My Mother's Funeral: The Show E-Book

Kelly Jones

• Herausgeber: Nick Hern Books
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Serie: NHB Modern Plays
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 63

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Abigail's mum is dead. But it turns out she can't afford her to be. Did you know how expensive it is to die? It's £4,000 for the funeral. Extra for flowers. And even more if you want sausage rolls. Otherwise, she'll get a council funeral and an unmarked grave. In her work as a playwright, Abigail has been asked to write about something raw, from her 'unique working-class lens'. Something that will make the audience feel gratifyingly bad about themselves. And so, to afford the funeral, she has to write about her mum. Kelly Jones's My Mother's Funeral: The Show playfully tackles the inequalities we face around death, and the cost of turning your loved ones into art. It was co-produced by Paines Plough; Mercury Theatre, Colchester; Belgrade Theatre, Coventry; Landmark Theatres and Royal & Derngate, Northampton – and premiered in 2024 at the Belgrade, before a UK tour including a run at Paines Plough's Roundabout at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, where it won a Fringe First Award and a Summerhall Lustrum Award.

Leseprobe

Kelly Jones

MY MOTHER’S FUNERAL: THE SHOW

NICK HERN BOOKS

London

Contents

Original Production Details

Acknowledgements

Dedication

Characters

My Mother’s Funeral: The Show

About the Author

Copyright and Performing Rights Information

My Mother’s Funeral: The Show was first performed at the Belgrade Theatre, Coventry, on 25 July 2024. The cast was as follows:

DARREN

Samuel Armfield

MUM

Debra Baker

ABIGAIL

Nicole Sawyerr

Director

Charlotte Bennett

Set and Costume Designer

Rhys Jarman

Lighting Designer

Joshua Gadsby

Sound Designer

Asaf Zohar

Movement Director

Rachael Nanyonjo

Dramaturg

Lauren Mooney

RTYDS Intensive Residency Director (supported by the RTYDS Annie Castledine Award)

Phillippe Cato

Casting Director

Nadine Rennie CDG

Production Manager

Harry Armytage for The Production Office

Company Stage Manager

Roni Neale

A Paines Plough, Mercury Theatre, Belgrade Theatre, Landmark Theatres, and Royal & Derngate, Northampton co-production.

Acknowledgements

With huge thanks to: Charlotte Bennett for directing the play so beautifully. Thank you for your belief, openness, and for allowing me to tell the story I want to tell. Dramaturg Lauren Mooney for helping me tame this beast. Everyone at Paines Plough. Evie King and Ruth Arnold for your generosity. My incredible agent Maeve Bolger. Everyone who has supported the idea from the beginning – Dilek Latif, Ryan McBryde, the Mercury Theatre Colchester. The New Play Commissions Scheme. Deirdre O’Halloran and the Bush. National Theatre Studio Generate. All actors and creatives who have read and informed the play at various stages – Grace Duggan, Joanna Bacon, Doreene Blackstock, Lilly Driscoll, Shane Zaza, Thomas Coombes, Fanta Barrie, Rebekah Murrell, Ashna Rabheru, Jake Davies, Kenny Emson and Ella Hickson. Special thanks to the cast of this production: Sam Armfield, Debra Baker and Nicole Sawyerr, who have brought so much joy, humour and talent to the rehearsal room; and have brought the play to life with such beauty and truth, I am in awe. My friends and family. My mum, for making me strong. My dad, for always making me laugh. My writing ride-or-dies the Defectors (RA, AG, IL, TW). All the partners making this happen – Mercury Theatre, Belgrade Theatre Coventry, Landmark Theatres, Royal & Derngate, Northampton; and finally: Nick Hern Books for publishing this edition.

K.J.

To Lucy and Zeta, without whom none of this would be possible. Love you x

Characters

ABIGAIL WALLER, twenties

MUM, fifties

GRAVEDIGGER ONE

GRAVEDIGGER TWO

DIRECTOR

FUNERAL DIRECTOR

DARREN WALLER, thirties

BANK

DIFFERENT BANK

CREDIT CARD

LOANS

ACE

MATE

DATE

CASH FOR STUFF

MORTICIAN

ACTOR

SET DESIGNER

TECHIE

COUNCIL

The actor playing Abigail should always play Abigail. All other characters are doubled as below:

DARREN/DIRECTOR/GRAVEDIGGER/DIFFERENT BANK/ LOANS/MATE/CASH FOR STUFF

MUM/ACTOR/GRAVEDIGGER/FUNERAL DIRECTOR/ MORTICIAN/BANK/CREDIT CARD/LOANS/ACE/DATE/ SET DESIGNER

All three actors should be active and onstage all the time; even if they are not scripted in a scene, they should be preparing for their next one in full view.

