Roots E-Book

Torill Thorup

• Herausgeber: Lind & Co
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Serie: Inga Svartdal
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 249

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Inga Svartdal has just been married off to the much older Niels. She quickly realises that Gudrun, Niels' adult daughter from his first marriage, does not intend to relinquish control of the family farm. Inga is forced to bow to the will of her wicked stepdaughter. It doesn't take long until Niels starts asserting what he believes to be his rights in bed, which causes Inga distress on the nights he spends at home. But where is he on all the other nights? Everything changes when Martin, a neighbour, appears on the farm. Feelings between Inga and Martin quickly blossom, and even though she's a married woman, Inga cannot stop herself from falling in love.

Leseprobe

Torill Thorup

Roots

Translation Nuanxed/Lisa Henriksen

www.lindco.se

[email protected]

Original title: Røtter

Copyright © Torill Thorup, 2018

Translation copyright © Nuanxed/Lisa Henriksen, 2023

Publisher ©: Bokförlaget Lind & Co AB, 2024

Cover Art: Emma Graves, designstudioe.com

ISBN 978-91-8095-237-8

Adaptation to e-book: Katarzyna Rek

Chapter 1

Gaupås, July 1906

Inga blinked at Niels and Gudrun, who were standing next to her. She couldn’t believe her ears! Her father had forced her to marry old Niels at Gaupås. Yes, she thought bitterly, forced. She had been forced … And the day after the wedding, she was informed that Gudrun, Niels’s eldest daughter, was to be the lady of the house. The fact that Inga now had to bow her head to Gudrun, had to listen to her and ask her about all the daily chores on the farm made her feel worthless. So inferior. She even needed Gudrun’s approval just to fetch grain from the storehouse.

An acerbic response to the way she was being treated was dancing on the tip of her tongue, but she composed herself. Suddenly she remembered dear Emma’s wise words. The day Inga’s father had loaded her things into the cart to transport them to her new home, Emma had explained to her, ‘You must - even if it bothers you - try to get Niels on your side. I’m not saying you should play tricks, but you must be submissive and make life as comfortable for him as you can.’ The last words rang in Inga’s ears. She could hear the old servant’s advice, ‘If you win his trust and love, then Gudrun cannot hurt you. Because then it’s you Niels will want to follow …’

Inga nodded to herself, but she couldn’t hide her disappointment. Nor did she want to. Niels needed to understand that she thought the decision was both unfair and disgraceful. ‘I thought Gaupås was a farm that upheld traditions. Actually, I hoped you were a man of honour, Niels, and I thought the newlywed bride would carry the keys!’

Her outrage grew, and she gritted her teeth to calm down. There was a short pause while she searched for the right words. ‘But I accept that Gudrun is in charge here. For the time being. I may as well use the time to learn. I expect you to hand over the keys to me once you see that I am capable.’ She tried to smile softly at him, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Niels leant over the table and sighed with relief. He had clearly been dreading a dramatic scene.

When Inga turned on her heel to leave, Gudrun glared at her with hatred. Her cold, shiny eyes were set deep in their sockets, like those of a snake.

***

Sigrid ran towards Øvre Gullhaug farm. The guilt from not helping with the post-wedding clean-up plagued her, but for once she decided to listen to her inner voice. This time, she wasn’t going to let the chores come first. She was going to find out the truth about her mother!

‘Is that you, Sigrid, arriving all out of breath?’ Hedvig, the lady of the house, wiped the table down and arranged the red chequered tablecloth on it nicely. ‘I didn’t expect to see anyone from Gaupås today. So soon after the wedding, I mean …’

Sigrid felt at home in Hedvig’s warm kitchen. She had been best friends with Ingebjørg, the daughter of the house, for many years.

Hedvig poured two cups of coffee and kindly pushed one of them towards her. Sigrid leant over the cup and inhaled the beverage’s delicious scent. She was no longer so out of breath; her heart began to beat with a calmer rhythm.

‘Ingebjørg is staying with Halvdan …’

‘It’s not Ingebjørg I came to see,’ Sigrid interjected gently. ‘I want to speak with you.’

‘With me?’ Hedvig put her hand to her chest in surprise.

