Another Chance at Happiness E-Book

Dani Phoenix

• Herausgeber: Dani Phoenix
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Newly independent after a long-awaited divorce from an emotionally abusive husband, LELA is finally following her dreams. She reaches out to her former lover, NATHAN, to inspect her potential B&B purchase. Months later, he appears with startling news of his own impending divorce. Lela grabs at this chance to be with him but soon discovers her insecurities, his guilt, his wife’s underhanded manipulations, and his family’s firm feelings about his marriage and their relationship threaten their chance at happiness.
Trapped in an unfulfilling marriage with a wife who criticizes and rejects him, Nathan struggles with pride and feelings of failure both as a husband and as a father. He willingly sacrifices his own happiness for his boys and his faith; however, the sudden revelation of his wife’s own infidelity gives him the push he needs to seek out his own happiness, with Lela.

Leseprobe

Another Chance at HappinessA DaniPhoenix novel by Daniela Rottmann Morzos

Chapter One

Rolling the stem of her martini glass between her fingers, Lela readjusted her legs, tucking her left underneath her right. Unbidden, her right foot began bouncing up and down to a silent furious beat. She smoothed the front of her long black dress and surveyed the restaurant. The lunchtime crowd marched in quickly like a noisy throng of ants, coagulating in groups waiting to pick up their to-go meals, catching up on office gossip, then heading back out into the street to finish their work day. She pictured the corporate drones carrying heavy leaves, bearing the weight of their duties alone, as they filed out heading back to their offices. She didn’t envy them and was glad to have recently discarded her own leaf, not missing that world one bit.

The waiter suddenly appeared at her elbow, and she jumped a little in her seat. He was young and handsome, barely twenty-five, she guessed.

“Sorry about that. Can I get you anything else while you wait? Maybe an appetizer? Miso soup?”

“I’m good, thanks.” She shook her head briefly, looking toward the entrance for the umpteenth time.

He pointed the end of his pencil at the full martini glass sitting in front of the empty seat across from her. “I can’t believe any guy would stand you up.”

She smiled to herself. He’d been flirting with her from the moment she sat down a half an hour ago.

She’d dated younger men before, but twenty-somethings were just too young. He probably has no idea I’m old enough to be his mother. Most people she encountered guessed her age to be much younger than the forty-five years her driver’s license revealed. She credited her youthful look to her positive spirit, row machine, and exceptional moisturizer.

“Something probably came up. He’s not usually late.” She began digging around in her purse, searching for her cell phone, hoping he’d get the point.

Thankfully, he picked up on her signals and walked away, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She checked to see if Nathan had messaged her, but there were no new notifications. Sighing, she dropped her phone into the side pocket of her purse and gathered her long chestnut curls behind her head, twisting the silky strands together and tucking the ends under to form a loose bun. Nathan was the last person Lela wanted to see but was an essential step to her success.

I’ll focus on the inspection and I won’t tell him about the divorce. Who cares what he thinks anyway? My goals and life are first for a change.

She turned her gaze upward to the strings of blue lights twinkling above her head and followed them across the wooden ceiling down to the fish tank. She’d wanted to take Nathan to this sushi bar back when they were still together. How long had it been since she’d seen him last? Three years now? Their complicated relationship would undoubtedly make things awkward, but he’d been the first person who’d supported her dream, and his inspection business made him an obvious ask. Despite how he’d ended their relationship, she trusted he would give her an honest evaluation. Saltwater fish in varying shades of bright blue, yellow, and orange danced in a languorous rhythm inside the large tank above the bar. She rested her chin in the palm of her right hand and let herself be mesmerized by their dreamy water waltz.

At only nine years old, she’d fallen in love with the idea of opening a bed-and-breakfast after her family had stayed at one in the Napa Valley. A few weeks after their return, she’d gathered up the courage and presented her bed and breakfast business plan, scrawled on several pages of notebook paper, to her father. She could still hear his disdain, telling her what a stupid idea it was, how she’d never make any money. The familiar ache of unworthiness twisted in her chest just as it had on that day.

“Hi. Sorry I’m late. Accident on I-25.” A deep, gravelly voice shocked her out of her thoughts.

She startled, catching the sparkle of amusement in his bourbon-colored eyes. “You scared me,” she said, ignoring the heat of embarrassment creeping into her face.

“I noticed.” Nathan gifted her with one of his wide smiles, the edges of his eyes crinkling at the corners. He slid into the opposite side of the vinyl horseshoe booth and laid his jacket at the bottom of the U between them. He removed his camo ball cap, depositing it on top of the jacket next to him with one hand while rubbing the top of his bald head with the other.

Nathan was twelve years her junior, broad-shouldered, and fit. His biceps flexed under his oversized navy-blue T-shirt as he settled into the seat across from her. Clearly, he was still working out regularly but wasn’t the type to show it off with tight clothing.

He’s teasing me. “You scared me on purpose.” Her forest-green eyes narrowed.

“Sure did,” he quipped.

Some things never change, she mused, smiling softly. “Are you ready for a toast, Mr. Lyons?” She nodded toward the two drinks sitting in between them.

He picked up the glass and eyed it dubiously. “Depends, Ms. Redman.” He sniffed the liquid inside.

“Good gravy, Nathan, I’m not trying to poison you. I know it’s different from your usual beer or whiskey, but it’s a special occasion.”

He eyed her with raised eyebrows. “What are we toasting?”

“I…” She froze. Screw it, I’m going to tell him. Her heart pounded against her sternum.“My divorce was finalized last week.” The words came out in a rush. She raised her glass, briefly taking a sip of her martini before setting it down quickly to hide her shaking hands. She was suddenly extremely interested in the glossy black surface of the table.

“Oh.”

She wondered if he could hear her heart from where he sat across the table.

“Congratulations?”

She lifted her eyes in time to see him finishing his drink in several long gulps.He wiped a stray drop of martini off his two-day-old scruff with the back of his hand.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“I think it’s great. You’ve wanted the divorce for a long time.”

