No good new beginning without a clean break up E-Book

Marika Albrecht

• Herausgeber: novum publishing
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 61

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Who hasn't experienced heartbreak? The grief doesn't always go so far that you want to break up. Have you reached that point? Then this guide can help you. Marika Albrecht talks about her own marriage, which she ended after just a few years. What do they say? "You're always smarter with hindsight." For this reason, the author would like to share her own experiences with you. Are you ready to separate? What do you need to consider? What are the consequences of a separation? Marika Albrecht can't give you the answers, as they are different for every person and every relationship. However, she can help you ask the right questions and give you the courage to take the final step and look to the future.

Leseprobe

FOREWORD

This book is intended to help readers who are about to separate, or have already separated, to get over the loss and also to show that you can prepare well for such situations and that there is always a way out, no matter how miserable things look for you in life at the moment.

You are not alone, there are many people out there with the same fate, so I thought it was important to pass on my experiences and perhaps be a support to you.

Everyone is free to read this book as they see fit. It does not have to be read from beginning to end, you can also read only the chapters that appeal to you. It is only important to me that you feel comfortable with it and that it can help you in certain life situations.

You can answer the questions you ask yourself directly in the book, or on a supplementary paper. It is important to me that you write down your answers, because then you will deal more intensively with the questions and your answers, which can help you a lot with self-analysis or with certain decisions.

Be honest with yourself and don't try to embellish certain unpleasant topics, that won't help you. Be self-critical, because no one is judging you, only you.

LIFE IS NOT A PONY FARM

Yes, this sentence is a bit silly, but somehow also so incredibly true.

When I fell head over heels in love with the love of my life at the tender age of 20, I would never have imagined that I would ever write a book like this, or that I would have to go through all the terrible experiences that led me to do so. I dreamed of a happy family living happily in a small house with a dog, and I drive a big SUV, my husband is successful in his job and I love being at home with the children and waiting for my loved one every evening with a well-cooked meal and talking to him about our day. This was the picture in my head when I said "yes" to the proposal that the love of my life made to me. Now you might be thinking, logically it couldn't work, she was far too young, etc. But I was firmly convinced that my husband had only been unfaithful because he hadn't yet found the right woman, namely me.

Totally naive, even a bit Alice in Wonderland-like, if I wasn't right, as I bitterly found out after 3 years of marriage.

In my eyes, everything, my whole world, shattered into rubble.

If someone had told me all this when I met this man at the age of 20, I would never have believed him that our love would end like this, let alone that I would be happy to have separated from this man.

My wise mother knew everything in advance, she told me right from the start: This man will make you unhappy. Well, in the end she was right, but before he made me so unhappy, I was allowed to be wholeheartedly happy, which, in hindsight, was a great time.

Life is not a pony farm and always turns out differently than you think and cannot be planned. My father used to say that to me a lot, and now I know what he meant.

Perhaps you always have a slight premonition when something in your life is about to change.

Many separated couples have often told me that it was actually clear that a separation was inevitable. Somehow I knew from the beginning that it couldn't work with us.

Even those close to me knew from the start that it wouldn't be forever, although they never told me what they knew.

When I wanted to inform my girlfriend about the end of the relationship, her reaction was: "It was clear that it had to happen sooner or later!"

I then asked myself, is she really a good friend since she never told me about her fears?

But I came to the conclusion that it was her. She didn't want to stand in the way of my happiness with her premonition.

To be honest, I would never have listened to them during that time anyway. That's why those close to me are right to keep such predictions under wraps, otherwise there might be a row.

THE FIRST THOUGHT IS ALWAYS THE BEST

For me, this familiar first thought of separation came 2 years before I really took the plunge.

Yes, it wasn't easy, because I loved my husband from the bottom of my heart, but that was the first time he cheated on me, the number of unreported cases was certainly higher, but what I don't know doesn't make me hot.

Now this case of cheating had also occurred in my marriage. I only knew about it from stories told by my friends and from the numerous movies where this topic often turned the movie into a blockbuster. I always thought that I had a healthy partnership, we still had passionate sex and we were a well-coordinated team.

He still complimented me on my appearance, although I have to admit that I had put on a few kilos after my pregnancy. Not that I was fat, but chubby describes it very well. Well, he thought my breasts were very nice and always said that he was so happy to have a wife who was really a woman, with curves, who could cook, was a good mother and was his equal. Yes, he even said that he couldn't understand men who would leave their wives and families for a hungry young man, he would never do that.

Well, one man, one word. His first misstep was 7 years younger than me and his looks were on a par with Gisele Bündchen, she was beautiful. Just a typical man's dream. Maybe that's why I tried to forgive him, because if I'm honest: If Brad Pitt had knocked on my door, I would probably have been weak too.

Well, no matter how beautiful the misstep is, it is a huge strain on any partnership. Now that this beauty had come into our marriage, the question was: Do I strike out or do I fight for my love, for the father of my child?

Yes, I fought like a lioness and won. This also made me very happy, but actually I only fought because I was too cowardly to be alone. I'd never been responsible for my daughter and myself alone before in my life and I didn't trust myself to do it at the time.

When I found out about this affair, there was a huge argument with very nasty words, shouting and slamming doors and then I took my daughter and left, of course with the threat of never coming back. Two days with my parents in my nursery brought me back down to earth, that I had no money and no idea how I was supposed to look after my daughter and myself. How was I supposed to pay for my own apartment, how was I supposed to get a tenancy agreement at all without an income. What am I supposed to tell the future landlord? I'm a great wife and mother, and that he can trust me to manage all this even though I don't believe in myself? When I came to this bitter realization, I realized that I couldn't just leave the field, otherwise I would go down with my child.