Killing the Kordovas E-Book

Kathryn Lively

• Herausgeber: Kathryn Lively
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016

Beschreibung

WARNING: This book contains rough language, spoilers for a possible sequel to Judy Blume’s Blubber, suggested lyrics for the theme to Sanford and Son, and one very mixed-up romance author.Words come easily to writer Danni Hewitt. If only success did the same. The news of America’s latest reality sweetheart inking a major book deal sends Danni spiraling into depression, to the point where the idea of soothing her jealousy with a murderous rampage appeals to her.Of course, this requires getting close enough to Krystal Kordova and her family to draw blood, something Danni achieves when she manages to land a job as Krystal’s ghostwriter.Is the pen deadlier than the sword? Stick with Danni and find out.

Leseprobe

Killing the Kordovas

Kathryn Lively

Killing the Kordovas copyright 2013 by Kathryn Lively

All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

DLP BOOKS

Virginia Beach, VA

Contact [email protected] for extra copies.

First Edition – September, 2013

Produced in the United States of America

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Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

Also by Kathryn Lively

Little Flowers

Pithed: an Andy Farmer Mystery

Rock Deadly

Rock Til You Drop

The Girl With the Monkee Tattoo

For all the writers.

Table of Contents

Part One: Tainted Love

Part Two: Mama Said Knock You Out

Part Three: God’s Away on Business

Part Four: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Part Five: Who Know Which is Which...

Part One: Tainted Love

Okay, before I get started here I need to take an informal poll. How many people here have read Delilah in Pastels? Show of hands, even the wait staff...gotta make sure we’re thorough here. Wow, that many. And you all liked it? Even the people raising their hands who didn’t read the book or never heard of it, just so they don’t feel left out? You liked that piece of shit book, too?

Well, congratulations. You guys are basically spearheading the downfall of civilization as we know it. I’m serious. You do realize the soccer mom hack who wrote that steaming pile of horse crap can’t spell to save her life, right? Okay, I apologize. “Write” probably isn’t the proper word to use here, because I know writers, and am I a writer. Writers actually invest thought and planning into a project, whereas Cindy Shore basically set a sheet of tracing paper over somebody else’s book and outlined all the sentences.

We can say this out loud, it’s okay. She wrote fan fiction about a book, and turned it into a book. Can you believe that shit? And publishers were falling at her feet to contract her because she decided somebody else’s chaste, otherworldly wizards weren’t having enough sex to satisfy the public. Totally understandable. You know, I can remember when I went to a launch party for one of the Levi St. Cloud books...with my third-grader...thinking, “Gee, that last book was sorely lacking in butt sex and see-through blouses. I hope...I hope this one makes up for it. How else is my little Jimmy going to learn about safe words and nipple clamps? His father sure as hell can’t tell which hole is which.”

So, yes. I am a writer. I am a romance writer by trade, can’t you tell by my flowery language this evening? I actually have one book published. Aw, thank you. That applause will definitely boost my bank account, by like twenty cents. You have one of those barcode scanners on your phone? You, sir? Because if you want to hold it up, I do have a QR code tattooed on my arm here that links to Amazon where you can download the eBook. Isn’t this great? And I can write off this tat as a promotional expense. I’ll bet that Shore lady didn’t think of that!

I don’t normally tell people that I write romance, because when I do I always get that leering response. Especially from men. They’re like this... Soooo, you like to write the sex-ay, huh? Then they turn to my husband and give him the old wink and nudge, like he should be in traction for serving as my test subject for all the orgy scenes and hanging from the ceiling kink that I write. Let me explain something to you: if my husband and I were having incredible, wall-shaking sex as often as the characters in my books, there wouldn’t be any books, okay? I wouldn’t get out of bed, except maybe to brush my teeth, and gargle what I didn’t gargle in bed. Oh, yah, don’t knock it. What are you looking at me like that? If you’d read that in Delilah in Pastels