Mindfulness For Dummies E-Book

Shamash Alidina

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 630

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2014

Beschreibung

Use mindfulness to relax and control anxiety, depression, stress and pain Whether you're looking to control your depression and anxiety levels, improve concentration and reduce stress, or just want to restore balance in your life, Mindfulness For Dummies, 2nd Edition shows you how to slow down, become aware of what is going on around you and react effectively. Focusing on breathing and other self-control techniques, the practice of mindfulness is scientifically proven to calm jittery nerves and free the mind of distracting thoughts, mental clutter and unrealistic expectations. With this easy-to-follow guide, you'll discover how to pay attention to the present in order to change the way you think, feel and act. Covering the latest research on the effect of mindfulness on the brain, Mindfulness For Dummies, 2nd Edition shows you how to break free from a downward spiral of negative thought and action, and empowers you to make positive choices that support your well-being. * Use mindfulness to reduce stress and anxiety, combat pain and more * Receive guidance on incorporating mindfulness into everyday life * Establish your own mindfulness routine * Access audio downloads of guided meditations Written by a professional mindfulness trainer, and packed with tips to incorporate this practice into your daily life, Mindfulness For Dummies, 2nd Edition shows you how to reap the benefits of a more attentive life.

Leseprobe

Mindfulness For Dummies®, 2nd Edition

Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Ltd., The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, www.wiley.com

This edition first published 2015

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A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978-1-118-86818-8 (paperback); ISBN 978-1-118-86819-5 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-86820-1 (ebk)

Printed in Great Britain by TJ International, Padstow, Cornwall

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Mindfulness For Dummies®, 2nd Edition

Visit www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/mindfulness to view this book's cheat sheet.

Table of Contents

Foreword

Introduction

About This Book

Foolish Assumptions

Icons Used in This Book

Beyond the Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I: Getting Started with Mindfulness

Chapter 1: Discovering Mindfulness

Understanding the Meaning of Mindfulness

Looking at Mindfulness Meditation

Using Mindfulness to Help You

Allowing space to heal

Enjoying greater relaxation

Improving productivity

Developing greater wisdom

Discovering your observer self

Starting the Mindfulness Adventure

Beginning the voyage

Overcoming challenges

Exploring the journey of a lifetime

Chapter 2: Enjoying the Benefits of Mindfulness

Relaxing the Body

Getting back in touch

Boosting your immune system

Reducing pain

Slowing down the ageing process

Calming the Mind

Listening to your thoughts

Making better decisions

Coming to your senses

Creating an attentive mind

Soothing Your Emotions

Understanding your emotions

Managing feelings differently

Knowing Thyself: Discovering Your Observer Self

Part II: Preparing the Ground for Mindful Living

Chapter 3: Nurturing Your Motivation

Exploring Your Intentions

Clarifying intention in mindfulness

Finding what you’re looking for

Developing a vision

Practising mindfulness for everyone’s benefit

Preparing Yourself for Mindfulness

Looking Beyond Problem-Solving

Honing Your Commitment

Mastering self-discipline

Making a commitment that’s right for you

Inspiring yourself with extra motivation

Dealing with resistance to practice

Chapter 4: Growing Healthy Attitudes

Knowing How Attitude Affects Outcome

Discovering Your Attitudes to Mindfulness

Developing Helpful Attitudes

Understanding acceptance

Discovering patience

Seeing afresh

Finding trust

Cultivating curiosity

Letting go

Developing kindness

Appreciating ‘Heartfulness’