Sigrid was nervous. She had no idea how she would manage to ask her delicate questions, but she knew that Hedvig was the only person who had the courage to answer them. People were right that Hedvig was a gossip, and she could take advantage of that now. Sigrid took a sip of the hot coffee. ‘Tell me about Mama…’

‘About Andrine?’ Hedvig’s green eyes with brown specks watched her. ‘What do you want to know?’

Sigrid squirmed. ‘I spoke with Gulbrand and got the feeling he was hiding something from me …’

Hedvig took a deep breath. ‘So that’s the story you’re after …’

Sigrid didn’t dare to answer or meet the woman’s gaze. If she made the slightest move now, she thought anxiously, Hedvig too would fall silent. Her hands had turned clammy and sweaty, so she dragged them back and forth over her skirt.

‘Andrine came to the old priest, Rollefsen, and his wife when she was fifteen …’

Sigrid could hardly believe what she was hearing. ‘What do you mean came to? I thought Mother was his daughter!’

Hedvig swatted away a fly that was buzzing in front of her face. ‘So that’s what you have been told! No, Sigrid, she was placed with Rollefsen after a particular incident. She was taken into safekeeping, if I can put it that way. The Poverty Commission thought it was for the best. The gentlemen believed the priest could drive the sin out of her lost soul.’

Dark shadows flickered before Sigrid’s eyes. Everything she thought she had known about her mother … It turned out she knew nothing! Oh, why was it that the person it affected the most was always the last one to know the truth?

‘And the men from the Poverty Commission were right! Mr Rollefsen really managed to make your mother a good person. She eventually became pious, helpful and quiet. If one didn’t know her past, one wouldn’t have believed her capable of … such …’

The fear felt like a thumbscrew tightening around Sigrid’s heart. She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. ‘What had Mother done?’

‘Her father allegedly refused to allow her to marry a mere rag-and-bone man. And her revenge was merciless. She punished her father by setting fire to the farmhouse and the barn. Apparently, her family escaped the tragedy with their lives intact; however, her mother was in the farmhouse at the time, and her face was severely burnt. She was so badly disfigured that people turned away in disgust.’

Sigrid bent over the long table and cried. Hedvig put a comforting hand on her head and allowed her to get the tears out.

‘Andrine had to pay a heavy price for her act of vengeance. The rag-and-bone man wouldn’t acknowledge her after that. Her mother did not speak a word to her. As for her father …’ Hedvig shook her head. ‘He beat Andrine senseless. If the servants on the farm hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed her with his bare hands. That’s how Andrine ended up as a foster daughter to the priest and his wife …’

Sigrid rubbed her eyes. ‘I’ve never heard this before. I thought Mother was Rollefsen’s daughter. I never noticed anything disturbing about her.’

‘No, that’s understandable! Don’t dwell on this story, Sigrid. Andrine turned into a good person. Since that fatal incident, no one has had a bad word to say about your mother.’

Sigrid stifled a moan. She regretted her curiosity now. Truth be told, now she had some idea of where Gudrun had inherited her madness. But the beautiful memory she once had of her mother had been shattered, like ice on the puddles at harvest time.

***

Inga waited despondently in the bedroom. She bent forward, leaning her head against the window. The cold panes of glass cooled her forehead, and she closed her eyes with a sigh. She was unsure whether she had won the argument down in the kitchen. Had she been firm, but at the same time subservient enough? Had Gudrun and Niels understood that they couldn’t order her about as they pleased, that she had a will of her own? Yes, she thought she had made her point. They probably realized she was going to ask about the bundle of keys again. They mustn’t think she’d let Gudrun rule as lady of the house for long!

Niels had admittedly said that Gudrun would take care of the keys for a while. For a while! What did that mean? Were they talking about weeks, months or years? Her stomach felt queasy when it occurred to her that it might actually be years. Long, excruciating years.

‘No, no,’ Inga whispered to herself, distraught. ‘Heavenly Father, I know I don’t pray often, but this time you must look upon me with mercy. The keys don’t just provide a way to lock the buildings and keep track of the food supply. They are my salvation! Do You understand that?’ The question came as a cry for help.

Oh, if only God would give her a sign that he was listening! She had grown up with her childhood faith, but it was futile to believe that her fate was in the Lord’s hands. Only she could determine the course of her own life. It was she who defined her existence.

