On Being a Master Therapist E-Book

Jeffrey A. Kottler

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 475

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2014

Beschreibung

Learn from master therapists and bring your skills to the next level Bringing a breath of fresh air to the therapy profession, this compelling and thoughtful resource urges readers to move from competency to full mastery in the mental health field. Combining the findings of hundreds of previous studies, interviews with a wide range of master therapists, own unique experiences and perspectives, Jeffery A. Kottler and Jon Carlson have devised a guide that takes therapists out of their comfort zones. Professionals in the fields of psychology, counseling, social work, and human services, as well as graduate students studying for these professions, will find a level of honesty and candor in this resource, which tackles a range of essential topics in a frank, personal tone, and closes with a meaningful discussion about the challenges of striving for mastery. Master therapists and authors Kottler and Carlson explore a range of hot-button topics, such as: * Cultural misunderstandings * Disliking your clients (or having clients dislike you) * Receiving negative feedback from clients * Injecting creativity into the therapeutic process * Finding time for social justice and advocacy On Being a Master Therapist provides a much-needed look at a range of topics that aren't often given such genuine and insightful treatment, with the goal of helping you attain the attributes that truly distinguish excellence in clinical practice. Start on your journey toward mastery with this thoughtful resource.

Leseprobe

ON BEING A MASTER THERAPIST

PRACTICING WHAT YOU PREACH

JEFFREY A. KOTTLER AND JON CARLSON

Cover images: Eames Chair and Stool © Daniel Hopkinson/Arcaid/Corbis; Vertical Landscape © iStockphoto/Benjamin Howell Cover design: C. Wallace

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Copyright © 2014 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Kottler, Jeffrey A.     On being a master therapist : practicing what you preach / Jeffrey A. Kottler and Jon Carlson.         pages cm     Includes bibliographical references and index.     ISBN 978-1-118-22581-3 (pbk.)     ISBN 978-1-118-28694-4 (ebk.)     ISBN 978-1-118-28241-0 (ebk.) 1. Psychotherapists. 2. Psychotherapy—Practice. I. Carlson, Jon. II. Title.     RC480.5.K6788  2014   616.89′14—dc23

2013048874

CONTENTS

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction: Two Variations on a Theme

1 What

Is

a Master Therapist Anyway— And How Do You Get to Be One?

What Is a Master Therapist?

Different Standards of Mastery

Client and Therapist Perceptions of Outcomes

Definitions of Mastery by Experts on the Subject

2 What We (Think We) Know So Far

A Movement Toward Consensus

What Does Make a Difference?

Talking to the Masters

What Famous Therapists Appear to Have in Common

3 Deep Compassion and Caring

Creating Connections

Commitment and Investment

The Growth Edge

4 Sophisticated Interpersonal Skills: Really,

Really

Listening

“How’d You Do That?”

Little Things Make a Huge Difference

Listening Differently

Being in the Moment

5 Being Fully Present While Focusing on the Other

Altered States of Being

Mind Chatter

A Way of Being

Staying Present With Ourselves

6 Knowing What Maybe/Probably/Mostly Makes a Difference

What Makes a Difference?

Beyond Understanding: Honoring Magic and Mystery

7 Speaking the Truth

Lies in Therapy

Confronting Deception

Hard Truths

Taking Risks and Exploring the Unknown

8 Making Mistakes—But Not the Same Ones Over and Over

Making Mistakes Isn’t the Problem

Practicing Self-Compassion

Most Common Mistakes

Mistakes or Just Data to Process?

9 Inviting and Responding to Constructive Feedback

Sources of Feedback

Clients Are the Best Teachers

Feedback That’s Most Helpful

Processing Feedback Gratefully

Being Accountable to Ourselves, Our Colleagues, and Our Clients

Life-Changing Feedback

Recruiting Master Coaches and Mentors

How We Know What We Know

10 Who You Are Is as Important as What You Do

Who We Are Versus What We Do

Qualities of Master Therapists

Practicing Self-Compassion

Modeling As Best We Can

11 Acknowledging Commonalities, Responding to Differences

Multiple Cultural Identities

An Individual’s Multiplicity of Cultures

What We Share in Common

Metabolizing Theory and Embracing Complexity

12 Love Is a Four-Letter Word in Therapy

Multiple Dimensions of Caring

Owning Our Personal Motives

Learning How to Love

Love Is Always Possible

13 Getting Wild and a Little Crazy: Promoting Creative Breakthroughs

When Models and Theories Limit Our Creative Options

Sorting Out All the Voices in Our Heads

On Being Creative

Seeking New Knowledge While Embracing Mystery

You’ve Never Heard of the Most Creative Therapists

Thinking Differently About Problems

Where Has Creativity Gone?

