Because it's all about the big picture E-Book

Ralf Schollenberger

• Herausgeber: novum pro Verlag
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 167

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

In the midst of the Canadian mountain landscape, a stressed and permanently dissatisfied manager finds inner peace. Under the loving guidance of a wise old lady, they experience the beauty of nature and reflect on their own lives and the true meaning of contentment while observing the social behavior of a pack of wolves. The book combines the insights of successful literary works, various religions, teachings and wisdom of primitive peoples, and observations from the animal and plant world into a sensitive, comprehensible, and empathetic narrative. The story and its conclusion represent the lowest common denominator of these sources and offer the reader an inspiring guide for imitation: the eight pillars for a self-determined and contented life.

Leseprobe

Because it's all about the Big Picture

Ralf Schollenberger

Foreword by Dr. Ralf Schneider

Dear readers,

It is a real pleasure for me to share this book by Ralf Schollenberger with you: "Because it's all about the Big Picture". In it, he presents a profound truth that is at once confusing, trivial, and complex, as well as comforting: Everything is here and now, and everything is connected to everyone.

When we take a moment to reflect on our lives, it becomes clear that we have crossed paths with many kind-hearted people who have had a positive influence on our journey. Ralf is one such person, whom I met as a work colleague over 20 years ago and who has remained a good friend to me ever since. Being around such people is like effortlessly absorbing positive energy through the virtues of mindfulness, curiosity and kindness.

His book takes us on a journey to a satisfied and fulfilled life and offers us a compass with eight cardinal points that open up a universe of possibilities. The protagonist of the story is going through an existential crisis, although he supposedly has everything. He himself does not even understand his crisis as such. Loving people help him to perceive himself and to give his life a new direction.

"Wanting to be satisfied is a conscious decision," Ralf writes in the first section of his book. He hits my attitude to life right from the start. I could experience and empathize with what the writing also means for myself.

The middle section of his story not only captivated me, for me this section is a source of lasting and continuing inspiration.

The end of the story becomes the crystallization point of what I read, which takes me back to its beginning. This is how his Circle de Vie closes.

As a reader, I have authentically experienced in the written the teachings and training methods of Ralf, as I was allowed to accompany him over the years and may still experience. I am sure that every reader can draw something for themselves from this book, if the willingness is there.

Dear Ralf, thank you so much for this reading experience. I am grateful for your friendship and your contribution to personal growth and fulfillment.

Your Ralf Schneider

About Dr. Ralf Schneider:

"Share your life energy and joie de vivre to make life more worth living." Together with his wife Claudia, Dr. Ralf Schneider passes this attitude on to his children Lucas, Paula and Jonathan. Dr. Ralf Schneider has been CIO of the Allianz Group since October 2010. From 2010 to 2016, he was also the IT Board Member of Allianz Technology SE and, before that, CIO of Allianz Deutschland (Allianz Deutschland AG) for five years. Since 1989, he has held several senior IT positions at Allianz. Ralf Schneider holds senior mandates in various organizations related to cyber security, such as Cyber Security Sharing & Analytics (CSSA) e.V., the German Cyber Security Organization (DCSO), and the Digital Society Institute (DSI) of ESMT in Berlin. He is involved as vice chairman in the German Association of IT Users (VOICE e.V.), as a senator of the National Academy of Science and Engineering (acatech) and as an advisory board member of the National Research Center for Applied Cybersecurity Athene.

Beginning and end

Everyone can lead a self-determined and contented life in harmony with nature. However, this does not happen by itself. The desire to be content is a conscious decision.

Many people feel a longing for recognition, security, inner and outer peace and a life without deprivation and worry. But is this even possible in today's world?

In Europe, and especially in Germany, we have achieved a level of prosperity that is unparalleled in history. Good medical care, access to education, legally guaranteed vacations, a minimum wage and working hours that have never been so short. We live in abundance - and longer than ever before. As prosperity has increased, so has life expectancy.

Let's take a look at the dark side of the affluent society. We waste resources, we consume more than the earth can provide for us. The way we eat and drink, our consumption of medication and media are gradually leading to physical and mental changes. Too much pressure to perform, stress, worry, too little mindfulness, exercise and regeneration promote this development.

