Recovering The Self E-Book

• Herausgeber: Loving Healing Press
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Serie: Recovering The Self Journal
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012

Seitenzahl: 299

Beschreibung

Recovering The Self: A Journal of Hope and Healing (Vol. IV, No. 2) April 2012
Recovering The Self is a quarterly journal which explores the themes of recovery and healing through the lenses of poetry, memoir, opinion, essays, fiction, humor, art, media reviews and psychoeducation. Contributors to RTS Journal come from around the globe to deliver unique perspectives you won't find anywhere else!
The theme of Volume IV, Number 2 is "New Beginnings". Inside, we explore physical, spiritual, and mental aspects of this and several other areas of concern including: Traumatic loss Health crisis and recovery Challenges of creative work Substance abuse recovery Postpartum anxiety Forgiveness Life after divorce Psychiatric hospitalization and recovery ... and much more!
This issue's contributors include: Eleanor Leonne Bennett, Barbara Sinor, Trisha Faye, Ken La Salle, Martha M. Carey, Bonnie Spence, Jenny Ekern, Rosana Brasil, Debra Kelly, Dinah Dietrich, Nancy-Gail Burns, Sam Vaknin, , Marissa Nielsen, Kat Fasano-Nicotera, Sweta Srivastava Vikram, Sarah Jane Conteh, Candide Massocki Kristin L. Werner, Holli Kenley, Patricia Wellingham-Jones, Michelle Mercurio, Steve Sonntag, Talya Jankovits, Telaina Eriksen, Liz Ferro, James John Magner, Marianne T. Campagna, Lee A. Eide, and C. Saldana.
"I highly recommend a subscription to this journal, Recovering The Self, for professionals who are in the counseling profession or who deal with crisis situations. Readers involved with the healing process will also really enjoy this journal and feel inspired to continue on. The topics covered in the first journal alone, will motivate you to continue reading books on the subject matter presented. Guaranteed." --Paige Lovitt for Reader Views
Periodicals : Literary - Journal Self-Help : Personal Growth - Happiness

Leseprobe

April 2012 | Vol. IV, No. 2

Recovering the Self

Recovering The Self: A Journal of Hope and Healing

Edited by Ernest Dempsey

Volume IV, Number 2 -- April 2012

ISSN: 1947-2773

ISBN-13: 978-1-61599-161-7

Copyright © 2012 Loving Healing Press, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Cover photo by Eleanor L. Bennett. Used with permission.

Join us online at www.RecoveringSelf.com

Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting. Inclusion in Recovering The Self is neither an endorsement nor a confirmation of claims presented within. Sole responsibility lies with individual contributors, not the editor, staff, or management of Recovering The Self Journal.

Published by Loving Healing Press

5145 Pontiac Trail

Ann Arbor, MI 48105

USA

Tollfree 888-761-6268 (USA/CAN)

London 44-20-331-81304

Fax [phone]

www.LovingHealing.com

Distributed by Ingram Book Group in USA and Canada, Bertram’s Books in the UK, Hachette Livre (France and EU), Agapea (Spain), and Angus & Robertson in Australia.

To order your subscription: please visit www.RecoveringSelf.com/subscribe

To book an advertisement: please visit www.RecoveringSelf.com/advertise

To write for RTS: please visit http://www.recoveringself.com/about/write-for-us

Editor-in-Chief: Ernest Dempsey

Publisher: Victor R. Volkman

Typesetting/Design: Vince Sobotka

Advertising Sales Director: Vince Sobotka [email protected]

Table of Contents

Editorial

… from the Editor’s Desk by Ernest Dempsey

About the Artist

Interview with Eleanor Leonne Bennett

Inspiration

New Beginnings by Barbara Sinor

Second Chances: An Unexpected New Beginning by Trisha Faye

Emergence

Taking the Opportunity by Ken La Salle

An Orchid and a Lily by Martha M. Carey

Hoping for Dreams by Bonnie Spence

Emerging from Postpartum Anxiety by Jenny Ekern

Interpersonal

Forgiveness Is Not A One-Time Act by Rosana Brasil

RTS Feature

As I Choose to See It by Debra Kelly

Memoir

The Woman Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming by Dinah Dietrich

