Grief in Your Words E-Book

Harriet Hodgson

• Herausgeber: WriteLife Publishing
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

Feel like you're stuck in grief? Write your way out by following the steps in this concise, easy-to-use book.

You need to tell your grief story. This book helps you do it with tips on your thinking place, writing place, how to write, what to write, and resources to boost your spirits.

Grief in Your Words helps you create a path to the future.

Leseprobe

Grief in Your Words: How Writing Helps You Heal

© 2024 by Harriet Hodgson. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

The information and recommendations in this book are presented in good faith and for informational purposes only. Every effort has been made to ensure the materials presented are accurate and current. All information is supplied on the condition that the reader or any other person receiving this information will perform their own due diligence and make their own determination as to its suitability for any purpose prior to use of this information. The purpose of this material is to educate. The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information contained in this book.

Published in the United States by WriteLife Publishing

(an imprint of Boutique of Quality Books Publishing Company, Inc.)

www.writelife.com

978-1-60808-297-1 (p)

978-1-60808-298-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024931292

Book design by Robin Krauss, www.bookformatters.com

Cover design by Rebecca Lown, www.rebeccalowndesign.com

First Editor: Andrea Vande Vorde

Second Editor: Allison Itterly

Praise for Harriet Hodgson and Grief in Your Words

“We rationally know that death is a part of the human experience; nevertheless, when we lose a loved one to death, rationality takes a back seat to unrelenting grief. Ms. Hodgson’s Grief in Your Words supplies a welcome avenue for healing through expressing our thoughts via the written word.

Her powerful yet sensitive statements about grief, accompanied by practical exercises, lead the reader toward a better understanding of the process of grieving and offer guidance and words of comfort through difficult states when any sense of control might seem distant. An important book.”

Bonnie Johnson, PhD, Professor, Department of Education Specialties, St. John’s University, New York City

“Grief doesn’t only come with death; it can come with any loss, including the loss of a relationship, loss of a career, loss of a way of life, or the loss of a dream. Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a practical way to process all the emotions attached to loss and the grief that follows.

Harriet Hodgson’s book, Grief in Your Words: How Writing Helps You Heal, will help you process loss, or change and track your reflections, experiences, and feelings over time. The thoughtful prompts will guide you as you begin your journey to healing.

In a time when so many of us are facing loss, Grief in Your Words: How Writing Helps You Heal, is an easy-to-follow, comforting companion through the many aspects of grief. Full of practical and engaging activities, evidence-based suggestions, and inspiring words of wisdom, this book is like having a trusted friend, therapist, and a grief guide by your side at all times.”

Gary Sturgis, Grief Specialist, Grief Speaker, Bereavement Facilitator, bestselling author of Surviving Grief —365 Days a Year

“Although I am familiar with art therapy as a way of dealing with grief, Harriet Hodgson provides yet another excellent creative resource for exploring the different ways humans respond to the death of their loved ones in Grief in Your Words: How Writing Helps You Heal. This practical handbook providers readers with specific steps to assist them in making sense of the many, sometimes nebulous emotions we all experience when someone close to us dies.

Using her own deep familiarity with loss, Hodgson provides specific questions to assist us in putting our feelings down on paper as a way of moving through the grieving process. Along with reassurance that this process may one day become manageable, she gives suggestions for such situations as dealing with anniversary reactions, responding to the well-meaning but answerless question, ‘How are you?’ and developing methods of self-care.

An excellent bibliography of support resources accompanies the text. Grief in Your Words is an easy, helpful read.”

Kenneth Counselman, PhD, retired Professor, Wheelock College of Education and Human Development

“Grief in Your Words offers a step-by-step approach to process your thoughts and feelings associated with grief. The book is full of practical insights and has meaningful prompts to help even a reluctant writer. This book would be a wonderful resource for grief groups or even a family looking to better understand how each one is coping. Knowing Harriet Hodgson, I can hear her gentle voice encouraging the reader with humor and practicality. As a grief counselor, this book is on my resource list as a valuable tool for those who are trying to make sense of their grief journey. Thank you once again Harriet!”

