Broken Not Shattered E-Book

Rita Potter

• Herausgeber: Sapphire Books Publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 470

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

Even when it seems hopeless, there can always be a better tomorrow.

Jill Bishop has one goal in life – to survive. Jill is trapped in an abusive marriage, while raising two young girls. Her husband has isolated her from the world and filled her days with fear. The last thing on her mind is love, but she sure could use a friend.

Alex McCoy is enjoying a comfortable life, with great friends and a prosperous business. She has given up on love, after picking the wrong woman one too many times. Little does she know, a simple act of kindness might change her life forever.

When Alex lends a helping hand to Jill at the local grocery store, they are surprised by their immediate connection and an unlikely friendship develops. As their friendship deepens, so too do their fears.

In order to protect herself and the girls, Jill can’t let her husband know about her friendship with Alex, and Alex can’t discover what goes on behind closed doors. What would Alex do if she finds out the truth? At the same time, Alex must fight her attraction and be the friend she suspects Jill needs. Besides, Alex knows what every lesbian knows – don’t fall for a straight woman, especially one that’s married…but will her heart listen?

Leseprobe

Even when it seems hopeless, there can always be a better tomorrow.

Jill Bishop has one goal in life – to survive. Jill is trapped in an abusive marriage, while raising two young girls. Her husband has isolated her from the world and filled her days with fear. The last thing on her mind is love, but she sure could use a friend.

Alex McCoy is enjoying a comfortable life, with great friends and a prosperous business. She has given up on love, after picking the wrong woman one too many times. Little does she know, a simple act of kindness might change her life forever.

When Alex lends a helping hand to Jill at the local grocery store, they are surprised by their immediate connection and an unlikely friendship develops. As their friendship deepens, so too do their fears.

In order to protect herself and the girls, Jill can’t let her husband know about her friendship with Alex, and Alex can’t discover what goes on behind closed doors. What would Alex do if she finds out the truth? At the same time, Alex must fight her attraction and be the friend she suspects Jill needs. Besides, Alex knows what every lesbian knows – don’t fall for a straight woman, especially one that’s married…but will her heart listen?

SAPPHIRE BOOKS PUBLISHING

SALINAS, CA.

Broken not Shattered

Copyright © 2021 by Rita Potter

All rights reserved.

ISBN EPUB- 978-1-952270-22-2

This is a work of fiction - names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without written permission of the publisher.

Editor - Kaycee Hawn

Book Design - LJ Reynolds

Cover Design - Fineline Cover Design

Sapphire Books Publishing, LLC

P.O. Box 8142

Salinas, CA 93912

www.sapphirebooks.com

Printed in the United States of America

First Edition – April 2021

This and other Sapphire Books titles can be found at

www.sapphirebooks.com

For Terra: Forever, please.

For Maxine: Gone but never forgotten.

I would like to thank Chris and everyone at Sapphire Books for giving me the chance to make my dream a reality. I will never forget the Sunday afternoon when you called to give me the news. I was so impressed that you spent over an hour answering all my questions, never making me feel as if you wanted me to shut up and get off the phone.

Thanks to my editor, Kaycee, who patiently dealt with this comma-challenged author. Not only did your recommendations make my writing better, you also saved the readers from having to read the word, “said”, 750 times more than was necessary. And thanks for the email exchanges that made me feel like a person, not just a job.

Thanks to my now retired high school English teachers. Mrs. Cleland, who may never know the impact she had on a teenager struggling with herself. And Mrs. Wright, who braved reading a lesbian romance, sex scenes and all, in order to make this a better book.

Thanks to Kristy 2.0, who is traveling the writer’s journey with me. I look forward to the day I read my name in your acknowledgements.

Thanks to the team that has walked beside me for so many years in my “day job”: Gene, Laurie, Barb, and Alicia. We’ve been through everything together. I wouldn’t have the time or energy to write if it wasn’t for you guys. You’ve had my back, you’ve been my family, and most importantly, you’ve made me laugh, no matter what the situation.

Thanks to my family. To my mom, who instilled the love of reading and learning in me. To my brother, who taught me how to be competitive, since I kicked his butt in everything we ever played. To Mom and Dad Stetz, who has cheered me on and entrusted their daughter to me.

Thanks to Kourtney, for being my beta reader, marketing guru, ping pong buddy, book club participant, and best friend. Even though it hasn’t always been easy, it’s been worth it.

Thanks to Maxine, who is gone but not forgotten. You were the inspiration for this book, and my best friend, until the big C took you from us. But you left me with the most valuable gift anyone could give, when I inherited Kristy 1.0 and the best man I have ever known, her husband Mike.

Thanks to Chumley, the cat. I was afraid if I didn’t add him here, he wouldn’t let me use his pictures on my website or my social media posts anymore. If anything will make me go viral, I’m sure it will be him, not my writing.

Thanks to Terra, my wife, who makes everything in my life possible and better. People always say that relationships are hard, but being with you has always been easy. You’ve been my biggest supporter, while also being courageous enough to give me honest feedback in my life and my writing, which has made me a better person and author. For the past twenty years, you’ve let me shine and pursue all my crazy ideas, while you quietly bring the steadiness and stability I need. Now that we’ve been married for over six years, one day I might actually ask you to marry me.

And finally, I would like to thank the readers, who I hope will learn to love my characters like I do.

Alex McCoy stumbled down the hallway, only partially awake. The pounding persisted and grew in its urgency. Not thinking to flip on the light, she swung the door open and looked into the dim corridor. Her senses were suddenly alert when she saw Jill Bishop’s distorted face. Jill smiled, but the effort caused her to wince.

