Across Time E-Book

Crys Cross

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 423

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2014

Beschreibung

Two women, strangely linked across time, a Pagan priestess, highly trained in the use of uncanny powers, looking for a new home for her people, and a young archaeologist, trying to chart a course for her life and drawn ever deeper into a strange land of visions. Following the priestess on her quest, she walks the path to her own future.

Leseprobe

The writer asserts the moral right that she is the sole author of this book, its contents is her sole intellectual property.

Any copying, editing, printing, or publishing, physically or on the Internet without the prior consent of the author is illegal.

Public readings of this book are only permissible with prior consent of the author.

The author is living in Vienna, Austria, contact may be made by email [email protected]

An Introduction, sort of …

Some books have to be written.

Crazy me, here I sit, writing an introduction for a book of which I am less than sure that I will ever finish it, that anyone will ever read it – but some things have to be written, too.

And time and again, people I met along the way – you out there, yes, you! I am talking about you here! - urged me to write down things I told them, concepts I am using in my own life, concepts other people found useful for their lives.

Why it came down to me writing a novel that is mainly a work of fiction, is one of the mysteries I have no ready answer for. Maybe because I always loved to tell or write stories, they are so much more emotive than dry texts instructing for example in the proper use of elemental symbols. Another mystery for which I have even less of an answer is why I started to write it in English. English is not my native tongue, it is more of a “chosen” language for me. And some of those concepts I mentioned a few lines earlier, I can express way better in English. However, it is still a bit crazy, huh?

Over the years, parts and pieces of the story flickered through my mind, waking or sleeping, forming an arc through time. I beg you to understand, this novel is no autobiographical work, though many things I learned, that sometimes just happened to me, form the underpinnings of the story. As do the people I met, people that have walked the Way with me for a time, people that are still with me after long years.

All similarities to people living or long gone to the Lady are absolutely intentional, but the actions they take or do not take have their origin in my mind, mostly. To protect their privacy, they remain either nameless or got names I invented. Probably a needless precaution – I think many of them will never read these lines. But it is the right thing to do, this is my story, after all, not theirs.

If anyone thinks he or she recognizes himself or herself in one of the characters I have portrayed, you are welcome to do so – but if you do not like what you see, do not blame me. If you like it – well, you can always try to live up to it :-)

My protagonists are still my invention, my way of seeing people, but thanks for lending me images on which to fix the inspiration.

One thing more: if you’re looking for historical accuracy, ’this is not the book you are looking for’, to cite Obi-wan from Star Wars. Sorry, Mr. Lucas, for borrowing that famous line! I really like your movies.

This novel is dedicated to those that promised me to read anything I write – I hope they are up to their promise now :-)

Crys Cross

Vienna, Summer and Autumn 2014

Contents

The Temple on the Hill

Setting things to right

Interlude One

The Words of a Healer

Interlude Two

Fulfilling the Will

Interlude Three

Ships in a Harbour

Before Sunrise

Interlude Four

A Parting

Interlude Five

Another Island

Interlude Six

Walking the Path

The Day of Love and Life

Interlude Seven

A Hope Lost

Interlude Eight

Discoveries

Interlude Nine

A World Ending

Into the Darkness

Interlude Ten

When the Ships Come

Interlude Eleven

The Broken Dream

Interlude Twelve

Guarding the Flame

Survival

Interlude Thirteen

The Dark Years

Interlude Fourteen

In the Lady’s Name

The Temple on the Hill

Setting Things To Right

The old priestess had been up early. Sleep eluded her these days, so she had started to clean up the Temple after last night’s celebrations. Setting things to right that could be righted easily gave her an odd sense of comfort.

Collecting empty dishes and plates, she smiled to herself. When she was young, she had hated cleaning duty with a vengeance, and done her very best to avoid it, much to the dismay of her then superiors and teachers, all long gone to the Lady, years ago. She imagined them looking at her now, nodding their heads, with those wise little smiles on their faces that had infuriated her so much a long time ago.

According to the Rules of the Temple, they could and would never force anyone to do any work a person did not want to do. Now she was the one to smile a sad little smile, when one of the younger girls stalled at domestic chores, thinking of herself as already a great priestess high above any such menial labour, and walking out on her with barely enough courtesy, pretending some other urgent business. They were not punished, the Rules did not believe in punishment as a means of education. The decision rested solely with the teachers, if such avoidance was indicating unfitness for further learning and advancement. These girls were just not selected as personal assistants by one of the fully initiated priestesses, left to such duties as keeping the numerous candles alight and the herbs sorted.