Note on Text

A forward slash (/) indicates overlapping dialogue.

An ellipses (…) means an unfinished thought or space, not as defined as a pause.

A dash (–) indicates an interruption.

Words in [brackets] should not be spoken.

Punctuation is used to dictate rhythm and pace.

A line that ends without punctuation indicates incompleteness. In lines with a full stop (.) it should be played.

Note on Play

A basic funeral in 2024 costs over £4000.

Funeral costs have risen 126% in the last twenty years.

7% of all funerals conducted are by local councils.

www.sunlife.co.uk/funeral-costs

This ebook was created before the end of rehearsals and so may differ slightly from the play as performed.

GRAVEDIGGERS ONE and TWO are digging a hole in the ground. Mud piling high, portable radio blaring; they keep digging.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. It’s all relative mate

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Is it?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Course. Some places have bombs for breakfast.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. I know…

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Kids get snatched, cancer, the economy’s fucked, there’s people living in doorways

GRAVEDIGGER TWO.…all of that, still.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Pays the bills

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. That’s debatable

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. I don’t mind it

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Hand on heart?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. I would if I had one mate.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. I’m not like that

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Give it a few months.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. I couldn’t drink my tea this morning

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. I don’t drink tea, on burial days

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. The milk was off. Except it weren’t, but somehow my brain had me convinced. Then ‘off milk’ became ‘off people’, now I’m not sure I’ll ever drink tea again

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. First-time nerves that’s all

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Do you ever think about who they are?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. I don’t take it seriously mate

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. It is serious though.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Not for us

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. What if it was someone you knew?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Who?

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. A neighbour or…?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. I’d know

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. How would ya?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Nothing gets past me

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Yet here you are.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. And here you are, three foot deep

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. I couldn’t afford a funeral.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail, my ol’ man used to say.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Don’t you think it’s sad though?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Cancer’s sad. Fucking West Ham losing, that’s sad.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Four today, five tomorrow

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Could be anyone in there though. Murderer, nonce, Tory

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. In Dagenham?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Be surprised mate

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. No way.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. We get all sorts

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Probably some old dear, died alone, no savings, no generous relatives.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. We all end up the same.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. They did a documentary when Jimmy Savile died

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. One big ready meal, mate.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. And a drama with Steve Coogan. I won’t get Steve Coogan.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Wouldn’t want him.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Wouldn’t know. All I’m sayin’ is…

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. It’s a box mate

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. It ain’t though, is it?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Parcel for the earth. Deliveroo for the worms. Mrs Worm bulk-ordering her Mills and Boons. Fucking Fifty Shades.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Woteva mate.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Muddy cow. Ha.

…

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Should we say something?

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Ain’t allowed.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Wouldn’t know.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. He wouldn’t hear us anyway.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. Suppose not.

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Come on. Let’s go get you a cuppa.

GRAVEDIGGER TWO. I am gaspin’

GRAVEDIGGER ONE. Same mate. Same.

House lights flicker. They exit.

MUM (fifties) enters. She waits, and waits, and…

Beat.

ABIGAIL WALLER (twenties) stands looking around the space. DIRECTOR approaches.

DIRECTOR. Abigail Waller, there she is.

ABIGAIL. Thanks for seeing me.

DIRECTOR. Drink? We’ve got a lovely elderflower pressé

ABIGAIL. Water’s fine, ta. Especially at such short notice

DIRECTOR. I always make time for my favourite writers…

ABIGAIL. I do appreciate it

DIRECTOR. … when they show up unannounced

ABIGAIL. I have been emailing, but no one replied

DIRECTOR. If anything we should be appreciating you

ABIGAIL. Not that you have to

DIRECTOR. For your time, your brilliant ideas

ABIGAIL. I’m no Shakespeare

DIRECTOR. Without artists like you, Abigail

Beat.

ABIGAIL. Artists like me

DIRECTOR. Storytellers with interesting things to say about worlds we wouldn’t get to know about otherwise.

ABIGAIL. That’s what I thought

DIRECTOR. I was only telling someone yesterday what you told me about the trauma of having never lived somewhere with stairs before

ABIGAIL. I don’t think I said that

DIRECTOR. Word for word

ABIGAIL. Cos, I do have stairs and a lift. They’re not mine but I don’t lie awake at night longing for my own. Of all the things wrong, I’m not like, why don’t we all have our own set, ya know.