14 Promoting Social Interest and Advocacy

Who Has Time for This?

Real Master Therapists in Action

Consistent Themes Related to Advocacy Efforts

Let’s Be Honest, Really Honest

Full Circle

15 Being a Work in Progress

A Voracious Curiosity

Confronting Despair Versus Hope

What Has Been Most Helpful Along the Way

What Has Been

Least

Helpful Along the Way

It’s About Relationships, Not Content

Mastery Means Being Able to Accept Mystery

Epilogue

References

About the Authors

Index

End User License Agreement

List of Tables

Chapter 2

Table 2.1

Guide

Cover

Table of Contents

Preface

Introduction

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PREFACE

This is a very different book about counseling and psychotherapy, one that we hope is quite unlike others you have encountered before. We can tell you with assurance that among the dozens of volumes we have written on this subject previously, this one represents our definitive word on what we think matters most in creating and sustaining superlative therapeutic practice. It is also our most personal book.

We are hardly the only ones to tackle the job of distilling more than 100 years of clinical experience between us (and an equal number of published books) to make sense of what matters most in the practice of a profession. We have been investigating nuances of our field all our lives, each a study of a particular aspect of the work that interests us most, whether that includes a discussion of ethics, failures, lies and deception, relationships, loneliness, creativity, social justice, self-care, reciprocal changes, professional identity, indigenous healing, self-supervision, group work, conflict resolution, difficult cases, and so on. Among all our attempts to make sense of what we do, and how we do it, we have yet to come to terms with what really leads to mastery in our field. There is much talk about evidence-based practice, empirically supported treatments, manualized strategies, and consensual standards, all of which settle for mere competence in particular domains. And yet we have been struggling to go far beyond minimally acceptable standards to attain a level of mastery in our work with clients. We suppose the same could be said for our writing and teaching as well: If our goal is to truly help people to grow and learn and change, why would we accept only proficiency, if not mediocrity? Just as our clients want so much more from their lives, so, too, do we strive for a degree of excellence.

Although we have consulted hundreds of sources, research studies, and books by esteemed writers and scholars who have investigated facets of mastery in the practice of therapy, we have adopted a more informal, narrative tone in this book, one that allows us to speak informally and frankly about what we think we know and understand, as well as what puzzles and disturbs us the most. Rather than using a conventional citation style, we have instead referred to particular authors and studies by name and then included the sources in our reference list (this allows us to keep the conversation with you more personal). You will also find direct quotations from some of our field’s most esteemed theorists and practitioners inserted throughout the book, most of them based on direct communications with them. We have reached deep to talk about some of the taboos, secrets, and forbidden aspects of the profession, or at least those that have been rarely discussed in a public forum rather than behind closed doors. As such, we have tried to be honest, transparent, and even vulnerable in what we say and how we say it. In short, this is the book that contains within it all we have ever hoped to say but perhaps never had the courage to speak quite so bluntly about many of the issues.

We acknowledge that the choice of the word master to describe extraordinarily accomplished therapists is somewhat problematic. Although it is most often the term applied in this context, it also comes with some colonial baggage in that it’s associated with slavery. While it is hardly our intention to conjure such associations, the word is usually the preferred choice to identify an especially skilled technician (master plumber or electrician) or professional. It denotes a practitioner who has moved beyond a journey-(wo)man or even an “expert” status, someone who is, in one sense, part of an elite group that includes an expert’s expert. We continue this discussion in the first chapter, defining in a multitude of ways the different conceptions of what it means to be an extraordinary practitioner.

Chapter 2 sets the stage for what follows by reviewing what we mostly know is true about excellence in the practice of therapy, or at least what we think we know and understand. In the chapters that are sequenced afterward, we cover some of the important facets of mastery including the practice of deep compassion and caring (Chapter 3); a set of sophisticated interpersonal skills (Chapter 4); remaining fully present in therapeutic encounters (Chapter 5); demonstrating a high level of domain- and subdomain-specific knowledge (Chapter 6); being clear-headed and honest with clients (Chapter 7), as well as with oneself in acknowledging mistakes (Chapter 8); and processing feedback (Chapter 9). As important as knowledge, wisdom, and skills are in helping people, we also insist that who we are as human beings is just as critical, especially with regard to modeling the qualities we would most like our own clients to develop (Chapter 10).