Some never got the hint and left after a while, often under the pretext of being needed at home. Mostly, they came from well-to-do families, which explained their aversion against honest handiwork, and having served in the Temple even for a short while gave them some prestige they could use in ’civil’ life.

She had been one of those that took some time to understand what was going on. For her, leaving had never been an option, even if her family, or what had been left of it at that time, had agreed to it. There had been no home she could have returned to, she had been born to the Temple. This was her home. An old, old hurt flickered over her serene face, if only for a moment.

Brushing the precious cut flagstones of the main Circle room, she let those sad thoughts go for the now, knowing very well that some things could never be set right, only forgiven when enough time had passed. Another sad smile, saying that possibly for her the time that had passed was still too short to think about certain things without the well-known pain stirring. Forgiveness, yes, she had forgiven when she had realized that circumstances and – maybe! - fate had forced the decisions that had set her feet on the path she was still walking. And in a way she feared that she might seem ungrateful, if she ever gave voice to those thoughts, because this path had brought her responsibility, influence, and a respect that bordered on awe. But the Lady Mother knew her heart of hearts, and that had to suffice.

In a few moments, the Sun would come up. Time to put the broom away and take up the Chalice for the Morning prayer. The light of Father Sun would bring her peace and happiness, as it always did since the day she had for the first time consciously acknowledged its radiance and warmth.

The Servants of the Temple, the Healers, the Teachers, most of the students, and a small crowd of townsfolk that had taken it upon themselves to walk the long and winding path illuminated by torches up to the top of the hill, had gathered at the single standing pillar, marking the days of the year by the shadow it cast at midday.

Her voice, still beautiful and strong, intoned the first line:

“Greetings to you, Messenger of the Lord of Life!” in the exact moment the first glimmer of light showed on the eastern horizon, far out on the still dark ocean. Then the other voices joined in and a ringing chorus full of harmony greeted the new day.

The Morning prayer completed, she went to her rooms to dress in garments that were more formal. Today, the day after the Spring Equinox celebration, the Temple was open for new applicants. Families from all over the Island had come to the Town during the last few days, bringing either their newborn children to be welcomed into this world and blessed in the rites held yesterday evening or their older daughters and sons they thought worthy to offer to the Temple.

Most of those children that were accepted received a good education in the Temple school, learning their letters and numbers and the history texts, and a number of them was bright and curious enough to stay on and keep studying one of the venerated sciences or arts, becoming one day the artisans, healers, philosophers, scholars and teachers famed throughout the world.

Some had that certain spark in their souls that spoke of the possibility of a life-long dedication to the Goddess and God and the Temple.

Once, when she had been younger, there had been more of them. The old priestess had wondered about that for some years now, consulting the ancient texts and prophecies, and what the old wisdom indicated was what had her going to bed late and rise early. But no amount of prayer and meditation could calm the nagging fear for the future of her people. The ancient texts were crystal-clear about it: if the Temple failed, there was no future. If there were no more girls and boys carrying the inborn fire-spark and serving in the Temple, or if there were too few of them left, life, as they had known it for generation after generation would come to an end.

When she came to the receiving room, it seemed her fears were nothing more than the maundering of an old woman, sleeping badly due to age creeping on. Over two dozen families were waiting there, attended by younger priestesses and scribes noting down name, home districts, parentage, and age of the applicants.

People stood and bowed when she entered, touching index and middle finger of their right hands to forehead, mouth and heart, in the time-honoured way of a formal greeting.

“Blessings to all that have come!” She gave the equally formal answer and sat down on the beautifully crafted chair set under the opening in the ceiling so that she might have a clear view of the children brought to her.

Family after family was escorted to her, the scribe whispering name and age of each child that bowed to her. Some looked just a little bit frightened, some smiled eagerly, and some were indifferent.

The frightened ones were those that entered the Temple school for learning. Those that were still too homesick after a month were sent back home, free to give it another try when they were older. A child crying in the night cannot hear the words of the teacher by day, an old saying went. For the others, a year of education in the basic skills, then they would be received in the Temple once more to decide what the best path would be for them. Their families went out with them to accompany them to the school that was situated a little lower on the Temple hill.

Those that smiled eagerly were accepted into the Temple proper. Of course, they would receive schooling like the others, but they would also become the little helpers, as they were called, doing messenger duties and other small chores suited to their age and slowly walking the path that led to becoming a Servant. The priestesses asked them and their families to follow them to the living quarters of the Temple Servants, where the children would live from now on in the dormitories, with the children born to the Temple, under the care of those priestesses and priests that had young children of their own.