The Blue Dots by Nancy-Gail Burns

How I “Became” a Narcissist by Sam Vaknin, PhD

Reclaiming Myself: A College Student’s Three-Week Stay in a Psychiatric Ward by Marissa Nielsen

Family

Starting Over by Kat Fasano-Nicotera

Travel

It’s Cool to be a Hindu by Sweta Srivastava Vikram

Transformation

Take Pride, Not Sorrow by Sarah Jane Conteh

Conversation with a Prisoner by Candide Massocki

Healing

Opening the Heart: Finding My Way through Domestic Abuse by Kristin L. Werner

Nature and Nurture

Living Trees by Holli Kenley

Poetry

On the Fringes by Patricia Wellingham-Jones

Ada by Michelle Mercurio

Pebbles by Michelle Mercurio

Vacation by Steve Sonntag

Humor

Baby Bummer by Talya Jankovits

Language and Culture

Love Me Forever, But Not Like That by Telaina Eriksen

Fit Being

Girls With Sole by Liz Ferro

RTS Talk

Out of the Darkness – Steve Taylor on “Awakening” and Spiritual Transformation by Ernest Dempsey

Excerpts

The Currents of Timelessness by James John Magner

At the Threshold: Pause Before China by Marianne T. Campagna

The Insanity of the Ego by Lee A. Eide

Books

Made by Hand: Searching for Meaning in a Throw Away World

Peace Like A River

Left Neglect

Remembering Smell

Movies

The Girl in the Park

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep

The Blue Butterfly

As It Is in Heaven

A Passing Thought

Sweet Reality by Michelle Carmela Saldana

Call for Submissions by Victor R. Volkman

… from the Editor’s Desk Ernest Dempsey

Spring Greetings Everybody!

Our April 2012 Issue is here, hoping to finds all of you living life in the best spirit of hope and healing.

The theme “New Beginnings”, as expected, received many great submissions that told personal stories of life experiences and stages after which came a new start to life, a new angle to look at its value, and new understanding and appreciation of its meaning. The subject is, without question, a personal one and so are most of the stories in this issue. What changed the “personal” and how a new beginning knocked on the door of life varies from person to person—from author to author. I, as a reader, was inspired by each writing published herein; “people power” literally coming to life in these words. These are wonderful words, shared by wonderful people. With such resilience, one simply can’t go without Recovering the Self.

This issue is also special in other ways. Our regular contributor to RTS blog Ken La Salle shares his fulfilling writing journey, a dream coming true. Holli Kenley’s soul-touching story Living Trees (which will be part of her next book) brought the journal a new category “Nature and Nurture”—thank you Holli! Debra Kelly’s As I Choose to See It says it all in the very title. A number of inspiring new voices are also heard this time: Talya Jankovits, Liz Ferro, Sarah Jane Conteh, and others. Special thanks to British psychologist Steve Taylor for sharing his thoughts (in “RTS Talk”) over spiritual transformation—the topic he explores so fully in his must-read book Out of the Darkness. And our regular contributors are all sparkling as always. How can I resist saying it gets more and more special each passing quarter!

On a related note, we asked for your opinion on whether to put RTS entirely in electronic format or continue with the print format, we received some responses—all expressing choosing print over electronic version. Friends of one of our contributors wrote that RTS is touching lives and are inspired with the print editions while they may not have access to electronic versions. They are also using any available copy for reading in groups to inspire and heal—something that may not be possible with an e-zine. Another of our valued writers shares that she can’t read long pieces online and having a print copy is the best thing to her. And it’s surely true for many others as well.

So, while switching to e-format may cut costs and save time spent in preparing the print layout, we will be continuing with the print version for the time being. Nothing precedes touching lives positively. Let’s celebrate spring with “New Beginnings”!

In healing spirit,

Ernest Dempsey

[email protected]

March 26, 2012

About the Artist

An Interview with Eleanor Leonne Bennett

The brilliant young photographer Eleanor Leonne Bennett has achieved a impressive lot of recognition at the age of 15. Based in Manchester, United Kingdom, Eleanor is also a fan of Oscar Wilde and martial arts. More below in her own words:

RTS: Eleanor, you indeed are a gifted photographer at a young age. Is this passion for photography your twin sister?

