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- Herausgeber: Victor Ehighaleh
- Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
- Sprache: Englisch
From the beauty of a pleasant family setting, Maxi Obinna glided through the corporate and business world so seamlessly – even while being surrounded by religious and irreligious friends and neighbors.
Suddenly, strange and pleasant hearts began to speak in diverse homes – real, wicked, and imaginary, until Abegi, Umazi, and their hideous gang began to prosper and cry…
A tale of the hidden truth laid so bare… on the altar of bitterness, tragedy and regret.
Indeed, the evil that men do, gives them a slap – hotter than hell.
Das E-Book können Sie in Legimi-Apps oder einer beliebigen App lesen, die das folgende Format unterstützen:
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020
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Victor Ehighaleh
The Creeping Palms
A Novel
Table of contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY - ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY - TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY - THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY - FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY - FIVE
Also by Victor Ehighaleh
The Creeping Palms
Copyright © 2019 by Victor Ehighaleh. All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the prior written permission of the author.
This is a work of fiction.
All the characters, localities and names in this book are products of the author’s imagination. It has nothing to do with any living or dead person.
Esthom Graphic Prints.
To my angels, Oseremen and Oseiwe
CHAPTER ONE
As Obinna Junior, a regular sleep-walker woke up from bed he looked through the dusty window that has never left his bedside since the age of Twelve and a half. Suddenly, he discovered a strange black pole a few metres ahead of his father’s house. He instinctively observed numerous strange looking glowing pin-heads on top of the black pole. The desire to explore the strange pole and its heads overwhelmed him. He left his bedroom and tiptoed to the living room enroute the pole. A moment later, he found himself standing by the side of the pole.
He touched the pole and wiped his face with his palm before looking above the pole so as to be sure he was not hallucinating. On top of the pole are glittering bulbs enclosed in strange tubes which had attracted him. The atmosphere reminded him of his childhood dream of embarking on a visit to the sky to touch and count all the stars in sight. He soon began to count the pin-like strange lights in the sky of his eyes.
He opened his small mouth which enclosed an array of sparkling-white and beautifully structured teeth before he began to utter feeble words in quick succession – one, two, three, four, five… After the count of thirty two, his incantation had hit an abrupt end. He soon began to wonder aloud about the miraculous existence of the strange looking pole.
After achieving his purpose, he decided to embark on a return journey home and as he looked ahead of him, the sight of a heavily bearded moon-faced and well-built man in black apparel, walking towards him frightened him to his marrow and after a very short while, he discovered that he was not day-dreaming – the approaching man is his father. Apparently, he noticed a coiled rope made from animal skin conspicuously dangling on his father’s right hand – the discovery made him begin to palpitate before his stone-faced Dad roared at him –
“Obinna, why did you leave the front door open to the extent that twelve neighbourhood goats had been able to enter and litter the living room with their droppings.”
As expected, he betrayed the usual cry and screamed.
“Daddy please, I am sorry.”
Maxi Obinna, in a fit of rage, moved so ferociously absentminded and engaged his biceps until the sound of – fhew, fhew, fhew, - landed on Obinna Junior’s body and also took over every space surrounding his body. The young Obinna soon found himself in excruciating pains and he instinctively borrowed the shoes of a cheetah before he out-run his panting father after a spirited hot chase.
After Obinna Junior had outpaced him, Maxi Obinna noticed strange drops of blood flowing almost endlessly by the side of his head. His bewildered heart soon transited to his mouth and he began to echo a monotonous song - Ewuu! Ewuu! Ewuu...
His cry woke up his snoring wife who instinctively rushed to the front door like a body set on fire to ascertain the reason behind her husband’s strange outburst.
“Maxi – What is wrong with you? You are bleeding”
“I suggest you ask your son.” Maxi replied so harshly.
“You have lost much blood – we need to stop the flow.”
“Why are you still standing – get the first aid box!” Maxi exclaimed.
“Okay sir.”
Ifeoma, a registered nurse reappeared in a jiffy with the first aid box and soon succeeded in curtailing the flow of blood. Afterwards, Maxi began to recount his strange experience.
“Ifeoma – This is rather strange. I honestly do not have a cogent explanation to give. In fact, I am too bewildered to be able to understand the source or reason behind the sudden outburst of life from my head.”
“Don’t you think someone hauled a stone at you or you hit your head on something?” Ifeoma asked.
Maxi Obinna’s face contracted before he roared -
“Ifeoma, Stop the joke, do you think I am a kid?”
“Okay Maxi – let us allow the sun to dry the clothes. It is too early to start forcing a lion to eat bananas. I guess I’m naturally concerned about your well-being – you know I hate needless quarrels. You must not allow me to break our rule. I am sure you are aware we are already running late for work.”
Maxi remembered they had jointly agreed not to be angry at the same time. He knew Ifeoma had almost broken the agreement – he soon decided to be calm so as to avoid unnecessary aggravation of the incident and being late for work.
A moment later, Obinna Junior fearfully emerged from his hideout after fifteen minutes. He looked right and left before he made the decision to proceed home and hide under the shadow of his mother. In a short while, he found himself at their front door.
He was momentarily transfixed after he remembered the fifteen minutes old incident. He soon found himself eavesdropping on his parents who were busy debating over his whereabouts. Luckily for him, he had noticed his mother’s desperation to unite with him because he needed to get ready for school.
As a result of the green light shown by his mother, he boldly knocked on the front door and waited for his mother’s response.
Ifeoma screamed –
“Who is by the door.”
“It’s me Mummy.” Obinna Junior replied.
“You must not come into this house.” Maxi Obinna responded.
“Please Daddy I am sorry.” Obinna Junior replied.
After a brief silence, he entered the living room and appeared crestfallen before he scooped on his knees while pleading for forgiveness.
Maxi’s face became numb and forlorn until Ifeoma volunteered to bridge the gap. Soon, father and son were reconciled. A moment later, Obinna Junior observed something unusual on his father’s head.
“Dad – What happened to your head? I can see traces of blood clots.”
The agitated Obinna senior made a brisk remark –
“Obinna, I suppose the answer resides in the habitation of Amadioha.”
A moment later, a gentle knock at the door elicited the disappearance of Maxi into the bedroom while Ifeoma asked –
“Who is by the door?”
“Good morning mummy Obinna, it’s me Ifeku.”
“Oh, Good morning, you can come right in my dear.”
Ifeku entered the living room and after the exchange of pleasantries, Obinna did the needful by retiring to his room to thank his God for delivering him from his father’s wrath.
Ifeku momentarily observed an unusual odour and its source in the living room and decided to enquire.
“Mummy Obinna – Your living room is littered with animal droppings. Do you breed goats here?”
“Not quite my sister – Obinna left the front door ajar a moment ago and a group of neighbourhood goats made their way into the living room – that explains the droppings.”
“Oh I am so sorry.”
“That’s alright – Let me beckon on Obinna to take care of the mess while we go outside to continue with our discussions.”
