Ageism E-Book

Fran Winandy

• Herausgeber: Adelante
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 158

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Why are we afraid of getting old? Is youth synonymous with beauty? What is Age Shaming? The answers to these and other questions can help you reflect on your fears and prejudices. Ageism is age prejudice. The act of discriminating against a person according to age, or, if you prefer, the date of birth, the one that is there, on your ID! But what leads someone to perpetuate a prejudice of which they are likely to become a victim? After all, are we all ageists in deconstruction? This book seeks to initiate a movement of reflection and social transformation. Or at least participate in it! Will you come with me?

Leseprobe

Title:

Ageism: a new name for an old prejudice

Copyright© 2022:

Fran Winandy

Graphic design:

Beatriz Albernaz

Total or partial reproduction of this work is prohibited without the author’s written consent.

English Edition

2022

ISBN: 978-65-81405-22-9

Adelante is an editorial label ofGulliver Publisherwww.gullivereditora.com.br

I dedicate this book to you,Who is with me in this fight against ageism.

You, who know that you are a potential victim of this terrible prejudice.

You, who do not idly stand by in the face of injustice.

You, who feel uncomfortable with the unfair numbersOf Diversity within Organizations.

It is you who I invite to walk a new path with me!

How old am I?

I have the age when dreams start to caress youwith their fingers and illusions turn to hope

I have the age when love sometimes is a crazy flame, eager to be consumed in the fire of a desired passion And in other times, a haven of peace, like a sunset on the beach.

How old am I? I do not have to give them a number becausemy achieved desires, my tears shed along the way, when I saw my illusions shattered...

They are worth much more than that.

It doesn't matter if I turn twenty, forty, or sixty!What matters is how old I feel.

I have the age needed to live free and without fear.

To fearlessly follow the path as I carry on with me acquired experienceand the strength of my desires.

How old am I? It doesn't matter to anyone!

I have the age to lose my fear and do what I want and feel.

- José Saramago

PREFACE

My first reaction when Fran Winandy invited me to write this preface was to go on the internet and see how much the terms “Ageism” or “Age Bias” appear on the networks here in Brazil, in which contexts, and also to check if there were publications in this area.

This research only confirmed the relevance and urgency of this book because my search clearly showed how far we are from understanding the pain and delight, as that 60 plus years old named Caetano Veloso says about getting old in Brazil:

“Your health insurance increases abusively; companies carry out compulsory layoffs, and even public transport is no longer free - at least in the city of São Paulo - among other perversities.”

The good news: this same 60 plus years old audience is connected, experienced, and realizes that they know how to mobilize to achieve better conditions for aging with dignity.

Well, getting old is a right that must be guaranteed!

Yes, if “60 is the new 40!”, let’s use all this mobilizing power to change the references that exist about aging into the “the best age” because this, in many ways, is fake news and, also, evidence of the prejudices that surround the act of aging and the 60 plus years old population, known as AGEISM.

The good news? We can solve this, and this book is a great starting point, with data and inspiration, so that actions can be taken by the 60 plus years old community to change this culture built on “images from commercials” that do not represent the reality.

If today we live longer, it is necessary to join forces to ensure that these extra years are productive, dignified, and, above all, fun, creative and mobilizing!

Because, in ten years, people over 60 years will be more than 50% of the Brazilian people!

And, if we want to achieve the desired future, it will not be through “cuteness” but activism!

Change today to turn desires into achievements tomorrow.

Co-create and have fun doing it. Make some noise, go out on the streets, and raise awareness to generate a change in mental model and behavior regarding aging in contemporary times in this country called Brazil.

We have plenty of good examples in all areas! But it is necessary to go further in today's complex world; it is necessary to MOBILIZE people, and authorities, be true activists, and put our knowledge, experience, and voice on the streets, on the web, really make some noise, get recognition for the cause!

Rock and Roll on the way to 100 million voices turning dreams into achievements!

Because we have made a lot of history in this world, we have opened many trails, changed many lives, and more than ever, we will continue to do this, only now, with more data, certainty, knowledge, and a lot of attraction, because we will use time and life to conquer the right to cause good transformations!

"We're going to need everyoneOne plus one is always more than twoTo conquer the new life”

- O Sal da Terra, by Beto Guedes.

Wellington Nogueira, Social Entrepreneur, Actor, and Clown, recently premiered

Proudly in the 60th year of his life, realizing that this is just the beginning!

INTRODUCTION

I was 6 or 7 years old; I really don't remember. We lived in Poá, a city in the interior of São Paulo, where my father managed a textile factory called Brasilana. Our house was at the back of the factory, and our fun was to ride our bikes on the forbidden paths inside of it: whenever we had a break, we would sneak in with our bikes, savoring the incredible feeling of doing something illegal!

