Don't Look Back E-Book

Amaya Lowell

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 251

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

A weekend with no regrets, no consequences and no future, but full of passion and unforgettable moments... Marra Flores loves her quiet life in the country with her faithful cat and her party service. But three men from her past and a class reunion change everything. Layton Reed, Valerian King and Jasper Bailey return and old longings awaken. A spontaneous proposal leads to a weekend of intense passion and unrestrained lust. Between long awaited confessions, late night swims, a chaotic wedding crash and unexpected feelings, Marra comes between the three men and questions everything. But what happens when the weekend is over and time is up? Welcome to the world of the Rewikan Empire. Dont Look Back is the first part of The Beginner Trilogy one of the three prequels to the Empire. Have fun!

Leseprobe

For those who simply want to pursue their needs.

Without consequences.

Note on the English Edition

This novel was originally written in German and translated into English using DeepL as a linguistic base. Every chapter was then manually revised, restructured and stylistically refined by the author.

This is not an AI-written book. No content or creative scenes were generated using artificial intelligence. The author used AI strictly as a tool for linguistic support in translation, not for writing.

Mix-CD

Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash

So Anxious - Ginuwine

Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry

Sex & Candy - Marcy Playground

The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson

Kiss - Prince

Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) - Joan Jett & the

Blackhearts

I Love Rock'N Roll - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera

Waterfalls - TLC

I Touch Myself - Divinyls

Proud Mary - Tina Turner

Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham!

This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan, Wino

Stop - Spice Girls

Authors Note

Warning: This book may contain content that is not suitable for all readers. It contains dark themes, explicit scenes and mental health issues. Recommended for ages 18+.

Don't Look Back is a story set in the Rewikan Empire and is not part of one of the main series, so can be read as a standalone.

It is set in Asheville, a small town in the US state of North Carolina.

On page → you will find a list of explicit content - possible spoilers!

Lots of love,

Amy

Freedom

Table of Contents

1 Cassettes and ties

Marra

2 The baksetball player

Marra

3 The weekend deal

Marra

4 Raised weapons and a lot of patience

Marra

5 Tequila around 0 o'clock

Layton

6 Piercings and forbidden honey

Marra

7 Blanket fight and Italian love poems

Marra

8 Silhouettes

Valerian

9 Pancakes with cherries

Marra

10 Steam bath

Jasper

11 Best wedding ever

Marra

12 Castle wall

Valerian

13 Escaping the ex-girlfriend

Jasper

14 Skinny Dipping

Marra

15 Some weed

Marra

16 Bambi

Layton

17 The fire wins

Marra

18 Competition without a jury

Valerian

19 Firefly

Jasper

20 Paparazzi

Marra

Epilogue

Layton

Acknowledgments

Trigger Warning – Content Note

| Friday, September 1, 2000

Asheville, 5:09 PM |

1

Cassettes and ties

Marra

I'm trudging through the tall grass in my cowboy boots, bootcut jeans, a full basket and a raised hand in front of my eyes. My beautiful red, and incredibly expensive, '98 Dodge Ram 1500 Quad Cab is parked on the side of the road, bathed in a beautiful light of red, yellow and orange from the setting sun.

My father didn't give me much leeway when it came to choosing my own car.

At first I drove his old K5 Blazer because he didn't have enough money to buy me a “girl's car” after I graduated from high school.

His words, not mine. But when the time came for me to get my first car - he decided for me. He thought the Dodge suited me perfectly: rustic, reliable, a few scratches but loved. And I still don't know whether that's a compliment or an insult.

But my dad was right, I love my Dodge. It has a gray cloth upholstery and still smells a bit like cigarettes from the previous owner. Cranking the windows can be exhausting, but it's always worth it when the wind blows through my hair afterwards. But what I like best is the rumbling sound when it starts - sometimes it takes several attempts.