Eleanor: I’ve always been drawn to art and design. From before I can remember I’ve always had some project, albeit most of them were a mess. I’d do things like rip apart TV remotes and old radios with a rock from the garden to construct a model town from modeling clay, circuit boards, and wires. I’ve wanted to have a job as an artist since about age 7. I really used to want to work for Aardman animations; I still love animation a lot. I’m fascinated by how anything strange can become true—in my photographs, I like to distort reality. There are so many great things to capture. It would be easy to go six months without getting a great photo because for me, I’m somewhat fussy. My favorite shot recently is one of a woman with her foot through the bottom of a rotted-out car. My favorite photo of 2011 is one of an earwig with half its body trapped inside a padlock.

RTS: What is it in a scene that makes your hand grope for the camera?

Eleanor: A good strong texture or unusual setting. I’m almost always drawn to take an image even if the setting is dull as long as the subject touches my heart. If a friend is ill, I normally take a few shots on impulse to just record the memory.

RTS: You shoot in both color and black & white. What is the specific appeal of the black and white, specifically for print or electronic media?

Eleanor: I want to shoot the majority of my work in black and white so that I can reach everyone. Often the magazines that publish my work only accept black and white to reduce printing costs. I try these days to do a front cover in color and then my interior work in black and white. I like having creative control and becoming the featured artist.

RTS: Do you also do photo editing?

Eleanor: I know my style and what I’m aiming for. I like a strong contrast and a texture that intrigues. Many of my pictures will be forever hidden as I know what I want people to see of my personality and abilities.

RTS: What are some of your favorite sites or occasions which you like never to miss?

Eleanor: I love nature photography so much, but I don’t just want to be another macro photographer. I know I can’t spend all my savings because I just can’t afford the top equipment to compete with the best. Still having that passion though, I will do wildlife photography in unusual settings. I get the most rewards from thinking outside of the box; this is why I have branched out into contemporary art. I have more freedom to roam.

RTS: And what are some of your other interests besides photography?

Eleanor: I love good music of all genres and great comedy. I like to read Oscar Wilde; in fact I enjoy reading a lot. I used to read every single Jacqueline Wilson and Roald Dahl book that was available at my library. I miss reading as concentrating on photography has divided my attentions. I like to kickbox and practice karate. I also like to find ways I can include my art in a good event; say, for environmental causes etc. If the cause is good enough, that is the sort of thing I’ll nearly always do for free. I am a member of the Woodland Trust and the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds.

RTS: Are you available for working online for clients?

Eleanor: I am very interested in doing cover art for all published mediums (books, albums, magazines, and public art) and for the moment, my prices are very modest. I am very attracted to work with upcoming musicians. Pop, rock , hip hop and folk—anything in good taste really. I like Gorillaz a lot; so if you work is inspired by them, we are probably thinking on the same page. My direct email is [email protected]. I’m also interested in upcoming art magazines; I welcome being featured and I am really very grateful to the people who have granted me some great opportunities over the past two years.

To see samples of Eleanor Leonne Bennett’s work, visit her website http://eleanorleonnebennett.zenfolio.com/.

New Beginnings

Barbara Sinor

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. ~ Charles Dickens

Who has experienced a traumatic event in their life? Who has experienced the loss of a loved one? Who is experiencing the beginning of a new relationship? Or, a new job? We all know that new beginnings can happen in an instant. By giving ourselves permission to begin a new day, a new path, a new way of thinking we can choose to begin again. We experience new beginnings many times in our lives. Take a moment to look at your own life, your past experiences. Think about the new ways in which you have needed to begin again many times throughout your life.

New beginnings can happen when you:

Begin a new job or career

A new diet or exercise program

A new relationship

A new kind of worship or meditation practice

A new school or educational training

Welcome a new pet into your family

Welcome a new baby

Experience the death of a loved one

Are challenged with a new health issue, or

Have recently been married, separated, or divorced

Each time we journey on a new path to experience a new beginning, it is important to consciously allow ourselves to review, process our emotions--especially forgiveness--and learn to accept our new path. Before we move toward a new beginning, it is also important to learn the Lessons from our past experience. One way to do this is to ask ourselves questions such as:

What do I know now that I did not know before this experience?

