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- Herausgeber: Gita Publishing House
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
Woman— the eternal symbol of Shakti. Shakti is not force. It is the energy that integrates people, communities and nations. It is therefore woman’s integrated Shakti that will build a new civilization for the new age. Not only does this book acknowledge the potential of the feminine force, but it also outlines its massive, all encompassing role against the continuing backdrop of a largely patriarchal world.
His message is indeed a powerful one: a new civilization awaits us all, a
civilization built by women, a civilization of harmony and peace and
progress.
What makes this book a valuable addition to any library is the fact that each argument is backed up by expert data and socio-legal studies. Above all the author’s message is one of hope and promise, for he is certain that in the future women’s voices and contribution will grow from strength to strength.
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Seitenzahl: 330
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019
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Published byGita Publishing HouseSadhu Vaswani Mission,10, Sadhu Vaswani Path, Pune - 411 001, (India)[email protected]
© J.P. VaswaniFirst Published - 3000 copies - March, 20132nd Reprint - 3000 copies - 2017eBook edition – September, 2018
WOMEN: WHERE WOULD THE WORLD BE WITHOUT YOU?ISBN 978-93-86004-21-5
No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Author.
Printed byMehta Offset Pvt. Ltd.A-16, Naraina Industrial Area, Phase II,New Delhi - 110 028
WOMEN:
WHERE WOULD THE WORLDBE WITHOUT YOU?
J. P. VASWANI
GITA PUBLISHING HOUSEPUNE, (INDIA).www.dadavaswanisbooks.org
Dedication:
ToBeloved Mother,Smt. Krishna P. Vaswani-a woman of faith and courage,of simplicity, sweetness and strength-who, out of the fullness of anunderstanding heart,permitted me to offer myself at thefeet of my loving Master,Sadhu Vaswani,at a time when she needed me the most.Ma, India hath need of mothers like thee!
J. P. Vaswani
CONTENTS
WOMEN FASHION THE SOUL OF A NATION. THEY HOLD FAST ON TO TRADITION AND SO SUSTAIN THE CONTINUITY OF A PEOPLE.
– SADHU VASWANI
AUTHOR’S PREFACE
Time and again, I have had the opportunity to recall the stirring words of my beloved Gurudev, Sadhu Vaswani: “The woman-soul shall lead us upward on!”
I share his view that the future, indeed, belongs to women. I believe in his conviction that it is women who will take up the task of building the civilisation of the future, based on those great ideals of simplicity, sympathy, selfless service, silent sacrifice and spiritual aspiration. It is women who will have the shakti to rebuild the shattered world in the strength and integrity of their intuition, dedication and spirit of commitment.
Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani was, in many ways, the initiator of a great liberating movement which aimed to give women their rightful place in society, in the hidebound and conservative world of undivided India, as early as the 1920s. The women of Sind were the first beneficiaries of this quiet, non-violent revolution that he spearheaded.
Feminism, women’s liberation and the empowerment of women have become much used, almost clichéd expressions now. In the days before the word ‘feminism’ was even coined, Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani did everything he could to break the shackles of superstition and hidebound ‘customs’ that had kept Sindhi women restricted and confined for centuries. He offered the purdah-clad, kitchen- bound women of Sind, spiritual liberation in the true sense of the term. Indeed, I would say that he was the initiator of a unique women’s movement, which focussed on the spiritual strength of women. How many of you who read this book in the second decade of the twenty-first century will believe me if I tell you that this great liberating movement began in a satsang?
His Sakhi Satsang, a spiritual association of women formed for the purpose of helping them to realise their true potential, enabled many women to become decisionmakers for the first time in their personal lives- by the very act of voluntarily joining his satsang. It would be no exaggeration to say that he inducted Sindhi women into what had until then been the domain of men- the practice of religion in the true sense.
He spoke out against the purdah as also against the deadly custom of deti-leti (dowry). At the same time, he was also aware of the dangers of excessive ‘modernism’, warning women against aping western fashions blindly. He encouraged them to cultivate the virtue of simplicity in their dress and in their daily life.
The Sakhi Satsang was quite revolutionary in its spiritual, social, cultural and economic impact on Sindhi women, if one were to consider the Movement in all its aspects. For the first time, women learnt about economic independence, accountability and trust, when they were given the management of Sakhi Stores. They took their first steps on the path of self-reliance, outside the secure confines of their own homes.
