Almost Love E-Book

Chiara F. Citterio

• Herausgeber: The Orlando Books
• Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Seitenzahl: 201

Beschreibung

I'm Emma, I'm sixteen years old, and I'm pregnant. I still can't believe it, but the test and the morning sickness don't lie. A single reckless night and now I'm in a giant mess. I lost my virginity to my best friend, Nate, and my life was changed forever. But what could be better than travelling across the globe to find some peace of mind? Well, maybe it wasn't the best idea. Because when I arrived in Los Angeles, I met him. Theo. The sexiest, most unpredictable and perplexing boy on Earth. Pregnant with someone's baby, in love with somebody else. Nothing could be more complicated… right?

Leseprobe

CEO: Marcela Citterio

Edited by: Verónica Chamorro

Translate by: Eugenia Forcher

Copyedit by: Alicia Rose Amende

Designed by: Valeria Miguel Villar

Cover ilustration by: Ana Monticelli

Author's photograph: Luis Zabrana

Epub production: Libresque

© Chiara Francia Citterio, 2022

© The Orlando Books, 2022

www.theorlandobooks.com

Paperback ISBN: 978-987-48545-9-9ISBN 978-987-48545-3-7

All rights of reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

For my Lala

“She was everything by turns but tranquil.” (Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility)

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CHAPTER 1Teen Mum

Positive.

Shite. Make one mistake and you end up with a baby. They say you can’t become pregnant the first time you have sex, but that’s bollocks.

I lost my virginity a month ago, and here I am: with an embryo inside my belly.

That day, I was with my friends. We were drinking, having fun. And there he was: Nate, my best friend. The one I’m in love with, but never gathered up the courage to tell him.

That night, we both drank too much. It was an instant. We looked at each other in a way we had never done before, the accidental touches burning us inside. We didn’t need any words. When I was about to leave, I went to his room to get my things. He appeared, grabbed me by the waist and whispered in my ear: Stay.

I froze. Nate started kissing my neck and I turned around, our lips almost together. We stared at each other and I lost my mind. I let go. We lay down on his bed, the same bed where we’d watched Friends so many times, where I’d looked after him when he’d had chickenpox, where I’d spent a sleepless night because he was having fever hallucinations. That same bed. And, without thinking about it, we undressed each other like crazy. I don’t remember when we fell asleep.

And that was my first time. No condom. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Not only for the baby, of course, but also because when I opened my eyes, he was staring at me. I thought he was going to say I love you, but he said I’m sorry instead.

Just like that, without any warning. And then it got worse: “If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have done it.”

How romantic, I’m thinking right now. Why don’t you tell that to the baby that is growing inside of me?

Fortunately, tomorrow I will be leaving London, my home town. I’ll spend the summer in Los Angeles. I’ll stay away from Nate. I won’t tell him until I’m 8750 km from him.

I feel nauseous.

Please, not again. I throw up one more time.

What a beautiful day to die!

I wash my face and try to tame my jet black hair. I think it has a life of its own. A little humidity and I look like a hot air balloon.

I go downstairs to gobble up some Nutella. I have a terrible headache. My mum’s not at home, luckily.

MUM. How am I going to tell her I’m pregnant?

It would be suicidal to say anything now and ruin her trip. I’ll just wait until the baby bump shows. That gives me three, four, or even five more months, with any luck.

So… Do I carry on with the pregnancy? The other choice would be having an abortion. I could go alone, or ask my friend Bella to join me. Mum would never find out! But I don’t like the idea of aborting. I don’t know why. I don’t think it’s wrong, I’m just not sure I feel like doing it.

I tell myself that I have time to think about that. Ten weeks, at least. If I regret it, I can always have an abortion in the USA.

I never thought this would happen to me. I always believed I was a responsible girl.

Nice way to find out I’m not, right? I could have taken the morning-after pill, I know, but I didn’t. I was naive and thought it wouldn’t happen to me. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

What am I thinking? I can’t have a child, I’m only seventeen! I want to finish my A Levels and study Medicine. But, who said I couldn’t do it with a baby?

