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- Herausgeber: Solart Books
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
We live in the immense ocean of life. Our problems are like stormy waves capable of drowning us but there are "self-help" remedies to not get overwhelmed.
Understanding your emotions, knowing how to manage them, developing greater self-awareness and improving leadership are just some of the things that will make you good "captains" to be able to steer the sea.
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
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Joseph V. McCaughey
You can drive the waves
How not to get overwhelmed by the stormy waves of life
Title: You can drive the waves
Author: Joseph V. McCaughey
Publisher: Solart Books
© Copyright 2023 - All rights reserved.
The content in this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without the direct written permission of the author or publisher. In no event shall the publisher, or the author, be liable or liable for any damages, reparations or pecuniary losses arising out of the information contained in this book, directly or indirectly.
Legal notice : This book is protected by copyright. It is for personal use only. You may not modify, distribute, sell, use, quote or paraphrase any part or the contents of this book without the consent of the author or publisher.
Disclaimer Notice : Please note that the information contained herein is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Every effort has been made to present information that is accurate, current, reliable and complete. No warranties of any kind are expressed or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author is not engaged in the provision of legal, financial, medical or professional advice. The contents of this book have been derived from various sources. Please consult a licensed professional before attempting any technique described in this book.
By reading this book, the reader agrees that in no event shall the author be liable for any losses, direct or indirect, suffered as a result of use of the information contained in this document, including, but not limited to, errors, omissions, or inaccuracies.
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Table of contents
Preface
Stormy waves belong to the sea
Sailing during the storm
The importance of multitasking to lead the crew
When sailing you have to manage every emotion perfectly
Sea waves have different sizes and different strengths
You can drive the waves
Conclusion
Bibliography
Preface
November 17, 2012
Experienced Mexican fisherman José Salvador Alvarenga goes out on a fishing trip off the Costa Azul. After a few miles from the coast, he switched off the engine to indulge in a few amusing phrases with his travel companion and friend Ezequiel Córdoba, after which the two men set sail off the coast. With hundreds of miles of experience José never thought he'd be faced with an experience like this: 483 days away from home. The sky begins to darken. The first drops of rain fall. Ready at any moment to go back and sure of his skills, José continues on his journey knowing that on his return he will allow his family to continue eating a good meal that he has caught.
The rain begins to get heavier and the waves begin to rise and gradually courage begins to give way to fear but José remembers that at home there is a family waiting for him. So he reassembles his ideas and reactivates his spirit of survival. He tries to align the hull but the engine fails and he finds himself at sea for more than a year, eating raw birds and using old plastic containers to collect rainwater. Unfortunately, Ezequiel's fate was quite different. Exhausted and exhausted, he decides to let himself die. The ocean became his grave.
José survived by being adrift in Micronesia. On February 3, 2014 José arrives in Majuro, capital of the Marshall Islands, with a disheveled beard, swollen ankles and long hair. His psychological state was so low that he could not maintain eye contact with people, but the most important thing was that José was still alive. He had not been overwhelmed by the stormy waves for 483 days [1].
José's was a truly extraordinary case of how a person can manage to enter such a state of mind that allows him to survive. All of us today, albeit in different ways, live experiences like José's but in the "ocean of life". Every day we face waves that can sink us. But you have to learn to ride those waves. José knew the sea. And he knew his way around on his fishing trips. But how can even the most expert of sailors be able to understand where he is when he is in the middle of a storm? It's impossible and, as in José's case, psychology comes into play, or rather, the set of those complex mental processes that help us make quick decisions while maintaining a certain degree of rationality. In this book we will see just how to do this. We will examine some situations in which "the sea of life" on which we sail could become so choppy as to kill us but it will be possible to do something that is concretely impossible but abstractly is: steer the sea.
Stormy waves belong to the sea
Fear, anxiety and panic attacks are like stormy waves
Ashwin Fernandes, regional director for Quacquarelli Symonds World University Rankings, has flown hundreds of flights in his life but something happened in 2013 that left him terrified. It was the monsoon season, winds that are generated by the difference in temperature between oceans and continents, and due to a very violent turbulence, the plane in which Ashwin Fernandes was travelling, rapidly dropped in altitude. That time seemed endless to him.
Was there a possibility that climate change could make air travel riskier? He wondered. This question is answered by what Paul D. Williams, professor of atmospheric sciences at the University of Reading, said, who is the co-developer of a turbulence prediction algorithm that allows air travel to be made more comfortable by avoiding those areas where it is possible to encounter more turbulence and also more environmentally friendly by reducing carbon dioxide emissions. However, we want to point out that the type of turbulence where passengers defy the laws of gravity by jumping off the seats of the plane are very rare. Some propose to prepare in advance for turbulence by monitoring weather reports and checking the latest phone apps for flight conditions. Both Mr. Fernandes and other intellectuals believe this will help keep the element of surprise at bay, but Dr. Martin Seif disagrees. "All that stuff reinforces anxiety and puts emphasis on avoiding turbulence," she cautions. “The best thing you can do is : nothing! [1] But according to YouGov, [2] flying, open spaces and the ocean are not among the top three fears of Americans, but others. We list them in descending order, snakes, heights and spiders. More people are afraid of public speaking than of large bodies of water. We can therefore identify a first stormy wave: fear.
