The Death of Porn E-Book

Ray Ortlund

• Herausgeber: Crossway
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

ECPA Christian Book Award Finalist Your Battle against Porn Isn't about Porn. It's about Hope. Pornography may seem inescapable, but God can free us from its destructive power. The gospel replaces the dehumanizing lies of pornography with this surprising truth: God created us as royalty. How then can we reclaim our God-given identity to take a stand against—and ultimately starve—the predatory porn industry? In The Death of Porn, Ray Ortlund writes six personal letters, as from a father to his son. Ideal for individuals and small groups, it will give hope to men who have been misled by porn into devaluing themselves and others. Through Scripture and personal stories, Ortlund assures readers that God loves them the most tenderly in their moments of deepest shame. The Death of Porn inspires men to come together in new ways to fight the injustice of porn and build a world of nobility for every man and woman—for the sake of future generations.

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“It is rare that you find honesty and humility as well as honor in modern leaders. However, Ray Ortlund has exhibited such qualities and earned respect across multiple arenas. When a potential vacancy arose for the chaplaincy in the United States Congress, Ray Ortlund was first on our list. It is this level of trustworthiness that allows Ray to challenge the stronghold of exploitation endemic to pornography. Ray’s transparent approach cuts through the superficial layers, getting to the heart of the matter. This is a book that everyone should read, reminding us all of the value of being created in God’s image.”

Mark Walker, former congressman, North Carolina

“The subject of pornography tends to be embarrassing and can evoke feelings of helplessness and shame. Ray Ortlund refuses to pile onto that shame, and he wants you to know you’re not helpless. Like a loving and compassionate father, he calls us to freedom, to a better life, and to the death of porn’s grip on our imaginations that robs us of the true and beautiful intimacy our souls desperately hunger for.”

Matt Chandler, Lead Pastor, The Village Church, Dallas, Texas; President, Acts 29 Church Planting Network; author, The Mingling of Souls and The Explicit Gospel

“In the pages of this book, Ray beautifully and compellingly calls us to be men of integrity building a world of nobility. He does this winsomely, graciously, and wisely in the form of letters infused with the tenderness and manliness of a father to his dear sons. I truly believe this book has the potential to be a culture changer. It will certainly impact, for the better, all who read and heed its wise and noble call.”

Brian Brodersen, Pastor, Calvary Chapel, Costa Mesa, California

“Over the last couple years, I’ve gotten to know Ray Ortlund on a deeper level. He’s struck me as a man of integrity and conviction, so when I heard he was writing a book to help Christians fight this evil thing called porn, I wasn’t surprised. His book is a great blend of theological depth and relatable, practical tools that I believe will help all people battle pornography use and addiction. Porn destroys families, relationships, and marriages, but most of all, it keeps us distant from God and near our shame. Thank you, Ray, for tackling this topic with such boldness and truth. Heaven is smiling at you.”

Preston Perry, poet; performance artist; teacher; apologist

“The Death of Porn is the kind of book I want my sons and daughters to read. With sage counsel, Ray Ortlund tenderly leads and courageously calls us to envision a world free from the plague of pornography. This book inspires contrition over sin, instills courage against sin, and compels us to cast our hope fully upon Jesus.”

Garrett Kell, Pastor, Del Ray Baptist Church, Alexandria, Virginia; author, Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God

“The Death of Porn is a magnificent work of hope. Ray Ortlund does not shame us or flatter us. He lifts us into a sense of our own destiny—not with his words but with God’s. This book deepened my resolve to avoid living beneath my God-given dignity and to carve out a world of nobility as never before. We allowed porn in. By God’s grace, we can drive it out. It’s what we were born to do. If I could, I would put this book into the hands of every man in my generation.”

T. J. Tims, Lead Pastor, Immanuel Church, Nashville, Tennessee

The Death of Porn

The Death of Porn

Men of Integrity Building a World of Nobility

Ray Ortlund

Foreword by Thabiti Anyabwile

The Death of Porn: Men of Integrity Building a World of Nobility

Copyright © 2021 by Raymond C. Ortlund Jr.