“I meant the drink. Do you like it? Or would you rather have a Sapporo?”

“What’s that?”

“Japanese beer.”

“Yeah, I think I need a beer. Or two.” He was bashful, like an embarrassed little boy—a gorgeous, six-foot-two boy with a Greek nose, square jaw, and long brown eyelashes. She wondered if he was embarrassed about not knowing what Sapporo was or if it was because he knew she was now a single woman.

She smiled and motioned to the waiter. “I want to talk about why I called you, but let’s order first, okay?” They opened their menus and quickly ordered lunch and another round of drinks.

She wrestled with the awkwardness that had blossomed between them. “So. The reason why I called.”

“Yeah?”

She felt the vibrations of his right leg bouncing up and down across from her.“I’m opening a bed-and-breakfast. But before I buy the property, I’d like you to check it over, since you’re in the inspection business now.” Lela paused as the waiter returned with their drinks. “I know I could’ve called someone else, but I trust you, Nathan, and I know you’ll be straight with me.”

He stared at her silently, making the seconds seem like hours. She wondered what he was thinking.

“I’d be glad to look at it for you, Lela. Where’s it located?”

She loved how her name sounded, rolling off his tongue in that deep voice of his. Lay-La. She was used to people carelessly butchering her name. But he never had, not even in the beginning. Scooting around the booth to sit closer to him, she unlocked her phone to pull up the listing. “It’s a large five-bedroom, three-bath craftsman on five acres just a short drive west of Longmont. Can you believe it? Me, a city girl, in the country?” She felt giddy just talking about the property; she could only imagine how it would feel when it was finally hers.

Glancing up at Nathan, she caught his wistful gaze and soft smile. Her face burned. She looked down at her phone again. “It sits between a lake and a huge stretch of open space and only has one neighbor on the right. It’s relatively close to Boulder, the University of Colorado, Estes Park, and Eldora ski resort. I shouldn’t have any problems filling the guest rooms. There’s a two-bedroom bungalow behind the house that I can live in and an outbuilding that could be a garage…”

“Let me see,” he said, gently taking the phone out of her hands before swiping through pictures. He paused on a photo of a large red structure, faded from many years of sitting in the intense Colorado sunshine.

“That’s the barn,” she gushed, touching his arm ever so slightly. She was pleased to note he didn’t flinch or pull away. “I have no idea what I’ll do with a three-story barn.” She didn’t know what to do with all of her nervous energy, so she released her bun, letting it fall apart, her curls settling just below her shoulders.

He chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll come up with a plan, like always.” He handed the phone back to her. “When do you want to do the inspection?”

“Do you have any appointments left next week?”

“How about Monday at around six a.m.? Is that too early?”

“No, it’s perfect. I’ll text you the address right now. Thank you, Nathan. I know this is last minute.”

He winked. “No sweat.”

His phone rang, and he glanced down, the smile slipping from his face. “Hello? Remember, I told you I had a lunch work meeting?”

Lela heard the woman on the other end yelling but couldn’t make out the words.

“Can’t you take the boys to your mother’s? My day is packed…”

More yelling. The muscles in his jaw tightened. He closed his eyes.

“I’m in a business meeting, Mary, I can’t talk about this right now. I’ll call you later.” He shook his head and sighed. “Sorry about that.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” He shrugged, but the tense muscles in his jaw betrayed him.

Lunch arrived. Lela didn’t want to move back to her original spot in the booth, but she did anyway. Their conversation stayed safely in neutral territory, keeping to a discussion about her plans for the inn, their respective children, and how his business was doing. All in all, it was a lovely lunch. When the check came, Nathan insisted on paying, so she let him.

Their lunch now regrettably over, she scooted to the edge of the booth, stood to her full height of five foot four and a half, smoothed out the creases of her black dress, and picked up her coat. He motioned for her to walk in front of him and held the door open for her as she stepped out into the brisk March air.

“Where are you parked?” he asked, helping her with her coat then shrugging into his own jacket, adjusting his cap so the bill sat at the back of his head. His off duty sign.

She pointed to the little pay-to-park lot. The awkwardness between them had somehow returned as they walked across the street. “Here I am,” she said when they neared her BMW X3.

“It was great to see you,” he said, stuffing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, shifting restlessly from one foot to another.

Impulsively, she stepped in close and slid her arms under his jacket and around his waist, fitting perfectly in the space between his feet and his chin, mindfully inhaling his familiar scent—sweat, campfire, and pine trees.

“You too,” she mumbled against his chest, relishing the heat radiating through the thin fabric of his T-shirt.

His arms encircled her for a moment but then quickly released her.

Shit. A pang of sadness hit her. She withdrew, stepping away from him, suddenly feeling the chill of the day cutting through her bones like tiny icy razors. “See ya Monday!” she said brightly, hoping to hide any indication of the turbulent feelings rolling through her. She pressed the key fob to unlock her doors.

His phone rang again, but this time he silenced it.

Lela knew it was his wife, Mary, again, probably demanding to know when he was coming home. “Better turn your hat back around, it looks like Superman’s day just got a lot longer.”

He laughed as he turned and walked across the lot to where his truck was parked.

How she missed that deep laugh. She didn’t know which was harder, having not seen him for three years or seeing him now and having to wait until she could see him again.

Chapter Two

Lela leaned against the side of the barn, out of the frigid breeze, gazing at the beginnings of a lavender sunrise peeking over the jagged tree line. She loved listening to the sound of the swaying branches of the nearby pine trees. The peaceful sound made her think of Nathan. Most things out here reminded her of him—how he loved being in the mountains, hunting, fishing, and camping. She walked slowly back to the main house. The sound of tires crunching on gravel brought Lela out of her thoughts in time to catch the familiar white work truck moving up the driveway. A smile stretched across her face, and she felt her spirits lift.