Heidi Smith, Licensed Professional Counselor, LPCC, Thanatology Fellow

“Grief in Your Words is like a warm hug from a friend. There is so much wisdom, encouragement, resources, and support wrapped up in the power of writing as a powerful tool to help and support every aspect of a grief journey. The book explores how simple, easy, and insightful writing can be and makes it as simple as possible with writing prompts, one-word writing and more. This book is easy to use with step-by-step instructions. It would be wonderful to use in a support group setting for older adults—a book you will turn to again and again.”

Kathy Scheid, Executive Director, Elder Network, Rochester, Minnesota

“When you’re experiencing the loss of a loved one, it may seem that there is no way to go on. Harriet Hodgson knows this from first-hand experience, and in her remarkable new book, provides a guide to navigating loss.

Besides making suggestions on making it through the fog of grief, the author offers practical advice on adding meaning to every day. This includes things like finding ways to share your loved one’s values, dealing with the question, ‘How are you?’ and coping with the pain that comes with holidays.

One of the strategies she highlights is putting words down on paper. Writing your grief story helps you heal, she observes, and Grief in Your Words shows you how. Written with compassion and empathy, this is a book you will want to share with others when the hard times come.”

Lucy Adkins, author of Two-Toned Dress and A Crazy Little Things, co-author of Writing in Community and The Fire Inside

“Grief escapes no one, but Harriet Hodgson writes from a position of experience and multiple tragic circumstances. A survivor and ultimate thriver, she skillfully describes her grief journey. The purpose of her book is to encourage the reader to express their grief in words. Harriet’s gentle approach and writing prompts will give the reader the impetus to begin this healing practice.”

Lois Ruth Kennel, retired English teacher

This book is dedicated to all who grieve, and work so hard to heal.

CONTENTS

Making the Most of This Book

Preface

Part 1: Getting Ready to Write

Chapter 1: The Benefits of Writing

Chapter 2: Choosing the Best Writing Form for You

Chapter 3: Gathering Your Materials

Chapter 4: Finding a Place to Write

Chapter 5: The Joy of Journal Writing

Chapter 6: Brainstorming about Writing Ideas

Part 2: Readings to Jump-Start Writing

Chapter 7: Coping with Grief: Your Mental Toolkit

Chapter 8: Receiving the Gift of Food

Chapter 9: Setting Goals After a Loved One Dies

Chapter 10: Living a Loved One’s Values

Chapter 11: The Miracles of Kindness

Chapter 12: Time is Different When You’re Grieving

Chapter 13: The Benefits of Exercise

Chapter 14: Having a Relationship with the Deceased

Chapter 15: Honor a Loved One with Their Favorite Dinner

Chapter 16: Got Grief Brain?

Chapter 17: When Does the Crying Stop?

Chapter 18: Coping with Anniversary Reactions

Chapter 19: Answering the Question “How are You?”

Chapter 20: Creating a Memory Cookbook

Chapter 21: Giving Yourself Permission to Laugh

Chapter 22: Be Grateful for Writing

Part 3: Finishing the Job

Chapter 23: Reviewing Your Words

Chapter 24: Writing and Personal Growth

Chapter 25: Self-Care Steps

Chapter 26: Words of Hope

Conclusion: A Good Ending to a Grief Story

Other Journal Ideas to Explore

Journal Pages

Support for You

Bibliography

More Grief Healing Books by Harriet Hodgson

About the Author

Making the Most of This Book

You must remember that your story matters.

What you write has the power to save a life, [and] sometimes that life is your own.

— Stalina Goodwin

You are worthy of self-care. Grief in Your Words is a form of self-care. This book provides spaces for you to write to help guide you through the grief maze, allowing you to emerge from it and live the new life that’s waiting for you. To do this, you need to tell your grief story—a story that is as unique as you are.

Your story is yours alone, an agonizing, confusing, stressful story. You may feel like you’ve lost control over life. And maybe you have. But a lack of control is temporary and can be regained. This book is your personal writing plan, one designed just for you. The writing plan has six steps that move from ideas to action. As your words accumulate, you may see a glimmer of hope. Having a writing plan can give you hope too.