At the Sakhi Conference organised by him for their benefit, they had the chance to make themselves heard on matters concerning themselves; on social evils like dowry, child marriage and exploitation. Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani’s Seva Ashram opened a new world to women who wished to tread the spiritual path. Above all, he emphasised the spiritual shakti of women, exclaiming aloud to the male-dominated society, “The woman soul shall lead us upward, on!”
Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani’s contribution to women’s education was equally significant. The MIRA Movement in Education which he founded in Hyderabad-Sind set new standards for value-based education which emphasised character building and cultivation of the soul. The Mira Movement was, first and foremost, an educational movement exclusively devoted to the development of woman power. His ideal of the triple training of the head, the hand and the heart added a new dimension to the education for girls.
This book is my humble tribute to the great visionary and prophet of modern India, Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani, whose faith in the woman-soul was tremendous. It is also an expression of my deep appreciation of that wonderful half of the human population- our women, our mothers, sisters and daughters- who alone are capable of touching life at its very core.
In my own way, I like to think that women are superior to men; for he is only a part of she; male is only a part of female; and, needless to say, man is but a fraction of woman!
I offer for your reflection the beautiful words of Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani:
A New World is in the making.
The man-made world has proved to be a broken, bleeding world.
Man has blundered badly, for man has believed in force. Even marriage at one time, was marriage by capture.
Man has had his chance. Masculine mentality has blundered.
Now woman gets her chance. She is called upon to build a New World.
She is a symbol of shakti in the Hindu scriptures. And shakti is not force. Shakti is integration.
Today, disintegration is setting in. A woman is the centre of social integration…Our homes must move in a new atmosphere of the simple life; else they will break up for they cannot stand the strain of this heavy drain…
The woman-soul has the shakti to rebuild the shattered world in the strength of her intuitions, her purity, her simplicity, her spiritual aspirations, her sympathy and silent sacrifice.
The woman-soul will lead us upward on!
J.P. Vaswani
SITA
Sita is the epitome of the ideal Indian woman, as daughter, as wife and mother. As the wife of Sri Rama, who is an incarnation of Lord Vishnu, she is an aspect of His Divine Consort, Lakshmi. But this does not mean she is superhuman, and therefore, an impractical, unachievable role model for us: one of the striking features of Sri Rama Avatara was that the Lord subjected Himself and His wife to human limitations, human obligations, human restrictions and adversities- and still upheld the highest morals and virtues, against all odds. Sita therefore, is an outstanding example of virtue, fortitude, forbearance and inner strength.
Daughter of a great king, Janaka, Sita was married to a prince and was expected to become, in her turn, a great queen. But Divine Will ordained it otherwise- just as it does to other mortals. When her husband voluntarily took up exile from his father’s kingdom, Sita followed him to vanvaas (life in the forest) for fourteen years. She could have chosen to stay behind- but she believed that a wife’s rightful place was beside her husband- a splendid gesture in favour of the sanctity of the marriage bond.
The young couple’s sojourn in the forests was austere, simple and devoid of all luxury- but it was, nevertheless, idyllic and blissfully serene, until the unthinkable happened, and Sita was abducted by the demon, Ravana.
What ensued was utter misery for the couple- Sita’s incarceration, isolation and enforced separation from kher husband. That Sita survived it, was testimony to her fortitude, her patience and her undying faith.
Many modern scholars and critics regard Sita as a symbol of the abject subjugation and degradation of women: their argument is that she allowed herself to be put through the ordeal of fire to ‘prove’ her virtue; she allowed herself to be exiled from her husband’s home and kingdom to help establish her husband’s integrity as a perfect ruler; and she surrendered all her rights as queen and wife to bring up her sons all alone- without a protest!
I look at Sita a little differently. The life of Sri Rama and Sita were Divinely ordained to show us how exacting and arduous it is to follow the highest moral standards in private life and the highest ethical standards in public life. To construe such lofty and noble conduct in superficial modern terms is to do grave injustice to our great epics and the deeply symbolic lives our Divine incarnations lived. True, a modern woman may not act or react with Sita’s forbearance and fortitude- in this sense, she is not what we may call a ‘role-model’; but she does represent an ideal that we may attempt to emulate, to the best of our ability!
Selflessness, forgiveness, the capacity to endure suffering for the sake of the ultimate good- are these not the qualities of all saints and saviours? We would do well to remember too, that Sita was the daughter of Mother Earth- an aspect of Bhumata. Does the earth not show us the same forbearance that Sita displayed?
