A Family's Guide to the Military For Dummies E-Book

Sheryl Garrett

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 547

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2009

Beschreibung

Expert advice on all aspects of military life A Family's Guide to the Military For Dummies is for the millions of military dependents, family members, and friends who are looking for straightforward guidance to take advantage of the benefits and overcome the challenges unique to life in the military. This comprehensive guide covers such key topics as introducing military life to readers new to the armed forces, financial planning, relocation, deployment, raising kids alone while a partner is away, and taking advantage of the available benefits. It offers tips and advice for dealing with emotions that surround events like deployments, deciphering the acronyms used in daily military life, forming support groups, keeping track of a loved one's whereabouts, and surviving on a military base in a foreign country.

Leseprobe

A Family's Guide to the Military For Dummies®

Table of Contents

Introduction

About This Book

Conventions Used in this Book

Foolish Assumptions

How This Book is Organized

Part I: Reporting for Duty

Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits

Part III: Supporting the Military Family

Part IV: Mastering Deployments

Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Icons Used in This Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I: Reporting for Duty

Chapter 1: Living Life As a Military Family

Getting a Grasp on the Military Culture

Believing in something bigger than yourself

Making lifelong connections

Being Flexible — the Key to a Happy Military Life

Adjusting to different directions

Adapting to a changing homelife

Keeping education and employment flexible

Traveling the world . . . If you want to

Overseas assignments

Space-available travel

Speaking in Code: Learning the Military Language

Embracing the Place Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Choosing to Live on the Installation — Or Not

Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies

Separating Myths from Reality

Understanding Rank and Military Hierarchy

Checking out the different ranks

Understanding that rank does have its place

Reveling in the privileges of rank

Keeping Up with Traditions and Ceremonies

The salute

The National Anthem

The Stars and Stripes

Reveling in inter-service Rivalry

Ceremonies

Finding Your Place in the Grand Plan

Getting involved . . . or not

Making friends

Watching Your P’s and Q’s: Party Protocol

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases

Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS)

Making sense of DEERS

Registering in DEERS

Verifying and updating information

Making It Official — Getting a Military ID Card

Getting Your Rest

Shopping

Commissary

Exchanges

Shoppettes

Class 6

Eating on the Installations

The dining hall

The clubs

Having Fun with MWR

Fitness and sports center

Skills development center

Everything else

Focusing on the Family

Family support center

Child development center

Youth and teen centers

Picking Up on Personal Services

Auto hobby shop

Banking

Military treatment facility (MTF)

