Aging with Grace E-Book

Sharon W. Betters

• Herausgeber: Crossway
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

Aging with Grace by the Power of the Gospel Whatever season of life you're in, God has equipped you to flourish—to live in the transforming power and beauty of his grace. As we age, we can easily lose sight of this message as cultural ideals glorifying youth take center stage. In this book, Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt offer present-day and biblical examples of women who rediscovered gospel-rooted joy later in their lives. Equipped with a biblical view of aging, Aging with Grace will help you encounter afresh the gospel that "is big enough, good enough, and powerful enough to make every season of life significant and glorious."

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“My childhood dream was to one day become a ‘godly old lady.’ At the time, that goal didn’t seem particularly daunting. Now that I’m in my sixties, it sometimes feels like climbing Mount Everest. Always a few steps ahead of me, Susan Hunt has encouraged and inspired me to press on in my journey. She has also been a spiritual ‘grandmother’ to the True Woman ministry since it launched. She has given us all a vision of flourishing in old age, for the glory of God and the good of his people. In this book, Susan and Sharon Betters have teamed together to provide perspective, wisdom, and hope for women coming behind them. They call us to keep our eyes on Christ—the prize—and to persevere to the summit, dependent on his grace every step of the way.”

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author; Founder, Revive Our Hearts and True Woman

“Some women seem to grow increasingly lovely with every year that passes. I want to learn from women who display that type of beauty and grace. That’s why I’m so thankful for Aging with Grace. This book is a wealth of wisdom for women of all ages to learn from God’s word the secret of aging with grace—I highly recommend it!”

Melissa B. Kruger, Director of Women’s Initiatives, The Gospel Coalition; author, Growing Together: Taking Mentoring beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests

“As I embark on my seventh decade, I find myself saying things about ‘finishing well,’ while at the same time moaning about the aches and trials that are my unbidden companions. But one of the gifts I love most are the friends who are walking with me. Sharon Betters and Susan Hunt are two of those friends. Let me encourage you to join them as they encourage you to walk through the final steps of your journey with faith and joy. They have encouraged me.”

Elyse Fitzpatrick, author, Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women

“As a woman on the cusp of her forties, I’ve harbored a secret fear of aging. More than the changes of my physical appearance, I’ve feared becoming obsolete as I age. I read Aging with Grace with a lot of tears and thankfulness as my fears were turned to praise. Sharon Betters and Susan Hunt address the realities of aging with biblical encouragement to fix our gaze on our timeless God who will finish the work he started in us. Because God is faithful, our growth in Christ will continue as we age. This is a book I will return to over and over again.”

Glenna Marshall, author, The Promise Is His Presence and Everyday Faithfulness

“Seasoned with wisdom, Aging with Grace offers us the biblical recipe for a life marked by hoping in Christ. Through examples of women in the Bible as well as women in the church today, Susan Hunt and Sharon Betters guide us to reflect on God’s faithfulness to his people throughout all of redemptive history, reminding us that it’s never too late to sink our roots in the soil of God’s word for his glory and our good.”

Hunter Beless, Founder and Executive Director, Journeywomen podcast

“As I read the accounts of the godly women in this book, I was confronted with thoughts about flourishing in aging that I had not previously considered. I felt guided by godly compassion and wise instruction, rather than by the frustrations of past significance or selfish pay-attention-to-me-nowness. This book is truly about flourishing in the years of God’s maturing grace.”

Bryan Chapell, Pastor Emeritus, Grace Presbyterian Church, Peoria, Illinois

“Through their insightful observations on Scripture, telling the stories of godly women in the Bible, and sharing contemporary testimonies, the authors show us how to flourish in our experiences with God and impact on others. Reading Aging with Grace will not only bless you but will also allow you to bless others.”

John Dunlop, MD, Internal Medicine, Geriatrics, Yale School of Medicine; author, Finishing Well to the Glory of God

“Aging with Grace is a remarkably authentic, heartwarming, and scriptural balm for the soul in the context of growing older. Sharon Betters and Susan Hunt consider the wisdom of godly biblical women in light of their own and other’s personal experiences, thereby guiding readers on how to age with grace in an anti-aging culture. Gospel hope radiates from each page, so read and be blessed.”