Alex led Jill inside, making sure to secure the deadbolt behind them. In the living room, she turned on the table lamp to examine Jill’s face. She wished she hadn’t. Alex tentatively reached out and touched Jill’s cheek. Jill closed her eyes at the light touch of Alex’s fingertips.

“We need to get you cleaned up.” Jill nodded.

Alex guided Jill to the bathroom and helped her ease onto the closed toilet seat. Jill slumped against the tank, her arms hanging limply at her sides. Alex grabbed a washcloth, ran it under the faucet, and wrung out the excess water.

Turning back to Jill, Alex steadied her trembling hands, not wanting to inflict further pain. She lightly brushed Jill’s dishwater blonde hair away from her face before wiping around her dark brown eyes. Alex discovered she could not wash away all the red. She took a deep breath as she cleaned the blood from under Jill’s nose, then rinsed the rag and moved to Jill’s lips, causing Jill to flinch when the cloth brushed against the scab that was forming.

After Alex finished cleaning her face, Jill tried unsuccessfully to stand. Alex offered her arm for support, which Jill used to pull herself up. Once Jill was on her feet, she twisted a couple times, trying to remove her shirt; finally, she yanked at her sleeve, and her face went white. Her breath caught, and she grabbed the sink. Alex moved quickly and wrapped her arm around Jill’s small waist, easily supporting her full weight. Jill leaned against Alex, her head resting on Alex’s chest. She took several deep breaths before her breathing evened. Alex offered to help with her shirt, and Jill nodded. Alex gripped the bottom of her blouse and lifted it slowly, trying not to brush any part of her skin. Alex grimaced when she saw the angry red welts accenting the older purple and green bruises covering Jill’s torso. Trying not to stare at the damage, Alex helped her raise the shirt over her head.

In order to regain her composure, Alex turned away under the pretense of preparing the shower. She adjusted the temperature and flicked her hand under the jets to ensure the water was warming. Satisfied that it was, she opened the linen closet, pulled out a fresh towel, and draped it over the shower rod. Alex looked back as Jill was sliding her sweat pants down her narrow hips. Alex’s eyes widened when she saw the dark red blotch on Jill’s panties. Bile rose in her throat, but she forced it down. Jill stood naked and exposed, like a battered child. Alex wanted to comfort her, but didn’t know how, so she stepped forward and brushed a bloody wisp of hair from Jill’s eyes.

Jill stepped into the shower, and Alex picked up her discarded clothes. She left the room and hurried to the half bath. She barely had the toilet lid up before she lost the contents of her stomach. She stood over the toilet bowl for several minutes in case her stomach decided to rebel again. She flushed the toilet, splashed cold water onto her face, and ran her hand through her short hair. When she glanced in the mirror, she was surprised by how pale she looked.

She angrily took the bloody clothes into the laundry room, wishing she could burn them. Instead, she treated the blood with stain remover and threw them into the washing machine. She scrubbed her hands vigorously in the utility sink, erroneously believing blood covered them.

Alex could still hear the shower running when she went to the kitchen. She opened the pantry door and scanned the bottles. She located Jill’s favorite Pinot Grigio, and pulled it from the wine rack. She positioned the corkscrew over the top of the bottle and twisted. Still shaken, she missed her target and the spiral dug into the cork at an unnatural angle. Alex swore as she struggled to straighten the opener, so it would grip the cork enough to allow her to remove it. After some maneuvering, the cork popped out without leaving any remnants behind to fall into the wine. She emptied the bottle into two glasses and swirled the liquid to ensure it was free of debris.

When Alex returned to the bathroom, Jill was finished in the shower. Jill had slipped on Alex’s thick terry cloth bathrobe and looked small and frail as she wrapped it around herself. Without a word, Alex handed her one of the glasses. Jill’s hand was shaking when she brought the glass to her lips and the liquid sloshed against the sides. A thousand vise grips tightened around Alex’s chest when she looked at the shattered woman in front of her. Alex knew anger was the last thing Jill needed, so she choked down her rage and moved closer. She looked at Jill tenderly and tentatively reached out her hand. Jill responded by clutching Alex’s hand, but she still didn’t speak. Alex led her from the bathroom into the bedroom. The covers were askew from where Alex had been asleep not long ago. Jill stiffened when the two reached the bed but said nothing. Jill obediently got in, her demeanor suddenly making Alex uneasy. What little life Jill had left in her eyes flickered out, and she opened her robe.

“God, no.” Alex was unable to find any other words. She wrapped the robe tightly around Jill and covered her with a soft blanket.

Six Months Earlier

“Miss, you’re holding up the entire line. You’re gonna have to give me more money or put something back.” The young salesgirl looked at Jill with contempt and rolled her eyes at the man next in line. “This might take a while,” she said loud enough for patrons at the surrounding registers to hear. The man glared at Jill, removed his items from the counter, and brushed past the tall woman standing behind him.

Jill reddened. “Um, I’m sorry,” she stammered at the retreating man. Turning to the woman behind the counter, she repeated, “I’m sorry. I thought there was more money in here.” She held up an envelope with $150 written in neat print across the center while the other hand unconsciously twisted her hair.

“Well, apparently you were wrong. You only gave me $100, and your bill comes to $148.18. Do you wanna give me a credit card for the rest?”

“I don’t have a credit card,” Jill responded as she shuffled through the bags, pulling items out.

“No credit card,” the loud-mouthed salesgirl practically shouted, drawing more attention. “Who doesn’t carry a credit card?”

“Well, my husband, he—” Jill started and stopped mid-sentence, wondering why she felt the need to explain herself to this abrasive young woman. She certainly didn’t want the children witnessing her humiliation.