Understanding mindfulness as heartfulness

Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

Letting go through forgiveness

Tackling Unhelpful Attitudes

Avoiding quick-fix solutions

Overcoming perfectionism

Finding out from failure

Chapter 5: Humans Being Versus Humans Doing

Delving into the Doing Mode of Mind

Embracing the Being Mode of Mind

Combining Being and Doing

Overcoming Obsessive Doing: Distinguishing Wants from Needs

Being in the Zone: The Psychology of Flow

Understanding the factors of mindful flow

Discovering your flow experiences

Encouraging a Being Mode of Mind

Dealing with emotions using being mode

Finding time to just be

Living in the moment

Part III: Practising Mindfulness

Chapter 6: Getting Into Formal Mindfulness Meditation Practice

Preparing Your Body and Mind for Mindfulness Meditation

Savouring Mindful Eating Meditation

Relaxing with Mindful Breathing Meditation

Engaging in Mindful Movement

Trying Out the Body Scan Meditation

Practising the body scan

Appreciating the benefits of the body scan meditation

Overcoming body scan obstacles

Enjoying Sitting Meditation

Finding a posture that’s right for you

Practising sitting meditation

Overcoming sitting meditation obstacles

Stepping Out with Walking Meditations

Examining your walking habits

Practising formal walking meditation

Trying alternative walking meditations

Overcoming walking meditation obstacles

Generating Compassion: Metta Meditations

Practising loving kindness meditation

Overcoming metta meditation obstacles

Chapter 7: Using Mindfulness for Yourself and Others

Using a Mini Mindful Exercise

Introducing the breathing space

Practising the breathing space

Using the breathing space between activities

Using Mindfulness to Look After Yourself

Exercising mindfully

Preparing for sleep with mindfulness

Looking at a mindful work–life balance

Using Mindfulness in Relationships

Starting with your relationship with yourself

Dealing with arguments in romantic relationships: A mindful way to greater peace

Engaging in deep listening

Being aware of expectations

Looking into the mirror of relationships

Working with your emotions

Seeing difficult people as your teachers

Chapter 8: Using Mindfulness in Your Daily Life

Using Mindfulness at Work

Beginning the day mindfully

Dropping in with mini meditations

Going from reacting to responding

Solving problems creatively

Practising mindful working

Trying single-tasking: Discovering the multi-tasking myth

Finishing by letting go

Using Mindfulness on the Move

Walking mindfully

Driving mindfully

Travelling mindfully on public transport

Using Mindfulness in the Home

Waking up mindfully

Doing everyday tasks with awareness

Second hunger: Overcoming problem eating

Living Mindfully in the Digital Age

Assessing your level of addiction to technology

Using mindfulness to get back in control

Using technology to enhance mindful awareness

Chapter 9: Establishing Your Own Mindfulness Routine

Trying the Evidence-Based Mindfulness Course

Week One: Understanding automatic pilot

Week Two: Dealing with barriers

Week Three: Being mindful in movement

Week Four: Staying present

Week Five: Embracing acceptance

Week Six: Realising that thoughts are just thoughts

Week Seven: Taking care of yourself

Week Eight: Reflection and change

Choosing What to Practise for Quick Stress Reduction

Going Even Deeper

Discovering the value of silence

Setting aside a day for mindfulness

Joining a group

Finding an appropriate retreat

Chapter 10: Dealing with Setbacks and Transcending Distractions

Getting the Most out of Meditation

Making time

Rising above boredom and restlessness

Staying awake during mindful meditation

Finding a focus

Re-charging enthusiasm

Dealing with Common Distractions

Handling unusual experiences

Learning to relax

Developing patience

Learning from Negative Experiences

Dealing with physical discomfort

Getting over difficult emotions

Accepting your progress

Going beyond unhelpful thoughts

Finding a Personal Path

Approaching difficulties with kindness

Understanding why you’re bothering

Realising that setbacks are inevitable

Setting realistic expectations

Looking at change

Part IV: Reaping the Rewards of Mindfulness

Chapter 11: Discovering Greater Happiness

Discovering the Way to Happiness

Exploring your ideas about happiness

Challenging assumptions about happiness

Applying Mindfulness with Positive Psychology

Understanding the three ways to happiness

Using your personal strengths mindfully

Writing a gratitude journal

Savouring the moment

Helping others mindfully

Generating Positive Emotions with Mindfulness

Breathing and smiling

Mindful laughter

Releasing Your Creativity

Exploring creativity

Creating conditions for originality

Chapter 12: Reducing Stress, Anger and Fatigue

Using Mindfulness to Reduce Stress

Understanding your stress

Noticing the early signs of stress

Assessing your stress

Moving from reacting to responding to stress

Breathing out your stress

Using your mind to manage stress

Cooling Down Your Anger

Understanding anger

Coping when the fire rises up

Reducing Fatigue

Assessing your energy levels

Discovering energy drainers

Finding what uplifts you

Using meditations to rise and sparkle

Chapter 13: Using Mindfulness to Combat Anxiety, Depression and Addiction

Dealing Mindfully with Depression

Understanding depression

Understanding why depression recurs

Using mindfulness to change your relationship to low mood

Discovering Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

Pleasant and Unpleasant Experiences

Interpreting thoughts and feelings

Combating automatic thoughts

Alternative viewpoints

De-centring from difficult thoughts

Listing your activities

Making wise choices

Using a depression warning system

Calming Anxiety: Let It Be

Feel the fear . . . and make friends with it

Using mindfulness to cope with anxiety

Being with anxious feelings

Overcoming Addiction

Understanding a mindful approach to addiction

Discovering urge surfing: The mindful key to unlocking addiction

Managing relapse: Discovering the surprising secret for success

Chapter 14: Getting Physical: Healing the Body

Contemplating Wholeness: Healing from Within

Seeing the Connection between Mind and Body

Acknowledging Your Limits

Rising above Your Illness

Using Mindfulness to Manage Pain

Knowing the difference between pain and suffering

Coping with pain

Using Mindfulness during Ill Health

Aiding the healing process

Chapter 15: Coaching Children in Mindfulness

Children and Mindfulness: A Natural Combination

Teaching Mindfulness to Children

Setting an example

Taking baby steps

Playing Mindfulness Games and Exercises

Memory game

Teddy bear

Paper windmill spinning

Curious mind

Loving kindness meditation

Bubble meditation

Mindful drawing

Mindful body scan

Supporting Teens with Mindfulness

Introducing mindfulness to teens

Helping teens with exam stress

Mindful Parenting

Being present for your children

Trying out tips for mindful parenting

Part V: The Part of Tens

Chapter 16: Ten Top Tips for Mindful Living

Spending Some Quiet Time Every Day

Connect with People

Enjoy the Beauty of Nature

Change Your Daily Routine

See the Wonder of the Present Moment

Listen to Unpleasant Emotions

Remember That Thoughts Aren’t Facts

Be Grateful Every Day

Use Technology Mindfully

Breathe and Smile!