I think the best option here is having a giant chocolate milkshake and making a list of pros and cons.

What am I thinking?

I’m talking about a baby! I can’t treat it like I’m deciding on a professional career or the shopping list.

I feel so useless!

Mum could help me, but let’s say we are not at our best right now. Asking her for a favour makes my stomach hurt. Or is it morning sickness?

Suddenly, I feel my face wet. I’m crying. A lot. I can’t stop. These are not sad tears, these are desperate tears. My whole life is changing since what happened that night… The night we promised to forget.

Try that with a baby in the way.

Should I tell Nate? The answer is no. He couldn’t care less.

CHAPTER 2 The Last Happy Day

Ring, ring. The doorbell. A sound that always reminded me of freedom. Now, all I can think of is banging my head on the wall and waking up in another dimension.

My best friend Bella hugs me from behind. “I’m gonna miss you so, so, so much this summer.”

“Bella, please. I can’t breathe.”

She lets me go and her gaze is sad. Her green eyes, always full of life, look at me melancholically. I try to comfort her, but I’ve never been too good with words, so I make things worse. She is one of those girls that makes you wonder how can she be so pretty? Her hair is blonde and waist-length. And she is always smiling. Bella is beautiful without makeup or anything artificial. You’d think her playlists are full of boy bands, but she listens to hard rock.

I hug her. “Come on, Bella. Don’t cry. I’m not even gone and you are already a mess.” I pat her on the back. “You’ve got to be stronger. Or else you’ll be a sad blonde ant…”

She lets me go. “A sad blonde ant? What’s that supposed to mean?”

I’m about to answer, but Nate appears and lifts me up.

“Let me go!” I scream. If he doesn’t release me, I’ll throw up for sure.

“Nope,” he says as he puts me on his shoulder, “You’ll be in California all summer, so the least you can do is stay like this for a while. And don’t kick.”

“If you put me down, I’ll bring you those American chocolates you love so much.”

Nate is six foot one, blonde and almond-eyed. His jawline looks like sculpted marble, strong and square. He also has an unbelievable six-pack that matches his great sense of fashion. Utterly perfect. He plays football and a group of girls follows him wherever he goes. It should be obvious that being best friends, we would have fallen deeply in love with each other and professed our undying love in a very cheesy and romantic way. Well, no. He dates only human Barbies and I, with my five-six and nice but standard body, am not good enough. I guess wearing all black doesn’t help, either.

Nate puts me down and hugs me tightly. I can’t hate him. I’m really bad at hating him while his arms are around me and he tells me how much he’ll miss me. I just can’t. I’ve been in love with Nate as far as I can remember, but he isn’t. He was pretty clear after that night.

Suddenly, I get a text from Mum:

I am waiting for you at the door, darling. Be quick, or we could miss the flight.

“My dear friends, it’s time for my departure. Wish me luck… or you shall die.”

They both squeeze me and, at that moment, I feel like I’m about to cry. But I don’t. I’m a fucking iceberg.

I walk to Mum’s car and get in. I struggle to even look at her. I’m so mad about what she is doing to me. I roll the window down and wave to my friends. Nate is hugging a crying Bella. He also looks teary-eyed, but maybe it’s just my imagination.

I let out a sigh.

God, I’m going to miss them so much!

While I look out of the window, I think of myself. Now, my eyes are grey. They indeed change colour over time. They were sea blue once, but now it seems as if the tears wiped all colour away.

My dad died two years ago, and I still can’t get over it. I’ll never get over it. But Mum did. She’s a lawyer, and her job involves a lot of travel. During the last conference, she met a Hollywood producer and fell in love with him. Pretty quickly, I’d say. That’s why we are going to Los Angeles for the summer holidays.

Yay!

I’m being sarcastic. I hate Americans, and even more so their stupid beaches.

Not only will I have to spend the entire summer there and meet Mum’s boyfriend, but also his son.

