Breaking Connections E-Book

Albert Wendt

• Herausgeber: Huia Publishers
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

A dynamic group has emerged in Auckland whose members refer to themselves as the Tribe. Mainly Polynesian, they grow up together, rise from poverty and become successful professionals, bound by love and fierce loyalty. At the centre, is Aaron, who lives at the edge of danger, shady dealings and self-destruction. When Daniel, receives a call in Hawaii telling him that Aaron has been killed, he returns to New Zealand, and steps into the most dangerous crisis the Tribe has faced. They must confront the truth about who Aaron is and what they, as the Tribe, have become, and also face the infidelity and greed that threaten the cohesion of the Tribe.

Leseprobe

Maualaivao Albert Wendt

AlbertWendtisoneofNewZealand’sandthePacific’s foremost writers, andhehasbeenaninfluentialfiguresincethe1970sinthedevelopmentofNewZealandandPacificliterature. Hehaspublishednumerousnovelsandcollectionsofpoetryandshortstories, andhehaseditedseveralnotableanthologiesofPacificwriting. Hisworkhasbeentranslatedintomanylanguagesandistaughtaroundtheworld.

Hehasbeenawardedmanyliteraryprizes, themostrecentbeingthe2010CommonwealthWriters’ PrizefortheSouthEastAsiaandPacificRegionforhisnovelTheAdventuresofVelaandthe2012PrimeMinister’sAwardforLiteraryAchievementinFiction. HismanyhonoursincludetheCompanionoftheNewZealandOrderofMerit2001, theNikkeiAsiaPrizeforCulture2004, and, in2013, NewZealand’shighesthonour, theOrderofNewZealand, whichisheldbyonlytwentypeopleatanyonetime.

In2012, theAigaSā-MaualaivaoofMalieconferredonhimtheirhighestali‘ititle, Maualaivao, inaceremonyinSamoa. HeisalsoamemberoftheAigaSā-Su‘aofLefaga, theAigaSā-PatuandAigaSā-AsiofVaialaandMoata‘a.

AlbertWendtisEmeritusProfessorofEnglishattheUniversityofAuckland, andliveswithhispartner, ReinaWhaitiri, inPonsonby, Auckland, wherehecontinuestowriteandpaintfull-time. TogethertheyhavetwelvemokopunaandacatcalledMānoa.

Also by Albert Wendt

Novels

Sons for the Return Home

Pouliuli

Leaves of the Banyan Tree

Ola

Black Rainbow

The Mango’s Kiss

The Adventures of Vela

Short Stories

Flying-fox in a Freedom Tree and Other Stories

The Birth and Death of the Miracle Man and Other Stories

The Best of Albert Wendt’s Short Stories

Ancestry

Poetry

Inside Us the Dead: Poems 1961–1974

Shaman of Visions

Photographs

The Book of the Black Star

Au fond de nous les mort – translated into French by Jean-Pierre Durix

From Mānoa to a Ponsonby Garden

Plays

The Songmaker’s Chair

Edited

Lali: A Pacific Anthology

Nuanua: Pacific Writing in English Since 1980

Whetu Moana: Contemporary Polynesian Poems in English with Robert Sullivan and Reina Whaitiri

Mauri Ola: Contemporary Polynesian Poems in English with Reina Waitiri and Robert Sullivan

Autobiography

Out of the Vaipe, the Deadwater

a novelby

Albert Wendt

First published in 2015 by Huia Publishers

39 Pipitea Street, PO Box 12280

Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand

www.huia.co.nz

ISBN 978-1-77550-210-4  

ISBN 978-1-77550-266-1  (mobi)

ISBN 978-1-77550-267-8  (epub)

Copyright © Albert Wendt 2015

Front cover image: © odor zsolt/Shutterstock

Back cover image: © FabrikaSimf/Shutterstock

Photograph of Albert Wendt © Fairfax NZ

On page 97, Te Rauparaha and the haka ‘Ka Mate’ are described. Te Rauparaha was a chief of Ngāti Toa Rangatira, and the composer of the haka ‘Ka Mate’.

This book is copyright. Apart from fair dealing for the purpose of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any process without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in China by Everbest Printing Co Ltd

A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand.

Published with the assistance of

In memory of Max and Joseph, my beloved brothers

Contents

Chapter-1

Chapter-2

Chapter-3

Chapter-4

Chapter-5

Chapter-6

Chapter-7

Chapter-8

Chapter-9

Chapter-10

Chapter-11

Chapter-12

Chapter-13

Chapter-14

Chapter-15

Chapter-16

Chapter-17

Chapter-18

Chapter-19

Chapter-20

Chapter-21

Chapter-22

Chapter-23

Chapter-24

Chapter-25

Chapter-26

Chapter-27

Chapter-28

Chapter-29

Chapter-30

Chapter-31

Chapter-32

Chapter-33

Chapter-34

Chapter-35

Chapter-36

Chapter-37

Chapter-38

Chapter-39

Chapter-40

Chapter-41

Chapter-42

1

SurroundedbytheKo‘olaumountains, theMānoaValleyisshapedlikeagiganticfootprintintowhichthedawnisnowspilling, and, asthesunrisesoverthemountainstoDaniel’srightanditsspreadingmellowlightemphasisesthemassiveheadsandshouldersofthemountains, andthechillycoolofthedewonthevegetationprickleshisskin, it’shisforty-seventhbirthday, andheisaloneforthefirsttimeofanyofhisbirthdaysbuthedoesn’tfeeltheneedforcompany, forpeopleheisfamiliarwith, feelssafewith; no, inexplicablythoughheisthousandsofmilesandmemoriesawayfrom ‘home’, hefeelsself-contained, complete, withoutabeginningoranend, justhere, onthenarrowfrontlānaiofhisapartment, twostoreysup, inasweat-stainedcanvaschairheboughtattheSalvationArmystorefor $3, mugofhotcoffeeinhisrighthand, lettingthesunriseslidedownovertheforestedfoothillsandslopesandacrossthevalleyfloornowcoveredwithexpensivehomesandapartmentsintohiseyesandheadand, withitsilluminatingwarmth, helpinghimfinishthepoemhehasbeenwritingoverthepastfewweeksaboutthesemountainsandthisvalley:

… TheKo‘olauwatchedthefirstpeoplesettleinthevalley

TheKanakaMaoliplantedtheirancestortheKalo

inthemudofthestreamandswamps

andlaterintheterracedlo‘itheyconstructed

Theirancestorfedonthevalley’sblackblood

Theyfedontheancestor

andflourishedforgenerations …

Theakuahavebeengenerousinhelpinghimfindthispoem, anchoringhimtothisnewlocation, thistime, andthissunriseintothefutureand, hehopes, morelucidreadingsofwhoheisandwherehehascomefrom.

