Vertigo in Thailand E-Book

Steve Price

• Herausgeber: BookRix
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

These are just a few stories and events that happened to me during my first 5 years of travelling to SE Asia. In particular Thailand. These events helped change me and look at life in a different way. Some of the events I am not proud of, others still resonate with me today. I hope you enjoy.

Leseprobe

Steve Price

Vertigo in Thailand

2000 - 2005 The first 5 years

Dedicated to those I have met, I have known and especially those who helped BookRix GmbH & Co. KG80331 Munich

Introduction

The beginning

Where did it all start? More to the point, why did it all start? It was in February 2000 and I had just come out of another long and arduous relationship of 10 years and I was 37 years old. My younger sister Daisy had just returned from a New Year in Thailand and I had met her in a small coffee shop in Harpenden, England and she raved about the land of smiles. “Steve, you’re single now and you have got to go there, it’s fantastic, the people are great and so friendly”. I being a loving brother just nodded and agreed and thought nothing more of it, but week after week she would call me and badger me about buying a ticket and booking the bloody holiday. Eventually, to shut her up more than anything I booked it for the August.

I went to my local travel agency and decided on a 2 week holiday, 3 days in Bangkok and 9 days in Pattaya, I got myself a brochure and some books on Thailand and starting reading up. Now for you who know what Pattaya is like and do not like it, my excuse was I was naïve and I did not know, for those of you who do not know what Pattaya is like, keep reading. Anyway I started to become a bit attached to the brochure and took it everywhere I went, I would read it sitting on the toilet, re-read it in bed, during my breaks at work and any spare time I would get. You could say that, that brochure and I became a bit of an item together. I would show to everyone who would look at it and then go and search out people who had not seen it, I became a boring fart with that brochure and people would walk the other way if they saw me walking towards them with it in my hand. I remember one particular person JR. I showed it too and he seemed quite interested and he flicked through the pages, I will admit I was not happy at him doing it as he was going a bit rough on it, yes! That’s how bad I got. Suddenly his eyes lit up and he said “wow! My sister has been there, Pre –bok” I thought, ‘Pre – Bok’, there’s no ‘Pre-bok’ in this brochure, as I knew every page and every word of every page, so I took it off him, “where the fuck, does it say Pre-bok?” I asked, “There” he pointed at a line, I read it and re-read it and read it again, “you stupid sod, it says Pre – book”, at that and reading it again himself we both pissed ourselves laughing.

As the weeks and months passed I gradually weaned myself off the brochure and started to buy holiday clothes and other little bits I would need for the holiday. I read books about Thailand and all the things to do and not to do, all about the known scams and culture of Thailand. On a very serious note, this is something I would truly recommend to any foreign traveler, no matter where they are going in the world, find out as much as you can, because believe me and I will show you in this book, it is so easy to get scammed and basically make yourself look bloody stupid in the country your visiting. Eventually the day came, for me to set off for terminal 1 at Heathrow airport and begin my journey and as you may have noticed, yes! I was going alone.

Ten years before I had planned a trip to America with a friend of mine, but at the very last minute he pulled out and I was stuck and had to go alone. The plan was to spend 3 weeks travelling around the states, anyway I got to New York and went to my hotel and from that day it all went downhill. I got into an argument with a fireman who wanted $25 from me for taking a picture of one of those very long fire engines, back in 1990 $25 was outrageous to ask for, so I told him to fuck off, the very same day I got locked in a McDonalds restaurant, because there was a shooting outside, not though anyone heard it or saw anything and to cap it off when I got back to the hotel, someone had stolen $1500 from the safe in my room and the hotel management was not interested in helping. I did all the usual tourist visits, Rockefeller building and the Empire State building twice, now for someone who suffers from vertigo, I thought I had been quite brave. But I hated it, I hated America, I hated New York and after 4 days I decided to return to the UK. The last thing that really turned the hate screw was when I decided to buy a Hamburger at the airport and they refused to sell me a burger without cheese, (I hate cheese as well), even though they had to physically put the cheese on by hand, they refused not to put cheese on, even after I spoke with the manager and explained I could not eat cheese and would pay extra not to have cheese, he just said “it can’t be done”. Oh yes, one last surprise my flight got delayed for 15 hours.

Anyway, now there I was sitting in departures waiting for my flight for Bangkok to board and there I was shitting my pants and talking to myself, why are you going? Why are you going alone? Are you stupid? I really did not want to go to Thailand and I was ready to do a runner and not board the plane, but it was too late, I knew it was too late, what could I do? I was fucked, and then the call came. I got up and started to queue, while I was in the queue all I kept hearing was American accents, hundreds of them and I thought ‘No please, I don’t want travel 12 hours in a plane surrounded by Americans’. I gave my boarding pass to the air hostess and she said “excuse me sir, this is the gate for San Francisco, your gate is over there”, I could have kissed her, married her, there and then on the spot, it was music to my ears, so embarrassed I apologized and sat back down and once again slipped into my own world of fear and despair. The flight to Bangkok was uneventful, long, but uneventful and I actually slept most of the way.

