No Words: January E-Book

Larissa Mundim

• Herausgeber: Nega Lilu Editora
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 79

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

About love in recent times and mediated affective relationships. From chats and exchanged emails between Darkie and Leeloo, the reader is invited to access the intimacy of a relationship that starts with the aim to write a tale 4 hands, which has as method the experience lived between them. "January" is the third chapter of "No Words", a Brazilian fiction novel written by Larissa Mundim and Valentina Prado, translated into English by Mariana Dominguez.

Leseprobe

Larissa Mundim | Valentina Prado

Goiânia/GO - Brazil Nega Lilu Editora

Chapter III (in progress) – Part 2

from

Laura Passing <[email protected]>

to

Brisa Marin <[email protected]>

date

Jan 1, 2010 at 19:48

subject

Chapter III (in progress) – Part 2

mailed-by    

gmail.com

No Words

Chapter III

I am yours.

I woke up empty. Still eyes, like a rag doll.

I kept quiet understanding a few things. I revisited our story from this side and from the other side. There was fog in my thoughts. Did I lose something or someone?

Morning came without me hearing a word from Gabriela. In the small hours, the last whisper had sounded to me in Aramaic.

Embedded bodies. Reliefs. We would be enclosed in each other for as long as that free, mysterious and open contact would last, but limited in its space and time. Like a crystallized second.

— Angelina...

A brief sigh responds.

In the night we spent together, Gabriela did not want to sleep, she opted for discoveries. At first, she had said that she preferred subtleties, but she surrendered to the naturalism. She bit me whole, explored my geography as announced. She left marks on the epidermis. I will not forget the movement, full of sensuality, of her capoeira.

The silhouette of her breasts was imprinted in my retina. I remained excited for days on end, especially in traffic. I spent hours organizing our soundtrack. I listed things that I wanted to do with you. All while you were away.

As the days passed and we didn’t see each other, I convinced myself that your skin contrasting with mine and our other polarities would continue to bring encounters and fantastic premieres, if we did not pay attention to what was presenting itself as ponderous.

That was when I wanted to advance. When I realized that her absence was already affecting me. Not seeing her was like skipping a day to wait for the next morning.

Aware of the trap, I turned to the rational plan. I went around in circles studying that equation without any intention to solve it. Positive and negative. Positive and positive. Negative and positive. Negative and negative.

To remain exactly where we were was to keep diving in dark ocean waters, possessed by the fluidity of the movement that originates and intensely develops from inside out from inside out, projecting itself to occupy a brand new place.

Oh my God, how I wanted Gabriela. How I wanted her for myself!

It would be necessary to attenuate the latent, moist and misplaced desire. However, I kept sublimating her presence, looking to nurture our passion during the furtive and youthful situations created so that we could be together. We were 17 again.

Her absence affected me in such a way that I desired her immensely and then I didn’t! I spent my days denying the truest, most reciprocate emotions I had ever felt and, at night, I closed my eyes wanting to have you, with my heart beating in between my legs. Living between the hot and the cold was cracking my glass dome in days overflowing with dedication or a subtle rebellion, also in alternate frequencies.

Gabriela knew it all and she’d ask: “Is everything ok with you?”. And I would answer: “Just normal...” (Exercising the knowledge obtained from the ancient literature on pain and delight, typical of those who share the loved one. A constant test of self-esteem that reveals itself in a misplaced mix of detachment, generosity, resignation, perseverance, jealousy, faith, transcendence).

Knowing of my escapades to the rational plan, she said she was surprised: “I thought things were not so tense, more relaxed...”

Our dialog became naturally tacit (it was great), and silence as an expression allowed me to keep a secret of my impressions about the misery of lovers. I only told her that I had no vocation to share love and that to me there was no lightness in playing a supporting role. So, in a seemingly contradictory way, I decided to forge Angelina’s invisibility: discretion as a natural gift. An enchanted cloak that would protect me, allowing me to protect Gabriela. The secret weapon that provided me with the power of matter self-disintegration with autonomy for a strategic reappearance.

“I miss you”, said my dear over the phone, between an appointment and the other. “I called to tell you how I adore you...” It was the day before our date and we were initiating the warming-up ritual. Long foreplays left us in a deplorable physiological state, ready to lose control over this endurance of longingness. “May God protect you”, we vowed to one another over a cup of tea.

“I like the bed, coexisting in the bed.... Kissing, hugging, talking. I like boobs but also dicks.” This I heard from Gabriela before we even had experienced many pleasures together. Excitement to hear her talk about these things, as her coherence is so seductive.