Heiswhere, afewyearsago, heneverintendedtobe, butheisnotafraidanymore; well, notnow, nottoday, astherefreshingbreezethatisfollowingthespreadinglightcurlsaroundhisbarechestandarms, reassuringhimthatheissafewithhimself, byhimself, inthehealingpresencesofthesemountainsandakuaandtheKanakaMaoliwhogavelanguagetotheairheisbreathing: airscentedwiththefecundmudofthestreamthatflowsthroughthevalleyandbehindhisapartment.

Thesuncontinuesrising, itsinventiveliftingstartinginhisbellyandsurginguphismoaintohislungsandheartandupthroughhisastoundedgulletintohisquestingmouth.Soonhewillreleaseitfull-bodiedupintothesky, freeoftherange’sgrip.

It’sbeenalmosttwoyearssinceheshiftedfromAotearoa/NewZealandtoHawai‘iandthisvalley.

2

Heislyingonhisbackinbed. Everythingisphosphorescentwhite: eventhepileofpillowsatthebottomofthebedbehindwhichthewoman, inwhitesilkpajamas, isstanding. Againthefearischurninginhisbelly; hecanseehisnakedstomachripplingwithit, andhewantsitalltobeadreamashegazesupintothewoman’sslimface, intoherunmovingblue-greeneyes, whichareasfrighteninglydeepasthePacific, andthenfromherfacedowntoherrightshoulderanddownherarmtoherhandthatispointingdownathim, withablackpistolgrippedinherlong-fingers. Oneachfinger, glittering, areringsherecognises. Hetriesswallowingbacktheliquidfearthathassurgedupfromhisstomach, whileheturnsontohisside, hisbodycurlingintoafoetusposition, hisarmswrappedaroundhisheadprotectingitfromtheshotsheknowssheisgoingtofire. It’sadream, hekeepshoping, adream. Heisn’tgoingtodie! Andhestillrefusestorecognisethewoman. No, itcan’tbeher! No. Butwhenhepeersthroughhisarms, heknowsitis, andsheisnowsmilingthatincandescentlovingsmilesheusedtogivehiminthemorningsoftheirearlylifetogether. Yes, Laura … Please! Please! Withbothhands, hereachesupforthegun, andscreamsintohersmileasherfingerpullsonce, twice, threetimes. Thud, thud, thud! Sharp, metallic, calculated, unforgiving … Andasusualhehearshisownjaggedscreamingandheobserveshimselfwakingtohistremblingbodyandbeddrenchedwithsweat, andforalongwhilehejustliestherestaringintothedarkness, strugglingtocalmhisbundleoffears, regrets, guiltandremorse, asthewetsheetsturncoldaroundhisbody.

Thisdreamhasrecurredonceaweek, usuallyduringtheearlyhoursofFridaymorning, sinceheleftNewZealandandshiftedintoMānoa. WhyFridays? Hehasponderedthatendlesstimes, andthoughthatponderingcomeswithexcrutiatingremorse, hepersists, welcomingthedetailedpainasdeservedpunishmentforwhathehasdonetoLaura.

TheymarriedonawetandcoldFridayafternoonintheregistryoffice, withPaulastheirbestmanandwitness – hecan’trecallwhytherestoftheir ‘tribe’ andhisfatherweren’tatthatmiserableceremony. TheirdaughterCherylhadbeenbornonFridayatdawn, afteralong, agonisingprocess, duringwhichadesperateLaurahadkeptshouting, ‘It’sturningmeinsideout!’ Hismother, sincethedayhefirstunderstoodwhatshewassayingtohim, ruledthatFridaysshouldbebannedbecauseshedetestedfishandchips, hisdad’sandmostkiwis’ favouriteFridaynighttakeaways. MostaccusingandundeniableofallisthetruththatheslappedLauraforthefirsttime – andhe’llneverforgetthesharpechoingsoundandfeelofthatunforgivableslap– aftertheygothomefromadrunkenFridaynightpartyandsheagainaccusedhimoftryingtomakeitwithanotherwoman. Andso, asalways, hecontinuestopunishhimselfponderingthesignificanceofFriday.

Heisrefusingtoacceptthatoneofthereasonsheagreedtoacceptthewriter’sfellowshipinHawai‘iwastotryandescapethisdream, andthekillingbreak-upofhismarriage. True, itisarecurringdream, buteachtimeithappensitisanewandfrighteningtidethatenvelopeshimandhehastostruggle, likeadrowningswimmer, tosurfacefromit, and, throughhisrelievedmouth, suckinthelung-revivingbreathoflife, again. Atleasthenowhasaroutinetocopewithitsafter-effects.

You’realone, you’vebeenaloneforalmosttwoyears. Ifyousufferanyseriousillnessthereisnoonehereinyourapartmenttohelpyou. Andthisdream, thisexecution, you’vecopedwithallthattime, sogetoutofbed, carefully. Leftlegoutfirst; plantitonthefloor. Thenyourotherleg. Standupstraight, steadyyourshaking. Okay? Nowleftfootforward, thenyourright;good. Repeatthat. You’redoingfine. Openthebathroomdoor. Right, nowturnonthecoldtap. Keepyourheadup; youdon’twantthenauseatostartagain. Good. Nowcupyourhandsandfillthemwithcoldwater. Nowdashthecoldwateragainstyourface. Repeatit, andagain. Good. Verygood.Nowturn, stripoffyour‘ielavalava, dropitintothewashbasket. Towel? Gotit? Nowdryyourbodywithit … Yes, isn’titsweettobealive; tohaveovercomeyourweeklydeath? Sosweet, youcantasteitinyoursaliva. AndonceagainitreconfirmsAaron’sclaim, whenhewasrecoveringinhospitalfromhisfirstviolent ‘accident’, thatlivingattheedgealongtheprecariouslinebetweendyingandlivingmakesyouacutelyawareoftheaddictivesweetnessofbeingalive.

