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Open eyes E-Book

Perry E. Williams

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Herausgeber: Books on Demand
Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
Serie: Death row poetry
Sprache: Englisch

Beschreibung

"Open eyes" is my soul laid bare. I cannot remember a time that things didn't deeply affect me. Although, I could never put it into words. So I punched and kicked walls. I've sworn, yelled, bit at the air; and, at my lowest point, tried to end it all. Today, I look at the toll on my body, my scars (inner and outer), and marvel at how I ever ended up in such dark places... and more importantly, how I ever came back from them. I have been incarcerated in prison for the majority of my life under the worst sentence possible: Death! Men with this sentence are relegated to a building that is segregated and isolated from all other prisoners. Thus, the people you meet are also faced with the same uncertainty. Over the years I've lost so many friends, and am so troubled by it. I don't know if I can ever emotionally bond in this place again. I've often asked guys who've been here longer than me how they do it. I've gotten numerous answers. Some discovered God. Some discovered themselves through meditation, art, crafts and creative writing. I've tried various forms of religion before turning to Christianity; giving my life to Christ and giving it meaning. I also discovered poetry and creative writing (the language that gives sound to feeling). The fists of my emotions strike the walls inside of me (trapped and wanting out), finally finding a means of expression. "Open eyes" is me, raw and uncut; free and unchained.

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Seitenzahl: 87

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

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Leseprobe

Dear reader,

I, as the publisher, may or may not agree with the content of this book, or parts of it, but it is and remains the unadulterated words of the author himself, edited as little as possible. I believe in freedom of speech and that the death penalty is wrong without any exception. There is a saying, "You can tell the value of a society by how it treats the weakest of its members." I believe that to be true. That’s why I give these members of society the opportunity to raise their voice. Most of them have undergone a transformation for the better. They have developed a mental strength in prison that we can’t even imagine due to being locked up and forgotten about. Even after all these years they are still there; living, learning and rising beyond themselves. We can learn from them as much as they can learn from us. To silence one of them would be to silence all of us.

Stefan Heikens

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to Christopher Young, Tai Chin Pryor, Derrick Frazier, Tony Egbuna Ford, Tomas Gallo and a few other selected few who believed in me enough to take time out of their lives to show me my self-worth, and that I have a purpose in life. Thank you!!!!

And for those that aren't with us anymore, I am going to do all that I can to make y'all proud, and that your sacrificed time isn't in vain.

PERRY

POEMS

1...2...3...

Acceptance

Christopher Young

Closure

Conscience

Conscious Of Self

Controlling your own life

Creator's Always With You

Cruelty To Humans

A Cry For Help

Dear Mama

Delighted

Dialogue

Execution Date

A Father

First Lady

The Force Of Life

Heart

I Know Not

I Need A Hug

Inside

It's Alright To Miss Me, …

Kind Words For A Friend

Last Resort

The Lethal Truth

Life

Looking Into The Eyes Of …

My Lovely Mother

My Thoughts On: Self-Determination

Never

One Day To The Next

Opened Eyes

Our Ponderings

Outcast

The Path Of Awareness

Phoenix Rising

Phoenix Rising 2.0

Productive Progress

A Promise

A Reflection

The Royal Law

Should’ve Been There

Something To Live For

The Spirit Of Love

Standing True

Struggle

Tangibility

That’s Love

Together As One

Trinity Of Self

Truth Be Known

The Two Faces Of Justice

An Ultimate Reality

Unknown Times

Why Is Everybody Condemning Me?

Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow

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FOREWORD

OPEN EYES is my soul laid bare. I cannot remember a time that things didn't deeply affect me. Although, I could never put it into words. So I punched and kicked walls. I've sworn, yelled, bit at the air; and, at my lowest point, tried to end it all. Today, I look at the toll on my body, my scars (inner and outer), and marvel at how I ever ended up in such dark places... and more importantly, how I ever came back from them. I have been incarcerated in prison for the majority of my life under the worst sentence possible: Death! Men with this sentence are relegated to a building that is segregated and isolated from all other prisoners. Thus, the people you meet are also faced with the same uncertainty. Over the years I've lost so many friends, and am so troubled by it. I don't know if I can ever emotionally bond in this place again. I've often asked guys who've been here longer than me how they do it. I've gotten numerous answers. Some discovered God. Some discovered themselves through meditation, art, crafts and creative writing. I've tried various forms of religion before turning to Christianity; giving my life to Christ and giving it meaning. I also discovered poetry and creative writing (the language that gives sound to feeling). The fists of my emotions strike the walls inside of me (trapped and wanting out), finally finding a means of expression. OPEN EYES is me, raw and uncut; free and unchained.

