Fatherhood - Philosophy for Everyone E-Book

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Serie: Philosophy for Everyone
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 416

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

FATHERHOOD PHILOSOPHY FOR EVERYONE FATHERHOOD PHILOSOPHY FOR EVERYONE It has been said that being a father is what finally gives a man his meaning in life. And a father's role has never been so involved - or expectations so high. There's a lot for dads to discover, and as Socrates demonstrated, learning really begins when we as fathers realize how little we know. But, no fear, help is at hand as Fatherhood - Philosophy for Everyone offers wisdom and practical advice drawn from the annals of philosophy, exploring paternal concerns such as: * Fatherhood and the meaning of life * The impact of change in men who become fathers * How to raise well-adjusted children and have a more fulfilling and enjoyable experience of fatherhood * Do real fathers bake cookies? Both thought-provoking and practical, Fatherhood - Philosophy for Everyone provides a valuable starting and ending point for reflecting on this crucial role.

Leseprobe

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

PART I THE IMPACT OF BEING A FATHER

CHAPTER 1 FATHER TIME AND FATHERHOOD

The Present Moment

Sterner on Returning to the Present

Clock Time and Experienced Time

CHAPTER 2 HOW FATHERHOOD WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

The Meaning of the World in Heidegger

Immortality

The World of the Man-Child

Knocked Up

Stillbirth

After You, the World Will Always Be Empty

CHAPTER 3 THE BORN IDENTITY

Identity Transitions

Connection or Alienation?

“I want to be involved”

Rites of Passage

Daddy at Last

Postscript

CHAPTER 4 FATHERHOOD AND THE MEANING OF LIFE

PART II ETHICS AND PARENTING STYLES

CHAPTER 5 IN VIRTUE OF UPBRINGING

On Ethical Choices

Aristotle on Character

Will-to-Power

Caring and Justice

Stacking the Deck

CHAPTER 6 DOES MY FATHER CARE?

Caring About Caring

A Face Only a Mother Could Love?

Tough Love: Paternalism as a Form of Caring

Paternalism is Not Justice by Another Name

Can My Dad Care Too Much?

The Importance of Tough Love

CHAPTER 7 HOW SHOULD I PARENT?

Father as Protector and the Baby Product Industry

Fatherhood During Infancy

Father as Gender Enforcer

The Role of the Father in Developing the Moral Child

Fatherhood and Parenting Styles

Child Temperament and Fathering Style

Teaching Our Boys to Be Fathers

CHAPTER 8 FATHERING FOR FREEDOM

Why a Philosophy of Fatherhood?

Role Responsibilities

Autonomy

Autonomy and Fatherhood

Conclusion

PART III KEEPING IT REAL

CHAPTER 9 REAL FATHERS BAKE COOKIES

Two Views of Authenticity

Being a Real Father

CHAPTER 10 MAYBE HAPPINESS IS LOVING OUR FATHER

Humanizing Ritual: Finding the Way to Say “I Love You”

Plato and Confucius: The Importance of the Father-Son Relationship

The Guide of Excellence: Making Sense of the Master

Making Sense of Virtue: Excelling at Relating

From Theory to Practice: Wisely Applied

Wisely Balancing Discipline

Conclusion: Building a Happy Family on Ritual, Excellence, and Wisdom

CHAPTER 11 AUTHENTIC FATHERHOOD

Authentic Fatherhood in Traditional Yoruba Thought

Yoruba Proverbs and Folktales

Yoruba Lessons for Contemporary Fathers

Conclusion: An Intercultural Understanding of Fatherhood

CHAPTER 12 THE HEART OF THE MERCIFUL FATHER

What is a Father?

Fatherly Mercy as Attitude

Mercy Enables Connection with Children

Mercy Strengthens Relationships

What Does Fatherly Mercy Look Like?

PART IV DILEMMAS FOR DAD

CHAPTER 13 SHOULD I LET HIM WATCH?

Y, E10+, G, Y7, eC, E, PG?

The Causal Hypothesis: Baby See, Baby Do

The Edification Hypothesis: I Learned Something Good from Watching Something Bad

The Catharsis Hypothesis: I’m So Mad I Should Pretend To Kill You

Conclusion: The Decision, Like Fatherhood, is Full of Ambiguities

CHAPTER 14 FATHERING FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE

Learning Difference

Against Ignoring Difference

I Am Because We Are and We Are Because I Am

Practicing Just Parenting

Teaching Alienation?

CHAPTER 15 LIKE FATHER LIKE SON?