Ifeoma screamed –
“Obinna - the animal droppings are begging for your attention!”
Ifeku’s visit was short lived. She had exited Maxi Obinna’s residence in less than five minutes. Ifeoma thereafter retired to the kitchen to prepare breakfast while Obinna Junior crossed over to the bathroom. As soon as breakfast was ready, Ifeoma rushed to the bathroom to have her bath and a moment later, was united with Obinna Junior on the dining table.
Forty minutes later, Maxi Obinna returned to the living room after a hot bath to the warm embrace of Ifeoma and Obinna who were already having their breakfast.
“Dad – You are almost late for work.” Obinna opined.
“I still have about twenty five minutes left before resumption. Hopefully, breakfast should be over in less than ten minutes and as soon as that happens, we should be on our way.”
“Okay Dad.” Obinna Junior replied.
Ifeoma glanced at her husband’s injury and decided to give advice.
“Maxi, you should be mindful of the injury on your head while at work. If necessary, I suggest you ask for a day break so as to enable you to have a proper rest.”
“I am okay Ifeoma, that won’t be necessary.” Maxi replied.
Maxi works as a retail manager in a blue chip supermarket holding located on the ever busy Stone Street. He had arrived just in time before resumption and immediately proceeded to his office to behold a list of receivables lying angrily on his desk. Mr Nsofor – the managing director a few minutes before, had instructed his secretary to deliver the list of receivables to Maxi’s office. The managing director was obviously not pleased about the huge debts owed the company. In fact he opined that the debt profile was capable of threatening the liquidity status of the company.
As soon as Maxi sighted the list on his desk, he became so apprehensive and instantly knew he had swallowed more than the capacity of his stomach. He immediately summoned the sales team and rightly ordered them to prepare to welcome more dust on their shoes and also get their clothes ready for the absorption of large amounts of sweat because the managing director was already dangling a sorrow-breeding sickle before the retail department.
After dispatching the sales team, he remembered his wife’s advice and instinctively knew that he could not afford to ask for a break because the atmosphere at Triple Bongo Limited was too charged. He reasoned that any attempt to seek for a day break will undoubtedly lead to untoward repercussions. In fact, he assured himself that it will be easier to recover a tiny pin from the bottom of the sea than for the managing director to grant his request. He thereafter resolved to manage the situation professionally.
A moment later, as expected, he was summoned to the managing director’s office to explain why disciplinary action should not be taken against him as a result of the huge debt that has bedeviled the company. The fact that he had already dispatched the sales team to recover the debts saved him from outright disciplinary action.
*
A few hours later, the atmosphere at Triple Bongo Limited had changed so dramatically. The sales team had succeeded in collecting seventy percent of the outstanding debts. This singular action saved Maxi Obinna from ending up like a fish out of water.
At the close of work, Maxi Obinna drove his red coloured saloon car out of Triple Bongo’s car park. He soon made his way out of the ever busy Stone Street and headed for the East circular road. After navigating through the road so filled with brightly coloured luxuriant trees lining both sides of the road on East circular road he turned right after the police post. Soon, in less than twenty minutes, he was already on Keys Lane – a street that consists of well structured homes. His house, a fenced three bedroom cream colored bungalow was open to anything that can move because it lacked a gate. A welcome fragrance emanated from the luxuriant flowers that line the front of the house before the fence.
As usual the seasonal high number of brightly coloured petals littered the floor of the compound before the front door. Obinna Junior had once joked that even the blind would notice the presence of Hibiscus flower plants that filed round the compound almost endlessly like soldiers undergoing pre-battle briefing.
Finally, the masquerade was home. The injury on his head had gone on a recess courtesy of the pressure at work. Maxi happily drove through the narrow path leading to his front door before switching off the ignition after he had parked the red saloon car at its normal resting place. As he walked toward the front door, he heaved a sigh of relief when he heard the sound of agitated water and fats hissing and protesting violently away from the frying pan in the kitchen. This happened whenever his wife was frying fish or meat. Maxi was sure of a fabulous dinner - it would make up for his rather queer experience at work.
Obinna Junior as usual, was busy with his school assignment and did not notice the arrival of his father who had strolled in and went straight into the kitchen. A highly surprised Ifeoma happily embraced her husband at a safe distance away from the angry battalion of air-borne hot water and oil within the airspace of the frying pan.
CHAPTER TWO
Maxi Obinna woke up to meet a bright new morning. He was so refreshed and had obviously gotten rid of the dry and unfriendly glassy-clouds that had so menacingly hovered over his head the previous day at work. As far as he was concerned he was not yet out of the gutter but was sure of a better beginning beyond the huge “calabash pot” that was so brazenly left across his path the previous day.
As he prepared for work, his childhood friend – Idemudia, suddenly arrived at his doorstep. A characteristic hard knock was interrupted by a subsequent group of voices speaking intermittently in hushed tones. This strange occurrence tampered with Maxi’s airspace. A moment later, his front door was so forcefully let down and before he could utter the word – Johnbull, his living room was overwhelmed by a flood of distrust looking ruffians.
He soon realized that the gods are angry. His bewildered wife and son were not bold enough to come close to the invading army of manner-less creatures. The air of violence smiled over the house and the sound of thunder boldly stood on top of the roof of the living room.
As the leader of the gang approached Maxi, his sense of comfort was taken over by “chickens” and soon, he was lying on the floor like a hundred years old cadaver. The gang leader soon began to hallucinate and in a jiffy the invaders disappeared like a piece of meat in the mouth of a famished slave.
Idemudia was the only one left standing and as soon as his brain escaped from the hibernation mode, he screamed so loudly to the extent that all human legs in the neighbourhood appeared and filled Maxi’s house and its surroundings.
An apparently lifeless Maxi Obinna was rushed to the Life-Line hospital by Idemudia and the community leaders. The hospital predates Maxi Obinna and Idemudia. Legions of Doctors work at the two hundred and fifty beds well structured hospital situated on a very large expanse of land on East circular road. The hospital premises have a peculiarly segmented car park that was tailored to meet the specifications of its management.
Maxi Obinna was soon admitted and given first class medical attention. Two hours later, he regained consciousness and began to ask strange questions in quick succession.
“What happened to me?”
“What is my offence?”
“Who wants me dead?”
“Are you sure I am alive?”
Ifeoma, Idemudia and Obinna Junior who were sitting by his bedside had been looking so morose. Apparently, Idemudia had not been able to get over the shock that had affected his ability to think well. He was as confused as a mouse that suddenly found itself in the home of hungry looking cats. He could not decipher the origin of the crowd that attacked his friend neither could he recognize the face of any of the invaders. In fact, it appears to him like a visit from outer space. He was so bemused that even the walls of the room could feel the impact of the frenzy. He soon began to utter words that respond like a trail of echoes.
Ifeoma and Obinna Junior as expected looked so forlorn. Traces of tear-like looking shadows betrayed their face. They were obviously having a recess after an explosion of river-like flow of tears that rudely took over the better part of their world only a moment before.