Abundance and sensory overload constantly overwhelm our senses and our psyche. External expectations burden us, and we strive to meet our own demands and obligations. We play the roles of a partner, child, parent, employee, superior or colleague, and friend, among many others.

How can I please everyone in the never-ending competition of my duties? How can I fulfill all these roles? How am I supposed to manage it all?

At a time when I seemingly had everything - a family, a great marriage, wonderful, healthy children, a well-paid job in an executive position at a DAX company, and good friends - I felt that something was missing for a truly happy and content life. Consequently, I began to delve into the topic of "happiness and contentment."

The deluge of happiness books and guides revealed that I wasn't alone in my feelings. The more "happiness reading" I engaged in, the worse I felt because I still sensed dissatisfaction. While I could implement many of the tips and indeed had numerous happy moments, I couldn't attain lasting satisfaction.

I soon began to distinguish between happiness and contentment. Happiness research defines happiness as life satisfaction or well-being. This book is precisely concerned with this life satisfaction.

For me, contentment means inner balance. I am content when I desire nothing more than what I have, when I am at peace with the given circumstances and what I can achieve.

How do we achieve contentment? I illustrate this through a story. Although the narrative and the solutions it presents draw from various non-fiction books, cultures, regions, and religions, the characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons is neither intended nor deliberate. All sources are carefully selected and listed in Part V.

This book does not make any scientific claims. Its purpose is not to condemn or accuse, but instead to empower people to take action and not lose confidence in themselves, nature, and others.

The romantic hope of making a difference inspired me to write this book. I see it as a small impetus that has the potential to bring about change. If you doubt that small things can make a difference, you've never spent a night with a mosquito in your room or walked with a pebble in your shoe.

My search has taken me to fascinating places, and I have read extensively. A dear friend once said to me that it would be a blessing if I could spare her from having to read as much to grasp the puzzle of contentment. That was the catalyst for me to start compiling and writing down my findings.

What drives me is the understanding of the interconnectedness of all living things, nature, and spirituality, as found in various indigenous peoples of Africa, North America, Australia, and even in certain religions. The Great Spirit or God or the Big Picture that binds everything together, giving everything meaning.

When we talk about the meaning of life, it can perhaps be clarified through philosophical contemplation. We can also approach the question of meaning normatively:

What truly matters in life?

Which values are relevant?

How does my life acquire meaning?

What role do my actions play?

Theology and spirituality also provide insights into the bigger picture:

Is there an ultimate goal?

What is the purpose of my existence?

What comes after death?

I believe there isn't a single answer to all these questions. We are just beginning to comprehend the holistic connections in the evolution of beings and nature.

Reading the story cannot substitute for personal experiences, connections, solidarity, sustainable action, and the courage to make one's own changes. The book can and should inspire readers to initiate a process. It should encourage you to open yourself up - to nature, to self-love, to love for others, and to find more ease in your earthly existence. After all, everything you are and everything you become lies within yourself.

In my experience, things are better remembered when conveyed through visual language or storytelling. That's why I chose to share what I've learned in the form of a story. Some parts of the story happened to me or people I know, while others are fictional. I look forward to the discussions and speculation about what is real and what is fiction.

Enjoy the read.

Ralf Schollenberger

***

"Anytime, anywhere."

"Without passion, there is no genius."

This quote by Theodor Mommsen has left an indelible mark on me. It suggests that a certain amount of suffering and dedication is essential for achieving brilliance. And who wouldn't aspire to be brilliant? I am deeply committed to my tasks, my team, and my company. Day after day, year after year. I am successful, valued, and indispensable. Everything I do is geared toward achieving success and brilliance.

_

Wednesday, 4 o'clock. I lie awake in bed, attempting to sleep. My mind is consumed by the challenges and responsibilities of my work. I suppose this is the price one pays for success. I have been struggling to sleep for days, unable to find any rest.

