Between the Extremes: Finding Your Way When Everything Pulls You Off Center E-Book

Adrian Carmichael

• Herausgeber: epubli
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 217

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

Most people exhaust themselves swinging between extremes—working obsessively then crashing completely, being perfectly disciplined then abandoning all structure, trying to control everything then giving up entirely—because they have never learned how to find the sustainable middle . This book provides a practical framework for recognizing when you are living in extremes, understanding why binary thinking feels safer but creates instability, and cultivating flexible balance that adapts to changing circumstances rather than rigid rules . Readers will learn how to identify their personal extreme patterns across work, relationships, health, and self-care, challenge the all-or-nothing beliefs that fuel pendulum swings, and develop middle-path practices that honor both ambition and rest, structure and spontaneity, self-care and responsibility . It covers essential practices including noticing when small slips trigger complete abandonment of goals, creating sustainable routines instead of unsustainable perfection, holding boundaries without becoming rigid, and accepting imperfect progress as the actual path forward . Through self-assessment tools, reframing exercises, and stories from people who escaped exhausting extremes, you will understand how to build stability that flexes rather than breaks, make choices from wisdom rather than reaction, and trust that the middle path is not mediocrity but mastery . This is not about compromise or settling—it is about discovering that sustainable success and well-being live between the extremes you keep chasing .

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Understanding the Pendulum: Why Extremes Feel Safer

The Comfort of Certainty

The Consequences of Rigidity

The Myth of Perfection

Recognizing Your Patterns

Chapter 2: Spotting Your Personal Extremes

Understanding Your Patterns

Work: The Pendulum Effect

Relationships: Finding Balance

Health: The Balancing Act

Self-Care: Challenging the Norms

Chapter 3: Challenging All-or-Nothing Beliefs

Understanding All-or-Nothing Thinking

The Safety of Binary Thinking

Reframing Your Beliefs

Embracing Imperfection

Chapter 4: Building the Middle Path: Flexible Balance

Understanding Flexible Balance

Identifying Your Extremes

Small Steps to Sustainable Routines

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Embracing Imperfect Progress