Chapter 17: Ten Ways Mindfulness Can Really Help You

Training the Brain

Improving Relationships

Boosting Creativity

Reducing Depression

Reducing Chronic Pain

Giving Deeper Meaning to Life

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

Controlling Addiction

Regulating Eating Habits

Increasing Your Happiness

Chapter 18: Ten Mindfulness Myths to Expose

Mindfulness Is All about the Mind

Mindfulness Isn’t for Restless People

Mindfulness Is Positive Thinking

Mindfulness Is Only for Buddhists

Mindfulness Is Only for Tough Times

Mindfulness Is a Set of Techniques

Mindfulness Isn’t for Me

Mindfulness Meditation Is Relaxation

Mindfulness Can Be Used Instead of Therapy or Medicine

Mindfulness Is Complicated and Boring

Chapter 19: Ten Paths to Further Study

Websites

ShamashAlidina.com

Greater Good Science Centre

Mindful.org

Books, Magazines and Films

Book: Wherever you go, there you are

Book: Peace is every step

Book: Mindfulness – a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world

Magazine: Mindful

DVD: Room to breathe

Retreats

Mindfulness-based retreat centres worldwide

Plum Village and related centers

About the Author

Cheat Sheet

More Dummies Products

Guide

Table of Contents

Begin Reading

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Foreword

Sitting down to start a book has many similarities to sitting down to a great meal. There is a warm felt sense of anticipation (in body and mind) of a pleasant experience. There is curiosity in the mind. There is an awareness of a certain ‘hunger’ for what is about to be taken in. And there we are, fully present to what we encounter before us: whether it is the visual experience of the design of the book or the plate presentation of the meal, whether it is the aroma of a desired food or the fresh smell of a newly-printed and opened book. Perhaps this captures something of your experience as you read these words, but on the other hand, as they say, ‘your mileage may vary’. Take a moment to stop and notice what your experience ACTUALLY is right now in this very moment. What is the quality of your mind? What do you notice in your body? Are you aware of your breath moving in and out of your body, essentially ‘breathing itself’?

Few things are more elementally basic and simple, yet so hard to convey in words and instructions, than mindfulness. At its essence it is simply being present, to our experience, our whole experience, and nothing but our experience. Yet you can read that previous sentence dozens, even millions of times, and still not know (at a level well below words) how to systematically practice it and bring it into your life with all its stresses and challenges. The only way to truly know mindfulness and cultivate it in one’s life is to practice it like your life depends on it. Because in many ways it does. The degree to which you can be fully present to your experience, letting go of judgment when it is not useful and truly seeing things as they are, really determines the degree of suffering and stress you will experience in this crazy life of ours.

So the biggest difference between sitting down to this book and sitting down to a fine meal in a gourmet restaurant is that this book, as wonderful, instructional and inspirational as it is, is simply the menu and not the meal itself. We’ve all seen many beautiful menus in amazing restaurants the world over, but not one of them would have tasted anything like the meals they described! Those menus, like Mindfulness for Dummies, simply (but elegantly) point to the real heart of the matter: the practice of mindfulness. A practice that has the potential to nourish and fulfill us in ways that nothing else truly can, and bring equanimity, kindness and balance into every corner of our busy, full lives.

So, the invitation is to approach this book as Derek Wolcott (in his poem Love After Love) suggests we approach our very existence: ‘Sit. Feast on your life.’

Steven D. Hickman, Psy.D., Clinical Psychologist, Assistant Clinical Professor, University of California at San Diego, Department of Psychiatry, Director, UCSD Center for Mindfulness

Introduction

When I was about eight years old, I discovered an amazing fact – I’m actually alive, on this planet, in this universe! And so is everyone else. The fact that there’s a universe at all is amazing, but that I’m in it too … that was mind blowing. I started going round telling everyone, but they didn’t share my excitement. I saw adults mechanically going to work and doing the shopping, and friends playing games, but I was conscious of an incredible sense of existence happening that they weren’t able to share. It was like an amazing set of fireworks was exploding, but everyone was looking the wrong way.

As I grew up, I began to lose my grip on this sense of wonder until I stumbled upon mindfulness and a range of philosophies. I was relieved to find others who’d contemplated similar questions to me, and to learn a way of managing my stress at the same time. I continue to enjoy asking the big questions, and find that mindfulness beautifully compliments my natural tendency to be philosophical.

In this book you can discover how to re-ignite your perception of this mystery called life, so you aren’t just existing to complete to-do lists, but are actually living. You find out how to practise mindfulness, so you can integrate a new way of being into your everyday life, helping you to cope with managing stress, challenging emotions, and increasing your general sense of wellbeing in a rich variety of different ways.

About This Book

Mindfulness For Dummies provides you with the tools to practise mindfulness on your own. Each chapter is brimming with insights about what mindfulness is, how to practise mindfulness quickly and easily, and how to deepen your experience. I wrote this book with the beginner in mind, but the knowledge goes far deeper, and experienced mindfulness practitioners will find lots of new aspects to ponder. As the research on mindfulness continues to develop rapidly, I’ve chosen to explain in detail the core mindfulness practices and approaches that have been tested many times before and found to be effective.

Foolish Assumptions

In writing this book, I made a few assumptions about who you are:

You’re keen to learn more about mindfulness, but don’t know exactly what it is, and how to practise it.You are willing to have a good go at trying out the various mindfulness exercises before judging if they’ll work for you.You’re interested in the many different applications of mindfulness.You’re not afraid of a bit of mindfulness meditation.

Beyond those, I’ve not assumed too much, I hope. This book is for you whether you’re male or female, 18 or 88.

Icons Used in This Book

Sprinkled throughout the book you’ll see various icons to guide you on your way. Icons are a For Dummies way of drawing your attention to important stuff, interesting stuff, and stuff you really need to know how to do.

The audio tracks that can be found on www.dummies.com and that accompany this book include a selection of guided mindfulness exercises for you to try. Find these exercises by looking for this icon.

This is stuff you need to know: whatever else you carry away from this book, note these bits with care.

Have a go at different mindfulness exercises and tips with this icon.

Take careful note of the advice under this icon, and you’ll avoid unnecessary problems – ignore at your peril.

Find some precious pearls of wisdom and meaningful stories next to this icon.

Beyond the Book

In addition to the content in the print or e-book you’re reading right now, this book also comes with some access-anywhere goodies on the web. Check out the free Cheat Sheet at www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/Mindfulness for a simple summary of all the key points contained in this book. This really handy sheet can be printed out for you to carry with you throughout the day, so you can dip into it for some mindfulness anytime you need to.

