Don't Let Me Go E-Book

Rachael Sommers

• Herausgeber: Ylva Publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 381

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012

Beschreibung

Faking a relationship with your bestie might be fun…if you weren't crushing on her gorgeous, grumpy, older aunt. A lesbian romance filled with fighting, flirting, and feisty ice queens. New Yorker Kenzie Wilson agrees to play a fake girlfriend for her best friend for a family Christmas vacation in an idyllic Portuguese town. It's no hardship for Kenzie…until she meets Alice's aloof, rude, and annoyingly attractive aunt. CEO Carolina Costa returns to her family's home after years of estrangement. About the only thing making the dreary reunion worthwhile is meeting her niece's new "girlfriend." Making her squirm is vastly entertaining. It doesn't take long for Kenzie to creep under Carolina's walls, which is concerning. It's even worse when the truth comes out, because Kenzie being free—and interested—might mean Carolina having to risk her own heart. And there's no way she's ever doing that…

Leseprobe

Table Of Contents

Other Books by Rachael Sommers

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Epilogue

Other Books from Ylva Publishing

About Rachael Sommers

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www.ylva-publishing.com

Other Books by Rachael Sommers

Love Next Door

In Too Deep

Chemistry

Fool for Love

Never Say Never

Acknowledgments

First and foremost, thank you to Astrid and the rest of the Ylva team for all of the hard work that they do, and for making this book a possibility. I can’t believe this is #6! I am incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to work with such a wonderful publisher.

Without my beta readers, Sarah and Yan, this story wouldn’t have reached its full potential. I am so grateful for the time you spend reading endless drafts, and for the constructive feedback you give me. I’d also like to thank my Twitter followers, for assuring me that the plot of this book was something they’d all like to read—I’m not sure I’d have written it if not for you.

To my editors—Lenir, for tidying up the initial draft and for the copy editing, and Genni, for the content edits—thank you so much for your time, and for making this story the best it can possibly be.

I also have to thank the wonderful guide who showed me around Sintra and made me fall in love with it. Walking around such a beautiful place, I knew I had to set a story there. The hard part was deciding which one! Thank you also to Inês, for checking my Portuguese and for giving me much-appreciated insight into your culture.

Chapter 1

Tick, tock.

The noise of that goddamn clock grated on Carolina’s nerves as she sat in an uneasy silence in the office of one Dr. Jada Campbell, watching the minutes tick by behind Jada’s head.

Was it supposed to be comforting? Encourage Jada’s clients to want to spill their guts?

All it ever served was to make Carolina want to stick her fingers in her ears. Which, considering the ridiculous amount she was paying her therapist for her time and discretion, would be a waste for them both.

The room was warm, the heating cranked up to ward off the icy chill of the November Manhattan air outside. Carolina tugged at the collar of her pressed white shirt, which suddenly felt suffocating. She was glad she’d discarded her blue pinstripe blazer before settling into Jada’s comfortable armchair.

“Was there something in particular you wanted to discuss today, Carolina?” Jada was the first to break the barrier. Her voice carried the hint of a Jamaican accent, though she’d been raised in Brooklyn. “We’ve been sitting here for,” Jada glanced at her watch, “ten minutes so far, and you haven’t said a word. Is it your mother? Are you regretting your decision to not go to her funeral?”

Carolina curled her lips into a sneer. “No.” Call her cold-hearted, but hearing the news her mother had passed away—twenty-four years after tossing Carolina out of her house with a warning never to darken her door again—hadn’t filled Carolina with the desire to hop on a plane and fly across the Atlantic. She’d only gone to her father’s funeral at the tender age of seventeen because her mother had dragged her there. Safe to say she’d never had a good relationship with either of them. “Though I suppose it is related.” With a sigh, Carolina pulled out her phone and set it on the low coffee table between herself and Jada, the screen open on an e-mail from her oldest sister.

Since receiving it two days ago, Carolina had read it so many times she could recite the damn thing word for word.

Carolina. I understand why you didn’t come to the funeral. If I were in your position, I probably would have done the same. But now she’s gone…I was hoping we could make amends. Do you remember the Christmases we used to spend in Sintra when we were younger? The whole family, all together for a few weeks of the year. Clara and I are planning to start the tradition again, now Mother is gone, and we thought it would be a good opportunity for us to re-connect. We’ll be there with our families from December 6th for four weeks. There won’t be many of us—just Clara and Chris, me and David, and our daughter, Alice. I’m not sure if you remember her. She was just a baby the last time we saw one another. Plus an old family friend. I hope you might be able to bring yourself to come along, too, if only for a little while. It would be good to see you. Please let me know what you decide to do. Mariana.

“Ah.”

Was that all Jada had to say? She’d been treating Carolina for five years, knew all of her miserable history with her family, and ah was all she got?

“So.” Jada pushed the phone back before tilting her head to one side, green eyes settling on Carolina’s face, her Montblanc pen poised above her notepad. “Have you decided?”

