Toss the Rocks and Get on With It! E-Book

Donna Strong

• Herausgeber: WS
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 119

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

Toss the Rocks and Get on With It!

Don’t Let Your Past Determine Your Future 

Are you carrying the weight of past negative messages, traumatic experiences, or self-limiting beliefs? Do the “rocks” from your past prevent you from living your ideal life? The good news is you do not have to live this way!

In Toss the Rocks and Get on with It! Don’t Let Your Past Determine Your Future, author Donna Strong shows you how to break free from the burdens of your past. 

In this transformative book, you will engage in a practical six-step process to help you identify, understand, process, and toss your rocks. Packed with insights, practical advice, and powerful strategies, this book is your personal guide to reclaiming your joy and making sure your past does not determine your future.  

It’s time to finally start living the life you were meant to live. So get on with it!  Freedom, joy, purpose, and possibilities are waiting for you on the other side.  

Leseprobe

Toss the Rocks and Get on With It!

Don't Let Your Past Determine Your Future

Donna Strong

Published by Hybrid Global Publishing 333 E 14th Street #3C New York, NY 10003

Copyright © 2024 by Donna Strong

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law.

Manufactured in the United States of America, or in the United Kingdom when distributed elsewhere.

Strong, DonnaToss the Rocks and Get on With It! Don't Let Your Past Determine Your Future        ISBN: 978-1-961757-71-4        eBook: 978-1-961757-72-1

LCCN: 2024924748

Cover design by: Julia Kuris Copyediting by: Sue Toth Interior design by: Suba Murugan Author photo by: Clix North Atlanta Photography Website: www.tosstherocks.com

This book is dedicated to my sweet mother who told me I was going to write a book. She did not know what kind of book but said I would “figure it out.” She was right! I thank her for being the catalyst that led me on this journey.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to:

My wonderful husband, Murray, for all his help, support, and encouragement.

My amazing daughter, Katie, for her support and encouraging words.

My parents, who made me who I am today.

Kelly Brumbeloe, pastor at Embrace, for her riveting sermon on the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit who boldly and clearly told me to write this book.

Lynn Hanna, my dear friend, who is a motivator and supporter.

Tonya Leary, my neighbor and special friend, who cheers me on.

Claudia Volkman, my editor, for her creativity, knowledge, and positivity.

Natalie Birnbaum, my friend and neighbor, for giving generously of her time to proofread my book.

Mike Birnbaum for his talented, creative photography and invaluable technical assistance.

All the numerous friends who encourage and believe in me.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Part 1: Rocks? What Rocks?

Step One: Assess Your Current Situation

Step Two: Envision Your Ideal Life

Step Three: Become Aware

Step Four: Count the Cost

Part 2: Get Rid of the Rocks Already!

Step Five: Toss the Rocks

Lose the Fear

Drop the Insecurity and Self-Doubt

Free Yourself of Perfectionism

Stop the People-Pleasing

Let Go of Resentments

Overcome Addictions

Part 3: The Time to Act Is NOW

Step Six: Develop Your Personal Action Plan

Conclusion

Introduction

The purpose of this book is to help you find joy by letting go of your emotional baggage. Imagine that you are carrying a bucket throughout your life. In this bucket are the negative things that hold you back and prevent you from getting to where you really want to be in life. In this book, these negative things are represented by rocks. Everybody has a bucket, and everybody has rocks!

These rocks represent old negative patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that don’t serve you well. They are obstacles to your true happiness and joy. They represent who you do not want to be anymore.

In order to achieve your best life, you will need to become aware of your rocks, decide to toss them, and take action to move toward your joy. At the end of your life, I want each of you to be able to say, “It was a great ride,” vs “I wish I would have.” This book will help you get there.

WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK

My mother was in the late stages of Alzheimer’s and had a very vivid imagination. She kept talking for months about a book she needed to return to the owner, but she couldn’t figure out who it belonged to. One day, in a clear state of mind, she told me that she had figured out the book dilemma. She went on to tell me with great certainty that I was to write a book! I was bewildered as I’ve never considered myself a writer.

“What kind of book, Mama?” I asked her.

“A children’s book,” she replied.

“What kind of children’s book? A book for children or for parents raising children?”

After a few moments, she said, “I don’t know, but you will figure it out.”

About a year later, in March 2010, my sweet Mama passed away. In her mind, she had solved the book puzzle, and she never mentioned it again.

For years, the idea of writing a book tugged at me. Fear and busyness kept me from writing the book, until now. You see, my number-one issue has always been FEAR. But finally, after many years, I came to believe that I must write this book. As for who the “children” are, they are each one of you who chooses to read this book. We are ALL children of God!

My own bucket in life has been heavy with emotional baggage, which I call “rocks,” and I have had to learn ways to “toss the rocks” so they didn’t continue to cripple my life. I often wished I would have had someone to “coach” me on how to do this.

At 30 years old, I was a wreck. I looked great on the outside with my youth, corporate job, sports car, money in the bank, and active social life. I had moved from my small hometown in North Carolina to Atlanta and looked the part of a successful young female. But inside, I was miserable and didn’t know how to change my life. I desperately wanted a relationship, a family, and a job that I enjoyed, but I clearly was not moving in that direction. To fill up the holes, I became a workaholic, partied too much, drank too much, and dated all the wrong men. Why? Because the rocks in my bucket were so big that I really didn’t know how to toss them, and I wasn’t even aware of all of them. I didn’t understand how they got there in the first place, and I was clueless how to overcome them. I was in therapy, but I didn’t feel I was getting at the true issues. My rocks at age thirty included many fears, such as the fear of:

•getting married

•having children

•quitting things

•failure

•not being good enough

•letting someone down

•being cheated on again

•loss of parents

I also struggled with some other big rocks:

•lack of self-love

•self-doubt

•resentments

These “rocks,” especially my fears, controlled my life. Fortunately, I was able to toss many of these rocks. I finally married an incredible man at age 39, and I can’t imagine life without him. We have an awesome daughter who we adopted when I was in my forties. She is an incredible gift and I absolutely love being a mom. Yes, I was “late to the party” due to all the fears I had to address, but I got there.

