3,99 €
Mehr erfahren.
- Herausgeber: Tektime
- Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
Nickie Daniels has always known about being abandoned as an infant and her adoption that followed. What she didn’t know was that she’s a shapeshifter.
When a rattlesnake bite rips her from the life she’s always known and forces her into a world she never knew existed, Nickie must scramble to keep up.
Now her best friend Brandon insists she’s his mate. But it’s not him she’s drawn to. The man she can’t walk away from is Devon. He should be able to shift, but somehow can’t. He’s felt out of place and abandoned for years.
As Nickie tries to navigate hazards and pitfalls of her new life, can she choose between the man who claims her and the one she can’t resist?
Das E-Book können Sie in Legimi-Apps oder einer beliebigen App lesen, die das folgende Format unterstützen:
Seitenzahl: 488
Ähnliche
Change
Melissa Stevens
Copyright © [Year of First Publication] by [Author or Pen Name]
All rights reserved.
No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.
For my husband and children, without them and their unyielding support this would never have come to be.
For the girls from the Cafe, you know who you are, I never would have found the courage to do this without you.
Contents
1
IT WAS EARLY June, and I had big plans for the weekend. Today I was going hiking over a new trail with Brandon, my best friend. We’d been friends since kindergarten and I thought of him almost like one of my brothers, only he didn’t torment me like they did.
It was Friday, and the day had dawned beautiful and clear. We planned on a full day trip, and had already let our families know where we were going to be. I’d even packed my lunch the night before so I had one less thing to do before we could leave that morning.
At just after six, the sun and I had both been up for almost an hour, and I was nearly ready. I ran the brush through my hair, smoothing it into the ponytail I was forming on the back of my head. Winding an elastic around the tail, I turned and looked out the window, and saw a familiar car pull into a parking space in the lot below me. I picked up the brush again and finished brushing out my hair as I watched the tall athletic frame climb out of the car and head around the end of the building. I was adding the last of my things to my backpack when a knock sounded on my front door.
“It’s open!” I yelled.
“You always just holler at anyone who knocks on your door at six in the morning that the door’s open? And why exactly is the door open while we’re at it?” Brandon demanded as he walked in.
“Just the ones I’m expecting,” I said, zipping my bag before looking up.
“So you were expecting me, so what? It still could have been anyone at the door,” he said, still intent on the point he was trying to make.
“Could have, except that I saw you pull in as I finished my hair. And I unlocked the door a couple of minutes ago, just before grabbing my lunch. I knew it was you, Brand.”
“Ok, fair enough. I’m just looking out for you, Chica,” he said, his tone much calmer now, his hands up in front of himself as if in surrender.
“I know,” I told him calmly, “and I know you only push the issue because you care. Otherwise you’d be choking on your balls right now.”
“Jeez, Nickie, don’t bottle up your emotions like that, you’ll get hurt. You need to learn to express yourself or someday it’ll all come exploding out. Then where will you be?” he asked, deadpan.
I didn’t bother responding other than to flip him off as I turned to go use the restroom one more time before we headed out. When I returned I asked him, “You got everything you need?”
“Everything but you and your pack.”
“Then let’s get a move on, we’re burnin’ daylight,” I said flippantly as I picked up my bag and slung it over one shoulder. I led the way out and turned to wait for him to exit the apartment before activating the lock on the door behind us. He looked confused, as if he didn’t quite understand but I didn’t explain the film reference and let it drop.
The drive out to the parking area where we had planned to start our hike took us about forty-five minutes, by then it was almost seven and the day was starting to warm up. It was still relatively cool but it was already hinting at the heat that the sunshine and desert floor would bathe us in. We strapped our backpacks onto our backs and I tucked my Personal Communication Device, more commonly known as a PCD, into the pocket of my jeans where I could easily reach it, and we took off.
We started out headed west away from the cars, the ground was rough and uneven but I was used it and I moved over the loose rubble and small rocks with ease. We followed what appeared to be a wildlife trail. A path made by frequent passage of animals like deer and javelina, it was narrow and winding but had very little overhanging brush, so it was a pretty easy walk. As we walked over the still flat ground I called out to Brandon.
“What have you been up to lately?”
“Not much, work, sleep, eat. You?”
“About the same, throw in spending time with the family and you have my life.”
“I’m glad we were able to get out today, it’s a beautiful day and I really needed the escape from life for a while and this is a great way to do it.”
“I agree,” I said continuing along the trail that was starting to turn and lead uphill. “Careful through here, it’s really loose,” I warned him as I placed my feet carefully to keep from losing my balance as the bits of rubble that had washed off the mountain above us rolled and shifted under them.
Several minutes later we came to a spot where water running down the hill had washed away the softer soil leaving a sharp drop off that was taller than I was. I stopped and waited for Brandon to make the last few steps up beside me. When he reached my side I could see that the obstacle wasn’t quite as tall as he was, but that didn’t mean that either of us could get over it alone.
“We’re gonna have to work together for this one,” I said.
“Yep,” He replied. “How do you wanna do this, you up first or me?”
“You’re gonna have to go first, I can boost you from the bottom but I don’t have the strength to pull you from the top.”
“Makes sense,” he said, nodding. “You ready?”
“You wanna go up with your backpack or should we take them off and hand them up separately?”
“Let’s try it with them first, we can always take them off later if we need to.”
“Ok,” I said, moving to one side of where we wanted to go up the face and bent down on one knee so that the leg that was in front was placed for Brandon to step onto.