Climbing the porch steps of the main house, she turned around and waited for him. She spied Nathan’s work boots first as they hit the gravel. He appeared from behind the driver-side door, wearing jeans, a black long-sleeved T-shirt, and a matching baseball cap, both of which had the logo for his business, Lyons Inspections, emblazoned on the front. Making his way around the truck, he opened the passenger-side door and lifted out a large padded tool belt with dozens of different-sized pockets then clipped the heavy belt around his waist. He leaned back into the truck and pulled out his coat and clipboard. Lela bent down to open the insulated bag she’d packed earlier in the morning and pulled out two large thermal mugs of hot coffee.

She watched from the porch as Nathan lowered the tailgate, climbed into the bed of the truck, and removed two ladders from the over-cab rack, placing them on the ground, leaning against the edge of the tailgate. Jumping down, he adjusted his cap and looked up at her, smiling, as he approached the porch where she stood, holding the mugs. Lela held her breath, trying to memorize the moment.

Good Lord, he still takes my breath away, she thought, smiling back. “Soooo… what do you think?” she asked, handing him his coffee.

“Well, the driveway is good. Not sure about the rest since I just got here,” he teased her, taking a sip of his coffee. “Mmm. Damn, that’s good. You remembered how I take my coffee.”

I remember everything. She smiled. “Let’s get inside.” Lela punched in the code to the lockbox that held the key and unlocked the front door, pushing it wide to let him walk in first. Watching him set his coffee on the window ledge of the parlor and fasten a paper mask around his ears to cover his nose and mouth, she continued. “The current owners are elderly so…” She took the mask he handed her, set down her mug on the ledge next to his, and put it on.

“It’s going to need a lot of repairs,” he finished for her.

“Right.” Lela had walked through the main house with the realtor twice already, so the sad state of the wall coverings, worn carpet, and funky smell of old cigars didn’t surprise her. She showed him the parlor, living room, and dining room then up the stairs through each bedroom and bathroom, before finally ending up in the kitchen at the back of the house. The kitchen would need a complete overhaul. Lela wanted to modernize but keep as much of the original as she could.

“I’ll get out of the way and make some calls in my car.”

“Sounds good. I’ll start in the basement, see you in a bit.” Nathan disappeared down the stairs. He joined her outside by her X3 an hour later, furiously scribbling on his clipboard.

“How bad is it?”

He smiled. “It looks like you’ll need to get a plumber and an electrician out here—the pipes aren’t up to code, and the knob-and-tube wiring will need to be replaced. And that’s just the basement.”

“Crap. That made my budget jump.”

“You sure you want to do this, Lela? It’s going to be really expensive to renovate this house, especially to transform it into a bed-and-breakfast.”

“I’ve done my research and planned for the worst-case scenario. I have the settlement from the divorce and the inheritance my mom left me when she passed away last year.”

“Your mom died? I’m sorry, Lela.” His eyes softened, tiny lines of worry and sadness appeared above his brow.

“Don’t worry about me, Nathan, I’m finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do—run an inn and write stories. You can stand down. This girl doesn’t need saving,” she replied, patting the side of his arm.

He laughed. “I haven’t forgotten you can be pretty damn stubborn when you put your mind to something.”

“I’m not a girl who gives up easily, that’s for sure. And hello? There’s the pot calling the kettle black.”

“What?” he asked, eyes smiling.

“You out stubborn me, ‘Mr. I-would-rather-suffer-than-make-a-change’.” Crap, why did I say that?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He set his clipboard on the roof of her X3 and leaned against the car

“Remember when you used to complain about how much stress you were under at the rig? How even though the pay was good, the stress of the job was killing you?” Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!

He sighed and crossed his arms. Lela knew what that meant—he was putting up a wall.

“You used to tell me about how much strain you were under, how anxious you were about being responsible for everyone’s safety in addition to your own. You’d say things like, ‘Baby, this job is so fucking stressful, I need a Xanax.’ Remember that?”

“Yeah, well. It came with the job. I knew that.”

Well, you’ve stepped in it now, might as well finish it. Lela wouldn’t let his granite expression deter her, so she continued. “All your trouble sleeping, and all the time you spent away from your boys? That was killing you too.”

“What’s your point?” His irritation oozed out with every word.

“My point is, you suffered for years for your family, and you never once thought of how you could try to make things better.”

“Well, my mind wasn’t straight with the lack of sleep. And other things. You know that.”

“I know. But when I suggested you start up an inspection and appraisal company, you balked at the idea. Why?”

Nathan uncrossed his arms, gesturing sharply as he spoke. “We talked about how losing my first business was one of the lowest times of my life, Lela. And when was I going to have time to start a business anyway? I couldn’t just quit my job. How would I support my family? I didn’t see how I could pull it off.” He took off his cap, setting it on the roof next to the clipboard, and rubbed his face with both hands.

Why did I start this stupid argument about the past?

“What changed?” she asked softly.

He replaced his cap, this time setting it backward on his head. “I did a sleep study and found out why I couldn’t stay asleep. I did what the doctor prescribed, started sleeping better, and my brain quit feeling so fucking fuzzy. I thought about what you said. About how I could adjust my work schedule around the boys, and how I could teach them the business when they got older. How I could start slow. It was a smart idea.” He shrugged and gave her a sheepish smile. “On my days off and when the boys were at school, I took the classes I needed online and received my certification. I got the business up and running and eventually quit when I had enough money to pay for insurance and float me for several months. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would, to be honest.”

“I always knew you could do it, Nathan. I can only imagine how hard it was for you, to take that leap of faith again. I’m so proud of you.” She could hear her love for him sneaking out into her voice. Crap. Here I go again, saying too much.

Nathan looked down at his feet, shifting his weight and shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Ugh, now I’ve made him uncomfortable. Stupid cheerleader at it again. She reeled in her emotions and changed the subject. “So, what else needs to be addressed here in the main house?”

He looked back up at her, clearly relieved about the change in topic, and picked up his clipboard. “I need a couple more hours to finish up, then I’ll get back to you with the full report. Is there any more coffee?”

She smiled. “There’s a carafe of hot coffee in the insulated bag on the counter in the kitchen. And if you’re hungry, there’s a warm breakfast burrito wrapped in foil.”