Getting the Support You Need

Chapel

Clubs and groups

Family Advocacy Programs

Chapter 4: Connecting with the Military Community

Connecting to the Unit

Utilizing your sponsor

Keeping contact info current

Staying in the loop

Marking military family milestones

Attending Hails and Farewells

Discovering other social activities

Making merry with holiday parties

Understanding the ins and outs of Dining In and Out

Marking Military Milestones

Promotions

Change of command

Retirement ceremonies

Finding Support within the Installation

Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits

Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation

Sifting through Sources of Pay

Basic pay

Additional pays

Allowances

Taking time off — Leave

Demystifying the pay statement

Explaining the LES

Allotments

Making Sense Out of Taxes

Understanding what compensation is taxable

Exploring ways to reduce your tax bite

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance

Exploring TRICARE

Breaking down the basic of TRICARE

TRICARE Standard

TRICARE Extra

TRICARE Prime

Prescription drug coverage

Summarizing healthcare options

Enrolling in TRICARE

Sizing up TRICARE Health Benefits for the Guard and Reserve

Checking the basics of your options

TRICARE Reserve Select

Understanding Dental Benefits

Explaining Your Benefits

Chapter 7: Maximizing Military Benefits

Tapping into the Family Support Center

Accessing Military OneSource

Traveling Space-A

Looking into Lodging Bargains

Protecting Your Rights — Legal Issues

Getting the lowdown on the law

Finding legal assistance

Reviewing Your Military-Provided Life Insurance

Servicemembers’ group life insurance

Traumatic SGLI

Family service group life insurance

Exploring Your Retirement Benefits

Finding out how retirement benefits are calculated

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot

Determining Your Required Monthly Expenses

Making it automatic

Establishing Emergency Reserves

Recognizing the reality of not having reserves

Reserving funds for financial emergencies

Building and Maintaining a Solid Credit History

Obtaining Appropriate Insurance Coverage

Servicemember’s life insurance

Family member’s life insurance

Spousal disability insurance

Homeowner’s or renter’s insurance

Automobile insurance

Beginning Investing

Investing according to your purpose

Leveraging time

Getting started

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation

Accumulating What You’ll Need for Specific Goals

Purchasing a Home

Determining how much you can spend on a house

Reviewing mortgages

Coming up with your down payment

Planning for Children’s College Costs

Securing Your Retirement

Preparing for the Inevitable

Answering key questions to get started

Communicating your wishes through legal documents

Accounting for ownership and beneficiary designations

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family

Understanding the Basic Allowance for Housing

Basic allowance for housing — CONUS

Overseas housing allowance

Considering On-Base Housing

Exploring Off-Base Housing

Leasing

Buying

Tax benefits

Major considerations

Buying versus renting

Rehabbing a property

Becoming an absentee landlord

Evaluating your financing options

Relocating

Assessing relocation assistance

Establishing community at your new location

Keeping in touch as you move around in the military

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities

Professional Military Education

Finding Educational Funding

Montgomery GI Bill

Post-9/11 GI Bill

Tuition Assistance

Scholarships and financial aid

Continuing Education for Spouses

Developing a plan that works

Tuition assistance programs

Finding Employment Opportunities for Military Spouses

Getting ready to work

Cost-benefit analysis of working outside the home

Strategic volunteering

Employment support

Department of Defense and Department of Labor Initiatives

Self-employment

Military spouse preference program

Putting it all together

State initiatives to support military families

Part III: Supporting the Military Family

Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military

Finding Childcare

Occasional or part-time care

Comparing on-base vs. off-base options

Educating the Kids

Making smart decisions

Department of Defense schools

Leaving the nest

Moving Around

Focusing on the positive

Joining in sports and recreational activities

Making sure that your kid’s best friend comes along

Staying in touch

Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples

Communicating Effectively

Dealing with your long-distance relationship

Managing expectations

Respecting one another

Unplugging

Accessing Help to Make Your Marriage Healthier

Divorcing

Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support

Starting at Square One

Getting Support for the Guard and Reserve

Finding Support at the State Level

Supporting Military Families

The United Service Organizations (USO)

Fisher House Foundation

Growing Grassroots Military Support

Checking out grassroots efforts

Getting to know America Supports You

Searching the Web for Support

Connecting through online communities

Burning up the airwaves

Tapping into The Military Coalition (TMC)

Discovering what TMC is all about

Figuring out how you fit in

Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or Death of a Family Member

Dealing with Disability

Traumatic brain injuries

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Medical review boards

Medical retirement

Veterans Administration benefits

Other disability resources

Surviving the Death of a Servicemember

Giving and receiving friendly support

Working with the Casualty Assistance Officer

Filing for benefits

Understanding your military benefits

Moving on

Support groups

Planning ahead

Part IV: Mastering Deployments

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments

Separating the Truths from the Myths

Preparing for Deployment

Powers of attorney

Financial planning

Taking Advantage of Special Deployment Benefits

Getting direct deposit

Saving in the best plan available

Receiving tax-free combat pay and benefits

Ensuring reemployment: USERRA

Understanding the Emotional Cycles of Deployment

Preparing for them to go

Creating walls before they leave

Establishing your new normal

Getting settled

Anticipating their return

Coming back together as a family

Finding your family groove again

Smoothing out the rough spots

Managing Stress

Chapter 17: Accessing Traditional Family Support

Finding Support on Base

FSC — Family support center

Turning to faith-based solutions

Participating in Family Readiness Groups (FRG)

Having some fun and giving back

Getting Support Online

Looking Outside the Fishbowl

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent

Understanding the Effects of Deployment on Children

Maintaining Routine

Communicating

Encouraging open communication

Explaining difficult topics

Managing Anxiety

Staying Involved from a Distance

Letting Kids be Kids

Setting Realistic Expectations

Looping in the Caregivers and Teachers

Sharing Responsibilities

Seeing the Light at the End of the Tunnel

Getting Away

Taking some time off

Looking forward to a family vacation

Bringing Daddy Back into the Fold

Chapter 19: Keeping Connected with Your Loved One

Communicating Securely

Using the Internet

Making phone calls

Sharing a Piece of Home

Celebrating Special Occasions

Staying Connected

Managing Anxiety

Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military

Chapter 20: Separating from Service

Preparing for Separation

Transition assistance program

Getting your records in order

Relocating

Employment education and training

Health insurance

Pre-separation examinations

Life insurance

Retirement savings

Legal assistance

Clarifying Voluntary versus Involuntarily Separation from Service

Administrative separation

Punitive discharge

Considering Early Career Separation

Exploring Late Career Separation Issues

Chapter 21: Retiring from Service

Assessing the Financial Benefits of Retiring from the Military

Military retired pay

Survivor Benefit Plan

Medical Benefits

Checking out your healthcare benefits

Making the most of your military retiree benefits

Envisioning Life after the Military

Adjusting to the civilian world

Evaluating your need for additional retirement savings

Supplementing your retirement income

Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers

Transitioning from the Military

Planning for your next career

Preparing for this transition

Tapping into military and community benefits

Evaluating Employer Benefits

Medical insurance

Prescription drug coverage

Dental insurance

Vision benefits

Disability insurance — short term and long term

Long-term care insurance

Life insurance

Retirement plans

Health savings accounts

Flexible spending plans

Paid vacations and holidays

Overtime

Education assistance

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Chapter 23: Ten Best Benefits for Military Spouses

Travel

Education and Employment Assistance

Healthcare

Commissary/Exchange

Family Support Centers

Free Professional and Personal Development

Free Support and Assistance

Discounts

Recreating Yourself Every Few Years

Meeting Other Spouses

Chapter 24: Ten Biggest Financial Military Benefits

Retirement Benefits

Survivor Benefit Plan

Healthcare

Housing

Education

Travel

VA Loans

Servicemembers Group Life Insurance

Legal Assistance

Family Support Center

Chapter 25: Ten Worst Scams Against Servicemembers

Sending Money to Injured Servicemembers

Protecting Your Privacy

Repairing Your Credit

Falling for Get-Rich-Quick Schemes

Outsmarting the SBP

Paying Too Much for Financial Advice

Investing a Tax Shelter inside of a Tax Shelter

Investing in the New, New Thing

Hedging Your Risks with Gold or Oil

Considering Payday Loans

Appendix: Military Acronyms

A Family's Guide to the Military For Dummies®

by Sheryl Garrett and Sue Hoppin

Foreword By Tanya Biank

Author of Army Wives

A Family's Guide to the Military For Dummies

Published byWiley Publishing, Inc.111 River St.Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774www.wiley.com

Copyright © 2009 by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Indianapolis, Indiana

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2008936637

ISBN: 9780470444726

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

About the Author

Sheryl Garrett, CFP and founder of The Garrett Planning Network, Inc., has been dubbed “The All-American Planner,” possibly because of her zealous mission to “help make competent, objective financial advice accessible to all people.” Sheryl’s fresh approach as a financial advisor working with clients on an hourly, as-needed, fee-only basis has evolved into an international network of financial advisors, the Garrett Planning Network.