Fear is an emotion that induces man to react to danger through certain instinctive mechanisms. Fear can be caused by many different factors, such as sudden noises, heights, failures, and more. Humans have an innate sense of fear that helps them stay safe in dangerous situations. Many people have difficulty recognizing fear and dealing with it when it arises. Understanding fear is essential to overcome it and become more confident in dangerous situations.
Humans have an innate sense of fear that helps them stay safe in risky situations. Fear is a reaction to a potential danger or threat. An instinctive mechanism known as the sympathetic nervous system kicks in when our brain perceives a potential external (or internal) element that could harm it. The adrenal glands secrete epinephrine, which increases heart rate and blood pressure, so we have better bodily responses to perceived danger or threat. After a while, the body learns to deal with the increased blood pressure and increased heart rate due to the effects of epinephrine on the body. In ancient times, when faced with fear, people sought help from spiritual sources. Greek playwrights, such as Euripides, used supernatural characters such as Thanatos to convey emotional experiences of primal fears such as panic and dread. While 20th century, Freud introduced the idea of the repression of primal instincts as well as the realm of dreams to explore emotional triggers through the mind's eye.
Today, however, modern psychology uses scientific methods to study human minds and how they respond to stimuli. This allows humanity a greater understanding of how they - and their emotions - work towards achieving or away from achieving their goals. Many people find it difficult to understand what they are afraid of. A common example is the horror movie buff who loves to watch these movies but is terrified of them. He may even avoid watching certain scenes in a movie altogether but he can't because he likes to experience that feeling. Fans of horror novels may also be afraid of the dark and this can lead to limiting their reading habits. People with severe anxiety disorders may be fearful of objects they use on a daily basis, such as chairs or light switches, and avoid them at all costs. In some cases, the fear is based in reality, but the person's perception of the threat can lead to dangerous behavior. Although fear is adaptive if managed correctly, it can become excessive if triggered inappropriately. Many people fear death, but refusing to face and overcome this fear can lead to extreme panic in the long run. Fear of failure can also lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as giving up or avoiding a certain type of activity altogether. People with phobias often irrationally fear that they might lose control. This leads them to restrict or deny themselves access to necessary things in life.
According to Freud's drive libido theory, human beings possess an innate sense of fear that helps them stay safe in dangerous situations, as outlined above. Facing fears head-on can help overcome them; however, avoiding them altogether leads to even greater emotional complications. This means that humans are inherently limitless in their ability to simultaneously pursue fear and avoid it. Fear is an emotion that induces man to react to danger with instinctive mechanisms. Humans have an innate sense of fear that helps them stay safe in dangerous situations, no matter what situation they find themselves in. Many people have difficulty recognizing fear and dealing with it when it occurs. Understanding fear is essential to overcome it and become more confident in dangerous situations.
Many will label fear as a horrible feeling because it arouses certain immobilizing mechanisms but in reality fear, understood as an emotion, is fundamental to survival on a psychological level. This is because it has two possible reactions: fight or flight. These two reactions are not connected to the situation we are experiencing but to certain physiological mechanisms that occur in our body: increase in the amount of oxygen transported to the muscles, increase in heart rate, breathing becomes labored, the immune system slows down and body sweating increases as opposed to a dry mouth.
When the frightened person reacts by attacking it is because an involuntary state of strength and ability and awareness in facing and defeating the threat is triggered in his mind. The sympathetic nervous system secretes adrenaline, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands, which is able to enhance muscle and heart rate. During the attack the heart will pump more towards the limbs. This same process occurs even if the reaction is flight. We have all experienced this stormy wave. For example, it will often have happened to have felt a shiver of fear when, while we were driving our car, we were about to collide with the person in front of us, the same applies if we risked being the victim of a collision. Or, once we got out of the car, perhaps to cross that super busy intersection in the center, we risked being hit by a driver or a motorcyclist. In both of these moments fear didn't paralyze us but it saved us or allowed us to save others by pressing on the brake.
However, the reader could dwell on the words written above, namely that fear does not paralyze. We reiterate, fear itself does not paralyze but there are times when blocking seems to be the only valid option. This is the freezing effect.
This effect occurs when we are unable to deal with the threat. Although our reactions are extremely quick, sometimes the situation can happen so fast that we are unable to think and adjust. Unlike animals, man can develop such a paralyzing effect that it is not limited only to such a physical blockage but also to a cerebral stasis, unable to be rational so as to analyze the situation. And so the threat succumbs, overwhelming the individual like a wave. This takes place in a very common situation in which a passer-by crosses the road and a car at full speed risks running over him.
