17,99 €
Mehr erfahren.
- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
Revamp your life to grow, evolve, and become who you want to be Lifestorming is the indispensably practical handbook for becoming the person you want to be. Redesign your life, friends, behaviors, and beliefs to move closer to your goals every single day, guided by expert insight and deep introspection. Written by a veteran author team behind almost 100 books on human behavior, this guide helps you learn why you do things the way you do them, and how to do them better. The Lifestorming Test allows you to assess your current state in concrete terms, and assess your ability to change and adapt -- from there, it's about identifying people, actions, habits, and beliefs that either support your personal and professional growth or hold you back. You'll learn the six building blocks of character, challenge your belief system, develop a leadership mindset, and overcome the fear and guilt of success. You'll map out an action plan, and learn how to continually move forward at work, at home, and in everyday life. We often don't realize how much of our natural default is established by others. Whose goals are you working toward? Are you measuring your progress with the correct yardstick? This book shows you how to take a step back and compare your life today with the future you want -- and build a plan for changing track toward constant evolution and growth. * Assess your current state and your capacity for change * Develop the right goals and the right metrics to create the future you want * Learn how character evolves, and why it's essential to growth * Change your habits and behaviors to consistently grow and evolve We all carry around old baggage, obsolete "friendships", and counterproductive beliefs -- and every day, they pull us a little further away from what we really want. Lifestorming is your real-world guide to shedding the stagnation, and allowing yourself to grow into the person you want to become.
Sie lesen das E-Book in den Legimi-Apps auf:
Seitenzahl: 272
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017
Ähnliche
Lifestorming
CREATING MEANING AND ACHIEVEMENT IN YOUR CAREER AND LIFE
Alan Weiss Marshall Goldsmith
Cover Design: Paul McCarthy
Cover Art: Getty images © Mimi Haddon
Copyright © 2017 by Alan Weiss and Marshall Goldsmith. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.
For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.
Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Weiss, Alan, 1946– author. | Goldsmith, Marshall, author.
Title: Lifestorming : creating meaning and achievement in your career and life / Alan Weiss, Marshall Goldsmith.
Description: Hoboken : Wiley, 2017. | Includes index. | Description based on print version record and CIP data provided by publisher; resource not viewed.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017010479 (print) | ISBN 9781119366126 (hardback)
Subjects: LCSH: Self-actualization (Psychology) | Motivation (Psychology) | Decision making. | Problem solving. | BISAC: BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Motivational. | BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Decision-Making & Problem Solving.
Classification: LCC BF637.S4 (ebook) | LCC BF637.S4 W4445 2017 (print) | DDC 650.1–dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017010479
ISBN: 978-1-119-36612-6 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-1-119-36629-4 (ebk)
ISBN: 978-1-119-36628-7 (ebk)
CONTENTS
Introduction
1: Setting Our Own Aspirations
How We Can Become Programmed
An Evolutionary Journey
Applying the Right Criteria
The Impossible Dream
Life's Detours
Notes
2: The Importance of New Friends
Why Old Friends and Old Habits Tend to Stick Together
Breaking Out of the “Good Enough” Trap
The Best Relationships Grow with Us
Watertight Doors
Letting Go to Reach Out
Why We Halt the Journey
Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
Notes
3: Behavioral Metamorphosis
Making Deliberate Change
Ugly Caterpillars and Uglier Butterflies
Metabehavior
Aspiration-Appropriate Behavior
Notes
4: Believe It or Not
Breaking into the Belief Vault
Challenging and Evaluating Your Belief System
The Creation of Attitudes for Growth
Beliefs Manifest in Behavior
Notes
5: The Importance and Evolution of Character
Character's Composition
Character Test
Ethical and Moral Behavior
A Slow, Steady March
The Meaning of Presence
Consistency in Turbulent Times
Assuming Formal and Informal Leadership
Self-Assessment
Notes
6: Critical Abandonment (Knowing When to Hold and When to Fold)
The Dynamics of Keeping and of Changing
Adjustments and Accommodations
GPS and Roadside Assistance
Staying the Course
Notes
7: The New You
