CHAPTER I.
YOU don't know about me without
you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer;
but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and
he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but
mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but
lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow,
or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly—Tom's Aunt Polly, she is—and Mary, and
the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a
true book, with some stretchers, as I said before.
Now the way that the book winds
up is this: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the
cave, and it made us rich. We got six thousand dollars apiece—all
gold. It was an awful sight of money when it was piled up. Well,
Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest, and it
fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round—more than a
body could tell what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took me for
her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough living
in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular and
decent the widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn't stand
it no longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-
hogshead again, and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he
hunted me up and said he was going to start a band of robbers, and
I might join if I would go back to the widow and be respectable. So
I went back.
The widow she cried over me, and
called me a poor lost lamb, and she called me a lot of other names,
too, but she never meant no harm by it. She put me in
them new clothes again, and I
couldn't do nothing but sweat and sweat, and feel all cramped up.
Well, then, the old thing commenced again. The widow rung a bell
for supper, and you had to come to time. When you got to the table
you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow
to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals,
though there warn't really anything the matter with them,—that is,
nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds
and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind
of swaps around, and the things go better.
After supper she got out her book
and learned me about Moses and the Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat
to find out all about him; but by and by she let it out that Moses
had been dead a considerable long time; so then I didn't care no
more about him, because I don't take no stock in dead people.
Pretty soon I wanted to smoke,
and asked the widow to let me. But she wouldn't. She said it was a
mean practice and wasn't clean, and I must try to not do it any
more. That is just the way with some people. They get down on a
thing when they don't know nothing about it. Here she was
a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to
anybody, being gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me
for doing a thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff,
too; of course that was all right, because she done it
herself.
Her sister, Miss Watson, a
tolerable slim old maid, with goggles on, had just come to live
with her, and took a set at me now with a spelling-book. She worked
me middling hard for about an hour, and then the widow made her
ease up. I couldn't stood it much longer. Then for an hour it was
deadly dull, and I was fidgety. Miss Watson would say, "Don't put
your feet up there, Huckleberry;" and "Don't scrunch up like that,
Huckleberry—set up straight;" and pretty soon she would say, "Don't
gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry— why don't you try to
behave?" Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said I
wished I was there. She got mad then, but I didn't mean no harm.
All I wanted was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I
warn't particular. She said it was wicked to say what I said; said
she wouldn't say it for the whole world; she was going to live so
as to go to the good place. Well, I couldn't see no advantage in
going where she was going, so I made up my mind I wouldn't try for
it. But I never said so, because it would only make trouble, and
wouldn't do no good.
Now she had got a start, and she
went on and told me all about the good place. She said all a body
would have to do there was to go around all day long with a harp
and sing, forever and ever. So I didn't think much of it. But I
never said so. I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go
there, and she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad about
that, because I wanted him and me
to be together.
Miss Watson she kept pecking at
me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By and by they fetched the
niggers in and had prayers, and then everybody was off to bed. I
went up to my room with a piece of candle, and put it on the table.
Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of
something cheerful, but it warn't no use. I felt so lonesome I most
wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled
in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off,
who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a
dog crying about somebody that was going to die; and the wind was
trying to whisper something to me, and I couldn't make out what it
was, and so it made the cold shivers run over me. Then away out in
the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it
wants to tell about something that's on its mind and can't make
itself understood, and so can't rest easy in its grave, and has to
go about that way every night grieving. I got so down-hearted and
scared I did wish I had some company. Pretty soon a spider went
crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it lit in the
candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up. I didn't
need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would
fetch me some bad luck, so I was scared and most shook the clothes
off of me. I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and
crossed my breast every time; and then I tied up a little lock of
my hair with a thread to keep witches away. But I hadn't no
confidence. You do that when you've lost a horseshoe that you've
found, instead of nailing it up over the door, but I hadn't ever
heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luck when you'd
killed a spider.
I set down again, a-shaking all
over, and got out my pipe for a smoke; for the house was all as
still as death now, and so the widow wouldn't know. Well, after a
long time I heard the clock away off in the town go boom—boom—
boom—twelve licks; and all still again—stiller than ever. Pretty
soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the
trees—something was a stirring. I set still and listened. Directly
I could just barely hear a "me-yow! me-yow!" down there. That was
good! Says I, "me-yow! me-yow!" as soft as I could, and then I put
out the light and scrambled out of the window on to the shed. Then
I slipped down to the ground and crawled in among the trees, and,
sure enough, there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me.
CHAPTER II.
WE went tiptoeing along a path
amongst the trees back towards the end of the widow's garden,
stooping down so as the branches wouldn't scrape our heads.
When we was passing by the
kitchen I fell over a root and made a noise. We scrouched down and
laid still. Miss Watson's big nigger, named Jim, was setting in the
kitchen door; we could see him pretty clear, because there was a
light behind him. He got up and stretched his neck out about a
minute, listening. Then he says:
"Who dah?"