Why was it important for me to learn this truth or lesson?

Do I need to forgive others or myself before I move forward?

How have my emotions changed since this event?

After an emotional experience such as any one of those I mentioned above, there will be a time for you to bring your life forward, and to be visible on your present stage of life. Choose options that uplift and inspire you, and whenever possible, engage in positive thinking. It may also be time for a health makeover, a change in environment, or a renewal to your outlook on life. Remember, new beginnings require us to plant new seeds for our future; so make sure those seeds contain all the ingredients to reflect what you desire for your present and future life.

Lessons in Moving Forward

Numerologist Christine DeLorey states: “Stop holding your past at arm’s length as if you are afraid that it will catch up with you. It’s meant to! Let it! The past is filled with knowledge and experience, and what it has to teach you needs to be accepted into the present. Only then will you be able to feel, sense, and create what you want.” When renewal and new beginnings are at hand, we need to clarify what has worked for us and what has not, so we can choose only what takes us forward on our journey. As we allow winter to unfold and spring to shine upon us, we can identify the dead wood which can be removed from our life.

We all have the ability to make minor, or even major breakthroughs, any time we choose, now may be the right time for you. Use your freedom of choice to draw your new life to you. Here is a great affirmation you can use to claim this freedom of choice: “Today, I make the choice to end a cycle or way of being that is not in alignment with my soul’s desire.”

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and we wish to change. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make changes, and we may have even given up on a certain area in our life. However, each new day offers us the opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. Sometimes, we may say to ourselves that we have tried, we have struggled, and we still have not found a way to begin again after experiencing a shift in our life. If this is true for you, allow yourself to be open to support and guidance from the physically present loved ones around you, and also the non-physical masters, teachers, guides, and angels that are always with you. State your intention out loud in prayer or meditation; keep it positive and simple, such as: “I am creating the changes I need at this time.” Making this declaration to the Divine Universe, and to yourself, may be the remedy for any stagnation you may be experiencing.

Many times, it is difficult to understand, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made in the past have created our current situations. It is a good idea to examine the “story” we tell ourselves about how we arrived in our present situation. If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed at a task or situation, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed. We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that we have done our best.

With insight, information, and support, we can acknowledge that we have made our best decisions for our life in the past. We can remember the many positive moments on our path to this present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences; this will help us determine what our current choices might be, and how to go about making them. When we do this kind of inner work of viewing our past, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner-shift may allow us to exit the cycle we have been on, which keeps us stuck in past behaviors or emotions.

Today, you can declare to be the day you will end negative habits, cycles, or patterns. You can declare this day that you will move forward from past emotional pain, anger, and guilt. Today, you can enter into a new way of being. Today, you can declare this day to begin searching for the Lessons of past experiences—learn from them, and move into the present!

A Personal Note

Many of you know that my son passed away a few years ago and my husband also made his transition last year. I have used these tools which I share with you to uncover my own new beginning. It has taken me about a year to realize how important they really have been. Right after my son’s passing, I unconsciously kept myself very busy. I was not ready for a new beginning without him. Not only did I need to take care of all his arrangements, paperwork, finances, and consoling our family, I chose to continue the absorbing work of writing a book I had started several months earlier. In hindsight, I realize how keeping myself occupied with writing, and getting the book published, kept me from the important steps of reviewing, accepting, and working with forgiveness that I needed to in order to move forward with my life. When one year had passed and the book was released, I took the time to do this inner work.

When I was ready, I asked myself the important questions about my emotional loss. I asked myself what lessons I had learned from both my son, and from his leaving this physical earth before me. I learned there is no right way to love an alcoholic—only that you must. I learned compassion is sometimes elusive, but always within reach and is a potent healing agent. I recognized the changes I needed to undergo within myself, my relationship with my husband, and my career.

Realizing how important this inner work had been for me after my son died, I knew I must follow through with this same emotional clearing after my husband passed away. I am still doing this process. I know I am beginning a new phase of my life. I am learning how to breathe deep again. I am doing the inner work of asking myself questions to help unfold my deepest feelings. I am searching my past, receiving answers, and starting a new life journey.

