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St. Teresa Of Avila

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Beschreibung

St. Teresa of Avila is not a lofty, inaccessible saint; she's a companion, and has been taking Christians on a journey through their own interior "castles" for hundreds of years. Honest, humorous, and insightful, her devotional and spiritual reflections show readers how to open up themselves to God in new ways. This journey through Teresa's life and writings will engage readers for a full year, with carefully chosen daily selections from the broad range of her writings—letters, poems, memoirs, as well as spiritual and theological musings. Bangley makes all of these writings accessible—and essential—in these new translations into contemporary English.

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Seitenzahl: 321

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

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through the year with Saint Teresa of Avila

a little daily wisdom

through the year with Saint Teresa of Avila

a little daily wisdom

Saint Teresa of Avila

Compiled and modernized byBernard Bangley

PARACLETE PRESS

BREWSTER, MASSACHUSETTS

A Little Daily Wisdom: Through the Year with St. Teresa of Avila

2011 First Printing

Copyright © 2011 by Bernard Bangley

ISBN 978-1-55725-697-3

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from The New Revised Standard Version, copyright 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations designated TEV are from the Today’s English Version, © 1966, 1971, 1976 by American Bible Society, and are used by permission.

Scripture quotations designated KJV are from the Authorized King James Version of the Holy Bible.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Teresa, of Avila, Saint, 1515-1582.

[Selections. English. 2011]

A little daily wisdom: through the year with Saint Teresa of Avila / compiled and modernized by Bernard Bangley.

p. cm.

 ISBN 978-1-55725-697-3

1. Devotional calendars--Catholic Church. 2. Catholic Church--Prayers and devotions. I. Bangley, Bernard, 1935- II. Title.

 BX2179.T3E5 2011

 242’.2--dc22

2010040660

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in an electronic retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published by Paraclete PressBrewster, Massachusettswww.paracletepress.comPrinted in the United States of America

Introduction

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

introduction

St. Teresa of Avila’s life and writing destroy every notion that there are two kinds of religious personalities: active and contemplative. The story of Mary and Martha recorded in Luke 10:38–42, so beloved by generations of Christians, tends to make us think that the two patterns of behavior are clear opposites and mutually exclusive. The Christian is either a Martha, busy with the dishes, or a Mary, conversing with Jesus. Such a simple distinction is simply not true—not even for Mary and Martha. Most of us combine the characteristics of both, emphasizing one or the other as circumstances dictate or allow. Teresa is an outstanding example of a thorough blending of both.

Baptized in 1515 in Avila, Spain, as Teresa Sánchez de Cepeda y Ahumada, she was one of ten children in an affluent family. People considered Teresa a beautiful girl with a pleasant disposition. Her mother, Beatriz, died when Teresa was a teenager. Her father turned her care over to Augustinian nuns in 1531. At the age of twenty-one, without her father’s approval, she fulfilled a personal dream and became a Carmelite nun in her hometown.

As a nun Teresa influenced the history and practices of the Roman Catholic Church in significant ways. She led her Carmelite order toward a stricter observance and ultimately founded fourteen monasteries. Her spirit of reform reached out through the cooperation of her friend Juan de la Cruz, known to us as St. John of the Cross, to change the manner of living for male Carmelites. The reformers used the terms calced and discalced (with shoes or without, i.e., barefoot) to denote the difference of humility they had brought about in their religious communities, which followed Teresa’s practice of poverty and renunciation.

Plagued with very poor health, Teresa somehow managed to attend to a multitude of administrative details. She directed the work of laborers the way a modern contractor hires and oversees employees. She dealt with royalty and with “city hall” diplomatically. She put in an exhausting day that began with worship at five in the morning and often kept her at her desk until well past midnight.

It is this same busy, creative, determined administrator who is also one of the greatest contemplative spirits in history. While signing contracts or confuting her critics, she was aware that she was living her life in the presence of God. Teresa would not have us understand that in a figurative sense. She had a personal experience of mystical union with God through a remarkable prayer life that dominated her existence. She died in 1582 at the age of sixty-seven. Pope Gregory XV canonized her in 1622, and in 1970 she became, with St. Catherine of Siena, the first female Doctor of the Church.