Those that looked indifferent received a few friendly words and their parents a token to show to their village priestess or priest and a soft admonition to prepare them better, if they wished to present them again. Disappointment showed on the faces of some of the mothers and fathers.

“Life in the Temple is something that has to be embraced eagerly, from the very beginning. It is what the service to our Mother and Father demands, no less. And it has to be embraced by the one entering the Temple, not by his relatives. A parent has the duty to choose the best path for the child, but it is still the path of the child, not of the parent.

One should think very carefully about this, so as not to confuse the paths.”

Disappointment vanished and was replaced by shame, on some faces.

“Leave with my blessing, nothing has been done that cannot be set to right, and who knows what will be at the next Spring Equinox.” Thankful smiles and respectful bows answered her friendly words, and then those families were ushered out.

Finally, only one small group of people was still waiting in the receiving room. A woman, a man, and three girls. Two of them seemed to be too old for presentation to the Temple; the third one looked extremely young and fragile.

“They asked to be the last ones presented,” whispered the young priestess coming before her. “The mother was once a Servant of the Temple, before she left to have a family.” The old priestess recognized the woman after a moment and beckoned her closer. “So you have returned to us after what – twenty-four years?”

“Yes, Eldest. I – we wish to present our youngest daughter.” At a wave of her be-ringed hand, the smallest of the girls came forward, the father following close behind.

“Revered Eldest,” he said, bowing respectfully, “my wife always speaks so highly of her years as a Temple Servant, how happy she had been here and how much there is to be learned, and our child expressed quite – forcefully – her desire for learning and wisdom, more than we could ever hope to find for her in our small hamlet. We could not bring her sooner – she is in her eleventh year now, that is two years too old according to the Rules, I know this well – because of her weak condition, the village Healer strongly advised us against it. He said she might not be strong enough even now, but that this was for you to finally decide.” He bowed again and took a few steps back, stroking the child’s hair softly, as if to console her.

The old priestess looked at the woman. “Happy, hmm? Much to learn?” She smiled a little. The woman had been one of those that left without learning much more than polishing candle holders, despite being distantly related to her and coming from a line of priestesses or maybe because of that, but at least she had now the grace to turn her gaze to the floor and the old woman let the matter drop. What that woman had told her husband about her earlier life was between the two of them. Embarrassing someone needlessly was not the way of the Lady Mother.

When she looked up again, concern and sorrow was in her eyes.

“Eldest, this daughter of mine was born late in my life, when I thought I was no longer fruitful, and she is paying the price for my carelessness. I love her dearly and I have prayed long and hard to find a way to help her. I do not know if this was a true vision or something born of the guilt and sorrow I feel, but I have been told that to let her fulfil her life’s path, I have to give her up.” She sighed, fighting with tears, and whispered: “So be it.”

“Come to me, Child!”

The small girl took a few steps forward and the priestess looked closely. Yes, the child was small for her age. Her most prominent feature was a mass of dark curls that had a reddish glint in the light from above, spilling down to her hips. The child could have been pretty, but the pale face, the dark circles under her eyes and the thin lines of pain around her little mouth, so out of place on a girl that age, made her look sickly. Then she opened her eyes fully and the priestess took an involuntary deep breath. Those eyes, much too big for the small face, had a spark in them that glittered like a ray of sunlight. An answering light started to shine from the eyes of the old woman, a silent understanding passed between the two of them, they could have been alone in the room, so far away had the presence of the other people drifted.

“I have come home, Eldest!” said the girl and the priestess stood up, took her by the hand and -

*  *  *

Interlude One

An insistent Beep-beep-beep woke me up. I tried to ignore it, but it was getting louder and louder. Memory stirred. Oh yes, I had set the alarm clock before falling into bed at four in the morning, because I had an important test in school, one I dared not to miss, because it was my last chance to finish the Chemistry course. I had missed all others, as I had missed much of the last year in school. So I sat up groggily, trying to wake up, but I could not shake free from that intense dream. I had been that old priestess, feeling the pain she had felt when thinking about her childhood, it still made my heart ache. And I had been that small girl, starved for knowledge, hungry for a world of learning, imprisoned in a body that betrayed her time and again. Her unshed tears were burning in my eyes now. I so wished to return to that dream, to see if her sorrow would be replaced by happiness, but I could not.