He listened some more; then he
come tiptoeing down and stood right between us; we could a touched
him, nearly. Well, likely it was minutes and minutes that there
warn't a sound, and we all there so close together. There was a
place on my ankle that got to itching, but I dasn't scratch it; and
then my ear begun to itch; and next my back, right between my
shoulders. Seemed like I'd die if I couldn't scratch. Well, I've
noticed that thing plenty times since. If you are with the quality,
or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't
sleepy
—if you are anywheres where it
won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards
of a thousand places. Pretty soon Jim says:
"Say, who is you? Whar is you?
Dog my cats ef I didn' hear sumf'n. Well, I know what I's gwyne to
do: I's gwyne to set down here and listen tell I hears it
agin."
So he set down on the ground
betwixt me and Tom. He leaned his back up against a tree, and
stretched his legs out till one of them most touched one of mine.
My nose begun to itch. It itched till the tears come into my eyes.
But I dasn't scratch. Then it begun to itch on the inside. Next I
got to itching underneath. I didn't know how I was going to set
still. This miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes;
but it seemed a sight longer than that. I was itching in eleven
different places now. I reckoned I couldn't stand it more'n a
minute longer, but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try. Just
then Jim begun to breathe heavy; next he begun to snore—and then I
was pretty soon comfortable again.
Tom he made a sign to me—kind of
a little noise with his mouth—and we went creeping away on our
hands and knees. When we was ten foot off Tom whispered to me, and
wanted to tie Jim to the tree for fun. But I said no; he might wake
and make a disturbance, and then they'd find out I warn't in. Then
Tom said he hadn't got candles enough, and he would slip in the
kitchen and get some more. I didn't want him to try. I said Jim
might wake up and come. But Tom wanted to resk it; so we slid in
there and got three candles, and Tom laid five cents on the table
for pay. Then we got out, and I was in a sweat to get away; but
nothing would do Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was, on his
hands and knees, and play something on him. I waited, and it seemed
a good while, everything was so still and lonesome.
As soon as Tom was back we cut
along the path, around the garden fence, and by and by fetched up
on the steep top of the hill the other side of the house. Tom said
he slipped Jim's hat off of his head and hung it on a limb right
over him, and Jim stirred a little, but he didn't wake. Afterwards
Jim said the witches be witched him and put him in a trance, and
rode him all over the State, and then set him under the trees
again, and hung his hat on a limb to show who done it. And next
time Jim told it he said they rode him down to New Orleans; and,
after that, every time he told it he spread it more and more, till
by and by he said they rode him all over the world, and tired him
most to death, and his back was all over saddle-boils. Jim was
monstrous proud about it, and he got so he wouldn't hardly notice
the other niggers. Niggers would come miles to hear Jim tell about
it, and he was more looked up to than any nigger in that country.
Strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and look him all
over, same as if he was a wonder. Niggers is always talking about
witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but whenever one was
talking and letting on to know all about such things, Jim would
happen in and say, "Hm! What you know 'bout witches?" and that
nigger was corked up and had to take a back seat. Jim always kept
that five-center piece round his neck with a string, and said it
was a charm the devil give to him with his own hands, and told him
he could cure anybody with it and fetch witches whenever he wanted
to just by saying something to it; but he never told what it was he
said to it. Niggers would come from all around there and give Jim
anything they had, just for a sight of that five-center piece; but
they wouldn't touch it, because the devil had had his hands on it.
Jim was most ruined for a servant, because he got stuck up on
account of having seen the devil and been rode by witches.
Well, when Tom and me got to the
edge of the hilltop we looked away down into the village and could
see three or four lights twinkling, where there was sick folks,
maybe; and the stars over us was sparkling ever so fine; and down
by the village was the river, a whole mile broad, and awful still
and grand. We went down the hill and found Jo Harper and Ben
Rogers, and two or three more of the boys, hid in the old tanyard.
So we unhitched a skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a
half, to the big scar on the hillside, and went ashore.
We went to a clump of bushes, and
Tom made everybody swear to keep the secret, and then showed them a
hole in the hill, right in the thickest part of the bushes. Then we
lit the candles, and crawled in on our hands and knees. We went
about two hundred yards, and then the cave opened up. Tom poked
about amongst the passages, and pretty soon ducked under a wall
where you wouldn't a noticed that there was a hole. We went along a
narrow place and got into a kind of room, all damp and sweaty and
cold, and there we stopped. Tom says:
"Now, we'll start this band of
robbers and call it Tom Sawyer's Gang. Everybody that wants to join
has got to take an oath, and write his name in blood."
Everybody was willing. So Tom got
out a sheet of paper that he had wrote the oath on, and read it. It
swore every boy to stick to the band, and never tell any of the
secrets; and if anybody done anything to any boy in the band,
whichever boy was ordered to kill that person and his family must
do it, and he mustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he had killed
them and hacked a cross in their breasts, which was the sign of the
band. And nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that
mark, and if he did he must be sued; and if he done it again he
must be killed. And if anybody that belonged to the band told the
secrets, he must have his throat cut, and then have his carcass
burnt up and the ashes scattered all around, and his name blotted
off of the list with blood and never mentioned again by the gang,
but have a curse put on it and be forgot forever.
