Rising Above E-Book

J. C. Pohl

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Bildung
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 217

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

Transform your school's culture for the better In Rising Above, we meet Serenity Springs High School's new school counselor Monica Sheppard as she is fielding a barrage of school conflict issues coming at her from what seems like every direction. Backed by a team of veteran school culture experts from different facets of education, author JC Pohl delivers an engaging, ripped-from-the-headlines narrative about a fictional school community devolving into chaos. With social media running out of control, teachers feeling burnt out, and a principal that has simply lost her way, Monica immerses herself into the school community and strives to bridge many of the divides that define contemporary school environments across the United States. The book includes insights from real-world experts, including Principal Dr. Pete Getz, relationship expert Emil Harker, LMFT, and school counselor educator Dr. Stephanie Eberts. It also offers: * A comprehensive set of strategies and tools to help cure the ailments destroying school culture * Insightful discussions of teacher-student, teacher-teacher, teacher-administration, teacher-parent, teacher-staff, and student-student conflict management and resolution * A compelling narrative of a school leader rising above the chaos that surrounds her and showing readers a tangible pathway that leads to positive school conflict resolution An engrossing and essential read for principals, assistant principals, school counselors, and other district administrators, Rising Above also proves invaluable to K-12 teachers and higher education professors with an interest in building exemplary school cultures.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

COVER

PRAISE FOR

RISING ABOVE

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION

ALSO FROM JC POHL, LMFT

PREFACE

FEATURED EXPERTS

SECTION ONE: CONFLICT

CHAPTER ONE: OMELETS AND ARGUMENTS

CHAPTER TWO: TROUBLE INSERENITY

CHAPTER THREE: THE OUTBURST

CHAPTER FOUR: ONLINE BUT DISCONNECTED

CHAPTER FIVE: RED VS. BLUE

CHAPTER SIX: BURNT OUT

CHAPTER SEVEN: GOLFMAST3R_DAD3288

CHAPTER EIGHT: RETREAT AND REFOCUS

SECTION TWO: CONNECTION

CHAPTER NINE: A LITTLE NOW OR A LOT LATER

CHAPTER TEN: SILLY BEANS

CHAPTER ELEVEN: TRULY TROUBLED TONY

CHAPTER TWELVE: SERIOUS DIGITAL BEEF

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: A LITTLE AD HOMINEM

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: A COOLING EMBER

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: TRADING VINEGAR FOR HONEY

SECTION THREE: COLLABORATION

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: ONE PROBLEM TOO MANY

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: FREEDOM THROUGH ACCEPTANCE

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: BREAKTHROUGH

CHAPTER NINETEEN: FACE TO FACE

CHAPTER TWENTY: HEMISPHERES

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: REMEMBERING WHY

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: DEFUSED

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: HARVEST

GOING DEEPER: Monica's Journal

Emil Harker, LMFT

Pete Getz, PhD

Stephanie Eberts, PhD

Mary Jane Hetrick, PhD

Tamara Givens

Adam Lustig

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

JC Pohl

Ryan McKernan

INDEX

END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

Guide

Cover Page

Praise for Rising Above

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Also from JC Pohl, LMFT

Preface

Featured Experts

Table of Contents

Begin Reading

Going Deeper: Monica's Journal

About the Authors

Index

Wiley End User License Agreement

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Praise for Rising Above

When we look at the educational experience, we can quickly understand the importance that safe and supportive learning environments play, and why they should be at the forefront of all educator's minds. Challenges arise, however, when we start to look to the application of best practices and strategies to help support students and staff in our schools by establishing and sustaining these positive spaces. In Rising Above, JC Pohl is able to take what can often times be a daunting experience and provide real life, replicable solutions to help educators understand how to shift from theory to practice in understanding and meeting the needs of students and staff in our schools.

— Adam Lustig, Director, Leadership Services, Education & Training, National School Boards Association

As long as there are schools there will be conflict. But it doesn't have to be the knock‐down‐drag‐out kind. By writing this book as a fable about a fictitious school counselor, Pohl helps educators learn how to defuse typical school conflicts by showing us the way this counselor approaches conflict, speaks to those involved, and intentionally builds relationships—the true antidote to all conflicts.

— Jenn David‐Lang, THE MAIN IDEA, Learn & Lead: Masterminds for School Leaders

The salvation of public education is rooted in all stakeholders realizing we are on the same team. JC Pohl provides an insightful incorporation of key culture tenets, based on today’s realities, in a refreshing, hopeful, urgently needed playbook.