Published by Crossway1300 Crescent StreetWheaton, Illinois 60187

Published in association with the literary agency of Wolgemuth & Associates.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.

Cover design: Brian Bobel

First printing 2021

Printed in the United States of America

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotation marked NEB is taken from the New English Bible, copyright © Cambridge University Press and Oxford University Press 1961, 1970. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotation marked Phillips is from The New Testament in Modern English by J. B. Phillips © 1960, 1972 J. B. Phillips. Administered by The Archbishops’ Council of the Church of England. Used by Permission.

Scripture quotations marked REB are taken from the Revised English Bible, copyright © Cambridge University Press and Oxford University Press 1989. All rights reserved.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the author.

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-7669-0 ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-7672-0 PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-7670-6 Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-7671-3

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Ortlund, Raymond C., Jr. author.

Title: The death of porn : men of integrity building a world of nobility / Ray Ortlund ; foreword by Thabiti Anyabwile.

Description: Wheaton, Illinois : Crossway, 2021. | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021002537 (print) | LCCN 2021002538 (ebook) | ISBN 9781433576690 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781433576706 (pdf) | ISBN 9781433576713 (mobipocket) | ISBN 9781433576720 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Pornography—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Christian men—Sexual behavior. | Christian men—Conduct of life.

Classification: LCC BV4597.6 .O78 2021 (print) | LCC BV4597.6 (ebook) | DDC 241/.667—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021002537

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021002538

Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

2021-08-03 02:24:49 PM

For my grandsons—

may you thrive as men of integrity.

And for my granddaughters—

may you flourish in a world of nobility.

Contents

Foreword by Thabiti Anyabwile

Introduction: The Backstory

Part 1 Reintroducing the Characters

1  You Are Royalty

2  She Is Royalty

3  He Is Royalty

Part 2 Reimagining the Future

4  We Can Do This

5  We Can Work Together

6  We Can Make a World of Difference

Acknowledgments

Appendix: A Man’s Identity

  David Powlison

General Index

Scripture Index

Foreword

Even to some of us older cats, Ray Ortlund is a father figure. He gained that status not through assertion, position, or power but through encouragement, exhortation, empathy, and a seemingly boundless energy for Jesus. He’s the kind of man you admire because you have the unshakeable sense that he loves you. And not just you. Everybody.

This is why Ray is an ideal choice for addressing one of the biggest scourges of our time—pornography. Right now, in homes, offices, and cars across the country, pornography is attaching its tentacles to the eyes, minds, and hearts of men, women, boys, and girls. It’s sneaking into the lives of innocents through click bait and thirst traps. Pornography is attempting to tighten its grip on teenagers exploding with pubescent change, married men and women courting wanderlust in joyless as well as joyful marriages, and Christian leaders trying to maintain double lives of outward success and inward corruption. What used to be confined to magazines has made its way into the mainstream of society and the church.

Ray Ortlund understands that defeating the porn monster will not come by white-knuckle, jaw-clenched grit individually willing its way to victory when all other soldiers have fallen. Victory can be had, but only in the loving community of the local church with saints covenanted together to stand against the wiles of the enemy in the truth of Jesus’s gospel and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Ray understands that a teammate’s hug is a much stronger weapon than a fan’s pat on the back with a “dat a boy.” That’s why he writes about this most sensitive and dangerous subject with the tone and warmth of a fellow traveler.

In this book, Ray uses words to God-glorifying, soul-edifying effect. It’s not that he’s being clever or flattering. His words are simply devastating—in a good way. It’s the effect of his sincerity! If out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, then deep in the wells of Ray’s heart is a reservoir of fragrant balm and strengthening sweetness. Not the off-the-shelf sweetness of sugary snacks cheapened by additives and preservatives. These pages give us the mature sweetness of aging, like fine maple syrup, tapped with humility and experience, oozing from his heart to the reader’s.