Something to Do Each Day

Remember the famous quote by the philosopher Kierkegaard? It went something like this: “Life can only be understood backwards; however, it must be lived forward.” My interpretation of this quote is: “We can learn a great deal from our past experiences, but we must live our lives today to co-create our tomorrows.”

To help you move forward onto your soul’s New Beginning Journey, here is a meditation/visualization you can enlist each morning before getting out of bed. To experience this meditation now, read below; then put your feet flat on the floor and close your eyes as if you are just waking up:

Take a few deep breaths and relax your body and mind. Imagine you are just waking up from a long night’s sleep. Just before you open your eyes in the morning, feel the excitement of greeting a new day. Allow a sense of joy to enter every cell of your body. Allow the Divine White Light to enter the top of your head and slowly travel down into your chest, arms, torso, hips, legs, and out your feet. Now, as you are lying there, place your hand on your heart…your heart speaks for your soul with every beat. Listen as this whispering beat repeats: be...gin, be...gin, be...gin, be…gin.

Then open your eyes and accept these gifts of Love, Light, and Life… and Begin a New Day!

About the Author

Barbara Sinor, Ph.D. is a retired psychotherapist with a career in counseling spanning over twenty-five years. Dr. Sinor has authored five inspirational recovery books. She lives in northern California and is currently working on her sixth book, a metaphysical memoir. Dr. Sinor welcomes comments and can be contacted through her web site at www.DrSinor.com.

Second Chances: An Unexpected New Beginning

Trisha Faye

Sudden cardiac arrest changes your life; if you live through it. Fortunately, I did. I got a second chance at life on October 21, 2010, my new “birthday”.

I’m no stranger to new beginnings. I’ve started over several times. However, those new beginnings were my choices. They were changes to a life that had grown intolerable. They happened at a time when I was (somewhat) ready for them.

Sometimes new beginnings are not our choice. They can be unexpected and knock you down when you least expect it. Over the past twenty years, I grew and discovered what I wanted—and didn’t want—in my life. My first new beginning was leaving an unhappy marriage of many years. Ten years later, I quit a fairly well-paying job and moved out of the state I’d lived most of my life in. A year later, I packed up again and moved to another state and a new lifestyle. None of these were easy. All three major upheavals involved pain, tears, and consequences. My growth and the positive benefits gained far outweighed what I lost.

One life-altering October day, my perspective changed forever—completely uninvited; but oh, so welcomed. Sitting on an airplane, approximately 25,000 feet above ground, thirty minutes before landing, my heart stopped beating. What’s this? This was not on my agenda. I was going to live to 85 years old. It was not in ‘my plan’ to suffer sudden cardiac arrest at 52 years of age!

B.C. (Before cardiac arrest), I didn’t believe in accidents. I didn’t believe in coincidences. I still don’t, even more adamantly now. I should have been home sleeping at that hour. It should have been about twenty minutes before the alarm rang. I would have slept right through the event and never known it happened. Instead, I was sitting on an airplane next to my partner who started immediate CPR. There were three doctors on board, available for instant medical attention, along with immediately accessible oxygen and a defibrillator. Now, what are the odds of that?

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences; all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” Because of my beliefs about synchronicity, I knew that this wasn’t a coincidence. But it still took a while to learn from this incident.

Several weeks passed before I acknowledged the realty of what happened. When it finally did, I would think in shock, “Oh my goodness, I died!” My life had ended, if only for moments, despite what my “plans” were. Why? That’s a question that’s plagued me since then. Why was everything in place so I could live? Why didn’t I die that day? Why am I still here? Truthfully, the question remains unanswered over a year later. I’m still looking for that answer.

I knew that my life had to change. As good as my life was before this happened, if nothing changed at all, it would be a waste. It would be a travesty to get this second chance and not use it as an opportunity for a deeper meaning or purpose to my life. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “It is not length of life, but depth of life.” This new beginning, even if unexpected and unasked for, had to matter.

This near-death experience taught me a few lessons. I learned not to take life for granted. I gained a new appreciation for life and the life I have. I’m sure there are more lessons to discover on the path ahead. One of many lessons that made a difference in my life since is that I now embrace the opportunity to celebrate life in all ways.