Nathan chuckled. “You know me so well.” He headed back inside.

Yes, I do. Wearing a small smile, Lela opened the door of her car to warm up and make the rest of her calls.

A little over two hours later, Lela headed back into the house in search of her wayward inspector. “Helloooo? Nathan? Where are you?” She felt a chilly breeze and followed it to an open window. “Hey, Nathan, are you out here?” she yelled.

“Yeah. I’m just finishing up outside. I’ll be a few more minutes,” his voice bellowed over the wind.

“I’ll be in my car with the heater on. Meet me there.”

“Okay.”

Fifteen minutes later, Lela watched Nathan carry his ladders around to the front of the house one by one, laying them against the railing of the porch. He went back around the house for a moment before materializing again, clipboard under his arm, and walking over to her SUV.

“Fuck, it’s cold up on the roof,” he said as he settled into the passenger seat next to her, blowing into his hands and rubbing them together.

“Let me crank up the heat for you—is your seat on? Can you feel the heat?” She felt a familiar burn in her cheeks. My damn dirty mind.

A sly smile appeared as his eyes scanned her face. “Yeah, I can feel it.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then why are you blushing?” he replied.

Her skin burned hotter, spreading down her neck. “You’re not supposed to be pointing that out, you know.”

“Sorry,” he said, not looking sorry at all.

Lela needed to change the subject, and fast. Sitting in tight quarters with him, she could smell his intoxicating scent, and her body was responding in kind. “What’s the damage, Mr. Lyons? How bad is the main house?”

He flipped through the papers on his clipboard. “Here’s the quick and dirty on what needs to be done. The shingles need to be replaced on the roof. I’d consider adding some insulation up there. Replace the windows with double paned. The foundation looks good. Whoever built this place made sure they did everything they could to build a solid home,” he said reviewing his notes.

She exhaled in relief. “That’s good to hear. Anything else?”

Nathan listed a few other items as Lela took notes on her phone. “Let’s go check out the bungalow next,” he said, motioning toward the back of the property.

A caretaker’s bungalow, also built in the craftsman style, was situated about a hundred feet behind the larger house. The small one-story house, which looked like it must have been neglected for decades, sat beneath two ancient overgrown oak trees. Lela and Nathan walked across the lawn together in comfortable silence. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her it was almost lunch time since she’d been up since five o’clock. She pulled her phone out of the pocket of her coat and checked the time. Ten thirty. She’d have to eat soon. “Once I get you settled over here, I’m going to head into town to pick us up some lunch. Do you think you’ll be hungry in an hour or so?”

“You don’t have to buy me lunch, Lela, especially since you brought coffee and breakfast. That burrito was awesome, by the way. Did you make it?”

“I did.” She beamed proudly.

He smiled back at her. “I figured you did, that thing was massive.”

“I had a feeling you’d run out of the house and not eat anything.” She shrugged.

“You were right.”

“Hmmm, one of the many things I’m right about”.

Nathan winked at her. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

They climbed the squeaky porch steps, which would clearly need to be replaced. The windows to their left were boarded up tight. Lela retrieved the key from the lockbox. Neither Lela nor the real estate agent could manage to open the door on either occasion they’d visited before, so Lela had only been able to peek through the dingy windows. She’d caught a glimpse of a small living and dining room area but couldn’t see much else through the dirt and the darkness.

“Here’s the key, but we haven’t been able to open the door yet…” Lela twisted the key in the lock and shoved at door ineffectively.

“Here, let me.” Nathan used his body weight to shoulder the door open. He reached for a switch to turn on a light. “We’d better put on our masks again—you still have yours?”

She nodded and pulled the mask from her pocket, situating it over her face, then followed him inside. “Wow, it’s bigger than I thought it would be,” she said, glancing around, eyes wide.

To the left of the foyer where they stood was a dining room with two broken windows and what she hoped was the original built-in buffet that would’ve held the homeowner’s precious china and breakable glassware. The colonnade separating the room from the foyer was a classic square design. The original casings and baseboards were intact, and she was suddenly very glad no one had disturbed this place. Her heart would’ve broken at the sight of an “updated” house with all of its charm wiped clean.

Situated next to the dining room, the kitchen and nearby breakfast nook were virtually untouched except that all the appliances were gone—not that she would’ve kept them anyway. The layout wasn’t functional; it would have to be gutted. She could already picture the renovated space. Hmmm. If I tear down the wall separating the dining room and kitchen and use the space in the nook, I could put in an island.

She walked out of the kitchen and into a hallway that extended from the foyer to the back of the house. Across from the kitchen and dining room were two other small rooms, also separated from the hall by colonnades. She hoped she could combine the cramped spaces to create a nice-sized living room.

Lela continued down the hall, discovering two bedrooms. The larger of the two was situated at the back of the house with a beautiful view of Longs Peak, a rare walk-in closet, and an en suite bathroom. The smaller bedroom, which she decided would be the guest room, had a window that provided a nice view of the lake and the barn. The second bathroom opened off the hallway between the two bedrooms. Both baths boasted original fixtures, clawfoot tubs, built-in medicine cabinets, and pedestal sinks.

“Hey.” A deep voice behind her made her jump. She squeaked.

Nathan’s shoulders shook as he tried to hold in his laughter. “I’m going to start in the basement again, see you in a while.” He turned and disappeared through a door she hadn’t noticed before, off the hallway just after the entrance to the kitchen. She heard his heavy footsteps descend the stairs.

Lela wandered from room to room again, typing more notes into her phone. When her stomach protested loudly, she headed toward basement and yelled down to him, “Hey, Nathan? I’m driving into town now. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay. Would you mind picking up some water?”

“Absolutely. Don’t get lost down there,” she teased him.

“No promises. Hope you know how to run a winch,” he shot back.

“So I can haul your ass back up the stairs?”

She smiled as his laughter echoed up the stairs.

Lela spent more time in town than she’d initially intended and rushed back to the property with a hot lunch and several bottles of water. She entered the bungalow, yelling in no particular direction since she had no clue where he was in the house. “Nathan? I’m back. Wanna take a break for lunch?”