Overcoming Fear
Banishing Guilt
Ending Shame
Maintaining High Self-Worth
Gaining and Sustaining Leverage
Notes
8: Sustaining the Journey
Growth through Generosity
Evolution through Exploration
New Dimensions of Relationships
Legacy
Notes
9: Self-Mastery: The
Lifestorming
Field Guide to Your Successful Journey
Testing Yourself
Index
EULA
List of Illustrations
Chapter 1
Figure 1.1
Relationship of Internal and External Control
Chapter 2
Figure 2.1
Watertight Doors
Figure 2.2
Esteem and Abundance
Chapter 3
Figure 3.1
Manifestation of Beliefs
Figure 3.2
The Permission Gauge
Chapter 5
Figure 5.1
Happiness and Meaning
Figure 5.2
Self-Esteem
Figure 5.3
The Sharp Right Turn
Chapter 6
Figure 6.1
Critical Abandonment
Figure 6.2
The Vehicle on the Journey
Figure 6.3
Personal Growth Metrics
Chapter 7
Figure 7.1
The Ambiguous Zone
Chapter 8
Figure 8.1
The Types of Actions Available
Chapter 9
Figure 9.1
Internal versus External Control
Figure 9.2
Watertight Doors
Figure 9.3
Esteem and Abundance
Figure 9.4
The Permission Gauge
Figure 9.5
Happiness and Meaning
Figure 9.6
Critical Abandonment
Figure 9.7
The Vehicle on the Journey
Figure 9.8
Personal Growth Metrics
Figure 9.9
The Ambiguous Zone
Figure 9.10
The Types of Actions Available
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
1
Pages
ix
x
xi
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
Introduction
In our culture, we are bombarded by messages that essentially say, “Change! Improve! Get better!” We're surrounded day and night by these directives, whether they come from the diet industry, the vast trove of self-improvement literature, or the rhetoric of politicians . . . even toothpaste ads are aspirational!
Given how overwhelming these messages are, it's tempting to simply shut them out. Who can possibly follow all that advice? But we still give it half an ear because we know, deep down, that we could change for the better, if only we knew how. But that's the bedeviling question: How? Most of us try to change for years, without that change ever becoming permanent. We are left wondering how we can become the people we want to be—the people we know we can be.
The great Western disease is “I will be happy when!” When I get the money, the status, the position, the BMW, that special person. The great Western art form is something that sounds like this: “There were many people. The people were all sad. They decided to spend money. They bought a product. Then they all became happy!”
This message is called a commercial. How many of these have you seen? How many times have you been barraged by this same message? It is no wonder that we tend to look for the quick fix and the easy answer. We have been programmed, over and over again, to think this way.
Advertising presents an easy solution: Buy the product! But as anyone who has tried this strategy knows, real change is never that easy. While change is not easy, it is possible, and that's what Lifestorming offers. In this book, we'll guide you as you think about your goals—why you chose them, how you can achieve them, and (critically) how they can evolve over time to reflect your changing priorities.
The great fallacy of creating lasting change is that we only need to do it once. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, we never step twice into the same river. As soon as we're done achieving one benchmark, another appears before us. That's especially true in these volatile, unpredictable times, when business, technology, and just about everything else is changing at unprecedented speeds.
In this environment, character and an underlying sense of self-worth are more important than ever. Without them, it's too easy to drift away from what's really most important. In this book, authored by two of the most highly regarded executive and entrepreneurial coaches, you'll gain insight into why so many of us end up in places we never meant to go. Consider this a map for getting on the right track.
Before getting started, a little bit about us:
Alan Weiss: I'm an expert in human performance and growth. I began my career working globally for 15 years with Fortune 500 firms, before transitioning to working with entrepreneurs and owners of boutique firms. I've written 50 books, which appear in 12 languages and dozens of editions, including the 25-year bestseller Million Dollar Consulting. I'm the only nonjournalist in history to have received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Press Institute. I live in East Greenwich, Rhode Island, with my wife of 48 years, Maria, and we have two children and two grandchildren—with more expected! I'm a member of the National Speakers Association Hall of Fame® and a Fellow of the Institute of Management Consultants.
