A Voice Coming from Then E-Book

Jeremy Dixon

• Herausgeber: Arachne Press
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 36

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

Jeremy Dixon's first full poetry collection A Voice Coming From Then starts from his teenage suicide attempt and expands to encompass themes of bullying, queerphobia, acceptance and support. Includes unexpected typography, collage, humour, magic, discotheques and frequent appearances from the Victorian demon, Spring-heeled Jack. Content Warning: Some poems in this book deal with themes and expressions of physical and verbal bullying, swearing, homophobia, homophobic language, queerphobia, attempted suicide and suicide. 'A moving, haunting collection that is remarkable for both its startling depictions and visual inventiveness, Jeremy Dixon brings us to the edge and says: 'listen'. I recommend you listen' - Natalie Ann Holborow 'A work of powerful vulnerability and queer resilience... holds difficult material with tenderness, precision and formal playfulness. Dixon's invocation to, 'clap and cheer and cradle your younger self' in a world where 'no system can guarantee safety' unsentimentally, but urgently, extends a hand of experience' - Caleb Parkin 'A rallying cry not just for inclusion but for love, in so many forms' - Katherine Stansfield

Leseprobe

CONTENT WARNING

Some poems in this book deal with themes and expressions of physical and verbal bullying, swearing, homophobia, homophobic language, queerphobia, attempted suicide and suicide.

// a note on content warnings

For me content warnings really work. If I am not prepared then sometimes just seeing the word suicide has an emotional effect. The poems do not go into graphic detail but some of them do include the themes mentioned above. Please feel free not to read any further or to come back later if, or when, you are ready.

// a note on the use of the word queer

Queer is a word loaded with emotional and historical meanings, some people see it as a slur, others reclaim it as a source of pride. I use it in this book to identify those who exist outside of heterosexualism and to embrace wider ideas of strangeness, inclusivity, activism and acceptance.

// a note on the use of italic text

Using italic text in the body of a poem indicates that those words have been quoted from another person or from a book, diary, letter, interview or social media post.

for he who lives more lives than one more deaths than one must dieOscar WildeThe Ballad of Reading Gaol

dedicated to Wednesday 13 June 1979 and to all those who we have lostand to those who remain and to my family

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

casting the runes with Spring-Heeled Jack

wraiths

Sunday School

before the motorway

the friendly

dear Jack

last three months in England

in the back with Spring-Heeled Jack

buddies

bless you hay fever

sidelines

Trojans

Jeremy

13 June 1979 with Spring-Heeled Jack

the recidivist

numbers

a consultant child psychiatrist’s letter…

form tutor

sister

consent

mother

The Uncanny X-Men #134

ode to Bronski Beat in an elevator

student union disco

alternative night

on Choctaw Ridge with Spring-Heeled Jack

where trade began

gentlemen | dynion

Tabernacle Lane

so I asked Donna Summer and she said…

the Editor

heart-shaped

nightclubbing with Spring-Heeled Jack

Tobias and the Angel, 1989-90

Plasturton Gardens

1999 with Spring-Heeled Jack

Paronella Park

how deep they dive

a voice coming from then

outside

blessed vacancies

behind my counsellor’s left shoulder

beginners yoga with Spring-Heeled Jack

the nexus of multiple realities

retired child psychiatrist

at Camp Crystal Lake with Spring-Heeled Jack

I’m learning to shout ‘Oi!’

another Jeremy

The Proscribed Royalist, 1651

im

the Intercession

his fire eyes flame

blister packs

ON THIS DAY…

REMEMBERING…

RESOURCES

NOTES

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

THANK YOUS

INTRODUCTION

On Wednesday 13 June 1979, three months after my 15th birthday, I waited until dad drove mum into Cardiff for her night shift as a Staff Nurse then went into the kitchen and stole the paracetamol tablets she stored under the sink. After taking them I fell asleep on the sofa in my bedroom. I woke up suddenly at about 2am and proceeded to vomit for the next six hours, which is probably why I am still alive today.

This is the note that at the time I didn’t understand myself enough to write…

casting the runes with Spring-Heeled Jack

we are here from the futurewe are here in the past

our demon fingers scraping out your throat

where pills still taste the samestill absorb your teenage spit

so even when you can’t remember your body

be grateful for the gallbladderthat your gut can still pulse

be grateful for a liverstrong enough to cope

be grateful for our gag reflexfor the stomach that overruled

this is a bindingto keep us safe

wraiths

so this is a poem where I meet Anne Sextonwhen I am three years old and lost

I am three years old and lost and she grabs mein the foyer of the Royal Festival Hall in London

Anne Sexton grabbing me when I run awayfrom my mother in the foyer of the Royal Festival Hall

and I run straight into the sheer legs of Anne Sextontalking to men a circle of men around her I run

straight into her legs and she laughsdrops down level with my face and laughs

picks me up and swings me on her hipsswaying on Anne Sexton’s hips as she strides

the foyer of the Royal Festival Hall lookingfor a mother and recognising my mother