The Xenophobe's Guide to the Irish E-Book

Frank McNally

• Herausgeber: Xenophobe's Guides
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Serie: Xenophobe's Guides
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2008

Seitenzahl: 98

Beschreibung

A guide to understanding the Irish that unravels their idiosyncracies and national characteristics.

Das E-Book The Xenophobe's Guide to the Irish wird angeboten von Xenophobe's Guides und wurde mit folgenden Begriffen kategorisiert:

Leseprobe

Contents

Title Page

Nationalism & Identity

Character

Behaviour

Language

Conversation

Sense of Humour

Culture

Literature

Food

Sport

Obsession

Attitudes & Values

Customs

Government

Business

Systems

About the Author

Copyright

The number of Irish in the Republic of Ireland is 4 million, of which 1.3 million live in greater Dublin which is almost as many as the number of people who live in Northern Ireland. The combined population is thus around 5.5 million, compared with 3 million Welsh, 5 million Scots, 21 million Aussies, 52 million English and 307 million Americans.

The Republic of Ireland is nearly five times the size of Northern Ireland, but could fit into Florida twice. However, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland taken together are a bit larger than Scotland.

Nationalism & Identity

Forewarned

There is a country called Ireland and a state called Ireland, and these are not the same thing. The country called Ireland includes Northern Ireland whereas the state called Ireland once claimed to include it, and now merely aspires to include it, eventually. For the moment, a majority of Northern Ireland’s population prefers the status quo (union* with Great Britain, that is, not the 1970s rock band).

“You may know Ireland as ‘The Republic of Ireland’, but this is only the working title.”

You may know Ireland as ‘The Republic of Ireland’, but this is only a working title. The name of the state is ‘Ireland’, or in the Irish language ‘Eire’. For obvious reasons, the pro-British majority of Northern Ireland dislikes using the term ‘Ireland’ to refer to the Republic. So although they have no enthusiasm for the Irish language, they often use the term ‘Eire’ in English. This is considered an insult by people in the Republic, and is intended as such by Northern Ireland unionists, although both sides would have a hard job to explain why. English people sometimes use ‘Eire’ without intended insult, which is OK because they don’t know any better.

“Many people in the Republic don’t like using the term Northern Ireland, because the capital letters make it look too permanent.”

Many people in the Republic don’t like using the term Northern Ireland, because the capital letters make it look too permanent. Depending on how nationalistic they are, they prefer to call it ‘the occupied six counties’ (extreme nationalist), ‘the wee six’ (extreme nationalist with folksy sense of humour), ‘the north of Ireland’ (moderate nationalist), or just ‘the North’, complete with capital N (liberal, sophisticated, hardly nationalist at all, just making a point). Pro-British northerners also sometimes use the province-name ‘Ulster’ for Northern Ireland. But Northern Ireland contains only two-thirds of Ulster – the rest is in the Republic, and people there don’t like the U-name being misappropriated.

“The country called Ireland is a diplomatic minefield for the unwary.”

In short, the country called Ireland is a diplomatic minefield for the unwary. The safest thing is to refer informally to ‘the north’ and ‘the south’. If you speak fast enough, no-one will able to tell whether you’re using capital letters. Just remember that the most northerly part of the south – Donegal – is further north than anywhere in the North. Otherwise, the already high risk of getting lost in Ireland (see Road Signs) will be increased unnecessarily.

The Border

The Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland are divided by a line known simply as ‘the Border’. This may be conspicuous on maps and even in books and newspapers, where it is often given a capital ‘B’, but it is usually less conspicuous on the ground. You can cross it repeatedly without even noticing (a claim made by the British army when it was caught on the wrong side).

“The Border is marked by nothing more than a stream or bridge. But the line often passes through individual farms, farmyards, and houses.”

Typically, the Border is marked by nothing more than a stream or bridge. But the line often passes through individual farms, farmyards, and houses. Indeed, thanks to the lucrative fuel-excise differentials between North and South, it even sometimes passes through large diesel tanks, owned by smugglers.

Road signs are usually a reliable indication that you have changed jurisdictions. In the South, direction signs appear – if they appear at all – in both English and Irish; whereas in the North, they’re in English only. Post-boxes provide clues too. As in other parts of the U.K., the North has the distinctive red Victorian post-box. The Republic also has the distinctive red Victorian post-box, except that, after independence, it was painted green.

Perhaps the most reliable indicators that you have crossed the Border are flags. Northern Ireland’s rival communities like to display flags and emblems to demonstrate their respective loyalties, and the areas immediately north of the Border are mostly nationalist. So when you’re driving northwards and suddenly, everywhere you look, you see the flag of the Republic, you can take it as a certainty you’re no longer in it.

The eight hundred years of oppression

“Irish history is a long series of invasions, with one notable blip: in a cruel irony, the Romans decided Ireland was too wet to bother with.”

Irish history is a long series of invasions, with one notable blip: in a cruel irony, the Romans – whose genius for plumbing could have been useful – decided Ireland was too wet to bother with. Few other marauding armies passed up the opportunity, however, so it was no great surprise when the Normans arrived from Britain in 1169, and launched the Eight Hundred Years of Oppression.