“It’s okay to put my dolly’s new dress back; she won’t mind.”

“It’s okay, honey; you don’t need to worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” Tears threatened to surface, but Jill choked them back. She would not let this woman humiliate her, especially in front of the girls.

“I’m going to have to void this order,” the salesgirl said, hitting the switch on the pole with more gusto than was necessary. The flashing light was like an arrow pointing at her, accentuating her humiliation. Her eyes remained downcast as she sorted through the items she’d pulled from her bags. She tried to do the math in her head, the whole time feeling the cashier’s eyes boring into her. Jill’s focus was on her task, and her hair cascaded around her face, blocking her vision.

“Here, that should cover it.” The woman behind her reached out, offering something to the cashier.

Jill stopped what she was doing, brushed her hair back, and lifted her eyes in the direction of the voice. She looked into the warmest brown eyes she had ever seen. The woman had a chiseled face, almost handsome, but the eyes softened her features. The look nearly brought tears to her eyes again, but instead she reacted with a shy smile.

“What do you want me to do with this?” the clerk responded, wrinkling her nose and holding up several crumpled bills.

“Stop harassing this poor woman and her children and complete her sale.” The woman’s warm eyes turned to steel when she looked at the clerk, but the warmth returned when she looked back at Jill.

“Of course, yes,” the clerk stammered and quickly started punching keys on her register.

“You might want to turn out that light.”

“Sorry, yes.” The saleswoman fumbled for the switch and flipped off the light.

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to,” she said, the authority in her voice evident.

Jill was shocked when the cashier turned to her and mumbled an apology. Jill pushed her hair behind her ear and simply smiled. She finished putting the rest of the bags in her cart and quickly left the register. She found an inconspicuous nook against the wall and gathered the girls around her. Jill watched the stranger complete her sale and turn toward the door.

“Excuse me,” Jill said softly.

The woman looked her way and smiled. Her intense brown eyes twinkled.

“I want to get your address.” Jill twisted her hair as she spoke.

With a subtle flick of her eyes, the woman motioned to the salesclerk, who was watching their exchange with interest. The stranger approached Jill, put her hand on the cart, and, without a word, led them toward the exit. Obediently, Jill followed with the girls in tow.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to act all James Bond on you back there. I just wanted to wipe that superior grin off her face. I didn’t think she needed to be involved in any more of your business.”

“Thank you so much; that was very kind of you. I want to get your name and address so I can send you the money I owe you.” Jill looked up from her groceries only once before quickly looking down again.

“Don’t worry about it. Next time you see someone in need, just pay it forward, then your debt to me will be paid in full.”

Jill looked up again and shuddered when her eyes met the kind eyes looking back at her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Jill said softly. “I’m afraid I haven’t been having the best of luck lately, and you know what they say about the kindness of strangers. You helped renew my faith in people today.”

“That’s all the payback I could ever want.” The woman paused, seeming to weigh whether she should say more. “I sensed something back there. I mean…I couldn’t help but notice that the world seems to be weighing on you, so I thought maybe I could ease it in some small way.”

“You did; thank you.” Jill unconsciously smoothed the wrinkles in her well-worn coat.

“Sorry; I’m making you uncomfortable. My friends say I should stop saying whatever comes to my mind. I didn’t mean to intrude. I should be going. I hope your day gets better.” With that, the woman turned and walked away.

“Wait,” Jill shouted before the woman could turn the corner. What in the world had gotten into her? She didn’t talk to strangers, let alone shout down the street at one. Jill unconsciously reached for the girls’ hands when the stranger turned around and walked back toward them.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m sorry; it’s just that I never got your name.” Jill fidgeted with her hair.

A broad smile broke across the woman’s face, and she laughed. Jill’s cheeks reddened.

“Hey, I’m sorry, it’s okay. I’m not laughing at you.” She lightly reached out and touched the arm of Jill’s coat. Jill looked down at the hand and felt herself reacting again. When was the last time someone had been so kind, someone who wanted nothing from her? She managed a smile and hoped her eyes did not betray her.

“I had a flashback from one of those stupid old TV shows.” She flashed a smile at Jill. “Do you remember the Lone Ranger? At the end, someone would always say, ‘Who was that masked man?’ Then someone else would say, ‘You don’t know who that was? That was the Lone Ranger.’ It just struck me as funny. I guess it doesn’t take much to amuse me, huh?”

“So, who is this rescuer of shoppers in distress?” Jill surprised herself with the playful comeback.

“Alex. Alex McCoy. And you are?”

“Jill,” she mumbled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Jill,” she said with more force.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jill. Now you won’t have to think of me as that mysterious stranger.” Alex winked and ran her hand through her short dark hair.

“I just wanted to…well, to thank you again for your kindness. The girls and I, well, I, well, we appreciate it. Don’t we, girls?”

Two sets of eyes looked up, but said nothing.

“Shy and quiet, just like their mom, huh?”

“Um, well, this is Jenna and Trina. Say hello, girls.”

Two tiny voices muttered hello in unison. Alex knelt in front of them and introduced herself. Jill was shocked when the girls began to talk to Alex when she asked them about their dolls. She looked down at the scene, a smile parting her lips. It was nice to see the girls talking to Alex, since they were always shy and withdrawn around others.

When Alex finished the conversation with Jenna and Trina, she stood and looked at Jill. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. Jill noticed the hesitation, so she looked at Alex questioningly. When Alex still didn’t speak, Jill added, “Was there something you wanted to say?”

Alex blushed. “Well, no…it was stupid.”