Fun time, here we go!

CHAPTER 3Welcome to Hell

It’s 5 A.M. and Mum and I have been sitting here for two hours. We are waiting for Alexander, her boyfriend. It’s a shame he isn’t answering texts, phone calls, or anything. What a great way to kick off our relationship.

I look at Mum and notice that she can’t hide it: she’s nervous. She’s blonde, but not a natural blonde, of course. She loves her artificial gold. Yikes. We are complete opposites, except for the fact that both our hairs are bobs. The difference is that she goes to the most expensive hair salon, and I cut my hair at home. She’s always impeccably dressed. You’ll never see her with smudged makeup or looking scruffy. She is obsessive about everything, from her own house to her friend’s. When she is nervous, like she is right now, she scratches her hands till they bleed. A habit that, ahem, I inherited.

“Something must be wrong. He is not like this. We were talking for days about this holiday, how perfect we wanted everything to be…”

“Mum, you’ve already told me four times. Your alleged perfect boyfriend forgot we were coming today. That’s it.”

Mum glowers at me. However, at that exact moment, I see a man approaching and recognize him at once. I’ve never seen a picture. But I know it’s him.

“I’m so, so sorry for making you wait this long. My phone ran out of battery. And… I had a little problem with my son, Felix.”

“Don’t worry, Alex. I mean it.”

Ugh, gross. Mum offers him one of the smiles she used to give my dad. Noticing that makes me embarrassed and horrified.

Alexander helps us with our luggage and we follow him to his 4x4. Mum rides shotgun and, when I open the backseat door, I find two lads sitting there. The one with the red hair smiles at me. He must be Alexander’s son, I’m sure. They are like peas in a pod: tall, green eyes, red hair.

I sit next to him.

“Felix, Emma. Emma, Felix,” Alexander introduces us. He doesn’t mention the black-haired boy that is staring out of the window and he doesn’t acknowledge me.

Weird.

“And this is my friend, Theo,” Felix says, finally.

Theo turns slowly like he has no choice. And I’m suddenly out of breath. I smile at him, but he doesn’t smile back.

Idiot, but stunning. His hair is perfect: messy, but not too much. His blue eyes remind me of the sky on a hot but bearable Spring day. I hope he doesn’t have dimples. That’s my perfect man fantasy!

I try to look the other way, but I find it physically impossible. He is magnetic. I don’t know what’s wrong with me…

Alexander asks me some pointless and redundant questions, which I answer as plainly as I can. When he’s not asking me ridiculous things, he’s glaring at his son in the rearview mirror.

Felix whispers something to Theo and he laughs. Shite. Two dimples. Nothing good can come from this.

When we get to the house, I try to open the car door as fast as I can. I look at their house and can’t believe it. It’s a mansion! Alexander told me we are in Santa Monica. Exactly like the films.

They get out of the car too. Theo passes by my side without looking at me and gets inside the house. Felix, however, helps me with the luggage.

Alexander and Mum share a loved up look as they get out of the car.

Bastards.

“Felix, please show Emma her room,” his father says.

Felix nods and we go in. The house looks very pretty on the outside, but the interior is spectacular.

“Excuse me… Do you happen to have something chocolatey?” I ask. I can’t hide it anymore, I’m desperate for something sweet.

The redhead leaves me alone a few seconds and comes back with biscuits.

“Thanks.”

Felix starts walking again and I follow. He shows me the bathroom and, then, my room. I thank him for his help and he leaves. And I stay there in astonishment as I take a look around my summer bedroom. It’s huge. Americans and the need to show off their money with square metres.

I open my suitcase in search of my pyjamas. I want to take a shower. I didn’t sleep during the flight because I stayed up reading. I knew the consequences, but I didn’t care.