“Will that work for you?” I asked.
“I think so, let’s try it.” He reached up and braced his hands on the top of the small cliff before he carefully placed one booted foot on top of my knee.
“Ready?” He checked with me. At my nod he quickly pushed up onto my knee and used his arms to pull his body up onto the ledge, like one would lift themselves out of a pool. Seconds later he was standing on top of the small cliff looking down at me.
“How are we gonna do this?” I asked, craning my neck to look at him. “There’s nowhere for me to step on my way up.”
“Just stand right there,” he pointed to where he had gone up the cliff face, “And hold both arms above your head. I’ll do the rest.”
“Are you sure you can lift me?” I asked, skeptical.
“Pretty sure,” He sounded confident, “But we won’t know for sure until we try, will we?” He stood right at the edge he had just climbed over. “Come on, let’s give this a try.”
I looked up at him and he bent down until he was almost sitting on his heels and reached his arms down to take mine. I extended both my arms over my head and reached past his arms to grip his wrists as he wrapped his long fingers firmly around my wrists.
“Are you ready?” he asked, looking at my face for signs of fear. I nodded and he started to stand up, using his legs instead of his back to pull me up the rock face. He kept an eye on my face, I guess he was watching for signs of panic in case I started to struggle. I resisted the urge to try to walk my feet up the cliff face, knowing it would only push my body away and possibly over balance us both. Instead I settled for bending my knees and using them to crawl onto the ledge as soon as I was high enough. He stepped back slightly, keeping his grip on my arms as he asked, “You good?”
“Yeah,” I said, releasing his arms as he let go of mine before I stood up. “I wasn’t sure that would work, but I’m glad it did.”
“Me too,” He said. “You want to take a break here, or continue to the top of the fan first?”
“I’m ready to go if you are. You didn’t pull anything lifting me like that, did you?”
“Nah, I’m fine, let’s go then.” He turned to take the lead for a while.
It was mid-afternoon when it happened. We’d already stopped for lunch and started making our way back, taking a different route. This one wasn’t as clear of trail but the going was easier, which was good as I was starting to feel a bit fatigued. We had stopped a couple times on the return trip but I admit, I wasn’t being as careful as I should have been. I was walking along thinking about something else, I don’t even remember what anymore, but my mind wasn’t on where I was going or what was around me. I tripped over a rock, stumbling for an instant before I fell to my hands and knees.
The fall jarred me back into the present, knocking the breath out of me and leaving me momentarily dazed. I heard a buzzing sound, but didn’t register it for what it was. I thought it was just my ears ringing from the jarring of the fall. Crap, that’s what I get for not paying attention. I heard Brandon stop on the trail ahead of me, and without even thinking about it I tried to get up. I’d already started moving, trying to push myself up with my arms so that I could get back onto my feet, when I spotted it.
By the time I realized it was a snake, it was too late. He was already in mid-strike and I didn’t have time to avoid getting bitten. He’d seen my movement as a threat and was only doing as his instincts demanded and defending himself. I felt the fangs as they pierced the denim of my jeans and sank deep into my flesh of my calf, and the hot, burning sensation as the venom pumped into my body. The snake quickly disengaged his fangs from my leg and escaped across the sand, having already done his damage and hopefully slowing the threat long enough to let him get to safety.
“Oh, shit,” I said, my mind spinning in panic so intense that I couldn’t put more than the two words together, even in my head.
I froze, trying to slow my mind so that I could think and not just react.
“What is it?” Brandon asked, backtracking to my side to see what had happened.
“Snake. It got me,” I told him, speaking in short gasps as I struggled to calm my mind enough to think.
“Rattler?”
“Yep.”
“Where?”
“My right leg. On the calf.” I was starting to be able to think again. What are we going to do now? We’re still at least a half mile from the car, and there’s no way I can hike it now. It’ll take hours for anyone to get out here to us, if they can even find us and do they even keep anti-venom in the area anymore? My mind was still racing but I could at least make out my own thoughts. I knew I had to keep from getting hysterical, that would only pump the venom through my body faster. Stay calm.
My skin suddenly felt too small, as though it were shrinking but the rest of my body had stayed the same size. My whole body started stinging. Wow, I didn’t know that snake venom acted this fast.
Suddenly, or at least it seemed sudden to me, I felt like things were starting to move inside my body, bones and muscles moving into new places. I must be starting to hallucinate. The thought only drove my panic faster. I felt as though I had lost control of my body. Suddenly it all stopped, the burning pain of the bite, the stinging in my skin, the sensation of bones and muscle moving and grinding against each other beneath my skin.
Have I died? I wondered, confused. I’d never heard of a snake bite numbing like that, I’d always been told how painful they were and how a victim suffered the pain for years, if they survived that is. Something strange was happening to me and I had no idea what it could be.
I looked up at Brandon. He was standing next to me, and I could see the surprise on his round face, not panic, not fear, just surprise. I tried to speak to him, to ask what was going on, but all that came out was a high pitched whine. What the hell was that? It was a sound I had never heard from my own throat in my life. It was a sound more like a puppy would make than a human.
“Well, I’ll be damned!” Brandon said, running one hand through his short brown hair, “I’d given up the hope it would ever happen.” His voice seemed very loud, almost as though he were screaming instead of speaking. I whimpered and ducked my head, trying to pull my shoulders up around my ears.