Next, we move on to discussing some of the attributes that truly distinguish excellence in clinical practice. This includes not only the mandated and critical responsiveness to cultural and individual differences of our clients, but also the deep understanding of commonalities that link all human experience (Chapter 11). Chapter 12 delves into one of the most taboo subjects in our field—a four-letter word that is rarely uttered aloud because of its associations and yet, we believe, forms the essence of what we do: the expression of nondemanding, platonic love.

Whereas extremely skilled and competent therapists have shown an ability to demonstrate consistent and reliable outcomes in their work, we believe true mastery is evidenced by those who go beyond what is known and show a level of creativity and originality that is truly remarkable (Chapter 13). Master therapists are innovators and deep thinkers, those among us who advance our knowledge through their scrupulous critical reflection and experimentation, always searching for more effective ways to be helpful to their clients. We also hold dear to our hearts the belief that truly great professionals feel a commitment to something far greater than their own clients and become actively involved in advocacy within their own communities or on a global scale (Chapter 14). There is much talk, even scolding, in our field about the obligation to promote social justice even if many of the actions remain short-lived or token efforts. We maintain that masters are those who sustain their advocacy over time, launching projects that make a difference in the lives of those who are most marginalized and who would ordinarily never seek help in our offices.

We close this exploration of mastery in therapy by talking about the ways we always fall short no matter how hard we strive for mastery (Chapter 15) and how we are all “works in progress” doing the best we can.

Acknowledgments

We are most grateful to many of our distinguished colleagues, representing a variety of theoretical orientations, who were willing to talk to us about their beliefs, thoughts, and experiences related to being a master therapist. You will find many of their ideas and wisdom sprinkled throughout the pages of this book. We are especially indebted to: Diana Fosha, Michael Yapko, Nancy McWilliams, Scott Browning, Laura Brown, Michele Weiner-Davis, Michael Hoyt, Scott Miller, Bradford Keeney, Kirk Schneider, Judy Jordan, Les Greenberg, Roger Walsh, Frances Vaughan, Keith Dobson, Pat Love, David Cain, William Doherty, Robert Wubbolding, Melba Vasquez, Bruce Wampold, Albert and Debbie Ellis, and Barry Duncan. In addition to those who specifically offered their input on the subject of mastery in the practice of therapy for this book, we have been privileged to interview some of the most noted figures in the field during the past decade, many of whom have been highly influential helping us to develop our own ideas on this subject. We appreciate the contributions over the years from a number of noted figures who spoke with us about their best and worst work, including: Albert Ellis, Jay Haley, William Glasser, Jim Bugental, Susan Johnson, Insoo Kim Berg, Alan Marlatt, Len Sperry, David Scharff, Patricia Arredondo, Ken Hardy, Violet Oaklander, Harville Hendrix, Arnold Lazarus, Frank Pittman, Nick Cummings, John Norcross, Bill O’Hanlon, Cloe Madanes, Jeff Zeig, Steve Madigan, Robert Neimeyer, Alvin Mahrer, John Krumboltz, and Peggy Papp.

As you will see in the pages that unfold, it has been a long and challenging journey to complete this book, given a number of crises and health issues that cropped up along the way. We appreciate the patience and support of Rachel Livsey, who has been so very understanding during the eventual completion of this project that represents our life’s work.

Jeffrey Kottler, Huntington Beach, California

Jon Carlson, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin

INTRODUCTION: TWO VARIATIONS ON A THEME

Jon Carlson

I am dying.

I’ve been told there’s only a 20% chance that I will survive the next year so I will likely not see the publication of this book.

Cancer has penetrated my bones, circulating throughout my blood, infesting my lymph glands, growing tumors along my spine. My vertebrae are being crushed by the tumors, causing unrelenting agony.

Of course, I’ve always been dying. So have you. It’s just likely to happen sooner for me than for you.

Jeffrey Kottler

There’s nothing like the casual mention of impending death to scare the heck out of me; it’s even worse when it is one of my oldest and dearest friends who seems determined to treat the diagnosis as an inconvenient annoyance, a mere interruption of our latest project to explore what it means to be a master therapist.