Teresa wrote enduring books on prayer and Christian living. Her work will always be in print in many languages, and new versions continue to appear. The present book is unique because it is the first attempt to give an interested reader a broad exposure to the vast expanse of Teresian literature. If all you read of Teresa are the several famous passages relating her mystical experiences, you will gain a distorted notion of her. By spending a few moments each day for a full year with this volume, you will gain a solid familiarity with every aspect of Teresa’s life and thought. I have gently paraphrased selections from the entire collection of her work into contemporary English.

Sometimes Teresa’s writing becomes difficult as she attempts to express the inexpressible. She knows what she wants to say, but she has trouble determining how to say it. She fills many pages with brief prayers and expressions of exasperation. Teresa says there are no words available to describe her rapturous experiences. She is correct, but she attempts it anyway. Paraphrasing these breathless passages into contemporary English presents a considerable challenge, with a risk of distorting her ideas. Using extreme care, in a few places I have compressed an entire page into a single sentence. But ultimately I hope that this volume will be a springboard for you to discover the pleasure of reading one of the complete editions of Teresa’s works.

Some of Teresa’s terminology may seem strange to today’s reader. I have often translated her use of a word into more familiar terms, but for accuracy a few examples of her specific terms remain. Five such words require explanation:

•  HIS MAJESTY: This is one of Teresa’s favorite nicknames for God. It reflects her reverent perception of the royalty and power of the divine. As closely as she lived with God, her manner of expression never became too familiar. She always exhibits the utmost courtesy and respect. She knows God rules and trusts him to get things done.

•  PERFECTION: Jesus said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matt. 5:48). Scholars tell us the Greek word for perfection used here is in the future tense, implying the moral obligation of a correct attitude rather than perfect conduct of life. Perfection is integrity in our relationship with God. Moral perfection is not something we can attain here on earth. Teresa is not talking about legalism or an abstract ideal. Perfection, for her, is wholeheartedly serving God. The more we love God and neighbor, the more perfect we become.

•  RECOLLECTION: In our time, this word refers to memory. When someone says, “I recollect,” it is a matter of recalling something almost forgotten. In classic Christian spirituality, recollection refers to a tranquil mind undisturbed by wandering thoughts. A prayer of recollection turns our vision inward, away from externalities. Teresa thinks of recollection as the entrance to the interior life and an indicator that one’s soul is prepared to receive.

•  VISITATOR: This term refers to a representative of the pope who formally visited and inquired about conditions in a religious community. Personal interviews with superiors and members uncovered both joys and concerns, opening a way for support and correction.

•  WORLD: Teresa exhibits a fondness for the natural world, often making strong points by mentioning birds, insects, flowers, springs, and the like. When she makes disparaging comments about the “world” she is not thinking of God’s creation. Her reference is to the secular as opposed to the religious. She is expressing a disdain for material possessions and the aggressive and immoral means people use to obtain them.

I have selected and arranged material from Teresa’s writings with no attempt at chronological order. Her style of writing is naturally conversational. Please keep in mind throughout this book that the liveliness in these pages is not the result of my translation.

The works included are described below, with my abbreviated title that identifies the source of each individual entry.

•  AUTOBIOGRAPHY: Teresa penned the story of her life under orders to do so, directed by her confessor, sometime before 1567. The task was an unwelcomed chore during the shaky times of the Spanish Inquisition. She understood that some of her comments could cause her trouble. She never sought this kind of exposure for her personal struggle with God and the world. Somehow, she managed to avoid the pitfalls while delivering a rare record of spiritual progress. In her attempt to preserve her anonymity, Teresa never referred to herself by name (she typically used other identifiers such as “someone I know”) and asked her confessor to respect her personal privacy if he decided to publish the work. Cited as Life.

•  THE WAY OF PERFECTION: A practical guide to serious prayer by one who has practiced it, Teresa’s most easily read book contains down-to-earth instruction for discovering a personal experience of the divine. This book was also written before 1567. Cited as Way.

•  THE INTERIOR CASTLE: Teresa’s classic masterpiece develops in an orderly manner through seven stages, or levels. This is the ultimate guidebook for a contemplative life, written in 1577. Because her sequence of thought is important, I have confined most of my selections from this work to the autumn months, with a sprinkling of her digressive comments scattered throughout the year. Cited as Castle.

