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- Herausgeber: Ricardo Tronconi
- Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015
Professor Swollenman, the most erect man in the neighbourhood, has quite a visible gift in his lap. A winning feature in theory, but...
Who says that erotic novels don't make room for time travelling?
Seriously involved with his conjugal obligations, in the second half of the last century, an unknown writer unexpectedly finds himself copulating with a wonderful, Indian, curry flavoured woman...
The theft of a very precious musical instrument, a violin belonging to an indecipherable Maharajah and charged with an intensely sensual sound, is silenced by the seriousness of some Italian historical events in the seventies and soon forgotten...
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Ricardo Tronconi
The Soul Quantum Theory and other Novels
Cover image derived from Gianmaria Zanotti's photo under the CC BY 2.0 license. This file is licensed under the CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 license.
Table of Contents
THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY
THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
SATANIC APPENDIX
THE MAHARAJAH'S VIOLIN
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
THE INDESCREET CREASES OF SPACE
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY
AND OTHER NOVELS
Text translation by Alessia Bettini
Linguistic advice by Leslie Rabinowitz
THE SOUL QUANTUM THEORY
OR WE ARE THE DEVIL
Original image Mahpadilha / CC BY 2.0. New image CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.
CHAPTER 1
In the second half of the last century, a theory as bizarre as it was attractive (and subtly quite exciting), brought the world of liberal, mystic thought close to breaking away from the monotheistic, religious universe. The reason for this discussion wasn't anything new and it regarded mainly Lucifer's choice, wicked for some, intrepid for others, to become the bearer of darkness after having once been the most luminous diamond of all knowledge, second only compared to God, when the Universe didn't yet exist. To disturb the quiet ignorance of the believers, who didn't see a semblance of evil in Satan, but rather evil itself, clearly defined and separate from good, again represented by the other winged beings led by Gabriel, was emeritus Professor Odoro E. Swollenman.
This last, distinguished philologist, semiologist and expert in sexual semantics, reprimanded by the University Chancellor on more than one occasion for the course's male students continuous complaints (never the females), was famous for presenting a permanent swelling of his fly during sexual semantics lessons (and not only then). A definite sign, according to the male students, of a swelling that revealed a penchant for the subject, yes, but improperly and slightly narcisistic. On the contrary, according to the females, the involuntarily sustainable movement of the penis could be considered by any male (and female), as feasible users of the afore-mentioned device, as a traffic light (that is a signal bearer), allowing one to pass beyond the sole sense of smell in perceiving slight deviances in an individual's sexual behaviour. The extremely clear Professor, sexually very gifted, in spite of being an erect man, was also definitely sensitive to female charm, so as to be called easy swelling man (this last, just one of many epithets we cannot fully mention because of restricted space). Approximately after his fiftieth birthday the emeritus Professor Swollenman (permanent swelling man) began to have his first revealing dreams about the real aim of human beings and granted this theological knowledge to become his lifelong occupation.
CHAPTER 2
It all began one morning, when Professor Swollenman (palpable swelling man)woke up with an erected pole (not an exception, but rather customary). However that morning, the nest that little animal wished for wasn't available, as it was at Ladoga Lake on holiday, tightly embedded in Mrs Netty Swollenman's thighs (this was not a significant piece of news, rather pretty normal). Odoro immediately realized that mere masturbation wouldn't be good for him at all, nor would spiritual exercises. So he prepared a glass, added some ice cubes and with no hesitation plunged his blood swollen penis in it, which expecting to find a warm, safe and humid place, collapsed and imploded. Once that matter was solved, Swollenman (honest swelling man) went back to bed and dreamt of making love to an Eskimo with a smooth anus, curiously ice-cold.
Waking up, Odoro asked himself, just as anyone else dedicated to semiology and semantics would have done, whether his dream was a sign of the poor sexual life he had been living for a long time, or whether the ice associated with the Eskimo's anal sphincter represented the possibly senseless management of his wealth by a bank which had already shown an indication of total disinterest in the money he had put aside with effort. A bit worried, he phoned his wife and told her what had happened. Once informed of those facts, Netty reassured Odoro telling him not to bother too much and to get ready, warm and humid, for her prompt return. Furthermore, she suggested that he go to church and talk to a Professor, because in her opinion the exasperated enlightenment that set his heart on fire, was undermining his integrity too, and this was bound to have negative repercussions on every aspect of life, even if only minor. Odoro agreed to go to confession at once, and that same day he went to church to talk to a priest. There he saw Gabriel and Lucifer's effigies for the first time, one the messenger of good tales, the other one of gloomy premonitions.
CHAPTER 3
After talking to the priest for hours, Professor Swollenman (simple swelling man) went back to Nice Little House, the suburb where he lived with his wife. Once inside, much to his amazement, he found Netty, having just returned from Ladoga lake, tidying up the mess he had made in the course of those few bachelor days. Netty and Odoro hadn't seen each other for three weeks and abstinence was a liable spark for igniting the sex fuse. It was well-known (especially among the female students, but the males too) that Professor Swollenman (endless swelling man) was intensely extraordinarily climax-resistant, and so it was this time, notwithstanding the long fast, he was able to honourably merit the fellatio Netty had reserved as the last course of that long meal. While she was offering him that final dish, Odoro began to tell her what had happened during her absence. When his tale finally reached the point of the conversation with the priest, Swollenman (manifest swelling man) admitted that what had struck him most in the church were pictures of Archangel Gabriel and of Lucifer, which in his opinion had been talking.
“Peculiar indeed...” replied the beautiful, well-proportioned, curvaceous and colourful Netty, interruping what she had been doing, “Really I don't remember such an icon in the church. But it's possible you saw two different images and merged them into one sole imaginary picture. Gabriel is usually the one who foretells, with Lucifer the fallen angel, bowed under Michael's triumphant foot.”
“Yes, Netty. It's possible. But I am highly convinced they wanted to reveal something to me. Something in particular.”
“And something unknown too, I suppose... Is that correct, Odoro? You intellectuals are often misled by the thought of publishing things never before seen nor heard. I'll bet you are thinking about bringing Eden back to life. Right?”
“No, Netty. Don't joke... Perhaps you're right. I'd better sleep on it.”
And after the last course of that long meal, they went to bed.