My childhood was very good! We played with the dogs, rode bikes, and ate the fruit directly from the trees!

I went to school at about that age: Batuíra School Group. In the first days of school, playing with the children at recess, a group of boys approached me and asked me why I had white hair. I didn't know. As a matter of fact, I had never noticed that my hair was different from others. They came closer, ran their hands over my hair, moved away, and began teasing me: "Old lady! Old lady! She's old!"

I cried deeply. I had a problem; I was different from everyone else. I felt isolated. Every day, history repeated itself. It took me a while to tell my mother the reason for my sadness at home. Before she could do anything, I took advantage of her carelessness, grabbed the scissors, and locked myself in the room; I cut as much as I could of my hair that embarrassed me so much! I didn't want to be old.

•

The moment above was possibly my first negative contact with the issue of aging. Until that moment, the sporadic, but intense contact with my grandparents who lived in Belgium, especially my maternal grandmother, only brought back good memories: I saw the elderly as good, fun, and loving people! Still, the distance of the age between us was clear. Seeing myself as a precocious old woman was a shock that took a while for me to digest.

I didn't think about it until, at the beginning of my professional life, I was responsible for structuring a Retirement Preparation Program at the Bank where I worked, where retirement was compulsory. Once again, I came across a difficult side of aging: the moment when people were placed on the margins of society, forced to leave the job market, and return to their quarters. Improving that moment became an obsession for me. It wasn't fair that those people had to stop everything and wait for death to come. I needed to show them that there was a possible and interesting life beyond the Bank.

But I faced prejudice from the other side; after all, I was just a third of the age of the people who were going to retire, and just a few of them took my commitment and work seriously. I faced this problem of lack of credibility for being too young at several other moments in my career due to my rapid professional development, but I only understood that this was a form of discrimination later when I came to study the subject.

Throughout my trajectory in the Human Resources department, I saw several manifestations of companies against older people. I lost count of the times I questioned this posture, but I still saw the problem as someone else's, someone in a different position than mine.

Around the age of 45, I had the first important insight: I wanted to change something in my body but considered myself too old for cosmetic surgery. It was the first time I had a glimpse of my own prejudices. I worked, had a good financial condition, and was professionally successful, but my speech didn't match what I felt inside: I was a mature woman who hadn't matured yet.

They say that maturity is achieved through self-knowledge, and suddenly, the “queen of behavioral assessments” realized that she really didn't know herself. Yes, I knew that I was independent, outgoing, creative, intuitive, and inquiring and that I loved changes. I had my astral map, graphological analysis, MBTI, DISC, Quantum, and many behavioral tests and behavioral analyses. Still, none of this prepared me for the transformation brought on by menopause and approaching 50 years old!

The action of this unexpected whirlwind brought revelations that were difficult to assimilate and the first contact with my prejudices and with the image of what I did not intend to be in the future.

But what were my fears anyway? They were still not clear to me. I decided to lay them on the table to organize my thoughts and plan what I would do from then on with this knowledge.

The first confrontation was with the physical aspects. Yes, my concept of beauty was tied to my understanding of youth.

I was a beautiful young woman, and I was aware that this opened (and closed) many doors for me. How can I continue to find myself beautiful, having achieved maturity with wrinkles and gray hair? How can I take care of my appearance without going overboard?

I defined an action plan involving different self-care practices related to my appearance: I would do my best to “age well”, taking care of the vehicle that transports my soul. But I must admit: the prejudice was present since the notion of aging well for me was doing everything possible to minimize wrinkles, sagging, and gray hair, removing everything related to old age.

In my research on healthy aging, I understood that preventive actions would be a way to lessen my fears: I would have to do everything possible to prepare myself for the future, considering questions about mind, body, and spirituality.

It was also around the age of 50 that I decided to change my trajectory. I was tired of doing the same thing for a long time, and the master's degree was a way to reflect deeper on this and think about possible paths.

So, I decided to specialize and work with Age Diversity and Ageism. But why Ageism?

As I mentioned earlier, the issue of ageism has accompanied me throughout my career. I didn't know how to name the problem, but it bothered me.

When I did my master's, I discovered a pillar of diversity that did not receive much attention in Brazil: the age pillar. In addition, I noticed that in many countries, ageism was being debated and fought, especially in the Labor Market. That's when I "came to my senses" (as the "oldies" would say) and discovered my "Ikigai"!

Ikigai is a Japanese concept that teaches that to be happy; we need to define a reason for being and act accordingly. It is an intersection of mission, passion, talent, and profession, that is, the idea of being paid to do what you love to do, and you know how to do it very well, in such a way that you leave a legacy behind. That's what I wanted to do from now on: work to fight ageism.

Ageism is the prejudice against age. The act of discriminating against a person or a group of people based on their chronological age.