“Whoops,” Brandon said softly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Sorry, I forgot how sensitive your ears are when you change the first time.”
Change, what did he mean change? He bent down on one knee and reached one hand toward my face, I felt his hand under my chin as he lifted my face to look into my eyes. I knew something was different, but I didn’t know quite what.
“Are you OK?” he asked gently, still speaking very softly. “Do you feel better now?”
I tilted my head to one side, as I thought about what he had asked me. It was gone, all of it. The pain from the bite, even the sting of my hands where I’d caught myself when I fell. What’s more, thinking about it made me realize that I felt really good, like I could run back to the car and laugh the whole time. I wasn’t even tired anymore, a little hungry, but not tired. I tried to say so to him but this time it came out as a short bark, which made me jump and look around me. What the hell was that? I could hear Brandon chuckling at my reaction,
“It’s okay.” He sounded reassuring. “Do you think you can walk back to the car now?”
I started to get up and that’s when it hit me. I was no longer walking on two legs, instead I was on all fours. I twisted around and looked at myself and I was so surprised I fell on my butt, my body was no longer my own and this one didn’t function in quite the same way. I was now in the body of a dog of some kind, a big brown one that looked almost red in the sunlight. I turned and looked at Brandon again and whined, scared at not knowing what was going on. I couldn’t think about what was happening right now I had to just go, when it was over and I was safe I would have time to question it, and to have a breakdown if I needed to. Right now I just had to go on.
“You’re all right, trust me, it’s okay. Let’s go back to the car. I’ll explain it all, but you’re gonna want to be human so that you can ask the questions I’m sure you’ll have, plus you don’t have any other clothes here. And trust me on this, you do NOT want to hike through this stuff naked,” he said, motioning to the thorny mesquite and rough creosote brush that surrounded us. He picked up my backpack by the carry handle at the top and that’s when I noticed that the arm straps were broken. He stood and started back down the path we’d been on, headed toward the car. I whined and barked at him, refusing to move from where I was standing. He turned around to look at me.
“What?” he asked.
I nosed the shredded remains of my clothes, smelling the acrid scent of the venom on my jeans as my nose brushed the rough cloth.
“You shredded ‘em, just leave them.”
I refused to give up and I sat down, indicating to him that I was staying with my clothes. After watching me for a couple of minutes he came back and stuffed the remains of the clothing into my backpack.
“Happy now?”
Satisfied he wasn’t leaving my things behind, I silently stood up and padded along the path toward the car.
Once I started moving it only took me a few minutes to get used to the way my new body moved, to get the hang of walking on four legs instead of two. After that first few minutes of fumbling around and tripping over my own feet the trip seemed much faster than I thought it should be. I have to admit that I found moving on four feet through the brush and over boulders much easier than hiking on two, but I tried not to think about it. I was just going to have to wait for answers, and freaking out in the meantime would do me no good. When we reached the parking lot Brandon went around to the driver’s side of the car and unlocked the doors. I followed him, not willing to let the only person who knew what had happened to me out of my sight.
“I’m glad we brought my car instead of yours,” he said, opening the rear door and motioning me into the back seat. “Hop in, I’ll be right back.” He moved away from the still open door and toward the rear of the vehicle. If I’m in the car he won’t be going anywhere without me, it’s not like he’s gonna walk all the way back to town. I reasoned with myself as I hopped up into the backseat, turned a small circle on my feet and then sat down to wait for his return. It was only a couple of moments later that he appeared in the doorway, slid into the car and sat down on the bench seat next to me. He was silent for several seconds, his expressive golden brown eyes focusing on the stack of folded clothes he held in his lap as if he didn’t know where to start.
He cleared his throat as he turned to face me. “Okay, here are some clothes for you. Don’t worry, they’re clean. I need you to listen closely and try to do exactly as I tell you. All right?” He looked directly into my eyes. By now I knew better than to try to speak, so I just nodded my head once, maintaining eye contact. “You’re going to need to concentrate, picture your body, not as it is now but your human body, focus on that image. You have to will yourself back into that body, to want to be like that enough that your body shifts. Do you understand?” I nodded again, unsure I could do what he was asking, but really, what other choice did I have? “I’m going to leave these here for you. I’ll get out and close the door, then I’m going turn my back and wait. You’ll need to knock on the window, or open the door when you’re dressed and then we’ll talk, Okay?”
Not seeing any other option, I nodded. He slid off the seat and out the still open door, before turning around and setting the stack of clothes on the seat where he had been sitting. He looked at me again briefly before he closed the car door and turned away. Through the window I could see him lean against the side of the car, as though he were patiently waiting for someone to walk out of the desert in front of him. He pulled his PCD from the front pocket of his jeans and it looked like he was making a call, but the enclosed car muffled his voice enough so that I couldn’t hear what was being said.
I felt a little lost, Can I really be me again just by doing what he said, by thinking about and wanting to be me again?
I sat for just a moment, wondering how this could possibly work. Has Brandon ever lied to you? Would he ever do anything to hurt you? I trusted Brandon and if he said I could do this, then I could, I just had to do what he told me to do.
I took several deep breaths as I tried to relax some of the tension in my body, closed my eyes and concentrated on clearing all the outside thoughts from my mind. I pictured my body just as I had seen it this morning in the mirror. I started at the floor and worked my way up. I could see my feet standing on the tan carpet of my bedroom floor, the teal nail polish I had applied to my toe nails earlier in the week. I worked my way up, picturing the round bones on the outsides of my ankles and the muscles in my calves, and there was the small scar just below my left knee from a fall off my bike as a child. I could see my thick, muscular thighs, the rounded shape of my rear sloping up to my smaller, but not quite slender waist, and up farther past the generous curves of my breasts to my face.
