A New Beginning to Our Story E-Book

Erin Broek

• Herausgeber: BooxAi
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

Have you ever felt trapped and noticed the way you think is very dark? Have you ever looked at a loved one and felt no love or joy towards them? Inside your mind, you feel like no one understands or gets how you are feeling. You also feel most of the time depression just sweeps you away from the joy of life's adventures. Having depression for so long, you feel like you have been captured and you can barely breathe or see past the dark hurricane that has been shadowing your life's course. This devotional book is for women who are or have been struggling with postpartum depression. Praise God, you are not alone in your postpartum depression. God is with you every step of the way. Ladies there is a way of freedom in our minds and bodies. That is looking towards and knowing God is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Leseprobe

Erin Broek

A New Beginning to Our Story

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2023 by Erin Broek

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Published by BooxAi

ISBN:978-965-578-323-0

A NEW BEGINNING TO OUR STORY

A HEALTHY, PLANTED WOMAN WHO ABIDES IN GOD

PEACE IN YOUR POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

ERIN BROEK

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

Part 1 The Messy Garden

Chapter 1 Dark, Raining Clouds

Chapter 2 The Dry, Red Clay That Presents Our Identity

Chapter 3 The Sharp Thorns That Never Leave Our Side

Chapter 4 A Dried-Out Flower That Needs Help and Grace

Chapter 5 A Worn, Cracked Bucket That Needs Repairs

Chapter 6 A Knowledgeable Botanist That Offers Help

Part 2 Rich Soil of Truths

Chapter 7 Faithful Planter

Chapter 8 Attention to Gardening

Chapter 9 Slow Planting Season

Chapter 10 Resting at the Botanist’s Feet

Chapter 11 Enjoying the Growth of My Garden

Part 3 Planting a Nourishing Flower (You)

Chapter 12 Spiritual Planting

Chapter 13 Emotional Healing

Chapter 14 Mental Health Awareness

Chapter 15 Building a Godly Community

Chapter 16 A Heart Exam

Part 4 A Healthy Garden

Chapter 17 A Blessing From the Author

Chapter 18 Perfect Harmony Once Again

Chapter 19 Encouragements for a Healthy Planted Woman

About the Author

To the moms: You are not alone in your struggle with postpartum depression. Giving birth is a beautiful moment; seeing your child for the first time, who was just in your tummy rolling around and giving you kicks, letting you know they hear you. But because of the fall that happened in the garden between Adam and Eve, giving birth is a wake-up call and is traumatizing “to” your body and your mind. Through the dark nights thinking you are all alone, God was there. He was preparing your future for you. He was giving you the tools you needed to become a healthy, planted mom who abides in God instead of your depression. I pray this book will give you hope and understanding of your new journey with Christ.

To my husband: Thank you for being patient with me when I was struggling as a new mom. Thank you for helping me see that I needed to be nourished in Jesus. You gave me the strength that I need to get help and wake up from my depression. Your love for our daughter helped me to see that this is how Christ loves me.

To my therapist: You know who you are. I thank you for helping me with my trauma and giving me the tools to help me see the light of Jesus. You helped me wake up from my depression, and I thank you so much. You helped me set boundaries when spiritual warfare was at my door. And you were always there for me when I needed help, no question asked. Your voice, your oils, your pillows, your couch, your prayers, and just listening to me helped me become a stronger woman. I will never forget your kindness and your godly wisdom. May God give you strength in this time of need for therapy. Now I can say back to you what gave me the strength to keep going (good job Erin!). Good job, therapist!

PREFACE

“Depression, fear, and anger is not our story, but peace, freedom, and joy is because of the blood of Jesus Christ.”

~Erin Broek~

When you spend time alone, your mind goes like a fast train around and around the tracks. You think about everything you have done that day and what you should have done for the day. The whispers of the lies creep in, telling you that you are worthless and not strong enough. You start leaning in, listening instead of turning away. You start believing these truths. Your mind, once beautiful and innocent, starts becoming crippled by fear. You don’t know what is right from wrong. You don’t know how you got here. You can’t even go outside because fear got you right where it wanted you. You start sleeping less, gaining more weight than you should, and you become an irritating person to be around. How did I let myself get here? How long have I been like this? Then, you start waking up and seeing these lies don’t apply to you at all. You start speaking truth and encouraging words to yourself. You say to yourself, “You are beautiful, you are strong, you are brave, and you are a daughter of the Lord.”

You see that what your pastors have been preaching to you every Sunday is what your soul needs to grow and to be healthy. You need to abide by God to reach your destination to become a well-rounded, healthy individual. You see around you now clearly. You can’t believe you let yourself stoop so low that you completely lost your true self. You tell yourself you will be okay, but you know deep down that you are not okay. You tell yourself enough is enough. You need Jesus. You need His word. You need help. So, you nervously tell your husband, a friend, and a professional therapist that you are suffering from postpartum depression. You peel back the layers you have been holding onto so closely because they were your only hope. Well, you thought so. When you are sharing this sensitive information about yourself, you can breathe for the first time in months. You feel alive and ecstatic.

The dark depression cloud is erased by the beautiful rainbow of God’s promises that He made to you and to all His people. You see now that Jesus was there even when you couldn’t. You pray for the first time in months. You close your eyes and breathe in His grace and breathe out the fear you have been holding on to. You feel so close to God at this very moment. You let go of your depression and surrender it at your Messiah’s feet. After praying, you see that your soul is dry and that you need to fall in love again with your Lord and Savior. So, you get your Bible from off your shelf and blow on it to get the dust off. You begin reading God's promises, and these beautiful words are like water that soothes your parched, sore throat. You see now that you can have a new beginning to your story because the Holy Spirit opened your eyes to see that you need change. You want help, you want to become healthy, and you want to abide in God.