CHAPTER 16 FATHER’S IDEALS AND CHILDREN’S LIVES

CHAPTER 17 DADS AND DAUGHTERS

Interests and Obligations

Self-Knowledge

Moral Development Through Humility, Courage, and Wisdom

Character and the Common Good

Further Down the Road

Appendix A: Cookie Recipes for Dads

Dr. Joseph Cavanaugh’s Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

Dr. Dan Collins-Cavanaugh’s Reduced Calorie and Reduced Fat Black and White Chocolate Chip Cookies

Appendix B: Wisdom of Youth

What Does Your Dad Do?

What Is A Father?

What Have You Learned From Your Dad?

What Is Philosophy?

Other Bits of Wisdom

Final Thoughts on Daddies

NOTES ON CONTRIBUTORS

VOLUME EDITORS

LON S. NEASE is a PhD student in the Philosophy Department at the University of Cincinnati. He holds an MA in Philosophy from the University of Kentucky, where he studied phenomenology and existentialism. Nease has published on post-Kantian ethical theory.

MICHAEL W. AUSTIN is an Associate Professor of Philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University. His books include Running and Philosophy (Wiley-Blackwell, 2007), Conceptions of Parenthood (2007), Football and Philosophy:Going Deep (2008), and Wise Stewards (2009).

SERIES EDITOR

FRITZ ALLHOFF is an Assistant Professor in the Philosophy Department at Western Michigan University, as well as a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian National University’s Centre for Applied Philosophy and Public Ethics. In addition to editing the Philosophy for Everyone series, Allhoff is the volume editor or co-editor for several titles, including Wine & Philosophy (Wiley-Blackwell, 2007), Whiskey & Philosophy (with Marcus P. Adams, Wiley, 2009), and Food & Philosophy (with Dave Monroe, Wiley-Blackwell, 2007).

PHILOSOPHY FOR EVERYONE

Series editor: Fritz Allhoff

Not so much a subject matter, philosophy is a way of thinking. Thinking not just about the Big Questions, but about little ones too. This series invites everyone to ponder things they care about, big or small, significant, serious … or just curious.

Running & Philosophy: A Marathon for the Mind

Edited by Michael W. Austin

Wine & Philosophy: A Symposium on Thinking and Drinking

Edited by Fritz Allhoff

Food & Philosophy: Eat, Think and Be Merry

Edited by Fritz Allhoff and Dave Monroe

Beer & Philosophy: The Unexamined Beer Isn’t Worth Drinking

Edited by Steven D. Hales

Whiskey & Philosophy: A Small Batch of Spirited Ideas

Edited by Fritz Allhoff and Marcus P. Adams

College Sex – Philosophy for Everyone: Philosophers With Benefits

Edited by Michael Bruceand Robert M. Stewart

Cycling – Philosophy for Everyone: A Philosophical Tour de Force

Edited by Jesús Ilundáin-Agurruza and Michael W. Austin

Climbing – Philosophy for Everyone: Because It’s There

Edited by Stephen E. Schmid

Hunting – Philosophy for Everyone: In Search of the Wild Life

Edited by Nathan Kowalsky

Christmas – Philosophy for Everyone: Better Than a Lump of Coal

Edited by Scott C. Lowe

Cannabis – Philosophy for Everyone: What Were We Just Talking About?

Edited by Dale Jacquette

Porn – Philosophy for Everyone: How to Think With Kink

Edited by Dave Monroe

Serial Killers – Philosophy for Everyone: Being and Killing

Edited by S. Waller

Dating – Philosophy for Everyone: Flirting With Big Ideas

Edited by Kristie Miller and Marlene Clark

Gardening – Philosophy for Everyone: Cultivating Wisdom

Edited by Dan O’Brien

Motherhood – Philosophy for Everyone: The Birth of Wisdom

Edited by Sheila Lintott

Fatherhood – Philosophy for Everyone: The Dao of Daddy

Edited by Lon S. Nease and Michael W. Austin

Forthcoming books in the series:

Fashion – Philosophy for Everyone

Edited by Jessica Wolfendale and Jeanette Kennett

Coffee – Philosophy for Everyone

Edited by Scott Parker and Michael W. Austin

Blues – Philosophy for Everyone

Edited by Abrol Fairweather and Jesse Steinberg

This edition first published 2010© 2010 Blackwell Publishing Ltd except for editorial material and organization© 2010 Lon S. Nease and Michael W. Austin

Blackwell Publishing was acquired by John Wiley & Sons in February 2007. Blackwell’s publishing program has been merged with Wiley’s global Scientific, Technical, and Medical business to form Wiley-Blackwell.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Fatherhood – philosophy for everyone: the Dao of daddy / edited by Lon S. Nease and Michael W. Austin.

p. cm. – (Philosophy for everyone)

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-4443-3031-1 (pbk.: alk. paper) 1. Fatherhood. 2. Philosophy. I. Nease, Lon S. II. Austin, Michael W. III. Title: Fatherhood – philosophy for everyone.