_

The weekend arrives, and I find myself devoid of any motivation. The past week was exhausting, and I long to recharge my energy because crucial meetings and negotiations await me next week. My wife and children are disappointed. They had hoped for a family outing. It's easy for them to say.

_

What a year. We surpassed our targets once again, and our growth continues. The goal achievement meeting was as brief and uninspiring as the ones from previous years. "You met the targets" doesn't fully reflect the effort and personal energy invested to accomplish them. I am pleased with the bonus, but recognition would have been equally satisfying.

The familiar headaches have returned. I had sensed the tension building up in my shoulders and neck, and today it culminated in a painful headache. This always happens when I am on vacation. As soon as I begin to relax, it strikes. My family has grown accustomed to it over time. So have I.

My boss is keeping a low profile today, only to immerse himself in the details again tomorrow. Is this truly about the matter at hand, or is it primarily about him avoiding mistakes and maintaining a positive image?

What a day it has been. Endless hours of meetings, discussions, and formal decisions that are informally overturned behind the scenes. I feel exhausted and disheartened. As I prepare to enter the house, my children and wife expect me to function as a father and husband. I sit in the car in the garage, staring at the wall. I am not yet ready to go inside.

I observe the children playing. Everything seems so simple and effortless. They rush to me, excited and cheerful, eager to share their stories. They ask if I've seen this or that, narrating their adventures with enthusiasm and passion. My lips curve into a mechanical smile. I am still grappling with finding a resolution for the crucial decisions I have been anticipating at the upcoming board meeting next week. I feel weary and disheartened. Just tired.

I watch the children playing. Everything seems so simple and easy. Excited and happy, they run to me. Have you seen this, have you seen that. Enthusiastically and passionately, they tell of their deeds. My mouth smiles mechanically. I still haven't figured out how to finally get the important decisions I've been waiting for weeks at the board meeting next week. I am sad and tired. Just tired.

PART I -DISORIENTED

***

"On a cosmic scale, man plays a comparatively minor role. To interpret our existence in a deeper sense seems almost inappropriate."

Chapter 1 - Burned out

Freezing, I lie on a simple camp in the middle of nowhere in the Canadian mountains. My tired eyes stare at the cold stove. Well, it's my own fault. If I had gathered wood yesterday, I wouldn't be cold now. But my energy wasn't even enough to pick up a few twigs and branches outside.

What's wrong with me? How could it have come to this?

Professionally, I am successful. I love my wife and children, we live in our dream house, have several friendships and I want for nothing materially. The best conditions for being happy - you might think. The best conditions for being happy - you might think.

A few weeks ago, when I got dressed in the morning, I couldn't manage to close the cufflinks on my business shirt. Several attempts to attach the black piano lacquer buttons to the cuffs failed. My hands were shaking, panic was rising in me. Antonia, my wife, watched anxiously. When I looked her in the eye, the tears flowed without restraint - for both of us.

"Is it worth it?" she asked, "You need some time off."

I apologized for my weakness. "I'll get a handle on it," I assured her and headed for the office.

I don't really remember how I got to work. The way to the office is under a veil. There seems to be a kind of subconscious driving.

When I enter the office, my performance routine kicks in. I then function again. When the computer is switched on and the first cup of office coffee is in front of me, my emergency program starts automatically. Problems, feelings, worries and needs are faded out. On we go.

I have always defined myself by work, success and performance. Not showing any weakness, always giving everything. I'm a hard worker, and I don't give up because of every little niggle.

My job has always been a lot of fun. But it also involves constant pressure. Over time, I've realized that I'm no longer able to fulfill my many role requirements. I am a manager, husband, father, brother, son, uncle and friend. In all these roles, I have expectations to meet. To save energy, I have started to focus on my job and limit my social contacts to the bare minimum.

My energy level was at the end. Although I was constantly exhausted in the evening, I had difficulty falling asleep and was constantly awake at night. Even in the middle of the night, my thoughts circled around the issues from the office as a matter of course.

I felt permanently tense, had no appetite and was easily irritable. I used to be patient and empathetic, now I had a short fuse. I could hardly stand disruptions to my routines.

