Overcoming Obstacles With SPUNK! E-Book

L. Diane Wolfe

• Herausgeber: Dancing Lemur Press LLC
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 217

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2009

Beschreibung

Break through your barriers with SPUNK!

Are you ready to break through the barriers obstructing your goals and move into a position of leadership? Then do so with SPUNK! Learn the steps required to overcome obstacles and become an effective and dynamic leader. The five Keys guide you through:

Developing a positive attitude Learning people skills Raising self-esteem Overcoming fears Setting goals

Joined by authors David Ambrose, p.m. terrell, Darlene Wofford, Jocelyn Andersen, Bob Johnson, C. Denise Sutton, and Bill Wilson, Wolfe’s “Overcoming Obstacles with SPUNK! The Keys to Leadership & Goal-Setting” will energize your passion for life!

Leseprobe

L. Diane Wolfe

“Diane has given wisdom, understanding and honorable counsel in her book, Overcoming Obstacles With SPUNK! Such advice when embraced can not only set one free, but it can also lead to the path of life allowing you to be on your way to reaching your full potential. Let her words stir inspiration in your life.”

- Darien B. Cooper, author of “You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband”

“L. Diane Wolfe has written a terrific leadership book… The book is commended for those who need a devotional style approach to leadership. Who needs this book? Anyone who desires to strengthen their foundational knowledge of leadership.”

- Steven King, MBA, Armchair Interviews – Writer’s Digest’s 101 Best Sites Winner

“From the beginning you realize this book is not about her, it's all about you, the reader, the student. She thoroughly covers each of the five keys: developing a positive attitude, learning people skills, raising self-esteem, overcoming fear, and setting goals. She spaces them out and gives practical guidance on how to achieve and maintain these goals interspersed with colorful analogies.”

- CC Chronicles Book Reviews

Other titles by L. Diane Wolfe

Published by Dancing Lemur Press, L.L.C.

THE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS SERIES

Book I … Lori

Book II … Sarah

Book III … James

Book IV … Mike

Book V … Heather

Overcoming Obstacles with SPUNK!

The Keys to Leadership & Goal-Setting

How to Publish and Promote Your Book Now!

Copyright 2009 by L. Diane Wolfe

Published by Dancing Lemur Press, L.L.C.

P.O. Box 383, Pikeville, North Carolina, 27863-0383

http://www.dancinglemurpress.com/

eBook ISBN 978-0-9827139-2-1

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system in any form – either mechanically, electronically, photocopy, recording, or other – except for short quotations in printed reviews, without the permission of the publisher.

This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Cover design by C.R.W.

LCCN - 2008909597

Dedicated to those who dare to dream, strive to achieve, and refuse to surrender!

Special thanks to all whom contributed to this book. We cannot overcome and succeed alone, and I consider your assistance and support a blessing!

And to the late Larry Etheridge, who was an incredible example of leadership and success for all who knew him!

Table of Contents

Introduction

1 – Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving Goals

Key 1 – Develop a Positive Attitude

2 – Determine the Real Problem

3 – Aspects and Developing a PMA

4 – Proactive Not Reactive

5 – Associations

6 – Integrity and Honesty

7 – Team membership and the Proper Work Ethic

8 – Problems and a PMA

Key 2 – People Skills

9 – Understanding Basic Truths

10 – Understanding Shyness and Making Contact

11 – Listening

12 – Making Good Impressions

13 – Communication and Accessibility

14 – Maintaining Friendships

15 – Generous With Praise

16 – Motivating Others

17 – Refuse to Fight With a Fighter

Key 3 – Raising Self-Esteem

18 – Self-Image Facts and Importance

19 – Stop the Downward Spiral

20 – Take Mental Charge

21 – Discipline a Success Image

22 – Real Criticism is an Art

23 – Moving Past Barriers

Key 4 – Overcoming Fears

24 – The Truth About Fear

25 – Facets of Fear

26 – Breaking the Fear Barrier

27 – Take Action to Cure Fear

28 – Organization and Confidence

29 – Never Take Criticism Personally

30 – Invite Ideas to Keep Moving

Key 5 – Setting Goals

31 – Living With a Purpose

32 – Starting on the Path

33 – Develop Vision With Passion

34 – Take Charge, Take Action

35 – Making it All Work

36 – When the Goal Becomes Fuzzy

37 – The Five Keys Working Together

About the Author

Introduction

Remember when you were a child? The world held so many possibilities! The future lay before you like a wide-open road, ready to be explored. You could go anywhere you wanted, pursue any profession, and achieve any dream. There were no inhibitions or rules. Your dreams and ambitions glowed bright with potential. And like the night before Christmas, you were bursting with eager anticipation!