I concentrated on my round face, the large green eyes that dominate my face. I pictured in my mind my full lips and auburn hair, curling gently as it had settled around my shoulders while I brushed it out before pulling it up. I thought of how badly I wanted to be back in that body. When the tingling sensation all over my skin started again it surprised me, and I almost lost the mental picture of myself, but I managed to ignore it and I continued to will myself back into my body, to concentrate on how badly I wanted to be me again. The tingling intensified until it was almost stinging, and I felt my muscles begin to stretch and my bones start to shift and grind against each other.
After what seemed to be several minutes the uncomfortable sensations started to fade, they slowed to a stop, no more bones shifting, or muscles popping, even the tingling faded until I felt normal once again.
I opened my eyes and anxiously looked down at myself, half afraid of what I would see. I was sitting naked, but human in the back seat of the car. I scrambled to quickly put on the too large clothes that Brandon had left for me, worn, soft, sweat pants and matching top, but no shoes. If he had any they probably wouldn’t have fit anyway. I leaned across the car and knocked on the window to let him know I was decent. He looked relieved when he turned and popped the door.
“Climb up into the front, let me grab something and then we’ll talk.” He closed the door again before heading for the back of the car.
As I climbed between the front seats and settled into the passenger’s seat I heard the trunk open and close again before Brandon came back around and got into the driver’s seat beside me. He handed me a couple of protein bars “Eat up.”
I looked at the bars he had put into my hands and scrunched up my face in distaste.
“Those things are nasty,” I said. He didn’t say anything but took one back and opened the packaging, I could suddenly smell the bar inside and I realized I was starving. Before I knew it I had them both gone. When I realized that I had just eaten both bars in under a minute I was embarrassed at having inhaled the food, and with little memory what kind of manners I might have shown in doing so. It must have shown on my face, because Brandon chuckled.
“Don’t worry about it, Nick. I know how hungry shifting can make you, especially when you’re healing at the same time, that’s why I went back and grabbed them. They aren’t going to be enough, but they’re all I have. They’ll take the edge off, and hopefully hold you until we can get you something better to eat.”
“So, what’s going on? What do you mean you know hungry shifting can make you? I’ve figured out what you mean by shifting, but how? How is it possible? And how can I be healing so fast? I noticed when I got dressed that wound from the snake bite is healing, it’s not possible! Am I hallucinating from the venom?”
“Been saving all your questions up, huh?” he asked me, laughing softly again, his smile showing the deep dimples in his cheeks. “No, you aren’t hallucinating. You really did change shapes. The process of shifting most likely pushed the venom from your body and at the same time healed the worst of the damage that it had done.”
“You’ve lost your mind and I’m hallucinating, or better yet, it’s all just a nightmare and I’ll wake up and it will be Friday morning.”
“Do your dreams ever hurt like the snake bite did? Mine don’t. You’re not hallucinating or having a nightmare, Nickie.”
“But it can’t be true - I must be going crazy…”
“Nope, not crazy, just Kitsune,” he told me, interrupting my ranting.
“Kitsune?” I repeated. I’d never heard the word before.
“Yep, Kitsune, we’re a species of shape shifters.”
“There’s an entire species of people who turn into dogs?”
“Actually, we’re not dogs, we’re wolves. But that’s not exactly what the Kitsune are. There are several different animal forms that different Kitsune can shift into, though, generally it’s limited to only one animal form per person. You’re a wolf, I’m a wolf, and there’s an entire pack of wolves in Gila Valley.”
“An entire pack of wolves around here? Now you’re the one who’s dreaming. I’ve never seen a real wolf before, at least until I was one, and I’ve lived here all my life.”
“Not real wolves, Nickie, Kitsune wolves, there’s a difference. Though, you should know, the accepted phrase is natural wolves, not real, because we’re just as real as they are.”
“Okay, not real wolves, natural wolves. How can there be an entire pack in the valley and nobody knows about it?”
“Actually, there are a lot of people who know about it, the pack members, but very, very few outside the pack. Our secret is well kept.”
“How did I become…Kitsune? Is that what you call it? I’ve never been bitten by a wolf, and I’m sure it’s not something I would forget.”
Brandon rolled his eyes. “There’s only one way to be Kitsune, you’re born one. Kitsune can only be born, there is no other way to become one of us. The biting thing is pure myth, Hollywood and fantasy novels.”
“News flash, Brandon, so are werewolves,” I couldn’t help but point out.
“Point.” He conceded. “You’re going to find that some movies and fantasy novels aren’t as make-believe as you thought. I know it’s hard to believe but I’m not lying to you. I wouldn’t do that to you and you know it.” He said calmly, and I shifted in my seat, feeling guilty that I had suspected him of doing just that.
“You’re sure? I mean about the whole wolf thing.” I asked, looking out the passenger window to avoid looking at him.
“Absolutely certain. Look, do you mind if we head back into town while we talk? While you were shifting back to human I called the Anikitos, our pack leader, and he’s expecting us. I’d prefer not to be late and risk angering him.”