Once ensconced, they ignored repeated hints to leave. But as had happened with all previous invaders, the Normans (or the ‘Old English’, as they became known) were soon assimilated, becoming, in a famous phrase, ‘more Irish than the Irish themselves’. This development was regarded with concern back in England, where the New English had become more Norman than the Normans themselves.

“The English ‘planted’ new settlers who were more water-resistant than the Normans and less vulnerable to the effects of Celtic mist.”

Reconquering Ireland, they imposed Penal Laws which banned a number of popular activities, e.g., ‘being Irish’. They also ‘planted’ new settlers who were more water-resistant than the Normans and less vulnerable to the effects of Celtic mist. The settlers who were introduced to the North of Ireland in the 17th century were assimilation-proof partly because of religion. Whereas the Irish and the Old English remained Roman Catholic after the Reformation, these newcomers were Protestants of two main Scottish types – ‘Staunch’ and ‘Fierce’. Britain’s wars of religion came to a head on Irish soil in the battles of the Boyne (1690) and Aughrim (1691), when God lined out for both sides, but apparently fought a bit harder for the Protestants.

By Irish standards, the 18th century was peaceful with only one attempted revolution at a cost of 30,000 or so lives. An indirect cause of this rebellion in 1798 was the Act of Union which made Ireland and Britain a single parliamentary unit. During the 19th century, famine and mass emigration reduced the population of Ireland by half. For those left alive the campaign for Home Rule took on a new urgency.

In 1916 militant republicans had another go. Unlike all previous uprisings which were marked by unrealistic optimism, the insurgents this time shrewdly calculated they would lose. They even devised a cunning revolutionary concept known as ‘the triumph of failure’. The plan was a huge success when the British not only put down the rebellion but shot the leaders, thereby alienating public opinion and swinging it behind the rebels. Independence followed for 26 of Ireland’s 32 counties.

“The term Eight Hundred Years of Oppression has become frozen in time, like a listed building.”

The Protestants in the North – now more British than the British themselves – vetoed moves for an all-Ireland republic and set up their own parliament, loyal to the crown, in Belfast. It was based on the concept of ‘one-man, one-vote’, but only loosely. Anti-Catholic discrimination was widespread, so that by 1969 – the octocentenary of the Norman invasion – Irish nationalists could officially proclaim themselves victims of Eight Hundred Years of Oppression. They still claim copyright on the term.

(Many northern Catholics still considered themselves oppressed well into the 1990s, earning the title of the ‘Most Oppressed People Ever’, or MOPE, for short. A few enthusiasts still make the effort to feel oppressed today. However, the term Eight Hundred Years of Oppression has become frozen in time, like a listed building on to which you cannot add an extension.)

Anthems

Like many national anthems, the Irish one is an old-fashioned call to arms against (unnamed) invaders. Out of politeness, however, it is always sung in Irish, so friendly visitors won’t understand the words and therefore can’t take it personally. Many Irish people don’t understand the words either. But this is not usually a problem.

“The national anthem is always sung in Irish, so friendly visitors won’t understand the words and therefore can’t take it personally.”

Where the anthem does cause problems is in sports such as rugby, in which Ireland fields an all-island team. Although Ulster rugby players – drawn almost exclusively from the pro-British Protestant community – are even less likely to understand the words, they have always known that the song does not represent their tradition. Eventually the sport’s authorities were forced to come up with a neutral alternative.

The result is that at home rugby internationals there are now two anthems: the official Irish-language one about fighting for freedom, and the English-language which also mentions fighting, but of a vague, non-political kind. Luckily, only the latter is played at away fixtures. Otherwise on visits to South Africa, where they also have two anthems, the pre-match ceremonies would last longer than the game.

To use or not to use the B-word

The land masses off the north-western shore of France are known to the world collectively as the British Isles. It’s a convenient description, and well-balanced Irish people don’t object strongly to it. What they do object to is when foreigners go further and assume that the inhabitants of Ireland may be described – even in a loose sense – as British.

“British people have a particular habit of referring to the Irish as British, and the Irish are always tuned in when they do.”

This is a big faux pas. About 900,000 Irish people, mostly in the north-east, consider themselves British to one degree or another. The other four-and-a-half million fume at their television sets every time an Irish person or thing is so described. For some, if their lives have any meaning at all, it is that they’re not British.

The problem is exacerbated by the fact that transmission of Britain’s broadcasting service, the BBC, extends as far as the Republic of Ireland (where, happily, its licence fee does not). So opportunities for insult are frequent. British people have a particular habit of referring to the Irish as British, and the Irish are always tuned in when they do.

They know it’s not meant to offend, but the careless application of the B-word feels like an inappropriate touch from a former partner with whom they were enjoying a friendly drink after recovering, through counselling, from a bitter marriage. They may well be steeped in British culture (they get all the newspapers too, although they have to pay for those), and it will always be part of their lives, but they’ve moved on now, and they’d like people to respect that.

Famous Seamus

“A popular perception of the Irish is that they’re all fiery, freckle-faced red-heads.”

There is even a perception in Ireland – based on a combination of careful observation and paranoia – that the B-word is only applied to them when they’re successful. The issue is confused because, for many Irish, the flight-plan to fame involves an onward connection through, and sometimes a stop-over in, London. Baggage problems are inevitable. The Nobel-prize-winning