Sighing, I drop into the driver's seat, pull the door shut, which squeaks into the lock, insert a new cassette into the deck - Johnny Cash with “Folsom Prison Blues” - and let the engine roar to life.

My little red tank, not particularly pretty but mine.

Before I set off, I carefully place the basket on the back seat and check once again that I have everything I need.

I can use the flowers I've collected to make wreaths for Miss Jolly, who has booked me for her granddaughter's birthday. My little craft sells well, albeit slowly at first. I'm glad I live near the forest and have enough resources to get by most of the time and not have to reorder anything.

I drive home, where Leo - my cat - is already waiting for me, purring and meowing, and when I arrive in the kitchen I pop in the next cassette so that “So Anxious” by Ginuwine is blaring through my apartment.

Humming, I tidy up the things I left lying all over the place this morning, give Leo a few treats and then go to my tiny closet. I really couldn't have picked a worse one. But before I moved into my new apartment, I lived in a tiny one in Asheville. With a roommate.

Moving out of Asheville and finding something cute and small in the quiet town of Weaverville was the best idea that came to mind. Asheville is also very quiet and close to nature, but there is more hustle and bustle there than here.

However, today is our annual class reunion where everyone finds the time to get together. Most of the time these reunions are totally lame and a waste of time, but I still do them every year.

And that's why I need something decent to wear.

Leo can spend the evening alone and I suspect I won't be gone long either way.

Old school parties are always dull.

When I leave the house, I'm wearing an eye-catching pleated top in a bright, summery yellow that makes my sun-kissed skin glow. It's figure-hugging and ends just above my waist, and I've paired it with short, dark blue jeans that look smart but not too overdressed for a night out. My white, high boots add the finishing touch to my outfit and I feel really confident again for the first time in a long time. I rarely dress up for anything, but even my face is adorned with frosty eyeshadow and pale pink lipstick. My hair falls in soft waves over my shoulders and I wear rings and bracelets. I hope I don't look too over the top and extreme, but I guess some of my old classmates will look a lot worse. One thing I can't miss, though: my bag, which contains more bits and bobs than my Great Aunt Rose's bedside drawer. It's not perfect - from lip balm to crumpled receipts and old hair clips - but that's why it suits me.

Probably just like the Dodge.

The drive doesn't take long, only about 15 minutes, and then I'm already standing in front of the restaurant I've been invited to tonight.

The memories of my school days fluctuate between frustration and humor.

Small groups are already gathering outside the front door and I notice people I would rather not see.

But I also recognize my old school friend Elara, a Western European beauty with short-cropped brown hair, tanned skin and chocolate-colored eyes.

Sighing, I get out, pull my bag behind me and greet my old friend.

She tells me about her new job in Chicago, about the man she met and married there, but who unfortunately can't be here today - there's too much to do at work. I also chat briefly with a few others, Owen, an old classmate and humorous guy, sits down next to me when we find our seats in the restaurant's common room.

His blond hair hangs a little in his eyes and he keeps running his fingers through his hair, like an uncontrollable tic, as we talk about the last years in Asheville. He divorced his wife a few weeks ago and took custody of his two sons, who are now staying with a friend.

“And you?”

The question catches me off guard. He knows that I no longer live in this area. When I moved, I had hoped that they would think I was doing it because of a man.

But that's absolutely not the case. “I've opened a small event and party service and got myself a cat,” I begin, “his name is Leo.” I immediately feel like a retarded child, but Owen smiles gently at me. I suppose it's better than having a failed marriage and being a single dad.

As the food is served, I look through the other rows of tables and notice three men dressed more finely and expensively than the others. At that moment, I feel strange in my outfit.

I take a closer look and recognize them.

The suits must be expensive. The way they have rolled up the white sleeves of their shirts and are wearing a tie around their necks... they look like they're not from around here.

But I know better - I went to school with them for many years.

Layton Reed, Jasper Bailey and Valerian King.

“I've noticed them too,” Owen says, leaning over to me, “weird, right?”