“I’m not going.” While Mariana was right—Carolina had spent countless hours in her parents’ house in Sintra, and some of the memories were fond—she hadn’t seen her sisters since she was twenty-two years old. Neither of them had been brave enough to openly defy their mother and keep in contact with their ousted sister.

Carolina didn’t need her family—and they sure as hell hadn’t been shy about the fact they didn’t care about her, considering twenty-four years had passed since they last spoke.

The purse of Jada’s lips told Carolina she disagreed with that decision.

“So why are you here?” Jada said. “If your mind is set, and you are sure in your decision, why bring it up at all?”

Carolina clenched her jaw, fingers digging into the arms of the plush leather armchair she sat in. Her black nail polish stood out sharply against the light gray material.

“Or is the issue that you’re not so sure you’re making the right choice?”

Tilting her head back, Carolina stared at the brilliantly white ceiling. Jada was one of the best of the business—it was why she commanded such a large fee—but to be read so easily, when Carolina prided herself on being a closed book, still stung sometimes.

“Is the issue that, despite all of the bad history between you and your sisters, a part of you misses them? Longs for some sort of familial connection?”

Carolina lifted her head to shoot Jada a poisonous glare. “I do not long for anything.”

Realizing her mistake, Jada extended her palms toward Carolina. “You’re grappling with the decision, though. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. Do you want me to talk you into it? Give you confirmation that not going is the right choice?”

“You’re not going to do either.” Carolina had spent enough hours sitting in this chair being observed by Jada to know that. “Why am I debating it? Why does a part of me want to go? We haven’t spoken in years, I should want nothing to do with them.”

“What they—and your parents—did to you is unforgivable. And you are well within your rights to never forgive them, or hear them out, or subject yourself to their presence. But…”

When Jada trailed off, Carolina met her gaze.

“You are also well within your rights to do all of those things. To try and mend the bridges that have been burned. All three of you are bonded by the trauma of your childhoods; perhaps this is an opportunity for you, now that both your parents are gone. They don’t have any power over you anymore.”

“But it won’t change anything. Won’t erase anything.” Wouldn’t take away any of the things that had led to her needing a therapist in the first place. “Not to mention the logistics of it all. The time difference, the meetings I’d have to re-schedule.” Running a tech conglomerate wasn’t without its challenges. “Plus leaving Andie to hold the fort on such short notice.”

Not that Andie would care in the slightest. She’d probably relish the challenge; Carolina had chosen her right hand precisely because she and Andie were so similar.

Jada acknowledged her with a titled head and a kind smile. “While that’s all true, those are minor inconveniences that are easily solved. And as for it not changing anything—you’re right. It won’t. But it could be healing. It sounds like your sister wants to try, and the fact you’re here suggests to me that, deep down, you want to try as well.”

* * *

“Well, I have a girlfriend, too.”

Kenzie glanced up from her book to frown at her roommate sitting on the couch beside her with her phone pressed to her ear. She knew for a fact Alice did not have anything of the sort.

Kenzie would be the first person she would tell if she did.

Alice told her everything.

Often more than she ever wanted to know.

Kenzie had tuned out of the conversation some time ago; Alice could spend hours talking to her mother some days. But at Alice’s words, Kenzie listened more intently.

“I do.” Alice’s voice turned defensive, as it always tended to when she spoke to her mother. She wound a tendril of long blonde hair, dyed a shade or two lighter than Kenzie’s, around her index finger—a telltale sign she was anxious. “I haven’t told you because it’s new. But maybe the family reunion would be a good time for you to get to know her.”

What the hell was Alice doing? She didn’t have a girlfriend. Certainly not one she could drag along on her upcoming family vacation. Which was a month long.

Kenzie shuddered, unable to think of anything worse than spending four weeks stuck in the same house as Alice’s parents and her extended family. Even if it was in her family’s house in the rolling Portuguese hills. The one and only time Kenzie had met Alice’s intimidating mother, Mariana Costa, she’d been regarded with open disdain.

Alice herself didn’t want to go; she’d been guilted into it by her mother, and had been whining to Kenzie about how much she wished she could stay with her in New York.

When Alice’s gaze settled on Kenzie, she recognized the look in those emerald eyes.

It spelled trouble with a capital T.

With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Kenzie realized what Alice was about to say as her mouth opened.

“You remember my roommate, Kenzie?”

“Don’t you dare. Alice, I swear to—”

Alice ignored her warning. “Like I said, it’s new, but we’re happy together.”

Lunging across the couch, Kenzie flung her book down and attempted to grab Alice’s phone.

She easily batted Kenzie’s hands away.

“I’ll be happy when I kick your ass,” Kenzie hissed.

Alice scrambled upright and backed away towards her bedroom door.

Racing after her, Kenzie’s socked feet skidded on the hardwood floor and she nearly crashed into their tiny dining table, catching herself with a hand on one of the chairs.