Now, if you have never been to Bangkok, here is another word of advice. Don’t wear winter clothing, it was August and cold in the UK when I left and when I arrived it was still August but very, very hot. The heat and the humidity hit you smack in the face as soon as you step off the plane, the only comparison I can think of is, a boxer being hit by Mike Tyson at his prime, the heat almost knocks you off your feet and wearing thick jeans and a thick wooly sweater doesn’t help the matter either. I tell you I must have left a snail trail of sweat all the way to immigration. Also, being a smoker and having gone 12 hours without a cigarette, I was quite desperate to have a ciggie, so I went to find the nearest ‘smoking room’, eventually I found one which was inhabited by 25 other smokers chain smoking and filling their lungs with nicotine, believe me although this was a glass plated room, you could not see inside from the outside or outside from the inside, there was that much smoke and with all smoking rooms, the air-conditioning or extraction fans didn’t work. I could have quite easily walked in one door and through the room out of the other without stopping and had my fill of the 12 hours of cigarettes I had missed out on. From that day to this, I rarely use them or I try and seek out ones that have very few people in them.

If you have ever been to immigration in Thailand, you will know that it’s not the quickest of places to pass through, in fact other than Sri Lanka and Mumbai, it’s one of the slowest I know. Don Mueng Airport, Bangkok was to hold me up quite a few times and make me almost miss many connecting flights, but I don’t know why and have never known why, but the first time I ever touched down in Thailand, I had this over whelming feeling I had come home, a feeling that no other country had ever given me and to this day, no other country ever has.

For legal reasons some of the names have been changed, to protect them from their girlfriends, wives and embarrassment.

All which has been written is true, though some would deny it. In hindsight I am not 100% proud of some of the things I did and would like to apologies now to those I hurt. My only excuse is I was going through a transitional period in my life, which took many paths and events to bring me to where I am today. Many people helped me see the error of my ways and many people helped me commit the bad things I did. No-one is perfect and although that is no excuse to treat people in a bad way, I believe that I had to pass through all these events to make me understand and realise that a Leopard can change his spots and become a better person. So I would like to say thank you to all those who helped.

August 2000 Thailand

August 2000 Thailand

After eventually passing through immigration and collecting my bags I walked into the main terminal and instantly fell in love. I was met by my guide Fiona, a small beautiful and petit Thai woman of about 30 years old. She greeted me with the traditional Thai smile and then proceeded to complain that I was late and she had a very busy day. As I looked around I fell in love a thousand more times at virtually every Thai woman I saw, their long black hair, olive skin, dark eyes, perfect legs and cute little bums, from that day to this and despite that I am married to the most amazing woman in the world, I still fall in love.

My first destination was the Amari Atrium Hotel in Bangkok; Fiona constantly talked all the time during the drive, telling me about the traffic, which was bad, the agenda while I was in Bangkok and not to be late again. The Amari was an amazing hotel, I had never stayed in a place like it before, high ceilings, clean, friendly and again the female staffs were beautiful. Fiona told me to rest for the day and she would pick me up at 07:00am the next morning. I gave her a 500 Baht tip, which was a big amount even by today’s standards (I didn’t know, that 50 baht would have been enough) and bid her farewell, I was shown to my room and again was knocked back by amazement. The bed could have slept a family of 6 very easily and the bathroom could have housed another big family very comfortably. The view looked over Bangkok and a small canal ran passed, which I watched the boats going past at breakneck speed. I was knackered and wanted to sleep so I literally passed out and slept for 8 hours solid. As I have said before I was not bravest of people in a foreign country on my own, so I decided to hibernate and not venture out, even to the hotel restaurant, so I ate all the free biscuits and drank all the free coffee and tea and watched T.V. I sat and watched countless boats on the canal and sat talking to myself, about why I was doing this and why the fuck I had come here.

The following morning I woke up at 05:00am and got ready, drank the last of the free coffee then ventured downstairs at 07:00am. In Thailand there is something called “Thai time”, which basically means, if I Thai person says they will meet you at 07:00am which was Fiona’s case they will turn up anything between 30 minutes to an hour late and think nothing of it, many times in the future I would be sitting in a restaurant with some friends or family waiting for other Thai friends to arrive and 45 minutes later they would turn up and sit down, without an apology or care in the world, on many occasions we had finished our meal and people would come and order theirs, but it’s all part of the culture and like many things it took me a long time to adapt too. Our first trip was to a snake farm and floating market so we picked up another foreign tourist and headed for the wharf. We had a Thai breakfast of rice, fried egg and some sort of sausage, which did not worry me as I was starving and then boarded a boat. We were greeted on the boat by a Thai Elvis; he had the quaff, sideburns, a bright orange flowered shirt, red trousers and a medallion that some hip hop stars would be proud of. He told us that he loved Elvis and could sing just like him and not to breathe in the water spray as it would make you sick, then we set off and he started singing above the loud noise of the boats engine. Now, this was the first time I had ever heard a foreigner singing English language songs and it gave me an instant dislike to any form of Thai Karaoke, my ears bled, my head went into shut down and I moved as close to the engine as I could just to drown out the noise of him singing.

