Bullyproof Your Workplace E-Book

Rae A. Stonehouse

• Herausgeber: Live For Excellence Productions (LFEP)
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

Are you fed up with workplace bullies and dreading going in each day due to toxic environments? Act now & bullyproof your workplace.

Bullying in the workplace can take many forms, from verbal abuse to exclusion from group activities, and it can have a significant impact on an individual's mental and physical health. In "Bullyproof Your Workplace: Strategies to Prevent Workplace Bullying," retired registered nurse Rae A. Stonehouse draws on over four decades of experience in psychiatry and mental health to provide insight into the issue and practical solutions for workers and organizations.

Divided into two parts, the book begins with "A Personal Perspective," in which Stonehouse shares examples and situations from his own career to help readers understand what bullying looks like and how to respond to it. He offers sage advice on how to identify and cope with workplace bullies, and shares strategies for dealing with the emotional toll of being targeted.

In Part Two, "Best Practices to Prevent Bullying in The Workplace," Stonehouse takes a higher-level approach to the problem. Drawing on his experience he provides practical solutions for organizations seeking to prevent bullying before it starts. From policy development to employee training, Stonehouse offers a comprehensive toolkit for organizations looking to create a safe and respectful workplace culture.

While Stonehouse's examples are drawn from his experience in healthcare, he believes that the lessons learned apply to other worksites. "Bullyproof Your Workplace" is an essential resource for anyone looking to create a healthy and positive workplace environment, free from the damaging effects of bullying.

Leseprobe

Bullyproof Your Workplace

Strategies to Prevent Workplace Bullying

Rae A. Stonehouse

Live For Excellence Productions

Copyright

All rights to this literary work, Copyright © 2023, are reserved to Rae A. Stonehouse. It is expressly prohibited to reproduce any part of this book in any format, including electronic or mechanical, without prior written consent from the author, except for brief quotations used in a book review.

Please be advised that both the publisher and the author are providing this book and its contents “as is,” with no express or implied representations or warranties of any kind, including but not limited to fitness for a particular purpose. Any such representations and warranties are hereby disclaimed. Furthermore, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for any errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or inconsistencies contained in this work.

Any information provided in this book should be independently verified and validated before acting upon it.

While this publication is intended to be a valuable source of information for readers, it is not intended to replace the advice and guidance of expert professionals. Should you require a high level of assistance, it is recommended that you seek out a competent professional.

Finally, it should be noted that the publisher and author of this book do not guarantee any level of success or results from following the advice and strategies provided. Any results will vary according to each individual's unique situation.

ISBN - E-book: 978-1-998813-23-0

ISBN – Paperback: 978-1-998813-24-7

ISBN – Audiobook: 978-1-998813-25-4

Introduction

Many of us might recall schoolyard bullies from our school days. Well, guess what? Many bullies have grown-up into not so well-adjusted adults.

Odds are you will experience them in your workplace. If their bullying behavior worked for them in the past, they may continue to do so.

As a recently retired registered nurse of over four decades, having worked predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, I’ve encountered more than my share of workplace bullies.

This book is divided into two parts. Part One: A Personal Perspective and Part Two: Best Practices to Prevent Bullying in The Workplace.

Part One is directed to workers currently experiencing bullying in their workplace and provides sage advice on understanding what is happening and what can be done about it.

In Part One I provide examples and situations from my experience working in healthcare. The examples and the lessons learned apply to other worksites.

In Part Two we take a higher-level look at the problem with bullying in the workplace and provide best practices solutions to prevent it.

While the field of Occupational Health & Safety is improving, you will find many employers don’t care, don’t know about OH&S matters or who actively ignore regulations for increased profit. OH&S legislation is in place to deal with those employers. Worker’s Compensation boards are gaining more authority and clout in many jurisdictions and have been levying hefty fines for employers who don’t comply.

After you read Part One, the book isn’t written to be read linearly i.e., from front to back. As in my other personal/professional self-development books I use what I call an ‘onion’ method. I explore a topic in depth and often peel back a layer and revisit a topic from a different perspective. The chapters can be used for future reference.

William Feathers is often quoted as saying “knowledge is power.” I disagree with Mr. Feathers and believe knowledge is only power when you do something with it.