“So, she can come?” Alice’s lips curved into a smile. “Excellent. Thank you, mother.” Hanging up the phone, she pocketed it and turned to Kenzie with a sheepish expression.

“What the hell, Alice?”

“I panicked!”

“Well, un-panic!” Kenzie gestured toward Alice’s pocket. “Call her back and tell her it was a joke.”

“I can’t do that. You know how badly she took me coming out as bisexual.”

“Exactly! So you shouldn’t lie to her and tell her you have a girlfriend when you very much do not!” Frustration bubbled through Kenzie as she followed Alice back to the couch; the green leather creaked as they sat. Kenzie wished she could say it was the first time Alice had tried to drag her into a wild scheme. “Why did you lie, anyway?” Kenzie should’ve listened to the beginning of the conversation, but she’d been too into her book. She couldn’t imagine what could have possessed Alice to do something like this.

Alice bit her lip. “So…do you remember Jonathan?”

With a frown, Kenzie searched her memory. In the eight years they had been friends, they’d met a lot of people. Thanks to Alice, for the most part—she was much more of a social butterfly.

But the name did ring a bell… “Jonathan as in your high school sweetheart?” When Alice and Kenzie had met in Alice’s first month at NYU—Kenzie had been a junior at the time—Alice had still been heartbroken. “What the hell does he have to do with anything?”

“He’s coming. To Portugal. Our families have always been close. And his mum died a few months ago. Apparently his dad isn’t coping well, so they’ve invited Jonathan to spend the holidays with us to try and take his mind off it, and give his dad some time to grieve alone.” Alice sighed. “And he’s bringing his new girlfriend.”

“So? How does that result in you needing a fake girlfriend?”

“I can’t turn up sad and single. I’m twenty-six! What will he think?”

“What’s so bad about being single at twenty-six? I’m two years older than you—what does that make me, a spinster?” Kenzie ducked when Alice tried to sock her in the face with one of the couch cushions.

“Be serious!”

Kenzie wrestled the cushion out of Alice’s hands. “I am! Why do you care what he thinks, anyway? Don’t tell me you’re still not over him.”

Outrage crossed Alice’s face. “It’s been years, of course I’m over him.”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

“I don’t want to face him alone.” Alice drew her knees to her chest, her bottom lip jutting out. “Or my aunts. You know I’m dreading this.”

“So why on earth would I want to join you?!”

With a groan, Alice buried her face in her knees. “Look, I know I’m not exactly selling this, but please, Kenz? We can make it fun. And it’ll be so much more bearable with you there.”

Kenzie couldn’t think of anything less fun. “I can’t. I have a thesis to write.”

“You could write it in Portugal,” Alice said, far too reasonably. “You’ve finished your lab work, right? What does it matter if you’re here or in Portugal?”

“I don’t know what my advisor would say about that.”

“He’d think it was a great idea, I bet. Doesn’t he think you work too hard?”

Alice was right. He would encourage her to “see if she could find inspiration writing somewhere new”. It was the kind of philosophy that drove her crazy about him.

“Regardless, I can’t afford a month in Portugal.”

“My parents will cover most of it. And I can handle everything else. I’m getting my bonus soon.”

Kenzie sighed. While her doctoral program was fully funded, her wages were nothing compared to what Alice received as a junior lawyer, following in her parents’ footsteps.

“How have you managed to score a month off, anyway?”

Alice shrugged, expression turning sheepish. “Nepotism? My boss couldn’t exactly say no when two of the partners of Costa, Costa and Endrick requested my presence. I just have to keep on-top of my cases. But come on, Kenz. We’ll have a blast, I promise. We can escape the dreary December weather and soak up some winter sun. It’s beautiful there. You’d love it.”

Kenzie did love traveling and exploring new places, though her chances to do so had been few and far between.

Goddammit, how was her resolve cracking?

“I have met your parents before, Alice. They’re terrifying. I can only imagine that the rest of your family is the same.”

“They’re not so bad. And there won’t even be that many of them! Just my parents, and my Aunt Clara and Uncle Chris. And my Aunt Carolina…but I don’t even know her. She’s been estranged from my mum and Aunt Clara for years. I bet they’ll leave us alone for the most part.”

Kenzie shook her head. She didn’t want to go anyway, but add in awkward family drama? It sounded like hell. “Or they’ll be all over us because they disapprove. They’ll probably accuse me of turning you bisexual! Your evil lesbian roommate, turning you over to the dark side.”

Alice snorted. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me!”

“It’ll be fine.” Alice slung an arm around Kenzie’s shoulders and squeezed. “Besides, think about it—this is a good opportunity to show them all how healthy and happy a same-sex relationship can be.”

“Except it’s a lie.” Kenzie shook her head. “No. No way. This isn’t happening.”

“Please, Kenzie? I’ll do anything. Anything you want. And won’t it be nice to have some company for the holidays?”

Huffing, Kenzie leaned away and folded her arms. “Are you really pulling the sad orphan card?”