Silence. Lela headed back out the front door to look for him outside. The ladders were laying on the ground, so he wasn’t on the roof. Good gravy, where has he gotten off to? She knew he wouldn’t be able to get in the barn because it had a lockbox like the other buildings. “Nathan?” she called.

A moment later he walked out from the grove of trees between the lake and the barn. What in the world was he doing out there? Lela put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side as he approached. “Looking for a good fishing spot?”

He shook his head. “No, but that’s a good idea. I’ll have to do that later if there’s time.”

“Then what were you doing out there?”

“Um, none of the bathrooms work, Lela.” There was that sly smile again.

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” She blushed.

“Comes with the territory. I’m starving. Did you bring lunch?”

“Sure did! And water, as requested.”

Lela opened the window in “her” bedroom, spread out a blanket on the floor, and laid out the lunch while Nathan considered the view.

“I could look at that view all day,” he said, a trace of wistfulness in his voice.

“Me too. I can’t wait until the summer, when I can keep the windows open and hear everything—the breeze, the birds. I hope I’ll be able to hear the water from here.”

He removed his cap and jacket and sat down on the blanket across from her. Several containers of food—pasta and Caesar salad, cut vegetables and hummus, freshly fried chicken strips, and mashed potatoes with brown gravy—were spread out between them. “This looks amazing, Lela, you didn’t have to go to so much trouble for me.”

Yes, I did. It may be the last meal we share together. “I like to have all my bases covered.”

She handed him a thick paper plate. Picking up the serving spoon, he piled the plate high with some of everything then wiped the spoon with a paper napkin and passed it to her.

“Thanks.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes, too ravenous to talk.

“So, how does this place look?” Lela asked.

“Same story out here as with the other house. I’ll write you a full report and email it to you in a few days.”

“Well, at least it’s consistent. What do you think about removing the wall between the dining room and the kitchen?”

“It’s not a load-bearing wall, so you could totally do that.” Nathan took a sip of water.

“What about combining the little living room with that room next to it?”

He finished chewing and swallowed before replying. “It’s a good idea. You could put an arch between the rooms, and it’ll feel more open.”

Lela clapped her hands together. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“What other ideas are you thinking about?”

They finished eating while she explained her plans for the bungalow. When he was done, he gathered their plates and began packing up the containers.

“You don’t have to do that,” she said.

“I don’t mind; let me help you.”

She shook her head, smiling. “All right.”

A few minutes later Nathan put on his cap and jacket. “I better get going and tackle the barn. The sun sets pretty early, and I want to make sure I have enough daylight.”

“Will you close the front door for me please? I’ll get the barn unlocked.”

He grinned. “Sure, no problem. See you in a bit.”

Even though the cost of renovating both buildings would deplete her entire inheritance and empty out most of her savings, she still wasn’t swayed from buying the property. Finally seeing the inside of the bungalow convinced her that she was doing the right thing.

Lela walked across the unkempt grass to the barn. The three-story faded red structure sat closer to the lake and the county-designated open space. There’s a lot of potential here, she thought, potential for… what?

Birds chirped their final songs of the day while the sun made its steady descent. Its late afternoon rays cast a warm spotlight across the barn, illuminating its sad state. Lela unlocked the door and pushed it down its track with both hands, opening the stale, musty space to the fresh air. She found a light switch along the left wall and flipped it to illuminate the long-forgotten—and thankfully empty—stalls.

About two hours later, Lela sat cross-legged on a lonely bench in the middle of the barn floor watching Nathan climb down the long ladder that led up to the second-story loft.

“What do you think, Superman?”

Nathan gave her a lopsided smile. “I’ve missed hearing you call me that.” He made some notes on his clipboard.

Lela wanted to slap herself for letting that slip again. Superman. Her nickname for Nathan. She’d had no clue in the beginning how well it suited him. Raised in the country, with conservative values, he was reserved, unassuming, and preferred to keep to himself more often than not. He told her early on that he felt more at home in the wilderness, hunting or fishing by himself, than with a big group of people. His tall frame was muscular and strong from years of intense manual labor. And, just like Superman, he was always quick to “save” anyone that needed help, even going so far as marrying a girl to save her from a bad family situation.

Nathan strode toward her. “I think it’s got good bones. Of course, there are few things that need to be addressed right away, like the roof…”

She stood and walked alongside him toward the front of the larger house, listening but noticing a definite lack of warmth in his tone now, less friendly, and more businesslike. Me and my big mouth.

“Thanks again for making a special trip for me, Nathan. I really appreciate it.”

“No sweat.” He outlined a few more things that would need to be fixed. Twilight descended around them.

“Crap. I need to pay you for today! How much do I owe you?” She turned toward her car, intending to get her checkbook.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re the one that gave me the idea to start this business in the first place, and you fed me breakfast and lunch. I owe you one.” He smiled sweetly, his eyes crinkling at the corners, as he handed her the preliminary paperwork. “I’ll email you the final write up in a few days.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind…” She waved her hand toward her car. Just a few more minutes… please?

“Nah, it’s all good. It’s getting late, I better get going,” His hands were stuffed in his pockets again, and he shifted from one foot to the other.

She exhaled slowly, fighting the tears prickling behind her eyes. “Oh. You want to get home to… Well. Good night, Nathan,” Lela said softly.

“Night.” He walked over to his truck and climbed inside.

She watched as he drove away, waving even though she knew he couldn’t see her in the dark.

“I guess that’s it,” she said wiping away her tears.” I don’t need Nathan—or anyone else, for that matter.

Suddenly the perfect name for her bed-and-breakfast popped into her head. She smiled, cocking her head to the side, and addressed the house: “Hello there, Wildbow Inn. You and I are going to do wonderful things together.”

Chapter Three

Lela spent the next six months focused on renovating the buildings. She fell into bed every night completely exhausted, limbs sore and mind spent, yet she welcomed the distraction. It kept her from thinking about Nathan.