That affirmation reassured her, oddly enough. Actually, she should have been scared that she only had herself to rely on, and yet she was filled with an inexplicable calm. She knew that not only did she have to deal with Gudrun and all the demands that were made of her, but she had to try to make the right decisions along the way.

Inga had probably seen all the servants, but in the confusion of the wedding, she had not been able to distinguish between the guests and the people who worked on the farm. At the dinner table, she was finally able to greet everyone. At first, she sat tensely on her chair and felt like an intruder. She didn’t know them and had no one to talk to. Little by little, the conversation loosened up as she shook the hand of each of them. She had previously met the siblings Kristiane and Marlene in the barn. They smiled encouragingly at her, and Inga flushed with joy.

Gaupås clearly had many people in its employ. There were Gudrun, Sigrid and the siblings from the barn, of course. And another servant curtsied to her. ‘My name is Eugenie,’ said the tall, young girl with crooked teeth. ‘I’m in charge of the cooking and housework.’

Inga immediately liked the old farmhand, Gulbrand. He had a long, red beard and friendly, green eyes. When he smiled, they sparkled like twinkling stars. As they shook hands, her little hand disappeared into his rough fist. He patted her gently on the back of the hand, saying, ‘Welcome to the farm, Inga! If you need anything, please come and see me. I always know what to do.’ He ended his statement with a hearty chuckle.

As Gulbrand sat down at the long table, Tore stepped forward. He bowed politely, but did not dare to meet Inga’s gaze. Young Tore had dark, curly hair and blue eyes. His nose was finely chiselled, but in profile it was crooked.

‘A feast has been prepared for you,’ Niels announced, nodding towards Inga. ‘Steaming hot soup with dumplings, in honour of your first day as the lady of the house.’

‘Thanks, that’s very kind,’ Inga muttered, feeling touched. Lady of the house? He referred to her as such, but she was not. She didn’t get to be in charge of the keys as the lady of the house was supposed to be. Since there were others present, she chose to remain silent. Gratefully, she accepted the bowl of soup. This was not their normal diet, she knew from experience. Everyone bent over their bowls and slurped the fresh soup.

Inga hoped no one would quiz her about what she thought of the farm or how she envisaged the future. She did not have an answer to those questions, and she had not had time to think it through when Gulbrand wiped his hand on his beard and asked, ‘Now, Inga, do you think you will like it here, at Gaupås?’

Inga blushed, and her cheeks burnt like fire. Christ, what was she supposed to say? She didn’t want to lie, but she certainly couldn’t unleash the avalanche of pent-up despair that brewed inside of her.

‘Well …’ She thought about it, while frantically searching for something sensible to say. She glanced at Niels. His face was pale grey. Was he afraid she would expose the dark secret that she was brought to the farm as a prized cow? That she wasn’t allowed to express her opinion about the horse trade he did with her father? Even Niels felt ashamed of what he had done - she interpreted as much from his sloping shoulders. He probably wouldn’t appreciate her revealing how the marriage agreement had come about.

It had gone completely silent around the table. Gudrun and Niels kept their heads down. The servants, on the other hand, regarded her with increasing curiosity.

‘Certainly, certainly. I’m sure I will thrive,’ Inga said quietly. Then, slowly, she said, ‘With time.’

Chapter 2

Inga shook like an aspen leaf as bedtime approached. She sat in the chair in the living room and embroidered, lost in thought. The room was deathly quiet. Only Niels’s puffing on his pipe occasionally broke the deafening silence. He leafed through some documents and was clearly preoccupied with the rules and regulations surrounding some village matters. She was the reason why the atmosphere was so tense; she understood that. Laughter and chatter would likely have filled the room if she hadn’t been there.

Gudrun sat in the other armchair next to her, with just a little, round table between them. Gudrun’s needle went up and down through the embroidery at breakneck speed.

Inga stared stiffly down at her own embroidery, but the stitches blurred together before her eyes. A headache throbbed mercilessly in her head. She was scared. Afraid of what awaited her when she and Niels lay down in the marital bed.

Did he want to be with her tonight? Would he try to accomplish what he failed to do on the wedding night? She must be pretty deluded, she thought, if she believed that she would get out of it tonight as well. It could be that Niels had felt poorly on the wedding night, and that was the reason he’d rushed so suddenly out of the room. He could actually just have drunk a little too much.