3

Ifitisn’trainingheavily, hewalkstoandfromwork; he’sbeendoingitforalmostallthetimehe’sbeeninHonoluluattheUniversityofHawai‘i. Becauseofhishighcholesterolandbloodpressurehisdoctorhasrecommendedthatheexerciseregularly – abriskthirty-minutewalkorjogeachdaywouldbeideal. HealsoenjoystheroutedownWoodlawnDrive, thenacrossthesportsfieldofNoelaniElementarySchool, roundthebackstreetsandthroughSaintFrancisSchoolandtheNewmanCenterandintothecampus. Therouteislushlyrichinfruitandfloweringtreesandplantsandtheiraromas – mangos, avocados, bananas, vi, papaya, gingerandfrangipani. MostfascinatingforhimistheinescapablepresenceoftheKo‘olauRange. IfheiswalkingawayfromtheKo‘olau, hesometimesplaysgameswithit, unexpectedlylookingbackoverhisshoulderandcatchingitobservinghim – yah, gotcha! – andsmilingtohimself, knowingitisalwaysgoingtobethere. Mostfascinatingthoughishisreturn, hiswalkinguptowardstherange, andwatchingthelightandcloudsandshadowschangingconstantlyonthemountains. Whentherangeisstillblazingwithlight, hefeelsitisdisappearingintotheheavens, andhehastolookathisarmsandreaffirmheisn’tdisappearingwithit. Whenswiftwindsaredrivinglargecloudsacrossit, outracingtheirimmenseshadows, whichswiminandoutoftheravinesandvalleysonitsslopes, heraceswiththem, lettinghisheartandbellysingwiththespeed.

Once – andthememoryofitstillawesandfrightenshim – hestoppedinthemiddleoftheNoelaniSchoolfieldaseveningwashappening, hisfeetdeepinthedrygrass, andhadgazedupattheKo‘olau. Withmountingfear, hehadwatchedthelastraysofthesettingsuncontractingintoonequicklyreducingsliverofbrilliantlight, which, asitslidandslippedacrossthemassivecontoursofthemountains, asifsomeonewaspullingittowardsthewest, lookedasifitwasneverreturning. Thatnight, hetriedrecordingtheexperienceinapoem, andmanagedonlyoneworthwhileline: Thelightispullingout.

Thebackofhisalohashirtandarmpitsaresoakingwetbythetimehereacheshisoffice, andhedoesn’thavethetimetolethisairconditioningcoolhimanddryoffthesweat. Hisfirstclassthatday – 303: WritingofPoetry – isfiveminutesaway, and, asusual, thattightdrystarting-to-churn-upfeelingofanxietyisagainatthedeadcentreofhisstomach. ThoughhehasbeenteachingAmericanstudentssincehearrivedattheUniversityofHawai‘i, andfindsmostofthem – especiallytheAsiansandHawaiians – welcoming, considerateandrespectful, hestillconsidershimselfignorantoftheirways, findingeventhewaystheyspeakdifficulttounderstand.

Ashehurriesdownthecorridor, herecallsthatwhen, duringhisfirstyearasalectureratAucklandUniversity, hefirsttoldhismotherabouthisdread, shelaughedandrepeatedhercorephilosophy: ‘Daniel, youinthelion’sden; getoutofit. Justact; beanactorlikeMarlonBrando. That’swhattheywant, aperformancelikeOntheWaterfront!Allthroughmyschooling, Iwantedfortoseeacting, butmybloodyignorantHamoteacherswerenotJohnWayneorBogart’. Anothertime, whenshecaughthimspewinginthetoiletbeforehislecture, shesaid ‘Hey, Daniel-in-thelion’sden, whyyousickwithworry? TheyonlybloodyPalagi. You, beloved, youthebrownBrando. Yes, youbelikeme: actthroughyourlife, act, act, act; that’stheonlywayyougoingtogetsomewhere.’

Justbeforeheturnsthehandleofthedoorintothelectureroom, thetightballofstressinhisstomachbeginseasingaway. Hismotherhadcertainlybeenthemostaccomplished, unrelentinganddeviousactorhe’deverknown. Itisn’tlying, no, sheinsistedwhenhisfatherdiscoveredinherpayslipfromherfirstjobatthehospitallaundrythathernamewasnowEmeraldMalaetau. SherepeatedthatdenialwhenhelateraccusedherofconningherwayintoasecretarialjobintheSocialWelfareDepartmentunderthenameJanineElizabethWiley. Thenlater, whenhewasatuniversitystudyingShakespeareandshepersistedinwalkingroundhim, whilehewastryingtoanalyseMacbeth, recitingLadyMacbeth’slinesandclaimingthatshe’dfirstreadtheworkofBill – asshealwaysreferredtoShakespeare – inSamoaninhervillage, and, exasperated, heaccusedheroflyingaboutthat. She’dcontinuedrepeatingthedenialwheneverheoranyoneelse, includingthepolice, hadaccusedheroflying. Evenifyou’recaughtred-handed, neveradmitthatyou’reguilty. Why? Becausetheso-called ‘truth’ comesinmanyformsandguises. Isn’tthatwhatAlbertEinsteinmeantinhistheoryofrelativity? AfterAlbert, herfavouritephilosopher, everythingwasrelative, dependingonyourindividualperspectiveandviewpoint. ‘Whataboutagasala, sin? Youknow, doingwrong?’ hisfatherinsisted. AfterAlbert, therewasnosuchviciouscreature, sheargued, onlyillness, andlackofcertainchemicalsinthebrain. ‘Whereyoulearnallthatlapisifrom?’ hecountered. ‘Lookaroundyou’, shepointedout; ‘lookatallyourextremelypokoandbrainyson’sbooks. Gointohiscomputerandupintothespace, intotheinternet. Listentohisveryclevertalking, tohimandhisgodlessandintellect-whatever-that-word-isfriends! Andgotothemovies, Lemu, thenyounolongerbeslowbutbecomefastinyourbrainandlearnasfastasthecomputerin2001SpaceSomething-or-Other.

Hedoesn’tlookathisstudentsashewalksself-consciouslyacrosstheroominfrontoftheblackboard, feelingtheirheavyscrutiny, placeshisfoliooflecturenotesandacopyoftheironlyclasstextonthedesk, standswithheadbowed, handsgrippingthefrontcornersofthemoveablelecternforadeeplysilentmoment, andthen, lettinghisshoulderssagasifheisnowreadytorelaxandgetintoit, gazesupandintotheexpansethatisfilledwiththeircuriosityandexpectationsofwhoheisandwhatheislike, thisSamoan/PolynesianprofessorfromNewZealand, acountrytheyknowlittleaboutandcareevenlessabout. Withhismother’sabsolutelywinningJoanCrawfordsmile, heextendshisarmsinthemannerofMissBaystallwhenshe’dfirstwelcomedthemtoschool, and, inBrando’svoiceasMarkAntonyinJuliusCaesar, says, ‘Aloha, talofa, hi!’ Hefeelsthemliftinstantly. ‘AsI’vesaidbefore, itiswonderfultobeinaclassinwhichmostofyoulooklikeme … Apartfromthefactwe’reallhandsome, mostofushaveoneotherthingincommon.’ Hewaits, andtheyaredyingforit. ‘Weareallpermanentlysuntanned!’

