No Romance E-Book

Nancy Harris

• Herausgeber: Nick Hern Books
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

A tender and funny tale about our secret selves, No Romance is a play about our search for connection in a fractured world. It received the Stewart Parker Trust Award in 2012. Laura has a secret. Joe's has been revealed. Peg's been keeping hers for years. Rich with the absurdities, hypocrisies and vulnerabilities that course through our lives, Nancy Harris's No Romance playfully observes the longings, fears and desires we reveal - and don't reveal - in our closest relationships. No Romance was first staged at the Abbey Theatre, Dublin, in 2011.

Leseprobe

Nancy Harris

NO ROMANCE

NICK HERN BOOKS

London

www.nickhernbooks.co.uk

Contents

Original Production Details

Dedication

Note on Text

Author’s Note

Characters

No Romance

About the Author

Copyright and Performing Rights Information

No Romance was first performed at the the Abbey Theatre, Dublin, on the Peacock stage on 1 March 2011. The cast was as follows:

LAURA

Janet Moran

GAIL

Natalie Radmall-Quirke

CARMEL

Tina Kellegher

JOE

Stephen Brennan

PEG

Stella McCusker

MICHAEL

Conor Mullen

JOHNNY

Dáire Cassidy

Director

Wayne Jordan

Set and Lighting Design

Paul Keogan

Costume Design

Donna Geraghty

Music and Sound Design

Carl Kennedy

Video Design

Rachel Sullivan

Company Stage Manager

Anne Kyle

Deputy Stage Manager

Stephen Dempsey

Assistant Stage Manager

Orla Burke

Voice Director

Andrea Ainsworth

Casting Director

Holly Ní Chiardha (CDG)

Hair and Make-up

Val Sherlock

Chaperone

Emma Ryan

Photography

Ros Kavanagh

Graphic Design

Zero-G

Sign Language Interpreter

Ali Stewart

For my mother and father

Note on the Text

[ ] indicates a word or sentence that is not spoken, but conveyed in the playing

… indicates an unfinished or unarticulated thought

– indicates a very brief pause or a beat where a thought is being clarified

/ indicates the point at which the next speaker interrupts

Time

Ireland, present day.

Sets should be spare and not necessarily naturalistic. Props are referred to in the text but how much detail and furniture is needed is entirely up to the vision of the director and designer.

The main concern is that each story is able to move fluidly into the next.

This text went to press before the end of rehearsals and so may differ slightly from the play as performed.

Author’s Note

I would like to thank Fiach Mac Conghail and Aideen Howard at the Abbey Theatre for commissioning and supporting No Romance since its inception.

I would also like to express my heartfelt gratitude and appreciation to the following – Wayne Jordan, Rochelle Stevens, Julia Molony, Holly Ni Chiardha, Claire Everett, Mary Devally, Anthony Weigh, Roisin McBrinn, Heather Thornton, Jimmy Fay, The Irish Cancer Society and The Peggy Ramsey Foundation.

And lastly my family – Anne, Eoghan, Connie, Mungo and MirKev. For everything.

Characters

ONE

LAURA, thirty-six – a client wanting to be photographed. When she talks, she talks.

GAIL, thirty-six – the photographer. Restrained, but not unkind.

TWO

CARMEL, late forties – works in a bank. Nicely dressed for the occasion.

JOE, fifties – currently not working. Carmel’s husband.

THREE

PEG, eighty.

MICHAEL, forty-two – her son. A hard-working, harassed aura.

THREE PEG, eighty. MICHAEL, forty-two – her son. A hard-working, harassed aura. JOHNNY, twelve – Peg’s grandson, Michael’s son. Quiet, awkward. Holds a Sony PSP.

ONE

The living room of an upmarket apartment in Dublin’s city centre, now being used as a makeshift photographic studio.

The room is sparse and white and with very little furniture in it except for lights, a camera and a stool. There may also be a small makeshift screen for changing behind somewhere in a corner. A bag of ‘costumes’ LAURA has brought for the shoot sits on the floor.

A large white muslin sheet hangs against the walls. On the far wall, the muslin sheet hides an open space – like a window in the wall – that looks out into the hall. It is one of those architectural quirks of an expensive modern apartment that serves no real purpose other than to make the room a bit different. In this instance, because of the bright lights and the muslin cloth, anyone passing in the hall is lit up in silhouette.

LAURA stands in the middle of the room, heavily made-up and wearing what looks like a makeshift medieval costume with a slightly sexy twist. She looks vaguely ridiculous.

The two women stare at one another for a beat.

GAIL. Okay.

LAURA. Sorry.