“I don’t like thinking of you being here all alone for a month at the happiest time of the year.”

“Funny. I don’t recall it bothering you the last few years we’ve lived together when you’ve spent them back in London.”

“We don’t have to spend that much time with my family. I promise it’ll be great.”

Kenzie thought about it. Without Alice around, the apartment did start to feel lonely as Christmas crept closer. She enjoyed having the place to herself at first, but walking to campus past all the brightly decorated houses and the families playing in the snow often left her with a pang in her chest.

It had been six years since she’d said goodbye to her mom, and the ache was still hard to bear.

And while Alice’s parents would be last on her list of people who would make the holidays feel warm and homely again, Alice was high on it.

Kenzie had always wanted to travel more. And an all-expenses paid trip to Portugal was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It would be stupid for her to let it pass by, right?

Kenzie sighed. “All right, fine. But you owe me. Big time.”

With a squeal, Alice threw her arms around Kenzie’s neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Kenzie James, you are the best fake girlfriend a girl could ask for.”

“Yeah, yeah. You just have to promise you won’t fall in love with me,” Kenzie said, the words muffled, her mouth pressed against Alice’s shoulder. “I’ve seen how those movies end.”

Alice laughed. “Please. You aren’t my type.”

“Rude! You’re not my type, either.”

“I know, I’m much too young for you.” Alice stuck out her tongue. “How much older was your last girlfriend again?”

“Ten years.” It had been almost a year since she’d broken things off with Louisa. Time she started to dip her toe back into the dating pool. A fake relationship hadn’t exactly been what she had in mind. “I’ve never dated anyone younger.”

“Well, you have now.” Alice shifted to curl into Kenzie’s side, grinning. “You have a twenty-six-year-old new squeeze. This is going to be fun.”

Kenzie wasn’t sure she agreed.

* * *

Carolina tossed her glasses on her desk and rubbed her eyes, suppressing a long groan.

It was 7 p.m., and her day showed no sign of ending soon.

She supposed this was what happened when people claimed someone was married to their job. Not that she could begrudge anyone saying so; it was the only constant in her life.

Unlike lovers, her career could never leave her.

And being the CEO of a multi-million dollar tech company, she had no intention of ever giving it up.

Her office door opened, and Andie swaggered inside with far too much pep for the time of night.

“Why the long face?” She flopped into the chair on the opposite side of Carolina’s desk. Andie ran a hand through her black bob, which framed cheekbones sharp enough to rival Carolina’s—though Andie’s Mexican heritage meant they weren’t as pale. “It can’t be the latest financial report. Our profit margins are even higher than we predicted.”

Carolina lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “They could always be better.”

“Anyone else would be over the moon.”

“Yes, well. I’m not anyone else, am I?”

Andie inclined her head. “No, and I wouldn’t have you any other way. So, what’s wrong? Not looking forward to your vacation?”

With a grimace, Carolina stood and padded over to the bar in the corner of her office. She poured two glasses of whiskey and allowed herself a moment to bask in the view of downtown Manhattan out of the window. “You know I’m not.”

“I don’t know. A few weeks in Portugal sounds idyllic.” Andie accepted her glass and eyed her warily.

Carolina knew Andie couldn’t understand why she was going, given her obvious reticence. Sometimes, she wondered herself. Self-doubt wasn’t an emotion Carolina was used to dealing with, but she’d been doubting her decision since telling Mariana she would join her and Clara in Sintra.

“The logistics alone are a nightmare.” The whiskey burned the back of Carolina’s throat as she took a long sip and sat back behind her desk. “Are you sure you’ll be all right without me?”

Andie waved a hand. “Oh, please. Don’t worry about me. You know I relish a challenge.”

One thing Carolina didn’t doubt was Andie’s capabilities. As fiercely independent as Carolina was, it hadn’t taken her long to realize she couldn’t run a tech conglomerate without the support of people she trusted.

Which were few and far between.

But Andie had impressed Carolina from the moment they’d first met, starting life as her assistant, and persevering where so many others had failed. Within ten years, Andie had gone from fetching Carolina’s coffees to being her right hand.

“Are you trying to talk yourself out of going?” Andie raised an eyebrow. “Because you do know you don’t have to, right?”

“I’m well aware, thank you.”

The cool tone of her voice was enough to make Andie back off with an apologetic duck of her head.

Yes, Carolina didn’t have to go. She didn’t have to listen to Mariana’s apologies, didn’t have to hear her out, didn’t have to see if broken things could be put back together again.

But…why now? Was it really the fact that the shadow of their mother no longer hung over them? Did Mariana want to assuage some of her guilt, or did she genuinely want to try and repair their relationship?

Carolina couldn’t cope with the uncertainty of it all. And crossing the Atlantic would be worth it if she could get some answers.

“Besides, my long face, as you so call it, has nothing to do with my family. It’s the acquisition.”

“Ah.” Finished with her whiskey, Andie set her glass on the surface of Carolina’s mahogany desk. “What now?”

