nofilter E-Book

Tabea Oppliger

• Herausgeber: Fontis AG
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 184

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Beschreibung

Don’t we all like to scroll through the "highlight reels" of people’s lives we often don’t even know? Filters hide flaws and shortcomings and make us lose connection to the raw, the real and the relatable. In #nofilter Tabea Oppliger shows that pioneering a dream involves blood, sweat and tears and that #nofilter is not just a hashtag, but a lifestyle and a calling. Written straight from her life in Tel Aviv, Israel, a melting pot of different cultures, she tells of her relentless commitment to helping exploited people with her social business "KitePride" and her non-profit organization "GlowbalAct". With each line of this book you will not only be inspired but challenged to become active yourself, to discover your own unique gift and simply to begin with what is in your hands; making hashtags and dreams your reality. "Don’t wait until you’re ready. You’ll be waiting for the rest of your life." - Tabea Oppliger Tabea Oppliger grew up in Papua New Guinea, the daughter of a Swiss couple. Tabea then lived in Switzerland for twenty years for education and professional reasons. There she married Matthias and became the mother of three children. In her tireless pursuit of justice and freedom, Tabea founded "GlowbalAct", a charitable organization dedicated to the abolition of modern-day slavery. Since 2014, she and her family have lived in Tel Aviv, Israel, leading their social start-up business "KitePride".

Leseprobe

Tabea Oppliger #nofilter

Dedicated to Tabea Legler, the first woman who was not afraid of my strength …

Tabea Oppliger

#nofilter

Pioneering the Dream Raw, Real & Relatable

© 2019 by Fontis-Verlag, Basel

© Cover: René Graf Cover Photo: © by Tabea Oppliger Interior Photography: Tim Carr, Bosa Feurer, Saskia Koch, Stefan Mikolon, Oppliger Family, Leon Seierlein Paintings: © by Tabea Oppliger E-Book pre-production: InnoSet AG, Justin Messmer, Basel E-Book production: Textwerkstatt Jäger, Marburg

ISBN (EPUB) 978-3-03848-582-7 ISBN (MOBI) 978-3-03848-583-4

www.fontis-verlag.com

Contents

1. #aninvitation

2. #befoundinyourlane

3. #doyoufeelsafe

4. #massagebytabea

5. #obedienceisgodslovelanguage

6. #israel

7. #trainthemdonttamethem

8. #partnerincrime

9. #morethanjustabag

10. #relationshipversusreligion

11. #artbytabea

Epilogue

#gratitude

About the author

Contact

1

#aninvitation

Why write a book? The world has enough books.

But when you keep telling your story and the response is,

«Have you written a book?»

«You need to write a book!»

«When are you going to write a book?»

The timing is never right, just like the saying goes,

«If you wait till you’re ready, you’ll be waiting for the rest of your life.»

So here goes. My humble story. Of living life out loud.

This is not your ordinary book. And it’s certainly not more information you already have: Rather, it’s an invitation.

I invite you to challenge your mind to not only feed on inspiration but to act upon it.

I’m going to take you with me on a journey and simply share a little bit of what I’ve learned, and am still learning along the way. We’re on eye-level. I’m still in it and will always be in the middle of whatever I’m writing about because what I do is LIFE. As a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, I do life. As a leader of a social justice movement, I live life to the full. All these hats I’m wearing are a lifelong commitment.

I’m in it for the long haul.

This book was written in waiting rooms, on trains, in between running errands, on my only day off, after the kids were in bed, in hotel rooms and on planes.

It is a mix of moments and memories, experiences and lessons, recipes and paintings. In the middle of life. Bear with me if you’re slightly OCD as I may be bringing you still popping corn.

While I speak a number of different languages fluently, I feel I don’t speak one 100 % properly. Because here’s the deal: I wrote this book myself and only had it proofread to correct grammar mistakes and bad punctuation (because I know that could ruin it for you). It’s all about #nofilter, about being raw, real and relatable so I want to make sure you’re reading me.

So even though I’m Swiss and my mother tongue is Swiss German, this book is originally written in English and translated into German. You’ll soon find out why.

Tabea – my name means «gazelle» in Aramaic

14 random facts about me – just because:

I used to be extremely shy as a child.