Everybody said it was a real
beautiful oath, and asked Tom if he got it out of his own head. He
said, some of it, but the rest was out of pirate-books and
robber-books, and every gang that was high-toned had it.
Some thought it would be good to
kill the families of boys that told the secrets. Tom said it was a
good idea, so he took a pencil and wrote it in. Then Ben Rogers
says:
"Here's Huck Finn, he hain't got
no family; what you going to do 'bout him?" "Well, hain't he got a
father?" says Tom Sawyer.
"Yes, he's got a father, but you
can't never find him these days. He used to lay drunk with the hogs
in the tanyard, but he hain't been seen in these parts for a year
or more."
They talked it over, and they was
going to rule me out, because they said every boy must have a
family or somebody to kill, or else it wouldn't be fair and square
for the others. Well, nobody could think of anything to
do—everybody was stumped, and set still. I was most ready to cry;
but all at once I thought of a way, and so I offered them Miss
Watson—they could kill her. Everybody said:
"Oh, she'll do. That's all right.
Huck can come in."
Then they all stuck a pin in
their fingers to get blood to sign with, and I made my mark on the
paper.
"Now," says Ben Rogers, "what's
the line of business of this Gang?" "Nothing only robbery and
murder," Tom said.
"But who are we going to
rob?—houses, or cattle, or—"
"Stuff! stealing cattle and such
things ain't robbery; it's burglary," says Tom Sawyer. "We ain't
burglars. That ain't no sort of style. We are highwaymen. We stop
stages and carriages on the road, with masks on, and kill the
people and take their watches and money."
"Must we always kill the
people?"
"Oh, certainly. It's best. Some
authorities think different, but mostly it's considered best to
kill them—except some that you bring to the cave here, and keep
them till they're ransomed."
"Ransomed? What's that?"
"I don't know. But that's what
they do. I've seen it in books; and so of course that's what we've
got to do."
"But how can we do it if we don't
know what it is?"
"Why, blame it all, we've got to
do it. Don't I tell you it's in the books? Do you want to go to
doing different from what's in the books, and get things all
muddled up?"
"Oh, that's all very fine to say,
Tom Sawyer, but how in the nation are these fellows going to be
ransomed if we don't know how to do it to them?—that's the thing I
want to get at. Now, what do you reckon it is?"
"Well, I don't know. But per'aps
if we keep them till they're ransomed, it means that we keep them
till they're dead."
"Now, that's something like.
That'll answer. Why couldn't you said that before? We'll keep them
till they're ransomed to death; and a bothersome lot they'll be,
too—eating up everything, and always trying to get loose."
"How you talk, Ben Rogers. How
can they get loose when there's a guard over them, ready to shoot
them down if they move a peg?"
"A guard! Well, that is good. So
somebody's got to set up all night and never get any sleep, just so
as to watch them. I think that's foolishness. Why can't a body take
a club and ransom them as soon as they get here?"
"Because it ain't in the books
so—that's why. Now, Ben Rogers, do you want to do things regular,
or don't you?—that's the idea. Don't you reckon that the people
that made the books knows what's the correct thing to do? Do you
reckon you can learn 'em anything? Not by a good deal. No, sir,
we'll just go on and ransom them in the regular way."
"All right. I don't mind; but I
say it's a fool way, anyhow. Say, do we kill the
women, too?"
"Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as
ignorant as you I wouldn't let on. Kill the women? No; nobody ever
saw anything in the books like that. You fetch them to the cave,
and you're always as polite as pie to them; and by and by they fall
in love with you, and never want to go home any more."
"Well, if that's the way I'm
agreed, but I don't take no stock in it. Mighty soon we'll have the
cave so cluttered up with women, and fellows waiting to be
ransomed, that there won't be no place for the robbers. But go
ahead, I ain't got nothing to say."
Little Tommy Barnes was asleep
now, and when they waked him up he was scared, and cried, and said
he wanted to go home to his ma, and didn't want to be a robber any
more.
So they all made fun of him, and
called him cry-baby, and that made him mad, and he said he would go
straight and tell all the secrets. But Tom give him five cents to
keep quiet, and said we would all go home and meet next week, and
rob somebody and kill some people.
Ben Rogers said he couldn't get
out much, only Sundays, and so he wanted to begin next Sunday; but
all the boys said it would be wicked to do it on Sunday, and that
settled the thing. They agreed to get together and fix a day as
soon as they could, and then we elected Tom Sawyer first captain
and Jo Harper second captain of the Gang, and so started
home.
I clumb up the shed and crept
into my window just before day was breaking. My new clothes was all
greased up and clayey, and I was dog-tired.
CHAPTER III.