As a consumer advocate, Sheryl has been honored to work with the House Subcommittee on Financial Services regarding predatory lending regulation, financial literacy and Social Security reform. She also works as an expert witness in lawsuits against financial advisors who rendered inappropriate financial advice.

She has authored or served as a technical editor on over a dozen books and a couple of monthly magazine columns. These books include Garrett’s Guide to Financial Planning (National Underwriter), Just Give Me the Answer$ (Dearborn Trade), Money Without Matrimony (Dearborn Trade), Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies (Wiley), Investing in an Uncertain Economy For Dummies (Wiley), as well as this book, A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies (Wiley).

As vocal advocate for financial education, Sheryl has been frequently interviewed on CNNfn, Bloomberg, ABC World News Now, Fox-TV; NPR’s All Things Considered and Marketplace; and in Business Week, Newsweek, Time, Forbes, Kiplinger Personal Finance, Money, Smart Money, MarketWatch, U.S. News & World Report, the New York Times, USA Today and the Wall Street Journal. For four straight years Sheryl was recognized by Investment Advisor magazine as “One of the Top 25 Most Influential People in Financial Planning” and was honored by the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA) honored Garrett with the prestigious Robert J. Underwood Distinguished Service Award for her contributions to the development of the financial planning profession.

Sue Hoppin is passionate about quality of life issues for military families because she lives and understands the challenges of the military lifestyle. Elements of her story are shared by any number of other military spouses. She met her husband when he was attending the United States Air Force Academy and finished school while he attended undergraduate pilot training. The couple married shortly thereafter and a son followed. Their transient lifestyle, deployment schedules and other demands kept Sue at home with their son while her husband deployed around the world.

Although she holds multiple degrees, it wasn’t until recently that Sue was able to enter the work force. Before then, she served the military community as a volunteer. Her responsibilities ranged from squadron fundraiser and spouse club membership chair to the presidency of both the Kadena Officers’ Spouses’ Club and of the Ramstein Elementary School PTA. She currently serves as the 2008–2009 President of the Air Force Officers Wives Club at Bolling AFB. Sue was recognized for her volunteer efforts with awards as Volunteer of the Year at McConnell AFB (1999) and as the 76th Airlift Squadron Spouse of the Year (2002).

She joined the Benefits Information Department staff of Military Officers Association of America in 2005 and quickly established herself as an expert in military spouse issues. In 2006, Sue was selected to be MOAA’s first assistant director for spouse outreach. In 2007, Military Spouse Magazine named Sue on their 2007 Who’s Who of Military Spouses list recognizing 12 spouses who have made significant contributions in the military community for all military spouses.

A tireless advocate for improving the lives of military spouses and families, Sue is the consummate connector — bringing together government, corporate, and nonprofit organizations to meet spouses where they live and work. She is the driving force behind the annual Spouse Symposium held in Norfolk, VA that brings key legislative, spouse, community, and DoD leaders together in an interactive forum to achieve real change for military spouses.

In addition to her work at MOAA, she writes a monthly column for Military Spouse Magazine and serves as a member of the Board of Advisors for the Military Spouse and Family Legacy Association.

Sue holds a bachelor’s degree in international studies from the University of Denver and a master’s degree in international relations from the University of Oklahoma.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all of our military families. Your support and devotion are essential to the mission, and we all know too well the sacrifices you make.

Our heartfelt thanks to you and your military member for your service to our nation.

Author’s Acknowledgments

From Sheryl: Because of the love and devotion of my family, staff , and colleagues in the Garrett Planning Network, I have the freedom and support to carry out the mission of my life’s work, which involves helping to make competent, objective personal financial advice accessible to all people. But I have a special place in my heart for military families and veterans. I am honored to have been given the opportunity to do a little for those who do so much in service to our country.

This project would not have been possible without the amazing talent and devotion of my co-author, Sue Hoppin. She taught me a lot more than she meant to, I’m sure. I wouldn’t have got to know Sue without the most perfect introduction from the energizer bunny himself, Phil Dyer, CFP, RLP. This book required the talents of a lot of people. Sue and I needed one another and both of us relied on Phil as our Technical Reviewer extraordinaire. We also had great support from the folks at Wiley, specifically Mike Baker and Jennifer Connolly. Thanks for your faith in us and for recognizing the need for this book.

From Sue: Without the love and support of my husband Kevin and my son Garrett, writing this book would not have been possible. Balancing work and writing the book, I missed out on endless regattas, other school events, and any number of social activities with them. I can’t even count the number of times they had to endure frozen dinners or take-out meals, so I thank them from the bottom of my heart for being such good sports. They both really picked up the slack and encouraged me when sometimes it just seemed like too much. Between them and our amazing support system of friends and family, no one could ask for better cheerleaders.

Thanks to Phil Dyer, my colleague, friend, and mentor who introduced me to Sheryl Garrett and started us down the path of writing this book together. Thanks to Sheryl for being such a pleasure to work with and for taking a chance on me. You both had more faith in me than I sometimes had in myself.