Unfortunately, the doctors could not decipher the true nature of Maxi’s predicament. They only noticed his rather unstable disposition which hugely contradicted all tests administered on him. The moment their findings were made known to Ifeoma, the sea of tears soon began to flow from its source of captivity without measure. Obinna Junior soon agreed with his mother on the next line of action – he instinctively plunged into a temporal reverse and soon, a great outflow of tears surged forward and rudely washed away everything along its path until it emptied on his father’s body.
Ifeoma’s colleagues at Life-Line hospital entered the room by their numbers and gave words of succor and encouragement to Ifeoma who was supposed to have resumed at the female ward.
Obinna Junior’s absence at school elicited a phone call to Ifeoma. The unexpected call jostled Ifeoma back to reality and she informed the caller of the avoidable incident that had necessitated Obinna’s absence from school.
Four hours later, Maxi’s predicament had filtered to Triple Bongo Limited and his managing director and some staff were soon at his bedside clouded by compassion for him after they behold his condition. The urgency in their eyes is akin to the one demonstrated by ants on a mission to cart away mountains of sugar. Their thoughts so loudly resonated to the extent that everyone wished he was hale and hearty and back at his bit in the office.
The next day, Maxi Obinna miraculously began to recover so readily from stupor. His wife and son who had been by his bedside throughout the night soon embraced a rising hope. The hospital management and Ifeoma’s colleagues also joined the euphoria.
The next two days witnessed a more refreshed Maxi and at the tail-end of the day, he was discharged from the hospital and Life-Line hospital management made its ambulance available for the home journey.
Despite the fact that Maxi Obinna’s neighbours had helped to fix the front door shortly after the sordid attack, the ambience of the living room was betrayed by traces of the fragrance of violence visited upon Maxi Obinna – the settee and curtains were soiled by a white powdery substance.
Idemudia who later became a patient at Life-Line hospital and was discharged a day before Maxi was the first caller at Maxi Obinna’s residence. The two childhood friends heaved a sigh of relief that the nightmare was over.
Idemudia’s arrival prompted Ifeoma’s visit to the kitchen store where she realized that she needed to make a quick dash to the market to buy food stuff for dinner. She promptly beckoned on her husband who had been buried in discussions with Idemudia and subsequently, she found herself gone beyond Stone Street to the main market in the neighbourhood.
Fifty five minutes had passed before she reunited with the waiting kitchen. Meanwhile, Idemudia and Maxi had already exhausted most of the strength available to them. They promptly pleaded with Ifeoma to bail them out with a glass of fruit juice. As soon as they were served, their stomach began to dance to a new tune. Meanwhile, Obinna frolicked around his mother in the kitchen whilst he refreshed himself with an uncontrolled volume of fruit juice.
A moment later, dinner was served and Idemudia engaged himself until the lid of his stomach refused to open. He soon thanked the Maxi Obinna household for hosting him before he made his way to the front door. A moment later, his shadow had disappeared into the embrace of the night.
After Idemudia’s exit, Maxi Obinna began to retrospectively examine his recent travails. He impulsively shook his head so slowly in utter disbelief and amazement. Two incidents whose source had not been confirmed so boldly stood before him in an atmosphere of bewilderment.
The sound of Ifeoma’s voice brought him back to the plane of reality. The trio soon began to belch satisfactorily and after a short moment of rest in the living room they had put all pending issues on hold and retired to the comfort of their beds.
Obinna returned to Victory College the next day and received a very friendly welcome by his classmates. Ifeoma and Maxi were scheduled to resume work within the next twenty four hours.
After a well deserved rest, Ifeoma returned to her bit at Life-Line hospital while Maxi Obinna kissed a warm embrace at Triple Bongo Limited. As expected, his recent ordeal had significantly changed the atmosphere at Triple Bongo Limited. The managing director had lost all sense of agitation concerning the debt profile because it had been so considerably reduced to a very manageable level.
After the close of work, the fresh air and the anticipation of a long weekend positively changed Maxi’s mood. He soon arrived home to meet his better half and only child already waiting to behold his presence.
The two familiar faces soon joined him in scintillating family talk. A moment later, he tuned his “radio” to the frequency of the bathroom and after a refreshingly warm and soothing bath a familiar tune cried out from his phone and he instantly answered the call. On the other side of the voice exchange was the ever nosy and quintessential socialite in the community – Umazi. He had informed Maxi of his intention to be at Maxi’s residence in about two hours on a get-well visit. Maxi instantly approved the visit and the other voice naturally fizzled out of existence.
Maxi Obinna soon pointed the torch of reality at Ifeoma and Obinna Junior. The news of Umazi’s approaching visit made Obinna Junior to roar like a triumphant Lion. He instantly rushed into his room to get through with his school assignment before Umazi’s arrival. An elated and enthusiastic Ifeoma also dashed into the kitchen to prepare dinner for the family and guest.
At exactly two hours and five minutes after the phone call, the sound of an approaching vehicle informed Maxi’s family of Umazi’s presence. Obinna Junior soon rushed to the front door like a rat running into its hole in safety. Soon, Umazi’s car zoomed to a halt and before he alighted, Obinna was already positioned by his side brandishing his characteristically beautifully arrayed sparkling-white teeth to signify a very warm welcome. Obinna Junior was so surprised to see Abegi in the car. He soon rushed to her side to exchange greetings.
A moment later, Umazi had helped his wife to alight. Apparently, she appeared like a sac enclosing a miniature sac. The later sac is inhabited by droppings of breathings that had been birthed in a systematic sequence of orderliness. The rotund nature of her abdomen looked like rain drops already detached from the sky but awaiting their ultimate bang on the floor of happiness.
Abegi’s slow movement forced Umazi and Obinna Junior to move at the same pace. A very anxious Maxi and Ifeoma who had already positioned themselves at the front door were shocked to see Abegi. They had thought it was a solo visit.
“Oh my God – See this couple!” Maxi exclaimed.
“Ah! Maxi Maxitus – I decided to surprise you.” Umazi remarked.
“What a surprise indeed.”
Ifeoma also exchanged greetings with the couple and in a jiffy they were ushered into the cool ambience of the living room.
As expected, Ifeoma aptly dished out drinks and before the count of ten, five mouths were opening and closing at hurried intervals to let in some quantities of juice. As the refreshment continued, Ifeoma engaged Abegi in a highly spirited and warm conversation.
“It’s been quite a while, you are looking more flabby now.”
“What do you expect? The baby in my womb should be blamed for my extra weight.” Abegi answered.
Ifeoma laughed…
“I already know the culprit – never mind.” Ifeoma opined.
“Ifeoma – You are still your old self. I suppose you were at work today?”
“Sure. Life-Line Hospital does not joke with the work schedule.” Ifeoma answered.
“That reminds me – How is Doctor Ozigi?” Abegi asked.
“He is doing pretty fine. We exchanged greetings about eight hours ago.”