Hisdreadhasvanished; gonewithouthimobservingit, worryingaboutit. Hehasthem, inthecoolofhisacting. Likehismotheralwayssaid, it’sallacting; givethemyourbestBrandoperformance.

ItisgoingtobeanothergooddayinParadise, hefeels.

4

Willyoueverenjoytravelling, or, atleastbefreeofstressandworryandfear, asyoudoit? You’vedonealotofit, attendingmeetings, givinglectures, papersandreadingsallaroundtheworld. You’vealsolivedforvaryinglengthsoftimeincountriessuchasSamoa, whereyourparentstookyouforthreeofyourlongChristmasholidaysandwhere, onyourMAgraduation, youtookLauraforherfirstvisit, andwhere, afteryoucompletedyourdoctorate, youlivedwithyourfatherandstepmotherandtaughtatSamoaCollegeforayear. LateryoutookLauraonyourfirstsabbatical, andyourentedaspacioushouseontheslopesofMountVaeaandcompletedyourfirstnovel, TheFinalReturn. Afteryourtwochildrenwereborn, youtookthemtoSamoaforholidaysandhopedthey’dconnectwiththeirrelativesandbeingSamoan. AndyouwenttoFiji, wheretheUniversityoftheSouthPacificofferedyouawriter’sresidency; youtookyourfamilythereandspentthreeunbelievablyproductiveyearswritingyoursecondnovel, Pogisā, andyourfirstcollectionofpoetry, InsideUstheLight, andleftreluctantlyin1987afterthetwomilitarycoups. Afterallthattravellingandhavingtoadjusttoothercountriesandcultures, haveyougrownadeptandusedtodoingit? Forinstance, howhaveyoufoundyourshifttoHawai‘i (andAmerica) andyourattemptstosettleintoit?

‘Areyoutired?’ MichelleasksDanielaftertheyareseatedatthecornertableinSamChoy’s, herfavouriterestaurant, inKapāhuluStreet, atabout7p.m. ‘Youlooktired; haveyouagainbeenworkingtoohard?’ Heshakeshisheadandtriesdenyingtohimself, forthefirsttimeintheirrelationship, thatheisirritatedbyherquestions. HewonderswhysomanyhaoleAmericansinsistondiscussingeverything – andtheymeaneverything – evenoverdinner. ‘Iknowyou: onceyougetintothezoneinyourwritingyougoonandonuntilyoudrop,’ shesays. ‘How’syournovelcomingalong?’

Hecontinuessmiling, shrugshisshouldersandhopesshewon’tinsist, tonight, onfillingallthesilenceswithconversation. Whydotheyinsistondoingthat? Aretheyafraidofthemenagerieoffears, secrets, aitūandsoforththeybelievelurkandcrouchinthosesilences? ‘It’sgoingwell,’ hereplies, hopingthatwilldivertherfromthenovel.

‘Ibetyouitisn’tgoingwell,’ shesays, brushingalongstrandofherblondehairawayfromherlefteye. ‘Ibetyou, youtriedandtriedallthehothumiddaytounravel, developthedifficult, complex, destructiverelationshipbetweenMarkandShirley …’ Henowwisheshehadn’ttoldherthestoryline.

‘IhadtogiveitupintheearlyafternoonandgoforaswimatKaimana …’ Thatshoulddiscourageher.

‘Youmean, youwentwithoutme, Daniel?’ Hereyesareroundwithmocksurprise. ‘Youdidn’tdothat, didya? God, youNooZealanderstreatyarwimminroughly, neglectthem, ignorethem …’ Herealisesitwasthefirsttimeintheirrelationshiphe’sbeenforaswimwithouther, andisgladaboutit.

‘Whatareyouhavingtonight?’ heasks, handingherthemenu.

Shereachesacrossthetableandholdshislefthand. ‘I’llhaveyou, butI’llordermyusualseafoodsalad.’ Shelaughs, thesoftwhitelightoftherestaurantsnaredinthesheenofherperfectlygroomedhairandintheglintofherlaughter. ‘Whatareyouhaving?’

‘You. Ihope, butlater.’ Hemimicsherinvitationbutdoesn’treallymeanit. ‘Rightnow, I’llhavesomestamina-inducinglobster!’ Theylaughtogether, andshecaresseshisarm.

He’dfirstmetheratthedepartmentalfunctionheldtowelcomehim. HecaughtherdistinctivescentofAlohaperfumebeforeshecameintohisview. ‘MichelleBramford, ProfessorMalaetau,’ sheintroducedherself. ‘Idon’tteachhere; I’montheBoardthatfinancesthewriters’ fellowships, andIwantedtobeheretonightbecauseIloveyourwork. Simplyloveit.’

‘Thankyou, thankyou. Andwhatdoyoudo?’

‘I’mjustahumbleamateurartist,’ shesaid, andpaused, lookingupintohisface. ‘Idowatercoloursandacrylics …’

‘Ofwhat – whatkindofart?’ Hefeltsecureagain, nowshewasembarrassed.

‘Isupposeyoucansay, ofseashoresandthelandscape, mainly.’ Shelookeddownatthefloor, hidingherdiscomfort. ‘IdotheseashoresandmagnificentmountainsofHawai‘i.’ Pausedagain. ‘IsthatagoodenoughdescriptionofwhatIdo?’

‘Iguessso,’ hereplied.

Notlongafterthatheusedtheexcusethathehadtomeettheotherguests, andmovedawaypolitely. Fortherestofthefunction, shewasabsentfromhisview.

‘Here’smycard, ProfessorMalaetau,’ sheintrudedagainattheendofthefunctionasheheadedforthedoorandhome. ‘IfyoueverneedsomeonetoshowyouroundO‘ahu, pleaseringme.’ Hewasnotsurprisedatherboldness – weren’tAmericanwomensupposedtobelikethat? Heacceptedhercardwithoutlookingather, saidthankyouandwalkedout, relegatingherintothatzoneofthepeopleyoumeetonceandseenoneedtomeetagain.