Many thanks to Mike Baker, Jennifer Connolly and the other folks at Wiley Publishing who made this experience such a tremendous one. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to create a product to benefit military spouses and families.

There were some sections of this book that were difficult to write and wouldn’t have resonated as well without the guidance of other people. Thank you Phil for your expertise and DeDe for providing your insights.

A final thanks to my friends and fellow military spouses: Tanya Biank, Babette Maxwell, Nicole Alcorn, Krista Wells, and Robin Prior whose words of encouragement remind me daily about all that is best about the military spouse community. When we get it right, we really get it right — I cannot imagine a greater group of friends or role models.

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Introduction

Do you feel like the military lifestyle should come with its own how-to handbook full of tips and insights? Well, you’re not alone. Unless you were born into a military family, going behind the gates of a military installation for the first time can seem somewhat daunting. But, it’s not meant to be. Everything’s actually laid out to be as convenient as possible for the end user — you. If it seems like you need some guidance, then don’t despair. Maybe you just need a little guidance from someone who’s already been there and done that.

We wrote this book to help you figure out the ins and outs of military life as well as share with you financial insights that you may not always have ready access to. When you’re living on a tight budget, it may not always seem possible to save that emergency fund never mind the kids’ college fund, but you’d be missing out. Our goal is to let you know that military life is entirely compatible with financial stability.

We share some tips and information with you on concepts that will make you look at saving and investing not as nice to do things, but rather as must do. Remember that the sooner you get started, the more time you have to take advantage of compounding interest. Maximizing your military benefits and saving a little at a time will help you attain financial independence.

Along the way, you will meet other military spouses and family members who will help you along your journey. But, if we can give you a head start by sharing some information, then our time and effort was well spent.

About This Book

A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies is designed to share with you an overview of the military lifestyle. You can discover everything from the traditions of the military to community resources available to support you. You’re not likely going to read the book from cover to cover, but that’s alright. We’ve written it so that each chapter is somewhat autonomous. As you’re flipping around, you may see some references made to other chapters, but they’re well marked. If you’re approaching utilizing this book as a reference, then the index or Table of Contents will be invaluable to you. Refer to those whenever you’re looking for a specific topic.

But, if you’re really curious about the military lifestyle, then by all means, work through the book chapter by chapter. We’ve laid it out in a simplistic and intuitive manner. In the beginning chapters, we start off with a beginner’s look at the military and military infrastructure then progress on to more complex matters such as deployments and financial benefits. Use the information as you need it.

If you find that this book just whets your appetite for more knowledge, take advantage of the websites we provide and the other organizations and resources we point to throughout the book. The great thing about the military is that there is no shortage of people and resources out there to assist you on your journey. Buckle in and enjoy the ride!

Conventions Used in this Book

While writing this book, we used a few conventions throughout the pages in order to make your life just a little bit easier. Here’s what you can expect:

We use italics when we define a word or phrase that’s important to understanding a topic. And when we get especially excited, we might throw in some italics for extra emphasis.

When you see text in bold, you can expect it to be either a step in a numbered list or a key word in a bulleted list.

All Web addresses appear in monofont.

When this book was printed, some Web addresses may have needed to break across two lines of text. If that happened, know that we haven’t put in any characters (such as hyphens) to indicate a break. So, when using one of these Web addresses, just type in exactly what you see in this book or on the Cheat Sheet and ignore the line break.

Foolish Assumptions

Believe it or not, as we set out to write this book, we formed some preconceived ideas about you our dear reader. In order to provide the insights and advice you need, we have made some assumptions about you:

You’re either married to someone in the military or interested in the information presented here.

You’re curious enough to want to know the inside gouge (information) on the military lifestyle.

You have access to the Internet. Although this isn’t a requirement, access to the Internet will help you take advantage of the tips we share regarding web resources.

You’re interested in learning about your military and financial benefits so that you can get your family on the road to financial independence.

You want to know and take advantage of everything out there to help you thrive within the military community while also helping you achieve your own personal goals.

You’re no idiot! In fact, you’re so smart that you realize that in order to thrive in your military lifestyle, you need to know everything that’s out there to support you and your family.

How This Book is Organized

A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies is organized into six parts touching on different aspects of the military lifestyle. Financial tidbits are woven throughout.

Part I: Reporting for Duty

The military lifestyle can seem quite foreign to most newcomers. In these chapters, you discover more about the basics. We take you on a quick tour of a traditional military installation and learn more about the traditions that make the military so unique.

Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits

One of the greatest reasons to join the military is to enjoy the many financial and military benefits available to you and your family. Unfortunately, many people are unfamiliar with their benefits and leave a lot on the table. In this section, we discuss your basic pay and benefits as well as more complex topics such as home ownership and education. After you have a better understanding, we introduce you to other benefits available to you outside of the traditional military infrastructure.

Part III: Supporting the Military Family

Separations are a challenge to maintaining strong military families. Children need to be incredibly resilient to thrive under the transient military lifestyle. Fortunately, there are a number of systems in place to support military families. In this section, you’ll learn more about the resources out there available to support you and your family.

Part IV: Mastering Deployments

As a novice at deployments, you might look around at the more “veteran” families and think, “Wow, they really have it together.” The chapters found in this section will help you understand all the stages of deployment as well as how you can prepare more adequately.

Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military

Whether through separation or retirement, leaving the military can be potentially quite traumatic unless you understand the pay and benefits available to you. This section will help you understand your transition benefits as well as how to roll your military benefits into future employee compensation and benefits packages.

Part VI: The Part of Tens

A hallmark of the For Dummies series, the Part of Tens highlights our top ten lists for best benefits for military spouses, biggest financial military benefits, and the ten worst scams against service members.