Celebrate Life

I used to think that I always had tomorrow. I knew that life is fragile and sometimes ends too soon. I wasn’t a stranger to death touching my life. I have friends whose children died unexpectedly. When I was a new mother in 1984, my friend Sherry’s son, Scott, died. Many years later, in 2002, my friend Becky’s 24 year old daughter died. My brother died at the much-too-young age of 35. Cancer took the lives of my stepson Mark, my step dad, Chuck, and my cousin’s young wife, Kim. Death has wrapped its tenuous cold arms around my life and those of my family and friends, bringing its sorrow, pain, and grief with it. Yet, I somehow believed I was invincible. I knew death would also come to me. I didn’t expect it for many, many years. I was wrong.

Before, I enjoyed life and celebrated many occasions. Now, I realize that I didn’t enjoy and relish the small things in life. Now, I celebrate life every day, not just on vacations, holidays and special occasions. The “big” reasons to celebrate are great; babies born, graduations, weddings, birthdays, promotions, new jobs, and anniversaries. What about the “small” things in life? Do you celebrate the dependable car that keeps starting and gets you to work every day? Or, the color pink (or purple, or yellow) that is such a brilliant, cheerful color? Or, the hummingbird that flutters from flower to flower in an iridescent flash?

The first several months after my cardiac arrest, I was acutely aware—every day—that I was alive and breathing, and was grateful for every new breath. Then, as so easily happens in life, I started to get caught up in the “humdrum” activities of life and before I knew it, I was back in my daily routines, with barely a conscious thought about what gave my life meaning. Old habits can be hard to break. It took concentrated and deliberate effort to break out of the habitual cycle and emotions that become engrained.

E. E. Cummings wrote, “Unbeing dead isn’t being alive.” He is so right. Living, breathing, and simply going through the motions of life is miserable. Being truly alive, feeling the joys and zest of living, of full, happy life, even with its occasional sorrows and sadness, is richer and more meaningful.

New Years Day this year dawned bright and sunny in North Texas. I basked in the warmth of the day, reveling in the gorgeous start to a brand new year. I headed out to the backyard to deliver a bountiful pile of birdseed to the feathered residents of Sheri Lane; sparrows, cardinals, mockingbirds, and doves. The birds fluttered to higher perches as I unlatched the back gate and a Blue Jay screeched from the yard behind us.

A flash of color caught my attention. Peering closer in the unmowed grass, unusually green for this time of year, I spied a dandelion, proudly flaunting its brilliant yellow coat, as if taunting winter. Hurrying inside for my camera, I spotted several more, scattered around the yard and tucked into tufts of rangy grass. I captured a few shots and stood admiring these tiny pieces of bright joy. That was my celebration for the day, enjoying the unexpected dandelion delights on a winter’s day.

Let Go of Unauthentic Activities

One morning, while visiting California, I logged onto Facebook before heading out for the day. One of my friends posted this status: “Let go of anything unauthentic and all activities that do not mirror your brightest intentions for yourself.” These words resonated with me. I jotted them down so I’d remember them. Arriving home, I copied the statement and taped it to my keyboard where I see it everyday. I can’t count how many times I’ve used these words as a yardstick to measure my activities and to evaluate my life. At the time, I avidly maintained five different Facebook farms, spending several hours a day planting, harvesting, and plowing, buying farm critters and barns, moving fences and planting orchards.

One morning, as I sat plowing my “acreage”, I paused and gazed through the back window, observing my “real” garden out back, laying fallow and looking forlorn and unloved. What in the world was I doing? I was spending hours a day farming my virtual farms, while the whole back yard was at my disposal for a real garden and it was untouched.

The virtual farms now lie untouched and fallow. Of course, the Texas heat ramped up in a week, withering the pea plants within days. I only harvested two pea pods. (But that’s a whole other story.) I sure enjoyed every hour spent in the spring garden, hearing the birds sing and feeling the sunshine soaking into every pore, regardless of how much harvest we did, or didn’t, get.

This ‘unauthentic’ yardstick is pulled out almost every day. Dinner with friends we enjoy spending time with? Absolutely! Time spent on a craft project I enjoy doing? Absolutely! Attend a baby shower for someone at work that I barely know, only enough to say ‘hello’ as we pass? Not today. I’ll send a card and a small gift since she is a sweet girl. But I’ll pass on spending four to five precious hours of my one guaranteed Sunday off, thank you.