Peter A. Lillback, President, Westminster Theological Seminary

“In Aging with Grace, Sharon Betters and Susan Hunt provide a beautiful picture of fruitfulness in the later season of life. They explore God’s word to all generations, as they also introduce you to women shaped by divine truth in good times and bad. This resource is valuable for any leader who longs to serve God’s people with biblical wisdom and compassion.”

Stephen T. Estock, Coordinator, PCA Discipleship Ministries

“Susan Hunt and Sharon Betters have written a book that is simultaneously timeless and timely. Practical and inspirational, warmly personal and profoundly biblical, apt for young and old alike, Aging with Grace needs to go right to the top of your must-read nightstand stack.”

George Grant, Pastor, Parish Presbyterian Church, Franklin, Tennessee

“Reading this book made me feel like my two older sisters, walking toward Jesus in deep conversation, turned and saw me trying to find my own way, looked at each other, then ran back to grab my hands, laugh with joy, and resume with me between them. You are never too young or too old to glean solid, biblical, and practical wisdom from Aging with Grace.”

Karen Grant, wife of George Grant, pastor, Parish Presbyterian Church, Franklin, Tennessee

“In a society that seems to value only youth and viability, Sharon Betters and Susan Hunt reach deep into Scripture to illustrate God’s value on his children as they age and mature. They help calm the fears of aging while pointing to often hidden treasures, perspectives, and the depth of God’s presence and faithfulness as we age.”

Peter Rosenberger, author; Host, Hope for the Caregiver

Aging with Grace

Aging with Grace

Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture

Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt

Aging with Grace: Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture

Copyright © 2021 by Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt

Published by Crossway1300 Crescent StreetWheaton, Illinois 60187

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.

Published in association with the literary agency of Wolgemuth & Associates, Inc.

Cover Design: Crystal Courtney

First printing 2021

Printed in the United States of America

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

All hymn lyrics can be found in The Trinity Hymnal (Suwanee, GA: Great Commission Publications, 1990).

Scripture quotations marked AMP are from the Amplified® Bible, Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the authors.

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-7007-0 ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-7010-0 PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-7007-0 Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-7009-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Betters, Sharon W., 1948– author. | Hunt, Susan, 1940– author.

Title: Aging with grace : flourishing in an anti-aging culture / Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt.

Description: Wheaton, Illinois : Crossway, 2021. | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020013771 (print) | LCCN 2020013772 (ebook) | ISBN 9781433570070 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781433570087 (pdf) | ISBN 9781433570094 (mobi) | ISBN 9781433570100 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Christian women—Religious life. | Aging—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Older persons—Religious life.

Classification: LCC BV4527 .B4925 2021 (print) | LCC BV4527 (ebook) | DDC 248.8/5—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020013771

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020013772

Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

2020-11-18 10:37:39 AM

“The righteous flourish like the palm tree

and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. . . .

They still bear fruit in old age;

they are ever full of sap and green.”

Psalm 92:12, 14

Contents

Foreword by Karen Hodge

A Note from the Authors

1  Wonder and Worship: Psalm 92:1–4

2  Anna: Luke 2:25–38

3  Destiny and Destination: Psalm 92:5–11

4  Matriarchs of the Exile: Jeremiah 29

5  Flourishing and Fruitful: Psalm 92:12–15

6  Elizabeth: Luke 1:5–48

7  The Long View: Psalm 71

8  Naomi: Ruth 1–4

Concluding Thoughts

General Index

Scripture Index

To our husbands,

Chuck Betters and Gene Hunt, who for decades have shown us the way of righteousness, and now daily show us the way of aging with grace.