Icons Used in This Book

As you flip through this book, you’ll see a lot of icons, which are there to draw your attention to specific issues or examples. Check them out:

This icon alerts you to common pitfalls and dangers that you must be on the lookout for when managing your personal finances or simply moving along in your military life.

If you don’t read anything else, pay attention to this icon, which points out information we just had to stress because it is that important for you to consider.

If you’re looking for some inside information or a time-saving tool you can use immediately, then the text marked by the Tip icon is what you want.

This icon gives you technical info that you don’t have to know to understand the rest of the section, but we sure think it’s interesting to read about!

Where to Go from Here

If you’re a novice to the military lifestyle, start at the beginning. However, if you’re at a different stage of life, go ahead and turn directly to that section of the book. You’ll see parts dealing with everything from deployments, supporting military children to transitioning out of the military. You’ll be able to find anything you’re looking for quite easily by referring to the index or table of contents.

Remember: Don’t worry about reading this book from cover to cover (unless you want to!). Use the bits and pieces as you need them. Every experience is different, and our dearest hope is that you can find enough information and guidance among these pages to provide some comfort and support to you.

Part I:

Reporting for Duty

In this part . . .

Before you can embrace the military lifestyle, you need to understand the basics. In this part, you’ll get a primer on military protocol and traditions. You’ll also learn the basics of what you can expect on a military installation.

Chapter 1

Living Life As a Military Family

In This Chapter

Becoming acquainted with military culture

Maintaining flexibility

Talking the talk

Getting to know everyone

Figuring out if living on the installation is for you

Some people believe that being in the military is no different than working for a major corporation with multiple outlets around the world. But what corporation do you know requiresall their employees to be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year?

Military service is a demanding way of life and there are very few people willing to sign on the dotted line and add themselves to the 1 percent of our nation’s population that makes up this nation’s All Volunteer Force.

If your servicemember is part of this All Volunteer Force, welcome to the club. Life in the military is wrought with its own challenges and rewards. But success is 90 percent attitude. Throughout this chapter, we draw a broad picture of what sets military families apart from their civilian counterparts, talk about some of the idiosyncrasies of the military, as well as let you know what you can expect right off the bat.

Getting a Grasp on the Military Culture

The military certainly retains its own culture. When your servicemember joins the military, you’re exposed to a tight-knit community of people supporting a cause greater than themselves and dealing with issues that the average soccer mom would never encounter. In the sections that follow, we help you understand the military culture by giving you an idea of why servicemembers join and stay in the military as well as how connected you become to your community.

Believing in something bigger than yourself

Ask 100 people why they chose to join the military and you’ll probably get about 100 different answers that might include travel, thrills, opportunities, money, and benefits. For those of us with wanderlust, the promise of travel still serves to lure some to military service. Certainly with the temporary duties (TDYs/TADs) and opportunities to be stationed overseas at exotic locations, wanting to see the world is as good a reason to join the military as any other. There are also some thrill seekers who are drawn to the military by the promise of adventure and tough challenges that only jumping out of airplanes or landing on an aircraft carrier can deliver.

Many choose service as a way of upholding family tradition. For some, it’s all they know. If they’re military brats, they may loath to imagine any other life. Others are looking for job security or opportunities to learn new skills and better themselves. The benefits of the Montgomery GI Bill (MGIB) still draw people looking for a way to finance a college education. Although there are definite financial benefits to military service, not too many people are going to say that they did it solely for the money. So what keeps people in through the deployments, family separations, and constant moves? Simply said, that belief in something bigger than themselves. Ask 100 people why they chose to stayin the military and you’ll probably only get a handful of answers that include honor, pride, and a desire to serve their country. The decision your servicemember made to join the military means that you are now part of this great tradition.

Making lifelong connections

The military seems to draw together a diverse group of people from all walks of life. However, that common bond of believing in something bigger than yourself ensures that you already have a strong tie to the friends you make in the military.

You’d think that the constant moving would guarantee that you are forever saying goodbye to friends and starting over again. To a certain extent, that’s true; but in the military, you never say goodbye, just “hope to see you again soon.” With a finite number of installations you can be stationed to, chances are good that over the years, you’ll keep running into some of the same people over and over again.

Don’t burn bridges because you never know when you’ll run into that annoying soccer mom again somewhere down the road.

Civilian friendships are forged over shared experiences such as attending the same schools, vacationing in the same places, and living in the same small town for your entire life. The military’s not so different. Think of a culture where you all move in the same circles. Even though you’ll move from base to base, you stand the likelihood of living in the same towns (although at different times), vacationing in the same military hot spots, and going to the same base schools. Your best friends become those who served with you on the PTA board, the mother of your son’s best friend, or your neighbor on base who watches your kids so you can get a haircut or make a commissary run without your screaming toddler in tow.

So what’s different about the military? Well, some of your best friends will also be the ones who help you weather that second, fourth, and fifth deployment. The ones you call at 3 a.m. because the news just reported some casualties in the field. They’re the ones who babysit your kids who are running a 101 degree temperature when you can least afford to miss another day of work. They are the same people who cry with you because your spouse is passed over for a promotion or rejoice with you because he or she is chosen for one. They understand without words what you are going through because they have walked in your shoes. Your military friends become an extended family and these are relationships that you will come to count on throughout your time in the military.

Like everything else worth having, these lifelong connections need to be nurtured. There are certain things you can do to develop and maintain these strong connections:

Meet the other families in your unit or squadron.

Get involved.