HQ756.F38246 2010

173–dc22

2010004719

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

To my daughter Leona, who has made this experience so wonderful.

Lon

To Sophie, Emma, and Haley, for the patience they show and the joy they bring.

Mike

ADRIENNE BURGESS

FOREWORD

In my own writing and research on fatherhood, I’ve explored the roles played by fathers in the past and present, the impact of fathers for both good and ill on their children and their children’s mothers, whether good fathers are born or made, and many of the related public policy issues. One thing that I have discovered is that we can learn a lot by identifying and reflecting on our assumptions about fatherhood. By examining the different ideas about fatherhood in the ancient and modern worlds, studying the diaries of fathers, interviewing present-day fathers, and making use of other kinds of empirical research, we learn something that most of us already knew: fathers matter. When we consider fathers and their roles in these ways, we can gain a deeper appreciation for what it means to be a father as well as some significant insights into how to be a good father. The fantastic book in your hands shares these same goals.

You might be wondering what Aristotle or Confucius has to say to contemporary fathers, or whether the ideas of philosophers can be useful to men navigating the life of a dad in the twenty-first century. Do the thoughts of such people have any relevance for the dads of today? Perhaps surprisingly, the answer is a resounding yes. The writers in Fatherhood – Philosophy for Everyone offer us their thoughts about the impact of being a father on children and on men, ethical issues related to different parenting styles, what it means to be an authentic father – and wrap up with advice for dads on some of the dilemmas that they face. They address such questions as:

How can fathers instill values in their children while also giving them the freedom to choose their own values?What is involved in the art of raising a good person?How can dads with daughters deal with the particular challenges they face?How can fathers instill a passion for social justice in their children?How can psychology help fathers excel in the role of “Dad”?How should fathers deal with the influence of popular culture in the lives of their children?

These are just the sorts of issues that contemporary fathers care about, and the answers given in this book by men and women from different cultures, professions, and perspectives will give fathers and fathers-to-be (and the mothers of their children) much food for thought.

As you’ll see, this isn’t dry academic philosophy. This book is practical, insightful, and even fun. Drawing on the insights available from philosophy, psychology, religion, and anthropology, the contributors to this book have provided dads with help and insight from the collective wisdom of the ages that can better enable them to understand, appreciate, and fulfill their roles. Any father who takes the time to think about and then put into practice some of the ideas in the pages that follow will be glad that he did – and so will his children!

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

First off, we would like to thank each of the contributors for being a part of this book. They are philosophers, psychologists, and anthropologists; but also fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters, each bringing their own unique perspective to what it means to be a dad and how to be the kind of dad that children need. The wisdom, insight, and practical help found on the pages that follow are a result of their hard and excellent work. We have learned much about fatherhood from each one of them.

We are also grateful to Fritz Allhoff, Jeff Dean, Tiffany Mok, and everyone at Wiley-Blackwell for their advice, enthusiasm, and support. We appreciate the part that each of them played in the creation of this book.

Finally, we would like to thank our families. Their patience and support were invaluable from start to finish. They have made fatherhood one of the greatest privileges we could imagine.

Lon S. NeaseMichael W. Austin

LON S. NEASE AND MICHAEL W. AUSTIN

INTRODUCTION

Fathering the Idea

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

Confucius

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

Friedrich Nietzsche

What does it mean to be a dad? Strangely enough, throughout the world and throughout history, this question has often been neglected. For one of the most important roles that a man can take in life, relatively little has been put to paper. Sure, we’ve all encountered the stereotypes of family protector, breadwinner, and disciplinarian, but that only begins to scratch the surface. And it’s not even clear that those are essential to being a father – especially now.

Over the last half century there have been so many social and economic changes, that it’s not an exaggeration to say the concept of fatherhood is being recreated or even created before our eyes. Families have typically become smaller and more mobile, with little or no support network close by. Women are working as much as men in many societies. Studies are increasingly showing the importance of a father’s presence to the wellbeing of a child.