To our friends who open their hearts and share their stories in this book:

Carol Arnold, Ruth Auffarth, Dianne Balch, Pam Benton, Sherry Bitler, Jerdone Davis, Judy Didier, Jane Patete, Lynda Tedeschi, and Barbara Thompson

We are grateful for your transparency in showing us the brokenness of flourishing, and your hope, which shows the beauty of flourishing. Your stories supremely show that aging with grace is impossible apart from God’s grace.

Foreword

Karen Hodge

Women’s Ministry Coordinator, Presbyterian Church in America

When do you start to finish? Today is the day!

Inside every older woman is a little girl trying to figure out who she will be when she grows up. We long to flourish and thrive, not just in old age but right here and now. When I was twenty-nine and struggling with this question (and, by the way, I still am), Susan and Sharon entered my life. I watched and learned the shape of godliness from their lives. I can testify after serving alongside them twenty-plus years that they are still “full of sap and green” (Ps. 92:14). Now they have written what they have learned about aging with grace. This is the book I need now, and it’s the book I want to give to younger women.

Are we promised tomorrow? Today is the day!

The word of God describes life like a mist or a blade of grass (Ps. 103:15). Our season for flourishing is fleeting and temporal, but eternity is forever. Living in light of eternity impacts not just us, but our children’s children. “But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, / and his righteousness to children’s children, / to those who keep his covenant / and remember to do his commandments” (Ps. 103:17–18). The pages of this book remind us to begin with the end in mind, that our reference point for life is God, and that his word is our authority. “The grass withers, the flower fades, / but the word of our God will stand forever” (Isa. 40:8).

Do you desire to flourish to the finish? Today is the day!

Remember my friends, we are not running this race alone. We are surrounded by many who were faithful to the finish. Run with the women Sharon and Susan introduce us to in this book. They will disciple you to lay aside the life-taking thinking and actions that encumber you. Run with women in your church by studying this book together and helping one another divert your gaze from the worldly anti-aging culture and fix your eyes on Jesus. (A leader’s guide is available.) Start running, sister, and run until we get home (Heb. 12:1–2)!

Only one life ’twill soon be past.

Only what is done for Christ will last.1

Now join me in a conversation with Sharon and Susan.

———

Karen Hodge: When did you start thinking about aging?

Sharon Betters: My husband, Chuck, was twenty-one when he became pastor of a small church. Because my childhood pastor’s wife taught a Bible study, I thought I should too. Every week five elderly women sat at our table and let me teach them. Who did I think I was? Yet they loved and encouraged me, listening as though I knew what I was doing. They were life-givers. But there were also a couple of elderly women who scared me with their sharp tongues and criticism of my husband’s preaching and leadership. They were life-takers. All of these women were rooted in the church, yet not all of them offered kindness and love. That’s when I started my quest to understand God’s view of aging and how I could intentionally prepare to be the sweet, life-giving old lady who encouraged young women just starting out in life.

Susan Hunt: I think my obsession with thinking about being an older woman was largely due to my passion for and commitment to the Titus 2 mandate that older women “are to teach what is good, and so train the young women” (Titus 2:3–4). I wondered when I would be an older woman. Now, my aging body assures me I am one, and I love the perspective from this season of life.

Karen: What prompted you to write about aging?

Sharon: Even though we are both older women—I’m seventy-two and Susan is eighty—it’s doubtful either of us would have thought about writing this book. However, a workshop I was asked to teach on purposefully preparing for old age resonated with older and younger women. I laughed when some of them asked me to write a book.

Susan: When Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth asked me to speak on the Titus 2 older woman for a True Woman conference, I was shocked at the response from women of all ages. Sharon and I began discussing the question, “What does God say about aging?” We studied Scripture and prayed. Between us we have forty-two children and grandchildren (including spouses). We were compelled to write what we learned for our generation and theirs. It feels outlandish to write about ending well when we haven’t ended, but we do not write only about what we have experienced; we write about what God’s word tells us. We are awestruck by his calling and promise for this season of life.

Karen: Why do you believe our culture is anti-aging?