“Don’t they say there are no stupid questions?” She smiled and added, “But I guess they don’t say the same about statements, so I guess you better ask a question.” What was up with her? Was she really bantering with a woman she just met?

“Okay then.” Alex laughed. “You’ve convinced me to stick with my original question. I just have to warn you, it popped into my mind out of nowhere. I’m not usually into propositioning strangers on the street.”

Alex’s eyes got big, and Jill tried not to smile at Alex’s obvious discomfort. “What is wrong with me? You would think I just learned how to speak English. I did not mean propositioning. I better leave you ladies to your day, before I say something else stupid or inappropriate.”

There was a charm about Alex’s floundering that oddly put Jill at ease. Even though Alex exuded an air of authority, Jill sensed the vulnerability underneath. Jill was curious about what question could possibly have Alex so flustered. “No, please. I believe that you’re not into propositioning strangers. I promise, we won’t be offended by your question.”

“Okay, but please don’t feel obligated in any way to say yes; it was just something that came to mind on a whim. I’m not even sure where it came from.” With a nod, Jill encouraged Alex to continue. “Well, I was on my way to the park to get some ice cream, and I wondered if you ladies would like to join me?”

Jill hesitated, knowing they needed to get home soon. At Jill’s hesitation, Alex held up her hand. “No need to say anything more. I understand in this day and age you can never be too careful.”

“No, it’s not that. We just don’t have a lot of time.” Jill looked at the girls’ hopeful faces and realized she felt the same. “But it is a beautiful Indian summer day, and ice cream season will be coming to an end soon.”

“So, is that a yes or a no?” Alex asked.

“Why not! But we can’t stay too long. Ice cream and a round on the swings, then we need to get home,” Jill said to the girls.

“All right,” they said at the same time.

“All right,” Alex mimicked, her eyes twinkling. “Let’s get your groceries in your car before we go.”

Jill pointed behind her. “We walked. We only live three blocks back in Whispering Winds.”

“I used to have a friend that lived there. I haven’t been there in years, but her apartment was really nice.”

“They’re okay. Unfortunately, the elevator rarely works, and we live on the fourth floor. I guess it beats going to the gym.”

“Hey now, what do you have against gyms?”

“I’m sorry.” Jill reached for her hair and shifted her eyes to the ground.

Alex put her hand on Jill’s arm and waited for her to look up. Alex’s eyes still held their warmth, but they also showed concern. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to scare you. I was teasing. I work at the gym a couple blocks down from the park. It was a stupid joke since you didn’t know that.”

Jill smiled, appreciating the ease in which Alex offered an apology. Too many people thought apologizing showed weakness, so they rarely did it. Jill looked at Alex, noting she certainly didn’t look weak. She was several inches taller than Jill and had broad shoulders that tapered into a thick, but much smaller waist.

“Is that the big gym with the pool, the one with the really weird name?”

“That’s the one. So, are you just going to take your cart down to the park then?”

“That’s my plan.”

“I’ll race you,” Alex said to the girls. Before Jill could protest, the three raced around the corner, heading for the park at the end of the block. Jill jogged the short distance to the corner and watched the three run ahead. Jill marveled at the effortless stride that kept Alex running alongside the girls. The last forty yards, Jenna began to pull away from her younger sister. Jill gasped when Alex plucked Trina from the sidewalk and, without breaking stride, lifted her to her shoulders. She heard Trina’s delighted squeal as they closed the gap on her big sister. With ten yards to go, Alex moved beside Jenna and slowed her pace, timing it so they all burst across the imaginary finish line at the same time. Alex set Trina down and fell to the ground, feigning exhaustion. The girls followed suit and crumpled next to Alex.

Alex and the girls were lying on a bed of leaves, giggling and panting when Jill arrived pushing her cart.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” Jill said.

“I’m sorry.” Alex jumped to her feet.

“No, I, I…I didn’t mean it that way.” Jill faltered and backed up a couple steps. Her shoulders hunched, and she drew into herself, making it look as if her coat were swallowing her.

Alex started to step forward, but stopped. Instead, she stood very still and spoke slowly and softly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Jill looked through the hair that had fallen across her face. With only a slight hesitation, she pushed the hair behind her ear and looked directly at Alex. She straightened her coat and tried to formulate a response.

“It’s okay.” Alex gave Jill a reassuring smile. She put out her hand, palm up. Jill was stunned when she felt herself step forward and take Alex’s hand. The warmth felt good on Jill’s cold fingers. “Your hand is an ice cube.” Alex lightly put her other hand on top of hers. Jill noticed that Alex held on loosely and wondered if she sensed Jill’s skittishness.

“Cold hands, warm heart,” Jill responded. Her shoulders were beginning to relax and a smile parted her lips.

“I’m not sure what that says about me.” Alex laughed, still holding Jill’s hand.

“I’m starting to wonder about you. I started out thinking you were the Lone Ranger, but it turns out you just may be Wonder Woman. You picked Trina up like she was a sack of potatoes and never broke stride.”

“I’m not allowed to talk about my secret identity.” A twinkle played in Alex’s eyes as she released Jill’s hand. “Should we get our ice cream? I’m not sure your hands are cold enough, yet.”

Jill immediately missed the warmth of Alex’s hand, but enjoyed Alex’s playfulness. “You’re lucky I’m an ice cream junkie.” Jill noticed the look of surprise on Alex’s face. Despite her oversized coat, she knew it was evident that she was too thin. “Don’t think I’m naive. I know you’re trying to lure me with ice cream, so I’ll forget my quest to discover your identity.”

“Busted,” Alex chuckled.