Marshall Goldsmith: As an executive coach and business educator, my mission is to help successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior, for themselves, their people, and their teams. In addition to advising more than 120 major CEOs and their management teams, I'm the author or editor of 35 books, which have sold over 2 million copies, been translated into 32 languages, and become bestsellers in 12 countries. I constantly crisscross the globe to speak, teach, and coach. On one airline alone, I have more than 11 million frequent flyer miles! I'm married to the wonderful Lyda, and we also have two children and two grandchildren.
This book is written from Alan's perspective (the “I” you'll be reading about is Alan—unless otherwise noted). Marshall's point of view comes through in the approaches outlined and through some of his personal anecdotes. We have different, yet complementary, backgrounds. I (Alan) am a world authority in providing business advice to entrepreneurial leaders and individual consultants. My (Marshall's) expertise is providing behavioral coaching to leaders in extremely large organizations. While we both work with very successful people, we also work with different types of people. This book is intended to combine our knowledge in a way that can help almost anyone who has a sincere desire to achieve positive, lasting change in behavior.
No two coaches—and no two people—agree on everything, and we're no exception! But we share a fundamental belief in the power of you, the reader, to change. We know it won't be easy. We've seen powerful and influential leaders struggle with this stuff, time and again. But we also know it's eminently possible. So let's get started!
1Setting Our Own Aspirations
How We Can Become Programmed
Our natural human tendency is to think of ourselves as independent and authentic—authors of our own destinies. But that's a tall order and much tougher than it seems. Bombarded by external triggers and expectations, we can easily fall into roles and patterns established for us by other people.
Why can it be so hard to resist when someone assigns us a role and expects us to live out this role? I find it fascinating to watch this play out among professional role-players—actors. Some actors are true chameleons, morphing from one part to the next. Others seem to believe they are who they depict, developing attitudes and behaviors consistent with the characters they've played. Marlon Brando was famous for staying in role even when the cameras weren't on. William Shatner often seemed to be Captain James Kirk from Star Trek—even when not on the Starship Enterprise. Remember the famous ads, still parodied today—“I'm not a doctor, though I play one on television”—in which the actor proceeded—attired in white medical coat—to dispense health information? He was convincing because he began to believe in his own authority.
We often unconsciously become programmed to believe we are someone and then proceed to live our lives trying to fill that role. However, it's often the wrong role: not right for us, and sometimes even harmful.
For years people told me I should become a lawyer. In grammar school and high school I was told I argued well and debated effectively. At Rutgers, I majored in political science, a natural precursor to law school. I did well enough on the LSAT (Law School Admission Test) to earn a full scholarship to Rutgers Law.
There was only one problem. Over that summer, I realized I didn't want to be a lawyer. I never had dreams of working in criminal defense, or as a prosecutor, or settling estates, or refereeing divorces, or working for an organization's legal department. These are great aspirations—but they just weren't mine. I had different dreams, which initially didn't please those who wanted a legal career for me. My parents, who never had money, viewed law as a distinguished and high-earning profession. My teachers wanted it for me too. When I visited the dean of admissions to tell her to give the scholarship to someone else, she actually reached across the desk to try to grab my wrist! Thankfully, I didn't give into that pressure, and today I have a career I love.
A great many people follow their parents into a profession, even when they don't feel any passion for it themselves. A friend of mine followed his father into dentistry, believing it was a good way to make money in the medical field without becoming a physician. Although being a dentist is a great career for many professionals, it was not for him. Too late, he realized he essentially disliked pushing a high-speed drill an eighth of an inch from patients' tongues day in and day out. But by then his practice was paying for private school tuitions, his own educational debt, and all the trappings of an upper middle-class life. Trying another career at his age would have come at a tremendous cost. This conundrum isn't unique to dentistry, of course. Numerous professions represent a well-trodden path that is easier to follow than to leave.
This pattern can be also be influenced by siblings. Brothers and sisters are highly influenced by their sibs, and tend to play the same sports, or become cheerleaders, or join the band (and play the same instrument)—or do just the opposite to escape the comparisons. These are roles that have been established as successful, drawing praise from others, and creating a precedent to follow or from which to flee.