•  THE BOOK OF FOUNDATIONS, 1573: Written to enlarge the story Teresa reports in her autobiography, including the history of the monasteries she had founded. Rather than provide only dry details, she fills it with spiritual advice, anecdotes, and practical lessons. Cited as Foundations.

•  THE CONSTITUTIONS, 1563: Whereas Teresa’s other writings reveal a remarkable ability to nurture spirituality in a world filled with distractions and conflict, this work is an example of her administrative skills. She understands human nature and knows how to make reasonable rules to govern life together. Cited as Constitutions.

•  ON MAKING THE VISITATION, 1576: A brief treatise instructing papal “visitators” how to turn a formal routine into something valuable for each religious community. As usual, Teresa displays common sense and profound insight into the dynamics of convent life. Cited as Visitation.

•  LETTERS: Teresa wrote thousands of letters, often staying up until the wee hours of the morning. Those who respected the value of her correspondence collected more than 400 letters and fragments. Some are simply business but most communicate with friends conversationally and many contain spiritual insight. Teresa had to be circumspect when preparing books for publication because she knew her superiors would need to review and approve them. She is far more relaxed in her correspondence. Many rarely seen examples of her one-on-one spiritual instruction are included in this book. In her letters we can also discover that Teresa was as subject to ecclesiastical politics and personal power struggles as are modern church leaders. Many of her contemporaries did not treat her as a saint. Cited as Letter to [person, year].

•  POETRY: Examples of Teresa’s poetry are also presented here. Although not as talented a poet as her spiritual partner, John of the Cross, Teresa wrote charming poems to share with her friends and acquaintances. She even heard nuns set some of her lines to music. Cited as [title of poem].

Teresa was a “people person,” with an unusually large number of friends, correspondents, and business acquaintances. Some of these individuals interacted dramatically with Teresa and with one another. The people most central to her life and correspondence are briefly described below.

•  JUAN DE LA CRUZ, known more widely as St. John of the Cross: Author of Ascent of Mount Carmel, Dark Night of the Soul, and Spiritual Canticle, a gifted Spanish poet, and the first male discalced Carmelite. Jailed and punished because of his efforts at religious reform, Juan worked closely with Teresa. Together they produced the apex of Spanish mystical literature.

•  JERÓNIMO GRACIÁN: A discalced Carmelite friar considered by Teresa to be one of the best. Unusually well educated before becoming a priest, Gracián became acquainted with Teresa through her Constitutions. They met in 1575 and immediately became spiritual allies; she often addressed him as “my padre.” Extremely helpful in Teresa’s work, he suffered with her through tough and dangerous times, spending two agonizing years chained in a dark dungeon.

•  LORENZO DE CEPEDA: Teresa’s closest brother, who supported her financially and ultimately sought her spiritual direction. At nineteen he received serious wounds while fighting for Charles V in the Americas. In his final years he lived an almost monastic life on a farm near Avila.

•  JUANA DE AHUMADA: Teresa’s youngest sister. When their father died, Teresa assumed care of Juana for nine years.

•  MARÍA BAUTISTA: Teresa’s cousin and close friend who became the prioress of the monastery founded at Valladolid.

•  BALTASAR ALVAREZ: Teresa’s confessor when he was a newly ordained young priest. Teresa was beginning to have mystical experiences that confused Alvarez. She clearly perceived his discomfort. He lacked political connections and offered little assistance with her church and community conflicts. Still, she considered him a dear friend.

•  TEUTONIO DE BRAGANZA: A Jesuit priest who quit after a disagreement with the founder of the Jesuits, St. Ignatius of Loyola. The son of the Duke of Braganza, he printed Teresa’s Way of Perfection at his own expense.

•  ISABEL DE JESÚS: Younger sister of Jerónimo Gracián, who entered the convent at Toledo when she was seven years old and became a nun at the age of sixteen. Teresa spoke of her affectionately and often. Blind during the final eighteen years of her life, Isabel lived until she was seventy-one.

a little daily wisdom

“We pray, not for our own pleasure and entertainment, but to find the strength to serve God.”

—ST. TERESA OF AVILA

january

1

At the beginning of the spiritual life it is a common temptation for us to want everyone else to be extremely spiritual. It is not wrong to want this, but it may not be right to try to make it happen. If we do, it is essential that we exercise discretion and give no impression that we are setting ourselves up as great teachers.