In her love, loyalty, faith, courage, patience and the firm conviction to stand up for what she believed to be right, Sita is a star among women!
A WORD ABOUT THIS BOOK…
This is not just a book by a man about women.
It is a tribute to womanhood and women everywhere.
It is a recognition that one half of humanity are my equals, perhaps my betters in human traits that make us really good human beings.
I am aware that they are different, but they are nevertheless my fellow human beings, my sisters.
Let me begin with the story of a princess of yore, who was a rebel, a pathbreaker, a woman who lived life on her own terms and achieved her life’s goal against all odds.
Can you guess who she is?
She was not a scholar or a prophet; yet she was a social reformer. She was not a rationalist or atheist; yet she shattered narrow traditions. She was born, brought up and married into the most conservative and patriarchal family; yet she had the courage of conviction to stand up for what she believed in. She lived in an age when women had no identity of their own, except as daughters, mothers and wives; yet she broke away from hidebound conventions to create a unique identity for herself; as a free spirit, as a pure soul, as a trailblazer…
Chhand gayi, kul ki aan kaa kari hai koi…
I renounced the reputation of my lineage, so what can anyone do to me?
Some of you probably recognised those immortal words.
Yes, she was none other than Mira! The princess who turned into a wandering minstrel, the singing saint, beloved of thousands of Indians, the devotee of Sri Krishna who turned her back on wealth and pomp and power, to seek Liberation and Union with the Lord! Her very name is dear to all of us, the devotees of Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani, for Gurudev chose her as a role model for the woman-soul; he chose to name his new Education Movement after her. Let me begin this account of Mira’s life with his own words:
Four centuries and a half ago, was born, in a village in Mewar, that spiritual genius, the great singer of the love of God- Saint Mira. She lives in the heart of India. Her songs are so unspeakably rich in the wisdom of the Spirit! Her life was so simple and so sublime!
“God’s saints are shining lights,” said a mystic. From the Himalayas to Cape Comorin, from Karachi to Calcutta, Mira is to many a “shining light”. The secret of her light is devotion (bhakti) to Sri Krishna.
In Rajasthan, in Gujarat, and in North India, her songs are still sung in many homes, the central note of the song being- “I abandon all to Thee, O Lord! To Thee I surrender all I am!”
I abandon all to Thee, O Lord!
How many of us can say that- and mean every word?
She made up her mind about what she wanted to do at a very early age: she never ever swerved from her ideal.
Mere to Girdhar Gopal doosro na koyi…
She wanted to devote her life to the Lord; they married her off as a child bride; she became a young widow; they actually expected her to commit sati, burning herself alive on her husband’s funeral pyre, as was the tradition among Rajput queens. As an alternative to this, they had thought that she would live in seclusion and isolation. She defied all restrictions and regulations.
Instead of following traditional norms imposed on her by a feudal society, Mira took to a life of ardent worship, becoming one of the leading forces of the great Bhakti Movement, which was then sweeping all over medieval India. She openly referred to herself as the Lord’s slave, the spouse of Sri Krishna. Like so many saints associated with the Bhakti Movement, she ignored petty, parochial divisions of gender, class, caste and religious boundaries, and spent time caring for the poor. Her true devotion, her Divine songs and the sheer spiritual magnetism of her bhakti, drew many followers to her temple. They thought that the young princess was the very embodiment of piety. They became Krishna bhaktas themselves, and gathered in large numbers to join her kirtan and pujas at the shrine. Her popularity among the common people grew from more to more. She too, felt she was one of them; for how can there be rich and poor, high and low, prince and pauper, man and woman among the lovers of the Lord? If she was a devotee, so were they; if they were servants of Sri Krishna, so was she. They grew to love her, and she mingled with them freely. At times, overcome by her intense devotion, she would even go out on to the streets, stringing her tanpura, and dancing in ecstatic piety.
She was subjected to severe persecution and mental torture; her sister-in-law actually tried to poison her. She bore it all in patience, with undaunted courage. In every difficulty and crisis that she faced, her only support and solace was her devotion to Sri Krishna.
There is one important phase of her life that is of special interest to this book, which I would like to highlight here.
Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani tells us, that it is ever the fate of those who aspire to meet the Lord, that they must face loneliness; they must tread their chosen path all alone.