WELL, I got a good going-over in
the morning from old Miss Watson on account of my clothes; but the
widow she didn't scold, but only cleaned off the grease and clay,
and looked so sorry that I thought I would behave awhile if I
could. Then Miss Watson she took me in the closet and prayed, but
nothing come of it. She told me to pray every day, and whatever I
asked for I would get it. But it warn't so. I tried it. Once I got
a fish-line, but no hooks. It warn't any good to me without hooks.
I tried for the hooks three or four times, but somehow I couldn't
make it work. By and by, one day, I asked Miss Watson to try for
me, but she said I was a fool. She never told me why, and I
couldn't make it out no way.
I set down one time back in the
woods, and had a long think about it. I says to
myself, if a body can get
anything they pray for, why don't Deacon Winn get back the money he
lost on pork? Why can't the widow get back her silver snuffbox that
was stole? Why can't Miss Watson fat up? No, says I to my self,
there ain't nothing in it. I went and told the widow about it, and
she said the thing a body could get by praying for it was
"spiritual gifts." This was too many for me, but she told me what
she meant—I must help other people, and do everything I could for
other people, and look out for them all the time, and never think
about myself. This was including Miss Watson, as I took it. I went
out in the woods and turned it over in my mind a long time, but I
couldn't see no advantage about it—except for the other people; so
at last I reckoned I wouldn't worry about it any more, but just let
it go. Sometimes the widow would take me one side and talk about
Providence in a way to make a body's mouth water; but maybe next
day Miss Watson would take hold and knock it all down again. I
judged I could see that there was two Providences, and a poor chap
would stand considerable show with the widow's Providence, but if
Miss Watson's got him there warn't no help for him any more. I
thought it all out, and reckoned I would belong to the widow's if
he wanted me, though I couldn't make out how he was a-going to be
any better off then than what he was before, seeing I was so
ignorant, and so kind of low-down and ornery.
Pap he hadn't been seen for more
than a year, and that was comfortable for me; I didn't want to see
him no more. He used to always whale me when he was sober and could
get his hands on me; though I used to take to the woods most of the
time when he was around. Well, about this time he was found in the
river drownded, about twelve mile above town, so people said. They
judged it was him, anyway; said this drownded man was just his
size, and was ragged, and had uncommon long hair, which was all
like pap; but they couldn't make nothing out of the face, because
it had been in the water so long it warn't much like a face at all.
They said he was floating on his back in the water. They took him
and buried him on the bank. But I warn't comfortable long, because
I happened to think of something. I knowed mighty well that a
drownded man don't float on his back, but on his face. So I knowed,
then, that this warn't pap, but a woman dressed up in a man's
clothes. So I was uncomfortable again. I judged the old man would
turn up again by and by, though I wished he wouldn't.
We played robber now and then
about a month, and then I resigned. All the boys did. We hadn't
robbed nobody, hadn't killed any people, but only just pretended.
We used to hop out of the woods and go charging down on hog-
drivers and women in carts taking garden stuff to market, but we
never hived any of them. Tom Sawyer called the hogs "ingots," and
he called the turnips and stuff "julery," and we would go to the
cave and powwow over what we had done, and how many people we had
killed and marked. But I couldn't see
no profit in it. One time Tom
sent a boy to run about town with a blazing stick, which he called
a slogan (which was the sign for the Gang to get together), and
then he said he had got secret news by his spies that next day a
whole parcel of Spanish merchants and rich A-rabs was going to camp
in Cave Hollow with two hundred elephants, and six hundred camels,
and over a thousand "sumter" mules, all loaded down with di'monds,
and they didn't have only a guard of four hundred soldiers, and so
we would lay in ambuscade, as he called it, and kill the lot and
scoop the things. He said we must slick up our swords and guns, and
get ready. He never could go after even a turnip-cart but he must
have the swords and guns all scoured up for it, though they was
only lath and broomsticks, and you might scour at them till you
rotted, and then they warn't worth a mouthful of ashes more than
what they was before. I didn't believe we could lick such a crowd
of Spaniards and A-rabs, but I wanted to see the camels and
elephants, so I was on hand next day, Saturday, in the ambuscade;
and when we got the word we rushed out of the woods and down the
hill. But there warn't no Spaniards and A-rabs, and there warn't no
camels nor no elephants. It warn't anything but a Sunday-school
picnic, and only a primer-class at that. We busted it up, and
chased the children up the hollow; but we never got anything but
some doughnuts and jam, though Ben Rogers got a rag doll, and Jo
Harper got a hymn-book and a tract; and then the teacher charged
in, and made us drop everything and cut.
I didn't see no di'monds, and I
told Tom Sawyer so. He said there was loads of them there, anyway;
and he said there was A-rabs there, too, and elephants and things.
I said, why couldn't we see them, then? He said if I warn't so
ignorant, but had read a book called Don Quixote, I would know
without asking. He said it was all done by enchantment. He said
there was hundreds of soldiers there, and elephants and treasure,
and so on, but we had enemies which he called magicians; and they
had turned the whole thing into an infant Sunday-school, just out
of spite. I said, all right; then the thing for us to do was to go
for the magicians. Tom Sawyer said I was a numskull.