Thenextevening, abalmySaturday, whilehewassufferinghisusualweighttraininginfrontofthetelevisionandtheworldnews, sherang. ‘ThisisMichelle. AmIinterruptinganythingimportant, Daniel?’ sheasked, asifshe’dknownhimforalongtime.

‘No, I’mjustliftingsomeweights,’ heheardmyselfreplying. Herealisedhewasautomaticallyplayinghergameoffamiliarity, andenjoyingit.

‘Doyouliftveryheavyweights?’

‘No – well, nottooheavy.’ Hewasevenshowingoff.

‘Nowonderyoulookveryfit!’ Hecouldsensegenuineadmirationinherremark. ‘Me, I’mthemostunfitwomanyou’veevermet.’

‘Youlookedveryfittometheothernight,’ hereturnedhercompliment, recallingherphysicalappearanceandlikingwhathehadseenandwasimagining ‘Reallyfit, Michelle.’ Hecaressedherimage.

AfterthathequicklyacceptedherinvitationtoshowhimaroundsomeofthebeachesofO‘ahuthenextday.

Thatguidedtour, onthatbrilliantSunday, withherdrivingalwaysinsightoftheKo‘olauintothecooltradewindsandthelushmythologyofHawai‘iasParadise, andthenswimminginthehealingwatersofWaimānalo, extendedthenextdayintodinnerwithherathercosyandexpensivehomeinKāhalarightonthewater, andafewimpatientdayslatereruptedintoanuninhibitedexplorationofherbedandawildsavouringofthecompellingnewnessoftheirlustforeachotherandadiscoveringandtriggeringoftheirfavouritepointsofsexualfantasy. ‘Jesus,’ she’dexclaimed, ‘Jesus, Iloveit, loveit!’ Herevelledinherfranknessaboutandboundless, extravertenjoymentofsex, andsheinhis.

Overthosefirstfewweeks, heobservedthatMichellewasfastidious, neat, tidy, controlledinmostthings. Thewayshedressed, thewayherhousewasorganisedandfurnishedwasexpensive, tastefulbutneverchallenging; herpolitics, hertastesinfoodandherpaintingsshowedshelivedwithinsetprescriptionsthatdidn’tinviteorattractcontroversy. Shewassafewithintheexpensivecocoonoftheconventionaltastesofthewealthy.

Shedivulgedthatshe’dgrownupinLosAngeles, inawealthyhome. Herfatherproducedsomeofthebiggestcrimetelevisionseries – shewastooashamedtonameforhim. WhenMichellewasbornandherfatherstartedmakinglotsofmoney, hermotherstoppedaspiringtobeanactressanddevotedhertimetoraisingMichelleandmoneyfortheCancerSociety – herownmotherhaddiedofbreastcancer, andherfatheroflymphaticcancer. WhenMichelle’smotherwastestedandfoundtohavethecancergenethathadkilledhermotherandmanyofhermother’sfemalerelativesandancestors, shedidn’thesitatefromhavingbothherbreastsremoved, asaprecautionarymeasure. SoonafterthatMichelle’sfatherhadleftthefamilyforthehugely-breastedyoungstarofoneofhisseries – hislatestloverinalongseriesofthem.

Michellehadbeenpackedofftoanexclusivegirls’ boardingschool, whilehervengefulmothertookherfathertocourtwhere, onthebasisoftheirprenuptialagreement, shewasawardedhalfofhisworth: enoughforsheandMichelletoliveoninsplendidcomfortfortherestoftheirlives, andforhermothertostarttheseriesofdisastrousmarriagesthatweretobeherlife.

Feelingutterlyforsakenbyherparents – especiallybyherfather, whoshehadbeendevotedto – andfindingherselfinaschool (andlater, auniversity) wheremostofthestudentsbehavedextravagantlybeyondtheconventional, Michellehadwovenaprotectiveskinofsafetylimitsaroundherself: don’tdoanythingthatattractsattention, includingcommendation. Shehadlearnedearlythatshehadalargepassionforart – particularlypainting – buteventhatshecurbed, bychoosingtospecialiseinrealisticwatercolours.

Afewyearspreviously, DanielhadwalkedintooneofhiswritingclassesinAucklandandunexpectedlyintothemiddleofaheated, hilariousdiscussionhisstudentswerehavingaboutsex. ‘It’sfuckingspringandwe’llallrandy, aren’twe?’ agiftedpoet, whowasstudyingtobeamedicaldoctor, wassaying. He’dnotexpectedsuchfranknessfromher.

‘Youspeakforyourself,’ ayoungmansaid. ‘Spring’sgotnothingtodowithit. You’rejustnotgettingenoughofit.’ Theotherslaughed.

‘Fuckyou, dickhead!’ shecountered. ‘Whoever’sfuckingyouneedstohavehisheadexamined!’ WhenshesawDaniel, shecollapsedintoherseat, huggingherembarrassment.

‘Areyoupoeticenough, Professor, tobelievethatspringmakeslivecreaturesrandy?’ someoneelseasked. Theywaited, andhehadtomakeitgood.

‘I’msorry, Ican’tcommentonthat, becauseSamoa, wheremyphysicalrootsare, doesnothavespring. Onlyawetanddryseason!’ Somestartedlaughing.

Pointingatherattacker, thepoetsaid, ‘Yeah, andhe’sinthedryseasonallthedrytime!’

Danieltooktheopportunitytoexploretheirgeneration’ssexualmoresandbehaviour. ‘IstheresuchacreaturecalledLoveinyourschemeofrelationships?’ heasked. Maybe, theyconcurred, maybewhenyouneededtobewithyourpartnerforalongtime. Butmostofitwaslust – healthy, heart-thudding, overwhelming, inescapablelustthatgaveyourgenitalstotalcontrolofyourlife, theyclaimed. Foreverinarelationship? hetestedthem.

‘No; hellno,’ repliedhisromanticpoet. ‘Sixmonthsifyou’relucky, thenitcoolsquicklyandyougosearchingforlustinnewothers.’

‘Andgenderdoesn’tmatter?’ hecontinued.

‘Dependsonyourpreferences,’ shereasoned.

‘Onthepreferencesofyourlust!’ someonecalled.

Afterthatwaveoflaughter, heasked, ‘Ifoursocietyallowedustobehonestaboutourrelationships – say, admitinamarriagethatitwasnowallbloodyboringandmeaningless – wouldanyofthoselastforever, likeintheadvertsformarriageandtruelove?’ Afteraboutofnoisydebate, withhisromanticpoettryingtocontrolit, theyarrivedattheconsensusthatnohonestrelationshiplasted. ‘Notevenforoldieslikemewho’velostthelustandarepermanentlylimpandjustwantfriendshipandconsolationuntilIdie?’ hethenasked.