Yes, disturbances. I felt the same way when someone asked me for something, asked me something or just wanted to talk to me - a disturbance of my peace and processes. My family and friends suffered most of all.

My need to be for myself grew. I didn't want to meet anyone, talk to anyone. My life was going over my head without me realizing it.

My wife's tears on that particular morning touched me deeply. I have always been good with tears, but not with that look. Her moist eyes reflected fear, despair and a sincere concern for us, especially for me. Without words, she told me, "I want to help you, but you have to handle this yourself. It started with you, only you can end it."

Antonia's reaction was decisive in making me question my situation. It is important for me to live up to the expectations and values of our relationship. The main motive for getting involved in this thing here was more about not jeopardizing the marriage than the conviction that I needed help. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter.

Now I have landed in this unreal place. In the drafty wooden hut of an indigenous shaman in the Canadian nowhere. It's just me and her here.

There would have been alternatives. But I didn't want to go to one of those "burnout centers" or boot camps for stressed souls and troubled people. I don't have burnout or anything like that. I'm not one of those busybodies who can't cope with their everyday life and need a burnout for their resume. I'm just tired. I probably just need a few days away from the daily grind. I need to relax and switch off again.

When I arrived yesterday after several hours of travel in a hick town in the middle of nowhere, my contact was already waiting for me with a rusty blue pickup truck. We greeted each other curtly. My office hands almost disappeared into the calloused paws of my counterpart. He motioned for me to throw my stuff in the back of the truck and get in.

The car smelled of oil, nicotine and sweat. Dust covered the dashboard and the side trim. Yellowed foam oozed from the cracks in the filthy seat covers. Coffee cups and empty packages of "Meat Snacks" littered the footwell, rustling and crackling their displeasure as I tried to place my Hogan sneakers in this trash. "Zero stars for cleanliness," I thought. No matter, he was now the one who was going to drive me the rest of my way and pick me up later.

Behind the side window, dilapidated swings, old trailer homes, and wrecked cars in front yards passed me as we rolled along the highway. This dreariness made me even sadder than I already was. After a while, we turned onto a gravel road, a steep, bumpy dirt road that would definitely have overwhelmed the suspension of my rental car.

At first, I didn't recognize the forest road that we turned onto after almost three hours of gravel road. The access road was overgrown, no markings. As someone unfamiliar with the area, I would have driven past. In the beginning, the road meandered through a pristine landscape. Like a green carpet, the forest clung to the mountain range we were approaching. Driving up there, steadily uphill, took even our turbo diesel to its limits.

A clearing in the dark green, on it two huts, in front of which some chickens were scratching and pecking. So my taciturn companion had brought me safely to this strange place in the Purcell Mountains, the easternmost range of the Columbia Mountains. He pulled three packages from the truck bed and placed them in front of the main lodge. Then he said goodbye and confirmed that he would pick me up again "at the right time."

At the right time? When is that supposed to be?

I had seen the last sign of civilization several hours ago. "Civilization" is almost an exaggeration. Even the place where I parked the rental car was just a collection of dwellings with an unpronounceable name. Cabins, trailers, a grocer's and liquor store, and a gas station, done.

The howl of a coyote brings me back from my memories to my cold shelter. This cabin will now be my home for some time. At least until I have my old energy level back. Four to eight weeks are scheduled, but I'm sure it will go faster. After all, I have always been ambitious and successful. I can do it in half the time. In two, three weeks at the most, I'll be fit again and out of here.

In the other hut lives the old woman, a "shaman", as she calls herself. It was mainly at my wife's request that I got involved. She researched for days to find the right "therapy path" for me.

She is convinced that this old woman has the gift to bring back lost or stray energies. The shamaness is supposed to cleanse my soul from negative ballast, which causes aberration and exhaustion.

I think this is hocus-pocus. As if souls could get lost or get lost. And purify souls? That is probably also nonsense.

At home I had made fun of it: "How must I imagine this? There's an old woman coming out of the woods, waving incense and capturing my soul while the rest of me sits around the campfire? Afterwards she throws my soul into the washing machine and hangs it out to dry?"