She planned and shopped with delirious abandon, while a team of contractors bobbed and weaved throughout the inn and bungalow. They updated the roofs, windows, electrical, and plumbing and removed the old wallpaper, paint, carpet, and tile. Once that stage was complete, another team updated all of the bathrooms and installed a commercial-grade kitchen and brand-new oak wood floors in the inn.

At the bungalow, they tore down the walls separating the kitchen, dining room, and the two small rooms that would become her living room. New replica colonnades were installed with an arch to support the beams above. They updated the bathrooms and installed new maple cabinetry and a custom island in the kitchen. Both houses’ kitchens and bathrooms received new black-and-silver-chipped quartz countertops. She hired restoration specialists to bring the inn’s wainscoting, casings, built-ins, and doors back to their original glory and had them stained a deep mahogany.

All the interior walls at the inn were painted a soft caramel suede; however, each guest room had its own theme and color scheme. The common rooms were decorated in a farmhouse chic style with a vintage nod to the house’s origins. Outside, the stucco was painted a smoky gray, and the trim a bright white. The new front door was painted a cheery apple-red to match the Adirondack chairs and swing on the porch.

The bungalow’s exterior was finished in the same fashion, but the interior was decorated a bit differently from the main house—its woodwork was painted bright white, while the walls were given a twilight-gray suede treatment throughout. To save money, Lela painstakingly sanded and stained the floors herself. She loved the rich, natural-looking tobacco-brown finish that gave the home a rustic feel. The stainless-steel appliances were due to arrive in the next week.

She was proud of what she’d accomplished in such a short time. Most of her energy had gone into furnishing and decorating the inn, so her poor little bungalow would need some more love and attention in the coming weeks. Her apartment lease was up on the fifteenth of September, so the move into her new home was imminent. Most of the furniture she needed would come with her, but she had her eye on a few special pieces to splurge on.

* * *

Two weeks later, on an unusually warm late-September night, Lela was waist-deep in a lower kitchen cabinet, laying down shelf paper, when a loud knock on her front door made her jump and bang her head on the drawer above.

“Ouch!” She was in a bad mood already, and the pain in her head didn’t help things. Crawling backward out from the cabinet, she stood and padded barefoot across the newly polished wood floor. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and looked down. Both her black tank top and jean shorts were filthy. She tried to shake off some of the dust as she strode to the door.

Lela opened the door to reveal a bashful-looking Nathan standing on her porch. Her jaw dropped, and a surprised “Oh!” was all that she could manage. She immediately felt heat gathering in her cheeks. Dammit.

“Hi,” he greeted her. “You’ve got a little dirt on your nose.” He reached out and swept his fingertips down the tip of her nose, making her shiver.

“Hi,” she echoed back dumbly, thoroughly shocked to see him standing there. Wow. That sounded stupid. Get it together, Lela!

He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. “Can I come in?”

“Oh. Sure.” She stood back from the doorway.

“Nice door.”

“Thanks. I found it at a salvage shop in Denver.” She looked around her living room. It was still a huge mess; the sectional was covered in boxes and laundry. Shit! Her bras were layered over the back of the couch, hanging down in plain sight.

“The place looks amazing. You’ve done a lot of work.”

“Sorry about the mess, I’m still unpacking and trying to figure out where everything’s going.” She moved away from the living room—and the bras—and directed Nathan to the new island in her kitchen, pulling out two of the black cross-back bar stools. She motioned for him to sit.

“I’m sorry for just showing up and not calling.” His right leg began to bounce. Apparently he was as nervous as she was.

“Do you want anything to drink? Water? Iced tea? Or something stronger?” she asked with a smile. Please say something stronger.

“Wine?”

Thank God. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

She pulled two of her large wine glasses out of a moving box and placed them on the island. Heading into the pantry, Lela grabbed a bottle of her favorite red blend. Well, it used to be his favorite too; she wondered if it still was. She’d tried to find another brand that suited her as well as this one, but she just couldn’t settle on one that made her as happy—much like the men in her life after Nathan. Okay, don’t even go there. Concentrate on opening the bottle and pouring the wine into the glasses.

“So, why are you here? To be perfectly honest, I didn’t expect to ever see you again.” She filled the glasses and set his down in front of him before taking a long sip from her own.

“Why didn’t you think you’d ever see me again?”

“Nathan. Don’t look so surprised. We haven’t communicated in ages. And, apart from the inspection, it’s been over three years since we’ve been in the same room with each other.”

“That’s not true,” he argued. Nathan lifted his glass and quickly gulped down half its contents.

“In the beginning, after we broke up, you said you’d try to be friends. Sometimes you’d respond to my emails and we’d have amazing, deep conversations. Things would be great, but then suddenly you’d stop replying. Or you’d write some long email about how you couldn’t give me what I needed, that I should find someone who could make me truly happy. Then there’d be silence until you’d pop up again saying you missed me. I don’t even remember the last time we emailed back and forth before I contacted you about the inspection,” she said, topping off his glass. She turned her back to Nathan and began moving around the kitchen, aimlessly wiping at the dust motes on the countertop.

“Lela. You know why I couldn’t talk to you. Why it’s hard for me to write you.”

Walking back to the island, she sighed and plopped down on the stool to his right. “Yes, Nathan, I know. You feel guilty and need to keep your mind straight, meaning you have to bury your feelings for me. However, as hard as you try, you can’t bury them deep enough. You can deny it all you want, but I know in my heart it’s the truth.” She avoided his gaze and stared down at her glass, rolling the stem between her fingers, and watching the ruby-red contents swirl around the bowl.

“Lela, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” He straightened, put down his glass, and turned to face her.

That got her attention. Her stomach knotted.“Look, Nathan, you didn’t need to come all the way out here to tell me what I already know, and besides, it’s a moot point anyway.” She took another big sip of wine.

His mouth dropped open slightly. “Wait. You’re with someone?”

She frowned and carefully set her glass down. “No, Nathan, there’s no one else. And if I have to hear your lecture again about finding someone that makes me happy, I’m going to scream.”