Carolina rubbed the bridge of her nose. “After weeks of negotiations, and now our lawyers have completed their due diligence checks and given the deal the go ahead, their weasel of a CEO is stalling and refusing to sign the contracts. I suspect he thinks if he waits long enough, we’ll offer them more money.”

“Clearly, he doesn’t know who he’s messing with. You’re more likely to pull the plug.”

“Mm.” Carolina hadn’t gotten to her position by being soft. Ruthlessness had been instilled in her by her father—one of the few traits of his she’d been happy to inherit. Without it, she wouldn’t have climbed to the dizzying heights she’d managed to reach, armed with nothing but sheer grit and determination after being abandoned by her family. “Except I want this deal to go through. If only so I can see the look on his face when I remove him from his position.”

Chuckling, Andie clasped her hands together. “That’s the spirit. Though I still don’t understand why you’re so invested in this one. A dating app, really?”

“Match.com has a revenue of billions.” In the reflection from her monitor screen, Carolina could see a gleam in her eye—the sign of a deal close to completion, and banking a few more million dollars. “Tinder has similar. In the right set of hands, this deal could quadruple its worth in two years.”

“Yeah, yeah, I read the proposals. It just doesn’t seem very you.” Andie wiggled her eyebrows. “Planning on joining it yourself?”

Carolina scoffed. “Please. You know I don’t date.”

“I know you’re allergic to it,” Andie said. “That’s partly why I was so surprised when this acquisition crossed my desk.”

“Just because I don’t partake in it, doesn’t mean I don’t see the value. People are desperate for love. We can use that.”

A wry smile crossed Andie’s lips. “There’s the Carolina I know.”

Chapter 2

As Alice pulled their rental car to a stop outside of her family’s home in Sintra, Kenzie gazed at the building with wide eyes. “Holy shit.”

Towering above them, the bricks an orange-brown and the windows outlined in dazzling white frames, it stretched out left and right, surrounded by green gardens. She’d known Alice’s family was rich, and that this house had been in her family for generations, but knowing that and being slapped in the face with it were two entirely different things.

The place looked like it had honest to God wings.

“This isn’t a house. It’s a goddamn palace.”

“Technically, it’s a Château,” Alice said, grinning when Kenzie glared at her.

“I should not be here.” Ever since agreeing to Alice’s ridiculous plan, Kenzie had been trying hard not to think about what they intended to do. But sitting in the passenger seat, watching the front door open to reveal Mariana Costa, Alice’s incredibly imposing mother, panic clawed at Kenzie’s throat.

“It’ll be fine. I promise.” Alice’s voice sounded so sure. “Besides, we’re already here now. And I’m not taking you back to the airport. Seeing as you can’t drive, I guess that means you’re stuck here.”

“I hate you.”

Alice patted her back, knowing she didn’t mean it. “I know. Come on.”

Kenzie stepped out of the car, heels of her worn Doc Martens crunching on the gravel drive. At least the temperature was hotter here than New York, the sun warming Kenzie’s cheeks. The air smelled of freshly cut grass, and birds chirped nearby. Overall, it should have offered serenity, but she couldn’t quell her rising fear. “Please tell me you don’t have servants.”

“…Does a chef and cleaners count?”

Kenzie wanted to die.

“Give it a chance, Kenz,” Alice said, opening the trunk and hauling out their bags.

One belonged to Kenzie; the other four were Alice’s. She’d never been able to travel light.

“It’ll be okay.” Alice’s fingers curled over Kenzie’s shoulder and squeezed. “Honest.”

As she followed Alice toward the front door, helping to carry some of her bags in the hope it might endear her to Mariana, Kenzie wasn’t so sure.

“Alice.” Mariana swept Alice into a stiff hug the second she was close enough. “It’s good to see you.”

“You, too.” Alice stepped back and nudged Kenzie forward. “You remember Kenzie.”

“I do.” Mariana’s eyes—a steely gray—seemed to stare straight into Kenzie’s soul. God help the first woman Alice brought here who was actually her girlfriend. Kenzie was glad she didn’t have to win Mariana’s approval for real. Standing at five foot eight, the woman towered over Kenzie. “Welcome to our family home.”

“Thank you for having me,” she said, tongue feeling leaden. “I really appreciate you letting me join you for the holidays.”

“Yes, well.” Mariana pursed her lips. “Alice didn’t give us much choice in the matter.”

Ouch.

Mariana turned and strode inside the house, leaving Kenzie and Alice scrambling after her.

Inside the entrance hall, another woman stood. Kenzie had had enough of a run-down of Alice’s family members on the seven-hour flight to know that she was Clara, one of her aunts. She and Mariana shared more than their eye color and dark hair—both had an aura of standoffishness that made Kenzie want to inch her way back toward the car.

Kenzie hovered awkwardly one step inside the house as Clara and Alice exchanged a hug and tried to force a genuine smile as she was introduced. Clara, at least, didn’t try to stare her down.