“I should be at Life-Line tomorrow morning to see him.”
“Oh, that is alright.” Ifeoma replied.
Maxi Obinna and Umazi had been engrossed in all manner of conversations. Umazi had been so busy asking probing questions.
“Idemudia informed me about the two strange travails you had recently.”
“You are absolutely right. I honestly cannot explain the source.” Maxi replied.
“I was informed that the first one involved a mysterious outflow of blood from the side of your head.”
“That’s also true. My wife was duly on ground to help stop the unfortunate flow.”
“I am so sorry my dear.”
“Idemudia also informed me about your second experience. He said mysterious people invaded your house while he was at your front door on a visit.”
“That one is also true. As at this moment no one knows their origin or whereabouts. I was suddenly turned into a lifeless wreck and was lucky to have been rushed unconscious to the hospital.”
“So sorry I wonder why people could be so heartless.” Umazi opined.
“My brother, on this one, our hands are obviously inside the same soup.” Maxi replied.
After the response, Maxi Obinna intuitively decided to change the subject of discussion because he did not wish to remember the sordid incident. In fact, it appears like the incident had deposited a mountain of bitter tasting ants in his mouth. He aptly and rightly chose to move away from the mountain of doldrums to an avenue inhabited by peace and freedom.
A moment before, Obinna Junior had returned to his room because his parents and guests had turned him into an orphan in their discussions.
After a while, Ifeoma remembered she had yet to serve dinner. She soon beckoned on her son to come over to the kitchen to assist her.
Five minutes later, the five mouths were fully engaged on the dining table. Ifeoma had prepared pounded yam and vegetable soup with a very rich blend of fish, cow skin and meat. As the mouths dispatched the food through the “channel of discovery,” a repeat became almost unending until they began to belch in unison. The five mouths soon crashed and became inactive after undergoing feats of pleasurable work a short moment before. At this point, the only sensible thing to do was for the “flies” to escape from being buried with the “dead body” – they exited the dining table.
Umazi and Abegi soon expressed their profound gratitude before making their way through the front door to the waiting arms of their car and soon, the shouts of goodnight filled the atmosphere shortly before Umazi’s car – a white saloon car began to sing familiar tunes as he drove out of Maxi Obinna’s house. Soon, the structures on Keys Lane began to wave at Umazi and Abegi and after a minute, the car had disappeared from reach.
Umazi navigated through the normal bottleneck on the road and after a while he found himself on Alaba Street. His residence was located at the tail-end of the street and as soon as he had got to the front of his gate he alighted from the car and proceeded to open the gate.
His residence was situated on a large expanse of land. Tall trees rudely dot every available space in the compound. As he parked the car, he overheard strange noise emanating from the large empty space reserved for social functions at the back of his bungalow. He instantly chose to visit the location after he had helped his wife alight from the car to the living room.
Soon, Umazi curiously headed for the large empty space to ascertain the source of the noise. He was instantly frightened and transfixed when he discovered the presence of two snakes engaged in a serious fight. He quickly rushed to the house and emerged moments later with a cutlass but unfortunately, after a few minutes of frantically searching for the snakes he could no longer behold their presence. He soon began to soliloquy before he realized that the tall trees in his compound may have turned into a habitation of dangerous snakes. He concluded by saying to himself –
“Anyone who littered his surroundings with grains of sugar will automatically offer employment to ants.”
CHAPTER THREE
Umazi and Abegi woke up to a bright new morning and as he prepared to have his breakfast, he discovered feeble but sharp pains in his right foot. Soon, he began to wonder about the unfriendly guest before he managed to sit on the chair to eat. Abegi strolled in and joined him on the dining table. A short while later he commenced his usual jokes.
He had described his wife as being akin to an overfed toad lying almost helplessly on top of a mangrove tree. He also inferred that her over-bloated stomach reminds him of his late mother’s pregnant goat that usually prefers to deliver her offspring only on a rock situated about a hundred metres away from their home.
As Abegi smiled almost silently she began to caution her husband because the joke was negatively affecting her. She suddenly began to cough almost helplessly. Umazi observed her condition and soon decided to halt the jokes in order to attend to her. After the cough subsided, they continued with breakfast almost silently.
A moment later whilst still having breakfast, an unexpected knock on the front door catapulted them into a deep frenzy reminiscence of the ordeal of Maxi Obinna. Soon, Abegi began to palpitate so loudly to the extent that the visibly agitated Umazi had to ignore the fellow at the door so as to attend to his wife.
Soon, a generous outburst of a known voice ushered Umazi into a state of apparent tranquility. He subsequently informed his more relaxed wife that all was well.
Kolade, his first son from his previous marriage, was at the door and had come for his school fees. This was a usual practice by Kolade whose mother had advised him to always visit his father during breakfast to collect school fees. Fortunately, Umazi had always obliged Kolade whenever he called in the early hours of the day. This secret was well known to Kolade’s mother. Umazi believed that refusal to honour such requests from his offspring will make the day very unfruitful for him.
As soon as Umazi opened the front door, he was inundated with greetings. Kolade was soon united with his non-compromising step mother who had fully recovered from the shock.
“Good morning ma.”
“Oh, Kolade how are you?”
“So well ma.” Kolade replied.
Expectedly, Kolade was merely acting out a script. Umazi was of the opinion that Kolade hated his step mother and knew he needed to act so as to achieve his objective. A moment later, Abegi invited Kolade to join them on the breakfast table but unfortunately, Kolade had declined.
After breakfast, Umazi dispatched Kolade who had succeeded in having his school fees. He thereafter retired to the bedroom to prepare for work. Unfortunately, while he was engrossed in preparations, he suddenly heard a sharp monotonous cry from Abegi.
“Oh! Oh, Oh…”
He instantly rushed out of the bedroom and soon discovered that his wife was having labour pains. He promptly comforted her and retired to the bedroom to collect all the childbirth materials in the wardrobe. He soon began to behave like a brave mother-hen apparently safeguarding her chicks from an invading hawk. Thereafter, he dropped off the childbirth materials in the car and quickly returned to the living room to assist his wife get into the car.
The journey to Life-Line hospital soon ticked away on a very expectant note. Umazi’s anxiety made him take the wrong route through Stone Street instead of heading towards Jones Street. When he realized his folly, he hissed so loudly. Unfortunately, his action caused an increase in Abegi’s pains. The excruciating pains soon gathered momentum and she began to weep and shout uncontrollably. The unfavourable noise jostled Umazi back to his senses and he began to navigate his way to East circular road.
As he approached the roundabout, a hungry looking policeman flagged down his vehicle causing him to stop so abruptly with an explosion of bottled-up anger. The policeman impulsively cocked his gun in anticipation of a possible eventuality.
Like a sheep looking at its slaughter-knife, Umazi instantly opted to feign laughter whilst the policeman noticed the presence of a woman apparently singing harsh pain songs in an atmosphere of bitterness.