As far as my ancestors can be tracked down, I have none other than Swiss blood running through my veins. (I know, disappointing, right?!)

Swiss Laederach chocolate is my favorite.

My very first visit to the movies was at sixteen with my school class and we watched «Schindler’s List»!

Kitesurfing huge waves scares the crap out of me.

I have never had and still don’t have a television in my life.

Espresso, double and black.

Grey is the new black; I do not dye my hair.

Please don’t bring me flowers; leave them wild.

I hated my name «Tabea» when I was younger because no one could pronounce it in the English-speaking world I grew up in.

I did not like my broad face for the longest time especially because my cheeks seemed to be an open invitation for strangers to squeeze them.

I never wear make up. Hardly ever.

If you ask my son’s friends to sum me up in two words: crazy driver!

My husband and I are birthday twins.

2

#befoundinyourlane

I’m sure you’ve all watched Olympic track. Every athlete is assigned a lane to compete in and stay in. Not one of them would think of crossing over to another one or they would be disqualified. We all have a designated lane in life to run and persevere in. It’s up to us to be found faithfully in it.

I don’t know about you but I like to know and identify with the main character in a story or movie or play. While this book really isn’t about me, but rather about what God can accomplish through you when you are willing to go and do what no one has done before, allow me to properly introduce myself.

I’m an every day girl, doing every day things, daring to attempt something big enough that failure is guaranteed unless God steps in. (Bruce H. Wilkinson in The Prayer of Jabez)

Yes, I believe, I believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and His miracles, but please don’t let this make you put this book away. This is not an attempt to preach to you or to bible-bash you. You don’t have to share my opinion to get that I couldn’t do what I do without my faith. Just hear me out and let my life and love for people be the message.

Born as the 6th and last child to my Swiss parents, I was raised in Papua New Guinea, an island in the Pacific, just above Australia. My parents pioneered a very influential social and Christian faith-based movement over there for more than 40 years.

I grew up in a third world country for the first 16 years of my life which gives me the legitimate title of a so called Third Culture Kid. So I guess my childhood alone would fill a book, but that’s not my intention here. You’ll find out bits and pieces here that obviously shaped me and made me a lot of who I am today.

As I began to mentally prepare to write this book, I asked some of my closest friends to tell me what the first thing was that popped into their mind when they thought of me. It could be a noun, a verb, an adjective, just anything that they thought was me. These stood out to me the most:

Fierce adventurer

Loving doer

Astounding obedience

Bold faith

Risk taker

Strong yet sensitive

This may sound like I’ve just always happened to be this person. She sounds pretty intimidating. It says that she’s got it all together. Like I can’t even live up to her. And isn’t that so often what we allow ourselves to think when we start looking around instead of focusing in on who we are and what you and I individually have to bring to the table?

I hope this book will help you find that unique gift. I wrote it with you in mind and pray you can relate to my story.

Words have power and we need to remind ourselves of that every single day. The way my friends saw me is what they called out in me and in essence drew out of me. Speaking these qualities out loud means declaring their actual existence in our lives. Living from there and pressing play, not rewind is a choice we have to make daily.

I currently live in Israel. When we moved here five years ago we embarked firstly on a mission to learn Hebrew and in doing so, gain a better understanding of the culture. I remember sitting in those classes completely overwhelmed with an absolutely different language. One I could not relate to on a logical study level, which was frustrating to say the least because I speak numerous other tongues, however I was connecting to it on a spiritual level, grasping an extended understanding of God and the way He thinks.

As you already know, I believe in God and His Word. My life is built on the values of the Bible. Rather than religion, I live out a relationship with Him. When God first created man, He created us in His image to have a relationship with us. He spoke the world into existence. His words created things and called them into life.

Most Hebrew words are derived from a three letter root. So in the Hebrew language, to further understand a word and add insight to it we need to examine the root. Now the word for «speak» in Hebrew is «ledaber» and the word for «thing» is «davar» both words deriving from the same three letter root «Dalet, Bet, Reysh». In other words when you start speaking, you are naming something and calling it to appear in your life.

