Learn to Let Go E-Book

50MINUTES

• Herausgeber: 50Minutes.com
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Serie: Health & Wellbeing
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 38

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017

Beschreibung

Change is only 50 minutes away! Find out everything you need to know about letting go with this straightforward guide.

The hectic pace of modern life and the demands of work and family responsibilities can leave us feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Fortunately, no matter how busy you are, there are a range of simple steps you can take to stay relaxed, let go of regret and anxiety and stop worrying about the things you cannot control.

In just 50 minutes you will be able to:
• Understand why you find it so difficult to let go
• Adjust your outlook on difficult events to make them easier to accept
• Use techniques such as meditation to manage your stress on an everyday basis

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The Health and Wellbeing series from the 50Minutes collection is perfect for anyone looking to be healthier and happier in their personal life. Our guides cover a range of topics, from social anxiety to getting ready for a new baby, and provide simple, practical advice and suggestions to allow you to reduce stress, strengthen your relationships and increase your wellbeing.

Leseprobe

Learn to let go

Problem: while the idea of letting go is at the heart of many self-help books, it remains somewhat mysterious, and it is hard to know what we actually need to get rid of in order to live in the moment. Moreover, it is difficult to understand what living in the moment actually means.Aim: to realise that, while we cannot always change the course of events, we can adjust our outlook and the way we see things.FAQs:Does everyone find it equally difficult to let go?Do children find it easier to let go?What makes it difficult for us to let go?To what extent should we let go?What is the best way to let go?

We hear about letting go all the time nowadays, but few of us really understand what it means. It is often presented as an obligation, an objective to reach and something that does not take much effort. Most of us will have been told to “just let it go” when we were worried or stressed. However, letting go is no mean feat when we find ourselves mired in problems.

The Swiss philosopher Alexandre Jollien invites us to “let go, even of letting of go1” (Petit traité de l’abandon, or “Little Treatise of Abandonment”); in other words, we should not consider letting go as a new constraint, but rather as an opportunity to relax by accepting certain unpleasant events or situations that are out of our control without blowing them out of proportion. However, this does not mean that we are adopting a defeatist or passive attitude – quite the opposite, in fact! The story below, which is often used in psychology classes, will give you a better understanding of this concept:

In Malaysia, there is a traditional monkey-hunting practice that involves cutting a coconut in half, scraping out the flesh and replacing it with a few grains of rice, before closing it again, leaving a small opening. The monkey is enticed by the coconut hanging from a tree and puts its hand in it to get the rice. When the coconut closes again and traps it, it cries out and whimpers even though it could simply take its hand out and escape from the hunters. The monkey does not let go of the rice and save itself because it is too attached to its spoils. We do the same thing! Rather than taking a step back and putting things into perspective, we stubbornly cling to our thoughts.

The fact that we are thinking beings who tend to make things difficult for ourselves means that we have a lot more worries than monkeys, but it also means that we have the ability to observe ourselves and correct our behaviour, so that we are no longer guided by our reflexes.

This guide aims to give a more precise definition of the concept of letting go, introduce you to a range of techniques to help you to let go and help you to put these techniques in practice depending on your situation. It bears repeating once again that letting go does not mean giving in or accepting defeat, but is actually a way of improving your wellbeing!

1 This quotation has been translated by 50Minutes.com.

Understanding how to let go

Control and attachment: the opposite of letting go

To understand the concept of letting go, we first need to consider its opposites, namely control and excessive attachment.

Control

We use points of reference established from childhood onwards to adapt ourselves to the world. Our upbringing, environment and personality all shape our outlook on the world. This provides us with consistency and makes our interactions with our surroundings more or less harmonious. Controlling, or at least trying to control, a situation, reassures us. When we lose our grip on events, stress takes over us.

“I call the crèche at least three times a day to reassure myself that everything is going well with Harry, and generally it is. The supervisors tell me that there’s no point calling and that it gets in the way of their work a bit, but I can’t bring myself to go a whole day without reassuring myself that things are going well. If I don’t call, I can’t stop worrying.” (Charlotte, 29, mother to a 6-month-old baby)