The policeman had originally intended to extort Umazi but when he realized that he needed to set Umazi free because of Abegi’s pain, he had to swallow his intention hook, line, and sinker and in less than a minute Umazi was back on the road.
As Umazi happily sighted the giant edifice few metres ahead of him on East circular road, he heaved a sigh of relief and a moment later, he found himself at the hospital gate. He drove through the highly structured parking lot and was directed by a security staff after enquiry to proceed to another path where cars had apparently been locked up in a horrid queue. Umazi was so angry despite the fact that he had been informed that the maternity ward had a special parking lot. As far as he was concerned he was totally displeased with slow movements like that of a chameleon.
He had to willy-nilly undergo the chameleon-friendly movement with extreme apprehension because Abegi had intermittently fallen into periodic sessions of pain and relief until the car kissed the final resting place at the front of the maternity ward. As soon as he alighted, he beckoned on some nurses on duty to assist his wife get into the ward while he came along with the brightly coloured bag containing the childbirth materials in the car trunk.
Like the force of attraction between a magnet and a metal, Abegi was soon ushered into the ward and after the necessary documentation, Doctor Ozigi promptly examined her and advised that she strolled around the hospital environment for a while to prepare her for the safe landing of the unborn baby.
Umazi was instantly left alone to assist his wife carry out the doctor’s instruction. Soon, Abegi began to walk around in pain while being aided by her husband.
After thirty minutes of walking around the hospital, they returned to the waiting arms of nurses in the ward and a moment later, Abegi was admitted after she had passed the necessary green-light examinations. A nurse subsequently directed Umazi to wait at the reception hall for updates.
While waiting, the visibly exhausted Umazi began to regurgitate the events that preceded their arrival at the hospital with nostalgia. He was so amused by the action of the policeman who cocked his gun apparently to fire at him. He also ruminates on the various episodes of Abegi’s pain-filled sobs and began to wonder aloud about the route to childbirth after so many years of embarking on such a journey with his estranged first wife. He thereafter concluded that he would prefer to end up in the belly of a lion than to accept to become a woman.
After a long while, Umazi who had fallen into a peaceful slumber was jostled back to life by a gentle touch on his upper right arm by a nurse who suddenly made an announcement –
“Sir, congratulations, your wife had given birth to triplets.”
Umazi rose up and exclaimed –
“What! You don’t mean it.”
The nurse stabilized him and after a few seconds, the reality dawned on him and he began to consider himself as a father of triplets. He promptly asked the nurse whether all was well with his wife and babies. The smile-engulfed nurse quickly affirmed that it was well with them.
“Can I come over to see them?” Umazi asked.
“No, you can see them in about one hour from now.” The nurse replied.
Umazi soon began to count his luck and the huge financial burden the sudden news was likely to put on him. He also imagined how his wife would cope with the triplets. At this point, he remembered that he had failed to ask the nurse about the sex of the babies due to shock. He thereafter chose to console himself with a proverb –
“A man whose head was already in the mouth of a lion does not think about the safety of his children.”
As one hour tickled to a close, Umazi was already united with his wife and triplets – two boys and a girl. The boys looked so much like him while the girl aligned with her mother.
The new birth had attracted a sea of heads - Nurses, Doctors and visitors to the ward stopped over to felicitate with them. Umazi had suddenly transformed into a celebrity in the midst of die-hard fans as a result of the sea of heads singing the congratulations chorus. He soon viewed himself as an athlete who had just won an Olympic Gold Medal. This realization had made him forget about the financial hurdle patiently praying at him. The overwhelming show of solidarity for his family had also put on hold the pains in his right foot.
A moment later, he witnessed the cry of the boys – the girl almost immediately collected the baton from her brothers in a show of solidarity. The brand new mother soon realized the enormousness of the challenge patiently lying ahead of her. The thought of asking her mother to come over to her residence almost permanently occupied her space.
Doctor Ozigi returned to Abegi’s bedside for the umpteenth time. His action signified the huge importance attached to the well-being of the triplets and their mother by the hospital management. After another round of routine checks, he was convinced that all was well with mother and babies. He subsequently informed Umazi who was loitering around about the impending discharge of his wife. He also asked him to come over to his office for the bill as soon as possible.
As a result of Doctor Ozigi’s instruction, Umazi had become so apprehensive. The sudden news had sent cold shivers down his spine. His heart began to palpitate and his wife soon noticed his discomfort. She promptly chipped off a silent smile from the right side of her pretty lips and Umazi soon got the message and had to set free the “dangerous bird” inside his heart.
After a while, he gathered enough strength and boldly walked into Doctor Ozigi’s office. The piece of paper in Doctor Ozigi’s custody was soon transferred to Umazi who quickly stole a quick glance and after a few seconds – his face shone so brightly like a star. He thereafter thanked Doctor Ozigi so immensely for the excellent service. He also asked him to extend his gratitude to the hospital management.
Doctor Ozigi cheerfully informed him that he had gotten so used to the Umazi family and would appreciate an invitation to the baby naming ceremony. The request made Umazi laugh so hilariously and he promised to honour the doctor’s wish. Soon afterwards, Umazi raced like a cheetah to Abegi’s bedside with the “good-news” paper. He subsequently handed it over to his wife to peruse and after a few seconds she began to sing so excitedly in appreciation of the amazing offer.
Life-Line hospital management had offset fifty percent of the bill in support of the Umazi family. This explains Umazi and Abegi’s action. Abegi had barely finished singing when Umazi’s phone took over the airspace with a stale tune. Idemudia was at the other end of the voice exchange.
“Hello.” - Umazi instantly recognized the caller.
“My precious friend! How are you?” Umazi screamed.
“So well my brother. You have been out of reach for a while.”
“You are right Idemudia – I have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise, please go ahead and release the bird in your pocket.”
Umazi laughed.
“Umazi, don’t increase my blood pressure. Please go on.”
“Alright Idemudia – I am now a proud father of triplets.”
“Oh my God! You don’t mean it. When did it happen?”
“Less than thirty hours ago.” Umazi replied.
“Great! Where are you now?”
“Life-Line Hospital of course.”
“I cannot wait to get there.”
“Ah If you must meet us, you would need to fly or else we might be back home before you reach here.”
“Umazi, you must wait for me. I should be there in ten minutes.”
“That’s reasonable, you’ll surely meet us. We had planned to be out of here in about forty minutes.”
As promised, Idemudia arrived at Life-Line hospital about eight minutes after his call and characteristically appeared unaided to the maternity ward. He enquired from the nurses and was soon united with Umazi’s family. He immediately engaged the couple in a discussion.
“Daddy triplet, congratulations this is the news of the century.” Idemudia opined.
“You are welcome my friend.”
“Hello Mummy triplet, congratulations. How are you doing?”
“So well sir, thanks for coming over. You are now on the record sheet as the first family friend to visit us after the birth of our triplets.”
Idemudia laughed.
“No one is expected to beat me to it as your husband’s closest ally.”