They haven't shown up at a reunion in years. They haven't shown up since they turned their backs on Asheville. Why would they? They've obviously built something big.

Dana, the girl sitting next to me like in the old school days, joins in the conversation and leans over to us. With her fork to her lip, she starts to grin.

“They were in the local paper - they've really made it big and earned a lot of money.” The rest of the evening passes quietly, unpacking old stories and reminiscing as if it were only yesterday. Owen and Dana bicker and provoke each other, but it's entertaining and funny. They were the same back then.

A couple of old classmates give a speech and we get treated to something new, with me also having my glass refilled at every opportunity. I can't avoid looking over at the three men, who seem to be very introverted. They only chat here and there with people in their seating area and otherwise concentrate on the food and the program on offer in the middle of the room. If there are no speeches, then there are little dance interludes and games that we used to play.

I keep a low profile and stay glued to my chair. It's also much easier to watch from my position anyway.

Layton and I used to get on well and were even close friends in private. The older we got, the further apart we grew, but we stayed in touch through school and often talked or joked with each other.

However, I had very little to do with Valerian and Jasper. Apart from computer science lessons, which I enjoyed with all three of them, I only knew Jasper and Valerian from geography lessons.

I lick my lips and take another sip of the champagne they offer us.

Thoughtful and lost in old memories, I finish my dessert when the chair next to me is pulled back and Layton sits down next to me. I immediately start to grin. He still has his strawberry-honey blonde hair, which curls slightly, and the amber eyes.

As my gaze moves from his pointed smile down to his hands, I notice the silver ring he's always worn before. He looks different and familiar at the same time.

A little wider and taller, firmer and more serious.

Damn attractive.

A soft warmth rises in my cheeks as I notice the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at me. How long has it been? Far too long, and strangely, it feels like he's never been away and like he's sitting next to me every day. At the same time, it robs me of the ability to breathe properly.

“We haven't seen each other for a long time, Mar.” When he calls me by my old, now extinct nickname, my heart warms, but I return his wide grin. “Looks like you had a good time,” I say and he nods faintly. He runs a hand through his hair and blinks a few times. “Yeah, we made good use of the time. It's nice to see you again.”

“I hope so, who isn't happy to see me?”

I can't help but notice that the others at the table glance at us, and Jasper and Valerian seem to have noticed me too, but they stay in their seats.

Layton picks up on my joke and winks at me.

“Of course I'm only here because of you, dearest Marra. The last few years have been very lonely without you.”

My heart pounds against my chest, even though he's only saying it as a joke.

It's just a joke.

A joke.

“It must have been like rehab,” I continue, and Layton laughs. His mouth twists in the same way as before, only controlled, but his upper body quivers as if he's trying to hold it back a little.

Then he shakes his head. “You haven't changed at all, Marra.”

I shrug my shoulders. “The real deal.”

I enjoy joking with him again and exchanging some news. I ask him about a few old acquaintances he probably has more to do with than me, and when he's finished his water, he politely says goodbye to me and goes back to his seat.

Dana slowly creeps back after returning from the restroom and gives me a conspiratorial look. “What was that all about?” She knows there was a spark between me and Layton once, when we were much younger, but it never turned into anything more.

His eyes have always made my knees weak, just like his cheeky grin and sweet nature. I remember lying with my head on his chest and him running his fingers soothingly over my hair when I was stoned and tired while we enjoyed time with friends. Everyone went to find a room, but I crawled into bed with him and we talked all night long.

That was the first and last time we got that close.

With my cheeks flushed with inner heat, I spend the next few minutes trying to steer the conversation between Dana, Owen and I onto something else and avoiding Layton's gaze. I wonder if he remembers.

As more and more people get ready to leave, I get up from my chair and say goodbye to my old friends. It was nice to see them again and I have to admit that the evening didn't go as badly as I had expected. It wasn't nearly as boring as the last few times either, because this time we had some exciting guests.