It was late in the season, so the park was surprisingly empty despite the gorgeous day. Most of the vibrant orange and red leaves lay on the ground; few remained in the trees. The ice cream vendor would be closing for the season in another week, and snow would cover everything in due time. For today, with the temperature being so perfect, they could pretend it was a late summer day if they ignored all the obvious signs of late autumn.

Jill struggled to believe she was in the park with a complete stranger, eating ice cream and swinging. She was unsure what had come over her, but she hadn’t laughed this much in years. Alex put her at ease, the awkwardness of earlier long forgotten. Their conversation was effortless, which was even more surprising. Jill couldn’t remember the last time she sat with a friend, talking. She couldn’t actually call Alex a friend, since they just met, but there was an undeniable connection. The comfortable feeling must be loneliness, she reasoned, and the exhilaration was because of the crisp fresh air.

Once their ice cream was eaten, the girls abandoned them to explore the rest of the playground. Jill and Alex lazily continued swinging and soon discovered they shared a love for old television shows. The talk eventually turned into a spirited game of trying to stump the other with obscure television trivia.

“I give up.” Alex put her hands in the air in surrender. “You’re putting me to shame.”

Jill laughed and pumped her legs, trying to get more height.

“Oh, now you’re trying to beat me at swinging, too. I won’t go down that easily.” Alex pumped her powerful legs as well.

Jill felt alive as she soared higher and higher. She lifted her face to the sky, letting the warmth of the sun and the chill of the rushing air massage her face. For the first time in years, she felt completely carefree and wished this moment could go on forever. After several minutes, it was obvious she was reaching greater heights because of her smaller size.

“You might beat me in height, but watch this.” Alex jumped from her swing. She landed, raised her hands above her head, and hopped forward like a gymnast sticking the landing. “Nailed it.”

“I’m only giving you a seven-point-five. The landing was good, but the form in the air had a lot to be desired. Arms and legs were flapping everywhere, not much grace.”

“Man, tough judge. Let’s see if you can do any better.”

“Here goes.” Jill launched herself from her perch and felt incredibly free as she soared through the air. The exhilaration was short lived when she realized she had been higher than she thought and would soon hit the ground. When she landed, she continued running forward trying to right herself. Her feet were moving too quickly and they threatened to tangle, which would surely send her crashing to the ground. Just when she started to stumble, Alex stepped in front of her, arms outstretched. Jill’s forward momentum caused her to drive toward Alex’s body; however, the hard impact she expected never came. Somehow, Alex was able to give ground, yielding enough to steady Jill and gently pull her against her chest. Jill’s body relaxed as she leaned into the embrace, making no effort to let go. Alex was the first to move and tentatively backed away, her hands still holding Jill on each side.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Jill stammered. She was unnerved by how right it felt wrapped safely in Alex’s arms, but at the same time, she didn’t care and wanted to fall into them again. Jill returned to the moment when she noticed the panicked look on Alex’s face.

“Hey, I’m okay, really.” She tried to say more but giggled instead. Every time she went to speak, a new wave would start. The laughter was contagious, and soon Alex joined her.

As their laughs intensified, they dropped to the ground, landing in a pile of leaves. Jenna and Trina, worried that they were missing out on the fun, came running. They piled on top of Jill, who playfully rolled them in the leaves. Alex sat back and laughed as the girls tried to get the best of Jill. Eventually, Jill noticed and whispered to them. Without warning, Jill sprang and tackled Alex, pushing her onto her back. While Jill lay on top of Alex, Jenna and Trina climbed on the pile.

“We have you pinned. Are you ready to surrender?” Jill lowered her voice, trying to sound menacing.

“Never; a superhero doesn’t give up this easily.” Alex wiggled around, but made no real attempt to get free from the bottom of the heap.

“Say uncle, before we squish the breath out of you,” Jill teased.

“Who says I won’t squish you?” Alex wrapped her arms around all three, growled, and pretended to squeeze them hard, but exerted little pressure.

“No fair, we’re on top, we should get to win.” Jill pouted.

“Okay, fine. Uncle.” Alex had a wide smile on her face.

“Okay, girls, looks like this one is a wimp. We better let her up before she starts crying.” When she rolled off Alex, she caught a glimpse of her watch and let out an audible gasp.

“Oh God,” Jill said. “Girls, we have to get home.”

An internal war raged inside Alex as she watched Jill frantically pick at the leaves that clung to her coat. It was almost as if she were fearful of the leaves. There was an innocence and genuineness about Jill that drew Alex to her, but at the same time, there was something about Jill that haunted Alex. At times, an unmistakable guardedness would descend, and the light in Jill’s eyes would fade. Alex found she wanted to make Jill laugh, just to see the life dance back into her lovely brown eyes.

Alex wondered what caused such an abrupt change. Maybe rolling around like a couple of school kids embarrassed Jill, or maybe she sensed Alex’s reaction to her, and it made her uncomfortable. Whatever the reason, Alex knew the afternoon was about to come to a sudden end.

A wave of sadness washed over her when she realized that she may never see Jill again. Would Jill find it weird if she asked her to meet again sometime? She was unable to give it any more thought because of the rushed activity around her. The girls scrambled to get their coats, a panicked frenzy guiding their actions. What was she thinking? Jill had two small children; for everyone’s sake, she needed to savor the moment, but want nothing more.

“Thank you guys for a fun afternoon,” Alex said formally.

“I’m sorry that we have to run off, but my husband will be home soon, and I have to have his supper on the table.”

“I need to get back to work anyway.” The word husband cut into Alex, solidifying her decision to say nothing more.

“I’m sorry we kept you.” A guarded look returned to Jill’s face and she played with her hair.

“Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” Alex wished she could take it back, until she saw the hope that flickered in Jill’s eyes.