I had dreamed away, lazed away most of the last three months, driving my teachers to distraction. I was a hair’s breadth away from being thrown out of school, because of the tests and examinations I had missed. It was not that I did not want to learn, I just did not want to learn what they taught in school. It was not that I did not like having people around me, just not the people that were in my class.

Something had happened last spring, something that had ended my carefree teenage years for good, and there was no way I could have come back to school in September as the same person that had left for summer holidays in June. My classmates felt it, those that had made it through the “Great Reckoning” that had happened at the end of the last semester. They were not the ones who had been my friends for the last seven years anyway, but those I never had much to do with. But, even if we had never been good friends, they had known me for a long time now and recognized the difference.

That had not helped in the least. I had gone to school last year mostly, because my friends were there. I still felt guilty. My happy-go-lucky attitude when it came to studying might have been partly responsible why they had not made it through the last grade. I very rarely saw them now, our schedules were too different, our lives had become too different. They were still carefree teenagers; they could not understand, why, in May, I suddenly had chosen to try to pass all necessary exams for admission to the final year instead of repeating with them. I just wanted to get through the last year and leave school for good, but with a diploma that would allow me to enter University. A diploma that would set me free.

So I hastily washed and dressed and left, not even thinking about waking the others. They would not have thanked me for it. I had even slept on the sofa in the living room, so as not to disturb them when getting up.

Somehow, I made it through that damn test, knowing I was good enough to get a final positive grading. I even stayed until school ended at two, despite having slept for three hours only, showing my face to the other teachers, and simply pretending not to hear concerned questions where I had been those last two weeks. Even the most well-meaning of the teachers had almost given up on trying to help me by now, they knew about my “situation”, as it was politely called, that breaking-up of a family that had only existed on paper for years, far longer than it had been a real family.

I also made it back to the flat where I now lived, where the others – my boyfriend, his cousin, and his girlfriend – were sitting at the breakfast table when I came in.

I just gave them a thumbs-up and went to bed. My last conscious thought was that the pain of the priestess had only been a way for my subconscious to express the hurt I did not allow myself to feel when I was awake. Anger had carried me through the last horrible six months, but anger can carry you only so far. I fervently hoped that my interrupted dream would return to me, but of course, it did not.

I got up at five, readying myself for another night shift at the Stardust Club. Everything back to normal, whatever “normal” now meant for me. Or so I thought. However, when I caught myself looking out of the balcony doors, searching for a distant hill on the horizon, with a lone pillar rising from its top, I knew something had changed profoundly – again. And this time, the change was inside myself, not forced on me by persons or situations where I had no say about what was happening.

“Why, you smile! I would never have thought you could be so happy because of a passed test!” my boyfriend joked. I shook my head. “It isn’t that or not only that.”

“Care to talk about it?”

Another shake of the head. “Not now, I have to leave in a few minutes. We left the Club in a mess, this morning.”

He gave me an astonished look. “You’re not telling me you are the one who will do the cleaning?!”

I smiled so hard, my face hurt. “Why not? I am just setting things to right.”

*  *  *

The Words of a Healer

The old priestess was walking down the hill, carefully and slowly, until she reached the House of Healing at the foot. Some healer novices, working in the herb garden, saw her approach. One sped at a full run to the quarters of the Healer eldest, the others bowed politely and asked, if they could be of service to the honoured Mother.

She smiled at them: “Blessings to you, my young friends. A mug of water would be very welcome, and a place to sit and wait, until your Eldest might find the time to speak with me.”

“He is already being informed of your coming, honoured Mother. Please, come with us.” What they pointedly did not ask was her business here.

“Thank you for your friendliness. Let me assure you that all is as it should be. I just need advice in a very complicated case.”

The healers-to-be were too well trained to show any undue emotion, so she felt more than she heard their relief. If the Eldest of the Temple Servants came down in person, it might have signalled near-catastrophe.

No sooner had she been seated in the gazebo in the rosegarden and cool refreshing water with Lemon Mint brought to her, that the Healer eldest appeared.

“The Mother’s and Father’s blessing to you, honoured Mother!” came his formal greeting.

“Ah, stow it! I have to endure that crap all day! I cannot have that from you, too, my beloved!” She smiled and offered her cheek for a kiss.

The Healer eldest, her long-time lover and friend, laughed softly. “Goddess above, You know why I could never love any other woman after meeting this Servant of Yours.” They embraced and he sat down next to her, gazing at her fondly.