“Do I have to?” I asked, apprehensive at the thought of meeting the leader of the local wolf pack. I tried to think of everything I had ever read about werewolf packs and their leaders and nothing I was coming up with was reassuring.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Plus he’ll have a lot answers for you that I don’t. I may have been raised as one of us, but I’m still pretty young, and honestly, not all that high in the pack. There’s a lot that I just don’t know.”
“Okay, but you have to promise not to leave me alone. I don’t want you to just drop me off at some stranger’s house and leave me. I’m uncomfortable enough with everything that’s happening to me as it is, without being told what to believe by some stranger.”
“I’ll promise you that I won’t leave you alone with the Anikitos unless you want me to, all right? You may decide after meeting him that you don’t want me around.”
“I can’t see why I would do that, but if you say so I’ll take your word for it. You’ve done nothing but help me this afternoon and I thank you for it,” I said. Brandon started the car and pulled out on to the highway that headed back toward town.
2
MY CONFUSION ONLY grew as Brandon pulled up in front of Bill Hayes’ house. Bill had been my father’s best friend for as long as I could remember. Why on earth were we here when Brandon said he was taking me to see the pack leader?
When Brandon opened his door to get out, I asked, “Why are we at Bill’s house?”
“You know the Anikitos?”
“I don’t know who this Ani-key-toes you keep talking about is, but I do know that this is Bill Hayes’ house. Bill is Dad’s best friend. I’ve known Bill my whole life.”
“Do you trust him?” Brandon wanted to know.
“Well, yeah, of course I do.”
“Good. Then this’ll be easier for you. You already know he’s not going hurt you, and you know you’re in good hands if you, or he, want me to leave.”
“You keep acting like one of us is going to throw you out or something. Why would we do that? You’re my friend, you’re telling me that you and he are the same thing I supposedly am, so why would we throw you out?”
“It’s a Kindred thing, and he’s the Anikitos, the boss. If he says jump I ask how high and then I do it. End of story. I know you don’t get it now, but later you’ll understand. Maybe not right away, but eventually, you’ll get it. I just want you to be prepared, in case it happens.”
“Okay, if you say so, I’ll take your word for it. Let’s just get this over with,” I said, opening my door and climbing out of the car. The heat of the day rushing in to smack me in the face after the cool temperatures from the air conditioning in the car. I was starting to feel the ravening hunger I had felt earlier return. “When we’re through here can we find something to eat? I’m starving.”
“I don’t see why not, but let’s see how things go here before we make any solid plans.”
He had already made his way up the short walkway and was standing at the door by the time I managed to tiptoe around the car on my bare feet.
I’m so glad that Bill keeps this place so shady, it’s saving me from burning my feet now. Brandon rang the doorbell while I was still padding carefully up the sandstone walkway. By the time I got to the door, it been opened and Karen, Bill’s wife, was standing in the open doorway.
“Alekto, I offer my apologies for showing up without warning, but the Anikitos ordered me to bring Nickie to him as soon as possible,” Brandon said to Karen in a formal and subservient tone. It baffled me as I’d never seen Brandon behave in such a manner. I looked back and forth between the two of them and I noticed that Brandon was carefully avoiding looking Karen in the face. What’s going on here?
“Not a problem, Brandon. Bill told me you would be coming. I’m glad to see you both, come on in, Bill’s in his office. Nickie,” she said, turning to face me for the first time, “You know where it is. Please let Bill know I’ll be there in just a moment. Is there anything I can get for you on my way?”
My stomach chose that moment to let us all know just how hungry I was, it growled loudly. I felt the blood rush to my face as I blushed bright red.
“Did you have anything to eat after shifting?” she asked kindly.
“I had a couple of protein bars,” I said, trying to pretend that had been enough to satisfy me.
“Oh, dear! Is that all?” She seemed surprised.
“Sorry, Ma’am, it’s all I had in the car, and the Anikitos told me to bring her straight here,” Brandon put in apologetically.
“Ah, no worries then,” she smiled. “I’ll just put something together for you, and then I’ll bring it in with me. You two go on in and see Bill though, he’s waiting for you.”
I led Brandon down the hall toward Bill’s office. I’d been here many times before with my Dad and I’d thought I knew Bill well, but apparently not as well as I had thought. I wonder if Dad knows about Bill being some kind of werewolf leader? I didn’t know Karen quite as well, but we’d always gotten along well. The door to Bill’s office was standing open, and I stuck my head in first, looking to make sure he was actually in there before I just walked in. He looked up from the papers he had been studying on his desktop and I could see a smile jump to his face, as though he had been unsure who was coming in the door.
“Nickie!” he said as he stood up, pushing the wheeled chair backward with his movement. He skirted his desk and approached me. “I’m so glad to see you, and that you’re safe and sound too.
“Why don’t you come on over here and have a seat? Then you can tell me exactly what happened today,” he invited as he guided me with an arm around my shoulders toward the sofa and chairs arranged into a conversation area at the opposite end of the long, narrow room from his desk.
“I thought Brandon already told you what happened?” I asked, confused. I took a seat in my favorite of the large black leather chairs. Curling my bare feet under me as I settled into the comfortably familiar overstuffed seat. I could remember many hours spent in this same chair over the years, listening to Bill and Dad talk.
“He did, but I’d like to hear it from you, if you don’t mind,” he told me as he sat down on the matching leather sofa across from me. Only Brandon was still standing, he looked uncomfortable and like he was waiting to be told what to do next.
