Charley Miles
BLACKTHORN
NICK HERN BOOKS
London
www.nickhernbooks.co.uk
Contents
Original Production
Dedication
Thanks
Characters
Blackthorn
About the Author
Copyright and Performing Rights Information
Blackthorn was originally produced by Leeds Playhouse for Furnace Festival 2016. The play was revived at Paines Plough’s Roundabout at Summerhall, Edinburgh Festival Fringe, on 1 August 2018, and was produced by InSite Performance in association with Leeds Playhouse. The cast was as follows:
HER
Charlotte Bate
HIM
Harry Egan
Director
Jacqui Honess-Martin
Producer
Rowan Rutter
Movement Director
Natasha Harrison
Lighting Designer
Jose Tevar
Composer
Heather Fenoughty
For Kilburneveryone and everywhere that made me
Thanks
This play was born out of the lifelong support of some, and the more recent encouragement of others.
Thanks to Gilly, Sophie, James, Robin, and all at Leeds Playhouse for first believing in it and in me, and giving the play its first breath of life; to Harry Egan and Charlie Bate, for their exquisite talents and instincts; to Matt Hartley for his selfless support, and Paines Plough for the new life; to Marnie Podos, for her brilliance and enthusiasm.
Special thanks to my mum and dad, for their endless support. We might not have understood what we were getting ourselves into, but your unquestioning belief made it feel possible. To Izzy, for being my first reader, always; to Eve, for being easy to make laugh; to Frankie, for his love.
Thanks to the volley of female friends who support me through everything. Most especially, to Tashan Mehta, my sister-in-arms and most wise adviser: I could not understand myself without you.
This play would not have been possible without the relentless encouragement, energy and wisdom of Jacqui Honess-Martin. Thank you for your rigour and insight—for giving me reasons to aim higher.
C.M.
Characters
HER
HIM
A forward slash (/) indicates when the next line begins.
This edition features the full-length version of the play. A shortened version was first performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
This ebook was created before the end of rehearsals and so may differ slightly from the play as performed.
HERWhen we get bornwe’re the first babies born for twenty years.HIMThey tell usHERthey love to tell usHIMabout how it’s not the same.HERYou can move here at six years old or sixtyor even six weeks newborn.HIMBut it’s not the same.HERNo.It’s not the same as us.HERThis time –HIMthey’re pantingHERheavily.HIMAs though they’ve just run aHERLet’s play something different than horses now.HIMWant to race sticks in beck?HERI think we should play a game of mummies and daddies.HIMThat’s a girl’s game.HERNo it’s not cos it’s got mummies AND daddies in itstupid.So’s I’ll be the / mummy.HIMCould catch for minnows?HERAnd you be the daddy. And you’re likeWhat do you want to be?HIMI don’t want to be the daddy.HERYou have to be the daddy.And you can pick what you want to do for work andI think I’llI think that I shouldHIMYou have to look after the babies.HERI haven’t had any babies yet we’re going to make thebabies in a bit.HIMCan I be a pirate?HERYou can’t be a pirate in real life.HIMThere are pirates in real life.HERYou could just be a sailor if you like?HIMI want a parrot.HERYou could work likeyou could do what Tom’s dad doesand you could go out to the sea for the long time andon theOn theLooking for oil.That’s a sort of pirate?HIMIs Tom’s dad a pirate?HERYeh. Sort of. He told me.So you be aGoing out onto the oils for the long timewhich means we have to have a really big fight.HIMWhy?HERCos you didn’t got your other job that you used tohave. You lost it.HIMHow do you lose a job?HERI don’t know. Just being really careless, I think.I can’t believe you lost your job! Being really careless!I hate you!HIMI hate you too!!HERNo! You have toYou have to be like oh but I love you and I’m sorryand please.And kiss me now.HIMYuck!!!!!! Why?????HERYou have to make me love you again.HIMI never want to kiss a girl in my whole life ever. I madea promise about it. Never. Ever.HERYou kiss your mum.HIMDon’t.HERSeen you.HIMYeah well. She’s the only one. Only cos I have to.HERYou do have to, cos it’s part of the game.–HIMI don’t have to marry you, do I?HERYou don’t have to get married if you have a kiss,stupid. My auntie’s always kissing loads of boys andshe’s never even been married once.HIMFine.But only if you close your eyes.And I’m be closing mine too.–YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCKAnd you opened your eyes, you cheater!HEROkay so I’m probably going to work now. Now you’reout on the oils.HIMI hate this game!HEROkay well I think that you just needs to calm down.What d’you want to play then? Hey?D’you want to play horses again?HIMYeah and I’ll be the stag.HERThat’s not a horse.HIMIt is it’s the boy one that they letthey let him keep his you know.Only one does get to and he’s special cos then he getsto have babies with all the mares.I seen it. Seen it when his thing’s out.HERHis WILLY?HIMShut up!! So’s I’ll be stag cos you knowHERI don’t think it’s fair that you get to be stag becauseyou got born withGirls should get willies too.HIMYou get something different though.HERDo you get it when you’re older?HIMWhat?HERWhat we get instead of a willy. Do we get it whenwe’re older?HIMThink you get born with it, same.HERBut I don’t have anything.HIMI seen my mum’s.HERWhat’s it look like??HIMIt’s just a bit hairy.HERDo you want toshall we swap looking? Just really quickly.HIMGet in trouble.HERBut we couldgo behind the hedge.HIM–HERShall I take my knickers off?HIMNo we’ll do it later maybe. At home andbehind the sofa.HEROkay. SoI’m going to be aprobably be a horse-racerHIMCan’t be the racer if we’re both horses, can you?Otherwise it justit can’t make sense!!HERAnyway I don’t want to be a horse any more.I want to be the daddy. I’ll go out to the oils.HIMBut we’re not playing that game any more.HERSo I’m the daddy out on the oilsYou make the tea. Or let’sActually let’s be likeyou be John SmithHIMOut on the oils?HERNo stupid he’s a different sort of sailor so I’mI’m like running in the wind andHIMI’m going in now.HERNo but I’m like running all in the wind / andHIMI SAID I’m going in now.HER–Why??HIMYou ent playing properly.You have to just pick one thing. To be.HERWell sorry…HIMYou can’t change your mind all the time cos it’s justreally confusing in the game and it’ll make people justnot want to play with you any more.–HERI’m going into the barn then.Going to climb the haystacks.HIMYou aren’t.HERI am.HIMIt’s dangerous.HERI think that if we’re friends then we should justprobably do it together so you come along wi’ me now.Come on. You come and play wi’ me. And I’m goingin there.–A little boy died that climbed in the haystacks once.HIMYou didn’t even know him it was a long timeIt was beforeIt was when you was still a star in the sky.HERYeah but I knowcos he’s my cousin. I get really sad about it butI’ll show you.–HIMYou’re not allowed.HERYeah well d’you know thatlike I do know all about it all how it happened.I know what happens when people die.He died by aTragedy.HIMMy dad told me but you wasn’t told cos you was tooyoung.When we got told off for it. For climbing.I wasn’t ’llowed to tell you, but I got told.HERNo you don’t cos