‘WhataboutViagra? Thatcuresyourlimpnessand, indoingthat, restoresyourlust!’ thethoughtfulaspiringnovelist, whousuallyoccupiedtheseatatthebackcorner, spokeupforthefirsttime. Againtheywereallfocusedonpoorlimpoldhim.

‘Thankyou, forthatwonderfuladvice, butasapoorlypaidlecturer, Ican’taffordtheexorbitantpriceofthatcure,’ hedeclared. Theyclapped. ‘SountilIdie, Iwillhavetobecontentwithfriendship.’

Inrememberingthatepisode, heanticipated – butdidn’twanttoadmit – thathislustfulexplorationswithMichelle, likeallhisotherpreviousones, wouldflourishformaybesixmonthsandthengothewayofspring.

Fourmonthslater, Michelleisstillatthecentreofhisview. Likealltheotherwomenwhohavesharedhislifeatvaryingemotionaldepthsofcommitmentandlengthsoftime, sheinitiatedthatentry, andhe’sletherdeepenherclaim. Thistime, hewasvulnerablyinvitingbecausehewasaloneandtryingtoadapttoHonoluluandanewjobwhilestillpreoccupied, everyday, withtheeffectsofthebreak-upofhismarriage, orsohekeepstellinghimself. ‘Again, you’rebloodylyingtoyourself,’ Aaronwouldhaveaccusedhim. ‘Youwerestarvedforsex, that’swhy.’ Well, thattoo. ‘Andwheneverything, includingthesex, getsboring, youdon’thavethegutstoendit, andtherelationshipjustlimpsonuntilthepoorneglectedwomandiscoversyou’refuckinganotherwomanontheside, andendsitforyou.’ Nottrue, wasnevertrue, heprotests, ashewatchesMichellepouringmoreFrenchdressingontohersalad.

‘Yourlobsterlooksscrumptious: asedibleasyou, darling,’ shesays. Hehasalwayshatedbeingfondledandclaimed, byanyone, inpublic; hatedshowingaffectionforsomeonehelovespublicly. Hehastriedtoridmyselfofthat, blaminghisparentsforraisinghimthatway, but, evennow, watchingandfeelingandhearingMichelledisplayinghergenuineaffectionforhimisturninghisirritationintoupsurgingangerhehastoswallowbackashedigshisforkintothegrilledtailofhislobster: Karruunnch!

Twomonthslater, herealisesspringwithMichelleisover, ashisstudentswouldsay, andheistryingtoescapehissorrowatlosingLauraandhisfamilybylustingmindlesslywithMegan. IncapacitatedbyguiltforbetrayingMichelle, heisallowinghisrelationshipwithhertolimpon, justasAaronwouldhavehadit.

Once, justbeforeLauraleftforgood, andshe’dfoundoutabouthislatestaffair, atapartytheywerehavingatKeith’shouse, she’dshouted, ‘Dan, you’rejustasleazylyingcoward. Youalsolieconvincinglytoyourself, andI’mfedupwithit. It’sneveryourfault. Womenjustcomecrawlingtoyou!’

‘Yeah, Dan, whydon’tyouadmitthatyou’rejustaddictedtofuckingmorethanonewomanatonce, andlovetheguiltandsleazinessofit,’ Mereaccusedhim.

‘Likeyourmotherdid!’ Lauraturnedtheknife, and, ashescrambledtohisdrunkenfeettogetather, Keithkneedhiminthebellyandhedroppedtohisknees, winded.

‘Whydoyakeepgoingwithotherwomen, man? EseloulēalofaiaLauramalaufagau, Dan!’ Keithdeliveredtheblowthatmadehimstaggerupandoutofthehouse.

5

Thepainunderthebridgeonthetopright-handsideofhismouthworsensandlengthensindurationbuthekeepspostponingseeingadentist. Then, whenhe’shavinganice-coldbeeronThursdayafternoon, thepainjabslikeaboltofelectricityupfromthebridgeintohisgumandupthroughhischeekbone, andthreatenstoblowopenhisrighteye, andhecrieswiththepain. HeringsMichelleandsherecommendsherdentist, DrMeganShibata.

HeringsDrShibata’sreceptionistandpleadsforanemergencyappointmentonFridaymorning. Hetakessomestrongpainkillersandisabletosleepuntildawn, whenthepainre-gripsthewholeright-handsideofhisfaceandrefusestolethimsleep.

Hisappointmentisfor9a.m. butheisintheclinicby8.30, grippingasmallpackoficetotheswollenright-handsideofhisunshaven, ashenface.

‘I’llseeifDrShibataisinnow,’ thenursewhispersaftershesettleshimintothedentalchairandstretchesitbackuntilheislying, headslightlyraised, gazingupintothecream-coloredceiling.

‘Whatiswrong, sir?’ Thenurse’sfacecomesintoviewabovehim: twoglisteningbrowneyesaboveawhitemask.

‘Gotthisawfulpain!’ hesays, pressinghisfingersintothesideofhisface. ‘Uphere.’ Heopenshismouthandjabshisforefingerintothebridge. ‘Underthebridge.’ Hurry, hurry, hurry! hepleadstohimself.

‘ProfessorMalaetau? I’mMeganShibata’ TheveryAmericanaccentenuciateshisnamecarefully. Herfullfaceisinview, nomaskyet – butbecauseofhispreoccupationwiththepain, hedoesn’ttakenoteofherfeatures.

‘Thispainisbloodyawful.’ Heshowsherthelocationofthepain.

Onwithhermask, andshesays, ‘Now, let’shavealook. Open.’ Sheexaminestheareaquickly. ‘We’llhavetotakesomeX-rays …’

‘Justgivemeashotofthatstuffyouusetonumbabloodysoretooth!’ Hepauses. ‘Please. Anything!’

DrShibatatalkstothenurse; hedoesn’tunderstandwhatsheissaying. ‘Okay, Professor, justopenyourmouth.’

God, hewelcomestheneedleasitslides – athinslitofpain – downintohisgumunderthebridgeandthenup. Withinseconds, thesavingnumbnessstartsclosingroundandsqueezingthelargerpainoutofexistence. Thankyou, thankyou, hewantstosaytoDrShibata. Ashortwhilelater, asherunshistongueoverthearea, hefeelsnothingthere; nofeelingwhatsoever. Imagineyourwholephysicalbeingandbodynumbedoutofexistence, outofallfeeling, butyourconsciousnessstillknowingyou’realiveandcontemplatingyourbeingnumbedoutofexistence. Imagine!