Building a Supportive Community

Chapter 5: The Art of Sustainable Routines

Understanding Sustainable Routines

Designing Your Daily Structure

Recognizing and Overcoming Barriers

Building Accountability and Support

Evaluating and Adjusting Your Routines

Chapter 6: Holding Boundaries Without Becoming Rigid

Understanding the Need for Boundaries

Differentiating Healthy Boundaries from Rigid Barriers

Practical Steps to Establish Boundaries

Maintaining Your Boundaries Gracefully

Recognizing Resistance to Boundaries

Embracing Imperfection in Boundary-Setting

Chapter 7: Embracing Imperfect Progress

Understanding Imperfect Progress

The Myth of All-or-Nothing Thinking

Building Productive Routines

Mindfulness and Reflection

Chapter 8: Recognizing Triggers for All-or-Nothing Thinking

Understanding Your Mental Triggers

The Role of Environmental Cues

Challenging Negative Thoughts

Developing Healthy Coping Strategies

Chapter 9: The Power of Reflection and Mindfulness

Understanding Reflection

The Role of Mindfulness

Techniques for Reflection and Mindfulness

Recognizing Patterns Through Reflection

The Benefits of a Balanced Perspective

Chapter 10: Strategies for Maintaining Balance during Stress

Recognizing Stress Triggers

Develop Mindful Responses

Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy

Create a Flexible Routine

Foster Supportive Relationships

Embrace Imperfection

Chapter 11: Stories of Transformation: Learning from Others

Understanding the Power of Shared Stories

Maria's Journey: Finding Balance in Career and Home

Jason's Transformation: Health Without Rigidity

Emma's Path: From Perfectionism to Acceptance

Diversity in Change: A Collection of Brief Stories

Chapter 12: Making Wise Choices from a Place of Wisdom

Understanding the Difference Between Reaction and Wisdom

Cultivating Mindfulness for Better Choices

Aligning Choices with Values

Building a Decision-Making Framework

Embracing Imperfect Choices

Chapter 13: Integrating Balance into Daily Life

Understanding Daily Balance

Crafting Sustainable Routines

Setting Boundaries with Ease

Small Steps Toward Imperfect Progress

Making Mindful Choices

Chapter 14: The Role of Community in Sustainable Living

The Value of Connection

Finding Your Tribe

Accountability Partnerships

Community Resources and Support

Sharing Knowledge and Skills

Chapter 15: A Practical Framework for the Future

Embracing Flexibility in Your Framework

Setting Sustainable Goals

Cultivating Strong Boundaries

Building a Supportive Network

Chapter 16: Celebrating Your Journey Toward the Middle Path

Acknowledging Your Progress

Creating a Culture of Celebration

Mindfulness in Celebration

Embracing Ongoing Growth

Chapter 1: Understanding the Pendulum: Why Extremes Feel Safer

In this chapter, we explore the concept of the pendulum swing between extremes. Why do we find comfort in all-or-nothing thinking? We'll look at how this mindset presents a false sense of security, and how it leads to cycles of burnout and frustration. By recognizing these patterns, we can start the journey towards a more balanced approach to life.

The Comfort of Certainty

In our fast-paced lives, the allure of certainty often pulls us toward all-or-nothing thinking. This section dives into why a clear-cut mindset feels safer and easier, even as it leads us to extremes.

Clear Outcomes Keep Us Grounded

All-or-nothing thinking often gives us a sense of stability through defined outcomes. When we categorize our success and failure strictly, the measuring stick becomes clear. Achieving an extreme goal—like a perfect workout routine or flawless diet—can provide a rush of accomplishment. This mentality simplifies life, eliminating the complexities of the gray areas that accompany balance.

However, this binary viewpoint often restricts our ability to experience life fully. When we see success only in extremes, any slight deviation can feel like a total failure. This mindset not only fosters anxiety but also pushes us away from sustainable practices that allow for growth and flexibility. Finding a middle ground means redefining success in a way that accounts for the nuances of our real experiences.

Fear of the Unknown

One reason we cling to all-or-nothing thinking is the fear of the unknown. When faced with important life decisions, binary choices seem to eliminate ambiguity, offering a tempting shortcut to clarity. For instance, deciding between a highly structured schedule or complete freedom feels less daunting than navigating the complexities of flexibility.

This safety net can be alluring because it shields us from the discomfort of uncertainty. Yet, while these rigid choices provide temporary relief, they inevitably lead us to cycles of stress and burnout. Embracing uncertainty is essential; it allows for adaptability and creativity, leading to more enriching and satisfying experiences. Learning to accept the unknown is key to breaking free from the pendulum's grip.

Immediate Gratification

In our fast-paced world, the appeal of immediate gratification drives many of our choices, often leading us towards extremes. When we adopt a rigid approach to our goals, such as transforming our lifestyle overnight, we might experience quick results that feel rewarding. This can instill a false sense of achievement.

However, these results are typically short-lived. Quick wins often neglect the foundation of sustainability, causing us to crash as soon as we step back from our extremes. Recognizing the difference between temporary satisfaction and lasting fulfillment is crucial. Cultivating patience and focusing on gradual progress can lead to more meaningful accomplishments and a more balanced life approach.

Social Comparisons

In today's social media-driven society, extreme lifestyles are frequently glorified and celebrated. We are constantly surrounded by images of perfection—from fitness influencers to productivity gurus—showing us what seems like an ideal life. This creates a compelling pressure to conform to these extremes in order to gain validation or approval.

This cycle results in chasing after ideals that might not align with our genuine values or desires, leading to burnout and disappointment. It’s vital to remember that social comparisons can mislead our perception of success. Embracing our unique journey and recognizing that balance looks different for everyone can liberate us from the need for validation through extremes. Ultimately, authenticity provides a far richer sense of fulfillment.

The Consequences of Rigidity

Living at the extremes can lead to significant consequences. In this section, we will discuss how rigid thinking can manifest in our lives, causing unnecessary stress and discontent.

Burnout from Overcommitment

When we constantly push ourselves to meet exceptionally high standards, we often end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. This relentless drive to perform can manifest as burnout, where the joy we once derived from our work simply fades away. Overcommitment leads to fatigue and disengagement, affecting not only our professional lives but our personal well-being as well.