I cast a sideways glance at Layton's seat, but realize that he's no longer there, nor is Valerian, and only Jasper is sitting there, staring at his little push-button phone.

“Maybe, if you feel like it, we can see each other more often now?” I turn my gaze to Owen, who is gradually getting ready to go home to his sons. “Yes, why not. I'd love to,” I accept his offer and hug him one last time before making my way to the exit of the hall.

Yawning, I walk through the decorated hallway, thank the nice waiters from tonight as I pass by and then push the door open with a sigh.

I wipe my face, walk down the few steps and am scared to death when I see the man staring hungrily and darkly into my eyes.

| Friday, September 1, 2000

Asheville, 7:59 PM |

2

The baksetball player

Marra

In the meantime, Valerian has taken off his suit jacket and hung it over the seat of the black Harley, against which he leans and smokes. He looks at me as if he's trying to solve a riddle and tilts his head, causing my stomach to flip upside down and do a few loops.

My goodness, was this guy this hot before?

The music from the restaurant radio trills out to us through a couple of open windows, and I have to smile gently as I recognize the song. It's “Play That Funky Music” by Wild Cherry.

Cigarette smoke rises into the cool evening air and his dark blue eyes look focused - seeing only me.

His light blond hair is tousled and untamed. He used to wear caps, but today he stands here, the tailored suit, the narrow pants - a clear statement against his old world. His cigarette glows as he takes another drag. It is already dark and only the lights of the restaurant let me recognize him.

Unsure whether I should say anything to him - after all, it would be the first time in many years - I just keep walking and try to get past him. The way he looks at me eats holes in my body and it feels like he's sucking my whole existence out of me.

When I'm level with him, he stands up straight and lets off his motorcycle. My heart beats from my chest into my head so that I can feel it pounding against my skull, and I blink nervously at him.

Valerian is the type of man who can do anything and look sexy as hell doing it. He could walk around shirtless, with a scarf wrapped around his head and shorts, and no one would think to look askance at him, because everything else about him... is just about perfect.

I can't put into words exactly what it is. The little moles on his face that come together like a work of art and make him unique? The piercing eyes in combination with his thin but always amused lips? The straight nose that tapers towards the end? His body, which is perhaps not as broad as Layton's and rather narrower, but still athletic and attractive? Or his charisma and posture, which is dark, cold and at the same time attractive and appealing?

Whatever it is, I get incredibly hot when he's still looking at me and doesn't even seem to blink.

I stop next to him.

I don't know why, but it's a reaction from my body that I simply have no control over.

“You look even better than you did then,” he says. His voice has become deeper, rougher. I almost choke on the thin air as I realize the meaning of his words.

I bite my lower lip and grip my bag tighter with my fingers. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

He throws his cigarette butt on the floor and slides his hands into his pants pockets. Seeing him in this suit somehow doesn't suit him at all. It looks like he's wearing a shell.

“I've always thought you were hot,” he admits, and my cheeks glow. I shift my weight to the other leg and hold my breath in surprise.

I want to ask him how he can say that so openly and directly, but how do you ask something like that? But I don't even get a chance, because then he continues. “There's no reason not to tell you. I might not have dared back then, but there's nothing wrong with it now, is there, little Mar? I'll be on a plane back to New York in a few hours.” I swallow.

Excuse me?

Is he completely out of his mind?

“What are you getting at? A one-night stand?”

I've never really known what he thinks of me. Valerian would give me the occasional glance in class, watching me when he thought I wouldn't notice. My heart has run a marathon every time I've caught even a hint of his attention.

He laughs softly and harshly, shaking his head in amusement. “I'm just being honest with you, little one. But even if I was up for a one-night stand with you, would that be a bad thing?”

He comes closer to me, so that his breath almost touches my skin, and I could scream in frustration when it doesn't.

Where are these old feelings coming from all of a sudden?