“You are right sir.” Abegi replied.
“The triplets are looking so robust and vibrant.” Idemudia opined.
“My brother you are absolutely right.” Umazi remarked.
“I guess you have two boys and a girl.”
“You are right. That’s a great one.” Umazi replied.
Idemudia carefully observed the physical attributes of the triplets and promptly decided to make further comments –
“Oh boy, Umazi, the boys look exactly like you and the girl is a perfect copy of your wife.”
“Idemudia, you are right again. We are certainly on the same page.” Umazi replied.
A moment later as directed, Umazi handed over a cheque to the maternity accounts clerk – Mr. Oloilo who promptly issued a receipt. Umazi soon proceeded to his wife’s bedside where Idemudia assisted him with some stuff. Umazi thereafter handed over the duplicate copy of the receipt to the principal nurse on duty. As expected, she promptly issued a go-ahead receipt for Abegi’s discharge. Idemudia assisted the Umazi’s on the discharge process before they exited the hospital.
Umazi made a joyful sound of accomplishment while he drove into his residence in less than thirty minutes after leaving the hospital. He was accompanied by Idemudia who had trailed him from behind. The trees in his compound provided the necessary shade that prevented the scourging sun from having a direct hit on the fragile new additions to the Umazi home.
Thereafter, Idemudia characteristically spent an hour with the Umazi family before returning to work. He was the proud owner of a furniture company situated at the entrance of Alaba Street. The Umazis pass through Idemudia’s company each time they drive out of their home. This was the major reason why their friendship had been akin to the one between two extinct matured opposite sex Gorillas who live in same neighbourhood.
CHAPTER FOUR
Maxi Obinna and his household are oblivious of the current status of the Umazis. After breakfast, Maxi dropped off Obinna Junior at school and his wife at Life-Line hospital before heading to Triple Bongo Limited on Stone Street. He was already on his desk ten minutes before resumption time. As usual, he perused the myriad of files on his table before drawing out a schedule for the day’s work. Mr. Nsofor the managing director had travelled out of the country on vacation and would be away for a month. Each time he had gone on vacation he had consistently ensured that he combed the best supermarkets in London for updates on the business.
Fortunately, while frolicking round some supermarkets, the thought of returning to Nigeria without a souvenir for Maxi Obinna had always been on the front burner in the “kitchen” of his heart. This is the major reason why Maxi Obinna had always looked forward to Mr. Nsofor’s annual vacation in London. Aside from this, Maxi Obinna enjoyed being at the helm of affairs at Triple Bongo Limited. Also, the fact that no one was available to oversee him and issue him a query is enough for him to appreciate life at the mountain top.
As Maxi remembered the considerably reduced debt profile of Triple Bongo Limited, he resolved in his heart to liquidate it before the return of the managing director. He promptly summoned a sales management meeting with all staff of the retail department with a view to achieving his objective. At the end of their deliberations, the sales team left his office with targets so conspicuously tied to their fragile necks. However, he left them with a caveat that was strong enough to propel performance. He had approved incentives for all those who achieved a hundred percent of their targets. The enthusiasm written on the face of the team was beyond measure. Soon, everyone had set out for work and Triple Bongo Limited commenced a new life with the ebullient Maxi Obinna acting as the substantive managing director.
At twelve o’clock, Mr. Otoide, a very handsome and tall personality stylishly strolled into the supermarket when Maxi Obinna was on his way out to a nearby eatery and as soon as he sighted Maxi, he screamed so loudly –
“Maxi Maxitus.”
This was Maxi Obinna’s nickname while at high school. Everyone at the supermarket who heard Otoide’s voice rushed out as a result of curiosity. The bemused Maxi Obinna tried so hard to add one plus one together but could not arrive at the answer until he suddenly remembered the familiar voice and he instantly recalled Otoide’s nickname. Maxi’s outburst was like that of a mother who had just sighted her lost baby.
“Otolotolo the great!”
“My man how are you doing?” Otoide asked.
“Great!”
“It’s been quite a while.” Otoide remarked.
“That’s true I suppose you traveled to London after high school.”
“You are right Maxitus but I’m back now.” Otoide answered.
“This is interesting. You don’t mean it.” Maxi Obinna remarked.
‘It’s real my friend.” Otoide answered and probed further.
“You appear to be on your way out. You probably could not find what you want here.”
“No – I am actually on my way to pick up my favourite snack at a nearby eatery. I actually work here.”
“O my God that’s great to know.” Otoide remarked and made a suggestion.
“Let me come along with you. We certainly have a lot to catch up with.”
“You are right ‘the great.”
Otoide left his posh car for Maxi Obinna’s car and within a short while they became proud owners of some packs of Pizza. They soon returned to Maxi’s office and engaged themselves with the snacks. As expected, Maxi generously provided chilled drinks from his fridge to aid in the dispatch of the stomach friendly meal.
While the enjoyment was ongoing, they began to dig into their past and present. Otoide informed Maxi of his parent’s refusal to return to Nigeria because of infrastructural deficiencies.
At the end of their fruitful discussions, Otoide picked some stuff at Triple Bongo Limited at Maxi Obinna’s expense and while on his way out, he expressed his heart-felt appreciation for Maxi Obinna’s hospitality. Soon, he was standing by his car while his apparently surprised friend on sighting the car, opened his mouth so widely in disbelief.
“Do you own this car?” Maxi asked.
“Don’t mind me Maxitus. I obtained it from my dad.”
“How do you mean?” Maxi enquired.
“I convinced him to allow the car to represent him in Nigeria since he had refused to return home. As expected, my old man smiled so hilariously while my mum also joined in the pleasant show of old dentition and before you shout Otolotolo a third time, I became the proud owner of the car.”
Maxi Obinna could not help himself out - he had laughed in strange tongues and at the end of the season of laughter, Maxi Obinna remarked.
“I am not surprised – you remember, the word great had been so attached to your nickname - you certainly have a way of getting whatsoever you want in a peaceful manner.”
Otoide smiled and soon hauled himself into the car before they exchanged complimentary cards signaling the end of discussions. Shortly after, Otoide disappeared into the busy road.
The visibly happy Maxi returned to his bit and soon began to wonder about how Otoide would influence him. He knew that Otoide was so good at influencing people. In fact, he could convince a lion to eat grasshoppers. He also appreciated the fact that he was the acting managing director otherwise he reasoned that the events of the recent past would have played out differently if Mr. Nsofor had been at his desk.
*
Towards the close of work, the sales team began to trickle into Triple Bongo and as soon as they had matched in, they went directly to Maxi Obinna’s office where they gave reports of their outing. Some achieved their targets while others were still working at it.
At the close of work, Maxi Obinna returned home to meet his wife. Unfortunately, Obinna Junior had been forced into a pit by malaria parasites. He had returned from school in a feverish condition and Ifeoma had administered anti-malarial drugs on him. The drugs had kicked him off painfully into the hands of the waiting bed.