“If that’s what you want, I don’t mind. Oh!” I said, suddenly remembering. “Karen said she’d join us in a few minutes, and to let you know.”
“That’s fine…” Bill said, and he, almost absently, pointed at Brandon and then to the other chair in the seating area, silently ordering him to have a seat, but his eyes never left me.
I was quiet for a moment as I tried to decide what to say. “Where do you want me to start?” I asked, does he want just the shift or what led up to it, or everything that happened to me in the last few months since we’ve seen each other?
“Wherever you want to. Where were you, what were you doing? Tell me as much as you feel comfortable with.”
“Ok…” I said, deciding to start with this morning. “Well, Brandon and I left early this morning…” I told Bill what happened, getting caught up in the memory of it. “The next thing I knew I was looking up at Brandon and he just looked so surprised. He said something like he thought it would never happen, and at the time I had no idea what he meant. It was several more minutes before I realized I wasn’t human anymore.”
“You were, and still are the same person you’ve always been, Dear, you just weren’t in human form,” Bill said firmly. “Remember that. You are always you, no matter what shape your body takes. You were still able to think weren’t you?” I nodded. “Then you’re still you. End of story.”
I nodded, accepting his reassurance, and continued my story, “He picked up my back pack and told me to follow him back to the car. I have to admit it took me a few minutes but once I got the hang of it, the trip was a lot easier on four legs instead of two. Anyway, we got back to the car, and Brandon got these out of the trunk,” I said pulling at the loose black sweats I was wearing. “He told me how to shift back. After I got dressed, he gave me a couple of protein bars, he told me I’m not crazy and I’m something called Kitsune, and that you and he are too, and then he brought me here.” I turned to look at Brandon. “Why did you have these in the trunk anyway?” I asked.
“I always carry an extra set of clothes,” he said, shrugging.
“Oh.” I only have clothes in my car for specific reasons, so I didn’t know what to say.
“Can you tell me exactly how you managed to shift back to human form?” Bill asked, once again taking control of the conversation.
“I just listened to Brandon and did what he told me to do. I pictured my human body and concentrated on how badly I wanted to be back in it, and it worked. When I opened my eyes I was normal again.”
Bill turned to Brandon, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, and asked, “And you didn’t help her?”
“No, Sir, that’s not something I have the talent for. I just told her how to do it. I was hoping that she could manage it on her own. If anyone has the force of will to manage their first deliberate shift without help, it would be Nickie,” he said. I found his confidence in me startling, but at the same time comforting and reassuring.
“And what would you have done if she hadn’t been able shift back on her own?” Bill questioned.
“Wait a second,” I interrupted, feeling myself start to panic again. “Are you saying I could have been trapped as a wolf? That I could have been unable to shift back?”
“Kind of, but not really, or more accurately not for long.” Bill said gently. “I’ll get to that in a minute, but I want this answered first. Just give us a second.” He turned back to Brandon and his voice hardened. “Well?”
“I’d have brought her here to you. I called you while she was trying to shift, I didn’t know if she would manage it or not at that point. If she hadn’t managed, I would have told her what I could and kept her as calm as I could while I brought her to you. I know that our Harmonia has the talent to call and restrict animal forms, and once I got Nickie to you, you would have been able to see to it that Nickie got the help she needed to shift back to human form.”
“Very well,” Bill said, seeming to find the answer acceptable. He turned back to me and his tone softened again, as if he had gone from speaking to an employee to a beloved family member. “As Brandon just said, we have someone who would have been able to help you to return to human form. Being stuck, as you put it, would only have been a temporary inconvenience.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to relax away some of the tension that had seized my body when I thought I could have been trapped as a wolf. “Now, how are you feeling? Physically, at least, I’m sure your mind is spinning at all the new information.”
“Honestly? I’m starving.”
“That’s to be expected. After all, you’ve shifted, not once but twice, and healed the snakebite too I’m sure, in a very short amount of time. Changing shapes takes a lot of energy, even shifting once will make you hungry, and two energy bars aren’t nearly enough to replace what you’ve burned. I’m willing to bet if I know my wife,” Bill smiled fondly as he thought of Karen, “That’s what’s taking Karen so long. She’s taking the time to fix you something to eat.”
“She did say she was going to put something together before she joined us,” I recalled.
“Very well,” he said. He turned to Brandon and again his voice cooled as he spoke to him, “You’re free to go.” It sounded like a dismissal and I looked at Brandon, expecting him to protest being treated like a subordinate.
Brandon looked at me and asked, “Are you all right here without me or do you want me to stay?” I saw Bill’s eyebrows rise at this, as though Brandon’s not immediately leaving surprised him.
I turned back to Bill. “When Brandon told me he was taking me to see the pack leader, I had no clue who that might be, and I admit I was more than a little nervous. I made him promise not to just drop me off or leave me somewhere I wasn’t comfortable. He promised that he wouldn’t leave me anywhere without my permission.” Looking back at Brandon I said, “I’m fine here if you want to go. Bill will take good care of me and see to it that I make it home, I’m certain.”
“Of course,” Bill agreed easily.
“But I’m going to need my backpack out of your car, it has my PCD and some other things I’m gonna want in it.”
“No problem, I’ll bring it in before I go. Give me a call when you can, we’ll get together,” Brandon said before turning back to Bill. “If you’ll excuse me, Sir.”
Bill nodded and Brandon backed out of the room, almost as though he didn’t want to turn his back on Bill.