"Why," said he, "a magician could
call up a lot of genies, and they would hash you up like nothing
before you could say Jack Robinson. They are as tall as a tree and
as big around as a church."
"Well," I says, "s'pose we got
some genies to help us—can't we lick the other crowd then?"
"How you going to get
them?"
"I don't know. How do they get
them?"
"Why, they rub an old tin lamp or
an iron ring, and then the genies come tearing in, with the thunder
and lightning a-ripping around and the smoke a-
rolling, and everything they're
told to do they up and do it. They don't think nothing of pulling a
shot-tower up by the roots, and belting a Sunday-school
superintendent over the head with it—or any other man."
"Who makes them tear around
so?"
"Why, whoever rubs the lamp or
the ring. They belong to whoever rubs the lamp or the ring, and
they've got to do whatever he says. If he tells them to build a
palace forty miles long out of di'monds, and fill it full of
chewing-gum, or whatever you want, and fetch an emperor's daughter
from China for you to marry, they've got to do it—and they've got
to do it before sun-up next morning, too. And more: they've got to
waltz that palace around over the country wherever you want it, you
understand."
"Well," says I, "I think they are
a pack of flat-heads for not keeping the palace themselves 'stead
of fooling them away like that. And what's more—if I was one of
them I would see a man in Jericho before I would drop my business
and come to him for the rubbing of an old tin lamp."
"How you talk, Huck Finn. Why,
you'd have to come when he rubbed it, whether you wanted to or
not."
"What! and I as high as a tree
and as big as a church? All right, then; I would come; but I lay
I'd make that man climb the highest tree there was in the
country."
"Shucks, it ain't no use to talk
to you, Huck Finn. You don't seem to know anything, somehow—perfect
saphead."
I thought all this over for two
or three days, and then I reckoned I would see if there was
anything in it. I got an old tin lamp and an iron ring, and went
out in the woods and rubbed and rubbed till I sweat like an Injun,
calculating to build a palace and sell it; but it warn't no use,
none of the genies come. So then I judged that all that stuff was
only just one of Tom Sawyer's lies. I reckoned he believed in the
A-rabs and the elephants, but as for me I think different. It had
all the marks of a Sunday-school.
CHAPTER IV.
WELL, three or four months run
along, and it was well into the winter now. I had been to school
most all the time and could spell and read and write just a little,
and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is
thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than
that if I was to live forever. I don't take no stock in
mathematics, anyway.
At first I hated the school, but
by and by I got so I could stand it. Whenever I got uncommon tired
I played hookey, and the hiding I got next day done me good and
cheered me up. So the longer I went to school the easier it got to
be. I was getting sort of used to the widow's ways, too, and they
warn't so raspy on me. Living in a house and sleeping in a bed
pulled on me pretty tight mostly, but before the cold weather I
used to slide out and sleep in the woods sometimes, and so that was
a rest to me. I liked the old ways best, but I was getting so I
liked the new ones, too, a little bit. The widow said I was coming
along slow but sure, and doing very satisfactory. She said she
warn't ashamed of me.
One morning I happened to turn
over the salt-cellar at breakfast. I reached for some of it as
quick as I could to throw over my left shoulder and keep off the
bad luck, but Miss Watson was in ahead of me, and crossed me off.
She says, "Take your hands away, Huckleberry; what a mess you are
always making!" The widow put in a good word for me, but that
warn't going to keep off the bad luck, I knowed that well enough. I
started out, after breakfast, feeling worried and shaky, and
wondering where it was going to fall on me, and what it was going
to be. There is ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck, but this
wasn't one of them kind; so I never tried to do anything, but just
poked along low-spirited and on the watch-out.
I went down to the front garden
and clumb over the stile where you go through the high board fence.
There was an inch of new snow on the ground, and I seen somebody's
tracks. They had come up from the quarry and stood around the stile
a while, and then went on around the garden fence. It was funny
they hadn't come in, after standing around so. I couldn't make it
out. It was very curious, somehow. I was going to follow around,
but I stooped down to look at the tracks first. I didn't notice
anything at first, but next I did. There was a cross in the left
boot-heel made with big nails, to keep off the devil.
I was up in a second and shinning
down the hill. I looked over my shoulder every now and then, but I
didn't see nobody. I was at Judge Thatcher's as quick as I could
get there. He said:
"Why, my boy, you are all out of
breath. Did you come for your interest?" "No, sir," I says; "is
there some for me?"
"Oh, yes, a half-yearly is in
last night—over a hundred and fifty dollars. Quite a fortune for
you. You had better let me invest it along with your six thousand,
because if you take it you'll spend it."
"No, sir," I says, "I don't want
to spend it. I don't want it at all—nor the six thousand, nuther. I
want you to take it; I want to give it to you—the six thousand and
all."