I discovered this for myself. When I attempted to induce others to pray, they would listen to what I had to say. When they then observed that I, the great practitioner of prayer, lacked certain virtues this would lead them astray. My actions were not compatible with my words. Across many years only three individuals have gained anything of value from what I have said to them.

We are also tempted to allow the sins and failings of others to distress us. We try to fix things. This excites us so much that it keeps us from praying. Worst of all, we trick ourselves into believing we are doing the Lord’s work.

Try to focus on the best in others and the worst in ourselves. This will blind us to their defects. Eventually, we may even think of them as better than ourselves.

—LIFE

january 2

This is my early method of prayer. In the beginning I could not reflect expansively with my mind. I tried to imagine Christ within me. I had many simple thoughts of this kind.

The scene of Christ praying in the Garden of Gethsemane brought me much comfort. I tried to be his companion there. I attempted to imagine his sweat and agony in that place. I wanted to wipe the sweat from his brow, but I never allowed myself to do it. My sins seemed so serious to me.

I stayed with Christ in the garden as long as I could, but many distractions tormented me.

—LIFE

january 3

God does not put all of us on the same road. If you think you are on the lowest path of all, you may actually be on the highest in the Lord’s view.

For me, contemplation and meditation are important. But these are God’s gifts to me and are not necessary for salvation. It is not something God demands of us.

Don’t be discouraged, then, and stop praying or participating in the community of faith. The Lord is not in a hurry. He gives to others now. He will give to you later.

—WAY

january 4

Personally, I endured fourteen years without ever meditating satisfactorily unless I was reading something. I am not alone in this. Many Christians can’t meditate even when they are reading. The best they can do is recite vocal prayers. Some have a problem with a short attention span. Unable to concentrate, they restlessly try to focus on God while fending off a thousand silly thoughts about religion.

I know a very old woman who is living an excellent life. I wish I were more like her. She is a penitent and a great servant of God. For years she has been praying the classic prayers aloud. Mental prayer is impossible for her. Many people are like this. This does not make them second-class Christians. Ultimately, many such people think they must be at fault. They think they are backward or handicapped.

Those God calls to an active ministry should not murmur against others who are absorbed in prayer. It is all in the same package. Whether your specialty is meditation and prayer or caring for the sick or sweeping floors in service to Christ, what should it matter? We are to do our best at whatever we do.

—WAY

january 5

Moaning and complaining when we have a little ailment is a sign of imperfection. If the sickness is bearable, don’t talk about it. If the illness is serious, it will talk about itself with a distinctive kind of moaning.

If you are really sick, say so and take your medicine. If you have a minor ailment, which comes and goes, don’t make a habit of talking about it all the time. Our bodies have one fault: the more we cater to them, the more things they want.

Learn to suffer a little for the love of God without needing to tell everyone about it. Keep your minor ailments a secret between you and God because talking about them does nothing at all to mitigate them.

Serious illness is another matter. I am thinking now about ordinary ailments, which you may have, but they are slight. With those, you can keep going. There is no need to bother everyone else.

Consider the holy hermits of past days. They endured tremendous sufferings in solitude. They were cold, hungry, and exposed to desert sun. They had no one to complain to except God. Do you think they were iron men? They were not. They were as frail as we are. When we start to subjugate these bodies of ours, they give us much less trouble. Our bodies mock us—now let’s mock our bodies.

This is not a trifling matter. God will help us gain mastery of our flesh.

—WAY

january 6

Someone asked me to pray for him, but he did not need to ask, because I had already determined to pray. I went to my usual place for private prayer and began to speak foolishly with the Lord, as I often do when I am not sure what to say. That’s when love is speaking, lifting me up to the point that I can’t recognize any separation between my soul and God. When love understands it is in the presence of God, the soul loses self-consciousness and speaks absurdities.

I remember a time when I pleaded with God to commit me fully to his service. In my prayer I said I was not satisfied with simply thinking of God as good—I wanted to think of him as very good. I said to His Majesty, “Lord, please do not deny me this favor. Notice how this individual is qualified to be your friend.”

O goodness and great humanity of God! You don’t regard the language, but the desire and the determination behind such words. How can you put up with anyone as bold as I have been? May you be blessed forever.