The mystery of his disappearance the night before stood out in her mind. Why had he not taken her virginity? Inga wished she knew more about the interaction between a man and a woman in the marital bed. If her mother had been alive, she probably would have told her what she needed to know. The longing for the mother she’d never known welled up in Inga again and again. Her mother would probably have had some advice.

Inga closed her eyes and leant her head against the back of the chair. Thoughts and doubts had swirled in her head all day, and she was no closer to finding any answers. She was filled with a feeling she couldn’t fully grasp … It was as if an icy cold wind had swept through her. She tried to remember what had caused it … Had the chill blown through her yesterday? Or was it only now?

Suddenly, it was clear to her: it had happened in the kitchen when she had asked for the keys! When she saw the collusion between Niels and Gudrun, she got the strange sensation that she was a pawn in a game - in Niels and Gudrun’s game. A game where the rules were unknown to her.

‘I’m going to bed. You can’t just sit and sleep here.’

Gudrun’s gruff voice made Inga open her eyes. She blinked to clear her vision. Gudrun’s statement was directed at her, but she wasn’t actually sleeping. Was she not allowed to rest her eyes for a moment?

‘So early,’ exclaimed Niels.

‘Yes, I have a lot to do tomorrow.’

‘All right, sleep well then,’ Niels said to his daughter.

There was a deep resentment in Gudrun’s voice when she answered, ‘Yes, God knows I will try. Good night, Father.’

Niels fished the watch out of his vest pocket. ‘Will you put out the candles, Inga? It’s probably time we go up, too …’

‘Ye-es,’ Inga whispered breathlessly, then got up. On shaky legs, she walked around and blew out the candles. She took her time and watched the red-hot wicks die out. She had a healthy respect for fire. A forgotten or improperly extinguished candle could set the curtains and tablecloths ablaze in the blink of an eye. The flames would rise up the walls, and soon the whole house would be on fire. Anyone who was asleep wouldn’t stand a chance.

Afterwards, she went to the kitchen to drink some water. She fumbled her way through the darkness to the water bucket. With her fingers, she reached for a clean glass on the worktop. Luckily, the ladle was hanging in the bucket, so she found it straight away. She was not particularly thirsty, but she needed something to soothe her throat.

And something to buy her time, she thought anxiously.

With legs like lead, she climbed the steep, grey-painted stairs, step by step. When she entered the room, she found Niels sitting in the bed. He was waiting for her, his back against the headboard. It felt like the floor was swaying beneath her, and Inga didn’t know how she would disrobe with his eyes fixed on her body. How was she supposed to wash herself in peace?

Inga was overcome with fear as she carefully began to undress. She fumbled with her lace blouse, struggling to undo the top button. It was small and not easy to get hold of, especially when her hands were shaking like they were now. She wondered if Niels could tell. She cast a shy glance at him. He had folded his hands and put them behind his neck. With a satisfied smile, he watched her clumsy movements.

What should I do? What should I do? Inga asked herself. No way was she going to be naked in front of him. Niels would never see her like that. Never! She quickly decided not to wash herself. She would do it the following day. Once Niels left the room.

Finally, she managed to undo the obstinate button. After turning her back to Niels, she quickly took off her blouse. She slipped her nightgown over her head and pulled it down over her thighs. Once it reached her knees, she untied the waistband of her skirt and wriggled out of it. She bent down quickly, picked the skirt up from the floor and shook it out. With great care, she laid it neatly on the chair.

There! She was now dressed for the night, but would she be left in peace? She did not hesitate to wrap herself snugly in the duvet as soon as she got into bed.

Inga’s heart pounded in her chest when she saw Niels licking his fingers. Now he’s going to take me. I can’t escape. Fear tugged at her heartstrings and made her gasp for breath. She almost couldn’t believe it when Niels stretched out his arm and put out the candle with his wet fingertips.

‘Good night, Inga,’ he said as the merciful darkness swallowed all the shadows in the room. He turned his back to her and yawned.

Inga didn’t know whether to laugh or cry with relief when she realized that Niels was not going to do anything to her! She was as surprised as the night before, and for a while she lay there, unable to think.

