This I Believe E-Book

Dan Gediman

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Seitenzahl: 180

Beschreibung

Compelling stories of fatherhood from the popular NPR radio show From the popular radio series This I Believe comes this touching and thought-provoking compilation of original essays on one of the most fundamental of human relationships-fatherhood. It is a relationship filled with joy and heartbreak, love and anger, lessons learned, and opportunities missed. The stories in this collection are engaging and meaningful. Some are reverential and loving; some are sad and clouded by yearning, loss, and regret: You'll read reflections from expectant and new dads, full of optimism, as well as from longtime parents who, through the distance of time, are able to reflect on their successes and failures as fathers. We also hear from children (some young and some well into adulthood) writing about their fathers. They honestly and openly introduce us to the men who shaped them, sometimes in surprising ways. They talk about the fathers they want to emulate, the mistakes they hope to avoid repeating, and the wisdom they realized they've gained. This I Believe: On Fatherhood offers a compelling portrait of the diverse range of experiences and beliefs related to the father-child relationship. With personal insights and inspiration, this collection makes a wonderful gift for long-time fathers, new fathers, and fathers-to-be.

Leseprobe

CONTENTS

Introduction

Truth and the Santa Claus Moment

The Last Harvest

The Dads We Were Given

Forgiving My Dad

Appreciating the Moment

Whistling in the Light

Lingering at the Doors

A Love Beyond Boundaries

Hunting Pennies

A Mark in History

Trimming

A Father Is Born from Many Strangers

The Cards Will Hear You

Finding a Different Way

Life Is Wonderfully Ridiculous

Never Give Up

The Choice to Do It Over Again

The Wonders of the Future

The Best Legacy I Can Leave

To Be the Best Humans We Can Be

Work Is a Blessing

Hands at Rest

The Myths of Manhood

Love with No Limits

An Ordinary Adventure

My Earthly Father

The Give-and-Take of Grief

The Lawn Is Life

The Bricks in the Wall Around My Heart

The First Breath

Finding My Father in a Small World

I Am Capable of More Than I Think I Am

Teacher

Five Dollars of Forgiveness

Nothing New Under the Sun

Respect Yourself

Gardens and Their Power to Heal

Embarrassing My Kids

A Father’s Lectures

Where the Soul of Man Never Dies

Forgive the Rest

His Difference Is His Strength

The Power of Fishing

The Greatest Thing

Big Thinking

Transforming Fatherhood

Keep the Tempo Steady

A Lesson from My Dad

Living and Loving Life

The Best Education in the World

What It Takes

With Brown Shoes to Match

Forever in Love

My Father, Christ

Making Choices That Make Me Smile

The Measure of a Man

Little Acts of Goodness

Leaving Work to Gaze at Sunsets

A Stack of Rocks

When Angels Miss

Appendix : How to Write Your Own This I Believe Essay

Acknowledgments

Previous books published by John Wiley & Sons in the This I Believe series, edited by Dan Gediman, John Gregory, and Mary Jo Gediman:

This I Believe: On Love

Copyright © 2011 by This I Believe, Inc. All rights reserved.

This I Believe® is a registered trademark of This I Believe, Inc.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

On fatherhood / edited by Dan Gediman; with John Gregory and Mary Jo Gediman.

p. cm. — (This I believe)

ISBN 978-0-470-87647-3 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-02554-3 (ebk);

ISBN 978-1-118-02556-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-02557-4 (ebk)

1. Fatherhood. 2. Fathers. I. Gediman, Dan. II. Gregory, John, date.

III. Gediman, Mary Jo.

HQ756.O53 2011

306.874′2—dc22

2011002093

To Margot Trevor Wheelock,

who was responsible for

This I Believe

Introduction

Since launching This I Believe on public radio in 2005, we have received some 90,000 essays from men, women, and young people from all walks of life. Every day, our team reads through these essays, and we have noticed that certain themes recur time and again: love and friendship, faith and spirituality, patriotism and democracy.

The parent-child relationship looms especially large in this collection as the one relationship we all experience: we are all someone’s child, and many of us are parents (either literally or symbolically) to a young person. It is a relationship that many of the world’s sacred texts enjoin us to honor. It is a relationship filled with joy and heartbreak, love and anger, lessons learned, and opportunities missed.

Given how prominently paternal figures play in our culture, we decided to continue our book series with this collection on fatherhood, which we hope to follow soon with an edition on motherhood. We are excited to offer you these intimate, heartfelt views into one of our most fundamental relationships. Although relatively brief, these essays brim with memorable characters—fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters—trying to navigate life’s challenges, large and small.