Another powerful thing I learned sitting in those classes at Tel Aviv University was the fact that Hebrew does not have a verb for «to have». Which basically means we don’t possess anything. Instead of «I have» they say, «There is to me» (yesh li1) or for «I don’t have» they say, «There isn’t to me» (en li2). So to put it into context you would say, «There is to me – as in given to me – time.» Or the opposite, «There isn’t given to me time.» Which to me puts my entire life into perspective! It is either given to me or it is not given to me. It takes me to doing things from a place of rest rather than from a place of striving. I don’t own anything in that sense. What I have is a gift entrusted to me and it is here to serve the world. Not myself.

So, remember I said in my first fun facts that I used to be extremely shy especially when it came to speaking up?

For fear of doing something wrong or asking a question that would make me look stupid I kept quiet most of the time. This simply means I was not rooted in my identity.

Why? I could blame my upbringing; a very strict home where rules and regulations came before relationship. I did not know my mother and father as friends but rather as firm teachers. Don’t get me wrong, they loved us six children very dearly, but they could not always express it in ways that truly reached my heart. (We have a beautiful relationship now and they are my biggest fans!) This left me with a sense of insecurity. It made me feel like I was not good enough unless I performed perfectly.

My Dad was a genius and there was absolutely nothing he couldn’t do or build or fix or manage. Plus, he couldn’t just do it, he did it perfectly. And I mean that. It’s not just a kid bragging on their dad’s super hero abilities.

The fact that I was forced to grow up fast, beyond my years, being separated from my parents to attend boarding school hundreds of miles away from them at the age of 11 may have well nurtured independence, but it also brought about a lot of self-doubt.

But we are not what circumstances made us to be. We are who God made us to be.

When I was four years old our house caught fire in Wewak, Papua New Guinea and literally burnt to the ground. To this day we do not know for sure how it happened or what triggered it. (My father however believes someone deliberately set fire to the room downstairs which functioned as a mini warehouse for all the Bibles and Christian literature and resources.)

Our family was scheduled to leave the country within the next few days. Flights were booked to Switzerland and many suitcases already packed. And then this devastating fire shortly before. I can still see us standing there in the dark, all huddled together on a Saturday evening, watching in dumbfounded awe as our beloved home with all our belongings crumbled.

My older sister was crying about her braces, my brother was frustrated he had picked up an empty suitcase instead of one that was already packed and my other sister was bewailing the loss of her favorite blankie.

We lost everything materialistically speaking. But we didn’t lose what my father and mother had been building up over the years. For they were not building an empire of materialistic goods, they were building something lasting with people for people.

The support of those around us was immense and we were immediately extended a place to sleep as families opened their homes and showered us with love and goods!

Within hours it felt like we had more in toys generously donated to us from everyone (including a boy, who would later become my husband! … wait for that story … in another chapter) than before!

Our passports had pretty much burned up too but we managed to be convincing enough leaving Papua New Guinea a few days later as we headed to Switzerland via Hongkong. Little did we know that the border control in Hongkong would not accept our ashy burned and illegible passports and cause us hours of waiting and feeling like criminals.

My poor parents. Us kids had no idea what they were going through. All we knew is, as long as we were together and with our parents, we were safe. We belonged. Plus, we were having fun and laughing our heads off as we sat in a small cold bare room leaning against glass windows down to the floor and listened to the bustling travellers walk past pulling their trolleys across the uneven terminal floor sounding like hundreds of little farts going off. It still rings in my ear, the «farting» and our giggling.

I can’t remember how long they kept us there, but take note that we’re in the very early 80’s here where communication between embassies and authorities was a slow process of complicated telefaxing back and forth. (For all you millennials, google will tell you what telefaxing means).

The moral of the story? Our passports may have burned, deleting our proven identification on a legal document, but the fire could not burn our identity, our original design that God so lovingly wove into every fibre of our spiritual DNA.

Things can happen to us in our childhood that leave us deeply wounded and scarred or some dreams burn to the ground. But it cannot strip us from who we were made to be in our original design.

God specializes in redemption and He will do everything to get us back on track with who He created us to be so we can be His hands and feet and purposefully execute His plan on earth. He really wants you as a friend, to partner with Him in bringing heaven to earth. And he will often restore us and bring us back around in ways that we don’t even realise He’s working on our behalf. All it takes is our surrender to want to be made whole and to choose it.