— Mary Jane Hetrick, PhD, School Board President, Dripping Springs ISD, Texas

As an education leader, I have learned that maintaining a safe and student‐centered environment can be accomplished simply by calming school conflict. JC Pohl has delivered a book that not only helps to give school leaders strategies to minimize conflict but also provides a tool that can be used to engage this issue with my staff and campus community. JC's story‐driven approach is refreshing, applicable, and uniquely different from most school culture books I have read.

— Dr. Pete M. Getz, Ed.D., Principal, Valencia High School, California

RISING ABOVE

A Story of Positive School Conflict Resolution

JC Pohl with Ryan McKernan

Copyright © 2023 John Wiley & Sons. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.,

Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada.

ISBNs: 9781394155453 (paperback), 9781394155460 (ePDF), 9781394155477 (ePub)

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per‐copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750‐8400,fax (978) 750‐4470 or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748‐6011,fax (201) 748‐6008,or online at www.wiley.com/go/permission.

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2023003039 (print), 2023003040 (ebook)

Cover Design: Wiley

Cover Image: © Ichpochmak/Shutterstock

Author Photo: Photo taken by Audrey Cardenas

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, events, and incidents are the products of the author's imagination.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

JCP: This book is dedicated to my mother, Jean Pohl. I don't think I have ever truly been in conflict with her, but for my entire life she has taught me to see the world with clear eyes and a full heart. I love you, Mom!

RM: This work is dedicated to my fiancée, Ali. Thank you for all your love, and for reminding me to take a break every now and then.

ALSO FROM JC POHL, LMFT

Building School Culture from the Inside Out

Building Resilient Students from the Inside Out

Building Campus Relationships from the Inside Out

TEEN TRUTH: Why Youth Have Something to Hide

RISING UP: Coaching Program – Curriculum Handbook

The TEEN TRUTH Film Series

PREFACE

In the briefest terms possible, conflict is best handled when broken down into two steps: connect and collaborate. Through these two steps, we can collectively rise above the challenges we face.

I know it isn't often that an author writes his own Preface. Usually this spot in the book is reserved for some kind of famous, influential voice that lends credibility and support to the project, but I did not obtain this information from a pool of famous people. After years on the road, building school culture through assemblies and workshops with TEEN TRUTH, I learned these lessons from school leaders like you.

In meeting so many of you, I realized that if I picked out a few of the best practices that I'd seen work really well at each school, put it together in a book, and offered it to educators as a resource, then teachers would be able to learn, adopt, and practice those strategies they believed would help their school the most.

This book seeks to do that. In that way, it's a little different. I don't want to tell you what to do, because the ins and outs of your school are best known to you. Instead, I decided to tell a story that I had seen happen personally. This story is of a composite character named Monica who teaches at Serenity Springs High School. Monica represents all the best teachers, counselors, and administrators that I've met throughout my years who have figured out ways to impart a tremendous, positive impact in their schools.

For this book, I reached out to a handful of people who succeeded regularly, specifically in addressing conflict. Each of them possesses vast experience and knowledge on the subjects addressed in this book, so I will make sure to point you to each of them as a reference. If you find value in this book, then you will find value in their work.

I've visited a lot of schools. Since 2006 I have been traveling across the country, listening to students and teachers voice their truth as they build school culture across North America. My mission was (and is) to cultivate a positive school climate in those communities. I have worked in every type of school community that you can imagine and with every type of school leader you can think of. At the time of writing this book, I personally have walked onto 1,243 campuses. Through TEEN TRUTH we have reached 11,285,800 students. In that time I have learned one thing with absolute clarity:

You, the people who work at those schools, are amazing. The work you do is amazing. The people you serve are amazing. The catch is that school conflict arises naturally and can sometimes feel like it's ruining your progress. At first glance, it might appear that conflict deflates our hearts and detracts from our mission, but that only occurs if we choose to see it as a fight. A battle. A war with blood and tears. That's certainly how I used to perceive conflict.

But in my travels, I began to see that there were people who approached conflict differently. I met people who somehow managed to negotiate what I thought was guaranteed to be a knock‐down‐drag‐out fight without having things escalate, and with both parties walking away better off than before.

Through several interviews with those experts, I slowly came to understand how they manage to do this. It's something anyone can learn, and everyone will benefit from. To help, I have added elements from these interviews as part of Monica's journal, as well as included all of the best points at the very end of this book.

This book was written to show you what that looks like through a story. One thing I've certainly learned from teachers is that examples go a long way.