Some call this prejudice ageism, others of age bias. Age prejudice or Gerontophobia, when the prejudice is specific against the elderly. I like to call it ageism for its scope (young and old) and its roots in the adjective age - which concerns age, or that is characteristic of age. I will use this term throughout the book, but you can choose whichever suits you best.

Throughout this book, I will put small exercises that can help you reflect on your fears and prejudices. Consider buying a notebook to do them, or, if you prefer, open a folder on your computer, tablet, or cell phone, but be sure to do them! When our thoughts are expressed in written words, we come closer to acting, and with action comes transformation!

I hope to start a movement of social transformation with this book. Or at least participate in it! Our conversation will be made in a very informal tone, as this is not an “academic publication,” although I point out research and data for those who want to go deeper into the subject.

If you want to communicate with me, send your impressions, criticisms, compliments, or suggestions, my e-mail is [email protected]. If the subject is of interest to you, follow my Blog: www.etarismo.com.br and my LinkedIn profile: Fran Winandy, where I am also available for contacts regarding projects, works, and lectures.

WELCOME TO MY FIGHT: #AGAINSTAGEISM

CHAPTER 1

AGE AND OURFEAR OF AGING

“I should have loved more, cried more, watched the sunrise.

I should have risked more and even made more mistakes,have done what I wanted to do..."

- Titãs

HOW OLD WOULD YOU BEIF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE?

50 years old: this is Maria's age since last Thursday, but she chose not to celebrate. As a matter of fact, she hasn't mentioned it to anyone. Mary is not happy. Beautiful, athletic body, well-cared skin, dyed hair, no one can imagine how old she is. Maybe 38 or 40? She is independent, works hard, loves to hang out with friends, and travels. She doesn't tell her age, not even under torture. Nobody knows, and no one will if they expect to get that from her.

•

Aging is a taboo topic in our society. People avoid the subject as if talking about it would make you age faster.

The chronological age that concerns Maria serves as an indicator for a set of physical and behavioral changes expected in our life cycle; however, she cannot cover all the complexity that the concept involves. It's like analyzing our weight: we also must consider our height, lean mass index, body fat percentage, and, why not, age.

Today, can we compare a 50-year-old Brazilian citizen living now with a Brazilian citizen who was 50 years old in the 1930s? This is the type of question analyzed by demographers, who assess the indicators related to life expectancy at a given time period. It is a fact that we feel younger at 50 years old than our parents or grandparents did, but were they treated this way? Did they suffer the same kind of prejudice we do because they were getting old?

In the field of Gerontology, the analysis of age from the biological, social, and psychological perspectives is intertwined in an attempt to understand this complex concept.

In this context, biological age changes according to time; this is common to all members of a species, and social age is related to the degree of adequacy of a person to the behaviors expected socially for their chronological age.

In general, people try to live up to social expectations regarding age-appropriate behavior. However, these expectations may vary depending on cultural, economic, and social conditions. This means that the sociodemographic expectation related to a person of a certain age residing in a large Brazilian urban capital is different from that found, for example, in an agricultural community in the interior of China.

Finally, there is the concept of subjective age, studied by psychology, or age identity - using a very similar sociological approach. Trying to simplify the subject, the subjective age refers to the internal experiences of each person about their chronological age and their aging process. This involves recognizing and comparing expected roles, social norms, and physical conditions.

At this point, you may be asking yourself: how do I describe and classify myself, and according to what criteria?

It is increasingly common to hear people say, "I don't feel like fifty years old.” This statement relates to how people describe and classify themselves and what criteria they use in doing so. In other words, this questioning escapes from an objective view of age.

Subjective age helps to understand the inconsistencies between the image we have of ourselves and the way other people see us. It causes the individual to have the impression of experiencing an age different from his real chronological age.

Studies1 on the subject show that this discrepancy is an adaptive mechanism and not a defense mechanism or denial of aging, as was believed, since it occurs throughout life, with opposite parameters at different stages: young people often describe themselves with subjective ages above their real age, and older people are characterized as having subjective ages that are lower than their actual age.

Also, according to these studies, many older people do not identify within their age group and believe they are the exception. In addition, from the age of 40, we tend to describe ourselves, on average, as 20% younger than our actual age!

Subjective age is believed to be a more complex indicator than a simple opinion of feeling old or young. Subjective age does indeed seem to have consequences on the aging process, and perhaps the most exciting fact is that feeling young makes people behave as if they are actually getting younger, offsetting the negative implications of ageism, increasing levels of satisfaction with life and longevity. Maybe this is the first tip for those who want to implement a program related to the subject!

Think about the opening question for this chapter: How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Write down your actual chronological age and, next to it, the one you would think you were if you didn't know. Reflect on the discrepancy. Write three characteristics that bring you closer and three characteristics that distance you from the labels you would expect for someone your age.