ItisonlythenthathestartstoseeDrShibataandwhatishappeningaroundhim: thenursewiththesofthandstakingX-rays – sixofthem, hecounts – rushingoutoftheroomeverytime; DrShibatareturningafterthat, andstandingbehindhimanddiscussinghisX-rayswiththenurse. Beforehecanask, shebringstheX-raysroundand, raisingthechairsoheissittingup, showshimeachone.

‘See, thelasttoothunderthebridgehasalreadyhadarootcanal, soitcan’tbethatone. However, ifyoulookatthisone – thefirsttooth – seetheroots? Theredoesn’tseemtobeanythingwrongwithitthough …’

‘Sowhere’sthepaincomingfrom?’

‘Probablytheonewiththerootsstill.’ Shepauses. Whenheglancesupather, sheissmiling. ‘I’mnotmuchhelp, amI? Nerveshavewaysofsometimessendingusthewrongmessages. Butmyguessisthetooththatstillhasroots.’

‘Ithoughtthiswasallsupposedtobescientific,’ hejokes.

‘Sometimesit’sallintuitive!’ shesays. ‘Youshouldknowthat. Imeanyou’reaprofessorofliterature.We’lltakeafewmoreX-raysofthesuspectandseewhathe’shiding.’

AfterthenursetakesthefurtherX-rays, DrShibataexamineshisteethonebyonemethodically, callingoutthingsthatthenursenotesdown. ‘We’rejustmappingyourteeth, youcansay,’ shetellshim. ‘It’syourfirsttimewithusandwewantafullrecordofyourteeth.’

HewonderswheretheShibatacomesfrom; shedoesn’tlookJapaneseatall. Perhapsthestraightjetblackhair, thehighprominentcheekbones, theroundnessoftheface, thelongtrunk? SomeSpanishorPolynesianorEuropeanmix – orallthreeintheresomewhere? SuchafusionistypicalofHawai‘i. Sheisinherearlyforties. Shehasdark, heavyshouldersandhips. Hermovementsaremeasuredandexperiencedandherhandsknowingastheymoveoverandinhismouth, andherblue-blackeyesseemsofocusedonwhatsheisdoingsheisn’tawareheisscrutinisingher. Hestartsnoticingthatthoughsheiskeepingtheusualprofessionaldistanceinthewayshetouchesandmovesroundhim, shedoesn’tmind – ordoesn’tnotice – thatsometimesshebrushesorbumpsorpressesagainsthim. Andhelikesthattrust.

Standingbesidehim, sheexaminestheX-raysofthesuspecttoothfromdifferentangles, andthen, showinghimthethirdX-ray – aclose-upoftherootcanal – says, ‘Yes, Ithinktherootisbadlyinfected.’

‘Rootcanaljob?’ Hetriestojoke, rememberinghowunpleasanthisotherrootcanaloperationshavebeen.

‘I’mafraidso.’ Shepausesandheglancesup. ‘Doyouwantthedetails?’ Henods. ‘Ihavetodrillthroughthebridgeandcrownanddowntocleanouttheroot …’

‘Nomoredetails,’ heinterrupts. ‘Isufferavividimaginationthat’llperformtheoperationonmerepeatedlybetweennowandwhenyoudoit.’

Afterhehasgargledandthenursehascleanedhislipsandtakenoffhisbib, DrShibatasays, ‘I’llmakeaprescriptionforpainkillerstokeepthepainatbaytonight, thencomebacktomorrowandI’lldomybesttoextractyourpain, painlessly.’ Notraceoflocalinherlanguageandthewayshetalks.

Hegetsoffthedentalchair. Ashestandsup, shereachesoverand, withatissue, driesthethinstreakofsalivaontherightsideofhismouth. Hecan’tfeelit.

‘You’renotfromhere, areyou?’ sheasksastheygototheofficetofixthetimeforhisnextday’sappointment.

‘NewZealand. I’vebeenhereforonlyafewmonths.’

‘Wow, NooZeelan’, eh. Myfriendstellmeit’sabeautifulcountry.’

‘Yes, it’sverybeautiful,’ hehearshimselfsaying: hehasalwaysrefusedtodescribeNewZealandthatway. Whenhelooksatherandsheissmilingopenlyagain, herepeats, ‘Youshouldvisit – itisverybeautiful.’

‘I’mnotfromhereeither,’ shesays. ‘ShiftedherefromLasVegasfiveyearsago.’

Nextdaytherootcanaloperationgoessmoothly; theonlyobjectionablepainhefeelsisthefirstinjectionsofnovocaine. Therestofifisalotofconstrictedmovementsbyherhandsandinstrumentsinhismouth. Asthethindrillpenetratesdeeperanddeeperintotherootcanal, hecatcheswhiffsofdecay, justbrieflybutenoughtoremindhim, starkly, ofthestenchofthedeaddogheandhisfatherhadoncecomeacrossinastandofflaxintheparkneartheirhouse.

Afterwards, whenhe’sgargledandthenwipedhissweatingfacewithahottowelthenursegavehim, DrShibataasksifheisfeelingallright.

‘Thankyou,’ herepliesthroughanumbmouth. ‘Thankyouforsavingmefromthepain.’

Shetakesoffherglassesandmaskandpeelsoffhersurgicalgloves. Whenshelooksathim, henoticesthathereyesarebloodshotwithfatigue, thewrinklesunderhereyesmorepronounced. ‘It’sjustamatterofconcentrationandskill.’ Shepauses, smiling, andadds, ‘Youshouldtakebettercareofyourteeth.’ Hefeelsthisisareferencetohislife. ‘Yourmouthandteethtellmealotaboutyou.’ Shereadshim.

‘I’llmakeappointmentsstartingnextweektocomeandhavetherestofmydentalproblemsfixed, okay?’ hesays.

‘I’llfixjustyourdentalproblems, ProfessorofLiterature,’ shesaysoverhershoulder. Howstrange, howinsightfullystrange, hethinks.

AtdinnerwithMichellethatnightatherhouse, shewantstoknowindetailabouthisoperation. HedetailsitbutomitsanymentionofDrShibata’slastremark: itisapricelesssecretbetweenherandhim, nottobesharedwithevenMichelle.

‘Sheisverybeautiful, isn’tshe?’ Michellesays.

