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"If we do what we have never done before, then we have nothing to lose that we already know." In a world characterized by logic and rationality, there is an unfathomable dimension of human experience that eludes our analysis. "We do not understand with the mind" is a poetic journey through the complexity of life's feelings and sensations. Poetry expresses through words what lies hidden deep within us. In this book, the limits of language are challenged and an attempt is made to verbalize the incomprehensible. It invites us to lose ourselves in the depths of our own ocean, to find ourselves between identification and detachment and reminds us that true knowledge often lies beyond the mind.
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Seitenzahl: 66
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
Introduction
Human life is an expression of the present moment. We often do not see it through the lens of this value. We imagine the future while filling the present with hope that our vision will become reality. Meanwhile, we endure everything that comes our way instead of questioning whether it is really necessary.
Living through unpleasant or situations in which I feel powerless inspire me and my writing. Anger is a primary emotion that inspires me to create, from which wonderful flowers grow. The destruction inherent in anger brings a vulnerable expression to art. It brings life and death together, from chaos to order and vice versa. Through it I experience again and again how quickly this precious life can pass. Time seems even more fleeting when it is counted and waited for, while it is filled with that which slackens the mind.
In my attempt to put feelings and sensations into words, I allow an irritating game of the mind to merge with the emotional world. I believe we humans do not really understand with our minds what we should understand that which goes deeper than logical equations and absolute constructs of belief.
As Einstein proclaimed, I also follow: To really understand, you have to experience. This book is not a romantic story or an exciting thriller. I invite you to feel the lines and draw your own conclusions from them. Neither to believe what it says nor to try to rationally define. They are not empirically tested "truths" or postulated "realities". It is poetry, it is lyricism, it is words and emotions; it is what you feel it is.
The roots lie in incomprehension. Inspired by my spiritual-human journey, through logic, into dualistic-esoteric spheres, to philosophy, into movement, immersed in concepts and religions, economics and money. My gender existence and the question of why we have to categorize and evaluate everything.
Whatever crosses my path - people, animals, plants, events - moves me forward through observation and patience. Sometimes backwards and only then further. Absolutely everything brings with it mysteries, insights and experiences.
This book is meant to be just that: an immersion into my personal journey, which through your reading is also part of yours. An emotional life that is not so different from everyone else's. Even if we are on different paths, in different latitudes or with different views, our perceptions and feelings overlap.
I hope that this book and the poetry it contains will be questioned, just like everything else in the world (including idols and resonating ideologies). That people can recognize their own reality and create personal truths from it that they experience and internalize themselves.
While indulging, the contradictions of one's own human existence should be accepted and form part of a constant transformation in order to better and better accept the world as it is with all the objects and subjects that exist in it. A new attitude can emerge, contrary to the eternal victim role that we take on towards our mind, while peace and serenity are felt inside and thus also recognized outside.
What I want most of all is for each person to recognize their incredible and necessary capacities for this world, beyond the intellectual boundaries, and to dare to live out their full potential and follow their own intuition, against all internally and externally perceived objections and expectations.
You are madness with all that you have, are and want, and also with all that you don't have, aren't and don't want, against all odds.
Attempts of understanding
1
A conversation
Discomfort arises
We talk, but
It does not feel present
I speak,
From the version of an expired self
A version that I knew with you, but
No longer exists today
I say, decide, do not act, out of
My current conviction, I
Do it from a past one
Discomfort
Part of the moment
This too will pass, and
I go home with a lukewarm nausea
Despicable reality overcomes me
I fit in, below, above
But I do not feel
I am in a skin that no longer belongs to me
At the same time, I try to dissolve
Without success
We say goodbye, I
With the feeling of being exploited and empty
I want to leave myself,
Or do I already have that?
2
I spent a lifetime looking for your confirmation,
Strive to satisfy your needs,
Disregarded mine and me
Never felt good enough, even worthless
Had a heaviness in my chest, an anger in my throat
It was a stagnant river between large stones, expectations and hopes
You lived off my self-loathing,
The mutilation that I carried out in my psyche,
Until I became aware of my existence,
Counteracting the pressure of my suffering
The discovery of my limits, articulated them
For me, verbalized outwardly
It hurt, it raged, it healed, it liberated
Boundaries
Today you are no longer a part of my physical life and
Always will be
I forgive you in order to live with myself and love again
The anger has subsided, calm has returned
3
A clarifying conversation
Two new paths
Freedom and tranquility return, as on the inside so on the outside
As in your mind, so in mine
Mixed feelings come to an end
Love arose, faltered and is now flowing again
Both on their own way, separated, in freedom
4
Which means relief for some,
Makes it difficult for others
One point in time, a hundred imaginary scenarios
Conversations, time flies
A message
The reception is safe, the arrival unclear
Presented interpretations prove to be true
The reaction to this is inexplicably different
Shocked, composed, sad, angry
One family, four faces, different worlds, different views
5
A few lines
Quick and easy
No time to lose
Because there is no more time
Everything is over
Our past plays out in my head
Our presence makes me grieve
Our future is buried under a thick layer of earth
Nothing is as it was before
A memory remains, but for how long?
Fear of forgetting you
No longer to need you
No longer to love you
No longer to experience you
The lines are heard
Not by you, but by someone
6
A limitation to human communication in words,
An assumption to understand everything that is said
To consciously overlook one's own ignorance of not knowing, to let it grow
The purest form of hypocrisy and contradiction to live out and condemn at the same time
Questioning unconditionality instead of own values
Reject what seems enigmatic
Closing yourself off to your own potential
7
As a child, you are shaped and taught. This will happen regardless of your age and awareness. This will continue until you choose to take responsibility for the fact that you are also a living human being. Not in a rhetorical way.
It always seems easier to look for deception on the outside, to be guided or patronized. But isn't the renunciation of what is actually wanted greater?
You are not a child all your life. At some point, you grow up physically and develop emotionally and psychologically. And sometimes this gets lost in a parent-child relationship. You remain just a child or just a parent.
We are all human beings, whether children or parents or both.
As long as this is not conscious and we only ever fill one role, a healthy interpersonal relationship can never develop. What remains is dependency, unfulfilled expectations, and unexpressed feelings.
Pure repetitions of past events and patterns.
8
You scream for me
Expectations describe the moment
I don't agree with your idea
You, not with mine
We are talking past each other
Not in the same direction
Our answers complement each other, but do not sound
There are many things that could happen now
But neither of us will allow it
Communication between two egos follows
No humanity interferes in a battle of being right