This book will give you the knowledge and the power to do something about bullies. Bullies at work, or elsewhere in our lives, are no longer acceptable.

Onwards and upwards!

Rae A. Stonehouse,

Author

April 2023

* * *

PartOne

Part One: A Personal Perspective

A Personal Perspective

What is bullying? Bullying is persistent unwelcome behavior, mostly using needless or invalid criticism, nitpicking, fault finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive tracking, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance.

According to the late Tim Field creator of Bully Online, bullying differs from harassment and discrimination because the focus is rarely based on gender, race, or disability. The focus is often on competence, or rather the alleged lack of competence of the bullied person. In reality, the target of bullying is often competent and popular, and the bully is aggressively projecting their own social, interpersonal and professional inadequacy onto their target. Projection is to avoid facing up to that inadequacy and doing something about it, and to distract and divert attention away from the bully's inadequacies, shortcomings and failings.

Why do people bully? The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc. … good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is managing; bullying is not managing. So, anyone who bullies admits their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others:

a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it;

b) to avoid accepting responsibility for their behavior and the effect it has on others,

and mainly,

c) to divert attention away from their inadequacy in an insecure or badly managed workplace, this is how inadequate, incompetent and aggressive employees keep their jobs.

Bullying is an inefficient way of working, resulting in disenchantment, demoralization, demotivation, disaffection, and alienation. Bullies run dysfunctional and inefficient organizations; staff turnover and sickness absence are high, whilst morale, productivity and profitability are low. Prosperity is illusory and such organizations are a bad long-term investment. Projection and denial are hallmarks of the serial bully.

Bullying is present behind all forms of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. When bullying has a focus (e.g., race or gender) it comes out as racial prejudice or harassment, or sexual discrimination and harassment, and so on.

How to Spot a Bullying Employer:

You may be dazzled by corporate visions, mission statements, or by impressive badges on glossy paper, and whilst sometimes these may be deserved, some quality and people awards, can be used by unscrupulous employers to hide what’s going on. The best guide to what it’s like to work for an employer is to get the following information covering at least the last twelve months. A good employer will be happy to divulge this information. (Apart from stress breakdowns, some employers, especially the larger ones, may have a few for genuine or unrelated reasons):

rate of staff turnoveramount of sick leavenumber of stress breakdownsnumber of deaths in servicenumber of ill health retirementsnumber of early retirementsnumber of uses of disciplinary proceduresnumber of grievances initiatednumber of suspensionsnumber of dismissalsnumber of uses of private security firms to snoop on employeesnumber of times the employer is involved in industrial tribunals or legal action against employees

People who are bullied find they are:

constantly criticizedexplanations and proof of achievement are ridiculed, overruled, dismissed or ignoredforever subject to nit picking and trivial fault finding (the triviality is the giveaway)undermined, especially in front of others; false concerns are raised, or doubts are expressed over a person’s performance or standard of work however, the doubts lack substantive and quantifiable evidence, for they are only the bully’s unreliable opinionoverruled, ignored, sidelined, marginalized, ostracizedisolated and excluded from what’s happening (this makes people more vulnerable and easier to control and subjugate)singled out and treated differently (for example everyone else can have long lunch breaks, but if they are one minute late it’s a disciplinary offense)belittled, degraded, demeaned, ridiculed, patronizedthreatened, shouted at and humiliated, especially in front of otherstaunted and teased where the intention is to embarrass and humiliateset unrealistic goals and deadlines which are unachievable or which are changed without notice or reason or whenever they get near achieving themdenied information or knowledge for undertaking work and achieving objectivesdenied support by their manager and find themselves working in a management vacuum either overloaded with work (this keeps people busy [with no time to tackle bullying] and makes it harder to achieve targets) or have all their work taken away (which is sometimes replaced with inappropriate menial jobs, e.g., photocopying, filing, making coffee)have their responsibility increased but their authority removedhave their work plagiarized, stolen and copied the bully then presents their target’s work (e.g., to senior management) as their ownare given the silent treatment: the bully refuses to communicate and avoids eye contact; often instructions are received only via email, memossubject to excessive tracking, supervision, micro management, recording, snooping, etc.the subject of written complaints by other members of staff (most of whom have been coerced into fabricating allegations - the complaints are trivial, often bizarre [“He looked at me in a funny way”] and often bear striking similarity to each other, suggesting a common origin)find requests for leave have unacceptable and unnecessary conditions attached, sometimes overturning previous approval, especially if the person has addressed bullying in the meantimedenied annual leave, sickness leave, or especially compassionate leavewhen on leave, are harassed by calls at home or on holiday, often at unsocial hoursreceive unpleasant or threatening calls or are harassed with intimidating memos, notes or e-mails with no verbal communication, right before weekends and holidays (e.g., 4 pm Friday or Christmas Eve - often these are hand delivered)do not have a clear job description, or have one that is exceedingly long or vague; the bully often deliberately makes the person’s role unclearare invited to “informal” meetings which turn out to be disciplinary hearingsare denied representation at meetings, often under threat of further disciplinary action; sometimes the bully abuses their position of power to exclude any representative competent to deal with bullyingencouraged to feel guilty, and to believe they’re always the one at faultsubjected to unwarranted and unjustified verbal or written warningsfacing unjustified disciplinary action on trivial or specious or false chargesfacing dismissal on fabricated charges or flimsy excuses, often using a trivial incident from months or years previouslycoerced into reluctant resignation, enforced redundancy i.e., layoff, early or ill health retirement