The lack of a close relationship with my mother and father left me with a few cracks in my early adulthood. I craved to be seen and recognized for how I performed. I had a hard «you-better-get-over-it» attitude towards other people who appeared needy in my eyes and I desperately tried to fit in so I would belong somewhere.

Moving back to Switzerland from a third world country at the age of 16 was intense. I certainly didn’t belong and couldn’t identify with the Swiss culture, that seemed to say that conformity would get you where you needed to go.

As I mentioned before, God is in the restoration business and He wants you where He knows you’ll be shining at your best.

God had his eye on me as He made sure my paths would cross with an incredible woman I admire and love for her empowering voice in this world. At a conference, speaking to thousands of people, this beautiful lady took the time to respond to my boldly approaching her and spoke words of life into my barren soul without truly knowing me or realizing what an impact her act of love would have.

I remember her words as if it were yesterday, «I don’t know you, but my spirit knows you.» It was such a powerful statement of affirming my identity and changed me forever.

We have had a close mother-daughter relationship since. I am indebted to people like her, who despite their busy schedules and limited time, keep their spirits sharp to respond to the God of the universe who has put them in an influential position such as theirs; where while they get to impact thousands with their speaking, they see and connect to the one.

I’m not the exception when it comes to receiving soul healing so I can go ahead and do all I am created to do. You are the apple of God’s eye too. He lives to see you thrive and live out your purpose and joins you with the right people at the right time!

Marianne Williamson says it so well:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‹Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?› Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

How powerful is that!? As you gloriously live out your gifts and talents, you invite others to do the same. As you are totally yourself, you liberate others. Your presence will create a safe space for others to do the same.

As we all run in our lanes, heaven is cheering us on. So this is me, in my lane, sharing a bit more of my story and I’m delighted you’re running alongside me in your lane.

1 yesh li:

2 en li:

3

#doyoufeelsafe

«Do you feel safe?»

The question I always asked my kids from the very first moment they wobbled around on their own two feet. I firmly believe we can build trust in our children that way and instill a deep confidence in themselves, because at the end of the day, who am I to truly know what they feel they are capable of doing?

Each one of us has been given a unique measure of a spirit of adventure. I’m not addressing mere bravery to dare to do adrenaline pumping things. I’m also not talking about allowing my children to walk straight into dangerous situations and not protecting them from it.

It’s not like I’d stand back and watch my two year old balancing on a log, located at the edge of a cliff, that drops hundreds of feet down. Then ask, «Do you feel safe?»

I have the job, as a mother to further them in their confidence and help them navigate it.

I’ll give you an example. One of my sons, about 5 years old at the time, was climbing up a tree in our backyard already at a pretty dizzy height when I spotted him. It made me nervous to see him clinging to one pretty thin and dry branch. I took a deep breath and called out, «Do you feel safe?»

He grinned, «Yes, Mummy,» and continued the climb.

After he reached a new level I repeated my question. He looked down and answered,

«I feel safe. How far do you think I can go, Mummy?»

«As long as YOU feel safe.»

He ascended to one more branch above him and even though the tree could’ve taken him higher, he began his descent.

I recall another time at the swimming pool where there were different levels of diving boards. My oldest son had already done some flipping off the 5 m one when he asked me, «Mummy, can I do a backflip from the 10 m?»

My answer was … you guessed it:

«Do you feel safe?»

He had done acrobatics when he was younger so he knew how to do backflips, he just hadn’t done it from such a height.

He stood in line to get up and I could tell he was a little shaky. When he reached the top, he waited for a minute but then jumped straight down.

He kept climbing up the tower to simply jump (not flip) from the 10 m but never without first positioning himself to do a back flip. I think he was internalizing it every time.

Later that afternoon, he ran up to me beaming and said, «I did it! Come and watch me!» He had overcome his fear one climb at a time without me coaxing him or talking him into doing something he wasn’t ready to do, at his pace, realizing what he still needed to feel safe enough to do it. He knew no one could take that decision off him.

The final kick to do it had been the lifeguard counting down for him. «3 – 2 – 1, GO!»

This spiel continued throughout my kids’ undertakings in life. Whatever daring new adventure they took on growing up and they would ask me if they could do it or not, I would answer with the question, «Do you feel safe?»