You can also access three unique articles about mindfulness, in addition to this book. To read those, visit www.dummies.com/extras/mindfulness.

And last but most importantly, this book also includes lots of high quality, downloadable mindfulness exercises. These exercises are available online as audio tracks. They are referred to through the book, as marked with the icon Play This, and vary in lengths from 3 minutes to 25 minutes.

To download the audio tracks to your device, go towww.dummies.com/extras/mindfulness.

Alternatively, you could even play them straight from your smart phone when you have wifi access. Be sure to bookmark the link so you can easily access the mindfulness audio tracks anytime you need them. Listening to the guided mindfulness exercises is the easiest way most people practise mindfulness as beginners.

Where to Go from Here

I’ve put this book together so that you can dip in and out as you please. I invite you to make good use of the Table of Contents – or the index – and jump straight into the section you fancy. You’re in charge and it’s up to you of course. If you’re a total beginner, or not sure where to start, take a traditional approach and begin with Part I.

I wish you all the best in your mindfulness quest and hope you find something of use within these pages. Happy mindfulness!

Part I

Getting Started with Mindfulness

For Dummies can help you get started with lots of subjects. Visit www.dummies.com to learn more and do more with For Dummies.

In this part …

Discover what mindfulness is and explore its meaning.Take a journey into the benefits of mindfulness living.Find out just what makes mindfulness so popular.

Chapter 1

Discovering Mindfulness

In This Chapter

Defining mindfulness

Discovering the benefits of mindfulness

Exploring the journey of mindfulness

Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, infused with qualities like kindness, curiosity and acceptance.

Through being mindful, you discover how to live in the present moment in an enjoyable way rather than worrying about the past or being concerned about the future. The past has already gone and can’t be changed. The future is yet to arrive and is completely unknown. The present moment, this very moment now, is ultimately the only moment you have. Mindfulness shows you how to live in this moment in a harmonious way. You find out how to make the present moment a more wonderful moment to be in – the only place in which you can create, decide, listen, think, smile, act or live.

You can develop and deepen mindfulness through doing mindfulness meditation on a daily basis, from a few minutes to as long as you want. This chapter introduces you to mindfulness and mindfulness meditation and welcomes you aboard a fascinating journey.

Understanding the Meaning of Mindfulness

Mindfulness was originally developed in ancient times, and can be found in Eastern and Western cultures. Mindfulness is a translation of the ancient Indian word Sati, which means awareness, attention and remembering:

Awareness. This is an aspect of being human that makes you conscious of your experiences. Without awareness, nothing would exist for you.Attention. Attention is a focused awareness; mindfulness training develops your ability to move and sustain your attention wherever and however you choose.Remembering. This aspect of mindfulness is about remembering to pay attention to your experience from moment to moment. Being mindful is easy to forget. The word ‘remember’ originally comes from the Latin re ‘again’ and memorari ‘be mindful of’.

Awareness from the heart

The Japanese character for mindfulness is illustrated below:

This Japanese character combines the words for ‘mind’ and ‘heart’ and beautifully captures the essence of mindfulness as not just awareness, but awareness from the heart.

Say that you want to practise mindfulness to help you cope with stress. At work, you think about your forthcoming presentation and begin to feel stressed and nervous. By becoming aware of this, you remember to focus your mindful attention to your own breathing rather than constantly worrying. Feeling your breath with a sense of warmth and gentleness helps slowly to calm you down. See Chapter 6 for more about mindful breathing.

Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn, who first developed mindfulness in a therapeutic setting, says:

‘Mindfulness can be cultivated by paying attention in a specific way, that is, in the present moment, and as non-reactively, non-judgementally and openheartedly as possible.’

You can break down the meaning even further:

Paying attention. To be mindful, you need to pay attention, whatever you choose to attend to.Present moment. The reality of being in the here and now means you just need to be aware of the way things are, as they are now. Your experience is valid and correct just as it is.Non-reactively. Normally, when you experience something, you automatically react to that experience according to your past conditioning. For example, if you think, ‘I still haven’t finished my work,’ you react with thoughts, words and actions in some shape or form.

Mindfulness encourages you to respond to your experience rather than react to thoughts. A reaction is automatic and gives you no choice; a response is deliberate and considered action. (Chapter 12 delves deeper into mindful responses.)

Non-judgementally. The temptation is to judge experience as good or bad, something you like or dislike. I want to feel bliss; I don’t like feeling afraid. Letting go of judgements helps you to see things as they are rather than through the filter of your personal judgements based on past conditioning.Openheartedly. Mindfulness isn’t just an aspect of mind. Mindfulness is of the heart as well. To be open-hearted is to bring a quality of kindness, compassion, warmth and friendliness to your experience. For example, if you notice yourself thinking, ‘I’m useless at meditation,’ you discover how to let go of this critical thought and gently turn your attention back to the focus of your meditation, whatever that may be. For more on attitudes to cultivate for mindfulness, see Chapter 4.

Looking at Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is a particular type of meditation that’s been well researched and tested in clinical settings.

Meditation isn’t thinking about nothing. Meditation is paying attention in a systematic way to whatever you decide to focus on, which can include awareness of your thoughts. By listening to your thoughts, you discover their habitual patterns. Your thoughts have a massive impact on your emotions and the decisions you make, so being more aware of them is helpful.

In mindfulness meditation, you typically focus on one, or a combination, of the following:

The feeling of your own breathingAny one of your sensesYour bodyYour thoughts or emotionsWhatever is most predominant in your awareness

This book and accompanying downloadable audio (MP3s) include guided meditations.