It’s important to recognize that this all-or-nothing mentality can create an unsustainable cycle. We might initially thrive on intense focus and commitment, yet our energy reserves can quickly deplete, leaving us feeling trapped in a cycle of overachievement followed by inevitable collapse. This can further reinforce the idea that anything less than perfection is failure, which is far from the truth. Embracing flexibility and acknowledging our limits can be the key to breaking free from this exhausting pattern.

Relationship Strain

All-or-nothing thinking doesn’t just impact our personal goals; it can also create significant strain in our relationships. When we feel like we’re not living up to our own or others’ expectations, isolation often becomes a defense mechanism. We might withdraw from friends or family, fearing judgment or the perceived inadequacy of not being “perfect.”

This isolation can create a rift in connections that once brought us joy and support. Healthy relationships require vulnerability and acceptance of imperfections. Recognizing that everyone has their struggles helps foster closeness, rather than distance. Shifting our mindset from extremes to understanding can lead to more meaningful interactions, enabling us to support each other through life's ups and downs.

Self-Sabotage Tendencies

Another severe consequence of rigid thinking is the tendency to engage in self-sabotage. When we don’t meet our rigid goals, the instinct might be to abandon all efforts entirely rather than reassessing and recalibrating our approach. This reaction is often rooted in the belief that anything less than 100% commitment equates to failure.

Such cycles can lead to a profound sense of frustration and disappointment. A more balanced perspective allows us to acknowledge our efforts as valid regardless of the outcome. Embracing the concept of progress over perfection can help us avoid unnecessary setbacks and cultivate a healthier relationship with our goals while fostering resilience when challenges arise.

Difficulty Adapting

Life is inherently dynamic, constantly evolving with unexpected changes and challenges. Rigid mindsets, however, can make it difficult to adapt to these shifts. When we cling to black-and-white thinking, any deviation from our established plans can trigger frustration and stagnation. This inflexibility often leads to missed opportunities for growth, learning, and connection.

To thrive in a changing world, it's essential to cultivate an adaptable mindset. Recognizing that flexibility can coexist with our ambitions allows us to navigate life’s unpredictabilities with grace. By embracing change rather than resisting it, we can create our own versions of success that align more closely with our evolving circumstances, fostering a more sustainable and enjoyable life.

The Myth of Perfection

This section dissects the myth of perfection, a common belief that fuels all-or-nothing thinking. We’ll explore how the pursuit of being perfect holds us back from growth and progress.

Imposter Syndrome

The quest for perfection can trap us in a debilitating cycle known as imposter syndrome. When we feel compelled to present a flawless facade, we often withdraw from engaging in activities where we might make mistakes or show vulnerability. This overwhelming drive to appear perfect fosters a sense of inadequacy, especially when we falter. We might think, "If I'm not perfect, I’m a failure," which leads us to avoid new challenges or opportunities.

Instead of embracing growth and learning from our experiences, we find ourselves stuck in a loop of self-doubt and anxiety. This mentality not only hinders our personal development but also isolates us from authentic connections with others. Engaging in honest conversations about our struggles can help dismantle this limiting belief, allowing us to recognize our worth beyond perfection and appreciate our unique contributions.

Fear of Failure

Perfectionism cultivates an intense fear of failure that can paralyze us when it comes to taking risks. The belief that we must achieve perfect results at all costs can lead to an overwhelming anxiety that stifles our creativity and prevents us from pursuing our goals. When the stakes feel impossibly high, we may opt for inaction rather than the possibility of falling short.

This fear can extend to various aspects of our lives, from career choices to personal aspirations. The irony is that by fearing failure, we often set ourselves up for it, becoming trapped in a cycle of avoidance. Embracing the idea that failure is merely a stepping stone towards growth can be liberating. Accepting that mistakes are part of the journey allows us to take calculated risks and ultimately leads to true success.

Perfectionism vs. Excellence

It’s essential to differentiate between perfectionism and excellence. Perfectionism is focused on achieving unattainable standards, which often leads to disappointment and burnout. In contrast, excellence is about striving for improvement and personal growth, even when we stumble along the way. Recognizing this distinction can transform our approach to challenges.

Excellence empowers us to set realistic, achievable goals while understanding that mistakes are inherent to the learning process. By celebrating progress, no matter how small, we shift the focus from an unattainable ideal to actionable steps that enrich our lives. Cultivating a mindset of excellence allows us to pursue our passions joyfully, embracing both successes and failures as valuable parts of our journey.