Alone, Mira leaves Chittor, in the darkness of the night. Alone, she moves out, this Rajput princess, who is truly heroic at heart, firm in her devotion for Sri Krishna. As Gurudev Sadhu Vaswani puts it, this is indeed a difficult period in her life- difficult, but blessed. She walks the way of quest, her heart crying out again and again, “Where, O, where art Thou, Beloved?”
Moving along the pilgrim way, she visits shrine after shrine, until she reaches Brindavan. Here she finds a thousand temples dedicated to her dear Sri Krishna. For it was here that He grew up, here that He tended His cows, here that He played the flute, capturing the hearts of the gopas and gopis, His playmates and beloved companions. Mira’s heart is filled with ecstasy!
In Brindavan, she comes to the temple wherein is located the ashram of Jiva Goswami, the great disciple of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Mira is anxious to have his darshan; standing at the gates of the temple, she sends word that she wishes to pay her respects to the Goswami.
Back comes the prompt reply, “I never meet women!”
Mira smiles. “Foolish me!” she exclaims. “In my ignorance I thought that Sri Krishna was the only Male- the Purushottama- in Brindavan, while the rest of us were all His gopis. Now I know, that He has a peer, a rival, who also considers himself a male in Brindavan!”
Jiva Goswami is unnerved by the statement. He realises that it is no ordinary bairagin who stands at his gate. She is a supreme devotee of the Lord. He rises from his seat and rushes out to open the gates of his kutiya. With great reverence and admiration he ushers Mira inside. She has opened his eyes to the truth that there can be no bias, no discrimination among the devotees of the Lord.
To the generation that believes Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, I humbly refer the shining example of Mira.
Many of us continue to believe, even today, that a woman’s place is in the home, in the kitchen, two steps behind a father or a husband, submissive, ever obeying instructions and orders, never asserting her identity. Any woman who breaks away to forge her own image is ostracised and viewed with suspicion. And yet, despite this conviction that she is weak and helpless, the most atrocious forms of violence are perpetrated against her! What is worse, some people even insist that if she is abused and molested, it is all her fault! She is the one to be blamed!
With Mira to inspire and guide us, let us set out to right the wrong, at least in our attitudes and our way of thinking. Let us attempt to understand woman and what she really represents.
SECTION I
TO RIGHT THE WRONG….
WHY ARE SOME OF US MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS?
We have heard it said again and again: all of us are equal in the eyes of God; all of us are born free; all of us should enjoy equal rights…
The UN Declaration of Human rights states this emphatically:
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Gender Inequality denies this basic premise. It is a gap that divides men and women, keeping women at an artificially created (man made) disadvantage, by denying them equal opportunities in health care, education, empowerment and economic attainments.
Equality is not a concept of sameness. We are all gloriously unlike each other, refreshingly different in our mental and physical make-up. But the differences should be celebrated, not discriminated.
A sister said to me, “When girls are born, we dress them in pink; and the discrimination begins right there!”
At home, sons are given greater freedom; sons get to keep the landed property; men eat their dinners and lunches first; sons get to study what they choose; sons have their say in all matters…
At the workplace, there is income disparity; there is the glass ceiling, the invisible roof beyond which a woman’s career cannot grow; there is harassment from superiors and colleagues; there is lack of care and facilities; there are opportunities denied…
In the family, mothers cook and clean and care for the children; fathers go out to work and are breadwinners; housework is not shared equally; women are expected to stretch their time and efforts to do all that is expected of them, falling into the double shift syndrome… Even when women earn more than men, they are still primary caregivers. A recent report suggests that women who work outside the home often put an extra 18 hours a week doing household or childcare related chores as opposed to men who average 12 minutes a day in childcare activities.
In the rural areas of developing countries like India, the face of gender inequality is even more ugly; women and girls even starve so that the males of the house can eat well; hard and laborious tasks like fuel gathering and fetching water from great distances are left to the women and girls; young girls are taken out from school to look after their younger siblings and cook for the family; child marriages, forced marriages and marriages of convenience are still rampant.
Gender inequality occurs due to prejudiced treatment leading to discrimination and sexism. It varies from place to place and is determined by race, culture, economic status and even politics. True, some men are also victims of such inequality; but as UN experts say, “Discrimination against women is an entrenched, global pandemic”. In some third world countries, rape and violence against women are used as tools of war!
Even in the world’s most powerful country, the US, women are more likely than men “to live in poverty, earn less money for the same work, are more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence and rape, and have less of a political voice”.
How can we create a more fair and equitable society which does not discriminate against one half of its own people?