Meanwhile, in the absence of Obinna Junior, Maxi Obinna decided to unwind the day’s activity at Triple Bongo Limited. He happily notified Ifeoma of his chance meeting with Otoide – an old high school mate. He asked Ifeoma to braze up for an impending change because Otoide had always been a master of influence.
At half past seven in the late evening, Idemudia drove into Maxi Obinna’s residence and graciously announced the latest news – Umazi’s triplets. Maxi Obinna was so elated to the extent that he could not dam the river of joy. He instantly dashed into Junior’s room to share the news. A moment later, a highly hysterical Obinna Junior erupted from bed like an animal escaping from captivity. He soon abandoned his father and joined Idemudia and Ifeoma in the living room. The visibly excited Maxi promptly ran after him.
“Obinna, you are supposed to be in bed!” Ifeoma exclaimed.
“His sickness has become secondary my dear. You know he is so fond of Umazi and Abegi.” Maxi remarked.”
“You are right but I suggest he goes back to bed as soon as possible. We need to observe his progress to ascertain whether he can make it to school tomorrow.” Ifeoma advised.
“The Obinna I am seeing at the moment has out-run malaria.” Idemudia opined.
Idemudia continued with his story after the strange interruption by Obinna Junior.
The triplets and their mother are already at home after a very short stint at Life-Line hospital.
“You don’t mean it.” Maxi Obinna exclaimed and continued.
“I am not surprised at their stroke of luck. They were here yesterday night and I remember we ate pounded yam and vegetable soup with a rich blend of fish, cow skin and beef.”
“I call it the last supper that prepared the triplets for the journey away from captivity.” Ifeoma concluded.”
“Ifeoma you are so funny.” Idemudia opined.
“She is right my friend. It’s a thing of joy for anyone to present a gift to such bundles of joy.” Maxi opined and continued.
“I envy Umazi but on a second thought, taking care of a baby is no doubt cumbersome - I am beginning to imagine how Umazi and Abegi would be able to cope with the daunting challenges of caring for three fragile and innocent mouths.”
Ifeoma soon took over the mantle of leadership by explaining the nitty-gritty of the task ahead. She shed more light on the possibility of the three babies crying at the same time, defecating at the same time, sick at the same time and lots more. She said such children are a bunch of jealous lot. Whatever is given to one must be given to others - if you carry one, the other two will cry for attention.
Ifeoma concluded by saying -
“I honestly don’t envy the Umazi’s because it is going to be a headache-filled experience. However, Abegi has no other choice but to solicit for her mother’s assistance otherwise it would be easier for a monkey to successfully swim across the Atlantic Ocean than for Abegi to care for the triplets alone.”
“Never mind my dear I am sure Umazi will have something on his sleeves. He can handle the situation. Remember he is an established socialite.” Maxi Obinna opined.
“The challenge at hand is more than being a socialite. He needs to get capable hands to assist Abegi at home otherwise peace will escape from that home. You cannot build your house on a rock and expect to harvest fruits from the same rock.” Ifeoma remarked.
“Ifeoma, I wonder who gave you such wisdom. You are beginning to sound like a philosopher.” Maxi remarked.
“You are right Maxi. Your wife is now an honorary professor of philosophy.” Idemudia jokes.
Ifeoma and Maxi laughed so hilariously and within a few seconds Obinna junior joined his parents in the game of laughter.
After a short while, Idemudia made his way out thirty minutes after his arrival. He had succeeded in setting the Maxi Obinna’s household on a harmless laughter-fire. Soon, the shouts of good night occupied the atmosphere.
As Idemudia drove through Keys Lane, he remembered he needed to return to his office to collect a surprise gift he had bought for Aituaje, his amiable wife.
Idemudia had been desirous of a child after four years of marriage. Fortunately, despite this setback, Aituaje and Idemudia had been a very good example of an ideal couple. They had never been involved in any major quarrel since their courtship days. Idemudia had met Aituaje at the Commundiale University – A renowned university. Aituaje could be described as a spoilt child while on campus. Idemudia’s influence had changed her story.
Being an only child of the renowned professor and Professor Mrs. Eboseremen positioned Aituaje for an easy life. She was given virtually everything she requested while growing up. She does not tolerate being turned down and had a notorious penchant for crying whenever anyone scolded her.
Idemudia at that time, a student of wood engineering was so respectful, hard-working and unassuming. As a result of these attributes - when Aituaje introduced him to her parents, they had welcomed him with open arms. Professor and Professor Mrs. Eboseremen were so delighted to see their only child in courtship with a great and thorough breed like Idemudia.
Idemudia’s resilience and hard work paid off sooner than expected. After graduation, he proceeded for the compulsory national service and at the end of the service Aituaje’s parents assisted him with thirty percent of the capital he had used to set up his furniture factory.
The company has made very significant inroads into the furnishing business both in its environment and beyond. Idemudia had also built a bungalow on Patiti Street adjacent Alaba Street.
As scheduled, Idemudia dropped by his office and instantly made his way to obtain the gift and in less than five minutes, he had run into the waiting arms of Aituaje who had already prepared a sumptuous dinner for two.
While having dinner, Aituaje requested to come along with Idemudia the next evening to visit the Umazis. She had not been privileged to see the triplets. Her request was pleasantly received by Idemudia and was so delighted to instantly grant her request. He had initially thought Aituaje may not be eager to accompany him to the Umazis because of their predicament – four years of marriage without a child. He had instinctively reasoned that Aituaje may become depressed.
Aituaje could not hide her feelings at the news of her husband’s approval. At this point, Idemudia stylishly went outside the house en route the car trunk to silently recover the gift he had deliberately left behind in the car. He reappeared in the living room just in time to give the gift to Aituaje as a commemoration of the second anniversary of their owning a house.
As soon as Aituaje received the gift, she screamed so loudly causing butterflies on the nearby orange tree to temporarily converge at a window pane by the living room. A moment later, a visibly shocked Idemudia suddenly noticed a stream of tears flowing unhindered from its source on Aituaje’s face.
“Darling what is happening to you?” Idemudia enquired.
Aituaje did not respond to Idemudia’s inquiry. Soon, Idemudia became more bewildered when he noticed the outflow of more tears that had begun to divide into tributaries and finally emptied their content on him. He became more bemused when Aituaje suddenly transformed into an automatic laughing machine.
“I don’t understand this drama. Can someone help me out?” Idemudia asked.
“Honey, all is well.” Aituaje remarked.
Idemudia whose heart was already standing on his teeth a moment before soon began to transfer it to his chest where it belonged. The smiling Aituaje soon embraced Idemudia and decided to call the lion by its name.
“Darling, I am pregnant.”
Idemudia tapped his chest to be sure he was not day-dreaming. He instantly embraced his wife so tightly and soon began to lift her up en route the bedroom. As soon as he reached his destination, he dropped her on the bed so gently as if she was an egg. He soon switched on the air-conditioner and made his way through the barrage of newspapers that align the walkway to get a bottle of chilled wine. He soon reunited with Aituaje and handed over an already filled glass cup signaling the commencement of the double celebration.