“What can I do for you and why did you not send for me to come up to the Temple?”

“You are older than I am, if only by a few years. It is easier for me to walk downhill than for you to come up. And if I am too tired for the walk back, I can let myself be carried and do honour to the poor guys that have to carry me uphill in this unseasonal heat! They will think about this feat as something that might earn them a better life when they are born next time.” She smiled impishly and the staid respectable man, known for his seriousness, broke down laughing.

“Ahhh, my love, you are becoming naughtier with every passing year. Your jokes make even the Goddess and God smile.”

Suddenly, her smile vanished. “I hope so, dearest friend. If I have ever made Them smile, I hope They will reward it by helping now.” She told him about the small girl that had entered the Temple three moon-turns ago. “Something serious ails her, I think it has something to do with her heart. She is so stubborn, she tries so hard. She misses no Morning Prayer, no Midnight Vigil, she is always there. I have known her for only a short time, but - “She fell silent, fearing to raise the old argument between them, the only one they had ever had. It had been bitter and even broken their relationship for a time – her unwillingness to bear a child, until it was too late.

But he, with the understanding that came from a lifetime of bonding, heard in his mind what she dared not say aloud.

“But she is the daughter you might have had, we might have had, if you had decided differently.”

The proud woman, the one everyone held in greatest respect as the centre of their world, lowered her eyes. “What have I ever done to deserve someone like you, my love? I am truly blessed, for I have found the one who knows my heart.” A tear glittered on her cheek like a diamond, her voice was so choked with emotion she almost could not get the words out. But those words needed to be said, finally.

“I will never understand how you found it in your heart to forgive my stubbornness, my false and vain belief that I could not spare the few months needed to carry a child to birth, that my work was too important. I gravely sinned, against the Mother, and against you. I know, you with your great heart have forgiven me, I hope the Mother will on the day of my Last Reckoning.”

“Love of my life, I cannot speak for the Mother, and I think you know Her ways better than anyone else alive on this beautiful world of ours, but I told you this before and I will say it again to you. You were convinced, from the bottom of your heart, that you were needed too much to steer our people through these troubled years after the Great Wave. And maybe, this was true. I do not know, no one can know. You, who have lost so much, gave unstintingly of yourself and held nothing back. Yes, I was hurt by your refusal, because for a time I thought you were refusing me, but then I understood and since then, there is no more hurt. True understanding is the light of the soul. Your priestesses teach this fundamental bit of wisdom even to the smallest child.” He paused and she simply nodded, still unsure of her voice. “So, speak freely, what is in your heart, and if it is within my power, I will do everything to see your wish fulfilled.”

The next day, the Healer eldest sent a novice for the small girl, inviting her to come to the House of Healing. The novice said, his Eldest would be greatly honoured, if he could help her in any way to better fulfil her calling as a Servant of the Mother and the Father. So invited, the small girl immediately accompanied the novice down the hill. To her great distress that novice boy had to carry her, because after the first half of the way she was on the verge of passing out from the simple exertion of walking. He made light of it, telling her that her weight was that of a feather, and he had to carry heavier bags of herbs in the course of his studies which were less enjoyable than she by far. To his gratification, she even had to laugh at his words.

She was extremely wary, just sitting silently before the Healer eldest, fearing another judgement that pronounced her wanting. So he spoke first: “Someone who is very dear to me and, I suspect, very dear to you, Daughter, has asked my help on your behalf, to make sure you can stay at her side as long as you want to.”

An audible sigh of relief, a small smile, a little hand raised, beseeching the man in front of her for help, dark eyes, mirroring a pure soul, speaking of trust rarely given. His heart went out to her.

Two days later, he accompanied her back up the hill. And she was able to walk all the way on her own, albeit slowly. A little bow and a shy embrace, then she was gone, back to her quarters and her duties.

The priestess smiled as she saw this, waiting in the cool shadows of the enormous stones that formed the inner wall of the Temple. He knew she was there, as she had known when they were coming up the hill. With a heavy heart, he turned around to face her. Truth was not welcome everywhere, but with her, only truth was possible.