WORSE THAN MURDER!
Here are some facts and figures that should make Indians hang their heads in shame: the BBC recently reported that more than ten million female foetuses have been illegally aborted in India. Researchers for the Lancet journal based in Canada and India stated that 500,000 girls were being lost annually through sex selective abortions.
The horror of taking a life away before it is even born upon earth… the unspeakable tragedy of mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts and uncles colluding to kill a child that is heir to the family…and doctors who have affirmed the Hippocratic oath assisting this process…
Some of us are laboring under the false delusion that such ‘barbaric practices’ are confined to rural areas and primitive, illiterate rural communities. We cannot be more mistaken. It is happening, even as we speak, in educated, affluent upper class urban homes, where daughters are not wanted.
When infant daughters are born to educated women, her husband and in-laws don’t bother to come and see the baby in the nursing home. Some women are unceremoniously abandoned by the husbands for having committed the unpardonable act of giving birth to a daughter. If the girl babies are brought home, they are either forcibly poisoned or abandoned at the insistence of the powers-that-be…
A report based on the 2011 Census tells us that the rate at which the unborn female child is killed amounts to killing off 10,00,000 girls a year. The long term adverse effect of this pernicious practice is that the gender ratio is beginning to drop alarmingly!
When will we realise that the girl child is not meant to be a prey to our killing instincts?
HER SAFEST SANCTUARY?
Physical violence: hitting, kicking, shoving, pushing, slapping, throwing objects at the victim…
Emotional violence: verbal abuse, bullying, ridiculing, insulting, intimidating, threatening, neglecting, starving or locking up a victim…
Psychological violence: humiliating, alienating, isolating, controlling, restraining, undermining the selfesteem and self-confidence of the victim.
Dear readers, I am not referring to medieval systems of torture; I am referring to a recurring phenomenon of the 20th and 21st centuries: namely, domestic violence.
All that has been referred to above, happens within the four walls of that sacred space that we call a griha or home.
If I seem to refer to reports repeatedly, it is not to take refuge in statistics, but to bring home to you the magnitude of the problem.
We are told that 3.3 million children witness domestic violence each year in the US alone. If you project that figure on to the world population, you can say without exaggeration that at least a billion children must be doing so worldwide.
Most of the perpetrators of domestic violence are men- sadly, fathers and husbands.
According to psychiatrists and sociologists, domestic violence arises out of a need for power and control of one partner over the other. An abuser will use various tactics of abuse (some of them listed above) in order to establish and maintain control over the partner. Unfortunately, these behaviour patterns are often addictive, and lead to a vicious cycle of abuse or violence. Worst of all, it has led to reciprocal violence, in which women are being implicated increasingly, often taking out their anger and powerlessness on children. But the fact remains that women are the worst victims of domestic violence.
Experts tell us that when a boy grows up seeing his father assault his mother, he starts to accept such behaviour and imitates the same.
The fear, shame, anger, guilt and violence involved in these cases has meant that we still remain in the dark about many implications of domestic abuse.
The UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women (1993) states that “violence against women is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women, which has led to domination over and discrimination against women by men and to the prevention of the full advancement of women, and that violence against women is one of the crucial social mechanisms by which women are forced into a subordinate position compared with men.”
What hope do women have when their safest sanctuary turns into a terror camp?
DAUGHTERS ARE NOT FOR SALE!
Streedhan (literal meaning: women’s wealth) was an ancient and highly respectable practice, which ensured that the daughters of a family got their fair share of ancestral property in the form of gold and silver, while landed property stayed with the family, unfragmented. Perhaps some people may argue that this practice was in itself discriminatory, as land is still the most prized and valuable asset, and women are denied hereditary rights to it. In a society and culture which regards a daughter as paraya dhan (another’s property) such discrimination is perhaps inevitable.
Streedhan included all material assets, jewellery and utensils gifted by her parents to a bride at the time of her wedding. It was always given voluntarily, never demanded or forced. It also remained the exclusive property of the woman and neither her husband nor his family had any rights over it.
Thus this form of ‘dowry’ that started off as a practice to give away presents to the departing daughter, in the form of a few resources to begin her new married life, slowly assumed monstrous proportions and turned into a social evil. Dowries began to be demanded, then became extortions, and parents and daughters became hapless victims. Brides were expected to bring in “gifts” regardless of their personal willingness or their parents’ capacity. Lengthy lists were prepared and sent to the girl’s house before the wedding. And if the demands were not met, weddings were cancelled to the enormous embarrassment and even shame of the girl’s family. Thus began the trauma of daughters, who were regarded as a drain on the parents’ resources, and therefore to be avoided at all costs through sex-determination tests and illegal abortions.