If this story is similar to yours, then welcome, dear friend. Jesus loves you. This I know. Come and drink His everlasting love that will fill you with so much joy, peace, and understanding. Come as we begin to learn about our new story in Jesus. Jesus and His love story (the Bible) will help us become well-planted individuals. Yes, we can rest at His feet and listen, but we do need to do some gardening to get rid of some thorns and weeds that are planted in us. Jesus will give us “the nourishing, well rich soil” that will help us see that we are loved and beautiful in His sight. By God’s grace and help, we will become healthy, well-rounded individuals. We cannot do this journey on our own. There is Jesus to help guide us and to give us the correct layout to show us how to grow our healthy gardens. Ladies get ready. Grab your shovels, your gloves, and your buckets. It’s time to get dirty in beautiful truths by the gardener Jesus. And be watered by His everlasting love. Come with me as we abide in God together. Your friend,

Erin Cathleen Broek

~Breathe in God’s Grace. Breathe out the Fear.~

Erin Broek

INTRODUCTION

A Garden Won’t Produce if There Is No Nurturing

“Breathe in God’s grace. Breathe out the Fear.”

~Erin Broek~

Being home with my husband and child, I sit there glaring at my loved ones. I feel like a dark cloud is over my head, blocking my vision from seeing how wonderful God has blessed me. As a mom, I get angry at the littlest cries, laughter, and sounds. I sit there with a frown on my face and my arms crossed. I heard my husband say, “I love you, Erin,” but it was like a whisper down the hall. My little girl reaches her hands out to me to be held, but I look at her with anger because she ruined my body. Haven doesn’t even know how her birth caused so much pain in my body. I yell at Haven and say, “I have postpartum depression because of you, Haven!” I don’t even see how hurtful those words are to my precious little angel. I think no one loves me or understands the trauma I went through having our baby girl. Why are my husband and daughter having such a joyful time when I am lost in despair? Time seems to keep slipping away. I sit in my house, scared out of my mind. I eat when I am not hungry because food feels like the only friend I have. I feel so lonely and sad all the time.

But then, I hear a beautiful bird making music outside my dining room window. This sound turns my frown into laughter and a big, long smile. I smile for the first time in months. I miss the music of God’s creation. I miss smiling at little things that give me joy. I look around me and see my daughter sitting in the mirror, looking hopeless. Then it hits me that I am the cause of this emotion. What am I doing with a big plate of junk food in my hand? Why am I not outside giving my daughter all the opportunities of exploring? I see my reflection in the mirror, and I gasp out of shock. WHAT?! How did I get this big? My emotions let loose. It’s like a big thunderstorm of tears. I cry out of anger and out of fear. My daughter runs to me and puts her hands on my face. She picks up my head and makes me look at her. She tells me she loves me by the way she looks at me with her eyes. I look at her with messy hair, baggy clothes and tears running down my face. I say to her, “I am so sorry you feel like you have to help me as a person. It is not your job to fix me, my dear. It’s your job to glorify God and to enjoy your childhood.” Haven’s smile, with those two front teeth, is laced with worry. She runs to me and hugs me. I feel her love and for the first time I don’t feel so lost. The dark cloud that once was all around me is now gone. Life looks so bright and beautiful. I feel like a lost sheep that was just found by the good shepherd, Jesus.

I pick up the phone and call my husband. I tell him I feel different and happy. My husband says nothing, but I can hear him tearing up. I tell him I need therapy and I need his help. My husband says, “Welcome back, Erin! I am proud of you for coming out of your depression and realizing that you need help. I will help you get through this storm. Everything will be okay. God will be with you through your healing journey.” I hear his words clearly, not like a faint whisper. After I get off the phone, I call a biblical therapist who works in EMDR. When my phone is dialing, my hand is shaking like I had too many cups of coffee. I gasp for air. I have no words to say. Then I hear this calming, happy voice. I feel safe and draw near to the phone. She explains the process of EMDR and how God will work with us during this hard recovery journey. She tells me she is proud of me and thanks me for calling her to get help. She asks me to get a pen and a paper. My nervousness kicks in. I pick up the pen and I drop it three times on the ground. The pen does not work when I start writing. I ask this nice therapist to repeat herself twice. She can hear how afraid I am to schedule this appointment. She pauses and says, “Erin, let's pray, dear.”

When she is finished, I can breathe again and focus on what she is saying. Then she starts again by telling me, “Friday at 9:30 am at the San Marcos appointment center.” She asks me if I have written those details down and if I could repeat them to her. So I do, and I am proud of myself for not letting my fear get the best of my brain. Then she tells me that she will see me on Friday. I hang up the phone, and I smile. I cannot believe I just asked for help for my postpartum depression. I don’t know if I am going to throw up or faint. But by the power of Jesus, I had the strength to call.

If my story relates to you, then this devotional book is the right fit for you. Welcome! This is a book for women who struggle or who are struggling with postpartum depression. This book will help guide you to see the thorns and weeds you need to clean up in your garden. There will be four parts to this devotional book. The first part of this book is called The Messy Garden. The second part of this devotional is called Rich Soil of Truths, and the third part of this book is called Planting a Nourishing Flower (You) and A Healthy Garden. Before each section begins, I will have a quote from myself or a Bible verse or from a famous writer. Having quotes, in my opinion, helps the brain to start thinking and helps the reader prepare themselves to be in the mindset to listen and absorb what they’re reading. Also, in each section, I will be telling my story and how Postpartum depression affected me. I will be giving you biblical tools to help your mind be in focus on the Lord and to remind you that your depression does not define you. But it’s a wake-up call as daughters of the Lord, to see that we have a problem and need help from a pastor, a biblical therapist, and God Himself.