“It is a wonder and a sign of her inner strength that she has survived as long as she did. I am sure, my colleague at her village did what he could, but you know as well as I that we are sorely understrength everywhere except here in the Town. To keep her alive, we need a full Healing Circle. With care and a lot of rest, we will be able to grant her a life almost normal. She is to avoid any bodily exertion, she needs a lot of sleep and restful duties, like sitting watch at the Hearth Fire. I have given her a dietary plan, for foods she should eat and those she shouldn’t. I also prepared herbal concoctions for her she needs to take every day. And on the day before each New Moon the full circle will work with her, cleansing and strengthening her body. As you suspected, it is a weakness of the heart, and it will grow worse. There is no remedy for that. I am sorry, more than I can say. She will not have many years, but we can make the ones she has good ones.”

Her face mirrored his sorrow, as if she had known what his findings would be, but there was also acceptance. ”The Mother and the Father will make known what They have in mind for her. We will take care of her as best as we can. I would like the three of us to spend as much time together as our duties allow. It would make me more than happy and I hope, this will make up to you a little of what you missed, because you gave your heart to a stubborn woman too full of herself.”

“It will make me happy, too – under one condition.”

Never had he used such a tone of voice with her, she almost could not believe what her ears were hearing. He – setting conditions? For a moment, her pride won, and she straightened her shoulders, taking on the aspects of a statue made of stone. Then, her better self overcame that foolish pride, and she looked human again.

“Please, tell me that condition, I hope I can meet it,” she murmured softly.

The smile on his face was brighter than Father Sun on this Midsummer Morning. So much love was in that smile that she almost cried.

“I am sure you can, my love. Stop condemning yourself for mistakes you might have made in the past. We are here and now and we are together. I will not presume by telling you what our Lady Mother would say to you about your constant self-reproach, but She, who is Love Incarnate, as I have learned by looking into your eyes a long time ago, will wish for Her Servant to be finally happy. This, I know.”

Her tears fell like rain, now, she was weeping openly, unashamed and uncaring who might see it. “You are the Sun of my heart and the Light of my life. My heart and my soul have always known this. Please forgive me that my mind took so long to realize it.”

“Nothing to forgive, my heart. If we truly wish it, Eternity belongs to us. And these years were necessary for us to understand who we are and what our true will is. All is well.”

*  *  *

Interlude Two

“Sorry, Miss, you have get off here – we have arrived at train station.”

What was a train station? The words just did not fit into the scene I just had been in. I shook my head and tried to get my bearings. An elderly man in a slightly rumpled uniform stood before me, a gentle smile on his face.

“Must have been specially long day at excavations, hmm? I have heard, you start at five in morning. Hard work for delicate Miss like you, if you don’t mind me saying.” I minded, I minded a great deal, but his smile was so nice, I just could not be angry with him.

“I am sorry, Sir, I must have nodded off – it really was a long day. Thank you for waking me up, I need to get that train, or I will be stuck here until tomorrow morning.”

“You have half hour until train leaves for Nauplion, and there is small Kafeneion next to station. My cousin makes very good coffee, just tell her, Stannis sent you.”

I thanked him as politely as I could manage, happy that I had caught the bus with the only driver speaking understandable English.

Suited me right, if I got stranded in the middle of nowhere. I should have gone with the others, when they closed down for the day, speaking of going for a swim in Nauplion Bay. But no, stubborn me, I had to stay on and finish that floor plan. All I got for my extra work was a stiff neck from staring at a three thousand five hundred years old stone floor from an impossible angle. That floor had been there for so long, it would be there tomorrow, I shouldn’t have taken the trouble. But maybe that strange day-dream had been my reward. That and a cup of good coffee in a small Kafeneion where only Greek people sat at the small tables. No one from the team. What a relief!

Luck held. No one on the train to Nauplion and during the short walk to the small hotel in the Old Town where we were staying, who knew me and wanted to talk about some detail of today’s work or tomorrow’s plan. I liked my co-workers, we had lots of fun. After all, it was a glorious summer in Greece, and even earnest young scientists could not be earnest all the time, when the air smelled of pine resin and Ouzo and perfectly grilled Souvlaki.

But those snippets and images reaching out to me from the world of my dreams even in broad daylight under the fierce glare of a Greek Summer sun worried me.

Since that first dream after my last Chemistry test, only single images like stills taken from a movie had popped up in my dreams, lasting for a few seconds and then fading away. Maybe, my life had been too busy and my thoughts too troubled to really let them come through. Now, I was working hard, with my hands, every day, but my mind had gradually relaxed during the last weeks, the sun melting the ice around my inner core.

Yes, as a child I had learned that the world of dreams is in a way as real as the world we bodily live in, that it opens up for us sometimes so we may learn things that are necessary to learn, showing us parts of our selves we have to get to know, and at that time I had had no problems with that concept. But this dream? Tears were streaming down my face, like the tears of that priestess. She had finally realized what her heart had known for a long time, and I?

