The people who looked down on me helped me to smile E-Book

Andre Stewart

• Herausgeber: Spines
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

Jah you know that I try to be a good man. I can fall short in so many ways when I’m trying not to. In this book, The people who looked down on me helped me to smile describes a journey that aims to search for this thing called a peace of mind. It’s written poetically with themes of happiness, sadness, regret, motivation, determination, family, courage, love and ignorance. An ignorance to many things in life that we might not even appreciate that actually helps our wellbeing. This book is precise and gets straight to the point in terms of the emotions to the concept being discussed. There are words that will hurt and words that will help. The author asks internal questions that are a part of the journey to a peace of mind and through it all the reminder to try and be consistent prevails. It’s not that people look down on you, that will always happen. However, through it all let’s try to stay positive.

Leseprobe

Andre Stewart

The People Who Looked Down On Me Helped Me To Smile

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2023 by Andre Stewart

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Published by BooxAi

ISBN: 978-965-578-756-6

The People Who Looked Down On Me Helped Me To Smile

Andre Stewart

Contents

Who is without sin?

Just one of those days?

Can’t give up

Excuse my uneasy peace of mind.

Duppy

Yes sah

Don’t kill my vibe

I'm your hero?

Fear?

The art of destruction?

Not perfect

You're my hero dad

To you my mother

To my kids

Better must come

Everyday above ground.

Pray

Give me a chance

I wanna make you a better woman.

Downtown Kingston

Even when it ain’t sunny.

Who is without sin?

Sarah holds in nothing; she talks about everything. I swear he was gonna hit her. He raised his hand like he would. I saw it and gasped out loud like a scene in a dramatic movie. Doesn't he know that Mr. Jones will punish him again? I thought to myself and right when you'd think his fist was going to connect to her face it just dropped. The way that it did, it reminded me of a bird falling from the sky rapidly after being shot. It fell to his side, and she smiled. However, it wasn't of any good as it was really of bad intentions, and I could tell. My uncle Mr. Jones favors his little daughter and I know sometimes that he buys into her stories more than her brother's. She is the apple of her father's eye. The obvious favorite but he would disagree if you asked him. I don't live here, but I am not a stranger. Sometimes living in a house, I could see where I would be like a stranger to someone who's not used to having me around regardless of being family or not. That's just how life is. However, Sarah runs to tell my uncle everything even when it isn't a big deal. Mr. Jones buys apple and orange juices for the house, and I have some then when he comes home, she runs to tell him that I drank some of the juice. Obviously, he says nothing because at the end of the day in reality it isn't a big deal. To 6-year-old Sarah it is. I don't like her just to make that clear and if that sounds a little too harsh, she may be improving at having a better personality and I don't want to be around her to find out. Whichever one sounds best to you. Her brother is far different though. As a matter of fact, sometimes I can't believe that the two are related. Caleb is a chill 10-year-old dude. If I had a choice, I would rather take money being his guardian for the time and not have to deal with Sarah. I keep telling myself it's because she's 6 years old. However, I remember that some people have been miserable, mischievous and manipulative as kids and they are still that way as adults. Promiscuous, poor parents and prideful. Some things just never change. Then I think to myself that Sarah may never change and that she will be just like that forever even as an adult and for the next 6 months that I'm in New York I'll have to deal with her. That scares me but deep down a part of me feels like I might be overreacting. Caleb balances things out. He takes up small responsibilities in the house, doesn't misbehave or acts like a menace. He is basically what you'd consider a good kid to be. The thing is he acts as if he's too grown for his age and if you ask me, I wouldn't say that it's necessarily a bad thing because he doesn't go about it in a disrespectful way. He knows how to keep a conversation going and can add to it. In my opinion, I think he's smart, his academic consistency supports that belief and I'm impressed that in his spare time he chooses to read the books his father owns in the study. Sometimes you'll forget that the boy is even in the house. I don't remember being this way at 10 years old, I was a straight up menace, however, if he sticks to what he is doing now and applies himself, I think that in the next 10 to 15 years he will find himself at a really good place in life that a young man would want to be in. However, his sister pulls him out of his natural element far too often and I think the real reason I get paid to be their guardian when my uncle is not around is to keep one away from the other but still have them spend time together as siblings. It's like a mountain you climb that has occasional good views, but for a part of the ascension you are drenched in rainwater.  

As good of a kid as he is, Caleb will fight you if you push his buttons just enough.

 As smart as he is, he hasn't figured out how to hold his anger in for too long. His father is the same way I might add. However, Caleb will try his best though his temperament absorbs bad energy too quickly. When he cools down, we talk, and I'm not surprised that he understands and comprehends the perspective I try to show him. One day I gave him a little exercise to do. I made him walk around the house both upstairs, downstairs and outside holding an egg cuffed safely in between both of his palms.

"Walk slowly," I said to him, and he listened, with obvious curiosity pacing back and forth throughout his mind. I could see. He went up the stairs, downstairs, in the garage, on the porch and in the backyard again where I sat waiting for him carefully holding the egg. We took out the egg tray.

"Why did I have to do that?" He asked. 

"Think of yourself as an egg," I said to him, 

"Going about life like you did walk around the house carefully guarding your peace of mind. If you rushed or someone made you feel worked up, you'd lose concentration, and the egg would fall and break. No matter who it is, never let someone steal your joy to the point where you crack and break then do something stupid. It's not worth it." I said to him, I imagine saying the same thing to my kids one day and the type of dad I'd become. It ran through my mind in that split second.

I remember one day I took my cousins for a walk in the park, just to get out of the house because it was very much a nice sunny day outside. It was an enjoyable experience for a little bit but then Sarah yanked on Caleb's tail again. They were on the swings, and I don't know what Sarah said to him because even afterwards neither of them would say, but I suspect it wasn't something he wanted to hear her say. I was sitting on the bench watching them when it happened then out of nowhere, I heard him yell at her to stop. She laughed in his face then he got off his swing, pushed her out of the one that she was in and gave her one big punch in the eye. I got up immediately, surprised and furious at the fact he did that. I ran over to them, pulled him off her and with his skinny figure he fell easily onto the grass. 

Hey! I shouted.