She wasn’t sure if he thought her frustration was funny or what, but it irritated her to see the smile on his face and a new light in his eyes. “I’m not joking, Nathan. Quit looking so damn happy.”

“Baby, I…” he began.

Wait. What? Baby?! He hasn’t called me baby in forever…

“I tried forcing myself to forget you, but…”

Lela stood abruptly, grabbing the can of Pledge and the rag she’d been using to polish the new maple cabinets. She sprayed the nearest cabinet door and started to wipe in small, quick strokes. “Why do we have to rehash this again? I did what you asked, what was best for you… I let you go.” Exasperated, she turned back to him, fisting her hands and setting them on her hips. “Why are you here Nathan?”

He walked over to where she stood, rigid. “I thought if I stopped talking to you, I’d finally be able to get over you. But I just… I can’t do it.”

She backed up two steps and braced herself against the countertop. “What does that mean exactly?”

He moved forward until he stood directly in front of her again, this time reaching for and holding her right hand with his left. “I want us to get back together, you know, like before.”

“No, Nathan. I refuse to be your sexual and emotional jockstrap.” It was out of her mouth before she had a chance to think it through.

“Oh.” He released her hand and walked back to the island. Taking a seat, his shoulders slumped, and he looked down at his empty wine glass, his gaze fixed on the rim.

Damn those sad eyes. Lela could see how crushed he was. It mirrored her own hurt. “I’m not going back to being the Band-Aid for your problem anymore. Your ‘problem’ is sitting at home—she’s why you found me in the first place. She’s the one who rebuffs you, complains about things she knows you can’t change, and refuses to talk about sex because it offends her. It’s not my fault the two of you aren’t a good match, or that your stubborn male pride won’t let you divorce her.”

“I—”

She cut him off. “You told me in the beginning you’d never just stop talking to me. But you did. And you know what’s worse? When you come back and we pick up like you never left, and it’s so good, being with you, feeling our intimate connection again. Even after we stopped seeing each other in person, our emails kept the connection going between us. Remember when you said that you wished you could just have a fuck buddy and then things wouldn’t be so complicated?”

When he started to respond, she put her hand up to silence him.

“I told you a fuck buddy wouldn’t be enough for you, that you needed the connection, the intimacy you lacked at home. I told you I knew I was right because you insisted that I couldn’t look away from your eyes when we were together. I knew how much you missed being touched in a loving way, whether it was a gentle caress or just being held. How you craved seeing the joy in my eyes when I first saw you again. Do you remember what your response was?”

He nodded, a trace of a smile on his lips. “I said you had me to a fucking T.”

“That’s right. And a few days after acknowledging that truth, you disappeared again,” she fumed, waving her arms to punctuate her words.

“Remember how I used to tell you I could never say no to you, Nathan? Well, here I am telling you no. I don’t want to be the other woman again. It used to be enough for me, but not anymore.” Tears of anger and regret began to fill her eyes, but she didn’t care. Let him see my tears. He deserves to see how much he’s hurt me.

Her voice trembled. “I gave you so much of myself, more than I’ve ever given anyone in my life, and you threw it away without a second thought.”

“But I apologized for that… I was trying to do right—”

She interrupted him again, anger rising hot inside her. “Yes, for the millionth fucking time… I KNOW you won’t leave your wife. For the boys… For God. I know how much you hated growing up in a divorced family, how you don’t want that life for your boys. I know you want to do what’s right for them, even though it makes you miserable. What I don’t understand is, while it was important for you to do things ‘the right way’ for everyone else, what about me? Did I not matter at all to you? It’s not like you weren’t fully aware of what we were doing. You answered MY ad, remember?”

“Yes. I did. But—”

“I tried dating after each time you left me. I tried, dear Lord, I tried… for months. Well the joke’s on me. I couldn’t do it—funny, right? It felt like I was cheating on you. Ha! The cheater that didn’t want to ‘cheat’ on the man she cheated with! Maybe funny isn’t the right word—maybe it’s ironic. Maybe it’s my self-induced punishment for cheating in the first place… or maybe it’s just because I loved you.” Her voice shook as the tears streamed down her face.

He stood; the frustration clear on his face. “Lela, dammit, let me explain!”

She continued, rushing to get the words out before Nathan left again. He needed to hear this part as much as she needed to say it. “I don’t want to be something you keep hidden, something that makes you feel guilty. I want to hold your hand or kiss you in public. I want to know your friends, your family, and your precious boys. Nathan, you aren’t the only one that wants to do things the ‘right way.’ I want it too… with you.” She choked on a sob.

His face paled, and he stepped back as if struck. “I’m so sorry, Lela,” he said, voice breaking. She felt his genuine sadness and regret wash over her. “You’re right. This was a huge mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. I should go.”

And just like that, Nathan walked out the door, leaving her alone with her tears and a broken heart. Again.

Chapter Four

“A toast to the Wildbow Inn!” Lela said proudly, holding up her glass of champagne.

Her children smiled and cheered, lifting up their own glasses. They’d surprised her by coming home the last weekend of September to help her celebrate the soft opening of the inn. She couldn’t believe they were all adults now.

“Mom, the place looks great! I love my room,” Alexander said as he served himself a heaping pile of Chinese takeout.

“Thanks, big kid. I put you in the Manhattan Room because I knew you’d appreciate the minimalist decor.” The room boasted white walls, black leather, glass, potted white orchids, and crisp, clean lines.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” Alex was her twenty-four-year-old middle child, but he never fit the middle child stereotype. Always in a bit of a rush, he was a go-getter and loved new experiences. Lela considered her six-foot-four man-child, whose dark-brown hair always seemed to be just a little too long for her liking. He was finishing up his last year of college on the east coast. When he graduated, he would hold two degrees—a bachelor’s and a master’s in mechanical and aerospace engineering.

His blue-green eyes blinked at her. “Where did you the idea for the name Wildbow?”