‘Iwasinpain, Ididn’tnoticethat.’ Then, todistracther, heasks, ‘Howcomeshe’sgotaJapanesenameandshedoesn’tlookAsianatall?’

‘Askher,’ shesays.

‘Ican’tdothat, it’stoopersonal.’

‘Trustyoumen. Justaskher; you’dbesurprisedatwhatourbeautifuldentistwilldiscuss.’ Heissittingonthesofa. Shesidlesover, sitsdowninhislap, andwrapsherarmsroundhisneck. ‘Openyourbeautifulmouth, darling, andletmeseeMegan’sbeautifulwork.’ Lookingathisteethandgentlyrunningherforefingeroverthebridgeandthegum, whichisstillredfromtheinjections, shewhispers, ‘Isitsore?’ Heshakeshishead. ‘Here, letmehealitforyou.’ Sherunshertongueoverhislipsandthenpushesitagainstthebridgeandalonghisgum. Whenhestartstorespond, shesucksgentlyonhislowerlip. ‘Poor, darling. YoureallymustgetourbeautifulMegantohealtherestofyou …’ Thehealingfeelofherlipsandmouthandbreathspreads, likearevivingbalm, acrosshiswholefaceanddownintohisbelly, andherecallsMegan’sexpertandconcernedhandsandfingersaroundandinhismouthanddownintotherootsofhisbreath. Welcomesit, unconditionally.

Ontheirthirdappointment, whileMeganworksonhisteeth, shesitsonthehighstoolbesidehim, herkneespressedagainsthisside, herwholepresenceenteringhiseverypore, hereyes (whichheavoids) andfacefillinghissight, hersoftscent – isitfrangipani? – fingeringthedepthsofhisbreath. Sosexual, solikeforeplay, butbecausethenurseistheretheypretendnothinglikethatishappening.

Heunfoldshisarmsanddropshisrightarmdownthesideofthedentalchair. Whenitlandsonherleftthighandshemovesherlegaside, heletshisarmstretchdownbetweenherlegsandagainstherinnerthigh. Sheiswearingcottontrousersunderhergown. Heholdshishandstill – shedoesn’tmoveherlegaway. Whenhemovesthebackofhishandeversoslightlyagainstherthigh, thereisstillnoindicationsheisawareofit, butheknowssheiswelcomingit.

Aftershehasfinishedwithhisteeth – andthey’rebothfindingitdifficulttocontroltheirlust – heasksifheshouldcomebacklater. Shenodsonce, avoidinghiseyes.

Itisalmostimpossibleforhim, inhisoffice, tosubduehisdesire, whilehewaitstoseeher, soherushesbacktoherclinicandwaitsacrossthestreetinacafé, sippingcoffeeuntilheseestheothershopsclosingandthenurseleaving. Quickly, heisbackinhersurgeryandsheisonherbackonthedentalchair, stillavoidinghiseyes, ashefranticallyunbuttonsandunzipsherclothes. Hewillrecallitlaterashebeingthedentistandshethepatient, doingeverythinghewants, asheexaminesandkisseshermouthandthenworksdowntoherbreastsandtherestofherbody. Allthetime, hefeelssheiswatchingeverythingthey’redoing.

Later, afterthreemoresuchsessionsonherdentalchairduringtheweek, herecognisesthatisherwayofsex: oblique, nevershowingsheisdirectlyintheact, watchingherselffromoutsideherselfandbeingarousedbythat, andthencominginlongthinsurgesthatigniteherbodyandthreatentoblowitup, butthatshesuppressesbywrappingherarmsroundhershoulders, shuttinghereyestightly, clenchinghermouthandholdingintheexplosion, swallowingitbackuntilitisaseriesofwhimpers, barelyaudiblemoansandshudders. Afterwardssheavoidstalkingaboutit. Notthatshedoesn’tdiscusssexopenly; shedoes, but, ifitisaboutherandDaniel, shedescribesitasifsheisdescribingotherpeople. Strangely, Danielfindsherobliquewayfascinating, intenselyarousing.

MeganhadshiftedtoHawai‘iandtheMānoafromLasVegasafterhersecondmarriagefailed, buyingapartnershipinthetwo-dentistMānoaValleyClinicandafour-bedroomhouseattheheadofthevalley. WhyHawai‘i? heasks. Whynot? Besides, hergrandfather – that’swhereshegotthe ‘Shibata’ – hadmigratedfromthecanefieldsoftheBigIslandtoSantaCruz, wherehe’dplayedoutthestereotypeoftheincrediblyhard-workingAsianfulfillingtheAmericandream. Hehadworkedhiswayupfromdish-washertomaîtred’ toownerofasmallrestaurant, thePonoEatery, specialisinginHawaiiancuisine. Thatonerestaurant, overtwodecades, threewivesandtwelvechildren, hadblossomedintothePonochain.

Megan’sfather, thethirdsonandthefirstinthefamilytograduatefrombusinessschool, afterservingintheKoreanWar, tookoverthemanagementafterhisfathercollapsedanddiedofastroke. Heenjoyedmanagingthebusinessimmensely, butinkeepingthecompanyintact, profitableandfunctioningwellhehadtokeepatbayhisjealous, greedy, squabblingbrothersandsistersandtheirspousesandchildren. Thatwasanunrelentingdemand.

Megan’smother, thethirddaughterofaWisconsinfarmingfamily, hadfledherhomeattheageoffifteenandneverrevealedmuchtohertwochildrenaboutherlifebeforeshemetMegan’sfatherattheageofnineteen, whileshewaswaitressingintheBeverleyHillsPonoEatery.

Eric, Megan’sbrother, wasbornayearafterthetwomet, thenMegan. Apartfromthefood, therewaslittleelsethatwasJapanese, HawaiianorAsianinMegan’sandEric’supbringing. Thatwasthewaytheirmotherwantedit, althoughitfurtherantagonisedherhusband’sfamily, whobrandedherbehindherback ‘thathaolebitchfromnowhere’.

SheandEricdidn’thaveahappychildhood, MegantellsDaniel. Hergreedy, screwed-uprelativesfuckedupherparentsbybeingaconstantdrainontheiremotional, psychologicalstrength. Inturn, herparentstookthatoutoneachother, quarrellingincessantly, theirargumentsinterspersedwithlongperiodsofaccusingsilence. Soasnottoaggravatethat, Meganlearnedearlynottomakedemandsonthemorattracttheirnegativeattentionbyrevealinghowshewastrulyfeeling. Eric – gentle, gentleEric, theonlypersonsheloved – couldn’t, orwouldn’t, dothat.