Change as Growth

Embracing change is crucial for personal growth, yet many of us resist it due to our pursuit of perfection. Acknowledging that growth often occurs through errors and imperfections opens the door to new learning opportunities. When we accept that change can be messy, we empower ourselves to adapt and evolve.

This perspective fosters resilience, enabling us to tackle challenges with a mindset geared towards improvement rather than fear. By reframing our relationship with change, we focus on the lessons learned through experiences, encouraging continuous self-discovery. Understanding that growth is not linear allows us to navigate life's uncertainties with confidence, cultivating a mindset where progress becomes the priority rather than perfection.

Recognizing Your Patterns

Gaining awareness of our personal extremes is the first step to finding balance. This section presents tools for recognizing unhealthy patterns in our behavior.

Self-Reflection Practices

Engaging in regular self-reflection is a vital practice for recognizing when you oscillate between extremes in your behavior. This practice encourages you to explore your thoughts and feelings during moments of imbalance, uncovering patterns that may otherwise remain hidden. By dedicating time to reflect, you can identify specific triggers that lead you to swing from one extreme to another. For instance, do you find yourself working tirelessly on a project, only to collapse from exhaustion later? Recognizing these patterns empowers you to take proactive steps towards balance.

Additionally, self-reflection helps cultivate self-awareness, which is crucial for making intentional choices. Setting aside moments each week to ponder your experiences allows you to question why you react in certain ways and how your decisions align with your values. This process of understanding can illuminate hidden beliefs that contribute to your all-or-nothing mentality, guiding you towards more sustainable habits.

Journaling for Insight

Journaling serves as a powerful tool for gaining clarity and insight into your emotional landscape and behavioral patterns over time. By writing regularly, you create a personal record that documents your thoughts, feelings, and the circumstances surrounding your swings between extremes. This practice can help you pinpoint recurring themes or triggers that lead you to abandon your goals or overcommit.

As you put pen to paper, allow your thoughts to flow freely, without judgment. This authenticity often unveils insights about your motivations and fears. You may discover that setbacks prompt an exaggerated response, like the urge to give up completely. Through journaling, you can track these moments and map a path toward more balanced responses that embrace learning instead of despair.

Feedback from Trusted People

Seeking feedback from trusted friends, family, or colleagues provides an external perspective that can be instrumental in recognizing your patterns of behavior. Often, those close to you can see things that you might overlook, such as your tendencies to swing between extremes. They may offer insights about how your behaviors impact your relationships and well-being, serving as a valuable mirror to help you gain clarity.

Engaging in open conversations about your challenges can also create opportunities for support and encouragement. Their observations can highlight your strengths that may be overshadowed by your focus on your extremes. By fostering this dialogue, you not only enhance your self-awareness but also cultivate deeper connections that reinforce your journey towards a more balanced life.

Utilizing Assessments

Formal assessments can serve as useful tools to help you identify where you fall along the spectrum of extremes. These assessments often provide structured questions or scenarios that reveal your behavioral tendencies and thought patterns. Understanding your position on this spectrum can illuminate the areas in your life where you might be leaning too heavily toward one extreme.

Utilizing these assessments is not just about diagnosis; it's about guiding you toward a more balanced approach. They can help you plot a course for improvement by highlighting key areas to focus on. Armed with this information, you can set realistic goals, develop effective strategies, and take actionable steps towards cultivating a sustainable lifestyle that embraces the middle path.

Chapter 2: Spotting Your Personal Extremes

Everyone has their unique set of patterns when navigating life's demands. In this chapter, we will help you identify your personal extremes in key areas like work, relationships, and health. Through self-assessment tools and reflections, you will gain insights into your behaviors and thought patterns.

Understanding Your Patterns

To spot your personal extremes, it's crucial to first understand the patterns that define your behavior. Everyone operates based on unique traits and past experiences that influence their decisions and reactions. By recognizing these patterns, you can begin to see where you might be swinging too far in one direction.

Identify triggers

To truly understand your personal extremes, it's essential to identify your triggers—those specific situations that provoke intense reactions. Reflect on the moments when you feel an emotional surge that swings your behavior drastically. Perhaps it’s a demanding boss at work or a family member pressing your buttons. By pinpointing these triggers, you can begin to see patterns emerge in your responses. Start by creating a list of situations or events that have led to extreme reactions in the past.