But the worst part of the story is this: not satisfied with the preliminary acquisitions at the wedding, the bridegroom’s parents continued their extortion demands; and when their greed could no longer be appeased, the heinous practice of dowry deaths began to happen with sickening regularity, all over the country. Either the tortured brides committed suicide, or their vicious in-laws burnt them to death and reported that a stove in the kitchen had burst accidentally and killed their dear one!
Even today, this inhumanity continues to flourish. Soon after the marriage, some families start demanding more dowry from the girl’s parents. If there are ten thousand cases filed every year, thousands more go unreported, while the fury of greed continues to grow unabated.
It is not that the government has been inactive in this matter: but its ordinances and legislations have proved to be ineffective. Demand for dowry is today a cognizable offence. A groom demanding dowry can be criminally prosecuted. But the perpetrators of this evil are uncaught, unpunished and therefore unafraid.
When will our people return to the ideals of simplicity, honesty, integrity and sincerity? When will we stop buying and selling our girls as brides?
DEFENDER OR OFFENDER?
An atheist brother, afflicted with the terrible ailments of divisive and bigoted thought wrote to me once: “Inequity and degradation of women are sanctified by the Hindu religion”.
I was reminded of the words of Mark Twain: “India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.” He was obviously referring to the Sanatana Dharma of ancient India.
Are we talking about the same country and the same people, you might wonder.
The social evils of India are many; but they are not necessarily Hindu evils.
In this country, until a few centuries ago, women walked long distances, across the length and breadth of the vast subcontinent, on tirth yatras to Ganga, Yamuna and the sacred Triveni Sangam, as well as on holy pilgrimages to Badrinath in the Himalayas to Rameshwaram in the South; to Jagannath Puri in the East and Dwarka in the west. They walked without fear of molestation or violence; they came to no harm.
But today, we have the dubious distinction of our national capital being labelled “the rape capital of the world”. Here is an excerpt from a European newspaper:
More than almost anywhere else, violence against women is a brutal fact of life in the Indian subcontinent. According to official figures cited by Agence France Presse, females were victims in almost 230,000 of the more than 256,000 violent crimes reported in India last year. Just as shocking is the willingness of police, judges and government officials to tolerate attacks on women by blaming victims and excusing offenders.
A BBC report adds fuel to the fire:
Female foetuses are aborted and baby girls killed after birth, leading to an appallingly skewed sex ratio. Many of those who survive face discrimination, prejudice, violence and neglect all their lives, as single or married women.
Trust Law, a news service run by Thomson Reuters, has ranked India as the worst country in which to be a woman. This, ironically, in a country where the leader of the ruling party, the speaker of the Lower House of Parliament, at least three chief ministers, and a number of sports and business icons are women. It is also a country where a generation of newly empowered young women are going out to work in larger numbers than ever before.
But they are not safe in public places, on the roads, and in public transport. Worst of all, many of them are not even safe at home!
More and more women are becoming educated. But crimes against women are rising too.
With more than 24,000 reported cases in 2011, rape registered a 9.2% rise over the previous year. More than half (54.7%) of the victims were aged between 18 and 30. Most disturbingly, according to police records, the offenders were known to their victims in more than 94% of the cases. Neighbours accounted for a third of the offenders, while parents and other relatives were also involved. Delhi accounted for over 17% of the total number of rape cases in the country.
And it is not rape alone. Police records from 2011 show kidnappings and abductions of women were up by 19.4%, women being killed in disputes over dowry payments by 2.7%, torture by 5.4%, molestation by 5.8% and trafficking by an alarming 122% over the previous year.
What can we do about this national shame?
ALL IN FUN?
Eve teasing is a euphemism, an inoffensive, indirect, mild substitute for a harsh reality on Indian streets- sexual harassment or public verbal/physical molestation of women. It is unfortunately associated with juveniles whose abuse of girls ranges from indecent remarks to offensive insults to actual physical molestation. The ‘coy’ nature of the term blinds us to its offensive and obscene motives and bullying tactics; it sounds like youthful, innocent fun, but as victims will tell you, it is nothing short of sexual aggression.