As you read this book, you get the sense that this is what the apostle Paul meant when describing his ministry among the Thessalonians:

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. . . .

For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. (1 Thess. 2:7, 11–12)

I don’t know what kind of book on pornography you expected to read. But I suspect this book will surprise you with that strength of Christ that comes from love. It will remind you of who you are in Christ, of who the men and women around you are in God’s image, of the fact that you are not alone. There is help. There is victory. There is a way to regain the regality of being royalty, because God in Christ is renewing you and me in his image.

This book speaks to the discouraged and distracted, the suffering and sullen, the unbelieving and the unsuspecting, the haughty and the halting. It’s for everyone who, even for a moment, thinks victory over pornography is not possible. It’s for you because victory is not only possible—victory has been accomplished for us by Jesus the risen Savior.

Come, let Ray introduce you to this Jesus and shepherd you to the freedom and joy found in him.

Thabiti Anyabwile

Pastor, Anacostia River Church

Washington, DC

Introduction

The Backstory

Thanks for picking up this book. I hope it helps. I hope it changes things. A lot of things.

I hope reading it messes with you. Writing it sure has messed with me.

Here’s all you need to know about me:

I am a Christian pastor.I love my wife.I am not looking at porn.I am a sexual sinner.

I wish that last one weren’t true. But there’s a brothel in the neighborhood of my mind, and I’ve wandered in there a time or two. It’s a big part of why I’m thankful for the grace of Jesus. Never once has a stop-off at that Fantasyland made my life better. And never once has Jesus refused to take me back and clean me up.

If you’re a sexual sinner too, this book is for you. Not the outwardly okay you, but the inwardly messy you. The real you, like the real me.

This book is not about you just getting polished up a bit here and there, making yourself more socially presentable. It’s about your heart finally daring to believe in your true royalty. It’s about the “real you” gaining traction for new integrity, especially in honest brotherhood with other men. It’s about you, with other magnificent young men like you, building a new world of nobility, where both men and women can flourish.

What got me started on this book was a letter written over two hundred years ago. In the final days of his life, John Wesley, a minister in the Church of England, wrote a letter to a young politician named William Wilberforce. Wesley had urged him to use his political clout for opposing the slave trade in the British Empire. Wilberforce did. He made that fight his life mission. He was bitterly opposed by powerful people. But with God’s help, Wilberforce and his allies finally defeated the slave trade and made the world a better place.

Here is Wesley’s letter. And please overlook the old-fashioned style! Just notice what Wesley was asking Wilberforce to do—to take a bold stand against a successful evil that many people accepted as no big deal.

Dear Sir,

Unless the divine power has raised you up to be as Athanasius contra mundum,1 I see not how you can go through your glorious enterprise in opposing that execrable villainy which is the scandal of religion, of England, and of human nature. Unless God has raised you up for this very thing, you will be worn out by the opposition of men and devils. But if God be for you, who can be against you? Are all of them together stronger than God? O be not weary of well doing! Go on, in the name of God and in the power of His might, till even American slavery (the vilest that ever saw the sun) shall vanish away before it.

Reading this morning a tract written by a poor African,2 I was particularly struck by that circumstance that a man who has black skin, being wronged or outraged by a white man, can have no redress, it being a law in all our colonies that the oath of a black against a white goes for nothing. What villainy is this!

That He who has guided you from youth up may continue to strengthen you in this and all things is the prayer of,

Dear Sir,

Your affectionate servant,

John Wesley

Balam

24 Feb. 17913

I love that. The dignified “Dear Sir,” the inspiring “glorious enterprise,” the blunt “execrable4 villainy,” the realistic “opposition of men and devils.” Sign me up!

Anyway, this old letter got me thinking: What about us today? What if not just one man but a whole generation of men takes a bold stand against the new slave trade of our time—pornography? Slavery is not gone. It’s still going strong, but in a new form. Multitudes of men and women are in bondage to the degrading slavery of porn.