Be there for your friends and recognize when they might need some extra care and attention.

Stay in touch.

Share your milestones (such as promotions, graduations, and new additions to the family).

Make the effort to send change of address cards.

Send those annual holiday cards and letters.

Follow the golden rule: Always write in pencil.

Being Flexible — the Key to a Happy Military Life

If you’re the type of person who likes to control your surroundings, you’re going to have to let that go. After your servicemember joins the military, you’re no longer in charge of your life. Of course, you still have some input, but ultimately, your life is out of your hands.

With all the things you can’t control, you may find it easy to start thinking that you have become an unwitting pawn in someone else’s life. Don’t get sucked into that mentality. True, military life demands that you look at things from a different perspective than civilian life. Moving every 2 to 4 years gives you an opportunity to recreate yourself every time. Think of the opportunities you can have that others can only dream of. While your civilian friends can only look at pictures of the great works of art, you can visit them in Paris, London, or Florence. Your friends at home learn a second language in an academic setting while you have the opportunity to immerse yourself in other cultures and languages. You get the idea — it’s all in the perspective. Rather than lamenting about how the military limits your choices, start thinking about how it broadens your horizons.

In the sections that follow, we give you some advice on how to control the things you can control and let go of the other stuff . . . for now. Maintaining a good outlook ensures that you will be open to opportunities that present themselves.

Adjusting to different directions

So you may be thinking that your servicemember is given orders, you follow them, and that’s that. Well, that’s just the beginning. A lot can happen between being given an order and preparing for it. Be prepared to adjust to situations, such as the following examples:

Just when you think you’re headed to Hawaii on assignment and begin dreaming of Mai tais on the beach, a change in orders occurs and you’re headed to Iceland — start dreaming about geysers and five-foot snow drifts!

Your servicemember deployed in the last year and is not due to deploy again for another year, but the needs of the service prevail and you learn that he or she’s scheduled to be on the next plane out for another rotation.

In the military, nothing is carved in stone.

Adapting to a changing homelife

You need to be flexible with your home as well. With bases spread out across the United States and overseas, imagine all the different floor plans you can look forward to. One assignment you might be living in a 1,500-square-foot ranch-style home and the next assignment, your same family could be expected to fit into a 900-square-foot apartment-style home. That gorgeous, comfortable overstuffed couch that seemed like such a great idea in Oklahoma might be a little less so when it won’t fit into your little apartment in Japan. And the ceiling to floor drapes that were to die for in your German house with the tall ceilings, huge windows, and great light may not be as attractive in Florida when you’re having to drill into cinderblock to hang them and then once you get them hung up, they block out all the natural light coming in through those teeny tiny hurricane-friendly windows.

Regardless of how well you might plan, none of your furniture will fit into the parade of houses you’ll ultimately live in throughout a military career. At least, not necessarily into the rooms they were intended for. More than a few military families have had to live with a sideboard in the bedroom because that’s the only place it would fit. And there’s nothing stranger than seeing a huge, ornate crystal chandelier from Prague hanging in the foyer of a prefab base home in Grand Forks, North Dakota. As a fellow military spouse, you quickly learn to ignore these anomalies and sympathize with the need to adapt and make do.

Keeping education and employment flexible

The need to remain flexible is nowhere more evident than in spouse employment and education. There has been many a spouse who started a bachelor’s degree at one institution only to finally graduate seven years and four different universities later. And what military spouse doesn’t have numerous gaps in his or her résumé with a strange and seemingly unrelated range of jobs held over the years? The desire to create a life for yourself and the need to balance it with your servicemember’s military service is a challenge that has faced military spouses throughout the years. More information on military spouse employment and education can be found in Chapter 11.

Unlike a lot of your civilian friends, you don’t have the luxury of sticking around to finish your degree or work to climb the corporate ladder and build seniority. But think of it this way: How many other people get the opportunity to meet people from all different walks of life, travel around the United States, and possibly live in a foreign country?

Traveling the world . . . If you want to

Join the military, see the world. This is still true. Depending on how adventurous you are, you can see as much or as little of the world as you want to. Some people will spend their entire career in the continental United States. Others will grab any chance they can to travel. In this section, we tell you how, between overseas assignments and space available (Space-A) seating on military flights, opportunities to see the world abound.

Overseas assignments

If you’ve ever been curious about other countries and are offered an overseas assignment, seize the opportunity. You’ll never get a better chance to immerse yourself in another culture. The greatest thing about being stationed overseas with the military is that you have all the benefits of living in a foreign country with a security blanket. Regardless of what foreign locale you may be stationed to, as soon as you make it back on base, the rules change, and you’re back in Little America. Back to the familiar fast-food outlets, commissary, and exchange (more about these in Chapter 4). What could be better than the adventure of living overseas with all the comforts of home?

Space-available travel

If you want to see the world and aren’t fortunate enough to be stationed overseas, take advantage of your Space-A (space-available) benefits. Forget reading just about riding in a gondola in the canals of Venice or gazing at the geishas in old Kyoto. With some time and research, you can soon be on your way to traveling there for next to nothing.

Space-available travel is one of the greatest privileges extended to servicemembers and their dependents. The premise is simple, if there are extra seats available on the military aircraft flying around official cargo and personnel, and if the crew is not restricted by mission constraints, extra available seats are released to space-available travelers.

There are six categories of Space-A travelers, and seats are allocated by descending order with Category 1 (CAT-1) being the highest and Category 6 (CAT-6) being the lowest. Within the categories, passengers compete based on how long they have been registered in the Space-A system for seats on the flight.