“That would be nice.”

“Goodbye, Jenna and Trina. It was nice meeting you. You take care of your mom.” Alex knelt to get down to the girls’ level. They both ran over and hugged her.

“Goodbye, Jill.” Not knowing what else to say, Alex turned away.

“Don’t I get a hug too?” spilled out of Jill’s mouth.

Alex smiled broadly and the light danced in her eyes. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Jill. Alex didn’t want to let go but was afraid of Jill’s reaction if she held on any longer. She forced herself to end the embrace, but failed to notice she was the first to let go.

“Take care.” The tightness in her chest made it difficult for her to speak. Without another word, she turned and started down the sidewalk.

“Goodbye,” she heard Jill say from behind.

Jill was putting away the last of the supper dishes when Steve walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door, and pulled out another beer. He paused to look at her, his eyes making their way up the length of her slender body. His eyes stopped at her breasts before he finally looked up. She hated the way he leered at her, but preferred his focus to remain on her body, so he wouldn’t look at her face. She intentionally wore her hair long, so it would partially cover her eyes, giving her a sense of invisibility.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight.” He popped open his beer. “You didn’t have much to say at supper.”

“I guess I’m just a little tired.”

“So, how was grocery shopping?”

“Just fine.” She put the last plate on the shelf and the cabinet door rattled as she closed it. She turned back and never saw the back of his hand until it connected with her cheek. Her back banged against the counter, and she crumpled to the ground.

“Don’t lie to me, bitch.” He towered over her. “Where did you get the money?”

The realization dawned on her; he had shorted the envelope. How could she have been so stupid? He was too meticulous to have made an error. He had set her up, and now she was going to pay for it. It would do no good to tell him about Alex and her kindness; it would probably make things worse. Before the next blow, she readied herself by disconnecting her mind from the moment. Her body still felt his fists, but her mind retreated to the safety of the park. The violence continued as she replayed the events of the afternoon in her head.

She didn’t know how much later it was when she came to on the kitchen floor. She crawled to the couch and wrapped herself in a blanket, trying to stop the shivering that wracked her body. A smile crossed her lips before she fell asleep, her mind and body back in the park, feeling the sun and Alex’s arms warming her.

Jill was confused when she felt the coldness on her cheek and reached up to explore the source. She winced at the pain the movement caused, and the memories came flooding back. She was getting too old for this. Her body was only thirty, but it felt like it was eighty. She felt the warm hand stroking her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, so the tears would not escape. Slowly, she opened her eyes and saw Jenna holding an ice pack to her cheek and Trina gently caressing her hair. She smiled, or at least tried.

“Good morning, my two angels. What are you doing up so early?”

“It’s not early,” Jenna said, the relief apparent on her face.

“What time is it?”

“It’s almost ten o’clock.”

Jill was startled and abruptly sat up. Pain left her seeing black and drove her back down onto the couch. Fear registered on the girls’ faces and they quickly resumed their posts.

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little under the weather,” she lied. As if they believed her. These two had seen too much in their young lives.

“It’s okay. We be nurses,” Trina answered, kissing Jill on the forehead.

“What would I do without you guys?”

“Did he find out about Alex and the park?” Jenna asked.

“No, honey, that’s our secret. You don’t need to worry about it; I’ll be fine.”

“I’m going to get some lunch,” Alex said when she ducked her head into Sarah’s office.

“Sure.” Sarah smirked and propped her feet on her desk. “How long are we going to keep up this charade?”

“What charade?”

“The one that I pretend to be ignorant, and you pretend not to notice I’m pretending.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked.

“How long have we been friends?” Sarah didn’t wait for an answer. “You still think you can fool me. This time I can’t claim that I have a special way of reading you. You’re an open book. Every day for a week, you leave at the same time, taking special care to get your little spiky hair all spiked up. You change out of your sweat clothes and put on your jeans and a nice shirt. Then you sprinkle on a little cologne and walk out of here with that goofy look on your face. And every day you come back from lunch, looking like someone ran over your puppy.”

“Is it that obvious?” Alex asked.

“No, I’m just a good guesser.” Sarah rolled her eyes. “I’m worried about you.”

“Why?”

“Umm, let’s see…she has two small children and a husband. Do you really want me to go on?” Sarah answered.

“Oh,” was all Alex managed, not bothering to call Sarah on her sarcasm. She looked down at the ground, feeling guilty and embarrassed.

“You haven’t exactly had the best track record with women. We’ve been saying for years that you need to pick a different type, but we certainly weren’t talking about a married straight woman.”

“I know.”

“I’m not trying to beat you up, just worried about you. That’s what friends are for, you know.”

“I know. I don’t know what my problem is. I can’t get her out of my mind. I know it’s wrong, and I know I’m stupid. But I don’t know what else to do.” Alex’s despair was palpable.

“You’re not stupid.” The look on Sarah’s face softened. “Go on and get some lunch. I’ll hold down the fort.”

“Thanks.” Not knowing what else to say, she left Sarah’s office.

Jill’s breath caught in her throat when she yanked on the vacuum cleaner that was wedged under the couch. She was starting to mend, but her body reminded her she wasn’t completely healed. Jill needed to keep moving and finish her chores before Steve got home from work. She knew her body well enough to know she was not in any shape to take another beating like the one she endured the week before. Even though she knew it wasn’t the best choice, she was saving the most difficult task until last. She had given up trying to deceive herself as to why she was taking this chance, but in her mind, it was well worth the risk. Her entire body ached, and the afternoon was going to be excruciating. A smile still played on her lips when she left the apartment.