Sharon: American culture idolizes youth and measures value by what a person produces for society. When older people stop contributing financially through working, show signs of wear and tear, and slow down mentally and physically, culture considers us worthless. Some see the elderly as a drain on society. Why wouldn’t I dread aging when I have been trained to chase after youth and do everything I can to slow down the inexorable march into old age? Unless we are purposeful in fighting the throw-away, anti-aging messages with a biblical worldview, we will face this season with fear, dread, and denial.

Susan: Secular psychiatrist Carl Jung first coined the phrase “the afternoon of life” and defined it as fifty-six to eighty-three years of age. He said: “Wholly unprepared, we embark upon the second half of life. Or are there perhaps colleges for forty-year-olds which prepare them for their coming life and its demands as the ordinary colleges introduce our young people to a knowledge of the world?”2 To answer Jung’s question, the world cannot prepare us because it has no hope or power to give us. Culture’s false narrative about aging is the church’s opportunity to proclaim the hope and power of the gospel to equip God’s people to flourish even in old age.

Karen: How do you approach the topic in this book?

Susan: Our approach is very simple—we asked the Lord to teach us how to glorify him as older women, we studied the Scriptures, and we share some of the things we learned. We alternate; I write a chapter on Thinking Biblically about aging using Psalms 92 and 71, then Sharon writes a chapter on Living Covenantally in old age. This was an interdependent endeavor. Our ideas flowed into each other’s work, our voices became one in our desire to “glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom. 15:6).

Sharon: Throughout Scripture we often see an explanation followed by an example. The Living Covenantally chapters are examples of the explanation in the Thinking Biblically chapters. We don’t consider ourselves experts on aging with grace, so we selected older women in Scripture who illustrate the principles in Susan’s chapters. I soon knew I was on holy ground. I often paused and whispered, “What am I missing? Tell me your story. Let me get inside your skin and show me the treasures hidden in your soul.” I am forever changed by getting to know these matriarchs better, and we pray you will be too. They show us what aging with grace looks like and how this is not an independent endeavor—it happens in community with God’s people.

Karen: Is there a prevailing theme you do not want readers to miss?

Sharon: Yes! We want readers to truly believe that the Bible gives us not only the promise of bearing fruit in old age, but it also gives us a road map to grow and flourish in this grace. We want readers to ask, “What if aging, though challenging, is not a season of purposelessness, but rather an opportunity to discover our true identity in a way we couldn’t in the first half of life? What if we purposefully prepare for the afternoon of life while we are in the first half of life?” And for those already in the afternoon of life—perhaps ill-prepared, feeling worthless, and rudderless—we want them to know it’s not too late to experience God’s grace and, through his work, make an eternal impact in this season of life.

Susan: Our point is that aging with grace, or what the Bible calls growing in grace, is impossible apart from God’s grace. When the disciples asked Jesus, “‘Who then can be saved?’ . . . Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible’” (Matt. 19:25–26). This book is not a list of ideas to become a gracious older woman. It’s about the life-long adventure of God giving his children the desire and ability to do all things—even aging with grace—through him who strengthens us (Phil. 4:13). We have no nifty formulas to give you. Actually, there is nothing new in this book; but we don’t need anything new. God has given us the means of grace—his word, prayer, worship, sacraments, fellowship—to grow in our relationship with him. And he says to us, “Stand by the roads, and look, / and ask for the ancient paths / where the good way is; and walk in it, / and find rest for your souls” (Jer. 6:16). So come walk the ancient paths with us as we explore God’s promise and provision for aging with grace.

Sharon: We asked some of our friends who are at least seventy to tell their stories. We are confident their stories will disciple you, as they have us, to age with grace. Their stories embody the message of this book, so we offer two of them to read before you begin chapter 1.

Ruth’s Story

Ruth Auffarth partnered in ministry with her husband, Bob, for over forty-six years, most of that time in Newark, Delaware. She has three children, thirteen grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. Hundreds of women claim Ruth as their spiritual mother. She was widowed at seventy-three.