Writing Plan

A willingness to express your thoughts in words.

Finding a comfortable writing place.

Brainstorming about writing topics.

Putting words on paper.

Evaluating your writing.

Applying what you learn from writing to your life.

The sixth step may be the most important. Expressing your grief story with words helps only if you learn from the process.

Many positive things can result from writing. For example, when you write about grief, it may help you realize you’re trying to pack too much into a day. Consequently, you simplify your days and feel less stressed. Writing also helps you identify problems, such as not having a legal will, and for you to rectify this problem.

Having the determination to write doesn’t mean you’re going to produce a best-selling novel, although that would be fabulous. Instead, it means you review your story, divide it into parts, engage in introspection, and document your story in words. The purpose of this book is simple: to encourage you to write. What you write depends on your feelings and grief experience.

The idea of writing may make you nervous. Well, you can relax. I won’t toss you off the dock into the writing sea. Grief in Your Words eases you into writing and lets you proceed at your own pace. Better yet, you are always in control. You decide the topics to write about, when you write, what you write, and how much you write.

Each chapter begins with an inspiring quote. I love all the quotes—after all, I chose them—but I have a favorite. Flannery O’Connor, an American novelist, short story writer, and essayist, eloquently says: “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.”

What a profound sentence. This sentence resonated with me because I’ve lived it and literally wrote my way to healing. The more I wrote, the more I understood my grief journey. When I look back at my life, I can barely believe I survived. This may be true for you too. Seeing thoughts on paper can help you identify what you want to say and need to say for healing to happen.

As you write, you may begin to realize you aren’t merely surviving: you are thriving and preparing for the future. Writing helps you learn about yourself, unveiling aspects that you may not have known before, and offer insights about the grief process in general.

Part 1, “Getting Ready to Write,” focuses on preparation and gathering supplies. Just as you gather ingredients for a recipe, you gather writing supplies and keep them close at hand. Having extra packs of printer paper is an example of gathering supplies.

Part 2, “Readings to Jump-Start Writing,” contains articles on a variety of topics, including traumatic loss, “grief brain” (a common response to the death of a loved one), setting goals, accepting acts of kindness, staying physically active, and coping with anniversary reactions (i.e., a particular day of the year in which feelings of grief resurface). At the end of each article, there is a writing prompt and a lined page where you can jot down your thoughts.

I would suggest dating your writing for reference. Having a date helps you and future generations to understand family history, the challenges you faced, and how you coped with them. Instead of giving up, you stood up for yourself and were proactive.

Part 3, “Finishing the Job,” focuses on reviewing your writing, the topics you write about, your word choices, and what you have learned from expressing your grief. Evaluating your writing can be a slow process, one that could take weeks or months. Hidden thoughts may suddenly emerge. Established thoughts may become stronger. Be patient and give yourself the gift of time.

Complete the writing exercises when you’re ready. Relatives and well-meaning friends may think you’ll recover from grief in a few weeks. Don’t believe this myth or succumb to pressure. Be kind to yourself during this trying time of life and set your own pace. Take a break if you feel tired. Reread a section if you feel it’s necessary. Set the book aside for a few days and continue reading later. Grief in Your Words is a springboard to healing and may be used in several ways.

Share Grief in Your Words with your faith community.

You may decide to share Grief in Your Words in faith-based groups such as Sunday School or discussions after church. Each person in the group has their own copy of the book and contributes to the discussion. Writing and speaking about grief is a learning process. Everyone should have the opportunity to speak at a group meeting. You may hear stories that are similar to yours and discover possible solutions to your problems.

Use Grief in Your Words as a workshop resource.

You may take a workshop that talks about grief: the physical and emotional effects, coping ideas, sources of support, and planning a new life. Again, each member of the group has their own copy of the book. Grief is far-reaching, and class discussions can also be far-reaching. Remember, you don’t have to agree with every point to benefit from the discussion.