I must have had a confused look on my face because Bill asked me, “What has you so baffled, dear?”
“Him, you, all of it. I’m going to ignore everything that’s happened to me today and just let that process for a while. But what I can’t understand right now is Brandon acting almost afraid of you. I’ve never seen him act like that before with anyone but you, and Karen when we got here.”
“It’s not fear exactly, more like healthy respect. I’m the Anikitos for our pack. The pack alpha, for lack of a better term. It’s a position I had to earn by battle and dominance. Simply put, I’m the strongest and the most powerful in the group, and I have the right to punish or have punished anyone in the pack, as I see fit, and Karen as well, though her title is Alekto. Normally he’s not quite so submissive, but I think he was a bit afraid that after you were injured and shifted so suddenly I would be angry. Maybe a bit more so after he found out how well we know each other.”
“Oh.” I was still confused, but not sure what else to say. I was still watching the doorway that Brandon had left through, but I wasn’t really focusing. I’d let my eyes go distant as I thought about what he was telling me.
“Now,” Bill said, changing the subject. “Would you mind showing me the wound where the snake bit you?”
I shook my head slightly, jarring myself from my thoughts of what he had told me about Brandon and pulled my attention back to him.
“Not at all.” I scooted forward in the chair pulling my right leg out from underneath me and sliding the elasticized bottom of the leg on the ill-fitting black sweats up to my knee. I carefully propped my bare foot on the edge of the table that was situated between the sofa and chairs and leaned my leg to one side so that the spot we were looking for was on top. “Here it is.” I pointed to a spot on the side of my calf. “You can see the marks, but they look days old and mostly healed now, more like healing scrapes than any kind of puncture or bite.” I looked from them up at him and back down at my leg again. “I really don’t understand how that can be.” I tilted my head to one side and watching him for his reaction.
Bill slid forward in his seat until he was just barely seated on the edge of the couch and leaned forward so that he could get a better look at the marks on the meaty part of my calf. He reached forward with one hand but stopped mere millimeters shy of touching me. “It appears that your shifting has healed any damage that the venom might have done, not that it had time to do much damage and it’s well on its way to healing the wound, too.”
“It wasn’t quite this healed when I shifted the second time, in the car. I could still see a wound, it was starting to scab over but now it looks at least a week old.”
“That’s not uncommon, the worst of the damage was healed when you first shifted, it healed more with your second shift and now your body’s working on finishing up.”
“But how? I just don’t understand.”
“Well, I wasn’t there, so I can’t tell you for certain, but I can give you my best guess based on my experience with Kitsune healing…”
“Okay,” I said as I waited to hear what he could tell me. Maybe he’ll say something that will help me understand what’s happening to me.
“Well, we already know that you panicked, you admitted it when you told me what happened today. I would place bets that your panic in turn sent your wolf into a panic. Though you have yet to know her, your wolf knows you well since she is a part of you, and she knew that if you were in a panic then you and therefore she, was in danger of dying. So she took charge, forcing you to change. The process of your change itself pushed the venom back out the open wound and healed any damage that it had done so far.
“You said that you were bitten, panicked and then found yourself in wolf form. I’m assuming this happened in the space of just two or three minutes? There probably wasn’t a great deal of damage yet, so the healing needed for that would have been minimal.”
“It seemed like hours at the time, but in reality, it was probably no more than two minutes. Brandon wasn’t far ahead of me on the trail. I heard him stop when I fell, and it probably took him less than a minute to cover the distance and by the time he managed to reach me, he looked so surprised, so I must have already shifted.”
Bill nodded. “That makes sense,” he said as he moved to sit back on the couch again. “I realize this has to be more than a little bit of a shock to you.”
“What did Brandon mean when he said he thought it would never happen? How could he know that I might someday shift?” I pushed the leg of the sweats down my leg and settled back into the chair again. The discussion about the process of my shifting reminded me again of the statement. “And you don’t seem particularly surprised, why not?”
“I’m not surprised. I’ve known for years that there was a possibility that you would shift. And Brandon knew it was a possibility, because I told him.”
“And you never said anything to me? What about Dad?” Bill was shaking his head and I knew he hadn’t told Dad either. “Why would you say something to Brandon, but not to us?” I couldn’t hide the hurt and confusion in my voice.
“I couldn’t, not until I knew if you were actually going to shift.”
“What do you mean? If you could tell that I’m one of these Kitsune, how couldn’t you know if I would shift?”
“Because being a Kitsune doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be able to shift, you can be one of us, but not shift. To be Kitsune, you either have one or both parents who are shape-shifters, but having either doesn’t guarantee that you will be able to shift yourself. I’ll simplify it some. You took Biology while you were in college, didn’t you?” I nodded. “Think of it in terms of genes, the ability to shift is a dominant gene. But sometimes something goes wrong and someone who should shift for some reason can’t. It may actually be some kind of genetic defect that we haven’t found yet. If you have one human parent and one Kitsune, any children they have will be shifters. If you have two Kitsune parents, the children will most likely be shifters, but it’s not guaranteed. It is also possible for two non-shifting Kitsune offspring produce a shifting child, but it is rare, and can only happen with the first generation of non-shifters. Either way, shifting or non-shifting, they are still Kitsune.”
“So, basically, what you’re telling me is that one or both of my birth parents was a Kitsune?
“Certainly.”