He looked surprised. He couldn't
seem to make it out. He says: "Why, what can you mean, my
boy?"
I says, "Don't you ask me no
questions about it, please. You'll take it—won't you?"
He says:
"Well, I'm puzzled. Is something
the matter?"
"Please take it," says I, "and
don't ask me nothing—then I won't have to tell no lies."
He studied a while, and then he
says:
"Oho-o! I think I see. You want
to sell all your property to me—not give it. That's the correct
idea."
Then he wrote something on a
paper and read it over, and says:
"There; you see it says 'for a
consideration.' That means I have bought it of you and paid you for
it. Here's a dollar for you. Now you sign it."
So I signed it, and left.
Miss Watson's nigger, Jim, had a
hair-ball as big as your fist, which had been took out of the
fourth stomach of an ox, and he used to do magic with it. He said
there was a spirit inside of it, and it knowed everything. So I
went to him that night and told him pap was here again, for I found
his tracks in the snow. What I wanted to know was, what he was
going to do, and was he going to stay? Jim got out his hair-ball
and said something over it, and then he held it up and dropped it
on the floor. It fell pretty solid, and only rolled about an inch.
Jim tried it again, and then another time, and it acted just the
same. Jim got down on his knees, and put his ear against it and
listened. But it warn't no use; he said it wouldn't talk. He said
sometimes it wouldn't talk without money. I told him I had an old
slick counterfeit quarter that warn't no good because the brass
showed through the silver a little, and it wouldn't pass nohow,
even if the brass didn't show, because it was so slick it felt
greasy, and so that would tell on it every time. (I reckoned I
wouldn't say nothing about the dollar I got from the judge.) I said
it was pretty bad money, but maybe the hair-ball would take it,
because maybe it wouldn't know the difference. Jim smelt it and bit
it and rubbed it, and said he would manage so the hair-ball would
think it was good. He said he would split open a raw Irish potato
and stick the quarter in between and keep it there all night, and
next morning you couldn't see no brass, and it wouldn't feel greasy
no more, and so anybody in town would take it in a minute, let
alone a hair-ball. Well, I knowed a potato would do that before,
but I had forgot it.
Jim put the quarter under the
hair-ball, and got down and listened again. This time he said the
hair-ball was all right. He said it would tell my whole fortune if
I wanted it to. I says, go on. So the hair-ball talked to Jim, and
Jim told it to me. He says:
"Yo' ole father doan' know yit
what he's a-gwyne to do. Sometimes he spec he'll go 'way, en den
agin he spec he'll stay. De bes' way is to res' easy en let de ole
man take his own way. Dey's two angels hoverin' roun' 'bout him.
One uv 'em is white en shiny, en t'other one is black. De white one
gits him to go right a little while, den de black one sail in en
bust it all up. A body can't tell yit which one gwyne to fetch him
at de las'. But you is all right. You gwyne to have considable
trouble in yo' life, en considable joy. Sometimes you gwyne to git
hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's
gwyne to git well agin. Dey's two gals flyin' 'bout you in yo'
life. One uv 'em's light en t'other one is dark. One is rich en
t'other is po'. You's gwyne to marry de po' one fust en de rich one
by en by. You wants to keep 'way fum de water as much as you kin,
en don't run no resk, 'kase it's down in de bills dat you's gwyne
to git hung."
When I lit my candle and went up
to my room that night there sat pap his own self!
CHAPTER V.
I had shut the door to. Then I
turned around and there he was. I used to be scared of him all the
time, he tanned me so much. I reckoned I was scared now, too; but
in a minute I see I was mistaken—that is, after the first jolt, as
you may say, when my breath sort of hitched, he being so
unexpected; but right away after I see I warn't scared of him worth
bothring about.
He was most fifty, and he looked
it. His hair was long and tangled and greasy, and hung down, and
you could see his eyes shining through like he was behind vines. It
was all black, no gray; so was his long, mixed-up whiskers. There
warn't no color in his face, where his face showed; it was white;
not like another man's white, but a white to make a body sick, a
white to make a body's flesh crawl—a tree-toad white, a fish-belly
white. As for his clothes—just rags, that was all. He had one ankle
resting on t'other knee; the boot on that foot was busted, and two
of his toes stuck through, and he worked them now and then. His hat
was laying on the floor—an old black slouch with the top caved in,
like a lid.
I stood a-looking at him; he set
there a-looking at me, with his chair tilted back
a little. I set the candle down.
I noticed the window was up; so he had clumb in by the shed. He
kept a-looking me all over. By and by he says:
"Starchy clothes—very. You
think you're a good deal of a big-
bug, don't you?"
"Maybe I am, maybe I ain't," I
says.
"Don't you give me none o' your
lip," says he. "You've put on considerable many frills since I been
away. I'll take you down a peg before I get done with you. You're
educated, too, they say—can read and write. You think you're
better'n your father, now, don't you, because he can't? I'll take
it out of you. Who told you you might meddle with such hifalut'n
foolishness, hey?—who told you you could?"