—LIFE

january 7

I am sorry to read about the great difficulties you have experienced, my daughter, and that you must continue to endure so much important and necessary business. I know what that’s like. Still, I don’t believe you would feel any better if you could find the undisturbed quiet you desire, and it could actually make you feel worse. I am absolutely sure of this because I am familiar with your disposition. I accept the fact that you will find it necessary to undergo distress. Such trials are the experiences that produce saints. The longing you have for solitude is better than the possession of it.

—LETTER TO MARÍA BAUTISTA, 1574

january 8

God, you are infinitely good. You have made me your friend. You waited patiently and favored me. You waited for me to adjust to your nature while enduring my nature. In a moment of repentance, you forget my offensiveness.

I am not able to understand, my Creator, why everyone is not trying to become your special friend. Why do the wicked refuse to allow you to be with them a few hours a day? A thousand worldly cares and worries keep them away the same way such concerns hindered me.

—LIFE

january 9

When I enjoyed being with the Lord today, I made a bold complaint. I asked him, “Why, my God, do you keep me in this miserable life? Everything here gets in the way of my spiritual pleasure. I must eat, sleep, conduct business, and talk with everyone who needs my attention. I accept this great torment because of my love for you. But why do you hide from me when I finally find a little time to enjoy your presence? Is this a reflection of divine mercy? I don’t understand how your love for me can allow this. I am never out of your sight. You are always with me, and there is no way I could ever hide from you.”

Sometimes love makes me foolish. The Lord puts up with my nonsense. I praise such a good King! We would never dare to make remarks like this to earthly kings.

—LIFE

january 10

In combat, the standard-bearer is not armed. His exposure to danger is as great as the other soldiers, but it is not his job to fight. He will suffer as much as anyone else, but he cannot defend himself. He is carrying the flag and must not allow it to leave his hands even if the enemy is cutting him to pieces.

Christians need to hold the cross of Jesus high. It is our duty to suffer with Christ. This is a duty with high honor. Think about it! If the standard-bearer lets the flag fall, the battle will be lost. The other soldiers can retreat if they must, and no one will notice. They have no loss of honor. But everyone is looking at the flag for inspiration. It must hold its ground. This is a noble assignment. The king gives great honor to anyone who accepts it. It is a serious obligation.

The Lord knows us as we really are. He gives each of us work to do. He understands what is most appropriate for us, what will be helpful to him, and what will be good for others. Unless you fail to prepare yourself for your assignment, you can be sure it will be successful.

—WAY

january 11

Our prayer for those who give us light should be unceasing. With the storms that rage in the church today, what would we do without them? If some clergy have gone bad, the good ones shine more brilliantly.

May it please the Lord to keep those who lead the church under his care. God help them that they might help us.

—LIFE

january 12

I am not surprised to read that you are dissatisfied with yourself. You should not be astonished that you are experiencing some cooling of your spiritual life, when you consider stressful travel and the demands for your time. When things settle down, your soul will also calm.

My own health has improved. I was seriously ill for about two months, and the sickness degraded my interior life. It was almost as though I were not present. Inside, improvement has already started; outside, I have common ailments.

I am getting along well with Padre Santander, but not very well with the Franciscan friars. We purchased a house that is exactly what we want, but it is close to their house, and they have started legal proceedings against us. I can’t imagine how all of this will end.

—LETTER TO TEUTONIO DE BRAGANZA, 1574

january 13

Avoid statements like these: “I was right.” “They did not have the right to do this to me.” God deliver us from such false notions of what is right! Do you think it was right for Jesus to suffer all those insults? Did the people who did those bad things to a good man have the right to do so? Why do we think we should only bear crosses we think we have the right to expect?

Do you think you have to put up with so much now that you have the right not to bear any more? How does the question of rightness even enter this discussion? It has nothing to do with it.

When we are offended and hurt, there is nothing to complain about. We can share the dishonor with Christ. Consider yourself fortunate to have such an opportunity, and you will lack honor neither in this life nor in the next.

—WAY

january 14

O my Lord, you seem determined to save me. I pray this may happen.

But since you have granted me so many favors, doesn’t it seem reasonable that it would be a good thing (not for my benefit, but for your honor) if the inn where you continually dwell did not get so dirty?

—LIFE

january 15

Some people believe that devotion will slip away from them if they relax a little. I believe recreation is good for the soul. If we relax a while, we will be stronger when we return to prayer.