As an Individual, What Can I Do About It?

Bullying is hard to prove, as it takes place behind closed doors with no witnesses and no evidence (in the traditional sense at least). When called to account, the bully uses charm and their Jekyll and Hyde nature to lie convincingly. Bullies are clever, but you can be clever too.

Here's how:

Step 1:Regain Control.

Recognize what is happening to you as bullying. It is the bully who has the problem which he or she is projecting on to you.Criticisms and allegations, which are ostensibly about you or your performance and which sometimes have a grain (but only a grain) of truth, are not about you or your performance. Do not be fooled by that grain of truth into believing the criticisms and allegations have any validity they do not. The purpose of criticism is control; it has nothing to do with performance enhancement.Criticisms and allegations are a projection of the bully’s own weaknesses, shortcomings, failings and incompetence; every criticism or allegation is an admission by the bully of their misdeeds and wrongdoing, something they have said or done or did not do.You may be encouraged to feel shame, embarrassment, guilt, and fear this is a normal reaction, but misplaced and inappropriate. This is how all abusers, including child sex abusers, control and silence their victims.You cannot handle bullying by yourself bullies use deception, amoral behavior and abuse of power. Get help. There is no shame or failure in this the bully is devious, deceptive, evasive and manipulative and cheats. Often, the bully is behaving like a sociopath.

Step 2: Take Action.

Keep a log (journal, diary) of everything – it’s not each incident that counts, it’s the number, regularity and especially the pattern that reveal bullying. With most forms of mystery, deception, etc. the patterns are important. The bully can explain individual incidents but cannot explain away the pattern. It's the pattern which reveals intent.Keep your diary in a safe place, not at work where others can steal it; keep it at home and keep photocopies of important documents in a separate location (not at work); in several cases the bully has rifled the desk drawers of their target, stolen the diary and then used it as “evidence” of misconduct.Keep copies of all letters, memos, e-mails, etc. Get and keep everything in writing otherwise the bully will deny everything later.Carry a notepad and pen with you and record everything that the bully says and does. Also note every interaction with staff, management, and anyone else connected with the bullying. Expect to be accused of “misconduct” and a few other things when you do this.Record everything in writing; when criticisms or allegations are made, write and ask the bully to substantiate their criticisms and allegations in writing by providing substantive and quantifiable evidence. When the bully doesn’t reply or fails to supply substantive and quantifiable evidence, write again pointing out you’ve asked for justification and the bully has chosen not to reply or has not justified their claim. On the third occasion point out, in writing, that making allegations and refusing to substantiate them in writing or failing to provide substantive and quantifiable evidence is a form of harassment. The bully’s criticisms and allegations, which are usually founded on distortion, blame and fabrication, are an opinion or fabrication for control.Denial is everywhere. The person who asserts their right not to be bullied is often blowing the whistle on another’s incompetence (which the bullying is intended to hide). Expect the bully to deny everything, expect the bully’s superiors to deny and disbelieve everything, expect staff /human resources to disbelieve you and deny the bullying, for they will already have been deceived by the bully into joining in with the bully and getting rid of you.