I’m eighty-eight years old and live in Gainesville, Georgia. In this season of life, flourishing means being overwhelmed by the difference between my “receivings” and my “deservings,” as an old Puritan observed.3 Looking back on my life, I see God’s sweet hand of providence again and again. Each day is a gift. Now that life has slowed down, I have more time to study the Scriptures, and oh, how much more precious that time has become. God’s thoughts jump off the page with encouragement and joy that can be applied to the exact situation I am facing. Early mornings on my porch I pray, “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, / that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (Ps. 90:14).

In praying for family and friends I confidently ask, “Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, / and for as many years as we have seen evil” (Ps. 90:15).

Yes, the days of affliction come. Part of flourishing is fervently grabbing hold of the Lord through his promises. He says, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). Gladness comes with his presence. As you grow older, expectations change. You come to realize that there is no perfect family, church, situation, or society. Because we live in a broken world, we begin to marvel that things go as well as they do because God gives grace upon grace. We look for his intervening hand of love as we work through difficulties. Struggling and rejoicing can happen at the same time as we let the struggles bring us closer to God’s warm embrace.

Another gift God gives for our flourishing is the local church. Active participation in a shared faith makes us a real family as we worship, sing, pray, serve, rejoice, and sorrow together.

We find joy when people respond to the gospel. After years of teaching Bible studies, I now attend several women’s studies as a student, where I find younger women are hungry to hear from an older woman. The Lord also gives me the privilege of counseling at the local crisis pregnancy center.

Finally, I am focused on God’s promise that “surely goodness and mercy shall follow me / all the days of my life, / and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord / forever” (Ps. 23:6).

Dianne’s Story

Dianne Balch and her husband, Dave, spent forty-four years establishing various lay ministries nationally and internationally. While they were in New York, she directed the women’s ministry at Redeemer Church. She has two children, six grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.

I began the year with a month of reflection. Advice from forty years ago, when I faced a life-shattering trial, resurfaced; “Don’t look back, except to thank God for what he has pulled you out of or brought you through. Then ask, ‘What am I going to do with what I have left?’”

As I reflected, I remembered.

When Dave was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, we prayed the prayer that never fails: “Thy will be done.” God gave us peaceful hearts, and Dave arrived in heaven seven months later. We were passionate partners, crazy in love. After fifty-four years of marriage, I grieved deeply, and I worshiped more deeply than ever before.

When my colon cancer surgery and recovery were heaped onto ten years of Chronic Lyme Disease, I prayed for strength to trust the Lord with all my heart. I grieved the loss of independence, but I knew the peace of his presence with me.

When I pondered how long I should remain in a home, church, and community I loved, I prayed, “As I approach seventy-nine years, is it time to make my twenty-fifth move and go to another state?” My month of reflection produced clarity only God and his word can give. It’s time. Let go.

So I’ve let go of teaching the Bible after forty-five years, leading women in evangelism and discipleship efforts, “Titus-twoing” with teens through eighty-somethings, and loving all of it.

I’ve let go of my home, furniture, and keepsakes, and moved west, only to return two months later to my southern community and church. The Lord led me through a trial to see where I belong and why. Weary after months of letting go, I’ve shed tears, counted blessings, and known Jesus’s presence and comfort. It’s been hard, but I’ve found freedom; I have been sorrowful but always rejoicing (2 Cor. 6:10).

My reflections also reminded me of what I will not let go—trusting God’s promises that Christ is in me, his grace is sufficient, and his power is made perfect in weakness, and praying for unsaved or suffering family and friends.

So what am I going to do with the time I have left? My answer is the same as it was forty years ago—make it count. Only the Lord who directs my path knows what that will look like. I may flounder, but he is faithful. Oh, how I love Jesus!

1  Attributed to missionary C. T. Studd.

2The Collected Works of C. G. Jung, vol. 8, Structure & Dynamics of the Psyche, ed. and trans. Gerhard Adler and R. F. C. Hull (1969; repr., Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1981), np.

3  Arthur Bennett, The Valley of Vision (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1975), 12.