Which makes porn a justice issue. And Son, I know you’re not okay with injustice! You know how God’s heart breaks when people are oppressed and vandalized and dehumanized. But did you know he’s calling you—just as he called Wilberforce—to do something about it? And you can do something about it, because God himself will help you.

Yes, the human odds are against you. The porn industry has dug in. It won’t loosen its grip easily. Many people in our day just accept it—the way people accepted racialized slavery back then. That’s why Wesley mentioned “Athanasius against the world.” Athanasius was a heroic man who went up against impossible odds, confronting a major wrong in his time for the sake of future generations. And he won, because God was with him—the way God is with you today.

Yes, you. Almighty God above is with you.

Don’t tell yourself you’re into your own sexual sin too deep to get free, much less to set others free. You have a future worth reaching for. I want to help you get there.

Here’s what I ask you to remember all along the way. Your battle against porn isn’t about porn. It isn’t about sex. It isn’t about willpower. Your battle is about hope. It’s about your heart believing that in spite of your many sins—like my many sins—God rejoices to give you a future you can scarcely dream of. You’ll win your fight by believing that God’s love for you is too great to be limited to what you deserve.

If you see yourself living under a grim law of crime and punishment, with you always getting the karma you deserve, your hope will die. Your despair will sink you down into resignation, and from there you’ll spiral down into porn and shame, then more porn and more shame, and on and on. You know what I mean.

But I’m asking you to defy all despair, because God gives his best to men who deserve his worst. I’m asking you to believe the Bible: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). I’m asking you to reject the hell your sins deserve. I’m asking you to sin against your sins. I’m asking you to receive, with the empty hands of faith, a future so magnificent it can only come from the grace of God. When your heart grabs on to that hope, porn’s spell is broken, and your freedom is dawning. So maybe you are a mess. But with Jesus, you’re a messy winner, because you’re his mess. And so am I.

Let’s start this journey together by you and me choosing to flat-out believe the most repeated verse in the Bible—that our Lord is “a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Ex. 34:6). His personality profile is not balanced but biased—in favor of grace for the undeserving.5

Everything I’m going to say flows from this bright certainty about who God really is.

And once you’ve settled in your mind that you do have a future worth getting excited about, then you can help form a rebel movement—defiant young men who will someday dance on porn’s grave, multitudes of men no longer groveling but standing tall and loving life again. And all of it, thanks to God.

That old letter from John Wesley is why I’ve written each chapter here as a letter—from me to you, from an older man to a younger man, calling you to give your life to this sacred cause of liberation. But it isn’t just me. God is calling you to grow a counterculture where countless men and women can get their lives back, better than before, and forever.

That’s why I wrote this book—to start a movement. Because you matter, and everyone matters. And when God gets involved, we stop limiting how much good we can receive from him and how much good we can give to the world.

I don’t expect to live many more years. But if this book helps you bring some healing to our injured world, I’ll come to my dying day a happier man.

1  Athanasius was a fourth-century bishop of Alexandria, in Egypt. He opposed the widespread heresy known as Arianism. He was so outnumbered, he became known as “Athanasius against the world.”

2  Wesley is referring to Gustavus Vassa, born in Africa in 1745, kidnapped and sold as a slave in Barbados, and brought to England in 1757.

3  Spelling, capitalization, and punctuation adapted from the digitized manuscript of Wesley’s letter, Methodist Library at Drew University, December 6, 2005, http://methodistlibrary.blogspot.com/2005/12/as-promised-more-digital-wesley.html.

4  “Execrable” means “deserving damnation.”

5  Sam Allberry, “The Most Repeated Verse in the Bible,” Desiring God (website), October 3, 2018, https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-most-repeated-verse-in-the-bible.

Part 1

Reintroducing the Characters

1

You Are Royalty

Dear Son,

You matter. You matter more than you know. That’s what I want to talk to you about—your