With that in mind, I hope this story inspires and supports your own efforts to find positive resolution in your own conflicts. While the characters and stories in this book are fictional, they are based in reality. Many of you will recognize the archetypes portrayed in this book: a parent who is really concerned about how a school does things; a student who simply does not connect; a teacher who has been doing this job so long they have forgotten why, and if they could just find that spark again …

Through our protagonist's viewpoint, I want to offer you realistic examples that you can use immediately to start defusing conflict and improving campus culture. To do so, I interviewed the best experts I know in all aspects of the education field. They charted out a map that you can use in every aspect of your job (and your life). I hope you will find your time at Serenity Springs High School valuable and that when you do face that school conflict coming at you from all different directions that you will know exactly how to start rising above.

FEATURED EXPERTS

Emil Harker

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Dr. Pete Getz

Valencia High School Principal

Dr. Stephanie Eberts

Assistant Professor of Professional Practice at Louisiana State University

Dr. Mary Jane Hetrick

School Board President for Dripping Springs Independent School District

Adam Lustig

Director for Leadership Services and Training for the National School Boards Association

Tamara Gives

Granite Bay High School Activities Director

SECTION ONECONFLICT

CHAPTER ONEOMELETS AND ARGUMENTS

If you want to make an omelet, you've got to break some eggs, but that doesn't mean you need to make a mess of things. You can crack the shells over the pan instead of on your counter. With a little practice, you'll manage to keep the contents of the egg completely in the pan. Whisking doesn't need to be a violent action in order to be effective. You can stir decisively without spilling. The vegetables you chop can be kept in an orderly fashion on the cutting board, and gently corralled into the pan. Ultimately, saving yourself from having to clean up egg residue from your counter requires much less effort than it does to recklessly smash, scrape, hack, and blend an omelet together.

Monica practiced that mindfulness as she stood in front of her stove. She had learned the lesson after enduring countless chaotic preparations followed by many hours cleaning up after several needlessly messy omelets.

That lesson, like the many she had realized over her past few years of leading an examined life, offered a safe haven of calm and clarity in a daily moment that had once been a chore.

Monica's husband, Mike, prepared the other components of breakfast nearby. He took his time, arranging a small parfait for both of them. The two of them had learned to move harmoniously in their small kitchen, and their little cooking dance was one of the games that Monica enjoyed most. The shared activity helped them to start off their day on the same wavelength.

They had not always enjoyed such a harmonious existence together. They had very nearly ended their marriage just five years ago. Back then, they consistently fell into heated arguments, and fought about seemingly trivial issues. Despite loving each other sincerely, they just couldn't get along. Worse still, the fights never seemed to actually resolve or improve anything.

Their relationship had been saved one night after a particularly rough disagreement when they realized they had a choice to make: learn how to work as a team together, or split up.

They both agreed that night to go all in on trying to make things work. What followed next was a long but rewarding journey. They started with marriage counseling and worked together to develop all their communication skills. Through those communications skills, they learned that the main source of their problem was in the way they handled conflict.

Their default model went straight to criticism, and as a result each of them had been constantly on the defensive. Realizing this, they learned a new but still very simple model from which they first found connection and then collaboration.

Together, they figured out why neither of them had developed a more functional model of conflict resolution. Mike had grown up in a conflict‐avoidant home, and as a result, had trouble engaging in conflict until he had already reached a defensive emotional state. Over time, Monica understood that Mike was conflict avoidant not out of apathy, but out of a sincere love and desire for harmony. His defensive reaction wasn't because he was frail, but because he was truly trying his best and demanded a lot of himself.

In turn, Mike discovered that conflict was a big part of growth, and a cornerstone for a healthy relationship. Mike ultimately learned that Monica's inclination to address issues directly and immediately came from the same place of love. Monica wasn't nagging, Mike realized, she was advocating for the relationship to be as wonderful as they both knew it could be. She didn't want problems to fester and create a divide between them. She truly wanted harmony just as much as he did.

Back then, she didn't know how to address conflict in a collaborative way. A combination of media and her upbringing had conditioned her to believe that life was a zero‐sum game, and that a scarcity‐oriented, competition‐driven mindset was the only way for her needs to be met.

She realized she needed a new approach.

She began to try to look at conflict not in terms of competition and scarcity, but in terms of cooperation and abundance. In time, she learned that this point of view tended to deliver better results for both the other person and her.

Conflict, she realized, is best handled when broken down into two steps: connection and collaboration.

That was the beginning of the work. Over the years, the two of them got pretty darn good at establishing connection first and collaboration second.