The temperature had dropped by nearly thirty degrees since last week. She could see her breath, which was a reminder winter was just around the corner. She hated winter in the city, especially since she walked or took the bus wherever she went. The store was only three blocks away, but her coat was threadbare and did not provide the protection she needed. Several of the buttons were missing, so she pulled the coat as tightly as she could around herself. She knew if she put on a little weight, it might act as insulation, but it was difficult eating when her stomach was constantly in knots. There would be no enjoying the park today, she thought. She found herself going back to that day often in her mind, a place to be happy. A place to escape.

Alex picked at the remains of her sandwich and dejectedly searched the crowd once again. Last night before falling asleep, her thoughts were full of various scenarios of how she would meet up with Jill. When she woke up this morning, something told her today would be the day. She floated through her morning on autopilot, unable to remember what work she accomplished, if any. When she left the gym, she firmly believed her instinct was firing on all cylinders, and today would be the day. As she watched the hurried shoppers, she realized her imagined clairvoyance was simply faulty logic. She’d met Jill one week ago today. Something in the way Jill behaved convinced her she would follow a strict routine, which meant she should be grocery shopping again today.

Alex had been picking at her lunch for nearly an hour, staring out the window at the market across the street. She saw several shoppers enter the store, and watched the same people leave, pushing carts full of groceries. Great, I’m officially a stalker, she thought. She tossed her half-eaten lunch back into its bag and angrily crumpled the top closed. Two teenagers, who had been eyeing her table for the past ten minutes, looked at her hopefully. She would have felt guilty for her lack of consideration, had she not been so disheartened.

She made her way to the restroom, trying to convince herself she should forget Jill. She had been trying to convince herself of this all week, but just about the time she had herself persuaded, a scene from the park would flash in her mind, and she would be back where she started. She chastised herself for acting crazy. If Sarah were in the same situation, Alex would be lecturing her endlessly about the stupidity of her attachment to a married woman with two kids. Not just a married woman with kids, but also a woman she spent time with only once. She would question Sarah’s stability, just as she was questioning her own.

Jill’s stomach was still doing flip-flops and had been since she woke up this morning. She was unsuccessful at convincing herself the odds of running into Alex were slim at best. Try as she might, the optimism repeatedly silenced the pessimism. By the time she approached the store, despite her soreness, there was a spring in her step. She had to laugh at herself when a moment of dejection hit her. Had she really expected Alex to be standing outside the store, just waiting? Yep, that was exactly the way it played out in her mind. She’d watched too many movies and read too many fairy tales. God knows life doesn’t happen that way, especially not hers.

Jill’s eyes darted from face to face as she scanned the busy lunch crowd. She walked slowly, making sure to check out the people on both sides of the street. She reached the front of the store; no sign of Alex. She was still hopeful. Maybe Alex would be inside; after all, that is where they first met. She had forgotten how cold it was outside until the warmth blasted her when the door slid open. Jill stopped just inside and rubbed her hands together to warm them. She tried to appear casual as she took in the room, but her heart was racing. The only familiar face was the nasty cashier who had harassed her last week. Even though what she needed was at the front of the store, she decided to make a pass through the rest of the aisles.

Alex emerged from the restroom with fresh determination. While waiting in line for a stall, she had plenty of time to give herself a stern lecture. She reminded herself of all the things she would tell Sarah, had Sarah been the one to lose her mind like this. Even though she felt the lecture had done her good, Alex immediately began examining the crowd as she made her way through the eatery. Okay, so she would need a few more lectures, but they could wait for later. She was sure Sarah would help her out on that front.

The man in front of her threw open the door and a blast of cold air slammed into her, making it difficult to catch her breath. Despite the cold, Alex took her time crossing the street, her eyes continually returning to the area around the store. She paused when she got to the front of the building; an internal battle raged. Should she go back to work and give up this adolescent game, or would she always regret not going in?

By the time Jill made it to the last aisle, the spring was gone from her step and a slow plod took its place. She didn’t have time to feel sorry for herself. She needed to get on with her chore, or she would never be done in enough time. Jill forced herself to pick up the pace as she approached the checkout counters. Her bad luck continued; the mean cashier was the only one without a customer. What the hell, she thought. She felt lousy enough, she might as well wallow in it a little more. Jill stepped up to the counter and unconsciously reached for her hair. Recognition slowly registered in the clerk’s eyes. She glanced behind Jill to ensure there were no reinforcements.

“Hi.” Jill tried to sound friendly, hoping to neutralize the rude woman. The cold stare that greeted her caused her to look down at the money in her hands.

“Yes,” the clerk responded.

“I need to purchase ten bags of salt, but will only be able to take two at a time. I’ll need to return for the rest.”

“Well, I guess you’ll have to buy two now, come back and buy two more, and so on.” The clerk gave Jill a smug smile.

“But that will take so much more time. Could I please just buy them now and have them set aside?”

“Do we look like Nordstrom? You’re in a discount store. We don’t do that kind of thing here.” To emphasize her point, she looked toward the salt, and suddenly stopped. “Ya know, I think we could probably do that for you.”

Jill had been shuffling her money, not wanting to look at the hateful woman. Without lifting her head, she cautiously raised her eyes. The clerk had turned from Jill and was punching in the transaction, muttering that she would get a stock boy to pull the salt and put her name on it. Jill stared at her with a puzzled expression, but the woman continued to focus on the register. Jill turned toward the salt display, trying to figure out what had caused such a change of heart. Her eyes widened when she looked at the pile.