“Well, I guess that’s more than I’ve ever known about either of them before…”
“I’ve put a lot of thought, and a bit of money toward investigations, into your situation over the years. And before you ask, no, your father has no clue of the research I’ve had done into where you came from.
“As far as I can tell, it’s most likely that if it was just one parent, which I believe it was, it was your father who was Kitsune. The way some people are, it’s entirely possible he may have never even known of the pregnancy or you. I can also say with some certainty, that if your mother was Kitsune her pack either never knew of her pregnancy or she told them she had miscarried. I checked with other packs all over the country when you were a baby and there was no knowledge of who you could belong to.
“Because you were one of the first baby’s surrendered under the Safe Haven laws, it’s impossible to know much about either of your parents without some kind of DNA test to prove the relationship. They just didn’t get that kind of information then.
“I’m giving you all the information I’ve been able to find out, but it’s not much. You were under 72 hours old when a young woman handed you to a fireman in a Phoenix fire station, so the date of birth that your parents were given is accurate within a day or so. The records of your surrender say that she told the firefighter that she couldn’t take care of you like you needed, that your father never knew you existed, and that she hoped you would be given to someone who could give you the life you deserved, and then she left. There was a cursory search through police and court records to make sure there were no babies reported missing, no custody disputes that you could have been part of, and then you were put up for adoption.
“Her story supports my theory that it was your father that was Kindred, most Kindred girls, if they find themselves pregnant with a child they just can’t raise or don’t want, will find someone among the Kindred who is more than willing to take the child in. We don’t, as a practice, voluntarily give up our children to people who don’t know what we are.”
“It sounds like you tried to find out who gave me up.”
“I did. Not that it would have changed your life much. I never would have done anything to try to have you taken from your parents, but I could have had a better idea whether or not you had the ability to change, and I could possibly have let you in on the secret earlier. If I had known more I could have made this less of a shock to you.” I nodded, glad he could see that my parents love us all just the way we are, and that he cared enough to try to find out where I came from.
“I knew the first time I saw you, when your parents first brought you home, that you had Kindred blood. I could tell by your scent that you had the blood of a shifter. The offspring of a non-shifter doesn’t have that Kindred smell unless they’ll be able to shift. But I had no way of telling if you would have the ability to shift or not. Since the shifting of the Kindred isn’t tied to the moon, it’s also possible that even if you could shift that you never actually would, since you wouldn’t know to try. That’s part of why I tried to find out where you had come from.”
“Not tied to the moon? You mean I won’t turn into a wolf every full moon?”
“Not unless you choose to,” he said. “Not only are we not forced to change on the full moon, we aren’t forced to change ever. Yes, your shift was sudden and unexpected, but I wouldn’t consider it forced. It was your wolf’s way of saving you. The moon has no effect on us at all, it’s not easier to change during the full moon, the new moon or any other time.”
“But I thought we were werewolves?”
“No. Werewolves are pure fiction, though they may have some, slight, basis in fact. Some Kindred choose to shift during the full moon, because they can see better, unfortunately, they are also more easily seen. It doesn’t take a silver bullet to kill us, though, don’t get me wrong, a sliver bullet will do the job, but so will most others. We aren’t immortal, we just heal faster than most. Any wound that would be instantly fatal will still kill us.”
“I see.” I tried to think. “Why tell Brandon that I might shift?”
“Brandon came to me after his first shift and told me that he could tell you were Kindred. I explained to him what he needed to know. And just as importantly, how he couldn’t say anything to you about it, but that I needed him to watch you for signs that you would or had shifted
“So Brandon has only been my friend because you ordered him to watch me?” I asked, feeling betrayed. I wondered how I couldn’t have known he had been my friend because he was ordered to.
“Actually, no. Brandon has been your friend for how long? Since you both started Kindergarten together, right? That makes what, twenty years?”
“Yeah, about that.”
“Brandon was sixteen the first time he shifted. So if you’ll the math, you’ll see he was your friend for eleven years before he came to me. And for the record, I only told him to watch you, to keep an eye out for you, because he was already your friend.”
“I see.” I calmed down and told myself to stop jumping to conclusions. I really wasn’t sure how I felt about the situation but it was more than a little upsetting to be finding this all out now.
“Generally, Kindred children are raised knowing what they are, or what they could be.” Bill continued. “They’re taught to keep the secret from their first words and steps and somewhere in their mid to late teens, they’re taught how to shift. Shifting’s not impossible to shift before then, but it’s uncommon. It generally only happens in life threatening situations, when an animal form fears for its life and forces the change, like yours did.
“For someone who had no clue what she was or what was going on, to suddenly shift and manage to shift back to human so soon, and without help, is really a big deal. It’s uncommon for someone who’s known what they are their entire life to manage the first shift without help.”
“But I did have help, Brandon told me what to do, how to shift back.”
“That’s not the kind of help I mean. What I mean is another Kindred either feeding you power or helping by forcing your animal form to retreat.”
“Kindred? You’ve used the word several times now, what do you mean by it?”
“Kindred is a term we use among ourselves, instead of pack or Kitsune. It helps to protect our secret from normal. If they never hear you refer to Pack or Kitsune, they can’t get suspicious and start asking questions. Kindred is an old fashion term for family, more commonly it’s shortened to kin these days. But we use the full word, and it means a member of the pack or Kitsune.”
I was silent for a moment, unsure what to say. I was saved from having to say anything when Karen walked into the room carrying a plate filled with chunks of fruit and cheese.