Thus, unseen by the naked eye, we, without thinking about it, may do our best to become the person we were programmed to be rather than the person who, in our hearts, we want to be!
Case Study
I was coaching the former vice chair of a large financial institution. He loved helping people and wanted to be a consultant after his mandatory retirement. His face lit up when he discussed the possibility of being an advisor to other executives.
Surprisingly, he seemed very curious when I asked him if he would be interested if another vice chair position became available. He asked me if I knew about such a position, how much it paid, and the size of the organization.
When I reminded him of his previous discussion about being a consultant, he immediately changed course, thanked me, and mentioned that he had become so used to focusing on money and status that he had temporarily forgotten that he was already rich and wanted to spend the rest of this life doing what he most valued.
Some very prestigious jobs are actually a poor fit when you consider the applicant's true aspirations. Retiring executives or admirals might be flattered by offers of a college presidency, for example, something others might ooh and ah at. They may have a vision of a job that allows them to serve as the public face of a venerable institution, leading great discourse and inspiring younger generations. The actual work of a college president, however, may involve sparring with tenured faculty, negotiating the demands of students, and meeting stringent fund-raising goals. Anyone who takes a job like that just because of the title and honorifics is likely to feel disappointed and betrayed. If a different person took the same job with a clear goal of improving higher education, though, she might find the role incredibly fulfilling.
An Evolutionary Journey
We're talking about taking an evolutionary journey through life. A journey without a “there.” Gertrude Stein coined the epithet “There is no there, there” when speaking of Oakland, California. But we mean exactly that. Your “there” is constantly migrating (we'll discuss metamorphosis and change in Chapter 3).
The evolving you is not a moving target, but pursues a moving target.
Milepost
Be careful that your “there” is not created by someone else or some external force, such as Facebook. Your “there” can, and often should, be constantly moving as your experiences, successes, and perspective change. Our bar may well become higher and higher as we journey through life.
An initial question becomes: To what extent is your journey one of internal control, and to what extent one of external control? Do social and normative pressures have a legitimate role in who you are to become? Figure 1.1 illustrates these relationships.
Figure 1.1 Relationship of Internal and External Control
We're using the following definitions:
Control:
The power to influence or direct.
Internal:
The power that is believed by the performers to be theirs; within their purview.
External:
The power that is believed by the performers to be wielded by others or by random events.
When we believe that both internal and external control are low (lower left), we're merely taking a random walk. (A more graphic manner to describe this quadrant is chaos: complete disorder and confusion.) I'm reminded of the classic story of the drunk accosted by the bartender and told to get out, who replies, “I didn't walk in here and I'm not leaving.”
Many people arise each day simply awaiting what occurs, without the intention of exerting themselves on the world. We see this in circumstances where external direction has been removed advertently or inadvertently (the leader of a group suddenly dies, or is delayed in arriving, or is having a bad day) and no one chooses to step forward into the vacuum. People mill about or drift away. Nothing productive occurs. This is much rarer among entrepreneurs, who realize (and are gratified) that they must make their own plans work, must achieve their own aspirations.
When internal control is seen as high and external control as low (upper left) there is the belief that “I create the world.” When carried to an extreme this can lead to narcissism and imperiousness, as well as to a false belief in one's abilities (and to being seen by others as the proverbial empty suit, or in Texas as “big hat, no cattle”).
Another version of this belief is illustrated by the classic motivational speech in which the speaker exhorts the audience to overcome fears simply by telling themselves they can or by emulating some deeply dramatic challenge that the speaker has overcome and wrestled to the ground.
One of the funniest examples of the weakness of belief in solely internal control is Bob Newhart's classic routine of a psychologist who charges only a dollar a minute for a maximum of five minutes because his consistent advice to any dysfunctional habit or irrational belief is: “Just stop it!”1
Case Study
I was once president of a company owned by a wealthy insurance magnate and financier. This man believed strongly in a positive mental attitude. He preached this philosophy as the route to success and the cause of his own fortune of over $450 million.
I wondered if he had his etiology (cause and effect) mixed up: that he had a positive mental attitude because he had earned $450 million in the insurance business, not vice versa. At one point I joked that if he wanted everyone to have a positive mental attitude he should give them all $450 million.