She stared up at the ceiling in shock. Most of all, she wanted to laugh with relief - loudly and hysterically - but she didn’t. Imagine if Niels got annoyed. She mustn’t do anything that might attract his attention out of curiosity or anger.

Chapter 3

Fortunately, Niels had already got up when Inga awoke the next morning. She stretched her body and enjoyed being alone. She never thought she would have a happy moment here, on Gaupås farm, but it struck her that even little things could make the day worth living. Just the fact that Niels was not to be seen when she looked up was a source of happiness.

‘So now you come down?’ Gudrun rose from the dining table as Inga entered the kitchen. Abruptly, she fetched another plate and placed it with a thud in front of Inga.

Inga sat down slowly. She wanted to disappear, but stayed put. It was embarrassing that she hadn’t got up at the same time as everyone else. It wasn’t nice manners to be late for meals. The servants acted as if they didn’t care, but she saw them exchanging glances.

Oh, God, wasn’t there some way she could defend herself?

‘Yes,’ she replied, addressing Gudrun. ‘I see no reason to rush in the mornings. I have no chores waiting for me. You’ve made sure of that!’

‘What do you mean?’ Gudrun turned red in the face. Her whole body shook uncontrollably.

Inga straightened up. Anger boiled inside her. She had almost forgotten her decision not to annoy Niels, but now she didn’t care. ‘You have not given me so much as one thing, one little insignificant thing, which could be called mine. You could have shown me around the farm and made sure I had something to look after. Something I would be responsible for.’

‘You’ll get it,’ Gudrun hissed bitterly. With aggressive, jerky movements, she unhooked the key chain. It jangled under her fingers. With a wild look in her eyes, she began to pry a key from the big, round iron ring. ‘There you go,’ she almost shouted, throwing a small, black key onto the table. It danced across the tabletop, and finally came to rest in front of Inga.

‘Don’t be daft,’ Inga growled. ‘I know that the buildings are seldom locked. It’s only the places with valuable contents that are locked.’

‘Don’t you want it? Don’t you want it?’ Gudrun repeated angrily before Inga had a chance to answer.

‘I’ve never accepted handouts,’ Inga said, restrained. ‘And I don’t intend to start now. Not from you or anyone else.’

Gudrun seethed.

Finally, Niels intervened. ‘Quiet! I don’t want conflict at the kitchen table. Gudrun, sit down.’

Gudrun clenched her fists in rage and glared from her father to Inga before sinking down in the chair.

Inga did not pick up the key. It glinted at her. Mocked her.

Gudrun had wanted to give her the key to the outhouse.

‘Was that really necessary?’ After the meal, Sigrid faced Gudrun.

Gudrun turned flaming red at the rebuke. ‘If Inga is going to take my bundle of keys!’ Then she spitefully added, ‘I would only have given her responsibility for the outhouse. That’s all she deserves!’

Sigrid’s heart pounded in her chest. As a child, she had always listened to her sister, but now she chose to defend Inga. ‘You’re so nasty to her! She hasn’t done anything to you.’

‘Oh, shut up, will you?’ Gudrun shouted, then pushed her back abruptly.

‘I’m going to speak with her. Let her know that someone welcomes her to the farm!’ Sigrid hurried after Inga. Maybe she could catch up to her in the hallway.

Gudrun’s voice hissed angrily behind her, ‘You traitor! You bloody traitor!’

Sigrid pretended she couldn’t hear and flew up the stairs in a wild gallop. ‘Inga! Wait.’

Inga stopped, her hand resting on the railing. But Sigrid’s courage evaporated when she came face to face with her stepmother.

‘So, that’s what I’m worth,’ Inga said in a monotone voice. ‘It’s almost incomprehensible your sister could do such a thing to me. And in front of all the servants, too.’

‘I know,’ Sigrid whispered, ashamed.

Inga spoke almost to herself, ‘Gudrun doesn’t consider me capable of anything more than being responsible for the toilet. Not that I would shy away from the task if it was assigned to me. It’s just … just that Gudrun wants to put me down in front of everyone. She threw the key at me to give visible proof of my status on the farm!’

Sigrid didn’t try to defend her sister. She stood there, dumbfounded, letting Inga vent all her frustration.

‘If only it had been another key,’ muttered Inga, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. ‘Then, in spite of the humiliation, I would have picked it up. The more keys thrown at me, the better. Eventually, I would have them all.’