I yawn and walk down the corridor. I go into the bathroom without knocking and I instantly regret it. Theo is naked and, God, he’s gorgeous. He’s got ripped muscles that I didn’t know you could have unless you were Zac Efron and, well, I linger a few seconds until I realise my mistake. I want to babble something but even I don’t know what it is. Ground swallow me up. I’m about to leave, gasping, and I turn.

“You’ve been here for two seconds and already wanting to shower with my best friend?” Felix is in front of me. “Bad start, sis.”

No kidding!

CHAPTER 4Bad Day

“Em, dear, get up. It’s 2 P.M. Alexander made burgers to share as a family.”

The bright, burning sun blinds me, so I open my eyes slowly. I miss London and its rainy days so much.

I hide under the sheets.

“I’m not going. Not hungry.”

“Emma Smith, this is not a request. It is an order. Shower, put a comfy but nice outfit, and come downstairs.”

Mum uncovers me and leaves me alone, grunting. I start searching for something to wear but I can’t find anything useful for today. I need to tidy up, immediately.

This will do. I choose a flowery pink dress and white sandals.

I go to the bathroom and hear Felix in the background.

“Too bad Theo isn’t in there.”

I turn around and give him the middle finger.

When I get into the bathroom, I throw up. I need to make a decision about this thing that’s growing inside me. What a way to start the day!

I go downstairs, looking much better than half an hour before, and find Felix and Alexander in the middle of an argument.

“I shouldn’t let you out, after last night.”

“C’mon, Dad. It was a mistake. One simple mistake. I’m not going to end up in prison, like yesterday.”

Felix was in prison? That’s why Alexander showed up so late?

They acknowledge me.

“Alright. I’ll let you go if you take Emma with you.”

Wait, what? Where do they want to take me? Felix glares at me and I put my best poker face on.

“Sure,” he says. “But I’m not having dinner here. Emma, be ready at ten.” And then he goes.

I stand still as I don’t have a clue what’s just happened. Alexander starts to laugh.

“Come and eat, Emma. You must be hungry,” he says. “I’ll explain what you just saw.”

I smile and follow Alexander to the kitchen. When we get there, I see Mum arranging the salads on the table. I sit down, and there’s an awkward silence.

“Yesterday, Theo and Felix were arrested for driving too fast. Way too fast. That’s why I was late for the airport. Today he asked me to go out again, so I told him to take you with him. I think it’s a good idea for you to meet new people and have fun.”

“Well… Uhm… Yeah. Thanks. But, I… Uhm…” I think of an excuse but nothing sounds convincing. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Oh, darling. That’s not an issue. I’ll give you money so you can buy something pretty,” Mum says.

I smile and nod. I stay in silence for the rest of the meal. They, on the other hand, talk about anything and nonstop. At least they don’t expect me to engage in a conversation I don’t care about.

When we finish, Mum hands me the money and tells me where to find the shops. I feel guilty. She is trying to make our relationship work. But she doesn’t realise it’s impossible.

CHAPTER 5New Friends

I throw a denim jacket on and go out to find something to wear. I may be sounding a bit vampirey, but I wanna make things clear: I hate Summer, the sun, and the heat. That’s why I prefer my life in London. Perfect weather, perfect friends, perfect life.

I window-shop a little until I read Vintage Clothing.

I love vintage so I enter. I immediately find a black close-fitting dress, which will go great with my black Vans.

When I’m about to pay, I see a very thin girl with straight brown hair, who is stealing some earrings. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I move closer to ask her what she’s doing.

“Hey, you.”

The thief gives me the stink eye.

“Yes?”

“I saw you putting that in your purse.”

“Ha! This? They’re just earrings. But they are super expensive, and I can’t afford them.”

She’s very friendly and I’m immediately persuaded. I take the earrings to the till. The girl starts to yell at me to please stop, that she won’t do it again, blah, blah, blah.

A Korean girl assists me.

“Just the dress?”

“And the earrings.”

The thief’s expression turns surprised. I buy both things and we get out of there.

“Why did you do that?”

“Why not?”

“You don’t know me.”

“Hi, I’m Emma and I’m here spending the holidays at my mum’s boyfriend’s house.”