Mindfulness meditation comes in two distinct types:

Formal meditation. This is a meditation where you intentionally take time out in your day to embark on a meditative practice. Time out gives you an opportunity to deepen your mindfulness practice and understand more about your mind, its habitual tendencies and how to be mindful for a sustained period of time, with a sense of kindness and curiosity towards yourself and your experience. Formal meditation is mind training. Chapter 6 contains more about formal meditation.Informal meditation. This is where you go into a focused and meditative state of mind as you go about your daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, walking to work, talking to a friend, driving – anything at all. Think of it as everyday mindfulness. In this way, you continue to deepen your ability to be mindful, and train your mind to stay in the present moment rather than habitually straying into the past or future. Informal mindfulness meditation means you can rest in a mindful awareness at any time of day, whatever you’re doing. See Chapter 8 for more ways to be mindful informally.

When I say ‘practise’ with regard to meditation, I don’t mean a rehearsal. To practise meditation means to engage in the meditation exercise – not practising in the sense of aiming one day to get the meditation perfect. You don’t need to judge your meditation or perfect it in any way. Your experience is your experience.

Using Mindfulness to Help You

You know how you get lost in thought? Most of the day, as you go about your daily activities, your mind is left to think whatever it wants. You’re operating on ‘automatic pilot’ (explained more fully in Chapter 5). But some of your automatic thoughts may be unhelpful to you, or perhaps you’re so stuck in those thoughts you don’t actually experience the world around you. For example, you go for a walk in the park to relax, but your mind is lost in thoughts about your next project. First, you’re not really living in the present moment, and second, you’re making yourself more stressed, anxious or depressed if your thoughts are unhelpful. (Chapters 12 and 13 explore overcoming unhelpful thoughts.)

Mindfulness isn’t focused on fixing problems. Mindfulness emphasises acceptance first, and change may or may not come later. So if you suffer from anxiety, mindfulness shows you how to accept the feeling of anxiety rather than denying or fighting the feeling, and through this approach change naturally comes about. As an old saying goes: ‘What we resist, persists.’ Mindfulness says: ‘What you accept, transforms.’

This section explores the many ways in which mindfulness can help you.

In mindfulness, acceptance means to acknowledge your present-moment experience. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation or giving up.

Allowing space to heal

When you have a physical illness, it can be a distressing time. Your condition may be painful or even life-threatening. Perhaps your illness means you’re no longer able to do the simple things in life you took for granted before, like run up the stairs or look after yourself in an independent way. Illness can shake you to your very core. How can you cope with this? How can you build your inner strength to manage the changes that take place, without being overwhelmed and losing all hope?

High levels of stress, particularly over a long period of time, have been clearly shown to reduce the strength of your immune system. Perhaps you went down with flu after a period of high stress. Research on care-givers who experience high levels of stress for long periods of time shows that they have a weaker immune system in response to diseases like flu.

Mindfulness reduces stress, and for this reason is one way of managing illness. By reducing your stress you improve the effectiveness of your immune system, and this may help increase the rate of healing from the illness you suffer, especially if the illness is stress-related.

Mindfulness can reduce stress, anxiety, pain and depression, and boost energy, creativity, the quality of relationships and your overall sense of wellbeing. The more you do mindfulness, the better: monks who’ve practised mindfulness all their lives have levels of wellbeing, measured in their brains, way above anything scientists thought was possible.

Chapter 14 is all about how mindfulness can help to heal the body.

Enjoying greater relaxation

Mindfulness can be a very relaxing experience. As you discover how to rest with an awareness of your breathing or the sounds around you, you may begin to feel calmer.

However, the aim of mindfulness is not relaxation. Relaxation is one of the welcome by-products.

Mindfulness is the development of awareness of your inner and outer experiences, whatever they are, with a sense of kindness, curiosity and acceptance. You may experience very deep states of relaxation when practising mindfulness, or you may not. If you don’t, this doesn’t mean you’re practising mindfulness incorrectly. You just need a little patience.

Why is relaxation not the aim of mindfulness? Try being totally relaxed for the next few minutes. What if you can’t relax? If you aim for relaxation, you’re going to succeed or fail. If you feel you’re failing, you’re just going to become more tense and stressed, which is exactly what you don’t want. In mindfulness, you can’t fail, because you don’t have some experience you have to achieve. You simply practise paying attention to whatever your experience is, as best you can, and whatever happens, happens. You gain an understanding from your experience. Mindfulness is very forgiving!

Table 1-1 shows the difference between relaxation and mindfulness exercises.

Table 1-1 Relaxation versus Mindfulness

Exercise

Aim

Method

Mindfulness

To pay attention to your experience from moment to moment, as best you can, with kindness, curiosity and acknowledgment

To observe your experience and shift your attention back to its focus if you drift into thought, without self-criticism if you can

Relaxation

To make muscles relaxed and to feel calm

Various, such as tightening and letting go of muscles

Improving productivity

To be mindful, you usually need to do one thing at a time. When walking, you just walk. When listening, you just listen. When writing, you just write. By practising formal and informal mindfulness meditation, you’re training your brain, with mindful attitudes like kindness, curiosity and acknowledgement.

So, if you’re writing a report, you focus on that activity as much as you can, without overly straining yourself. Each time your mind wanders off to another thought, you notice what you were thinking about (curiosity), and then without criticising (remember you’re being kind to yourself), you guide your attention back to the writing. So, you finish your report sooner (less time spent thinking about other stuff) and the work is probably of better quality (because you gave the report your full attention). The more you can focus on what you’re doing, the more you can get done. Wow – mindfulness can help you improve your productivity!