Somewhere along the way, a negative reality began to take control. The dreams of youth faded, replaced by adult expectations and safe choices. Passion turned into pessimism and worry replaced desire. The joy of living slowly lost foothold to the struggle to survive. Your once bright future slowly vanished, obscured by the dark clouds of doubt.

If the words “stuck in a rut” describe your life, you are not alone! Mediocrity describes the lives of many people today. Settling for a life that is less than fulfilling, they fail to pursue their dreams or realize their full potential. Their lives lack purpose and drive. I know, because I was once one of those people!

Eventually, this feisty redhead decided she’d had enough and began seeking a better life. When I first began studying the components of success, I noticed several reoccurring themes. Despite the variations and numerous formulas, certain elements appeared universal. I eventually realized there were five distinct Keys.

These five Keys- developing a positive attitude, developing people skills, raising self-esteem, overcoming fear, and setting goals- form the foundation of success. They unlock the door to overcoming obstacles and developing leadership. When all five Keys are applied together, they unlock one’s full potential.

“Overcoming Obstacles with SPUNK!” originally began as a goal-setting seminar and eventually spawned a leadership seminar as well. With the help of seven other authors and speakers- David Ambrose, p.m. terrell, Darlene Wofford, Jocelyn Andersen, Bob Johnson, C. Denise Sutton, and Bill Wilson- those seminars transformed into this very book. Each author brought an insightful new twist to the five Keys, and I am forever grateful for their contributions. None of us reaches success alone!

Ready to revisit those dreams and aspirations of youth? No inhibitions, no restrictions, just possibilities. All it takes is five Keys- and little bit of SPUNK!

L. Diane Wolfe

a.k.a. “Spunk On A Stick”

1

Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving Goals

Life is all about overcoming.

Living to the fullest requires determination. We must possess purpose and drive. We need set goals and a positive attitude. Fear must be conquered. Leadership traits and people skills are vital. To live a life filled with enrichment and satisfaction, we need some spunk!

What is the secret? We have seen others experience great personal triumphs and satisfaction. How does one achieve this level of fulfillment? Surely there must be a pill or potion we can consume that will transform our lives into something more! Unfortunately, life doesn’t work in this manner. True success requires effort, and only we can make it happen.

All of God’s creatures were designed to live for a purpose. Achievement is part of our very makeup. Sadly, many of us get so caught up in the struggle just to survive that the result is an existence rather than a life. We lose sight of our purpose. This is not how we were intended to live, though. We need to rekindle the purpose within and ignite our spirits once again.

Will change be required? Of course! We can’t continue on our current path. If we expect life to improve, we cannot remain mired in the same patterns. Those habits created our current situation and must be abandoned if we desire different results. It’s irrational to keep using a blue pen and hope it will one day transform into a red pen!

Change will be required in areas outside of the physical as well. It’s not just those daily patterns, but also the habits of our mind that prevent us from achieving more in life. Our attitude is a powerful influence on our world and the deciding factor in our ultimate success. The ability to deal with other people is an important skill. Fear also begins in the mind. All of these mental traits and behaviors contribute to our overall success and fulfillment as human beings.

Too often, we allow circumstances to dictate our lives. We feel we lack in education or do not possess the right skills to succeed. We point to our upbringing and what we did not possess or experience as a child. Sometimes we even blame others for the conditions under which we now reside. Regardless of the circumstances, though, there is no good excuse for failure. We are the ones in control of our destiny.

Victory is not about waiting for circumstances- it’s creating our own. Wallowing in mud will only make us dirty, and wallowing in problems only makes us helpless. We must assume responsibility and create our own opportunities. Our placement in life can only be attributed to one living person, and the sooner we realize this truth, the sooner we can take control of the situation. Solutions exist for those who seek answers.

Taking control does not guarantee a reduction in problems. Challenges and obstacles occur for all people, no matter what path is taken. However, the ability to handle difficult situations improves with a good attitude and a purpose in life. Like a knight riding into battle, we are armed for success. We notice opportunities and solutions more readily and are not so easily frightened by obstacles.