“The property sits at the corner of Wilderness Road and Rainbow Way, so I took the first part of Wilderness and the last part of Rainbow, and… voilà!” Lela explained as she served herself some chicken and vegetables.

Lela’s daughter, Kaitlyn, smiled and shook her head. “Only you could find a place on a road called Rainbow Way. Or did it find you?” She winked.

Her daughter knew rainbows held a special place in Lela’s heart. Especially in the last few years, when they’d given her hope at her lowest moments. She thought of them as God’s way of telling her not to give up, that everything would be okay.

“Seriously though…” Kaitlyn’s expression sobered, her hazel-green eyes shining with emotion. “Mom, I’m so proud of you. We all are,” she said as her brothers nodded along.

She would be leaving for her first fashion marketing job next month. New York was far away, but Lela knew it was what was best for her. She was five nine and thin, with dark caramel-brown hair cut in a modern and edgy style that would fit in well in the city. As the youngest, one might think that she would be spoiled and coddled, but nothing could be further from the truth. Twenty-two years old and already a strong woman in her own right, Kaitlyn was choosing to follow her own path, utilizing the business and fashion marketing degrees she’d recently earned to obtain a coveted position with Tory Burch in the Flatiron district. Lela couldn’t be more proud.

“October in New York City, I’m so jealous! I’m gonna miss you like crazy, you know.” Lela had raised all three of her children to leave the nest; it was bittersweet, but she was excited for them to start these new phases in their lives.

“I know, Momma. Me too. You doing okay?” Kaitlyn asked as she piled food onto her own plate.

“Sure. Why do you ask?”

Kaitlyn shared a look with her brothers before turning back to her mom. “You’ve seemed sad for a really long time. I thought after the divorce you’d look happier. Are you… dating yet?”

“I haven’t had time with the move and renovating the inn.” Lela looked down at her plate, hoping to avoid further discussion of her love life—or lack thereof.

“Mom,” her daughter chided, pointing her chopsticks at her, “you need to get out and meet people.”

“I know, honey. I will. Eventually.”

The truth was, she could’ve made time to date, but Lela still only wanted Nathan. Her thoughts drifted to him many times a day—wondering what he was doing, if he was happy, and if he thought of her.

“Mom, I’m serious. You’re hot. You can’t waste that.” Kaitlyn winked at her before digging back into her food. Her sons groaned from across the table—they didn’t want to talk about her love life either.

Lela laughed. “Okay, well, since you put it that way, I’ll get right on it.” Hoping to steer the conversation to more comfortable territory, she switched topics. “How do you like the Spa Room?”

“I love it! It’s so airy and relaxing. Good call on the spring-green color and the lake view is gorgeous,” her daughter responded between bites of food. “But I didn’t miss that you’re trying to change the subject.” Kaitlyn gave her a pointed look but let the subject drop.

“Tristan, what about you?” Lela asked, turning to her oldest child.

“What about me?” Tristan was an introvert, much shorter than his younger brother, but with the same mop of dark hair and blue-green eyes. He designed video game apps to fund his tuition and was in his last year of his bachelor’s degree in software development. She called him her “slow-to-boil” child. As a child, he’d always taken longer to hit emotional development milestones than his peers, but he was very intelligent. He taught himself programming and saved the money he earned to put toward his education. When other boys his age were graduating college at twenty-two, he’d just begun at twenty-six. Her ex railed against his lack of maturity and the fact that Tristan still lived at home with him, but she’d known Tristan would get there eventually—and he had. Several big software companies were now courting him to work for them after graduation.

“Do you like your room?”

“Yeah, it’s cool. What’s the name of it again?”

“The Colorado Suite. It’s not too over the top, is it?”

“I don’t think so?” He shrugged. “I like the log furniture.”

“And the colors are okay? I pulled the red, yellow, green, and navy from the wool blanket on the bed.”

He shrugged. “They’re fine, I guess. I really like the fireplace.” Tristan popped what was left of his egg roll into his mouth.

“Aww man! He got a fireplace?” Alex complained as his older brother smiled widely at him.

Lela chuckled at her sons’ bickering. Just like old times…

“Alex, you can stay there the next time you come out,” she promised, putting the argument to rest.

Their conversation eventually lapsed into a comfortable silence as they all focused on their food. A few minutes later, they cleared the table and brought the dishes to the kitchen. Lela started loading the dishwasher while her children put the leftovers away in the fridge.

“Hey, Mom, can I ask you a question?” Kaitlyn asked hesitantly.

Oh boy, this sounds serious. “Sure. What’s your question?”

“What really happened between you and Dad? I know you both weren’t happy for a long time, but when did you stop loving each other?” she said quietly, looking away.

“It’s complicated, honey.” Lela sighed.

“Is it, Mom? You stopped loving Dad. You asked for a divorce. That’s it,” Alex huffed, turning his back to her.

Lela crossed her arms. “Actually, it is complicated, Son. I know it’s hard for all of you to understand because none of you have had a serious relationship yet, so I’ll do my best to explain. This is going to be hard, but you three are old enough to hear at least some of the details.”

“I don’t want to hear any of it,” Alex mumbled.

Sigh. “You’re welcome to plug your ears or go back to your room at the inn, Alexander.”

He didn’t move. Taking that as her sign to continue but wanting to move their conversation to a more comfortable setting, Lela asked them to join her in the living room and motioned for them to sit.

“I need to start by saying that I’m telling you this because I want better for you. I want you to learn from my mistakes. Got it?”

Listening intently, Kaitlyn and Tristan nodded. Alex rolled his eyes and took out his phone, pretending he wasn’t interested in hearing her explanation.

“The short story is… I settled. I’d just graduated from college, and several of my friends had either already married or were getting married. It was the next step to becoming a successful adult—at least that’s what I believed at the time. I met your dad six months after graduation, and we were married a year later. We got along great in the beginning. Well… mostly. After we’d been married for a couple years, I realized we were like a pair of mismatched socks—we didn’t match or even complement each other, but we still got the job done. There were red flags, but I ignored them, thinking that anything can be worked through, no matter what. That people can change.”