Do not spend all of your time in one method of prayer even if you have found an excellent method of prayer that you really enjoy. You may need a kind of Sunday. I mean a time of rest from your spiritual labor.

You might think that you will lose something if you stop working at prayer. My view is that your loss would be gain. Try to imagine yourself in the presence of Christ. Talk with him. Delight in him. There is no need to weary yourself by composing great speeches to him.

There is a time for one thing and a time for another. The soul can become weary of eating the same food over and over again. Remember that there is a great variety of food that is wholesome and nutritious. If your spiritual palate becomes familiar with their various tastes, they will sustain the life of your soul, bringing many benefits.

—LIFE

january 16

Beginning my life as a nun brought many changes. The new diet affected my health. While I was extraordinarily pleased to be a nun, this was not enough to make me well. I frequently fainted and had chest pain. My sickness alarmed anyone who saw it happen. In fact, my first year at the Incarnation convent brought innumerable puzzling illnesses. The only good thing about my ailments is that I did not have much energy remaining to offend God.

As the year progressed I was unconscious more than I was awake. The seriousness of my maladies made my father seek a cure, since community doctors had run out of treatments. My father made arrangements to deliver me to a healer who lived in my sister’s village and had a reputation for success with difficult cases.

Since the Incarnation was not cloistered, the senior nun, Juana, accompanied me to María’s house where I could stay during the course of treatment. I endured three months of extraordinary procedures that nearly killed me. I am amazed that I survived. My health suffered permanent damage because of the beating I took from these alleged “cures.”

—LIFE

january 17

Your letter arrived more than two months ago. I should have answered quickly, but I delayed while waiting for things to calm down. The reformed friars and nuns have experienced great trials. By holding off, I had hoped to send you some good news, but things have become worse every day.

Have faith that God will certainly hear the prayers made by souls who want nothing more than to serve God. This is my constant prayer, and it is the prayer of all your servants in these monasteries. Not a day goes by that I do not find souls who put me to shame. The Lord himself must be selecting them and directing them to our houses from far away.

—LETTER TO TEUTONIO DE BRAGANZA, 1578

january 18

Do not take my comments as infallible. For a subject as complex as prayer, that would be a foolish notion. There are many paths along this spiritual way and I may manage to write a few helpful things about some of them, but if you do not walk the same path I am walking you may not understand what I am saying. If my words do not help anyone, the Lord will accept my desire to help.

Some consider mental prayer the perfect prayer. They try to keep their mind focused on God. This requires tremendous effort and they are satisfied that it makes them spiritual. If life requires other good work of them, they become distressed and think everything is lost. No doubt it is a special privilege from the Lord to be able to meditate continuously. There is nothing wrong with trying to sustain this kind of prayer. What we need to remember, though, is that not everyone is capable of doing this. But all souls have the capacity for love. The soul is not the mind any more than thinking controls the will. Above all, spiritual progress does not lie in thinking much, but in loving much.

—FOUNDATIONS

january 19

My hair stood on end when I received Communion. The Lord frequently wants me to see his astonishing splendor in the bread. The experience left me limp.

O my Lord! If you did not subdue your radiance, none of us could even approach Communion. May all angels and creatures sing your praises.

You give yourself in proportion to our weakness in order to prevent terrifying us. You reveal yourself a little at a time. I am astonished that I can perceive something as extraordinary as your majesty in a piece of bread.

—LIFE

january 20

We once had a deep well with very bad water that would not flow. I asked some workmen to dig us a new well, but they laughed at me for wanting to throw money away. I asked the sisters for their opinion. One of them thought we should try, reasoning that without a functioning well we would have to pay someone to bring us water. It would be cheaper for God to give us a well on the grounds, and he would certainly do so. She convinced me because she spoke with so much faith and conviction. Going against the opinion of the foreman who knew everything about wells and water, I told him to dig. The Lord was pleased that we were able to construct a pipeline that now provides all the water we need.

I am not saying this is a miracle, although I could tell you some other things. The point is: what faith these sisters have!

—FOUNDATIONS

january 21

It is dangerous to review the years during which we have prayed. We may come to think that we have won some prize by serving God. It’s not that our service doesn’t have any merit or reward. The problem is that if a spiritual person dwells on these things it may not be possible to reach the summit of spirituality.

The more we serve God, the more we are in debt to him. It is as though God gives us thousands of dollars and we pay back a few pennies. For the love of God, let’s leave all this to him. Sometimes he will give the same pay to the last workers as to the first.