I was fired not long after—which taught me that even if a positive mental attitude does not guarantee millions in riches, it does tend to help you keep your job.
Today, there is a major industry dedicated to convincing people that control of their lives is totally personal and achievable. The highly paid speakers in this industry may be thriving more than their customers. If we truly had total control over our lives, none of us would choose to get sick or eventually die.
We are great believers in positive mental attitude. We believe that helping people to become more motivated about taking control of their own lives is a noble goal. We also believe that the reality of what we can control needs to be balanced with the acknowledgment of what we cannot control.
In the bottom right of Figure 1.1 we have high external control and low internal control. In other words, the world creates and directs us, a Calvinistic sort of predestination. In more modern times this condition has been represented by B. F. Skinner, the psychologist and behaviorist who believed that human behavior could be controlled and predicted. He advocated programmed learning and similar educational practices to train people to whatever ends were desired. Skinner believed that external stimulus was more powerful than individuals' internal control.
We believe Skinner's work sheds some very valuable light on human behavior, but it falls far short of explaining all of it. While our environments are powerful, so are we. I recall hearing many years ago, but can't recall who said, “We train animals, but educate people.” You can teach people to perform repetitive tasks—a feature of the training industry that sprang up in response to the world wars—but you can't train people to be enthusiastic, or motivated, or have high energy. That comes from within.
If your belief is that others not only can determine but are responsible for what you become, then you are in a position of surrender. This is the professional victim, who constantly blames the system, or “them,” and feels no power. Victims have no inclination to create their own change initiatives. One of the greatest expenses for any company is absenteeism and the greatest cause of absenteeism is stress, and stress is often caused by the feeling that one has no inkling of what may happen tomorrow and no influence over it.
In the extreme case this belief is that the journey has already been mapped and the roads already paved.
This now takes us to the upper right quadrant, or high control both internally and externally—mutual creation. This quadrant represents the belief system of this book. We believe that all people can have significant influence over their own lives. We believe that we, as humans, can make a huge difference in creating our own lives, but that we are not gods. While we can make a difference in creating our lives, our environment can still play a large role in our ultimate success or failure. An innocent person being victimized by a drunk hit-and-run driver is not totally responsible for the outcome of what happened.
When we don't understand how much control we actually have in a given situation, it's easy to end up with misguided aspirations and inappropriate metrics. If we aren't careful, we can be pulled off course by going to either extreme—believing we can do everything or believing we control nothing. (For example, parents telling us that we are born winners who can do anything we choose—or parents telling us that we are born losers who can do nothing we choose.) Naively accepting their advice is forgivable in childhood, regrettable in early adulthood, and harmful in maturity.
As we become more successful, the importance of the top right quadrant grows, raising the bar still higher for responsible aspirations and metrics of improvement.
Applying the Right Criteria
Here's a brief test on your personal metrics and norms:
Choose someone you consider to be a personal hero. It could be someone from personal life experience, such as a parent or teacher, or someone in the news, such as Sully Sullenberger (who landed his disabled plane in the Hudson River with no loss of life).
__________________________________________________________
Write the personal traits of this person that make you consider him or her to be a hero on the lines below. While you may not like everything about this person, think of at least three reasons that he or she is one of your heroes. These virtues could be patience, boldness, great use of language, and so forth.
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
Now return to step 1, cross off your hero's name, and write in your own name.
List which of the traits from step 2 you already possess and which you would like to develop.
Possess:____________________________________________________
Need to develop:______________________________________________
Possess:____________________________________________________
Need to develop:______________________________________________
Possess:____________________________________________________
Need to develop:______________________________________________
Possess:____________________________________________________
Need to develop:______________________________________________
The point of the exercise is that we can often control those traits that will make us “heroes”—emulating those we really admire for their deeds, behavior, and impact.
But we must become accustomed to an environment that we create and realize that this environment also influences us, a reciprocity of influence. Churchill, commenting on Parliament and its difficulties in taking action, said, “We shape our buildings, and afterwards, our buildings shape us.”2 What we're espousing is perhaps more of a halfway house, in which we build, digest, build, digest, alter, remove, build, digest, and so on.