I’ll admit, although I’ve given up my virtual farms, I still play a few computer games. But now, I make a conscious decision about how I’m spending my time. I play the games I enjoy, for short periods of time only, consciously choosing this as a relaxation period. Then I move on and use my time productively, either accomplishing a task that moves me closer to one of my goals, completing a chore that needs attended to, or immersing myself in a craft project for the joy of creating.

Other Lessons

Is this all I’ve learned from my near-death experience? Oh my, no! I’ve learned so many lessons since then. Some is new knowledge, some are things I knew before but now they’ve become ‘ah-ha’ moments in my life.

•  Accept yourself. Acknowledge the totality of your being.

•  Trust yourself.

•  To live a truly authentic life, we must be honest with ourselves.

•  Live in the present; the past is already gone and the future isn’t here yet.

•  Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.

•  Don’t over-commit. Be kind to yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Allow slow days, your body will let you know.

•  Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy; they just promised it would be worth it. (Anonymous from a circulating email)

•  Will this matter a year from now? Will this matter in 100 years? (From Don’t sweat the small stuff)

I’m sure as life progresses, I’ll discover more. Life is for celebrating, but life is also for learning. New beginnings are always a chance for growth and self-discovery, whether they’re initiated by ourselves or forced upon us. It’s what we do with these opportunities that are important.

What can you do today to celebrate life? How can you make the most of the choices available to you?

About the Author

Trisha Faye is celebrating life—and all of its new beginnings—as she follows her dreams in Texas. Her Facebook page (A Reason to Celebrate, Remember, Have Fun) shares a different reason to celebrate life every day. For more information, or to see what fun, quirky holidays are here, visit her blog www.trishafaye.wordpress.com.

Taking the Opportunity

Ken La Salle

With the end of every year, many of us find ourselves doing the same thing. We assess. We resolve. And the next year, we repeat.

I almost fell into the same, repetitive cycle recently until I looked back over the previous year and saw… a no-man’s land of wreckage strewn behind me, littered with the twisted smoking wreckage of opportunities I left behind. I thought, “This can’t be good.”

If at the beginning of 2011 you had asked me where my year was going to take me, I would have beamed with optimism and told you about how my first novel was going to be published and how a life of pursuing the dream of being a writer was finally turning out in my favor. It was about time, too. For the better part of three decades, I’d been “paying my dues”, writing novel after novel and play after play only to find myself being turned down again and again by agents, publishers, literary manager, and just about anyone with a comically large “NO” stamp.

“2011,” I would have told you, “is going to be my year!”

Finally! Hurray for me!

If there was any chance of things working to the contrary, the beginning of the year did not let on. My comic farce Murielle’s Big Date was scheduled for a staged reading at San Francisco’s Dark Room Theatre and Vicky and I used the opportunity to get away from our little home in Southern California.

We booked a room at a beautiful hotel, ate at a few terrific restaurants—it was all really nice. To top it off, when I met the show’s director, Shawn, he spoke with me in extremely complimentary tones. This was the first time I’d taken a show out of Southern California and I was pretty accustomed to the way people talk to me down here – you know, that “This is pretty twisted and you must be stoned; I don’t know what the hell you think you’re going to do with this” kind of way. Shawn spoke with me as if I was a real artist and, to top it off, the audience loved the show! The experience helped me begin to change the way I saw myself as an artist.

Mind you, the timing of this change wasn’t optimal. As optimistically as my year was starting out, I was unemployed and had been for a while. But Vicky and I began to have conversations about where this life was taking me and where I wanted it to go. For many years, I had worked in the corporate world while trying to arrange the life I wanted to live on the side. After focusing on my writing for two years, I didn’t want to stop. Things were beginning to happen. Vicky agreed that I had momentum on my side and we worked towards finding a job that would allow me to keep working on my writing career.

And things were rolling along in my life as a writer. In March, we had a terrific reading of another play, Sometimes We Find Our Way, at the Alive Theatre in Long Beach. The actresses were incredibly generous with their time and talent and they, along with a terrific audience, filled the house with enthusiasm.