GAIL. No /

LAURA. It’s a bit of a shock, I can tell by your face.

GAIL. It’s – no, it’s not a shock, it’s just /

LAURA. Not what you were expecting.

GAIL. Well /

LAURA. It’s alright. It was my sister’s bridesmaid dress. It’s a bit small for me – she’s a ten. I’m a fourteen. On a good week. And actually it doesn’t go up all the way at the back. See?

GAIL. Oh /

LAURA. But I thought, you know, that that might be good because it might look a bit – you know.

GAIL. Yes.

LAURA. Because I want it to be tight.

GAIL. Sure.

LAURA. I want it to be vampish.

GAIL. Yes.

LAURA. That’s sort of the point.

GAIL. Of course.

LAURA. And I have a wand too.

GAIL. A wand?

LAURA rummages in the bag of clothes. Pulls out a wand.

LAURA. Ta-da.

GAIL. Oh – yes, you meant a – wand-wand. I see.

LAURA holds up the wand.

So you’re a – fairy?

LAURA. Well, no. More like a princess-type thing. I think.

GAIL. Right.

LAURA. That was the idea.

GAIL. It’s just – I thought it you said you were going for a medieval look.

LAURA. Well, yeah, I am. It is medieval. A medieval princess.

GAIL. I see.

LAURA. I was thinking Guinevere. Though she was a Queen, but maybe a Queen’s more – I mean, as long as it’s not a drag queen. I don’t look like a drag queen, do I?

GAIL. No /

LAURA. It’s Knights of the Round Table I’m going for but I don’t want to be mistaken for the knight /

GAIL. No /

LAURA. If you get me. Cos they were all pretty saucy, weren’t they? Those knights in their gear. They were always off having affairs and whatnot. With comely maidens and other people’s wives. I mean, look at Guinevere.

GAIL nods.

GAIL. Hmmn.

Then confesses.

I actually don’t know anything about – Guinevere.

LAURA. Oh, she was fabulous, Guinevere. She was King Arthur’s wife, which was – quite a coup at the time. She was a Queen so technically she had it all, but she was unhappy because Arthur was off being King and spending all his time with his armies or what have you and she’s alone with a sewing kit. Then one day she meets Arthur’s handsome knight, Lancelot, who awakens her passions and is sensitive to her needs – one imagines. They fall madly in love and have a big torrid affair, which Arthur finds out about, and he sentences Guinevere to death. On a fire.

GAIL. Fire?

LAURA. Or a pyre.

GAIL. God.

LAURA. Yeah. But Lancelot rescues her and takes her away. And there’s a war of course – there usually is – and then she goes off and has to join a nunnery and… well, that’s the end of that.

GAIL. Right.

LAURA. It’s always the fucking nunnery in the end.

GAIL. I had no idea you were such an – expert on all this.

LAURA. Oh, I love all those old love stories. I love love stories. I’m going on, aren’t I? You have to stop me.

GAIL. No. It’s good to – have a context for [all this]… So you’re – Guinevere then?

LAURA. Well, I suppose. That was sort of – I mean – I didn’t really – I didn’t exactly pin anything down – in my head. But that was sort of my idea with the dress and stuff… Guinevere. What do you think?

LAURA stands up straight and holds out the wand. GAIL surveys her.

GAIL. I think the wand is a bit confusing.

LAURA. Really?

GAIL. It’s a bit – Disney.

LAURA. Oh.

GAIL. I don’t understand what a medieval queen is doing with a wand. Wands aren’t real – if she were there with a goblet or something, I’d believe it, but a wand…

LAURA looks at the wand somewhat disheartened.

I think if you’re going to be medieval, be medieval, you know.

LAURA. You’re right. God – wand. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course she wouldn’t have a wand. No one has a wand.

GAIL. No.

LAURA. I think I just liked the idea of holding something.

LAURA puts the wand down.

Would a riding crop be better?

GAIL. I think you’re fine as you… are.

Beat.

LAURA. Are you sure you’re alright with all this?

GAIL. Me?

LAURA. Cos I know it’s a bit /

GAIL. I’m fine /

LAURA. Not your usual run-of-the-mill Monday morning. Probably.

GAIL. There are no usual Monday mornings.

LAURA. That’s what I sort of thought. When I saw your website and the sort of stuff you’re doing now with the transsexuals and the girls in the red-light district and the – lady boys, I thought – Gail’s the one, Gail’s the one I should go to for this, she’ll get it. And now I find you’re writing a book.

GAIL. Well, no /

LAURA. I always knew you’d be famous.

GAIL. Not writing.

LAURA. Publishing.