The preceding exercise was designed by my (Marshall's) great friend Ayse Birsel.3 It changed my life. As it turns out, all of my heroes were teachers. They included amazing leaders like Frances Hesselbein (Presidential Medal of Freedom award winner and former CEO of the Girl Scouts), Alan Mulally (2011 CEO of the Year in the United States and former CEO of Ford), as well as wonderful professors such as Peter Drucker and Warren Bennis. What did my heroes have in common? Not only were they fantastic coaches and teachers, they were extremely generous! None of my heroes ever charged me for any of the countless hours of help that they graciously gave to me. Although I have always thought of myself as a generous coach and teacher, I decided that I could do better. I decided to “adopt” 15 coaches and teach them all that I know for free—with the only price being that they would agree to pay it forward and do the same for others when they grew older.
I made a short video about my idea and posted it on LinkedIn. It went viral, and well over 100,000 viewers watched it. Over 12,000 people applied for the 15 positions! I decided to expand the project to include 100 established coaches and 100 aspiring coaches. I am happy to say that this is project is now a large part of my life, and I love it! (Thank you, Ayse Birsel, for this great exercise!)
The Impossible Dream
In the hit musical show Man of La Mancha, there is a moment only to be found on Broadway in which the character Don Quixote walks to stage center and everyone knows what's about to happen: The actor (I was fortunate enough to see Richard Kiley in the original production and Brian Stokes Mitchell more recently in the revival) sings “The Impossible Dream,”4 a paean to the heroism of tilting at windmills. Some of the ideas expressed:
To fight those who were thought to be unbeatable
To bear more sorrow than seems bearable
To seek out areas where brave men don't dare tread
To reach the most distant star
You get the idea, and it's one hell of a theatrical moment. But it's not very helpful in setting or fulfilling your aspirations! Broadway musicals, like motivational seminars, can be inspiring—their intent is to immerse you in someone else's version of reality, with the hope that you'll be moved by the theatrics and grandeur in front of you.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with an enjoyable night at the theater, or spending a day or two at a motivational seminar—if it inspires you to live a better, happier, more thoughtful life. Many smart people with excellent intentions run these seminars, and in general they do more good than harm. The problem comes when we, the audience, rely on motivational experiences to give us all the answers. The fact is that these seminars can give us a lot—but not everything. The fundamental work of changing our behavior for the better is ultimately our own responsibility.
Cervantes invented Don Quixote, a character emblematic of people who believe they can do anything because of their deep belief. While people who believe “I can do it!” are more likely to do it, we have also seen many people delude themselves into thinking that a positive attitude can replace hard work. A great example of combining positive attitude and hard work occurred when NASA scientists saved the Challenger. They did not give up. They had a “We will do it!” attitude. They also had the years of training, the intelligence, and the dedication to make it happen. (I heard one of those engineers speak to a small group once holding a small piece of an O-ring. Now that was a motivational speech.)
A standard feature in old horror movies was the buzz saw that kept getting closer and closer to the hero. Although we knew the hero would somehow escape due to ingenuity, the arrival of the cavalry, or a deus ex machina, we still cringed.
Today we might cringe at the spinning wheel of social media, which is constantly gaining speed. We seek to be part of the latest, but there is so much “latest” that it's hard to stay constantly connected. We're driven to have the attention span of a water bug. We're immersed in an ADD world.
What has this to do with aspirations and metrics?
We may feel as if we don't exist if we're not a part of this spinning wheel of information. The centrifugal force threatens to throw us off, so we cling with all our might, trying to follow and be a part of a thousand issues for a second each. (Have you seen the Twitter members who “follow” 90,000 people? Try to follow even 25 daily and read their tweets, then add in the other social media platforms, and you have a full-time job.)
The inertia is bizarre: The more you get, the more you get! So we become overwhelmed with examples, advice, and claims that are never vetted, validated, or verified. At one point, people sold books and tapes through infomercials that showed how the average person could make millions by flipping houses or selling detergents. Pyramid and Ponzi schemes (sometimes politely called multi-level marketing