Daily, I still work to overcome fears and ensure they are not controlling my life. I now know what my rocks are, how they got there, and what I need to do to toss them, so they don’t ruin the rest of my life. I have learned that I must not allow my past fears and issues to determine my future. I know what I need to do in order to find my joy in life.

My goal is to “give back” to others what I have learned on my journey. I have a burning passion to reach out and help others make their lives more joyful and fulfilling. I want each of you to understand that whatever happened to you in your past does not have to dictate your future. Thank you for reading this book—may it help you immensely.

THE SIX STEPS FOR LIVING A LIFE OF JOY

In our journey together, we will cover the following six steps:

Step One: Assess Your Current Situation You will determine the areas of your life which are not serving you well. These are the things that you want to change.

Step Two: Envision Your Ideal Life You will define what your ideal life of joy looks like.

Step Three: Become Aware You will uncover the real rocks in your bucket that are preventing you from moving from your current situation to your ideal life.

Step Four: Count the Cost You will look at what it is costing you to continue carrying the rocks in your bucket vs. tossing them.

Step Five: Toss the Rocks This step covers strategies for getting rid of your rocks. It’s the “HOW” piece. Six of the most common “rocks” will be addressed:

•Fear

•Insecurity and Self-Doubt

•Perfectionism

•People-Pleasing

•Resentments

•Addictions

Step Six: Develop Your Personal Action Plan You will develop a personal action plan that will enable you to move from your current situation to your ideal life.

YOUR JOURNEY

As you go through this book and look at your own rocks, don’t expect yourself to be perfect. Rocks will always fill your bucket based on what is going on in your life. There is always a gap between where you are in life and where you want to be. This is how we grow. My hope is that you will learn to identify and toss your rocks on an ongoing basis, so they do not control you in a negative way.

Remember, we are all works in progress. My sincere hope for you is that you will empty that heavy bucket and experience true joy in your life.

My intent with this book is to be your coach, your partner on this fascinating journey. I want this to be YOUR story and focus on how you can improve your life so you can have a truly joyful life. This book is not just for reading, but also for DOING. You’ll want to do the personal exercises to achieve your best results. Consider it your own personal guidebook. You are worth the time! You give of yourself to so many other people and activities. Now it’s time for YOU! It’s time to find YOUR joy!

Part 1

Rocks? What Rocks?

Part 1 will cover the first four of the six steps I’ve identified to toss the rocks that are holding you back and finally start living the life of joy you deserve. You will take an introspective look at:

Step One: Assess your Current Situation (what areas of your life are not working)

Step Two: Envision Your Ideal Life (what would a joyful life really look like)

Step Three: Become Aware (of the rocks that are holding you back)

Step Four: Count the Cost (of not tossing your rocks)

Step One

Assess Your Current Situation

The greatest discovery one can make is not external, but internal--facing the mirror of discontent with unflinching honesty. It is in the depths of self-awareness that the seeds of true happiness are sown.

—Albert Einstein

In this chapter, we will look at the areas of your life which are not working in ways that serve you well. You will determine the things that are causing you pain, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, or anger. This exercise of identifying what is not working is a critical step towards making positive changes.

When I ask people how their life is going, usually they say, “Fine.” It’s much like asking a person, “How are you doing today?” Most people say fine even though they may be falling apart inside. “I’m fine” is a standard response that somewhere along the way, we’ve been taught to say. And it’s often not the truth.

While it is acceptable not to tell others your business, it is not okay to be dishonest with yourself. Only by looking deep inside and being brutally honest can we impact changes within ourselves which lead to a more joyful life.

When I was in my thirties, I looked great on the outside. However, I was like a microwave: I was shiny on the outside, but if you opened the door, I was a mess inside. I hid my pain by becoming a workaholic and partying too much. I would always rationalize that I would make changes “later.” But in reality, I was terrified of making changes and decisions. I wasn’t even sure what the problem was, which crippled my ability to make changes.

To get the most out of this book, I want you to make an honest deep dive into what is not optimal in your life. I have found that it is helpful to look at each of the main areas of our lives, and drill down to see if there are areas of discontent within each category.

The following exercise is designed to help you discover any areas of dissatisfaction. This is the DOING portion. If you skip this, you are just cheating yourself.

WHAT’S NOT WORKING WELL:

1.Health (Nutrition and Fitness) Are you getting enough exercise? Eating a healthy diet? Happy with your weight? Are there any doctor appointments or medical procedures you are putting off?

2.Career Do you enjoy your work? Like the people you work with? Feel you are using your strengths and talents? Have a path for advancement? Satisfied with the amount of money you are making? Are you a “quiet quitter” or are you passionate about your work?

3.Spiritual Life Do you believe there is a power greater than yourself? Do you know why you are here? What your purpose is? Are there areas of your spiritual life that you would like to explore or learn more about? How do you find peace in your daily life?

4.Family Life How is your relationship with your spouse or significant other, your children, parents, siblings, and extended family members? If you are single, are you happy? Do you spend enough quality time with those important to you?

5.Relationships with Friends Do you have a close friend (s) with whom you can be open and honest? Do you have a circle of friends that you enjoy spending time with? Do you have any toxic relationships that you need to re-think?

6.Financial Health Are you comfortable with the amount you are saving for retirement, major purchases, college education for your children? Are you living paycheck to paycheck? Feeling stressed about money? Have too much credit card debt?

7.Work/Life Balance