The changes were small at first, but in time, the minutia aggregated into noticeable differences in their relationship. Gratitude grew. They began going on dates again. Mike began taking initiative in planning events. Conflicts resolved more easily. Then, one day Monica woke up and looked at Mike lying next to her. His head had slid off his pillow in the night, and he was drooling on the bed. As strange as it might sound, in that moment she realized she had fallen in love with him once again. They had put in the work and had found genuine happiness in each other.

They weren't perfect, of course. The two of them still stumbled, from time to time, but communication can be developed just like any other skill. The relationship blossomed.

Today was a warm, pleasant day. Outside, birds chirped over the sound of the city coming alive. Clouds passed across the sky, lazily. As Monica and Mike ate their omelet and parfait breakfast, Monica noticed a challenging feeling in the pit of her stomach. The feeling weighed heavily and emanated a foreboding nausea. She took a moment to go into the sensation, examining it and allowing herself to familiarize herself with what her body was telling her.

“I'm kind of anxious about starting today,” Monica told her husband.

“Yeah?” Mike replied, providing space for her to finish her thought.

Monica had diligently researched and prepared for her new position as counselor at Serenity Springs High School, but she still felt anxious. The school had a lot of problems. Despite the fact that the staff was experienced and capable, there were a lot of issues that needed to be resolved. Student engagement was low by any reasonable metric, grades were subpar, attendance was poor, and disciplinary action was slightly higher than average. None of these problems were particularly overwhelming in and of themselves, but the aggregate of all of them, Monica knew, was a strong indication that there were underlying school culture issues that needed to be addressed.

But for now, in this moment, Monica was sitting in her kitchen, eating breakfast with Mike. The stress of the day had not yet arrived, and by displacing herself away from the present moment, she was accomplishing nothing except for generating needless anxiety.

“It'll be alright,” Monica concluded. “I just needed to come back to the present.”

Mike nodded.

Monica considered asking Mike to pick up the milk, but realized he too was under a lot of stress. Rather than thoughtlessly add a task to his day, she decided to open up the discussion with her partner so they could collaborate and decide together.

“So … who's picking up milk today?” Monica asked.

“I'm headed to the north office, so my route is a ways away from milk,” Mike suggested.

“That's true,” Monica conceded, “but I've got an earlier start and a later end for my day, so from a total time invested point of view, logistics kind of break even.”

“Truth,” Mike said, “and honestly, I'm not bothered by the extra drive because that history podcast I've been listening to is getting good.”

“That's cool. Will you fill me in on it at dinner tonight?” Monica asked.

“Abso‐tively posi‐lutely,” Mike answered.

A chuckle escaped Monica. Mike was an unapologetic dork, and for some reason the weird little things he did always got her to laugh.

“Alright, alright,” Monica said, “I know I'm stressed about starting, but I know you're training a whole bunch of new people and that's stressful too, so … mental and emotional strain is probably pretty even?”

“Yup. So that means … there's only one fair way to settle this,” Mike suggested, balling his right hand up on top of his left hand. He loved leaving such matters to chance and didn't even try to conceal his excitement.

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”

The tasks and logistics were even. The emotional strain was even. Chance is fair, and Mike was going to pick up the milk today. Monica scooped up her lifeline—a journal that she had used to collect notes from all of her best advisors—and began the next part of her day.

CHAPTER TWOTROUBLE INSERENITY

The halls of Serenity Springs High School were still quiet when Monica arrived at the school. The building was well kept, with the school colors of navy blue and orange patterned occasionally on the predominately white tile floors. The bottom two‐thirds of the painted brick walls held that same, comforting blue, interrupted at the perfect height by a decisive orange line two bricks thick, running all the way down the hall. Above that, both colors gave way to a smooth, eggshell white, which converged perfectly with the perforated ceiling tiles, which Monica noted were present in virtually every school in America.

Monica's coffee had cooled off just enough for her to enjoy it comfortably as she took a lap around the school.

She took smooth, steady breaths in between sips, savoring the hazelnut notes and pleasant warmth in her mouth. A handful of teachers who had arrived early took care of those hidden tasks that kept the school running. Monica smiled and greeted each teacher with a sunny “Good morning.” She took care to feel authentic gratitude toward each of them with every greeting.

Monica knew that the teachers were the undisputed lynchpin to every school. She admired their efforts and recognized that her role as a counselor could only ever be effective if she held their trust. She also knew that such trust would only be given once the teachers knew she sincerely had their best interests in mind.