I had lost the one who maybe could have been my soul-mate, the one I had lived with and fought with and left, only to come back after a time, so often none of our friends took our break-ups and reunions seriously any longer. For over a year I had mourned him now, deeply regretting every childish fight. His love?, friendship? had sustained me through the hard year after my family had finally fallen apart.

Truth to tell, most of the fights had not been his fault. If a guy asks you to marry him, you should not answer with a bitter laugh, walking out on him and staying under the radar for two weeks. At that time, I had thought that he should have known better than to ask me “the” question; that he should have known I simply was not ready for it, could not even bear the thought of a family. He had just wanted to give some feeling of security to me, in a way he knew how. He could not read my mind and that was not his fault, it was mine. You should not expect that from someone, not even someone who is very close to you.

Since the day he died, I had closed my heart to everyone. Somehow, I kept on living, somehow, I managed to find a place to stay, never returning to the flat we had shared, not even to get my few belongings. Friends brought them to me, when they came to find me at the University, only to be told to never contact me again, the memories hurt too much, I needed a clean break. Now, as I remembered the pained look on their faces, their arms stretched out to embrace me slowly lowering, I felt awful. They had been hurting as much as I, he had been their friend, too. To Alan, he had been like a brother, they had grown up together, in the same household. Shutting myself away from them, dismissing them from my life, had made them only hurt more.

I had studied hard for my courses, I had attended every single lecture I could, I had gone out with my colleagues in the evening to student cafés and heated discourses about politics, ancient and modern. Some had become friends, of a sort. But my heart had not been in anything I had done. I just went through the motions, until that dream had come to me after an exhausting day in the full heat of a summer on the Peloponnese. She, Who is Love Incarnate, wants us to be happy, the Healer had said.

On that evening in Greece, the sun setting slowly on the glittering Mediterranean, I could finally weep and cry and say a last good-bye. After all, maybe there would come another chance for us in our next life or the one after that. And I could pray to our Lady Mother for the first time after four long years, asking and receiving forgiveness for my harsh renunciation of the belief I had held so very dear as a child.

*  *  *

Fulfilling the Will

A beautiful young woman walked down the steep path from the top of the hill, as the first rays of sunlight marked the beginning of Midyear Day. A few moments earlier, her voice had been heard greeting Father Sun on this special day of festivities and merriment. A young man walked a few steps behind, a young healer-priest by his attire, watching her every move very carefully. Happiness mixed with unease showed on his face. Happiness, because she had chosen him as her companion, more, as father to her children. Unease, because he greatly feared what his beloved mentor, the Healer eldest, might have to say about that. How to explain what he himself did not really understand? Yesterday morning, he had taken her word for it, asking no questions, feeling the most blessed man alive.

“I cannot promise you that our bond will last for a long time in this life,” she had said, “you are very dear to my heart, have been since that day you had to carry me to the House of Healing, and I would very much wish to have you at my side as long as I live. But more often that not, you have worked in the Healing Circle for me. You know about my – difficulties.”

“I will count myself blessed every day I can spend with you. I swear on my heart, I will not ask for more.”

“Do you truly want to be father to my children? For this I know, if we come together this night under the full moon of Midyear, there will be children. I have seen that in a vision granted to me by our Lady Mother.”

Overwhelmed, he had just bowed to her, taking her hands in his.

Now, they were on the way to her adopted parents, the Eldest of the Servants and the Healer eldest, to tell them that they had entered a life-bond and to ask their blessing to proclaim this at the ritual at the end of the day.

Their faces, when they heard the news, mirrored the young man’s feelings. That the young couple was happy, there could be no doubt, they positively beamed with love for each other. That their life-bond could be a very short one was a dark cloud over the future.

The blessing the Eldest gave them was fervent, all her hopes and fears expressed in one heartfelt prayer: “Lady, my Mother, watch over them. Lord, my Father, grant Thy protection.”

The Healer eldest said nothing; he just kissed her on the brow and pulled him into a fatherly embrace. The young healer-priest had been his finest student, working his way through everything he could teach, then going on to be taught by the Temple priests in the less specialized and more powerful ways of working with the energies that formed the lattice of the world.

His attaining of the status of a fully initiated priest that was Healer-trained was seen by many as a possible answer to the bitter lack of young men and women able to do the work of priests and healers that was the foundation of their world. The People of the Way had never really recovered from the catastrophic loss of their best and brightest on the three ships that the Great Wave had taken, the many dead that wave had cost when it had hit the Island a day later.