Are there recurring themes? Do certain environments or conversations make you feel overwhelmed or defensive? Recognizing these triggers is the first step toward managing them. Once you have identified what sets off intense emotions, you can formulate a plan to respond with greater awareness instead of reacting impulsively. This deeper understanding will empower you to navigate your challenges more effectively, aiding in the quest for balance.

Recognize emotional responses

Your emotional responses are crucial indicators of when you're swinging toward an extreme. Pay attention to how you feel in various scenarios: Are you often overwhelmed, anxious, or excessively excited? Understanding your emotional landscape can help you acknowledge when you’re teetering on the edge of an extreme reaction.

Take a moment to reflect on times when your emotions felt out of control. Did you experience joy that quickly turned to disappointment, or did stress push you into a retreat from friends or responsibilities? By documenting these experiences, you can better understand the emotions driving your actions. Recognizing these patterns enables you to cultivate emotional intelligence, providing you with tools to react from a place of awareness rather than a knee-jerk response. This understanding is vital for creating sustainable balance in your life.

Assess your past behaviors

Your history provides valuable insights into your current behavior patterns, particularly the all-or-nothing tendencies that can lead to perpetual swings. Take some time to look back at crucial moments when you acted in extremes—did you plunge into a new habit, only to abandon it entirely shortly after?

Specific instances, like committing to a strict diet only to relive that same day of indulgence repeatedly, reveal critical aspects of your behavior. By asking yourself probing questions about these moments—such as what prompted the extreme actions or what feelings you were experiencing—you can uncover deeper beliefs and narratives that drive your choices. This self-reflection fosters a greater understanding of how past behaviors shape your present, paving the way for more mindful decisions.

Journal your experiences

Journaling can be a powerful tool for uncovering your behavior patterns in real-time. By writing about your daily experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you can gain clarity on the cycles of extreme reactions you may not notice throughout your day. Start by dedicating a few minutes each day to reflect on what went well, what triggered stress, and moments when you felt overly enthusiastic or withdrawn.

Returning to these writings can illuminate recurring themes, helping you identify triggers and emotional responses more clearly. Journaling not only captures your experiences but also serves as a reflective practice to analyze your progress over time. This process enhances self-awareness and encourages a deeper understanding of your unique patterns as you develop healthier, more balanced responses to life’s demands.

Work: The Pendulum Effect

Many people experience extreme swings in their work life, often feeling the need to hustle hard one week, only to feel burnt out the next. Understanding how your work habits fluctuate is essential to create a healthy balance.

Workaholism vs. burnout

Understanding the thin line between workaholism and burnout is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Workaholism often manifests as an overwhelming urge to work excessively, driven by the desire to achieve and succeed. This compulsive behavior can lead to extreme dedication, often at the expense of personal health and relationships.

As you push your limits, your energy reserves dwindle, which may culminate in feelings of exhaustion and detachment—signs of burnout. If you find yourself dreading work, feeling mentally and physically drained, or losing interest in tasks you once enjoyed, you may be experiencing burnout. Recognizing these signs early can empower you to take action and re-establish a sustainable balance in your work life, allowing you to pursue your goals without sacrificing well-being.

Recognize productivity cycles

Everyone has unique productivity patterns, often fluctuating between high-energy peaks and low-energy valleys throughout the week. Observing when you feel most inspired and focused can help you maximize your effectiveness. For instance, if you're consistently more productive in the morning, schedule challenging tasks during that time.

By appreciating your natural cycles and planning accordingly, you can work in harmony with your energy levels rather than against them. This flexible approach enables you to maintain consistent progress while minimizing burnout, allowing for healthier, more sustainable productivity. Embracing your own rhythms will foster a sense of accomplishment, reducing stress and bringing joy back into your work routine.

Set realistic goals

Aiming for perfection can often feel like a noble pursuit but may lead to procrastination and anxiety. It's essential to recognize that striving for unrealistic goals only sets you up for disappointment. Instead, focus on setting achievable and specific goals that allow for incremental progress.