Alex hesitated for only a second before pushing through the door. She had come this far; she might as well go in before she gave up her stalker ways. This was it, though, she promised herself. Alex looked toward the checkout lines, and her heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t suppress the silly grin that tugged at the corners of her mouth. She was unsure how to approach, so she jumped up onto the pile of salt, letting her legs dangle. She watched the sneering salesgirl talk to Jill.

Jill hurried over to the salt pile. Alex nonchalantly remained on her perch, trying to exude a sense of cool. Her exterior did not match the excitement that fluttered inside her body. Despite the differences in demeanor, both sported similar grins.

“We need to stop meeting like this,” Alex joked.

Jill started to speak, but instead she stammered. She felt exposed and was afraid Alex would see through her. What would Alex think of her if she found out their short time in the park had meant so much to her? Would Alex be able to understand if she knew Jill had survived the last several days by replaying moments from their time together over in her mind? Alex would undoubtedly think she was pathetic or crazy. Jill’s enthusiasm drained. A cold blast of air hit her when the outside door opened. The cold and fear of exposure caused her to draw her coat closed and wrap her arms around herself.

“How have you been?” Jill asked with no affect.

Alex’s smile faded, and Jill was sure it was her cold demeanor that had extinguished it. Alex ignored Jill’s question. “I’ve been hoping to see you again.”

“Really?” Jill felt a sense of hope returning, but didn’t want to appear too eager.

“Actually, I’ve been keeping my eye out for you all week. I’ve been across the street for over an hour having lunch, just hoping that you would be here. And well, I finally gave up and was heading back to the gym when something told me I had to look one last time.”

“I’m glad you did.” Jill wanted to say more or at least smile, but her fear caused her to remain stoic. Jill knew Alex sensed her guardedness, but hoped she could also feel Jill’s deep yearning for connection. She saw the internal struggle raging in Alex’s eyes, and felt guilty that she was causing it.

“I had a really nice time last week,” Alex said, the caution in her eyes replaced by the familiar warmth. “I can’t count the number of times I thought about you and the park, and without fail, it made me smile. Then I was afraid that I would never see you again. I kicked myself for not getting your last name or phone number. The thought of never seeing you again, never talking to you again, was just something I wasn’t willing to accept. This might sound strange, but I missed you.” Alex’s eyes widened. “Oh God, I told you my friends accuse me of saying much more than I should. I’m sounding like a crazy stalker, aren’t I?”

“No,” Jill answered. She reached out, put a reassuring hand on Alex’s arm, and looked into her eyes, the same eyes she had seen so many times in her mind the past week. The kindness she saw there made it easier for Jill to say, “I was hoping to see you too.”

“Seriously?” Alex asked, her eyes lighting up.

Jill took a deep breath and pushed through the fear. “I’ve thought about the park, too. I wish I could tell you how much I enjoyed myself, but I’m afraid I’m not as good with words as you are. I was scared to death you would ride off into the sunset, just like the Lone Ranger, and be the mysterious stranger I never saw again.”

Another blast of cold air rushed in; she shivered and hugged her coat tighter against herself. Alex removed her own coat, put it over Jill’s shoulders, and drew it closed in front. Despite the intimate nature of the gesture, it seemed perfectly natural. The coat still held Alex’s body heat, and Jill immediately felt warmer.

“Thank you.” Jill rewarded Alex with a shy smile. “Aren’t you going to get cold?”

“I’ll be fine. I have a lot more padding than you do. Besides, your coat doesn’t look thick enough for this weather.”

“I guess it has seen its better days.”

“It seems we are being watched.” Alex gestured toward the clerk who was staring with interest. “Would you like to get a cup of coffee to warm you up?”

Reality returned and Jill frowned. “I’m sorry; I can’t.” She wanted to hug Alex when she saw the disappointment on her face. “I’d love to, though,” she continued, hoping to save the moment. Alex looked at her, but said nothing. “You see, I have to get ten bags of salt up to my apartment before my husband gets home from work.”

“Holy shit, what kind of monstrous water softener do you have?”

“It’s not for a softener. My husband puts it in the back of his truck. I guess it helps weigh it down for the winter.”

Alex’s eyebrows drew together and a puzzled look crossed her face. “Why doesn’t he just stop at the store on his way home?”

“He’s really busy.” Jill fidgeted with the zipper on Alex’s coat and looked at the salt pile when she spoke.

“I can help you load the truck, then there will be plenty of time for coffee.”

“I don’t have the truck.”

“How are you planning on getting them back to your apartment then?”

“That’s my wagon.” Jill pointed to a small children’s wagon next to the salt. “I just have to take several trips. No big deal.” Jill hoped she was convincing in her carefree attitude.

“At least you won’t have to lug them up four flights of stairs.”

“Good memory. But actually, I do. He wants me to put them in the apartment. He’s afraid someone may steal them if I leave them outside.” Jill reached for her hair and began winding it around her finger.

“You’re already freezing, and it’s not getting any warmer out there.” Alex’s eyes narrowed and she scowled. “That shit’s heavy too.”

“I’ll warm up once I get moving.” Jill shuffled from one foot to the other, and reached for her hair. She felt defeated, but didn’t want Alex to see her distress. She knew Alex was staring at her, so she needed to do or say something to divert the attention.

Alex opened her mouth to speak, but instead put her hand on top of Jill’s cold hand. Jill looked up and felt a flicker of hope return. “I’ve got an idea.” Alex pulled a cell phone from her pocket. “I’ll call in the cavalry. We’ll get the job done in no time, and then you’ll have time for coffee.”

Jill’s first thought was to refuse the help. What if Steve found out? Instead, she smiled and asked, “What do you have in mind?”

Alex hit speed dial, and Jill could hear the phone ringing on the other end. “Leave it to me. I have…”