“Honey, you have not asked questions.” Aituaje observed.
“Darling, I know you so well – questions can wait.” Idemudia answered.
Aituaje suddenly began to laugh so hilariously - this prompted Idemudia who now began to sing his favourite Nigerian/Esan (Ishan) song -
Ose mudia mhen
Ole zele ofen ye mu mhen
Jesu nose mudia ni mhen fo
Oha mudia nor orhia oye de
Oide oide
Onose mudia na oide
Oide oide
Onose mudia na oide…
Aituaje instantly joined him and began to dance like a cockroach that had succeeded in escaping from the cruel jaws of a cock. A moment later, Idemudia made it a collaborative dance and despite the cool breeze emanating from the air-conditioner, they began to sweat so profusely after bouts of vigorous manipulation of body parts in systemic rhythm.
After the rhythmical session, Aituaje informed Idemudia that she had visited Life-Line hospital in the morning soon after Idemudia left for work and after a confirmation test, her suspicion was duly confirmed and ratified – she had been pregnant for four weeks.
CHAPTER FIVE
As Maxi Obinna prepared for work he reminded Ifeoma who was on the breakfast table to prepare for a family visit at the close of work to Umazi’s residence. Obinna Junior was already on the walkway leading to the living room and as soon as he overheard his dad, he exclaimed.
“Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!”
The bewildered Maxi Obinna was so surprised at his son’s outburst and was forced to make a funny response.
“I never knew a wild cat lives with us.”
Ifeoma who initially could not hide her joy soon engaged the reverse gear by openly rebuking her husband.
“I never knew you were capable of giving birth to a cat.”
Maxi Obinna, who had never been short of words rose up from his seat to add more words.
“I never knew that I was on the breakfast table with mummy cat.”
The family soon burst out laughing so hysterically until Obinna Junior reminded his parents of the need to get out of the table in time.
“Oh, you are right Obinna we are already running late.” Maxi opined.
While on their way, Obinna could not bag his joy. He informed his parents of his desire to hurry home after school so as to enable him complete his school assignment before their outing. Ifeoma also added her voice - she informed her husband that she had planned to visit the grocery stores and supermarkets after the close of work but the Umazi visit was too jealous to spare her such luxury.
Maxi Obinna also chipped in his contribution.
“It appears that you guys have won a jackpot. I am beginning to believe that Umazi and Abegi had arranged for a bullion van filled with local currencies as gifts for you guys.”
Ifeoma and Obinna Junior looked at Maxi and simultaneously began to wonder aloud.
“We never knew Maxi Obinna could grow to become as hilarious as this.”
Soon afterwards Maxi dropped off Obinna and Ifeoma at their destinations before proceeding to Triple Bongo Limited. His presence at work elicited a convoy of greetings so engineered to the extent that it became a ringing tone.
“Good morning sir! Good morning sir! …”
Before he could respond to the first greetings, another volley of greetings soon turned him into an instant celebrity.
A moment later, the truth turned up on his desk. He soon realized that he had an august visitor waiting for him almost at gunpoint in the office – it was payday – he needed to sign the salary cheque because everyone expected their salary. The momentary demonstration by a convoy and volley of good mornings was merely to kick-start the salary race. As soon as the playback button returned to its original state, Maxi’s laughter had become monotonous before he decided to pull the bull by its horn – he called for sales and departmental heads meeting. A short while after the meeting, he asked the General accountant to hold on for a while and at the end of their conversation, he appended his signature to the salary cheque and a moment later, the visibly elated General accountant walked away like a triumphant peacock.
Soon, every staff member at Triple Bongo Limited began to put on the joy mask so adorned in diverse colours. The sales team was not left out. Majority of them who had achieved their target were found loitering around Maxi Obinna’s office with multiple joy masks. Some were wearing masks on two sides of their body – face and abdomen. The mask worn on the abdomen signifies retirement to nearby eatery at the close of work to celebrate the huge harvest. At every little provocation, they generously showcased their teeth. Maxi Obinna was not left out. His cheque was bigger than usual. Mr. Nsofor had called him on the phone a moment before to inform him of a salary increase as a fall-out of the debt recovery. Maxi had summoned the General accountant and directed him to immediately comply with the wage increase.
At the close of work, Maxi shared the good news at home and a visibly elated Ifeoma and Obinna Junior acted in unison by issuing a joint statement.
“More sugar in our tea.”
A short while later the family was pleasantly dressed for the outing to Umazi’s residence. While on their way, Ifeoma made a request characteristic of a wife who had been offered a blank cheque. She stylishly asked Maxi a question that had occupied her heart for a long time.
“Maxi, why can’t you relieve yourself of the burden of dropping Obinna and myself off every morning before proceeding to Triple Bongo Limited?”
Maxi became lost in transit. He had failed to unravel the coded question. He soon began to wonder aloud and in an attempt to get a clue he frantically searched Ifeoma’s face but unfortunately, a visibly shocked Ifeoma proceeded by asking a rather irritating question.
“Maxi, did you drink alcohol at work?”
The second question elicited a remark from Obinna Junior before his Dad interjected.
“Mum, my dad does not take alcohol.”
“Ifeoma, how could you make such an irritating statement?”
Ifeoma began to laugh before she decided to release the bird inside her pocket.
“Maxi, I asked whether you had drunk alcohol in your office because I expected you to have understood the logic behind the first question. Relieving you of the responsibility of dropping us at work and school every work-day simply implies that you needed to pay another visit to a car dealer for my sake.”
“Oh my God!” Maxi exclaimed.
“Ifeoma, you are asking for a car gift.” Maxi continued.
“Yes Maxi. Don’t you think I deserve it as the amiable wife of the acting managing director of a blue chip supermarket holding?”
As expected, Obinna Junior instantly decided to enter into his mother’s shoes.
“Yes dad. I’ll be so delighted to have mum drop me off at school. Most of my classmates come to school in their mother’s car.”
Maxi Obinna decided to ask a question.
“Okay guys. Are you ready to tighten your belts?”
“Dad, how do you mean?” Obinna Junior asked.
“Buying another car will certainly require savings.” Maxi opined.
“Maxi, that shouldn’t be a problem. All you need to do is simple. Dedicate your salary increase for the car project.” Ifeoma opined.
“Oh I see. I can now understand the reason why some men do not inform their spouse about salary increase. Their wives soon take it off them just like you’ve attempted – mother and son.” Maxi opined.”
“Maxi, you know we are headed for the Umazi’s residence. We are not supposed to wear a mournful look. All you needed to do was to approve my request.” Ifeoma concluded.
“Okay, I have a better idea.” Maxi continued.
Ifeoma and Obinna Junior soon focused their eyes on Maxi’s face.
“Please release the bird.” Ifeoma continued.
“Okay Ifeoma. I’ll buy another car for myself and transfer this wonderful car to you.” Maxi concluded.