“I don't get into bed with strange men.”

A weak statement - but I can't think of anything better.

After leaving school, I completely forgot about them and never looked back - just like the three of them. Class reunions are the only thing I attend, and probably only to get upset about it later.

But he, just like Layton and Jasper, has never been there.

And now I spend an evening in the same room as these three men and all my darkest desires come flooding back?

Maybe I'm the one who's lost my mind, too.

His right eye twitches.

“That's probably for the best. But we're not strangers and you know it.”

“If we're not strangers, even though we haven't seen each other in at least six years, then what are we?” He doesn't answer me directly, scrutinizing my face, and I wonder if he can hear my rapidly beating heart.

His unashamed beauty distracts me from the thought that I actually wanted to go home long ago, and the courage behind this conversation makes me feel pure pride.

“Old acquaintances. Two souls who know each other well and are meeting again after a long time, little Mar.” I feel like I'm 18 again and like those effervescent feelings never went away, but then he comes even closer to me, closer than ever, and I can see the little dark spots in his blue eyes. “I bet you're dirtier than you act.”

Speechless and completely dumbfounded, I look at him. His lips twist into a cynical, beautiful smile, his eyes shining, and I feel like he's captivating me with it. With just one smile, he manages to capture all my attention. Suddenly he's even closer, putting an arm around my waist and pulling me towards him.

I gasp and hold on to his shoulders, the tips of our noses gently touching. He's searching for something in my eyes, but I'm not quite sure what. I don't know if he'll find what he's looking for.

“And I bet you think I'm just as hot as I used to be.” I feel his hands dig into my skin and our warm bodies snuggle together.

When I gently shake my head, his eyes darken and he tilts his head slightly.

Just fuck it.

Go all in, Marra.

“No. Even hotter than before,” I whisper.

This man is the epitome of pure attraction and appeal.

In the next moment, his mouth captures mine and I wrap my arms around his neck. I could swear that my heart is going to explode at any moment and the pulsation of lust inside me will increase immeasurably.

It feels like someone has poured a can of gasoline inside me and lit it on fire - I'm doing something I dreamed of as a young girl and thought I'd never achieve.

I never dared to approach him about this attraction, I wished I could but I knew Valerian King wasn't into relationships. So why with me then?

And yet, almost seven years later, I'm standing in his arms, his lips pressed against mine and our bodies nestled close together.

I'm getting wet and can feel his trousers bulging at my crotch and pressing hard against me. Gasping, I break off the kiss only to meet his intense, hungry gaze, which makes me slide even deeper into his arms.

I have no idea what's wrong with me or why I'm doing this. I've never done anything like this before.

But I don't give a shit at the moment.

There's no place I'd rather be than here.

Our lips meet again and when his tongue brushes against my teeth, I let him explore my mouth. My hands move into his hair and I claw into it, his fingers grip me tighter, he leans down further, getting faster, more intense. Our tongues circle each other, our breath is almost exhausted, but we just keep going.

His hand slides to my ass and he holds it tight, the other reaches into my hair and pulls my head back.

It is a fire that ignites inside me. And it's looking for oxygen, mixed with adrenaline.

I squeeze my thighs together to escape the wetness and the tingling, but it's no use. Breathing heavily, we look at each other and I start to smile broadly.

Bloody hell.

“That alone was worth putting on this shitty suit and being dragged here. The only moment that doesn't feel like a waste of time. You're the only reason I'd willingly come back to this dump.” I can hear the arousal in his raspy voice and I have to squint my eyes to keep from pouncing on him again.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Shit, even me made that horny.”

I jerk away from Valerian and look towards the entrance of the restaurant, where Jasper is leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth, looking at us. Has he been watching us the whole time?

Fuck.

I laugh nervously and take a few more steps back, but Valerian stops me, grabs my hand and pulls me close again. “Don't be shy, little Mar,” he whispers in my ear, but I look back and forth between him and Jasper. “He was here the whole time.”