—LIFE

january 22

It is possible, while you are praying the Lord’s Prayer (or some other vocal prayer), that the Lord will give you perfect contemplation. This turns prayer into an actual conversation with God, working beyond understanding. Words become unimportant. Anyone who experiences this will know that the divine Master is doing the teaching without the sound of words.

The soul is aroused to love without understanding how it loves. It comprehends how distinctly different this moment is from all others. This is an unearned gift of God. Such an experience is not the equivalent of mental prayer, which is silently thinking about what we are saying and to whom we are saying it. Don’t think of it as something esoteric with an unusual name. Don’t let the technical term for it frighten you away. In regular prayer we are taking the lead with God’s help. In perfect contemplation, God does everything. It is not easy to explain.

—WAY

january 23

My desire is to describe clearly matters related to prayer. This will be very difficult for the uninitiated to understand.

It is best for a soul not to attempt to rise by its own efforts. If the well is dry we are not able to put water into it. Pay attention to this. If the soul tries to go forward it may actually go backward. Also, the foundation for prayer is humility. The nearer we come to God, the more humility we need. There is a kind of pride that makes us want to be more spiritual. God is already doing more for us than we deserve.

When I say that people should not attempt to rise unless God lifts them up, I am using spiritual language. Some will understand me. If you can’t understand what I am saying, I don’t know another way to explain it.

—LIFE

january 24

As night was coming on, we approached the town of Arévalo. We were fatigued because of our poor provisions for travel. A priest we knew came out to meet us. He had arranged lodging for us in the home of some devout women. In private, he informed me the house we had rented was near an Augustinian monastery that did not want us there and was certain to bring a lawsuit. With the courage God gives, small things like this do not matter. I told him to keep quiet about it in order to spare my companions grief.

—FOUNDATIONS

january 25

I did not have the money for necessary work on our monastery even though it was a small one with no more than fifteen nuns. I simply trusted God. If God wants it done, God will provide. I foolishly bargained with the laborers I could not afford.

Now it is clear that His Majesty has encouraged you to help us pay for it! And the remarkable thing is that the forty pesos you sent are precisely what I owed.

Our small house is plain, but we have a field with gorgeous views. That’s enough to satisfy us.

—LETTER TO LORENZO DE CEPEDA, 1561

january 26

Worrying about financial support seems to me a worldly waste of energy. Regardless of how much you fret about it, you will not change any giver’s mind or make anyone eager to contribute alms. Leave these concerns to God who can move everyone, who is Lord of all money and those who possess it. If we do not fail God, God will not fail us. If it seems that we lack support, it will do us good.

Those who give too much attention to money eventually will allow this bad habit to prompt them to ask another for something they don’t need. They may possibly ask alms from someone who actually needs it more. That person would gain rather than lose by giving it to us, but we would be much worse off when we receive it.

I beg you, for the love of God, as though I were begging alms for you, do not allow these things to occupy your thoughts. We will find blessings in holy poverty.

—WAY

january 27

Honor and money go together. The one who desires honor never hates money, but the one who hates money has little regard for honor. The world rarely honors an honorable poor person. Instead, it despises him. True poverty bears a different kind of honor that is never objectionable. I’m thinking of poverty we welcome for God’s sake. In my experience, I have learned that if you have no need of anyone you will have many friends.

I have read a lot about this virtue we name “poverty” that is beyond my understanding and ability to express. I would only make things worse if I were to eulogize it now, so I’ll say no more about it.

—WAY

january 28

Your distress comes as no surprise to me. I knew you would have some troubled times, because you do not have an outgoing personality.

What you are attempting is for the Lord’s service, so please don’t give up. Discuss the details with someone. Don’t fret about them.

I am also concerned for your health. My own health has been poor recently. It would be worse except for the comfort your house brings me. My pain increased so much that when I got to Toledo I needed two bleedings. I needed to remain still in bed because great pain moved from my shoulders up to the back of my head. I ardently pray for you. I am better now, though still weak.

The priest from Malagón came with me and I owe him many thanks.

—LETTER TO LUISA DE LA CERDA, 1568

january 29

It delighted me to think of my soul as a garden in which my Lord walked. He turned a nasty dung heap into a beautiful flower garden.