Most humans in this scenario become paralyzed. According to the psychologist John Leach, professor at the University of Portsmouth, about 75% of people who find themselves experiencing an emergency situation are paralyzed and unable to work out an escape plan. Of the remaining 25%, only 15% maintain a good decision-making capacity to face a threat. 10% succumb to panic increasing the risk of causing harm to themselves and others. Which side are you on? I invite you to answer these questions by writing the answer:
When was a moment when you gave in to your fears or doubts?
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What could you have done to find the strength to be able to overcome them?
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Have your fears ever stopped you from doing something you wanted to do as something important?
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How did you feel about turning down that opportunity?
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How could you act differently next time since you now know how fear arises?
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This is a great exercise for listening to your fears and facing them. Writing is the most adopted therapeutic problem solving method in cases where you simply need to put some order in your thoughts. But we need two qualities that we will discuss later: perseverance and resilience. Over time and by learning to manage this feeling, you will be able to ride the waves of the sea, transform the storm into tranquility.
But sometimes fear is confused with another feeling: anxiety, another stormy wave that we will try to appease. Fear is an innate human instinct. It is a natural response to danger or the threat of death. However, fear can be overcome through preparation and self-confidence.
When facing fear, it is essential to have a strong sense of self-awareness. You must have confidence in your abilities when facing fear. This includes believing that you can overcome your fears and preparing yourself to do so. People who believe in themselves and prepare to face fear will overcome their fears and be successful. Failing a task that you fear you will succeed shows that your character is strong. It also shows that you are a careful and cautious person. Seeing this, others will respect you more for it. This aptitude makes you a more effective member of society at large. Having a strong self-image allows you to overcome your fears and become a better person in every way. Knowing that others have successfully overcome their fears motivates you to do the same. This is because seeing others overcome their fears motivates you to do the same. You can also use it as motivation to prepare yourself for what scares you the most. Knowing that others have successfully overcome their fears, you can feel more confident in the face of your own. Do not follow the example of those who lack rationality and foresight. By imitating these attitudes, you lead others to view you as an irresponsible person who lacks self-discipline.
These people are unable to accomplish anything serious, making themselves ideal opponents in games or work but mortal enemies in more serious situations. Therefore, fear should always be overcome through foresight and planning; if you act when danger strikes instead of before, you'll be late, you'll fail, and you'll end up looking foolish instead of heroic. No matter how well prepared one is, fear will always remain present in the face of danger or the threat of death. However, fear can be overcome through preparation, confidence in one's abilities, and knowing that others have successfully overcome it as well. Anyone can become “a daredevil” if they put in the effort to overcome their fears, no matter how long it takes them to do so. What can sometimes generate fear is anxiety. Anxiety is a mental and emotional state characterized by feelings of tension, apprehension, and unease. It's a normal reaction to certain situations, but some people experience acute anxiety. Disorders such as panic attacks (which we will discuss later) or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are linked to anxiety. Also, suffering from chronic anxiety can lead to various health problems. We could therefore define anxiety as the inability to manage certain future situations since we are not aware of them. Anxiety is a normal response to danger or uncertainty.
When we feel anxious, our body reacts by producing adrenaline. Heart rate increases as does blood pressure and muscles tense. We may also feel a sense of dread or confusion. However, people suffering from anxiety disorders have a hyper-reactive fight-or-flight response. Their anxiety is so severe that it affects their daily life. If you suffer from anxiety, you need to address the root cause of your condition before you can get relief.
Many experts believe that an anxious state of mind can harm the human brain and body. Unmanaged anxiety can worsen the state of those suffering from various health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, intestinal disorders and weight gain. Additionally, people with chronic anxiety often have trouble getting a good night's sleep. This is due to the fact that their anxiety causes them great stress and physical discomfort. There are many ways to treat anxiety; some include exercise, stress management techniques, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that has been practiced for over 40 years. CBT stands for cognition, behaviors and thoughts and focuses on the mental and behavioral aspects of the person in order to be able to solve all the problems present in him. People suffering from mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression and addictions can find relief through CBT. Patients learn to recognize and change their irrational thoughts and behaviors using a combination of therapy sessions and even, why not, self-help books like this one.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is used to treat mental disorders by focusing on the patient's emotions and thoughts. Cognitive behavioral therapy activities take place within a psychiatric center and include training tailored to the patient's needs. Furthermore, the training takes place in a Learning Center area of a psychiatric clinic, where patients have the opportunity to understand how to overcome their difficulties through personalized therapy. The four basic principles of cognitive behavioral therapy help patients change their problems and discomforts starting from thinking. The first three principles are: 1) correct thinking, 2) change actions and 3) change emotions. Correcting thinking means understanding the things that hurt the patient and transforming them in a positive way. For example, if the patient has a thought such as "I am unable to touch that tassel [3]", it is best to correct this limiting visualization as "I am able to touch it".