“And what did he see? That we're having fun together? You have nothing to be ashamed of, I bet he still has perverted thoughts in his little head.”

He pulls me behind him and I guess I just let it happen because I'm too overwhelmed to resist. We join Jasper on the restaurant's veranda and I lean against the railing to at least get some distance and take a deep breath.

“I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” I hear Jasper say, and I lift my gaze - look at him hesitantly.

Jasper Bailey in a suit looks like a music video playing on MTV while you eat chips out of a bag and wonder if this is your life right now.

He's huge. Like someone who plays basketball but doesn't talk about it much. His brown hair is sticking out in all directions, tousled as always, like the wind has been playing spin the bottle with him. But his brown eyes are still the same - warm and loyal - and as they look at me for a moment, I forget that he's not standing in front of me in his usual jeans and loose-fitting tank top. Instead, he's wearing the same suit, his tie loosely tied as if he's about to rip it off his neck at any moment.

He looks good, far too good.

Still, he looks like he'd rather throw himself back into his comfy shorts, with a smile that can say “I don't take you seriously” and “I'd go to war for you” at the same time.

“It's alright, I guess.” Valerian lights another cigarette and offers me one, but I quickly decline.

I look back and forth between the two men in front of me.

I should go home.

Yes, I should do that.

But I feel like I'm stuck to the railing and their intense, engaging gazes are holding me.

Overwhelmed, I rub my bare arms.

“When's Lay coming?” Valerian turns to his friend, who shrugs his shoulders and takes another drag. “Should be out soon. He seems to have even less desire to sit here among the idiots since Marra left the hall.”

I swallow at his words, look to the lanterns and blink.

I know his words were meant to get my attention - and they worked.

“How come you've never been here in the last few years,” I say without looking at them, “if you don't mind me asking.”

Valerian blows out a puff of smoke and grins crookedly. “There's nothing here for us.” Jasper gives him a warning look, which he skillfully ignores.

“Lay and Val were planning to run off and build a career months before we graduated. When Jadie and I broke up, I didn't think twice and went with them. And it's not easy to build a business, even with three people. But it worked out.”

Yes, and quite well, I see. Valerian wears an expensive watch on his left wrist, and even if he doesn't really like the suit, it's still very expensive. Not that I know anything about it, but I know that my father had to save forever for my degree to be able to afford a suit.

“I guess the crash course for stocks in computer science helped after all,” I joke, hoping I'm not getting completely off topic. But Valerian grins even wider at my words and Jasper nods slightly with a laugh. “I suppose you could say that. Kings Strategies, the company, is all about stocks and finance. We play chess with the financial market, not poker. Val comes up with strategies, Lay reads the numbers, and I... well, I make sure the place runs. We help the rich get richer and earn more than is good for us. But it's also incredibly time-consuming. Even if we had wanted to, we simply wouldn't have had time to visit Asheville.”

“Which we definitely didn't wanted - visiting Asheville, I mean. It's terrible here. We don't even have a place to stay for the night,” Valerian interrupts him and throws his cigarette over the railing into the flower bed.

“Then why are you here?” I ask. I don't even go into the whole financial thing because I don't understand half of what Jasper is trying to explain to me anyway. My arms are covered in goosebumps and I rub them gently, trying to regain some warmth.

“Layton and I were more or less forced here because that idiot got an invitation from his ex.” I raise my right eyebrow and look to Jasper, who raises his arms innocently and then smiles softly at me. I haven't seen Jadie at all today. If she invited him, where is she?

“Jadie's getting married tomorrow.”

Oh. Who invites their ex-boyfriend to their wedding? It could hardly be more tactless. I'm assuming they didn't break up on good terms if Jasper ran off to New York to avoid seeing her.

He nervously kicks a small stone away and tilts his head. “I know it was probably more stupid than smart to accept the invitation. But I didn't want things to get awkward between us.”