...away on business E-Book

Peter Weiermann

• Herausgeber: neobooks
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Deutsch

Seitenzahl: 99

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

What does a so-called businessman do when he travels "on behalf of the company" in the world? Find out and follow him on his travels and business negotiations around the globe. Take part in curious moments, culinary experiences, interesting encounters, amusing misunderstandings, and snapshots of real life. Whether in India, Korea, China, Indonesia, Thailand, England or anywhere in the middle of nowhere. Smile to yourself, sympathize or reflect upon it all – it is encouraged. Humorous, true to life and entertaining anecdotes. All descriptions are authentic and have been experienced by the author himself.

Leseprobe

Peter Weiermann

...away on business

Dieses ebook wurde erstellt bei

Inhaltsverzeichnis

Titel

Impressum

Prolog

“Epo”

Eating

Sanitary facilities

India

Korea

On the plane ✈

In China

The free market

At the airport

Thailand

England

On the road

This and that

Behavior

Little misunderstanding

Meetings

Sense of orientation

Well-known song

Technological advance

Observations

Behavior

Humor

Visit to Germany

On site

Indonesia

Wrong plane

Impressum neobooks

Impressum

Impressum

©2018 by Peter WeiermannE-mail: [email protected] translation: Cindy LorenzGerman book title: …auf Geschäftsreise All rights reserved. Reproduction and distribution only by written permission of the author.

Prolog

It so happened that one day my boss was of the opinion that I would do less harm to the company if he sent me on business trips, preferably as far away as possible, maybe even to Asia.

In fact, I am still amazed at how it is possible to get anywhere with limited English language skills, an even more limited sense of direction and a small credit card. Incidentally, my language skills are really not that much of a problem because most Asians with whom I'm deal are not language experts either. Ironically, I do not know how many times I have traveled around the world over the past 20 years, but it has been several times. Some moments and impressions are actually trivial things that just belong to traveling, but they can also be things a west European would just like to ignore by laughing it away. They can make you smile or be amazed or even make you stop and think. They are simply snapshots that are rarely consciously perceived because other things are of course in focus. You want to get from A to B to do your job there. These impressions are just side effects, but in and of themselves they often look very strange to a so-called foreigner. Also, I notice that the tiny spot on the map called Germany is not necessarily the center of the world, or is it?

As long as one or the other of these impressions is still in my memory, I would like to capture and pass on these moments to you, dear reader, with the aim of giving you a little something to do in your leisure time. Maybe you're on a journey of your own as you read these lines, maybe even on a business trip or on vacation, or wherever, but nonetheless on the go. It may be that you will discover yourself here within this journal because you have just experienced something similar or have already experienced it in the past. Just one more thing before we start, however. If my opinions, which are subjectively expressed, are met with any displeasure, I beg your pardon. No one should accuse me of a deliberate aversion to persons, groups or things because this is definitely not intended. Quite the contrary, we should all respect each other’s cultural background and habits. I have not included my comments in a chronological order because, in my opinion, this does not detract from the contents in any way. At any rate, I sincerely hope you will enjoy reading the following.

“Epo”

The initial trigger for capturing such little anecdotes occurred as I was once again on a business trip in Shanghai. It is 6 a.m. in the morning and as tired as I am, I get into the taxi in front of the hotel and the taxi driver says to me, “Epo??”

"Uh, what?" I answer, trying hard to decide what he means. After a period of deliberation, I guess correctly and answer with amusement, "Yes please, Epo!" The sophisticated reader already suspects the correct translation, it means “airport”. Problem solved. A very interesting experience.

The driver's next statement was, "Betsching?" I understand now (he means Beijing) and I answer, "No, Seoul, Korea!" Now everything's been discussed and we leave the hotel. Arriving at the EPO, I have the joy of having started the day in good humor and give the driver a generous tip which he probably did not expect. He is all smiles as he drives off and waves at me until he is no longer visible. “EPO”, how nice to know.

In general, my experience has been that when I smile, I will be smiled back at; if I look grim I will get grim looks in return. Or, as Mark Twain once put it, "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

Life is composed of many small moments. There are so many beautiful, funny, instructive occasions. They go by and never come back. That's why I like to pause and enjoy the moment. Too soon everyday obligations always bring me back.

Eating

As it is with many people when they are asked how their vacation was, the first response is a detailed report about the food as if this were the most important aspect. Honestly, this is not so wrong. After all, food is an elementary component. So of course it is obvious that the issue of food should receive adequate attention when sharing my impressions.