To break out of mediocrity and live a full, worthwhile life, we need to acquire the five Keys of overcoming. These Keys work in conjunction with one another to unlock the secrets of personal success. We must master all five elements if the formula is to work properly. There is no one Key to true success!

It is said that success is a journey not a destination. We will not master these Keys before we begin our quest but rather learn as we pursue our goals and dreams. It is this growth that truly enriches our lives. And since the ultimate destination is the end of our earthly life, we possess ample time to master each Key!

Thus begins our journey…

Key 1

Develop a Positive Attitude

Life is full of uncertainty. There are few things in life we can truly control. We cannot control our environment or the challenges we may face. We certainly can’t control other people and what they may say or do.

However, there is one thing we can control- our attitude. How we respond to situations and people is the only thing we can truly master. Almost every outcome and end result will be determined by our attitude. A negative attitude will only hold us hostage, but our chances for success and happiness increase with a positive attitude. To transform our world, we must adopt this outlook on life.

Which leads us to the very first Key- develop a positive attitude!

2

Determine the Real Problem

Attitude determines our path in life. It affects every aspect of our personality, our relationships, and our work. How we handle life’s occurrences, those little speed bumps in the road, is even more vital than the situation itself. Our reactions reveal our true character.

Attitude is how we view the world, our mental posture. Do we expect the best or the worst? Do we respond negatively or positively? Our attitude will determine our level of success in life, so cultivating a healthy position is crucial.

The difference between a good attitude and a poor attitude is painfully obvious when analyzed. On one side of the coin reside optimism, expectation, and joy. On the other side dwell pessimism, defeat, and misery. These polar opposites are easily revealed, and within seconds of meeting a person, you’ll know his attitude. If you inquire about tomorrow’s weather, a positive man will say, “It’s supposed to rain, which will help the farmers.” However, the person with a negative attitude will declare, “It’s supposed to be wet and miserable.” Same predictions, different attitudes!

No one’s life is trouble-free. We all experience setbacks and disappointments, and I’m not suggesting there is way in which to prevent such occurrences. However, if our path in life is indeed determined by our attitude, what does this tell us? The problem does not lie with our situations. The real problem is our attitude toward these challenges.

Now, you might refute that statement. You could claim the problem lies with the car that refuses to start or the promotion awarded to another. Answer this question, though. How did you handle the situation? Did you grow frustrated or angry? Did you blame someone else for your misfortune? Or did you seek a solution or make arrangements to avoid that situation in the future?

A positive attitude seeks to move forward while a negative attitude refuses to budge, remaining stuck as if mired in mud. Once stalled, we tend to wallow in self-pity and allow the incident to ruin our whole day. Do not allow this to happen! Pigs wallow, not people. You will only hurt yourself in the process and accomplish nothing.

You cannot control that flat tire or the rude salesman, but you can master your attitude regarding the situation. It’s the only thing you can control! Why surrender your one and only power to outside circumstances and other people? Your attitude is your one true possession.

Happiness is a choice. We choose to feel joyful or to feel miserable. When things go wrong, (or at least not according to plan), we are given the opportunity to decide how the situation will affect us. If we refuse to let circumstances dictate our attitude, then they have no real control over our lives. We become the master of our destiny. This is tremendous news indeed!

Your attitude also has a strong impact on your self-image. If your view of the world is negative, then that scrutiny is compounded when turned inward. You cannot expect the worst from others and still truly believe in yourself. A poor attitude is consistent across the board, even in those who appear to despise others but extol their own abilities. They simply do not reveal the negative feelings toward themselves.

What happens to self-esteem when coupled with a negative attitude? Unfortunately, one of life’s truths is that you are what you think. The mind’s image of oneself becomes the truth. If you maintain an attitude of defeat and doubt in your abilities, this self-portrait will be your reality. You’ll believe you don’t deserve or cannot accomplish greater things. Sadly, you will be quite correct in this assessment! With a negative attitude, you sabotage your chances for success before you even begin.

How many great people, capable of amazing discoveries and accomplishments, lie hidden behind a poor attitude? How many lives could be affected if they only saw the best in themselves? The poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks who cannot imagine his life ever improving is allowing a negative attitude to control his destiny. He believes he’ll remain there forever and that belief will, in turn, be his reality. Such a waste!