Space-A flights are unreliable and should only be attempted by people who have a lot of time and flexibility. At any given moment, a flight might be terminated without notice and you may have to purchase a commercial ticket back. In other words, if your sister’s getting married Wednesday on the west coast and you have to be back on the east coast by Saturday, Space-A is not your best option. However, given enough time, Space-A travel is a great and affordable way to see the world.

To address the questions of who’s eligible and how Space-A travel works, check out the most up-to-date information on the Air Mobility Command fact sheet: http://www.amc.af.mil/questions/topic.asp?id=380.

In addition to the official information, there are entire books and Web sites dedicated to the ins and outs of Space-A travel, but here are some basic things to remember:

Space-A travelers can register up to 60 days before their desired date of travel.

Military personnel need to be on leave orders to register for Space-A.

Although there is no cost in travelling on a military aircraft, there are some costs associated with traveling on a commercially-contracted airplane.

If your flight has multiple legs, you can get bumped off at any time.

Show times for military flights have a way of changing based on the needs of the mission, and there is no obligation to notify Space-A travelers of these changes, so stay close to the terminal or at least check in frequently for updates.

While large Air Force terminals are your best bets, virtually any U.S. Navy, Army, or Marine airfield will also have Space-A flights.

Travel light because different aircraft have different baggage restrictions. With a small plane like the C-21, you may be limited to 30 pounds of luggage.

Travel with ample cash or credit cards because you never know how long you’ll be out and food and lodging at some locations can really add up. Besides, you never know when you’ll have to shell out cash for a return ticket home.

Speaking in Code: Learning the Military Language

So what does it mean when you’re telling your family and friends about your impending move and they’re looking at you like you’ve grown three heads? Stop wondering — you’ve become the latest victim of speaking in military colloquialisms and acronyms. Don’t worry: Everyone is guilty of it.

Even though you may resist the necessity of learning a second language, eventually, your hand is forced. You try to maintain English as your preferred language, but you find yourself unable to converse with your peers because you don’t speak the same language. So, at first you find yourself peppering your conversations with military lingo here and there, but then one day, you find out that you sound just like everyone else:

A move isn’t just a move, it becomes a PCS (permanent change of station).

A DITY is when you do the move yourself — so DITY literally means “do it yourself.” And you thought some craft group thought that one up, huh?

An installation becomes a base, a post, a station, or a camp, depending on the service and the size.

TDY or TAD is another word for a temporary duty away from the home station.

You’re no longer stopping at Giant or Safeway on the way home; you’re doing a commissary run.

When your sister asks what you’re doing tomorrow, you tell her that you have an OSC board meeting and can’t miss it because you’re in charge of Scholarships. You tell her that you can’t stop by earlier in the day because your DH is going TDY and you’ve got to stop at the seamstress on base because you had earlier dropped off his new ABUs to have the Velcro sewn on. And after that, you’ve got to stop by the shoppette to pick up some hot sauce because there’s never enough Tabasco in the MREs.

These acronyms and lingo all sound logical unless you’re on the outside. To the uninitiated outsider, you’re speaking a foreign language. But don’t fret. After a few years, your sister will pick up that you have an Officers Spouses Club board meeting and can’t miss it because you’re in charge of the Scholarship program for the club. You can’t stop by earlier in the day because your Darling Husband has Temporary Duty away from his home base and you’ve got to stop at the seamstress on base because you had earlier dropped off his new Airman Battle Uniform to have the Velcro sewn on. And after that, you’ve got to stop by the small convenience store on base to pick up some hot sauce because there’s never enough hot sauce in the Meals Ready to Eat (rations they get in the field).

Your sister may now understand you, but just when you think you’ve got the lingo down perfectly, your DH is given a joint assignment (with a different service) and you realize that the language doesn’t translate from service to service. Army does not speak Navy; Navy does not speak Air Force; Air Force does not speak Marine, and so on and so on. Just when you think you’re getting ahead, you’re back at square one! Don’t worry about it: Everyone is in the same boat. Even though there is a movement afoot to think “purple” (terms and programs that transcend all services), each branch of service likes its own service idiosyncrasies. So just embrace your service’s culture and language freely. Once you understand the natives, you’ll begin to settle in.

Embracing the Place Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Forget keeping up with the Joneses. The military is a great equalizer. When everyone wears uniforms, shops at the same stores, belongs to the same clubs, sends their kids to the same schools, and shows up at the same hospital, keeping up with the Joneses tends to be a nonissue.

Better yet, not only are you all doing the same things, but at parties, you know everyone, and if you don’t, everyone wears nametags! Imagine it, no more pregnant pauses or awkward silences because you can’t remember the name of the guy who’s walking toward you with an expectant look on his face. One quick glance at the nametag and you’re back in business. What could be better?

And it still gets better: How about an additional patch that makes it easy to identify the other people in your unit? It doesn’t even matter if you know them; that kinship of being in the same unit is an automatic icebreaker. No more wondering about a person’s name and no more hunting for something in common with someone. The military boosts your social quotient, and you don’t even need to develop any additional skills!

Choosing to Live on the Installation — Or Not

Living behind the fences of a military installation provides a fair amount of comfort to many people. In addition to living in a guarded, gated community, you’re living among your peers, people who understand exactly what you’re going through. In a traditional neighborhood, people come from all walks of life and work in different career fields. Neighborhoods on a military installation take the term “cookie cutter” to an all new level. While the types of homes may vary, every person in those homes has the same employer — Uncle Sam.

People choose to live on base for one or more of the following reasons:

You can save money. You have no out-of-pocket expenses associated with living on base:

• Utilities are covered.