Once we received a large order from a company and, and as is often the case, the customers invited us to dinner. My colleague and I were together along with 7 or 8 Chinese customers. Even organizing the trip with several cars turned out to be loud and chaotic. Once arriving at the restaurant, we were led into a small private room with a huge round table. This becomes a special challenge to me, who dislikes any seafood that is not clearly identifiable as fish. We are invited to a so-called hot-pot meal. Well, I think, that doesn’t sound too bad after all. A drink of hard liquor is offered as an aperitif. Of course, we are being tested as to how well we hold our drink. Chinese love heavy-drinking as if there were no other variety. I get the impression that it's a shame not to be an alcoholic. Nevertheless, I hold myself back due to an empty stomach, etc. There is a large pot on the table that is divided down the middle and has two different boiling liquids in it. The waiters appear while balancing several trays which are filled with something that looks like striped intestines with a yellow-greenish shimmering patina. This indefinable something is poured into the pot and some vegetables are added. This very sight alone and the accompanying thought that I have to eat it causes me to break out in a sweat.

I feel scrutinizing eyes watching us as if we had been invited to dinner with a future mother-in-law. How will these “long noses”, meaning Europeans, behave now? My colleague exhibits a similar horror which is written all over his face. Well, what do we do now? I decide to drink a glass of schnapps that is about the size of a small drinking glass (no shot glass) in one go; this of course to the delight of all those present. At least this temporarily fogs my senses and innards somewhat and I pacify myself with the thought that at least the boiling broth has killed all the bacteria and I should expect no signs of intoxication. The two liquids in the pot differ in each case from very hot to indescribably hot which under the circumstances suits me just fine.

Another Chinese culinary experience takes place in a locality that reminds me of a butcher shop with a giant aquarium, which, however, offers anything but normal fish. There are oversized worms, animals with strangely long antennae, and ‑ excuse my idiom ‑ other elements that look like floating, snow-white penises. Just totally disgusting. Our delegation goes straight to these aquariums and I reluctantly follow behind. My worst fears are confirmed when I am made to understand that I should put together a selection of food from it. My imagination is not big enough to see myself eating anything of what is swimming around here at all; I'd rather starve to be honest. So I sneak back and forth for about 10 minutes and always have to go around a strange big black pile of something that lies on the floor which I do not even consciously perceive since my eyes are so glued to the diving vermin in the aquarium. When I notice that this heap is moving though, I am very shocked and look more closely. Bullfrogs! My stomach flinches involuntarily and tells me that it does not agree with any of this. Like a sign from heaven, I find something edible on a shelf. It’s a kind of dessert, steamed bread. I like this foamy sweet bread very much, which I finally select after a felt eternity and to the incomprehension of my Chinese companions.

The story of "fresh" oysters in China as a farewell dinner before the trip home also gave me an unforgettable flight home. I would just like to mention that here but not go into any of the details. Just let your imagination run free. The result certainly comes very close to my own experience.

Sanitary facilities

Not that I want to lower expectations any further by sharing certain experiences, but the sanitary facilities are quite peculiar here and there in Asian countries and these quiet little places are already a chapter in and of themselves. However, in making comparisons, I realize that there are big differences in this area.

Once I enter a restroom and am quite startled because the toilet lid rises automatically. This is obviously a high-tech toilet, a quiet place with extremely extensive electronics such as a lighted and heated seating area with targeted warm water jets at the push of a button. How would you like it, a little further ahead or rather a bit further back? Pulsating or rather with a light jet stream? No problem here. And naturally with subsequent blow drying options! Everything at the touch of a button. Even flushing and lowering of the lid happen automatically. But that's not all that new after all. I am reminded of a song that we sang as children, "My grandma has a chamber pot with lights!" And what is this, a remote control option in the restroom? Shouldn’t there be a TV hidden somewhere? I really can’t find one. But what is that for a dull spot in the mirror? No kidding, a mirror with an integrated TV. This is unbelievable. They are crazy, the Chinese. And once again I think that my kids would love it. Of course the bathroom would probably be constantly occupied...

India

Let's take a quick detour to India. One of my sons spent a whole year there and summed up the country in a short sentence, "Chaotic but sympathetic". And how right he is. In any case, I can only confirm this.

If you know what a gecko is and if you've already seen one, you also know that it's a useful and harmless animal for humans. You may not be as upset as I am by finding such an animal in the bedroom. It looks like a transparent lizard. I almost freeze in horror when I see it from the bed and find no peace until I have done away with this vermin. There was a wet spot on the wall caused by my hotel slippers. When I complained about this uninvited guest the next morning, the hotel personnel instruct me to let him be. The gecko eats insects. I do not care. I do not want this creature in the same room with me. What if I turn off the lights and the eyes??? No thanks! Not with me.