"The widow. She told me."
"The widow, hey?—and who told the
widow she could put in her shovel about a thing that ain't none of
her business?"
"Nobody never told her."
"Well, I'll learn her how to
meddle. And looky here—you drop that school, you hear? I'll learn
people to bring up a boy to put on airs over his own father and let
on to be better'n what heis. You lemme catch you fooling around
that school again, you hear? Your mother couldn't read, and she
couldn't write, nuther, before she died. None of the family
couldn't before theydied. I can't; and here you're a-swelling
yourself up like this. I ain't the man to stand it— you hear? Say,
lemme hear you read."
I took up a book and begun
something about General Washington and the wars. When I'd read
about a half a minute, he fetched the book a whack with his hand
and knocked it across the house. He says:
"It's so. You can do it. I had my
doubts when you told me. Now looky here; you stop that putting on
frills. I won't have it. I'll lay for you, my smarty; and if I
catch you about that school I'll tan you good. First you know
you'll get religion, too. I never see such a son."
He took up a little blue and
yaller picture of some cows and a boy, and says: "What's
this?"
"It's something they give me for
learning my lessons good." He tore it up, and says:
"I'll give you something
better—I'll give you a cowhide."
He set there a-mumbling and
a-growling a minute, and then he says:
"Ain't you a sweet-scented dandy,
though? A bed; and bedclothes; and a look'n'-glass; and a piece of
carpet on the floor—and your own father got to sleep with the hogs
in the tanyard. I never see such a son. I bet I'll take some o'
these frills out o' you before I'm done with you. Why, there ain't
no end to your airs—they say you're rich. Hey?—how's that?"
"They lie—that's how."
"Looky here—mind how you talk to
me; I'm a-standing about all I can stand now—so don't gimme no
sass. I've been in town two days, and I hain't heard nothing but
about you bein' rich. I heard about it away down the river, too.
That's why I come. You git me that money to-morrow—I want
it."
"I hain't got no money."
"It's a lie. Judge Thatcher's got
it. You git it. I want it."
"I hain't got no money, I tell
you. You ask Judge Thatcher; he'll tell you the same."
"All right. I'll ask him; and
I'll make him pungle, too, or I'll know the reason why. Say, how
much you got in your pocket? I want it."
"I hain't got only a dollar, and
I want that to—"
"It don't make no difference what
you want it for—you just shell it out."
He took it and bit it to see if
it was good, and then he said he was going down town to get some
whisky; said he hadn't had a drink all day. When he had got out on
the shed he put his head in again, and cussed me for putting on
frills and trying to be better than him; and when I reckoned he was
gone he come back and put his head in again, and told me to mind
about that school, because he was going to lay for me and lick me
if I didn't drop that.
Next day he was drunk, and he
went to Judge Thatcher's and bullyragged him, and tried to make him
give up the money; but he couldn't, and then he swore he'd make the
law force him.
The judge and the widow went to
law to get the court to take me away from him and let one of them
be my guardian; but it was a new judge that had just come, and he
didn't know the old man; so he said courts mustn't interfere and
separate families if they could help it; said he'd druther not take
a child away from its father. So Judge Thatcher and the widow had
to quit on the business.
That pleased the old man till he
couldn't rest. He said he'd cowhide me till I was black and blue if
I didn't raise some money for him. I borrowed three dollars from
Judge Thatcher, and pap took it and got drunk, and went a- blowing
around and cussing and whooping and carrying on; and he kept it
up
all over town, with a tin pan,
till most midnight; then they jailed him, and next day they had him
before court, and jailed him again for a week. But he said he was
satisfied; said he was boss of his son, and he'd make it warm for
him.
When he got out the new judge
said he was a-going to make a man of him. So he took him to his own
house, and dressed him up clean and nice, and had him to breakfast
and dinner and supper with the family, and was just old pie to him,
so to speak. And after supper he talked to him about temperance and
such things till the old man cried, and said he'd been a fool, and
fooled away his life; but now he was a-going to turn over a new
leaf and be a man nobody wouldn't be ashamed of, and he hoped the
judge would help him and not look down on him. The judge said he
could hug him for them words; so he cried, and his wife she cried
again; pap said he'd been a man that had always been misunderstood
before, and the judge said he believed it. The old man said that
what a man wanted that was down was sympathy, and the judge said it
was so; so they cried again. And when it was bedtime the old man
rose up and held out his hand, and says:
"Look at it, gentlemen and ladies
all; take a-hold of it; shake it. There's a hand that was the hand
of a hog; but it ain't so no more; it's the hand of a man that's
started in on a new life, and'll die before he'll go back. You mark
them words
—don't forget I said them. It's a
clean hand now; shake it—don't be afeard."
