Miscellaneous Jokes E-Book

Jeo King

• Herausgeber: MARINE PUBLISHING
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 42

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016

Beschreibung

Miscellaneous Jokes
One hundred of hilarious and funny jokes !
Have fun and laugh!

Das E-Book Miscellaneous Jokes wird angeboten von MARINE PUBLISHING und wurde mit folgenden Begriffen kategorisiert:
jokes

Leseprobe

Jeo King

Miscellaneous Jokes

ISBN: 978-1-365-04396-3

This ebook was created with StreetLib Write (http://write.streetlib.com)by Simplicissimus Book Farm

Table of contents

Marine Publishing Edition License Notes

MISCELLANEOUS JOKES

Marine Publishing Edition License Notes

Jokes Series

Copyright© 2016 Biography Series

Published by Leo King

Marine Publishing Edition License Notes

This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Amazon.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

MISCELLANEOUS JOKES

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Anonymous

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Anonymous

10 Facts About You:

1. You're reading this now.

2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact.

4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3.

5. You're checking now.

6. You're smiling.

7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid.

9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8.

10.You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again.

11. You're enjoying this.

12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.

Joke maker

There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.

Anonymous

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Seven."

Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Seven."

Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Six."

Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Seven!"

Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"

Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Capricorn37

A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.

flolez

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

Mark My Words