You can’t suddenly decide to focus on your work and then become focused. The power of attention isn’t just a snap decision you make. You can train attention, just as you can train your biceps in a gym. Mindfulness is gym for the mind. However, you don’t need to make a huge effort as you do when working out. When training the mind to be attentive, you need to be gentle or the mind becomes less attentive. This is why mindfulness requires kindness. If you’re too harsh with yourself, your mind rebels.

Awareness also means that you notice where energy is being wasted. If you have a habit of worrying or thinking negatively, you can become aware of such thoughts and learn to stop them.

Stress is the biggest cause of absenteeism (not turning up to work). Mindfulness is one way of managing your stress levels and therefore increasing productivity, because you’re more likely to stay healthy and be able to work in the first place. (Perhaps that’s not a benefit, after all!)

Your work also becomes more enjoyable if you’re mindful and when you’re enjoying something you’re more creative and productive. If you’re training your mind to be curious about experience rather than bored, you can be curious about whatever you engage in.

Eventually, through experience, you begin to notice that work flows through you, rather than you doing the work. You find yourself feeding the children or making that presentation. You lose the sense of ‘me’ doing this and become more relaxed and at ease. When this happens, the work is effortless, often of a very high quality and thoroughly enjoyable – which sounds like a nice kind of productivity, don’t you think?

Developing greater wisdom

Wisdom is regarded highly in Eastern and Western traditions. Socrates and Plato considered philosophy as literally the love of wisdom (philo-sophia). According to Eastern traditions, wisdom is your essential nature and leads to a deep happiness for yourself and to helping others to find that happiness within themselves too.

You can access greater wisdom. Mindfulness leads to wisdom, because you learn to handle your own thoughts and emotions skilfully. Just because you have a negative thought, you don’t believe the thought to be true. And when you experience tricky emotions like sadness, anxiety or frustration, you’re able to process them using mindfulness rather than being controlled by them.

With your greater emotional balance, you’re able to listen deeply to others and create fulfilling, lasting relationships. With your clear mind, you’re able to make better decisions. With your open heart, you can be happier and healthier.

Mindfulness leads to wisdom because of your greater level of awareness. You become aware of how you relate to yourself, others and the world around you. With this heightened awareness, you’re in a much better place to make informed choices. Rather than living automatically like a robot, you’re consciously awake and you take action based on reflection and what’s in the best interest of everyone, including yourself.

I consider the Dalai Lama as an example of a wise person. He’s kind and compassionate, and thinks about the welfare of others. He seeks to reduce suffering and increase happiness in humanity as a whole. He isn’t egocentric, laughs a lot and doesn’t seem overwhelmed with all his duties and the significant losses he’s experienced. People seem to thoroughly enjoy spending time with him. He certainly seems to live in a mindful way.

Think about who you consider to be wise people. What are their qualities? I’d guess you find them to be conscious and aware of their actions, rather than habitual and lost in their own thoughts – in other words, they’re mindful!

Discovering your observer self

Mindfulness can lead to an interesting journey of personal discovery. The word person comes from the Latin word persona, originally meaning a character in a drama, or a mask. The word discovery means to dis-cover or to uncover. So in this sense, personal discovery is about uncovering your mask.

As Shakespeare said: ‘All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.’ Through mindfulness practice, you begin to see your roles, your persona or mask(s) as part of what it means to be you. You still do everything you did before: you can keep helping people or making money or whatever you like doing, but you know that this is only one way of seeing things, one dimension of your being.

You probably wear all sorts of different masks for different roles that you play. You may be a parent, daughter or son, partner, employee. Each of these roles asks you to fulfil certain obligations. You may not be aware that it’s possible to put all the masks down through mindfulness practice.

Mindfulness is an opportunity to just be yourself. When practising mindfulness meditation, you sometimes have clear experiences of a sense of being. You may feel a deep, undivided sense of peace, of stillness and calm. Your physical body, which usually feels so solid, sometimes fades into the background of your awareness, and you have a sense of connection with your surroundings.

Some people become very attached to these experiences and try hard to repeat them, as if they’re ‘getting closer’ to something. However, over time you come to realise that even these seemingly blissful experiences also come and go. Enjoy them when they come, and then let them go.

Through the practice of mindfulness, you may come to discover that you’re a witness to life’s experiences. Thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations come and go in your mindfulness practice, and yet a part of you is just observing this all happening – awareness itself. This is something very simple that everyone can see and experience. In fact, being naturally yourself is so simple, you easily overlook it.

According to Eastern philosophy, as this witness, you’re perfect, whole and complete just as you are. You may not feel as if you’re perfect, because you identify with your thoughts and emotions, which are always changing. Ultimately you don’t need to do anything to attain this natural state, because you are this natural state all the time – right here and right now.

For these reasons, mindfulness is not about self-improvement. At the core of your being, you’re perfect just the way you are! Mindfulness exercises and meditations are just to help train your brain to be more focused and calm, and your heart to be warm and open. Mindfulness is not about changing you: it’s about realising that you’re perfectly beautiful within, just the way you are.

Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth: Create a Better Life, says:

‘What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.’

Once you discover that you’re the witness of all experience, you’re less disturbed by the ups and downs of life. This understanding offers you a way to a happier life. It’s that little bit easier to go with the flow and see life as an adventure rather than just a series of struggles.

Starting the Mindfulness Adventure

Mindfulness isn’t a quick fix, but the adventure of a lifetime. Imagine mindfulness as being like a journey on a boat. You’re an explorer looking for new and undiscovered land. Along the way I’ll explain how mindfulness mirrors such a journey.