Over thirty years had passed since those fateful two days, when the world of his beloved had been ripped apart and more responsibility thrust on her that by rights any single person should shoulder.

Her mother and her dearest elder sister had been on one of the ships, their screamed warning that had saved many people on the Island had crippled her heart.

The then Eldest had succumbed to that terrible message, feeling the deaths of every single person on the ships, never waking again from her trance, as had her complete circle that was holding the connection to those sent out on a great and important undertaking, to discover a new home for the People of the Way. They had known for many years that their beautiful island was doomed to sink beneath the waves one day. The visions had left no possibility of doubt, and so the voyage had been launched, against the warnings of some who had felt in their hearts that this had been the wrong moment. But the then Eldest had wanted to go down into the history texts as the one under whose care a new home had been found, and the People had paid a terrible price for her vanity. His beloved whose powers of the mind had been deemed too weak to accompany her family on the voyage was the one that had survived that horrible night with her mind still working fully. A good part of her life had been spent in the futile endeavour to prove her worthiness to people who were past such cares, could no more acknowledge who she had become.

‘Survivor’s guilt,’ the healer, who was to become Eldest of his Order in the years to come, had called it. He had known that there was no remedy for that except the passing of time. But it had also enabled her to overcome any limitations she might have had before. She had held together the People, she had given them back hope and trust and laughter, showing compassion and caring and strength to everyone in need. There had been many. She had never complained and only he had known her dark hours, had heard her weeping in the night. The true miracle was that she had done all this and her heart had never hardened.

And now, in her waning years, when her heart had finally found the peace she had brought to others for so long, a dark shadow loomed. He shivered with foreboding, knowing she knew. “Lady Mother, please, if what I fear has to come to pass, grant us at least a glimmer of hope.”

His silent prayer would be answered in the ritual on the eve of Midyear Day. Every household had sent at least one member to the large town square, next to the fountain that supplied the Town with water even in the driest of summers. When the sun had finally set, candles were lit all over the Town, by carrying flaming lights from the central candle on the square that had been lit from the Hearth Fire high up in the Temple to the houses. It was as if the heavens were mirrored on Earth, hundreds, thousands of glimmering points, their flames growing stronger, turning night into day. Many voices spoke the prayer to the Lady Mother, asking for Her blessing on this night, when She was most near to Her people.

The harmonics from that prayer let the priestesses and priests sink into a deep trance. It was by the visions of this trance that the People of the Way were guided, had been guided for uncounted generations. A vision on a night like this one had told them that they would lose their Island home, another had told them to send out ships seeking a new home, and still another had made a bereaved and insecure young woman Eldest of the Servants.

On this night, what the priestesses and priests saw, brought tears of joy to many eyes: twin stars appeared, sinking slowly down to earth and transforming into two girls, one dark as night, one light as day. They embraced and then parted. Suddenly, one stood on the pier in the harbour, gazing out over the sea. One stood on another island far away, arms outstretched and smiling. Then the vision faded and a collective sigh could be heard, as the Servants came back into their bodies.

As it turned out, the vision had been so powerful that many others beside the Servants had seen the images. In low whispers, people told each other what they had seen. A feeling of hope spread all around. Then the Eldest started to speak.

“We are blessed, because we have been granted a glimpse of a friendly future, in these times when our hearts and minds and souls have been troubled by fear. Let us give thanks to our Lady Mother and keep this hope close to our hearts. She has not abandoned us and never will, if we do not stray from the Way. We will survive, guided by Her Love and our Father’s protection.” She paused and the people gathered in the square responded with the traditional prayer.

“Lady of Darkness, Lady of Light

Heart of the Fire That shines so bright.

Lord of Peace, Lord of Strife

Guardian so strong Who holds our life.

It was You Who kindled the Flame

It was You Who taught us our Name.

Our soul’s home, our life and death,

it is Your Will that lets us draw breath.”

A few intense moments of silence followed.

The the Eldest spoke again: “Let now those who wish to declare they have bonded come forward, so that all may see and bless them. Let us remember, it is these bonds that show willingness to care and trust and love, in these bonds the unity of Mother and Father is celebrated, the love between the Two that brought us all to life.”

A dozen couples came forward, accompanied by laughter and joyous well-wishing and, in some cases, good-natured jokes, when it was a couple that did not go through this ritual for the first time.