“Your father and Uncle Chris won’t be here for another two weeks,” Mariana said. “Someone has to hold the fort at the law firm while Clara and I are away. And… your Aunt Carolina will be here sometime later this week.”

Mariana’s English accent would take some getting used to. It was one of those posh Southern ones—not Cockney, despite Kenzie knowing they were from London. Alice’s had faded the longer she’d spent in the States, and aside from the occasional British English—she never could get Alice to call it soccer—sometimes Kenzie forgot she wasn’t American.

“Can you call her my aunt when I’ve never even met her?” Alice tilted her head to one side. “Why is she even coming, anyway? You’ve barely mentioned her for years. Now she’s spending the holidays with us?”

A few moments of awkward silence filled the hall as Mariana and Clara shared a glance.

“Yes, well.” Mariana cleared her throat. “We’ve decided to make amends. Put the past behind us.”

“But what happened?”

“None of your business.” Mariana’s tone brokered no room for argument, her jaw held tense. “That’s between me, Clara, and Carolina.”

Clara ducked her head, examining her shoes.

Fascinating. Kenzie bet a family like this had some deep, dark secrets. Was Carolina one of them? She doubted she’d ever find out. If Mariana didn’t want to tell her own daughter, there was no chance she’d say anything to Kenzie.

“And when is Jonathan arriving?” Alice sounded like she was trying hard to keep her voice casual.

“Next Saturday,” Mariana said, her face brightening. “Along with Beth.”

Kenzie still thought it was weird to invite your daughter’s ex-boyfriend and his new squeeze on a family vacation—old family friends or not—but she didn’t pretend to understand the Costa’s logic.

At least she and Alice would have a week together before he got there.

“Alice, why don’t you give Kenzie a tour? I know it’s been a few years since you were last here, but I’m sure you remember where everything is. And we wouldn’t want her to get lost.” Mariana said it with an air like she wouldn’t mind if Kenzie did indeed get lost for the whole duration of her stay.

Knowing it was time to begin her starring role as the perfect girlfriend, Kenzie plastered on a smile. “A tour sounds great.”

“Excellent. Oh, and your rooms.” Shrewd eyes glanced at Alice. “You’ll be in your usual one of course, and Kenzie will be in the one at the end of the hall.”

“What?” Alice frowned. “Why isn’t Kenzie in my room?”

Kenzie tried not to tense. Much as she loved Alice, she did not want to spend a month sharing a room, and a bed. She snored and kicked in her sleep.

“Because that’s not appropriate. You aren’t married, or engaged.” Mariana raised an eyebrow. “Unless there’s something you’re not telling me?”

Alice rolled her eyes. “No. What about Jonathan and Beth? Are they in separate rooms?”

“I didn’t think Jonathan would want to be alone, given the circumstances. So no, they aren’t.” Mariana held out a hand when Alice’s mouth opened again. “Enough. We were kind enough to let Kenzie come along, despite hearing about it last minute. If you can’t follow the rules, you’re free to stay elsewhere.”

“Fine,” Alice said, pouting. “Come on, Kenz.” She slid her hand into Kenzie’s. “Let’s go put our bags in our rooms and then I’ll show you around.”

Alice pulled Kenzie toward the elaborate spiral staircase in the middle of the hall. At the top, hallways extended to the left and to the right. Alice headed left.

“What was that?” Kenzie said once they were out of hearing range, though she made sure to keep her voice low. “I don’t want to share a bed.”

“Relax. I knew mum wouldn’t go for that. I’m just trying to make it convincing.”

The hall was full of endless closed doors, and Kenzie had no idea how she was going to remember which was which.

“This is my room.” Alice paused in front of a light blue door. “So if you ever need me, just knock.” Alice opened the door a crack and set her bags inside. “And then you’re down here.”

At least Kenzie’s room was the last on the left, nice and easy to remember.

The last thing she wanted to do was wander into someone else’s room. She doubted that would endear her to the Costas.

“Wow. This is amazing.” The bedroom was nicer than most hotel rooms Kenzie had been in. Spacious with a four-poster double bed, a mahogany closet and a matching set of drawers set against the wall. A thick blanket sat at the end of the bed.

“It can get cold overnight,” Alice said, noticing the path of Kenzie’s gaze. “The floor is stone and the walls are thick, which keeps the heat out in the summer but doesn’t help much in the winter. There’ll be more blankets in the closet if you need them.”

“Thank you.”

Alice glanced out of the small window. “There’s not much of a view, I’m afraid. But you probably won’t be in here too much.”

“I mean, the view out of my window at home is of the apartment block opposite, so anything is an improvement on that.”

“True. Come on, leave your stuff and I’ll show you around while the place is quiet.”

The nearest bathroom was their first stop—which had a gigantic walk-in shower and a bathtub big enough for three—before Alice took her back downstairs.

Off the main hall was the biggest kitchen Kenzie had ever seen. The granite island in the center of it was probably the size of their kitchen back home, with a double stove sitting behind it, and more cupboards than Kenzie cared to count.