This first trip would be the start of the journey of change I would take and this day would be the first day I experienced shock, not of what I saw really but the shock of my and millions of other’s like me in the world. We first went to a snake farm and saw different kinds of dangerous snakes, King Cobras, Kraits, Pythons etc. and we saw alligators and an assortment of different reptiles , nothing of interest, except I could not take my eyes off Fiona’s bum, it was peach like and firm, small and lovely. Then we set off to a floating market, on the way we passed some very well to do and rich houses, then what seemed an instant we passed what can only be described as “tin shacks” which were held together by rusted old nails and seemed that a strong fart would blow them into the water. As we passed one of these a young boy of no more than 4 years old and dressed in complete rags ran out of his shack and started jumping up and down, waving, laughing, calling out “Farang, Farang” (foreigner). This is when it first hit me, this kid had nothing, he lived in what we westerners would call a ‘shit hole’, and he and his family were poor as shit and yet he was as happy as anyone I had ever seen. I can remember thinking, there are people who have a thousand times better life than this little boy and complain if they don’t have the money to buy a £100 pair of sports shoes or the latest gadget. This kid would be knocked out if someone gave him 100 Thai Baht which in them days was about £1.25. All day I could not put his image out of my mind and I still think about him today, some 14-15 years on. We stopped for lunch and I asked Fiona if it would be possible to go and see a Live and real Muay Thai boxing match, she said she would arrange it for that night, she asked me to pay a 1,500 baht and she would get me ring side tickets. After lunch we headed back to the wharf from which we had first departed and headed by mini bus to the Jewel center in central Bangkok. I eventually arrived back at the Amari at 2pm, Fiona said she would pick me up at 5:00pm so I decided to take a bravery pill and head out on my own. First rule when ordering a taxi is only get in metered taxis, these are registered and traceable if anything does go wrong, second rule if you are looking for a taxi, get the hotel to book it for you, chances are the taxi driver will be a friend of the porter and pay him a small commission for every fare he gets, so he is not going to scam the passenger and the porter will be shit scared of losing his job. There are unmarked taxis that will take you 1km down the road via every jewel store or restaurant trying to part you with your money or actually robbing you. Third rule: learn a little Thai before you go on holiday to Thailand and never tell a taxi driver that it’s your first time in Thailand, saying just a few words in Thai will put the taxi driver on alert. These pieces of advice do not just apply to Thailand but any country you may be visiting. I went to the World Trade Center in Bangkok had a walk around and ended up in the ‘Hard Rock Café’ for a burger and chips (fries) then headed back to the Amari, I showered, changed and waited for Fiona and in time honored tradition she arrived 30 minutes late, she had a small bag with her and asked if she could leave it I my room, which I said yes and thought nothing about it. We arrived at Lumphini Stadium just as the National Anthem played; thousands of people just stood still and sang the anthem, then went about their business as soon as it was finished. The King of Thailand is held in the highest regard, he is like a demi-god and he is loved by all Thai people. All foreigners must remember, never say anything in public or to any Thai person that disrespects any member of the royal family, never do anything that disrespects the royal family, the penalties for doing so are very harsh. Inside the stadium we had ring side seats and at the time in the UK I was training in Taekwondo and had a real interest in martial arts, but this was like nothing I had seen before, it was brutal, blood everywhere, but if the fighters went down, despite what sort of state they were in or how much they were bleeding, they got back up again and carried on. Believe me, Thai men might look small and scrawny but I would never pick a fight with one. The one thing that really got my interest was the gambling, which is illegal in Thailand, you would see one man with a little notebook, waving his hands to someone 50 feet away from him who would wave back and he would note something down, no money ever seemed to change hands. I asked Fiona and she said at the end of the night they meet somewhere outside and all bets are settled. We arrived back at the Amari about 9:30pm and I asked Fiona if she wanted dinner, she said yes, so we went to one of the hotel restaurants, I asked her where she lived and she said about 2 hours from here and 3 different buses, I asked her if she wanted to stay at the hotel tonight as she had said we had to set off at 6am the next morning, being a gentleman I said I would get her a room, but she asked if she could stay with me and like a gentleman, how could I refuse.