• The installation or privatized housing contractor takes care of maintenance issues that arise.

You have ready access to resources and services. Some of the greatest benefits are attached to brick and mortar buildings on the installation. Since most base housing is either on the base proper or at least very close, the commissary, exchange, and hospital or clinic become much more accessible (more about these services in Chapter 4).

You find comfort being surrounded by other military families when your servicemember is deployed. Because your neighbors understand what you’re going through, they will invite you to dinner and watch your kids in a pinch. Sometimes you’ll come home frazzled the day before inspection to find that your lawn’s already been mowed because your neighbor knew your husband was gone and did it while he was doing his own. Everyone keeps an eye out for each other and that can be quite comforting.

Of course, you have to do your part as well as in any community, civilian or military:

Residents are expected to maintain their quarters in an acceptable manner that includes maintaining the lawn and taking care of routine maintenance issues. Your installation housing office can give you the specific parameters of what “acceptable manner” and “routine maintenance” mean as each base differs in its regulations and requirements.

Standards are maintained through weekly inspections.

Warnings can be issued for violations and, with enough warnings, you can be kicked out of base housing.

On the flip side, some people choose not to live on base because of the exact same reasons other people want to live on base. All that closeness and support makes them feel like they’re living in a fishbowl. The lines between your public and private lives fuzz a little and some people feel like they’re never able to get away from work. For those reasons and more, many people choose to live off base. Find out more about your other housing options in Chapter 10.

Chapter 2

Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies

In This Chapter

Demystifying the stories you’ve heard

Figuring out rank

Understanding the culture and traditions

Making sure you fit in and get connected

Navigating the social scene

You’re probably coming into military life with all sorts of preconceived notions and beliefs. Some may be grounded in reality, but we bet that the majority of what you think you know about the military comes from popular television shows or novels.

In this chapter we do what we can to separate the truth from the rumors and help make you a little more comfortable with the military. In this chapter, we help you understand rank, expectations, and the military hierarchy. We also explore your servicemember’s place in the military structure and how that affects you.

Separating Myths from Reality

As an outsider looking in, you may have heard some interesting stories about the military. Now that you’re being welcomed into the fold, you need to take a little time to separate the myths from the realities of military life. And we do just that in this section so that you can get a more realistic view of your new life.

Below we give you some of the more common myths circulating out there regarding the military. Jumping into this new lifestyle, we suggest that you take the blinders off and figure out the lay of the land. Part of this exercise involves letting go of some of your preconceived notions and learning about some of the things that make the military lifestyle so special. Get your reality check from the following list:

Myth: Officers are better educated than enlisted troops.

Reality: It is true that all officers do have bachelor’s degrees and will often have to obtain master’s degrees or doctorates to progress to the higher ranks, but nearly 75 percent of enlisted troops also have some level of college education or experience. So rank is not necessarily a good indication of education or socioeconomic background.

Myth: People join the military because they get in trouble with the law and have to choose between going to jail and joining the military.

Reality: Actually, you could say the exact opposite is true. Brushes with the law could serve to disqualify people from military service.

Myth: Military spouses hold the same rank as their servicemember spouse and are accorded all due honors and respect.

Reality: Good manners require that you should be polite to everyone, but military spouses do not hold any rank — unless they are also servicemembers, of course.

Myth: The military encourages groupthink and all servicemembers are automatons.

Reality: Military members are representative of American society at large. They are as diverse a population as any other.

Understanding Rank and Military Hierarchy

Okay, we admit it: Rank can seem a bit overwhelming, but that’s where we come in. In the following sections we give you the details of rank in all branches and describe who does what and where they came from. If you have a general knowledge of rank and the structure and basically understand who falls where, you can get along just fine and pick up the rest on an as-you-need-to-know basis.

Checking out the different ranks

As you start to navigate the military lifestyle, you naturally begin to wonder how the uniforms correspond to rank. At first you feel like you’re trying to read signs in a whole other language: You know the symbols should mean something, but you can’t understand the code. Well, don’t worry. We not only unlock the code for you in this section, but we also give you the info you need to navigate your way through rank and its nuances.

Regardless of the branch of service, you’ll run into two types of rank: officer rank (see Figure 2-1) and enlisted rank (see Figure 2-2). But each type of rank looks different, depending on the branch of service. Figures 2-1 and 2-2 can help you sort it all out.

Okay, so your head may spinning with all of these symbols, but before you throw your hands up in frustration, take heart. Despite all of the differences, the following list shows you some commonalities that exist across the services:

E stands for enlisted. When people enlist, they generally come in as an E-1. However, based on other discriminating factors such as completion of certain academic requirements, troops can receive advanced pay grade status up to E-4 when they enlist.

W stands for warrant officer. Warrant officers are highly trained specialists, are not required to have college degrees (although many of them do), and outrank all enlisted personnel. Warrant officers hold their warrants from their service secretary. After warrant officers are promoted to chief warrant officer 2, they receive a commission from the President. The Air Force has no warrant officers.

O stands for commissioned officer. Commissioned officers are the highest rank in the military. They hold presidential commissions and their ranks are confirmed by the Senate.

There are two types of officers:

• Line: Line Officers are those in combat and support specialties.

• Nonline: Nonline officers are noncombat specialists, such as chaplains, lawyers, doctors, and nurses. Most officers start off as an O-1; however, the nonline officers level of expertise in their fields may earn them a higher starting rank. Nonline officers cannot command combat troops.

Figure 2-1: Officer ranks.

Figure 2-2: Enlisted ranks.