Your attitude doesn’t just affect your viewpoint. If you maintain a low opinion of yourself, then so will everyone who comes in contact with you. Those in sports and other forms of competition claim they can smell defeat on an opponent. A negative attitude seems to exude as if it were a cloud hanging over one’s head. It’s also apparent in mannerisms and behavior. Others sense this negative self-image and respond accordingly. They accept at face value the image projected. If you think little of yourself, then so will others!

Not only do we reveal our attitudes to other people, but we influence them as well. Approach wearing a poor attitude and the other person will mirror similar feelings. Proportionately, negative is a stronger force than positive, and thus a much greater influence. So it comes as no surprise that a poor state of mind will likely overwhelm a good attitude. Consider this fact the next time you encounter a negative person. Was his poor attitude simply a reflection of yours?

Attitudes are similar to magnets. Just as metal is drawn to a strong magnet, positive attitudes attract. Those possessing optimism will naturally pull together and find strength and support in numbers. Negative attitudes tend to group together as well, feeding off one another’s pessimism. However, like water and oil, the two groups do not mix well!

When positive people (and those residing someplace in between) encounter a negative attitude, they are instantly repelled. Consider the last time you came across one of these doom and gloom types. You seized the first opportunity to escape that person’s presence, didn’t you? There’s an expression that states a winner cannot stand a loser. Those with optimistic attitudes will not associate for long with pessimistic people. If they do, then they run the risk of becoming just like them!

Now that you understand the power of one’s attitude and its role in daily life, the importance of a positive attitude becomes very apparent. We can blame circumstances, but ultimately, it is our attitude that determines our fate. A positive outlook not only increases our chances for success, but it makes life’s journey much more pleasant!

In a nutshell…

Attitude is how we view the world

The real problem is one’s own attitude

Happiness and misery are both choices

Your attitude affects your self-image

People respond in kind to our attitudes

Positive attracts while negative repels

3

Aspects and Developing a PMA

You have probably heard the phrase “positive mental attitude,” or PMA for short, quite often. Its importance is constantly touted, and yet, few of us ever take a class on the subject. Even those who understand the concept rarely apply it to their lives. Just what is this mysterious PMA and how can we use it to better ourselves?

First, we must understand the difference between a positive and a negative mental attitude. They are as different as day and night; hot and cold; good and evil. Once you grasp the dissimilarity, these two attitudes become very easy to spot in others. So, what are the basic characteristics?

A positive attitude is belief that success can be achieved by employing optimism. It embodies happiness, honesty and peace. It results in constant activity and the pursuit of better circumstances. Like the flower’s nectar attracts the bees, a positive attitude attracts others.

As one can well imagine, a negative attitude expresses the very opposite. It is filled with misery, dishonesty and discord. Instead of activity, it tends to remain fixed, and the lack of movement means wallowing in circumstances.

Since a positive attitude is optimistic and expects the best, it is often dismissed as unrealistic. However, nothing could be further from the truth! Our self-images are determined by our beliefs and expectations, and so is the reality in which we exist. Yes, circumstances arise that are beyond our control. Our positive or negative attitudes influence the occurrence of these situations and determine the outcome more often than we think. We don’t always get what we want, but we usually get what we expect.

Still not convinced? Consider people for whom everything appears to go wrong. They seem to actually attract problems! They expect negative situations and are rarely disappointed when life constantly hands them lemons. Possessing a negative attitude, they convince themselves that nothing will ever go right, either. What they do not realize is the human mind is powerful indeed, and their brain goes to great lengths to validate their beliefs. It helps to form the negative atmosphere in which they live.

“Believing in yourself is the key to success. It starts with saying you can.”

- Lynn Tincher, author of Afterthoughts

http://www.lynntincher.com/

It’s not just negative situations they attract, either. Those of similar mindset usually surround a person with a poor attitude. This compounds the negativity, prompting even more misery and inactivity. Picture a bucket full of crabs, all pulling one another down, and you get the idea. With friends and associates like that, no wonder the negative person never gets ahead!

So how does one cultivate a positive mental attitude? First on the list is to develop some optimism. No one has achieved success without it! Optimism is looking past obstacles and refusing to accept them as facts. It is seeking another path, a better route, and not resigning to circumstances as if they were fate.