“I think the next room will be your favorite.” Alice beckoned her toward the heavyset door next to the kitchen, and pushed it open. Kenzie let out a breath when she stepped inside.

It was an honest-to-God library.

Floor to ceiling bookcases lined the walls, a rich walnut, filled to the brim with books of all different colors. Some were well-read, their spines creased, but countless others seemed untouched. Huge windows looked out onto the grounds beyond, and sunlight streamed into the room, lighting up dust motes in the air.

“It’s stunning.” Kenzie didn’t want to leave, but she was sure the rest of the house had gems to offer as well.

“Knew you’d like it. And wouldn’t working in here be an upgrade from your dingy office back home?”

“I’ll say.” Resting a reverent hand on one of the two desks in the room, Kenzie was already relishing the opportunity.

When her inevitable bouts of insomnia hit—she rarely slept well in new places, let alone places where she was uneasy—Kenzie knew where she was going to find solace. Curled up in one of the creaky leather armchairs, whittling away the final few chapters of her thesis.

Despite her impromptu vacation, Kenzie was getting her goddamn PhD, even if she had to rely on spite and stubbornness to crawl over the finish line.

* * *

Sitting behind the wheel of her leased Audi, Carolina stared at the front door of her family’s house in Sintra, anxiety making her stomach churn. Her throat was so tight she struggled to draw breath, overwhelmed with the rush of memories that assaulted her when she glanced at the ornate wooden doorway.

Twenty-four years.

That was how long it had been since Carolina had last stepped inside.

Twenty-four years since her mother had tossed her outside—literally, barely giving Carolina a chance to gather her belongings—and told Carolina she’d do well to never show her face again.

That a degenerate dyke like her was no daughter of Cecilia Costa.

Twenty-four years since both Mariana and Clara had stood idly by, not standing up for their youngest sister, not standing up to their mother, despite all the abuse and trauma she and their father had put them through over the years. Bile rose in Carolina’s throat. Was this a mistake? Should she turn and flee, head back to Lisbon, where she’d spent the last twelve hours since her plane had landed, dragging her feet over making the journey out into the hills?

No, she didn’t run, or back off. She’d made her mind up, gotten on a plane, and now, she needed to see it through.

While the ghost of Cecilia Costa still haunted Carolina—despite five years of therapy to try and rid herself of the shackles weighing her down—the woman herself no longer resided within the halls of the house she sat looking at.

It was time for her to face her past.

No matter how difficult.

With a resigned sigh, Carolina straightened her spine and approached the front door. The spare key was exactly where Mariana had said it would be—unoriginally hidden beneath a potted plant on the stone steps outside—and Carolina pushed the door open with the palm of her hand.

Inside, silence greeted her. Not unexpected—it was 2 a.m., and everyone should be in bed.

The place hadn’t changed. The same stone floor, covered with a plush red rug that led to the elaborate staircase, the walls lined by an array of pretentious artwork—not a family photograph in sight.

Carolina wasn’t sure how she felt about staying in her old bedroom. She’d been a different person entirely the last time she’d slept in that bed—but she supposed enough were going spare if she wanted a change of scenery.

Approaching the staircase, Carolina paused at the sliver of light spilling out into the hall from the library.

Her favorite room in this godforsaken place.

“How difficult is it to turn off the light?” Carolina muttered as she pushed open the door.

She didn’t expect anyone to be inside—and certainly didn’t expect to find a figure lying prone across one of the desks, cheek pressed to the wood and mouth open in a snore.

Her blonde hair and pale white skin gave away the lack of Costa genes, and Carolina frowned. Who was the interloper? Why hadn’t Mariana mentioned this wouldn’t be a family affair?

“Who the fuck are you?” Carolina said before she could think, voice sharp in the otherwise quiet.

The woman sat bolt upright. Her mouth opened—then snapped closed once their eyes met.

She was young, and pretty, her face free of blemishes and wrinkles, straw-blonde hair scraped back into a high ponytail. Blue eyes were bright despite the late hour and just having woken from a nap.

“I-I’m Kenzie.”

Like that meant anything to Carolina. She raised an eyebrow.

Kenzie’s throat bobbed as she swallowed. “Um, Alice’s girlfriend.”

Shock rippled through Carolina. She refused to let it show, though she couldn’t stop her fingers digging hard into the wooden doorframe. “Alice has a girlfriend?” Carolina made a conscious effort to keep her voice even, while her mind was spinning a mile a minute.

A girlfriend. Christ, Carolina hoped Mariana had reacted better to Alice’s coming out than to Carolina’s. Then again, the fact said girlfriend was joining them for the holidays spoke volumes.

Was that why Mariana had invited her? To flaunt the fact she wasn’t homophobic anymore? Carolina refused to believe it was a coincidence. But Mariana hadn’t mentioned a Kenzie in her e-mail. Unless she was the old family friend?