Perry

1...2...3...

I don't want to live no more.

I wish I would just die in my sleep

So I wouldn't have to deal with this hell.

But I wake up every single morning to fresh torture.

It is time that I take matters into my own hands.

I'll make me a rope and hang myself tonight.

In a few hours I will hurt no longer.

I just need to first write my mama,

My dad,

Shawna,

And all my friends.

And tell them that I just

Couldn't live another day like this.

Pray a final prayer and hope I don't end up in hell.

Get ready to fall,

I guess I'll do it

On the count of three.

Then I won’t be around to experience anymore of this agony

1...

2...

3...

Written late 2003/2004

ACCEPTANCE

No longer will I allow being accepted to tempt me. It's just a distraction with all it's well-crafted dreams, showing me that I still have a long way to go.

I've seen all its different faces.

I've heard it's many voices,

But I'm on the path to a better life.

I now see that I have no other choice.

Its arms are cold and empty.

Its words don’t sound good anymore

‘Cause I've found my true self

Who loves me and has so much more in store for me.

I have done a lot of foolish things.

For it's love and affections I couldn't keep,

But that's all in the past now.

No more years of useless seeking and crying in my sleep.

Acceptance has left me with all the scars-

By displaying to the world all of my failings

and wrong turns that I have taken in life,

But has only succeeded in showing me that

The Creator loves and hasn't forgotten about me.

And when my days are over,

and I close my eyes,

I'll take the Creator's loving hands;

and let Him lead the way.

CHRISTOPHER YOUNG

In the eyes of the public,

Christopher Young is a heathen.

A degenerate. A heartless killer.

Someone who can't be rehabilitated.

Yet, in my eyes, he's the cream

Of the crop, a God amongst men,

And a diamond in the rough to name a few.

He's my brother, one who I've strived

To be like, yet pushes me to be better

Than he is, and to reach my full potential.

And, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be

Here today, after two failed attempts on

My life at my own hands.

Because he helped me see and believe

In what I didn't believe or see in myself.

So, in closing, Christopher Young

Is a giver of knowledge, wisdom

And understanding, and someone who

I wouldn't be the man I am today if

I wasn't blessed with meeting him.

_______________

This poem was also published in the book

MY EXPERIENCE by CHRIS A. YOUNG

CLOSURE

It didn't take long to get to my resting place.

It wasn't until death row found me,

Backed into a dead end street called "Capital Murder Case."

A case that was the result

Of a pointless desired treasure.

But when a man lost his life

The last thing I felt was pleasure.

I can't justify my actions

And now I face dire ramifications.

I wasn't raised to hurt others.

Much less being [with] or someone who kills without hesitation.

I'm, not by any means, an inspiration,

And I don't want to be viewed as such by another.

But, I pray that others learn from my mistakes,

And see that Matthew was a precious son, someone's brother.

I ask the Creator for healing and closure

For all the people I've caused so much pain,

and even if I must die for my actions,

I hope they can see the sun shining after the rain.

There's hope for better days.

I just pray that love conquers hate.

But, know that if you live by the gun,

You'll be judged and possibly murdered by the State.

CONSCIENCE

None of us decided in advance that we wanted to come to jail or prison. We simply did a certain thing or things which we had to do, and which seemed proper to do; nothing more, nor less. If it is foolish to insist on living in harmony with one's conscience, so be it.

If my imprisonment/sentence has no end, I shall receive it all from the Creator as a make of love. If my oppressors take my life, my heart and my mind will never be enslaved. And, as they afflict me on this earth, my soul will reside in the world to come. If, or when they kill me, I shall sing with love as I make my way to the kingdom of my Creator. I am glad to suffer the pain sent since the reason for all comes from our Creator.

So, feel your conscience for it's your life.