Here is an excerpt from Time Magazine, as early as 1960:
Independent India is discovering social problems undreamed of in Mahatma Gandhi’s philosophy. As the caste system and the traditional Hindu family begin to crumble, the barrier between the sexes in India is no longer the formidable fence it used to be. Last week in Agra- where India’s two most famous lovers, the Mogul Emperor Shah Jahan and his queen, lie buried under the Taj Mahal- the Indian Youth Association held a solemn seminar about a new kind of problem: the sidewalk dalliance that Indian youth calls “Eve-teasing”.
Young men say they do it for ‘a bit of fun’, to attract the attention of the girls or just to exert pressure over them, to make them feel powerless and scared. But the girls are often traumatised by such behaviour. They often feel degraded and insulted, even humiliated and shamed; they feel complex emotions of anger, disgust, guilt and anxiety; if the teasing persists, they even become demoralized; they try to run away, escape by using a different route, taking alternative transport or withdrawing from the locality; but they are emotionally bruised.
When will our young men learn the ABC of basic courtesy and civility to the opposite sex? When will they learn to see the young women they harass as their own sisters and cousins, whom they should protect and respect?
ARE THEY REALLY FREE?
Slavery was abolished in the West, as late as the nineteenth century, and the effort to declare every human being as a ‘self-owner’ soon led to a similar movement for women’s rights in Europe. Originally, they campaigned for women’s suffrage and equal rights. But later, they evolved into the first wave feminists, determined to bring about cultural and social changes in a patriarchal society.
Why are we so nervous when women demand freedom?
For many women, freedom means walking, using public places like libraries, restaurants, cinema halls and even roads without fear of sexual assault; this is their basic freedom to exist, live, move without fear; the rest of their freedom components come up after this basic freedom is assured to them.
Many women lament the fact that in India, women are denied the most basic of rights: the right to be born, the right to be fed, to be educated, to go to work, to control their own earnings independently, to inherit property, and even to dress according to their choice.
Just last month, after the impressive display of the Republic Day parade in New Delhi, a very different kind of ‘parade’ took to the streets of the national capital, marching from Mandi House to Jantar Mantar; theirs was a march for ‘Freedom from Fear’.
Worst of all, when women are attacked, abused, molested and raped, we have begun to blame victims. We even go to the extent of saying, “She was dressed in such and such manner; she was being provocative; she crossed the Laxman Rekha,” etc. No wonder then, that young girls protesting against outdated rape laws carried placards which read: “Don’t teach me what to wear; teach your sons not to rape!”
When will we give them true freedom and true respect?
CAN THIS HAPPEN TO A MAN?
Everyone should be treated with due respect and dignity in the workplace. Although harassment at work is not to be tolerated, it is easier to say this rather than see it practised; for most people do not know how to handle harassment by employers and colleagues.
Harassment in any form of conduct that is unwanted, affecting the dignity of an individual in the workplace. Although it may be related to age, race, disability or any personal characteristic of the individual, everyone agrees that the most offensive form is sexual harassment that is overt or implicit.
The number of working women has been on the increase over the last few decades. And many of them face both discrimination and sexual harassment at work.
Discrimination is rampant especially when women come up for promotion, when they are denied legitimate opportunities for training and advancement, and also when they are denied the opportunity to care for a child or dependent relatives. Many women are also denied benefits like maternity leave and simply told to quit their jobs when they ask for leave.
It is estimated that 50% of women in employment are, or have been, subject to sexual harassment in one form or another. This is not just true of women who work in large offices or in a predominantly male working environment; it also happens to people in any occupation, to any age group and from every community. Sexual harassment can be verbal, non verbal or even physical. In most countries, employers are held to be liable for the actions of their employees that cause offence to another employee at work. All organisations need to adopt what is called a ‘zero tolerance’ approach to this insidious practice. Here too, the law is in favour of women; as always, the problem is in the implementation and execution.
More often than not, it is freshers out of college, and young women in the early stages of their career who suffer the most. But many of them do not complain for fear of losing their jobs. Some of them suffer in silence and even face disciplinary procedures for non-performance, while they become stressed and ill with the problems they face.
Unfortunately, technology has created new forms of harassment. Offensive emails and obscene downloads have become common in many offices, along with ‘dirty’ jokes and text messages. And unfortunately, many women labour under the impression that they have to “put up with it all and shut up about it”.
Gender parity and pay parity are still far away for working women. Many of them feel that speaking out will only weaken their existing positions.