“I’m Donna and I’ve lived here since forever.”

“There! We’re friends now.”

Donna laughs.

“Shall we grab an ice-cream? It’s on me.”

Ice-cream? I’m drooling just by thinking about it.

“You can treat me to ice-cream but not pay for earrings?”

“Funny that you say that. We won’t pay for the ice-cream, obviously.”

I laugh and follow her. She’s the exact opposite of Bella, but I like her. When we get to the ice-cream parlour, a blonde guy smiles at us.

“Hey, Donna and Donna’s friend.”

“Emma, Mark. Mark, Emma.”

“Hello, Emma. Ice-cream?”

“Can’t say no to ice-cream,” I say.

“British. I love it.”

We chat a little about what life in London is like when, suddenly, Felix and Theo appear. I need to remind myself to close my mouth because Theo is so perfect it bothers me.

“Isn’t it wonderful to run into my new sis?” Felix says, poking my cheeks.

I pull away. What the hell is wrong with him?

“Get off!”

Is it me or Theo is smiling? Is he laughing at me?

“Well, well… I’m not taking you to the party in that mood.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Felix, stop…” Theo says. I don’t know why listening to his voice for the first time makes me shiver.

“You talk?”

He just stares at me. Well, “just” is a way of saying it because, actually, his eyes pierce me. And I hold his gaze.

I can see how gorgeous he is, with his dishevelled hair, white t-shirt and those eyes that…

“Yeah, but only when I’m fully dressed,” he says. Donna opens her eyes, Felix smiles proudly at his friend, and I… I keep looking at him. “Let’s say I didn’t feel the need to speak when you saw me naked, perv.”

CHAPTER 6Full Speed Party

As I put my makeup on, The Beatles’ We Can Work it Out is on full volume. Americans will never get the brilliance of this band. I apply lip-gloss, as I’m wearing black eyeshadow. I think that it would suit me better if I had brown eyes instead of grey.

The one that looks good with blue eyes is Theo.

No, no, no. Don’t think about him.

A knock on the door.

“It’s open.”

Felix comes in and his cologne smell makes me gag.

“They are waiting for us downstairs, sis.” He looks me up and down. “Find a coat, you’ll be cold.”

I get my leather jacket and, before leaving, I stare at the mess I’m creating in my new bedroom. I need to tidy up, immediately.

When we are out of the house, a red sports car is waiting for us. The window rolls down and I see him at the steering wheel. Theo. I’m dumbfounded. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I take a deep breath and get on the backseat. I try not to look at him, but I can’t help feeling drawn to his lovely scent. It’s not like Felix’s. This one is intense, woody, sensual, almost animal.

God. I don’t like where this is going.

Or do I?

All of a sudden, Theo speeds up and my thoughts disappear. He looks at me in the rearview mirror and winks. I suppose he expects me to smile like a fool, like all the other girls he usually meets. But no. I just ignore him. Felix turns around.

“I hope you aren’t afraid of high speeds, sis.”

I roll my eyes. I’ll never let them know, but I’m absolutely terrified of speed. I’m nauseated. Hugely. I think of throwing up all over Felix, but I feel sorry for him.

What did I just say? Why would I feel sorry for him? He hasn’t once been nice to me.

I look out of the window and realise Theo’s full speed isn’t just because. There’s another car next to ours.

Theo accelerates.

I cover my mouth with my hand.

I close my eyes.

I feel like we turn abruptly, but we go on. I stay with my eyes shut, I don’t want to look. I think that maybe my life ends here. Maybe they’ll find my body when we crash, and no one is ever going to know that I’m pregnant. Because I’m the only one who knows.

Suddenly, the car stops and I hear applause.

I open my eyes and see a lot of people around Theo’s window. I think he’s looking at me, but I’m not sure.

The three of us get out of the car. A beautiful girl with electric blue hair and insolent eyes runs to Theo and kisses him wildly… with tongue. Yuck.