Beginning the voyage

The journey begins, and you set sail. You’re not sure what you’re going to find, and you may not be too sure why you’re going in the first place, but that’s part of the excitement and adventure. You may think that you’re finally doing something you really enjoy and can gain from. This is what you wanted to do, and you’re on the boat now. At the same time, you’re a bit anxious about what may happen – what if things don’t work out?

The beginning of the mindfulness journey may feel like this for you. You may be thinking, ‘Finally, I’ve found what I need to do,’ and you’re keen to find out how to do it, being curious and in anticipation. At the same time, you may feel unsure that you can ‘do’ mindfulness: you suspect you don’t have the patience/focus/discipline/inner strength. You have ideas about the journey of mindfulness. At the moment you may suffer from x and y, and after reading this book you want to have reduced those painful feelings. You may have clear goals you want to achieve and hope mindfulness is going to help you to achieve those goals.

Having a long-term vision as to what you hope to achieve from mindfulness is helpful, but concentrating too much on goals is unhelpful. Mindfulness is ultimately a goalless activity. Mindfulness is process-oriented rather than goal-oriented. You’re not actually going anywhere. This is the paradox of mindfulness. If you get overly obsessed with the goals, you focus on the goal rather than the process. However, mindfulness is the journey itself. You aren’t going to reach the present moment sometime in the future: you can only be in the present moment now. More important than anything else is how you meet this moment. If you can train yourself to be open, curious, accepting, kind and aware of this moment, the future takes care of itself. So, as you steer your boat, keep aware and awake. See Chapter 3 for more about vision in mindfulness.

Overcoming challenges

As you continue your mindfulness journey, before long the initial excitement begins to wear off. You experience rough seas and pirates! Some days, you wish you hadn’t started this journey in the first place. Perhaps you should have just stayed at home.

Regularly practising mindfulness can be challenging. What was new and exciting to begin with no longer feels fresh. You may sense a resistance to sit down and meditate, even for a short period, but without knowing why. Don’t worry: this is very common. When you overcome the initial resistance, you may discover the practice isn’t as bad as you imagined meditating to be. As soon as you start, you feel okay and even enjoy it. You also feel great afterwards, because you managed to overcome the initial resistance of your mind to do something for your own health and wellbeing.

Each time you struggle with the thoughts and feelings in your mindfulness practice, you’re generally not accepting or acknowledging them as the natural state of your mind. Lack of acknowledgement usually means criticism of yourself or of the whole process of mindfulness. If you persevere, you discover slowly but surely the importance of accepting your thoughts and emotions and the situation you’re in and not blaming anyone for that situation, including yourself. In mindfulness, acceptance always comes first; change follows.

Another common challenge is understanding the right attitude to bring to your mindfulness practice. Unhelpful but common attitudes include:

I’m going do this and must get it right.I should focus 100 per cent.I’m going to try extremely hard.

Having done a bit of mindfulness meditation, you get thoughts like ‘I can’t focus at all’ or ‘My mind was all over the place. I can’t do it’ or ‘That was a bad meditation.’ However, as you continue your journey of mindfulness, your attitudes begin to shift towards thoughts such as:

I’m going to bring an attitude of kindness and curiosity, and acknowledge whatever my experience is, as best I can.I won’t try too hard, nor will I give up. I’ll stay somewhere in the middle.My mind is bound to wander off. That’s okay and part of being mindful.There’s no such thing as a bad meditation.

Reaching the other side

One day, a young man was going for a walk when he reached a wide river. He spent a long time wondering how he would cross such a gushing current. Just when he was about to give up his journey, he saw his teacher on the other side. The young man shouted from the bank: ‘Can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river?’

The teacher smiled and replied: ‘My friend, you are on the other side.’

You may feel that you have to change, when actually you just have to realise that perhaps you’re fine just the way you are. You’re running to achieve goals so that you can be peaceful and happy, but actually you’re running away from the peace and happiness. Mindfulness is an invitation to stop running and rest. You’re already on the other side.

As your attitudes change, mindful exercises and meditations becomes easier, because you’re bombarded by fewer judgemental thoughts during and after the practice. And even if you do have judgemental thoughts, you treat them like all the other thoughts you experience and let them go as best you can.

Exploring the journey of a lifetime

After sailing for a long time, you finally see some land in the distance that’s more beautiful than anything you’ve seen in your exploration. You decide to stop when you get there. The land looks so new and fresh, but at the same time very familiar and cosy. As you draw closer, you discover that you’re approaching your own house. Of all the places you’ve been and all the adventures you’ve had, you feel most at home here, the place you left! However, the journey hasn’t been fruitless. You’ve discovered much along the way and had to travel that journey to discover what you most treasure.

Ultimately in mindfulness, you realise that you don’t need to search for anything at all. Everything is okay just the way things are. You’re already home. Each moment is magical, new and fresh. Each moment is a treasure never to be repeated again, ever. Your awareness is always shining, lighting up the world around you and inside you effortlessly. Awareness has no off or on switch: awareness is always effortlessly on. Although you experience ups and downs, pleasures and pain, you no longer hang onto things as much, and you therefore suffer less. This isn’t so much a final goal as an ongoing journey of a lifetime. Life continues to unfold in its own way, and you begin to grasp how to flow with life.

Buddha is quoted as saying:

‘The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.’

The journey of mindfulness is to discover how to live this way.

A taste of mindfulness: Mindfulness of Senses

You may like to experience a little mindfulness. You could read endlessly about what a coconut tastes like, but you won’t really know till you taste it yourself. The same goes for mindfulness.