Under the best circumstances, fathers are a positive role model: think Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird or Dr. Cliff Huxtable from television’s The Cosby Show—the honorable, dependable, loving stalwarts who teach life lessons by example and with a touch of humor. Yet at other times, the father may be more like King Lear or Willy Loman, figures so dark and troubled that their parenting skills may have no redeeming qualities. In reality, though, most of our fathers don’t fit the archetypes of literature or popular culture. They are simply human—men trying above all else to live up to the enormous expectations that their families, modern society, and their own aspirations place on them.

Regardless of the nature of the filial bond, the father-child relationship offers innumerable opportunities for both parties to learn, and grow, and form belief.

In this book, you’ll read reflections from expectant dads, full of optimism and prebirth jitters, as well as from longtime parents who, through the distance of time, are able to reflect on their successes and failures as fathers. We also hear from and about adoptive fathers, single dads, step-fathers, and men who volunteer to fill the shoes of absent fathers.

You’ll also read essays from children (some young and some well into adulthood) writing about their fathers. They honestly and openly introduce us to the men who shaped them, sometimes in surprising ways. They talk about the fathers they want to emulate, the mistakes they hope to avoid repeating, and the wisdom they realized they gained.

“So, you’re creating a guidebook for being a good father,” one person said upon hearing about this collection of essays. In a way, perhaps we are. There are certainly valuable insights to be gleaned from these essays that could benefit new or soon-to-be dads. But more than that, we see this book as an invitation to reflect on the give-and-take in any relationship between an elder and a younger person—that there are opportunities for both parties to love and to grow.

We hear the wisdom and acceptance that comes with time, of children who mature enough to finally hear the message from Dad, and of fathers who finally embrace the child as he or she truly is. Sometimes the life lessons are written down, such as the police officer with a letter tucked in his locker with instructions to give it to his children in case of his death. Other times, the lessons are spoken, as when a father lectures his son on how to deal with a racist remark. Sometimes they are delivered on a basketball court, in a garden, or at the barbershop.

Taken as a whole, these stories of fathers and their children remind us that life’s most mundane moments—changing diapers, mowing the lawn, casting for fish, pondering the existence of Santa Claus—can reveal deeper, richer insights if we’re quiet enough and patient enough to discover them.

Truth and the Santa Claus Moment

COREY HARBAUGH

I believe our lives are condensed into moments like this one: my son Tucker approached me at the grill where I was focused on fire and dinner, unaware that his eight-year-old mind was struggling for the right words to fit around a question. Finally, he spoke: “Dad, if I asked you if it was you who bought presents at Christmas instead of Santa, would you tell me?”

I heard questions within questions: is there a Santa Claus, what is Christmas if there isn’t, and, most important, can I trust you to tell me the truth, Dad? At the heart of each question I heard my son asking if he could still believe what he had believed all his life.

I couldn’t answer him just then because his six-year-old sister and five-year-old, soon-to-be stepbrother were playing nearby in the yard, and also because I couldn’t turn from the grill to look fully into his eyes like I wanted to for as long as it took both of us to understand.

How we answer these questions matters, and though we spend hours and days and weeks and years trying to figure out the answers, we only get to live them out in small moments. This was one of those moments, for both of us.

All of my life I have tried to put words around the questions about what I believe, and have found that the answers to my biggest questions have no words. They have moments. Like noticing the nun who wept while she prayed in St. Peter’s, an island of quiet faith surrounded by a sea of noisy tourists. Like the upwelling of pride and fear when my daughter took to her bike the first time, her legs pumping her steady, and steadily away from me. Like burying my grandfather on the same day my son was born. Like sitting around the coffee table with my children and their mother two years prior, watching their faces come short of comprehending the word “divorce.”

That night after dinner I took Tuck for a bike ride, and we sat on a grassy hill drinking a soda, watching the orange sun sink behind a line of trees. I brought up his question from the grill. “Tuck, earlier you asked me about Santa.”

He stopped me. “Don’t answer me, Dad. I think I know the answer, and right now I just want something to believe in.”

I turned to my son and was able to finally look into his big eyes. “Tucker, your question was if you asked me about Santa, would I tell you, and my answer is yes. If you ask, I will tell you.”

He considered this a moment, smiled, and before he drank the last swallow of soda pop he told me easily, “Then I’m not going to ask.”

That was good enough for both of us. For now. There will be other questions like this to come, no doubt. They, too, will have their moments.

COREY HARBAUGH lives in Gobles, Michigan, and teaches English at the local high school. As a member of the Third Coast Writing Project, Mr. Harbaugh promotes the power of writing in the National Writing Project network. He and his wife are raising four children in a healthy, busy blended family.