At the very core of optimism is hope and faith. Think of all the great inventions and discoveries that can be credited to optimistic belief! The Wright brothers were convinced man could fly. Ford believed he could build a machine that would be better than a horse and buggy. And, even after ten thousand unsuccessful attempts, Edison still believed the light bulb would work! All of these men continued to move forward because they were optimistic of success. They did not give up because they expected victory at some point.

Are you anticipating and experiencing positive triumphs in your life? Or are you experiencing negative setbacks? If, in life, we get what we expect, then obviously you need to raise your expectations. When you arise in the morning, do you foresee a great day or a bad day? Expecting a lousy day automatically places you on the defense, and you subconsciously seek negative experiences. You will project that negative onto every situation and person that crosses your path, and life has a way of responding accordingly.

Perhaps an example would clarify the difference between positive and negative expectations. Suppose you walked into a room carrying a basketful of puppies. What reaction would you predict from those gathered? With the exception of someone who fears dogs, you would expect everyone to crowd around the basket. You are in essence coming at them with a positive attitude and high expectations.

However, what if you walked into that room with a basket filled with cobras? It’s a pretty safe bet you would clear the room! Those threatening cobras are a perfect representation of a negative attitude. You would expect and receive a negative reaction.

Instead of anticipating and seeking the negative, try raising your expectations. Leave the bad attitude, and the cobras, at home! Approach the day anticipating great things. Expect to perform better at your job or during recreational activities. Believe you will encounter pleasant people. Be on the watch for opportunities. You may not succeed on every level or in all situations. However, you stand a better chance armed with a positive attitude than a basket of poisonous snakes.

What else is required for a positive mental attitude? You must possess enthusiasm and excitement. I call it spunk! There is no spirit more powerful or energetic. It is difficult to remain negative when you are full of eager exuberance. Spirited enthusiasm will supply you with energy and endurance. It requires effort, but once impassioned, your excitement will continue to feed itself.

But what happens if this does not come natural for you? What do you do when you don’t feel enthusiastic? There is an expression that claims you should ‘fake it until you make it’. Enthusiasm doesn’t just happen on its own- you must make it happen! Turn the passion and excitement up a couple notches and energize your thoughts. Act as if you possess enthusiasm, and pretty soon, you’ll feel it as well. You will soon discover that the energy required for negativity and pessimism is actually greater. Once optimistic enthusiasm takes over, the sensation is empowering!

There is another critical part of the equation. You must eliminate negative thoughts from your mind. Our brains are constant chatterboxes, barraging us with a never-ending stream of images, words and feelings. Unfortunately for most of us, this babble tends to be negative in nature. To make matters worse, a good portion of this we direct at ourselves. It is difficult to maintain a great attitude while being beaten up from within!

Stop acting as if you are your own worst enemy! Learn to curtail this constant flow of negative assessment. Eliminate words such as “can’t,” “failure,” and “stupid” from your vocabulary, spoken and unspoken. Control the tone of your inner voice and be aware of doubt and discouragement entering your thoughts. If you discover negativity creeping in now and then, simply redirect your thoughts. You are what you think, so think good things about yourself.

“The first step to developing a positive attitude is to resist illicit thoughts! Thoughts that are harmful to us and others. Thoughts that leave us frustrated and discouraged. Thoughts that make us feel fearful and intimidated. Thoughts that put us on a guilt trip. Thoughts that leave us feeling inferior. All of these are examples of thinking that must be cast down and cast out.”

- Bill Wilson, author & late Pastor of The Lord’s Table Church

By employing optimism and enthusiasm, raising expectations, and eliminating negative thoughts, we will discover a positive attitude that is ready to flourish and grow. It is doubtful this transformation will take place overnight, so be prepared. Time is required to form any habit and a positive attitude is no exception to this rule. As changes begin to occur, we come to recognize moments of negativity and can steer away from such thoughts and behaviors. The effort is well worth the rewards, too!

A positive mental attitude views the world with fresh eyes. It appreciates every moment and attacks life with boundless energy and spirit. Charge your attitude with optimism and prepare for great things to occur!

In a nutshell…

A positive attitude implies optimism, joy and activity

A negative attitude implies pessimism, misery and inactivity

We get what we expect

Develop optimism and belief

Act with enthusiasm

Eliminate negative thoughts

4

Proactive Not Reactive

Every motivational speaker and self-help book touts the virtues of being proactive. What exactly does it mean to be proactive? What is the mystique surrounding this word?