So they shook it, one after the
other, all around, and cried. The judge's wife she kissed it. Then
the old man he signed a pledge—made his mark. The judge said it was
the holiest time on record, or something like that. Then they
tucked the old man into a beautiful room, which was the spare room,
and in the night some time he got powerful thirsty and clumb out on
to the porch-roof and slid down a stanchion and traded his new coat
for a jug of forty-rod, and clumb back again and had a good old
time; and towards daylight he crawled out again, drunk as a
fiddler, and rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two
places, and was most froze to death when somebody found him after
sun- up. And when they come to look at that spare room they had to
take soundings before they could navigate it.
The judge he felt kind of sore.
He said he reckoned a body could reform the old man with a shotgun,
maybe, but he didn't know no other way.
CHAPTER VI.
WELL, pretty soon the old man was
up and around again, and then he went
for Judge Thatcher in the courts
to make him give up that money, and he went for me, too, for not
stopping school. He catched me a couple of times and thrashed me,
but I went to school just the same, and dodged him or outrun him
most of the time. I didn't want to go to school much before, but I
reckoned I'd go now to spite pap. That law trial was a slow
business—appeared like they warn't ever going to get started on it;
so every now and then I'd borrow two or three dollars off of the
judge for him, to keep from getting a cowhiding. Every time he got
money he got drunk; and every time he got drunk he raised Cain
around town; and every time he raised Cain he got jailed. He was
just suited
—this kind of thing was right in
his line.
He got to hanging around the
widow's too much and so she told him at last that if he didn't quit
using around there she would make trouble for him. Well, wasn't he
mad? He said he would show who was Huck Finn's boss. So he watched
out for me one day in the spring, and catched me, and took me up
the river about three mile in a skiff, and crossed over to the
Illinois shore where it was woody and there warn't no houses but an
old log hut in a place where the timber was so thick you couldn't
find it if you didn't know where it was.
He kept me with him all the time,
and I never got a chance to run off. We lived in that old cabin,
and he always locked the door and put the key under his head
nights. He had a gun which he had stole, I reckon, and we fished
and hunted, and that was what we lived on. Every little while he
locked me in and went down to the store, three miles, to the ferry,
and traded fish and game for whisky, and fetched it home and got
drunk and had a good time, and licked me. The widow she found out
where I was by and by, and she sent a man over to try to get hold
of me; but pap drove him off with the gun, and it warn't long after
that till I was used to being where I was, and liked it—all but the
cowhide part.
It was kind of lazy and jolly,
laying off comfortable all day, smoking and fishing, and no books
nor study. Two months or more run along, and my clothes got to be
all rags and dirt, and I didn't see how I'd ever got to like it so
well at the widow's, where you had to wash, and eat on a plate, and
comb up, and go to bed and get up regular, and be forever bothering
over a book, and have old Miss Watson pecking at you all the time.
I didn't want to go back no more. I had stopped cussing, because
the widow didn't like it; but now I took to it again because pap
hadn't no objections. It was pretty good times up in the woods
there, take it all around.
But by and by pap got too handy
with his hick'ry, and I couldn't stand it. I was all over welts. He
got to going away so much, too, and locking me in. Once he locked
me in and was gone three days. It was dreadful lonesome. I
judged
he had got drownded, and I wasn't
ever going to get out any more. I was scared. I made up my mind I
would fix up some way to leave there. I had tried to get out of
that cabin many a time, but I couldn't find no way. There warn't a
window to it big enough for a dog to get through. I couldn't get up
the chimbly; it was too narrow. The door was thick, solid oak
slabs. Pap was pretty careful not to leave a knife or anything in
the cabin when he was away; I reckon I had hunted the place over as
much as a hundred times; well, I was most all the time at it,
because it was about the only way to put in the time. But this time
I found something at last; I found an old rusty wood-saw without
any handle; it was laid in between a rafter and the clapboards of
the roof. I greased it up and went to work. There was an old
horse-blanket nailed against the logs at the far end of the cabin
behind the table, to keep the wind from blowing through the chinks
and putting the candle out. I got under the table and raised the
blanket, and went to work to saw a section of the big bottom log
out—big enough to let me through. Well, it was a good long job, but
I was getting towards the end of it when I heard pap's gun in the
woods. I got rid of the signs of my work, and dropped the blanket
and hid my saw, and pretty soon pap come in.
Pap warn't in a good humor—so he
was his natural self. He said he was down town, and everything was
going wrong. His lawyer said he reckoned he would win his lawsuit
and get the money if they ever got started on the trial; but then
there was ways to put it off a long time, and Judge Thatcher knowed
how to do it. And he said people allowed there'd be another trial
to get me away from him and give me to the widow for my guardian,
and they guessed it would win this time. This shook me up
considerable, because I didn't want to go back to the widow's any
more and be so cramped up and sivilized, as they called it. Then
the old man got to cussing, and cussed everything and everybody he
could think of, and then cussed them all over again to make sure he
hadn't skipped any, and after that he polished off with a kind of a
general cuss all round, including a considerable parcel of people
which he didn't know the names of, and so called them
what's-his-name when he got to them, and went right along with his
cussing.