Sigrid almost didn’t dare to look at her when she said quietly, ‘I don’t think so, Inga. No more keys will be thrown at you. Gudrun will protect the keyring as her most precious possession.’

It pained Sigrid to see Inga sigh heavily.

***

Inga’s heart skipped a beat when she entered the kitchen several hours later. There, at the table with Niels and Gulbrand, sat Martin! At first, she was embarrassed and couldn’t even say hello or welcome, but then a big smile spread across her face.

It wasn’t fitting for her to light up so much from the reunion, yet she couldn’t hide her excitement and eagerness to see Martin again. It was like a good friend had come to comfort her in the midst of all the anguish. Inga was curious as to what errand had brought Martin here, and she looked from one to the other.

Niels swung his right leg over his left, hunched forward and buried his chin in his hand. Then he switched legs, leant backwards and finally announced, ‘There will be a change to the chores today, Gulbrand. Martin has offered to help you to cut the rest of the grass.’

‘I thought the cutting was done,’ Inga said, annoyed that she couldn’t speak naturally. She tried to clear her throat.

‘Yes, it is,’ Niels replied, and he gave her a crooked smile. ‘But there was a lot of extra work for the servants in connection with … well, with our wedding. So there is still a lot of grass by the stone fence up in the forest.’

Gulbrand was sitting next to Niels. ‘It was good of you to come, Martin. I must admit I have been worried that we wouldn’t be able to store all the hay in time. After all, we are talking about quite a lot of winter fodder.’

‘Unfortunately I can’t join you,’ Niels interjected. ‘My job requires a lot of paperwork …’

‘I can join you,’ Inga exclaimed before she had time to think. A blush flared in her cheeks as the three men turned their attention to her.

‘You …’ Niels stuttered hesitantly.

‘I can be of use. I’ve cut grass before. I know what to do.’

‘I don’t know …’ Niels stammered uncertainly. ‘Maybe Gudrun has a use for you here.’

Gulbrand interrupted, ‘Let her come, Niels. I’ll take care of her.’ He smiled sweetly at the master of the house.

Niels ran his hand through the grey tufts of hair on his head. ‘I have to check with Gudrun.’ He got up to find his daughter.

Inga’s hopes were fading fast. She wouldn’t get to be involved if Gudrun spotted the sparkle in her eyes. That much was certain. Gudrun would likely find a chore for her soon enough if she sensed Inga’s eagerness to be with Gulbrand and Martin.

Martin stopped Niels with a wave of his hand. ‘Have you shown Inga the farm’s boundaries?’

Niels blinked. ‘No’ came the slow reply. ‘I thought she knew the area well.’

‘She probably does,’ Martin said, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder. ‘But I thought Gulbrand and I could show her. What do you say?’

Niels looked from Martin to Gulbrand. Finally, he decided. ‘Yes, let’s do that.’

Inga breathed a sigh of relief. She would spend the day with Martin … Just the thought of it filled her with joy. Gone were all the self-imposed bans on enjoying his beautiful face, golden hair and strong hands. Gone was the knowledge that she shouldn’t get to know him because it would intensify her longing.

Elated, Inga hurried up to her room to get changed. The blouse she was wearing wasn’t dirty, but she wanted to wear a nicer one. One that suited her better …

When she came down to the kitchen again, she saw Gulbrand and Martin through the window. They were busy honing the scythes. Inga hummed as she disappeared into the pantry. Fortunately, the door was unlocked. Gudrun must have forgotten! A sweet smell of sugar, flour and spices hit her. She took a deep whiff of the delicious scent before grabbing cold meats, bread and milk and placing them in a basket.

Inga enjoyed the sensual aspect of the walk. Martin once came close to her shoulder, but she made no attempt to move. It was so wonderful to walk like that. To feel the warmth of a person she liked and to feel his spirit …

Small bushes and shrubs grew on either side of the road. Soon they came to a clearing, and they could glimpse the stone fence through the low bushes.

‘I will help you across the stone wall. Since you are carrying the lunch basket,’ Martin added quickly. He jumped across it first and turned round to grab Inga’s hand. She snatched his hand eagerly. His warm, rough skin did something to her, igniting a pleasant spark within.