Adjusting your expectations can be liberating; it augments your ability to celebrate small victories. By acknowledging that progress, not perfection, is the key to success, you can alleviate unnecessary stress. This mindset shift empowers you to take actionable steps that contribute to your overall well-being, ultimately creating a healthier relationship with your work and fostering a sustainable momentum toward your aspirations.

Implement time boundaries

Creating time boundaries around your work schedule is essential for maintaining efficiency and preventing burnout. Establishing specific start and end times for your workday can help you create a clear division between professional responsibilities and personal time.

By committing to these boundaries, you signal to yourself and others when you are available and when you are not. This practice will facilitate better focus during work hours and allow for restorative downtime afterward. Remember, it's essential to safeguard your personal time just as fiercely as you would an important work meeting. Embracing this practice will foster boundaries that encourage both productivity and self-care, leading to a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.

Relationships: Finding Balance

In relationships, it's easy to fall into extreme patterns, whether it be over-dependence or withdrawal. Understanding how you interact with others will help you establish healthier connections.

Assess your attachment style

Your attachment style significantly influences how you behave in relationships. Understanding whether you lean towards a secure, anxious, or avoidant attachment can provide critical insights into your relational dynamics. A secure attachment often results in healthier interactions, where you feel comfortable being vulnerable and communicating openly. In contrast, anxious individuals may struggle with clinginess, fearing rejection or abandonment. Those with avoidant tendencies might withdraw, prioritizing independence to the detriment of intimacy. By identifying your attachment style, you can begin to recognize pattern triggers and patterns that heighten emotional responses. This self-awareness is the first step in fostering healthier relationships and moving away from extremes.

Recognize emotional swings

Tracking fluctuations in your feelings towards your relationships can unveil important insights. Emotionally charged situations often provoke extreme reactions, such as feeling overly clingy one moment and entirely distant the next. Keeping a journal or using an app to document these emotional swings can help you identify triggers and patterns in your emotional responses. For instance, you may notice that you pull away after moments of vulnerability or feel an urge to overreach after perceived neglect. Recognizing these swings is crucial as it enables you to anticipate your emotional responses, fostering a more balanced approach in your interactions with loved ones.

Open communication

Fostering an environment of open communication with your loved ones is essential for establishing balance in your relationships. Conversations about needs, feelings, and expectations can significantly reduce misunderstandings, building trust and intimacy over time. Encourage your partners, friends, or family members to share their thoughts without fear of judgment. Similarly, ensure that you express your own needs candidly. This openness cultivates mutual understanding and diminishes the extremes of dependency and isolation. By prioritizing healthy communication, you are more likely to navigate relational challenges with empathy and respect, which can lead to a more harmonious connection.

Practice self-care

Self-care is not just a buzzword; it is a fundamental practice for enriching your relationships. When you prioritize your own well-being—whether through exercise, meditation, or pursuing hobbies—you enhance the quality of what you bring into your interactions. Individuals who engage in self-care often exhibit greater emotional stability, allowing them to respond thoughtfully instead of reactively in relationships. Ensure that you set aside time for your personal needs and interests, as this balance prevents feelings of resentment or burnout. Ultimately, a well-rested and fulfilled individual fosters healthier connections, creating a more harmonious relational landscape.

Health: The Balancing Act

Your approach to health and wellness can often swing between extremes—rigid dieting one moment and complete indulgence the next. Finding a middle ground is key to long-term sustainability.

Evaluate your diet habits

Understanding your eating patterns is crucial for establishing a sustainable approach to health. Take a moment to reflect on your diet habits: do you frequently find yourself cycling between restrictive diets and periods of binge eating? This pattern can drain your energy and create a tumultuous relationship with food.

By keeping a food diary or simply noting your meals and feelings around eating, you can identify triggers that lead to these extremes. Asking yourself how certain foods and meal structures make you feel physically and emotionally can illuminate the subtle cues your body is sending. Recognizing these cycles is the first step towards a more balanced approach. Instead of jumping between extremes, aim for moderation—allow yourself the freedom to enjoy indulgences while also embracing nutrient-dense foods.

Listen to your body

Your body is constantly communicating with you, and tuning into its signals can foster a healthier relationship with food and wellness. Take time to learn the difference between true hunger and emotional cravings. Are you eating because you feel hungry, or is it out of stress or boredom?