Whenever we would meet and resume our narrative of bodies, I had the impression that her intensity and renewed interest for sexuality allowed her to get involved with, at least, another woman or a man. I even imagined myself observing from my plateau the whole world in their own plateaus and you flying from one platform to the other. Breaking a wing here, breaking a wing there. She would fly to another one in the name of a cutting longingness. You are beautiful!

“I don’t want other beds, I want your sheets, Angelina. Your presence transforms me.” She declared, interrupting a kiss and starting another one voraciously.

I threw myself in a seagull flight. We were together.

Hands strongly clasped above our heads and the trembling bodies soaked in sweat, engraved in one another, tuning in. Treble clef. I penetrated Gabriela insatiable: “Stay, please stay”, she begged. And I wouldn’t leave her for anything!

My tongue would write the lyrics to our song in all surfaces within my reach. She came, she screamed, freely. Without rest, in a languid choreography, she sat on my fingers, riding them sensually. I contemplated still the cadency of our fuck, caressing her back and behind without touching her, loving her entirely, in my own way. She came and screamed freely.

“Now suck me, baby...”

Gabriela presented herself immediately. She invaded the labia majora to devour me. She searched, mapped, realized it all.

Re: Chapter III (in progress) – Part 2

from

Brisa Marin <[email protected]>

to

Laura Passing <[email protected]>

date

Jan 2, 2010 at 9:01

subject

Re: Chapter III (in progress) – Part 2

mailed-by    

gmail.com

I went through the chapter like a character. Something so exploratory and intimate that blends so many sensations. Realism, hyper-realism, realism, literature. Positivism, dialectics, rationalism. Beauties of subjectivity (a delight). Sometimes a dedicated reader overflowing with pride and desire for the author; other times a lover heated up by passion, melting with desire for Angelina. Sometimes sliding gently in the taste of the events, other times an acrobat walking an unknown tightrope with concentration and tension. Assured that our many polarities can make the bells ring, grow wings aiming for the clear sky, invading and pouring in the intimacy of the dive. Yes. Your absence affects me, and your presence transforms me. I also crack up in this alternation: cold, hot, cold, hot, hot, hot... but it’s so hot that it dissolves the cracks and, when I see it, the matter is amalgamated. Lightness, it seems, transcends protagonism. Pervading everything that is my own, that is unique, that is exclusive, that soothes me, that arouses you. You are definitively in control. I don’t want other beds, I want your sheets. If you move forward, I throw myself; if you stay, I dive in.

You are beautiful!

I miss you.

I love you.

I want you.

I am yours.

May God protect us.

Chapter III (in progress)

from

Laura Passing <[email protected]>

to

Brisa Marin <[email protected]>

date

Jan 4, 2010 at 0:05

subject

Chapter III (in progress)

mailed-by    

gmail.com

My Dear,

Your last e-mails are just lovely. Nando Reis has taken me to the sky. And I am still absent... I want to see you, hear you, touch you as soon as possible so I can come back. And be the owner of myself again. I didn’t do anything this past week and, still, how productive it was! Some progress on Chapter III is proof of that. And it may be closing to an end.

Truth is, the tale is becoming more sophisticated and each day it deserves more dedication and experimentation from our part.

I missed you a lot, my dear. I called out your name a few times – you must have heard me. I know that our connection is still alive.

I wait for you.

I am yours, I want you even more! (is that even possible?)

A kiss on your neck, a nibble in your ear.

Sakura

Chat with Brisa Marin

from

Laura Passing <[email protected]>

to

Brisa Marin <[email protected]>

date

Jan 6, 2010 at 08:46

subject

Chat with Brisa Marin

mailed-by    

gmail.com

08:12  me: hi

08:14  Brisa: hey Darks

08:15  I was on my way to the shower

I wanted to tell you...

I was the one who’s sent the opossum

but it didn’t work!

08:17  me: lol

if the opossum were u, it would be even better

08:18  the moon was almost full yesterday and it could have been an event in Sucupira[1]

08:19  Brisa: lol

me: but it was actually to tell you that I miss you...

yesterday was dramatic... lol

Brisa: I miss your presence

08:20  Very dramatic indeed!

me: compared to u, I seem like a pessimist for the first time in my life

Brisa: what do u mean??????????

me: I’m commenting on your comment

I feel your absence and u my presence

08:21  I miss annoying u on Gtalk... *sighs*

08:22  and yesterday there was some Jorge Amado going on in my family’s apartment... oh my!

too crazy, Brisa!

08:24  didn’t you feel like Mr. Quequé?

Brisa: isn’t it?!?!?