Bumblebee, Bumblebee - Mors, Mors E-Book

Michael Hummel

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 44

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

"Bumblebee, Bumblebee - Mors, Mors" is not only a common greeting in Hamburg, but also the title of Michael Hummel's satirical volume of poetry. In short poems, the author takes us into the world of everyday life, which has plenty of bizarre things to offer. There is swearing about the lack of cake in the café, a toad croaks like Johann Wolfgang Goethe or philosophizing about the broadening of horizons through experiences of nature. And the whole thing is always spiced up with biting humor. It's worth taking a moment to linger between the lines.

Leseprobe

Foreword

I continue to educate myself by reading,

Some books are also cheerful.

I have now written this myself,

It's a bit dirty and sly.

By the sea: Hummel, Hummel - Humors, Humors

By the sea

The lugworm looks out of its hole and says: "You're the angler Michael, I know you! You're the strong one here again, but I don't want the hook! Buy the fish in the harbor, then I can go back to sleep."

*

The flounder is lying on the bottom, its camouflage dress is very colorful. A pike recognizes the tasty morsel. - I will miss the flounder very much!

*

The crab on the beach is beside itself. It sees a cutter in the distance and flees to its mother. The mother is full of grief: "Eat lobster instead! Finally do more for the environment and don't leave so much dirt behind!

I think an ocean without plastic would be fantastic. The fish would taste delicious and there would be no plastic eaters!"

*The perch swims around the oil rig, the workers all stare stupidly. The perch: "What have you done to me? Didn't you think about nature? I don't like oil in my feathers, the habitat is contaminated, I blame you. You need capital for environmental protection, that also saves the eel!"

Unfortunately, the pike in my pot has no head, the bones are sticking out, I think it's finished. His eyes are swimming in the broth, he's not doing too well! I'll pray for him, next time we'll have lampreys!

*The octopus in the sea world is a true womanizer, he can have one on each arm. If she is a feint, he scares her away with ink. Then a big grouper comes along and bites the octopus on the ass.

*

I'm playing a trick on the perch in my pond. I catch it with a fly and now it has to fear for its life. In the evening, it's on the plate next to the mortadella.

*The herring in the matjes tin is bursting with cellulose. It needs to be better protected, that would be good for our health.

*

Erna from Burgenland also likes to lie on the North Sea beach. With a cocktail in her hand, she goes out to catch men. She is smart and shows off her plump breasts. You can see the tips of her breasts glistening in the sun - if a man touches them, he will be seduced behind the beach chair.

Fide von der Waterkant has recognized the trend of the times. The sheep on the dyke all poop softly. Fide now also produces biogas in its own slurry tank.

*The oil sardine in the tin is not a mimosa. It lies between grains and spices, which should dismay people, as it was once a living creature and must now decompose in the old tin.

*

When I look at the sea, I think of sexual intercourse!

In the forest

I go stalking, because a stag is bellowing in the forest. He is about to mount the cow, the other animals are watching. After the lovemaking, the cow looks very intrigued. She thinks: "That's a brat with a huge cock!"

*

The woodpecker sits on his tree and can't believe his eyes. Below him, a man is sawing at his trunk. "Don't make those jokes, or you'll get a dumpling on your cap!"

*

If the toad is flattened, no amount of resurrection will help. So off into the soup, the toad doesn't care. However, the environmentalist warns that there is a hole in the Animal Protection Act.

*

The beetle on the tree: "This place is a dream come true for me - all those nimble bees, they can serve me with honey. There's a very special scent in the air. The sun shines on my belly, as it should."

*

The frog is delighted: "The fly is crazy!" But he failed to catch it, it flies away right under his nose and tells the frog cheekily: "You'd better find yourself a wife, you gluttonous sow. Give up fly luck and you won't get fat!"

*

Lice in the pubic hair are evidence of monkey mating.

*

I can stink like a polecat in the wilderness,

If I'm with the women, I have to steal a bar of soap first.

*

Timo didn't shoot the monkeys, he took them to his heart. He was taken in by them because the monkeys quickly realized that he had their temperament. He also likes to eat bananas - just like his ancestors. He likes to shimmy from branch to branch, he is so fast, the monkey guest.

Agriculture

The farmer sits in the barn: "I don't want to go into space. Especially not to Mars, that would be a farce."

The cow dung in your nose, that's when you know you're at home.

The cat is lying behind the stove and is pooping, when the mouse comes out of its hole and says: "Catch me!"

The cat: "Once I've got you in my paws, all you'll hear is loud smacking."

*