The beauty of this simple mindfulness exercise is that it covers everything you need to know about mindfulness. I have adapted the exercise from a technique I discovered at a ‘school of practical philosophy’ many years ago. I would like to pass on the gift to you.

This exercise is best done by listing to Track 2 from the audio. Find a comfortable posture for you. You can sit up in a chair, a couch or lie down on a mat – whatever you prefer. Begin by noticing the colours entering your eyes. Notice the tones, shades and hues. Enjoy the miracle of sight that some people don’t have. Then, gently close your eyes and be aware of the sense of touch. The sensations of your body. The feeling of your body naturally and automatically breathing. Feel areas of tension and relaxation. Next, be aware of scent. Then move on to any taste in your mouth. Next, become aware of sounds. Sounds near and far. Listen to the sound itself, not so much your thoughts about the sounds. Let go of all effort when listening – allow the sounds to come to you. Finally drop into your observer self – the awareness that lights up all your senses. Rest in that background awareness, whatever that means for you. The feeling of ‘being’. The feeling of ‘I am’ that we all have. Just let go of all effort to do something, and just be…and when you’re ready, bring this mindful exercise to a close and stretch your body if you wish.

Consider these questions:

What effect did that exercise have on your body and mind? What did you discover?

If you want to become more mindful, you could simply practise this exercise a few times a day. The exercise is simple but powerful and transformative when practised regularly.

Chapter 2

Enjoying the Benefits of Mindfulness

In This Chapter

Understanding what mindfulness is for

Discovering the effects of mindfulness on your thoughts and emotions

Exploring the heart of mindfulness

The enjoyment that comes from mindfulness is a bit like the enjoyment that comes from dancing. Do you dance because of the cardiovascular benefits or for boosting your brain by following a tricky dance routine? When you dance with a goal or motive in mind, it kind of spoils it a bit, doesn’t it? Dancing for the sake of dancing is far more fun. But of course, dancing for the sheer pleasure of it doesn’t reduce the benefits on your mind and body of dancing – they’re just the icing on the cake.

In the same way, be mindful for the sake of being mindful. Mindfulness is about connecting with your senses, being curious, exploring the inner workings of the human mind. If you’re too concerned about reaping the benefits of mindfulness, you spoil the fun of it. The journey of mindfulness isn’t to reach a certain destination: the journey is the destination. Keep this in mind as you read about the various benefits of mindfulness described in this chapter, and let the dance of mindfulness unfold within you. The benefits of mindfulness – relaxation, better mental and emotional health, and an improved relationship with yourself and others – are just the added bonuses along the way. Read on to discover how mindfulness can help you.

Relaxing the Body

The body and mind are almost one entity. If your mind is tense with anxious thoughts, your body automatically tenses as well. They go together, hand in hand.

Why does your body become tense when you experience high levels of stress? The reason is mechanical and wired in the human body. When you experience stress, a chain reaction starts in your body, and your whole being prepares to fight or flee the situation. So a lot of energy surges through your body; because your body doesn’t know what to do with this energy, you tense up.

The aim of mindfulness isn’t to simply make you more relaxed. Mindfulness goes far deeper than that. Mindfulness – a mindful awareness – is about becoming aware and exploring your moment-by-moment experience, in a joyful way if at all possible.

So if you’re tense, mindfulness means becoming aware of that tension. Which part of your body feels tense? What shape, colour and texture is that tension? What’s your reaction to the tension; what are your thoughts? Mindfulness is about bringing curiosity to your experience. Then you can begin breathing into the tense part of your body, bringing kindness and acknowledging your experience – again, not trying to change or get rid of the tension. And that’s it. Rest assured, doing this often leads to relaxation. See Chapter 12 for more on stress reduction.

Getting back in touch

As a baby, you were probably very much in touch with your body. You noticed subtle sensations, and may have enjoyed feeling different textures in the world around you. As you grew up, you learnt to use your head more and your body less. You probably aren’t as in touch with your body as you were as a young child. You may not notice subtle messages that the body gives you through the mind. I’m sure that some people see the body as simply a vehicle for carrying the brain from one meeting to another!

In fact, the messages between your mind and body are a two-way process. Your mind gives signals to your body, and your body gives signals to your mind. You think, ‘I fancy reading that mindfulness book,’ and your body picks it up. You feel hungry, and your body signals to your mind that it’s time to eat. What about the feeling of stress? If you notice the tension in your shoulders, the twitch in your eye, or the rapid beating of your heart, again your body is sending signals to your mind.

What if your mind is so busy with its own thoughts that it doesn’t even notice the signals from your body? When this happens, you’re no longer in touch with or looking after your body. Hunger and thirst, tiredness and stress – you’re no longer hearing clearly your instinctual messages. This leads to a further disconnection between bodily signals and your mind, so things can get worse. Stress can spiral out of control though this lack of awareness.

Mindfulness emphasises awareness of your body. An important mindfulness meditation is the body scan (described in full in Chapter 6). In this meditation, you spend 10–30 minutes simply being guided to pay attention to different parts of your body, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Some people’s reaction is, ‘Wow, I’ve never paid so much attention to my body; that was interesting!’ or ‘I now feel I’m moving back into my body.’

The body scan meditation can offer a healing experience. Emotions you experienced in the past but weren’t ready to feel, perhaps because you were too young, can be suppressed and trapped in the body. Sometimes, people suffer for years from a particular physical ailment, but doctors are unable to explain the cause of it. Then, through counselling or meditation, the suppressed emotion arises into consciousness, which releases the emotion. The tightness in the body or the unexplained ‘dis-ease’ sometimes disappear with the release of the emotion. This is another example of how interconnected mind and body really are, and of the benefits of getting back in touch with the body. Chapter 14