“Uh, it…it’s new. But she thought bringing me here would be a good opportunity to meet the family.”

“Hm.” Carolina wasn’t so sure. “And why are you drooling on my desk instead of safely tucked away in bed?” Of course, Carolina had no right to that desk anymore. It had been an age since she’d last sat there, but still. It was the principle of the matter.

“S-sorry.”

God, the stuttering. The nerves. They radiated off her. The girl needed to grow a backbone, or she would never be able to make it a month around the Costas.

“I didn’t realize it was your desk,” Kenzie continued. “I was under the impression this is the first time you’ve been around here for a while.”

Maybe the girl did have a backbone after all.

Though the way she quailed at the snarl that rose from Carolina’s throat suggested she quickly regretted speaking out of turn.

“That may be so, but everything in this house is a third mine.” Kenzie didn’t need to know Carolina had been written out of the will. “So, chop, chop. Scurry off to bed.”

With wide eyes, Kenzie scrambled to her feet and snatched up her laptop before hurrying from the room, brushing past Carolina and racing up the stairs.

Carolina watched her go, shaking her head. She’d be surprised if the poor girl lasted the week.

Flicking off the light, Carolina followed Kenzie up the stairs, traipsing toward her old room.

She was halfway there when a door opened, and she froze when Mariana stepped in front of her. A fluffy white robe was wrapped around her shoulders, fuzzy slippers on her feet to ward off the chill from the stone floors. Despite her attire and bleary eyes, she still appeared perfectly put together—and like one look could turn Carolina to ice.

And she would know. It was a stare she’d perfected herself.

“Carolina… I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Neither can I.” With her heart pounding in her ears, Carolina couldn’t escape now. She’d been spotted, and couldn’t run from her past any longer.

“It’s so good to see you.”

“Is it?” Carolina couldn’t help the sharpness of her voice, and Mariana flinched like she’d been struck.

“Yes.” Mariana drew her robe tighter around herself, like it was a suit of armor. “I meant what I said in my message. I…I shouldn’t have left it so long to reach out.”

“And why did you? Reach out, I mean. Why now?” Carolina’s gaze flicked to one of the canvases on the wall, a garish mishmash of colors that had no right going together. Carolina had always hated it; her mother had adored it. “Because she’s gone, and you can finally crawl out from beneath her shadow?”

Rocking back on her heels, Mariana drew in a breath. “I know how she treated you wasn’t right.”

“How she treated me?” Keeping her voice low, to not draw any attention from the slumbering occupants in the other rooms, became harder and harder for Carolina every time Mariana’s mouth opened. “She tossed me out on the streets like I was a dog for daring to fall in love with another woman. And you and Clara just…stood aside. Like I meant nothing to either of you. You chose her over me. After everything she did to us.” Carolina ran a shaking hand through her hair. “Why did I come here? I knew it was a mistake.”

Carolina took a half-step backwards. Was it too late for her to get on the first plane back to New York?

“I was never as strong as you were,” Mariana said, stopping Carolina in her tracks. “Clara wasn’t, either. You were the youngest, but you were…” Mariana swallowed, hard. “You were fearless. No matter what mother or father did to you, you brushed it off. You defied them again. You refused to fall in line, you refused to let them break you, and I…I envied you for it. I also hated you for it.”

Carolina swallowed, unsure if she was ready for the answers she’d been seeking after all.

“When she found you with Rebecca—”

Even after twenty-four years, the sound of her name made the air whoosh from Carolina’s lungs like she’d been sucker-punched in the stomach. Her family hadn’t been the only thing she’d lost that day; she’d lost the woman she loved as well.

Mariana didn’t seem to notice her discomfort. “—I didn’t know what to do. I knew what I should do, of course I did, but I…I’d never been able to stand up to her. She said if Clara or I ever spoke to you again, she’d cut us off.” Mariana’s gaze fell to the floor. “So I took the coward’s way out.”

“And in the years since?” Carolina pressed, knowing Mariana’s excuse was weak. “Once you had a foothold in the company, she couldn’t have done shit to you.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear me out. I followed your career, and I knew you were flourishing without us. I didn’t want to drag you back down.” Mariana drew a shaky breath. “And then she died. After the funeral, Clara and I came here, and we started to clear out her things, and we found some of the old photograph albums. And I realized how much she’d taken from all of us. I had to see if there was a chance we could fix things.”

Mariana took a step closer.

Carolina tried not to flinch when Mariana reached for her hand.

“I am so sorry, Carolina. I understand if you want to leave and never see us again. But I hope you don’t. At least stick around long enough to join us for breakfast tomorrow morning. Clara has been looking forward to seeing you.” With one last squeeze of her hand, Mariana melted back into her bedroom, leaving Carolina alone in the hall.

She took a deep breath. Well, that was one sister—the worst sister—down, and nothing terrible had happened. The gates of hell hadn’t opened. She was still standing.

And for the first time, Carolina felt a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, they would be able to salvage some kind of relationship after all.